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basically self hate is the idea that i "NEED" to BE something that i am not and can not become. it's essentially shame of what i am. shame is the perceived demand of other people. if you accept their reality then you may not dare to admit what you really are, meaning how you differ from what you...

the more i see, the less i dare to feel. pic from neon demon.

my favorite song :o [/SPOILER]

i wasn't talking about someone/anyone, just about me. i am not prone to being suicidal, but when i was, it wasn't some sort of lost purpose, but temporary bursts of intense self hate, which originated from demands that were introjected into me once, which i do not entertain in my normal life...

full disclosure. coffee is destroying my life again. my dose went up way too high and i am apparently acting out uncontrollably. can't remember how often i already quit this fucking speed of the masses, often for long periods, more often only for less time than it takes for the subtle...

i associate my bed with comfort seeking. even though i sleep without cover or pillow. but i get to relax. as long as i seek comfort, i am probably not really on the frequency of suicide. i may desire liberation from my false self nightmare. and bed's are the perfect place for waking up...

i doubt anyone here doesn't think they are human, with the exception of nofriends who has declared to be decidedly better than humans. one example for "idiot compassion" is enabling/encouraging a false self construct, such as a narcissistic one, that causes nothing but suffering. if something is...

haha, couldn't have said it better. be weary of pre trans fallacies. don't idealize narcissism as if it were grown up existentialism. most importantly don't vote fucking donald trump or any other hitler clone. the biggest pain in the ass of humanity is our misguided tendency to elect...

As long as you don't smile about politically incorrect jokes or because you see someone smoking a joint, smiling should be safe. Above all, germans are obedient to laws, including unwritten laws, potential future laws, past laws and don't forget laws from other cultures. Perhaps imagine calling...

tonglen meditation. breathe in the suffering of the world, of others, accept it as being your business somehow, then breath out virtues that are soothing to suffering, that are supposedly your own, know to you, anyways - imagine the world is receiving what you breathe out. it isn't abstract. it...

the question is what depth of your mind is expressing it's will. sometimes will is merely weak because it's only the will of a fragment of the mind, not of it's dominant core or the totality of it. sometimes the whole mind is shallow and only weak because of that. sometimes a shallow mind...

yeah but what is the value of a strong will if it's only wearing down and denaturing human nature in favor of adaptation to an impossibly hostile environment, from which a comfort seeking nature would simply escape? i wouldn't mind such attitudes of extroversion (adaptation to environmental...

nipple alarm.

superman, the diet. double eggs, double chin.

i saw this this show... genius of the modern world ... thinking: wait, this is jennywocky! or editorone in drag.

just made it through captain america. hard work. without ironman, it would be insufferable... super confusing plot and all for a few moments of iron feels at the end. most impressive movie lately: embrace of the serpent. it just feels like it's a documentary but turns out fairly surreal ...

U.G krishnamurti lookalike. LOL, science and technology have no morality? no INFP ever said that, grayman, except while setting a laboratory on fire.

i don't promote grains, especially not gluten, but i sometimes like to eat lye rolls with lettuce and low sodium tomato paste. no need for oils, fats or excessive amounts of denatured proteins, all of which cause the body harm. cooked food clogs your colon like capitalism your soul but chewing...

i would think "what an american brick, he puts people on the ground for talking shit in real life, no wonder he is happy to get bronto banned online and he thinks he is being "civil" for it ... yeah right. "civil" like a war veteran with PTSD." this ideal of law is obviously all about power and...

i like to think there is a holy reason for why i hate the whole world. it's obviously rubbing me the wrong way, but that could all be my fault. if i were 100% faulty. obviously i don't like that thought. so i have to come up with some stories or observations about how this or that isn't just bad...

attachment to role and outcome. predictions or threads were made, ideas like honor or integrity come into play, etc .. people will be staying true to narratives on a case by case basis, not true to wisdom from an engineers perspective, not handling situations flexibly ... narrative / selective...

in our culture a child is someone who can be told how to appear right now and conditioned to become what he ought to become later and a parent is someone who has both the will and the power and i guess the skill to shape the child according to his ideas. perhaps our culture is a wee bit...

Shoot all specimens into outer space. Sink all continents. Transterrism is the ultimate solution to our troubles. If you don't want to kill yourself, you can stop doing it any time.

it's good to invest all of your money into the american education system and none into your health. make sure to mention it in your resume. the nsa will give you a job. they need young selfless men like you to fight fruitarian terrorists on the internet.

just use common sense. eat what all the other people were made to think is healthy. basically: eat everything! just not at once. eat everything in moderation. so no more than about 5000kcal per day. you want to leave something for the kids in afrika. but it's all good for you, because capitalism...

avoid anything that your body is actually equipped to thrive on. no fruit! it would be unfair to the competition, if you were not to suffer from all the same diseases of civilization. don't be a traitor! did you know that it is actually illegal to eat more than two bananas per day? that's...

repress, cover up or displace symptoms, tell yourself you made progress and ignore the cause of the problem. it's how the illuminati rule the whole world so it can't be wrong.

yes, health exists, but it exists elsewhere and does not serve as a standard in those, who don't have it. otherwise i would have to blame my father terribly hard for abusing me psychologically, but he really doesn't know any better! and yes, an avoidance of pain can guide someone to grow within...

this discussion about hacking and social hacking / manipulation is why i don't want to place too much of my energy and expression here anymore. i've grown too suspicious of true thinking types. there is a handful people here who resonate with me and who knows, they may all be feeling types. and...

It's true, responsibility does not exist, evolution is trial and error out of hand, meaning there is no higher standard for it to hold on to. thus being "grown up" is just an illusion of self-righteousness through which people hope to feel like they are in a state of final/ultimate control or to...

yes, creative minds make the best out of every situation and the cult of ISXJ won't tolerate any of that novelty. everything must conform to expectations, otherwise life and evolution would clearly get out of hand, soon we'd run around with bald heads communicating telepathically...

i think bronto was not truly thinking like your brother, AK. and your theory of mind is not flawless. but you have a need to feel that it is flawless because it scares you to face one of various reasons for why u are socially isolated. you would rather have it, there were no reasons within your...

For several long status updates (little essays just like my posts on here): INTP or ENTP Only one text produced INFP. It was about spirituality. Consistently Very Liberal and Artistic and a bit competitive. All other big 5 traits vary a lot... I will probably not be confused with a leader...

what i have learned is that a person does not exist and can not find themselves, but that we are evolution, evolution is creative trial and error with some good intuition but ultimately no reliable plan of where it is heading, especially because life is a coming together of...

that's so weird, that this place has like a whole hand full of people who seem to care about my opinion, considering that, in my experience, virtually the whole fucking world hates me or at the very least considers me insane. and heart breaking if i have to disappoint them but i suck at...

i tend to ignore these kinds of dialogues but since you are asking for a response in the other thread (but nothing comes to mind, sorry) i want to respond here: you said things about me (also in the witchhunt thread, if i remember correctly), as if you were trying to validate a self image that...

@tberg i'm thinking a bit more social interaction might help to relax that libertarian-bordelinining-on-paranoia 'must teach society' edge. that's all my intuition gives me. perhaps you, me and AK should meet and take the necessary mdma to make that possible.

sinny needs to go on a long raw juice fast. you should generally ban people until they deliver some proof of having done something effective to detox their rotten brains. blauraun needs to soften his inner ISTJ ego with some mdma. and architect, you know what you are in for. that's right...

saying that lsd gives you visuals and improves your programming code or that salvia gives you lucid dreams or that weed is an appetizer is misleading like saying a car accident gave you an excuse to buy a new car. it doesn't tell anyone what it's like to fly through the windshields and tricks...

sexy bodies but that arrogant 'i know it all cuz society told me so and i earned the knowledge through endless hours of homework so it must be the truth' sheep mentality ... unattractive. i perceive many young people as the "hitler jugend" (hitler youth) of today, their values are modern...

two movies i liked recently were the boy (2015) "An intimate portrait of a 9-year-old sociopath's growing fascination with death" says imdb. touched with fire (2015) about bipolar disorder. not a super good movie but i resonated with the conflict between spirited intuitives and unspirited...

even jesus hates me

interesting read. i happen to be suffering from a viral outbreak right now. it's a life long sleeper in my body, but whenever it breaks out it contributes to dementia and is also fairly unpleasant. you speak of repetition so i'm thinking: where is some repetition going on - and i think it's...

I know! *han solo face*

I've discovered the INTP Diet: https://youtu.be/E2evC2xTNWg Now i rest assured, that i can leave you to your own devices. My own "failure" of taking 5 years to become immune to virtually all misinformation by trying it out on my own body and meticulously tracking the results and spending most...

there are seven billion people on earth and you are not my family and i don't owe you. i can't love everyone. if i could, "love" would be an empty word without consequence, an imaginary feeling. but it's not. it's an action of dedicating myself to someone and his needs for the time being...

Do you think i should be silent while you indulge in self destruction? Fine, then you don't deserve my presence, time and love. Oh yeah, because it's totally my job to present evidence, as if any human being could possibly present evidence about something so complex. On a fucking message...

lot, go and nail yourself to a cross, asshole. i speak from experience. i tried everything in the world that is fucked up misinformation and know that it won't work for you, so i post about it to save you from wasting years of your life with your own stupid experiments. the low carb, the...

yeah well AND IF you still cant be BOTHERED to OPEN YOUR EYES to the OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE both in SCIENCE and the REAL WORLD then maybe you need some ELECTRO SHOCKS to ZAP OUT OF your video game TRANCE. AND THE OTHER GUY. "work out BEFORE AND AFTER a meal" he said. "and eat only UNPROCESSED...

yeah, i'm not cutting you some slack, here is your "fully deserved response". (you did nothing to deserve a second of my time, actually) so, about perlmutter and his grain brain propaganda. cooked food, that can't be eaten raw, is still toxic to the human body, even after cooking, because...