Too cute for Germany :(

[Pyropyro]

I was talking with my fiancee the other day about her stay in Germany. She suggests that i was too cute for the country since my pronounciation of German terms are too soft and that i smile too often which may unsettle the natives.

Anyways i want to ask if Germans really dont like to smile much (unless it is in bars according to her) and also have really strong pronounciations.

 

[redbaron]

They aren't generally that warm and have a lot of post-war mentality of being resilient/tough. They also expect efficiency by default. The combination is a seemingly cold, calculated and harsh culture but I don't think it's that bad.

I mean, a German friend (in Australia) once told me that I'd probably really like to live in Germany so it can't be that bad because I'm really cool :^)

 

[Pyropyro]

Hmm... maybe they just take a longer to warm up to strangers.

 

[PmjPmj]

What you describe is actually more true of the perception of us Brits, RB. Here in Europe at least.

Germans are typically seen as straight up arrogant / always needlessly contentious. Meanwhile, it's the Brits who are seen as cold, business-like and efficient. Especially with money.

The whole 'Care for a spot of polo and afternoon tea, old bean?' stereotype(s) are an American thing.

 

[Happy]

Meanwhile, it's the Brits who are seen as cold, business-like and efficient. Especially with money.

Nobody thinks that haha

 

[TheManBeyond]

yeah noticed that also here where i am atm, everyone is super uptight and have this military vibe, which is understandable because of their history, they had to hide, but u know, kind of sucks to readapt just because everyone looks at least superficially depressed
b4 everyone attacks me, i know this is not everyone, but if i notice it then it means there's at least a large part of the population that does seem to have hard life, no job, shitty payment, etc
i read recently russia has a crisis with aids, about one million infected...
while i understand all of that
i cannot behave, i don't want to, think the less u smile the smarter u are, ok, fuck off, u will keep seeing me in the streets with my headphones on, grooving to my stuff, and oh boy when the wave comes at 0;40....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ws5czt20EkM

 

[redbaron]

Meanwhile, it's the Brits who are seen as cold, business-like and efficient. Especially with money.

No.

 

[Architect]

I lived over there for multi-month stretches over a period of years for work fwiw ... partly it depends on where you are. I was in the South near Stuttgart (Black Forest area) which is fairly dour, but the Northern Germans have a sunnier disposition (the Northerners I knew complained about the Southerners, and the Southeners complained about the Schwabians, so yeah they are always complaining about somebody).

Otherwise *shrug*. If you're a lighter person it doesn't really matter. I've seen quite cheerful folks in the South too, not like they'll lock you away for smiling. Biggest thing is it'll effect you, I became more dour the longer I was there.

 

[Kuu]

Germans Brits are typically seen as straight up arrogant / always needlessly contentious. Meanwhile, it's the Brits Germans who are seen as cold, business-like and efficient. Especially with money.

Fixed that for you.

 

[Puffy]

What you describe is actually more true of the perception of us Brits, RB. Here in Europe at least.

It's the Brits who are seen as cold, business-like and efficient. Especially with money.

Anyone whose met me would agree this describes me perfectly.

 

[Pyropyro]

I lived over there for multi-month stretches over a period of years for work fwiw ... partly it depends on where you are. I was in the South near Stuttgart (Black Forest area) which is fairly dour, but the Northern Germans have a sunnier disposition (the Northerners I knew complained about the Southerners, and the Southeners complained about the Schwabians, so yeah they are always complaining about somebody).

Otherwise *shrug*. If you're a lighter person it doesn't really matter. I've seen quite cheerful folks in the South too, not like they'll lock you away for smiling. Biggest thing is it'll effect you, I became more dour the longer I was there.

Ah I see, so there's some cultural variations too.

 

[PmjPmj]

Nobody thinks that haha

The Spanish do.

 

[nanook]

As long as you don't smile about politically incorrect jokes or because you see someone smoking a joint, smiling should be safe. Above all, germans are obedient to laws, including unwritten laws, potential future laws, past laws and don't forget laws from other cultures. Perhaps imagine calling everyone Sir or Ma'm when you use the word "Sie" (formal version of you) as it's the equivalent and using this language used to be an unspoken law once, so it will remain forever, underneath whatever new law is installed on top of it, such as: "don't use formal language". We must live with a good deal of contradictions. Whatever you do, be afraid of making a mistake! Smiling could imply that you are gay, sexist, pedophile, dishonest, manipulative, use your imagination. And don't look too grumpy.

(Actually i am about as foreign in german "society" as you though, so i really don't know ...)

 

[Tannhauser]

Continental Europe is in general less smiley and kiss-assy than the rest of the world I think. Hence, I greatly enjoyed being there.

I've mostly lived in Norway, which feels kinda like this:

Spoiler

[bimgx=500]http://cdn32.sptndigital.com/sites/uk.tinypop/files/styles/image_1170x658/public/ct_series_f_primary_image/carebears_show_0.jpg?itok=hPeRON--[/bimgx]

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Anyways i want to ask if Germans really dont like to smile much (unless it is in bars according to her) and also have really strong pronounciations.

A topic ripe with stereotypes. I think you shouldn't draw too extreme conclusions from other people's subjective experiences.

People in central europe have a different business front as they go about their daily matters. So they will be more serious looking, more neat and less smiling than people in your culture perhaps. Also unless you somehow get to know them on a private basis it's becoming difficult to imagine a situation why they should smile in your presence, unless you are a comedian and politeness would dictate that they smile at your efforts.

Of course there are Germans who would smile with a comparable frequency, it's just that it's not always a standard convention there and its tiresome, plus it potentially makes the other person uneasy by placing the expectation of reciprocity and thus extending the interaction beyond what is necessary.

There's a certain cultural transition as youth enters maturity and starts earning their living that they are expected to behave more seriously and maintain a certain air of dignity about their person. Again, not everyone is equally stuck up and outwardly boring, that said, being boring is safe and time-saving, nobody bothers you more than it is necessary if you fit within the average.

Boils down to a slightly different energy spending model. Germans might be more inclined to keep brief contacts short and concise and save time=energy.