peoplesuck
is escaping
Sick, my new avatar is going to be that cutting board I destroyed my house with, as soon as I go get it. Hope you havent gotten used to this avatar
-
OK, it's on.
Women freak me out
- Thread starter peoplesuck
- Start date
peoplesuck
is escaping
What is the point in closure, I guess if it somehow was my fault I learn, and if not, well there is none, correct?
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
I always have this mentality of opposing fear, like i mentioned above. That which controls me limits me, that which limits me is bad. If this has ssuch an effect on you then you must conquer it, even if it means compartmentalizing it to oblivion.
When you discuss this topic you strengthen the connection between her and lve. You're reexperiencing the emotional state you were in through nostalgia. Re-experiencing that moment is just emulation, you're not actually progressing you're just upholding the interaction you had with them as the golden standard, the default state. That in itself will be used comparatively with other people causing you to think of these people as non-fulfilling.
I actually never got closure from the person i thought of as my true love. I think closure gives them power, because it implies you need them to participate by giving closure for you to move on. You're placing power in their hands rather than accepting the reality of things. Instead of looking an explanation for their behaviour so you can move on, accept the state of affairs and work towards moving on.
Funny enough I seen the girl I used to love yesterday in the library, we went for a casual walk in the park beside us for a 15 minute breaking, bringing up memories from the time we hung out in the park: buried a bottle at that tree, climbed that fence to get in overnight, etc. I used to be crazy for this girl, I remember I was talking to this other girl for a few weeks but when she acknowledged I was bound to her, the other girl I had been talking to just left and i briefly said goodbye, we stopped talking and later i found out it was because i seemed interested in the other girl (my previouse love) this was like 2 years after.
Anyways, to love and to loss. I think you've not accepting the loss of the past to rekindle a new love in the present.
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When you discuss this topic you strengthen the connection between her and lve. You're reexperiencing the emotional state you were in through nostalgia. Re-experiencing that moment is just emulation, you're not actually progressing you're just upholding the interaction you had with them as the golden standard, the default state. That in itself will be used comparatively with other people causing you to think of these people as non-fulfilling.
I actually never got closure from the person i thought of as my true love. I think closure gives them power, because it implies you need them to participate by giving closure for you to move on. You're placing power in their hands rather than accepting the reality of things. Instead of looking an explanation for their behaviour so you can move on, accept the state of affairs and work towards moving on.
Funny enough I seen the girl I used to love yesterday in the library, we went for a casual walk in the park beside us for a 15 minute breaking, bringing up memories from the time we hung out in the park: buried a bottle at that tree, climbed that fence to get in overnight, etc. I used to be crazy for this girl, I remember I was talking to this other girl for a few weeks but when she acknowledged I was bound to her, the other girl I had been talking to just left and i briefly said goodbye, we stopped talking and later i found out it was because i seemed interested in the other girl (my previouse love) this was like 2 years after.
Anyways, to love and to loss. I think you've not accepting the loss of the past to rekindle a new love in the present.
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peoplesuck
is escaping
I dont want closure, I dont want to know. Thats horse shit, I want to see her, thats all. Its not a good idea. A part of me really wanted to go see her. I guess this is what its like letting go of a toxic person
I agree, its time to just stop letting it be a part of me. Things should not come back to her, I need to change my circuitry and be healthy. For a minute I really thought I wanted closure and all the answers, nope, lies, all of them. Damn minds are so fucking sneaky, damn near got me too!
seriously if it where day time I would have been half way there 2 minutes ago. Im glad I finally understood myself on this. Thanks rebis, I came to a similar conclusion as you gave one.
peoplesuck
is escaping
I will take this to heart.
The amount of personal development. yo rebis, you're like the reasonable voice muffled in the background, thanks for pointing me in the right direction.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Speaking from experience, I had to go through all of this. It's really good you aren't stubborn in this context, you're just breezing through the advice everyone's giving you. It certainly took me a long time and a lot of introspection to come up with these mechanisms, while to me it seems like you're on the fasttrack course. We had to take the year course and you went for the 3 week bootcamp!
I like discussing these in a way, I'm not emotionally flustered that much anymore but it's good to reflect on these mechanisms for better emotional health. I may run into something sooner or later.
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I like discussing these in a way, I'm not emotionally flustered that much anymore but it's good to reflect on these mechanisms for better emotional health. I may run into something sooner or later.
Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
peoplesuck
is escaping
Im the guy who has failed the class twice, and now I look all intelligent, breezing through a course Ive failed too many times. Admitting things like that fucking hurts, I dont want to say" i just want to see her" because now I cannot let myself. Ive spent my whole life closed off, im ready to start listening and developing.
Yeah I can see how it would be nice to go over all the bullet points to be healthy. Whats next on the list? I know youre the professor, but it would be cool if you could tell me what my next mental breakdown will be over.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
I internalize most mental breakdowns now, or post on the forum some stream of consciousness. I've just decided I have to be strong, I don't like the idea of parasitically feeding off a partner, so I must accept myself and be stable for the sake of healthy relationships, both friends and partners. It's not that I'm not accepting I have emotions, I'm just regulating myself before approaching others.
I can't think of the last time I asked someone for advice. I will accept help but I will not anticipate it, I must try to be as independent as possible, for the sake of the relationship/friendship. I also think peope can be manipulative when they have the upper hand, like if they help you you must reciprocate, you're indebted to them. I hate feeling indebted to someone and I think I have the power to resolve things hy myself so yeah. You can trust yourself more than anyone to do anything, you are your biggest safety net.
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I can't think of the last time I asked someone for advice. I will accept help but I will not anticipate it, I must try to be as independent as possible, for the sake of the relationship/friendship. I also think peope can be manipulative when they have the upper hand, like if they help you you must reciprocate, you're indebted to them. I hate feeling indebted to someone and I think I have the power to resolve things hy myself so yeah. You can trust yourself more than anyone to do anything, you are your biggest safety net.
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peoplesuck
is escaping
You learned that your needs arent important, or that they are damaging and your making up excuses to cover that fact. consider it. or maybe you have, and you are choosing this ideology to protect yourself. I feel like I should give you some insight, I probably cant but it was worth a try. If that bothered you, let me know and I wont do that.
You know, I used to be like that. In some ways I am very much like that. These last few weeks, are pretty much the first time in my life I have asked for help, in person I wouldnt ask for help, I will suffer in silence.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Most of my breakdowns, I would preface these as light, would be an intense emotional surge about the world that's compressed into a small time frame. Like the one time I posted about the world not being real, something along those lines.
It's just an application of "I think therefore I am" I become strong because I adapt strong qualities and therefore become stronger.
It's vague, but basically I don't see any limiters to my personality, because for the most part, me (and I'd say others) csn reprogram ourselves to a large degree. It becomws less frequent when you get older but that's the premise. Very few people are born with innate strength, compassion, empathy and drive. So in light of that I try and shape my world view by reprogramming myself instead of accepting what I am innately. That which is implicit isn't inherent, it can be rejexted, moulded and altered. I think this is why so many peoplr are stuck in rucks, they're not willing to change, or even accept they can change.
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It's just an application of "I think therefore I am" I become strong because I adapt strong qualities and therefore become stronger.
It's vague, but basically I don't see any limiters to my personality, because for the most part, me (and I'd say others) csn reprogram ourselves to a large degree. It becomws less frequent when you get older but that's the premise. Very few people are born with innate strength, compassion, empathy and drive. So in light of that I try and shape my world view by reprogramming myself instead of accepting what I am innately. That which is implicit isn't inherent, it can be rejexted, moulded and altered. I think this is why so many peoplr are stuck in rucks, they're not willing to change, or even accept they can change.
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peoplesuck
is escaping
Mine too, its quite scary.
Edit on second thought I misread, im not quite like that.
I can agree with this, I just worry that you may grow old regretting the fact that you were afraid of being vulnerable. Obviously im not sure, its a thought. Im still new to the emotional states I have now, before I did not have this, I simply was, everything was matter-of-fact, no grey area with myself. Understanding how much potential you have is the first step to actualizing it.
peoplesuck
is escaping
As far as my previous posts are concerned, my date has been postponed due to a small child. Im kind of sad about it, but I couldnt have stayed up all night learning if I had gone on my date. The other day the walmart receipt checker guy tried to stop me to check my receipt(waow exciting yes) and I had my nephew, I just said "never" and kept walking. During our walk to the car my tiny nephew said, "you know why youre dog is crazy, its because youre crazy". Not only is he funny, but hes right, my dog is very slow to warm up to people, its strange how much a dog picks up from its owner.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Im not sure if im connecting dots that arent there, but it seems like no matter what it is, when bad things happen, it ALWAYS works out. Somehow someway, something good always comes from it.
Puffy
"Wtf even was that"
Amen!
The home stuff sounds pretty rough. I concur with you about moving out when you feel secure enough, it's easier to heal when you're no longer in a toxic environment.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Yes indeed lesson learned.
I need to move out, honestly. I need to grow up, stop waiting for someone else to get me to where I need to be.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
About toxic home life yeah, I don't want to upload photos but I seem more healthy and expressive in my own space.
I felt like i was postponed in development until I went to college.
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I felt like i was postponed in development until I went to college.
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peoplesuck
is escaping
Im like one week from needing to write a thank you essay to everyone who has contributed. Its crazy to think im asking people online for help, and getting help. I dont know if I would have waited so long if I actually knew there were helpful people out there. It doesnt matter, I would have been too immature to accept certain things, I wouldnt have been open enough. I feel social now, im almost a person. I wonder what the next discovery will be. Talking isnt social, its deeper, an actual interest in others and what they are saying. My damned family living and parenting teacher was right! I regret the way I talked down to her, too, she had a big heart, but she tried making me participate and I was a bit mean to her. I wonder how long until the username peoplesuck no longer fits. close, but not yet.
peoplesuck
is escaping
It amazes me anyone bothered to help, I suppose I have too little faith in my fellow people. its also funny, a counselor probably would of had a lot of trouble with me, if I could have afforded one. Im not so sure I needed to, people coming together and sharing their knowledge and experience seems to do the trick, its so natural and wholesome.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Have some culture
EndogenousRebel
Even a mean person is trying their best, right?
I feel making sense of a disarrayed past is another skill we can improve and get better at. If not this than at least time, and the weakening of your identification with your past self will help you see the past in a way that makes sense to you. It's hard to see a mess if you're in it, ya know?
It's one thing for someone else's mannerisms to rub off on you after years and years of interaction, it's another to be involved for only a short time. Don't kid yourself, your days to day life right now should have more impact than stuff that's happened a long time ago. You can make the small incremental changes day by day and by the end of the year your a fucking new person. It's easy to blame yourself for things that happen in your life, because you're the only common factor, but chances are you are not solely the one to blame.
I think framing things, especially things you wouldn't normally frame like this, in terms of learning is one of the most beneficial habits I've taken up recently. If you have trouble expressing yourself, it's because there is a particular way for you as a individual to do and learn it. Learn to express yourself, learn to listen and be interested in what others are saying. I don't know, I like the interpretation that you're dancing with yourself and just gotta learn the moves.
It's one thing for someone else's mannerisms to rub off on you after years and years of interaction, it's another to be involved for only a short time. Don't kid yourself, your days to day life right now should have more impact than stuff that's happened a long time ago. You can make the small incremental changes day by day and by the end of the year your a fucking new person. It's easy to blame yourself for things that happen in your life, because you're the only common factor, but chances are you are not solely the one to blame.
I think framing things, especially things you wouldn't normally frame like this, in terms of learning is one of the most beneficial habits I've taken up recently. If you have trouble expressing yourself, it's because there is a particular way for you as a individual to do and learn it. Learn to express yourself, learn to listen and be interested in what others are saying. I don't know, I like the interpretation that you're dancing with yourself and just gotta learn the moves.
peoplesuck
is escaping
ENTP girl being best girl
I just remembered I have acral peeling skin syndrome and I need to tell people im dating. BIG OOF. Speaking of which this is what originally ostracized me, the other kids didnt want to touch me. damn, thats how my aversion to touch actually started. I remember always wearing hoodies to cover my hands. Weird how memories like that are hidden. I barely even had it, but kids are mean.
peoplesuck
is escaping
I chose to have a serious talk with entp girl, it was going well then I said daily life doesnt satisfy all of out deeply human needs. She responded with ,like what?
HARDEST OF HARD OOOFs
why am I so fucking bad at this? Why are people so hard? people are hard. truly, they are complex and unique. I didnt think like that, now I see. rocket science is math, people are like the knife game, where you stab in between your fingers as fast as possible. You get hurt a lot, but sometimes it works out. You hit your hand many times, eventually you learn instinctually where the knife goes, things go smooth, occasionally though you still stab yourself, you are human after all.
Feeling wise RN, may rant like a 7 year old moron later.
I guess I dont need to feel stupid for failing so often, this is hard. entp girl just said she values structure and stability the highest. Part of me wants to wish her good luck finding that guy, part of me feels like that would be self destructive, part of me doesnt know if thats self destructive or honest.
I wonder if im entertaining, I think im quite comical, but thats just me. I argue with myself like a bunch of psychologists trying to diagnose someone.
nearing the end of the deep talk with entp girl, need to get to work wifing her now, shes a keeper.
HARDEST OF HARD OOOFs
why am I so fucking bad at this? Why are people so hard? people are hard. truly, they are complex and unique. I didnt think like that, now I see. rocket science is math, people are like the knife game, where you stab in between your fingers as fast as possible. You get hurt a lot, but sometimes it works out. You hit your hand many times, eventually you learn instinctually where the knife goes, things go smooth, occasionally though you still stab yourself, you are human after all.
Feeling wise RN, may rant like a 7 year old moron later.
I guess I dont need to feel stupid for failing so often, this is hard. entp girl just said she values structure and stability the highest. Part of me wants to wish her good luck finding that guy, part of me feels like that would be self destructive, part of me doesnt know if thats self destructive or honest.
I wonder if im entertaining, I think im quite comical, but thats just me. I argue with myself like a bunch of psychologists trying to diagnose someone.
nearing the end of the deep talk with entp girl, need to get to work wifing her now, shes a keeper.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Date with entp girl moved to tomorrow, this should be fun!
FUuuck entp is super pretty and shes going to dress up. this is going to be uncofortable AS fuck boi, I dont do coffee shops, and now im doin a coffee shop and talking to a pretty girl, dressed nice.
FUuuck entp is super pretty and shes going to dress up. this is going to be uncofortable AS fuck boi, I dont do coffee shops, and now im doin a coffee shop and talking to a pretty girl, dressed nice.
Puffy
"Wtf even was that"
Well if it helps at all I remember you being a pretty attractive guy from pictures of you here I remember.
A lot of attractiveness comes with self-confidence and knowing yourself. Which takes time especially when you're new to something so don't beat yourself up about it.
A lot of attractiveness comes with self-confidence and knowing yourself. Which takes time especially when you're new to something so don't beat yourself up about it.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Not sure if this is sarcasm, Im a penguin though.
Precisely how a physically attractive gent like me, is so unattractive. I think I come off as more awkward than shy, most people dont even think im shy.
Im going to meditate and what ever happens im showing up and going home.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
You picking the ENTP was an act of self destruction, it was a deliberate choice for experience.
Sounds closer to a J in terms of seeking structure, or maybe that's an ephemeral idea they've picked up.
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Sounds closer to a J in terms of seeking structure, or maybe that's an ephemeral idea they've picked up.
Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
peoplesuck
is escaping
I disagree, It will be new and scary, but not destined to fail. Later she talked about how she was more looking for someone who was kind and sensitive.
I dunno
20million years of evolution-brain- pick the prettiest one you can find
10 years of anxiety-brain- pick the ugliest one
peoplesuck
is escaping
I think I just scared her away in the last 40 minutes by making a few jokes out of the variations of the word, choose.
wow.
wow.
peoplesuck
is escaping
I intimidated her with my comedic abilities, she felt too insecure, I guess.
Jokes,yo
Jokes,yo
EndogenousRebel
Even a mean person is trying their best, right?
We don't know how you behave or act in person so we can't really give you advice on this. lol audio recordings? no. It's part of the learning process. In general I usually wait before showing them the "true true" side of me, because by some point people become at least loosely attached to each other, and won't care about many of your would be flaws. Get to know what aspect of you scares people off and try to correct that. Your doing great
peoplesuck
is escaping
welp. date with entp girl seemed great and then at the end she sorta just said lets do this agian and walked away. maybe she felt I didnt like her because I didnt kiss or hug her. oof.
When we first started talking I was sure she was autistic and overcompensating, surely nobody is that expressive? Nope as it turns out she was, she was my polar opposite in many ways. I enjoyed our date, I guess I will find out if she texts me back if she did too.
she was super cute and most of the time she sat with her head on her hands, later telling me about her knowledge of body language, she knew what she was doing.
Neat maybe I did good. I guess the very least I did.
When we first started talking I was sure she was autistic and overcompensating, surely nobody is that expressive? Nope as it turns out she was, she was my polar opposite in many ways. I enjoyed our date, I guess I will find out if she texts me back if she did too.
she was super cute and most of the time she sat with her head on her hands, later telling me about her knowledge of body language, she knew what she was doing.
Neat maybe I did good. I guess the very least I did.
peoplesuck
is escaping
I never felt nervous while we talked, eye contact felt natural and I actually felt the need to stop staring into her eyes a few times. oxytocin is best girl.
Dating is one of those things that seems scary and painful but its actually not. I have a bit more to share but im on the edge of my seat waiting for hear back from entp girl. ugh antsy, jittery, gross.
Dating is one of those things that seems scary and painful but its actually not. I have a bit more to share but im on the edge of my seat waiting for hear back from entp girl. ugh antsy, jittery, gross.
peoplesuck
is escaping
aaaannnd she did in fact need the text saying I really liked her and I forgot to show that at the end. yay, I wasnt expressing myself and I helped someone understand!
she actually likes me! progress!!!!
she actually likes me! progress!!!!
peoplesuck
is escaping
Im going to help you rb, Im going to build a time machine, travel back in time, to when you had a penis. I will steal your past self's penis, and come back to reattach it to present RB, so you can stop crying on your vagina. Tears neutralize the ph of your vagina, causing it to become basic, this not only makes you more of a basic bitch, but now your vagina is getting infected from its lack of acidity,
Wish me luck
This is a joke if you have unlocked the ban ability.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Note to self: dont go on two dates in one day. I am actually an introvert. I sort of forgot.
I made huge improvements though, the first girl I cuddled with, I was way too playful and dorky, this time I toned it down a bit too far. She said a few times she couldnt read me.
Serious question: during short lulls in the conversation, she would just stare into my eyes. She kind of said she didnt feel the need to fill silences. I thought that was neat but 20 years of social conditioning made that hard. Lots of eye contact was had.
I made huge improvements though, the first girl I cuddled with, I was way too playful and dorky, this time I toned it down a bit too far. She said a few times she couldnt read me.
Serious question: during short lulls in the conversation, she would just stare into my eyes. She kind of said she didnt feel the need to fill silences. I thought that was neat but 20 years of social conditioning made that hard. Lots of eye contact was had.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Im too eccentric no, you know how hard an alt account would be to fake?
Ill send nudes, pliz no
I have the entire internet at my disposal, how many nudes will this take rb, how many nudes to right a wrong?
do you accept gay hentai?
maybe a magnet I put in my finger?
an animal that isnt a kangaroo or koala?
peoplesuck
is escaping
at one point entp girl was telling me a story. she pointed to her arm and was talking about the ulna, I was like "thats not ur ulna", she was pre med, she corrected me
In my defense I know basic anatomy and I was nervous.
Marry me?
its sad how impressed I am with basic knowledge.
I was telling her a story about something that made me cry, she straight up roasted me with a pun. I have no words. savage.
Edit: in her defense she almost cried, before her savage pun.
Women are so normal, the second date, the girl was, clearly more anxious, she even said she was freaking out. I was dead inside after that first date though, I walked in to that second date like this:
I told a girl about a time I cried and got emotionally overwhelmed, about one month ago I wouldnt have ever considered doing that. Its cool to see myself growing, losing inhibitions, I think, Im going to develop two groups of people, the ones I know and dont know the real me, the ones that hate run on sentences, and the ones im now meeting, which are the ones learning who I really am. At some point these groups are going to mingle, and its going to be a shit show, I hope I have popcorn when it goes down.
I think it freaks people out when I talk about very emotional experiences, in a matter-of-fact way. Its very hard for me to be emotional when I explain things. Its a huge effort. thats the next chapter in my manga. The adventures of virgin man, and his manic fairy.
I wonder, could a thread like this be helpful to people who are in the position I was at the beginning? am I too weird to relate to, would anyone even try?
Im so cringey I make myself cringe, thats pretty bad, a prisoner of cringe.
I think if someone I knew found out about intpf I would lose a very important coping mechanism, It makes me wonder, what would actually happen if someone found this. OOF I think I will have to abandon intpf when I start making friends and have relationships. or maybe just a known secondary account. It looks sketchy to use a forum and not show someone what it is, so if I can show them a fake account...
My eyes are nearly black, I talked to my date about the black eye thing, she photoshopped my eyes black, my iris's are too dark to be visible. Damn, now I dont event want to. I was looking forward to that adventure, locating the man who created it, to have him perform his ungodly procedure on me.
I make very ugly laughs when im not comfortable laughing like a hooligan, I snort like a pig.
is that cute? i doubt it. I also always put my hands over my face.
Truly a smol sensitiv boi
I never thought myself as sensitive, im not sure why. I guess I have two sides, front and back.
I noticed something on my date, I absolutely never had my head straight up and down, I always had my head tilted to the side, is that curiosity or...im a dog.
According to the internet this is explanation of tilting head
"By tilting the head to the side, the person is exposing to you a vulnerable part of their body- the neck. Many canines including dogs lie down and expose their necks while confronting a more dominant canine to signal ‘defeat’, ending the fight without any physical aggression or bloodshed.
When someone tilts their head in your presence, they’re non-verbally telling you, ‘I trust you not to harm me’. Interestingly, if you tilt your head while speaking, the listener will trust your words more. This is why politicians and people at other top leadership positions that require the support of people tilt their heads frequently while addressing the masses.
This gesture is also used by a person when they’re looking at something they don’t understand, like a complex painting or a strange gadget. In this case, they’re just trying to change the angle of their eyes to get a better/different view. Keep the context in mind to figure out the correct meaning."
#$$#$reincarnation makes no sense at all, if there is some divine order, why the fuck would it make sense to us? traps are gay.
Ranting is so therapeutic, it gives you time to see your thoughts, then analyze them, then talk about traps. always time to talk about traps.
I asked my date today why every assumes im gay. She said Im very clean, neat, and hygienic. I didnt really see it that way, I think the euro look is feminine to americans. she also said the way I talk, I dont talk weird though, maybe its because im quiet? she also said I was pretty, thats a nice complement, I actually like that more than handsome, I guess that tells a lot about how I see myself.
There needs to be a word for getting your junk caught in a zipper.
GuYYYS, can we make zip off pockets a thing?? you just have one set of pockets, zip them onto the pants for that day? save so much fabric, use a bit more metal? I dunno.
Entp girl sat leaned way forward, I wasnt sure If i should have joined her and been like 8 inches from her face or not? (The table was very small) I ended up staying back in my chair, at the end I started putting my hands on the table. When we started really enjoying our banter, I learned forward and we were very close. She used a few words I havent seen before. Shes very analytical. Super honest and open, more than me for sure.
her lips are perfect, she has big eyes, very pale skin, and shes very feminine. My type of girl.
Im proud of myself, I somehow held it together without ever being super awkward. When she stared into my eyes without saying anything I felt kinda on the spot, she seemed completely calm, not sure if she expected me to just lock eyes until I had something to talk about? next time im not going to be a BITCH and im going to do that, also i have to at least hug her, she was a bit hurt that I didnt. Its so weird, I have to force myself to initiate affection, but im not averse to it, im just scared of rejection, I suppose. I hate public affection, it makes my skin crawl.
I was actually very intimidated by her, VERY. I havent ever met someone like her, her mannerisms are completely unique, I didnt even know someone could be so expressive.
She was sending attraction signals so fucking hard, If I were wearing lead armor, it still would have seeped in. I was so nervous I didnt take that in, she liked me, she was leaned forward with her head on her hands, she laughed at my jokes, the conversation flowed, albeit, chaotically, but naturally. Im excited for the next date, I feel much more confident now.
Her personality caught me so off guard, I was SHOOK
Thank the sky gods im pretty, because I feel like that is the glue holding this mess together, like, they see me being awkward and non expressive, but the cuteness keeps them talking, long enough for them to realize im interesting. I feel so bad for guys in my position that arent cute, to them, I might as well be a woman, with how comparably little effort im putting in.
things are going better than planned, but again, its only because im cute, that this isnt a total fucking drudge through tar.
@Rebis, this is why I disagreed that pursuing the entp girl being destructive. You cannot win a game if you dont participate. Half of winning is just showing up. #love laugh smile pray
I feel feverish again, how would you explain this? Is this overstimulation, am I just super introverted? I socialized for probably 6 hours today. Is it like a muscle that you can strengthen?
In my defense I know basic anatomy and I was nervous.
Marry me?
its sad how impressed I am with basic knowledge.
I was telling her a story about something that made me cry, she straight up roasted me with a pun. I have no words. savage.
Edit: in her defense she almost cried, before her savage pun.
Women are so normal, the second date, the girl was, clearly more anxious, she even said she was freaking out. I was dead inside after that first date though, I walked in to that second date like this:
I told a girl about a time I cried and got emotionally overwhelmed, about one month ago I wouldnt have ever considered doing that. Its cool to see myself growing, losing inhibitions, I think, Im going to develop two groups of people, the ones I know and dont know the real me, the ones that hate run on sentences, and the ones im now meeting, which are the ones learning who I really am. At some point these groups are going to mingle, and its going to be a shit show, I hope I have popcorn when it goes down.
I think it freaks people out when I talk about very emotional experiences, in a matter-of-fact way. Its very hard for me to be emotional when I explain things. Its a huge effort. thats the next chapter in my manga. The adventures of virgin man, and his manic fairy.
I wonder, could a thread like this be helpful to people who are in the position I was at the beginning? am I too weird to relate to, would anyone even try?
Im so cringey I make myself cringe, thats pretty bad, a prisoner of cringe.
I think if someone I knew found out about intpf I would lose a very important coping mechanism, It makes me wonder, what would actually happen if someone found this. OOF I think I will have to abandon intpf when I start making friends and have relationships. or maybe just a known secondary account. It looks sketchy to use a forum and not show someone what it is, so if I can show them a fake account...
My eyes are nearly black, I talked to my date about the black eye thing, she photoshopped my eyes black, my iris's are too dark to be visible. Damn, now I dont event want to. I was looking forward to that adventure, locating the man who created it, to have him perform his ungodly procedure on me.
I make very ugly laughs when im not comfortable laughing like a hooligan, I snort like a pig.
is that cute? i doubt it. I also always put my hands over my face.
Truly a smol sensitiv boi
I never thought myself as sensitive, im not sure why. I guess I have two sides, front and back.
I noticed something on my date, I absolutely never had my head straight up and down, I always had my head tilted to the side, is that curiosity or...im a dog.
According to the internet this is explanation of tilting head
"By tilting the head to the side, the person is exposing to you a vulnerable part of their body- the neck. Many canines including dogs lie down and expose their necks while confronting a more dominant canine to signal ‘defeat’, ending the fight without any physical aggression or bloodshed.
When someone tilts their head in your presence, they’re non-verbally telling you, ‘I trust you not to harm me’. Interestingly, if you tilt your head while speaking, the listener will trust your words more. This is why politicians and people at other top leadership positions that require the support of people tilt their heads frequently while addressing the masses.
This gesture is also used by a person when they’re looking at something they don’t understand, like a complex painting or a strange gadget. In this case, they’re just trying to change the angle of their eyes to get a better/different view. Keep the context in mind to figure out the correct meaning."
#$$#$reincarnation makes no sense at all, if there is some divine order, why the fuck would it make sense to us? traps are gay.
Ranting is so therapeutic, it gives you time to see your thoughts, then analyze them, then talk about traps. always time to talk about traps.
I asked my date today why every assumes im gay. She said Im very clean, neat, and hygienic. I didnt really see it that way, I think the euro look is feminine to americans. she also said the way I talk, I dont talk weird though, maybe its because im quiet? she also said I was pretty, thats a nice complement, I actually like that more than handsome, I guess that tells a lot about how I see myself.
There needs to be a word for getting your junk caught in a zipper.
GuYYYS, can we make zip off pockets a thing?? you just have one set of pockets, zip them onto the pants for that day? save so much fabric, use a bit more metal? I dunno.
Entp girl sat leaned way forward, I wasnt sure If i should have joined her and been like 8 inches from her face or not? (The table was very small) I ended up staying back in my chair, at the end I started putting my hands on the table. When we started really enjoying our banter, I learned forward and we were very close. She used a few words I havent seen before. Shes very analytical. Super honest and open, more than me for sure.
her lips are perfect, she has big eyes, very pale skin, and shes very feminine. My type of girl.
Im proud of myself, I somehow held it together without ever being super awkward. When she stared into my eyes without saying anything I felt kinda on the spot, she seemed completely calm, not sure if she expected me to just lock eyes until I had something to talk about? next time im not going to be a BITCH and im going to do that, also i have to at least hug her, she was a bit hurt that I didnt. Its so weird, I have to force myself to initiate affection, but im not averse to it, im just scared of rejection, I suppose. I hate public affection, it makes my skin crawl.
I was actually very intimidated by her, VERY. I havent ever met someone like her, her mannerisms are completely unique, I didnt even know someone could be so expressive.
She was sending attraction signals so fucking hard, If I were wearing lead armor, it still would have seeped in. I was so nervous I didnt take that in, she liked me, she was leaned forward with her head on her hands, she laughed at my jokes, the conversation flowed, albeit, chaotically, but naturally. Im excited for the next date, I feel much more confident now.
Her personality caught me so off guard, I was SHOOK
Thank the sky gods im pretty, because I feel like that is the glue holding this mess together, like, they see me being awkward and non expressive, but the cuteness keeps them talking, long enough for them to realize im interesting. I feel so bad for guys in my position that arent cute, to them, I might as well be a woman, with how comparably little effort im putting in.
things are going better than planned, but again, its only because im cute, that this isnt a total fucking drudge through tar.
@Rebis, this is why I disagreed that pursuing the entp girl being destructive. You cannot win a game if you dont participate. Half of winning is just showing up. #love laugh smile pray
I feel feverish again, how would you explain this? Is this overstimulation, am I just super introverted? I socialized for probably 6 hours today. Is it like a muscle that you can strengthen?
peoplesuck
is escaping
watching a movie where middle school kids google "how to kiss" realize I dont know.
I actually have to google how to kiss, as a 22 year old man, thats some shit.
Tonight I build something cool, sort of a throwback to an old youtube video I saw.
I have an ice skating date with entp girl, im excited. We shared our dating struggles, I think we have a shared empathy. wss, should be a thing. we shall see.
Last night entp girl made me realize I was going about dating wrong, like it was a quest. Do x steps and eventually some reward, meanwhile she was trying to bond with me.
Last night I was running a simulation of our date, and I imagined kissing her, and ruining my first real kiss, by focusing on all of the factors, not being present with what was happening. I dont want to miss my first kiss, that would be pretty lame. Its not right either, I think you should be present with the other person during intimate exchanges.
I asked about the eye contact thing again, she said that she felt comfortable looking into my eyes, and I felt the same way, I was too worried about being weird to just sit there and bond with her, though.
I like her strategy, but shes done bad with dating so far, so maybe I will mirror her, if it doesnt work out, play the games im expected to play.
I actually have to google how to kiss, as a 22 year old man, thats some shit.
Tonight I build something cool, sort of a throwback to an old youtube video I saw.
I have an ice skating date with entp girl, im excited. We shared our dating struggles, I think we have a shared empathy. wss, should be a thing. we shall see.
Last night entp girl made me realize I was going about dating wrong, like it was a quest. Do x steps and eventually some reward, meanwhile she was trying to bond with me.
Last night I was running a simulation of our date, and I imagined kissing her, and ruining my first real kiss, by focusing on all of the factors, not being present with what was happening. I dont want to miss my first kiss, that would be pretty lame. Its not right either, I think you should be present with the other person during intimate exchanges.
I asked about the eye contact thing again, she said that she felt comfortable looking into my eyes, and I felt the same way, I was too worried about being weird to just sit there and bond with her, though.
I like her strategy, but shes done bad with dating so far, so maybe I will mirror her, if it doesnt work out, play the games im expected to play.
peoplesuck
is escaping
I will be pretty sad if I find out I get feverish, headaches , sick, from being around someone for more than a few hours. What a silly person I am, wanting to be around someone, but it makes me sick, physically.
maybe it was just stress and as moody would say YOU ARE FINE.
I actually needed to hear that a few times, thanks g.
I noticed, I dont share anything bad about my dates, I considered it, but I realized if they found this, they would be hurt. Its ok to destroy my life by oversharing, but hurting someone's feelings isnt.
maybe it was just stress and as moody would say YOU ARE FINE.
I actually needed to hear that a few times, thanks g.
I noticed, I dont share anything bad about my dates, I considered it, but I realized if they found this, they would be hurt. Its ok to destroy my life by oversharing, but hurting someone's feelings isnt.
EndogenousRebel
Even a mean person is trying their best, right?
Let me say that there is nothing necessarily wrong with this, but it seems like you're creating a lot of this stress yourself. Would you say this is the primary focus in your life right now? I'm sure lots of people run "simulations" from time to time and while I'm not exactly sure what you specifically mean by that it shows that you're thinking a lot about this. Again you are new to this so it's probably just a temporary thing, but like the girl said your focused on goals while she just wants to get to know you. Goals you're trying to accomplish live within the realm of time constraints, what if you died tomorrow? It's about the journey not the destination, ya know?
Ik it's easy to say this but all this pressure (I'm assuming you are under) is unnecessary. Dating is to get an idea of compatibility, and you're a few dates in, no? You will at some point get comfortable around this person and if she is right for you then, you will be fine letting your guard down, because you feel like this person accepts you. You ideally will look forward to meeting this person and encounters with them will be energizing if anything.
Those are just my thoughts on the matter.
Ik it's easy to say this but all this pressure (I'm assuming you are under) is unnecessary. Dating is to get an idea of compatibility, and you're a few dates in, no? You will at some point get comfortable around this person and if she is right for you then, you will be fine letting your guard down, because you feel like this person accepts you. You ideally will look forward to meeting this person and encounters with them will be energizing if anything.
Those are just my thoughts on the matter.
peoplesuck
is escaping
OOOF date 2
we spent 5 hours talking and I left her with nothing but a hug.
WHY IS SHOWING ATTRACTION SO HARD
omg im pretty sure she was hurt, she seemed kinda upset, sad, jokey
Im so pissed with myself
I dont know how bad this is, 2 dats and all she has is a hug, no holding hands, no kissing, no hand on a thigh
AHHHHH.I am displeased with myself.
I think I have internalized all the horror stories of guys flirting and being sexual, but I only hear the bad ones. I somehow think that its perverted to be sexual, at all. ITs terrible, its so hard to do anything, because I feel like im going to scare her away, at the same time I dont want her to get bored or feel unappreciated
Im making a grown ass man pact to myself, RIINOW.
next date, im making moves. even if they are bitch moves, MOVES WILL BE MADE FOR THE FUCK OF SAKES.
On a positive side note, we have been having talks Ive been desperate for my whole life, deep, personal, meaningful. Also we both like very dark humor. She was helping me out, scooting closer and sitting facing me. She makes me comfortable, I want her to feel appreciated. We laughed like a bunch of fools for a solid 4 hours. My throat hurts. I feel that we get along very well for two very different people. At the end of this date it wasnt an effort, or a dance, I was just enjoying her company. Id like to do that again, if the universe is feeling generous, hmu
she said when I tell stories they basically have no ending, weird but true. I feel like this time we werent worried about each others weird quirks, we just sorta hit it off.
we spent 5 hours talking and I left her with nothing but a hug.
WHY IS SHOWING ATTRACTION SO HARD
omg im pretty sure she was hurt, she seemed kinda upset, sad, jokey
Im so pissed with myself
I dont know how bad this is, 2 dats and all she has is a hug, no holding hands, no kissing, no hand on a thigh
AHHHHH.I am displeased with myself.
I think I have internalized all the horror stories of guys flirting and being sexual, but I only hear the bad ones. I somehow think that its perverted to be sexual, at all. ITs terrible, its so hard to do anything, because I feel like im going to scare her away, at the same time I dont want her to get bored or feel unappreciated
Im making a grown ass man pact to myself, RIINOW.
next date, im making moves. even if they are bitch moves, MOVES WILL BE MADE FOR THE FUCK OF SAKES.
On a positive side note, we have been having talks Ive been desperate for my whole life, deep, personal, meaningful. Also we both like very dark humor. She was helping me out, scooting closer and sitting facing me. She makes me comfortable, I want her to feel appreciated. We laughed like a bunch of fools for a solid 4 hours. My throat hurts. I feel that we get along very well for two very different people. At the end of this date it wasnt an effort, or a dance, I was just enjoying her company. Id like to do that again, if the universe is feeling generous, hmu
she said when I tell stories they basically have no ending, weird but true. I feel like this time we werent worried about each others weird quirks, we just sorta hit it off.
peoplesuck
is escaping
This is the primary focus of my life right now, yes.
You are right, I think, that I think im so weird that I have to reign it in, and im not socializing, im playing a role, acting, ugh gross.
if I died tomorrow I wouldnt know, but if I did, I would have regretted not kissing her tonight, we hugged and she closed her eyes and parted her lips, she was expecting more, and I wanted to give her more. Its like im running on a program that wont let me break the fucking rules, its maddening.
Unfortunately, I do have another "social hangover" but this time its not bad at all, probably because I was up until 3am talking with her, then got up early to build my shitty music box, that I am indeed proud of.
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed our day together, I just wish I had made a few moves. In my defense I gave her a highfive, and a hug. Fucking man dude bro, can in fact, high five bitches.
One cool thing about her is that she reminds me what other people my age are doing, reminding me to get my shit together, be a person.
I begin my journey to becoming a person tomorrow, im too tired right now.
I think I may be way more social, I just havent ever gotten a chance, to really try it. I would like friends, people to hang out with, share my thoughts with. Im going to ghost you guys so hard after I get my shit together and write each person an individualized, thank you.
NAHHH ill come back, cmon I always do.
Entp girl makes me feel like a part of the room, like im not alone, like I belong, how sweet, Im pretty sure, based off reasonable speculation, this will end badly, but I will learn, grow, LIVE.
YEET, DO I SOUND LIKE A BLEEDING HEART YET. im thirteen and this is deeeeeep
Id like to have a part in her life, all I can really do is my best.
Always awkward when a girl tells you, how you arent like any other guy she has dated, like cool im not your type but youre trying? I DUNNO BUT I MUST SLEEP.
HAPPY christmas you bastards
peoplesuck
is escaping
Only the second date and she called me a mom. THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS.
moody
Well-Known Member
- Local time
- Today 2:51 PM
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- Dec 15, 2018
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probably both
Girls are like that. Passive aggressive to the max.
That could have been taken as offensive by some girls.
That would defiantly offended her.
This is my inner-INTJ coming out now, because I think I can see the situation clearly enough to become judgmental:
This is victim talk. Everything you've said about whats happened between you and that teacher, from my perspective, was her fault. Every step of the way. I think most everyone else would agree with me.
She was the adult/older person. It is impossible to have a relationship as equals between a teacher and a student, the adult will always have the leverage. I don't know her, she's probably not some evil person, but she wronged you.
She took advantage of you. You hadn't have close relations before, and whether she knew what she was doing or not, she took advantage of that.
I can't tell you whether or not it would be a good idea to seek her out. I think that's really up to you. I've not been in a situation like yours, and even other people who have would all feel differently. If you feel the need for closure, I'd say go for it.
I don't think you can ever predict how closure will go. I'll use an example of my own:
I had a really close friend in middle school who went to a different high school. (We were extremely close; always finishing each others sentences when talking to someone else, and attached-at-the-hip). I loved them as much as you could platonically love a friend. For the first couple of years afterwards, we stayed close, and were in frequent contact. It slowly degraded to talking less and less, and then I'd see that they'd volunteer less and less information. Later in high school I started having a rough time medically (unbeknownst to me) and with living situations, so my self-esteem and anxiety got the better of me. I started instigating conversations less and less, because they would always wait for me to do it anyway. I still think it was mainly their awkwardness that made us loose friendship (considering I've been able to avoid that with the rest of my old/childhood friends).
For a while throughout that, I felt very resentful about the situation. I felt like I was trying so hard to remain friends, but they just didn't care enough to have the extra thought. I still check up on them every now and then to make sure they're okay, and a while ago I face-timed them. It was the first time in about five years I'd talked to them face-to-face. At first I was excited about it, but as I talked to them, all those feelings of self-conscious "I'm just bugging them" and despirately trying to keep their interest in a conversation started coming back. I realized that I'd gotten really hurt getting sidelined so much, and that I just wouldn't be okay with being their friend again because of that "shut-out."
I realize this is completely different that your situation, but talking to them face-to-face again helped me validate my own feelings on the matter. I've not felt completely resentful about how I friendship ended since then, because I've gotten proof of my feelings. The person they used to be was my best friend. The person they are is just another person I wouldn't bend over backwards for anymore.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Moody I will get back to you, but I did gooooood
as it turns out progress feels like very sore nuts. Im running at about 12k psi right about now, it hurts baadly.
entp girl is best girl, we seem to have the same weird calming affect on each other.
She at one point switched cuddle positions because she was getting wet LOL, I felt it but as a straight male, IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
OHHHH and I kissed her, like 4 times. YEYAAAas prooogres bois.
I didnt think about it, I was present, it was naic.
I almost left at 4am, because my nuts hurt so bad it feels like Ive been stabbed. MANNED through that pain like a fucking champ.
Also I accidentally kept her up all night, I cannot sleep in a room above 60f by myself, so with her, Well she called me a furnace multiple times.
I like her honesty, we talked about things most people wouldnt. she called me thick, because I dont pick up on sexual queues, at on point I confused the term " jumping your bones" with some kind of negative, conflictual meaning. She corrected me that that wasnt what she meant. entp girl is not scared to tell it how it is, apparently.
kewl, im in that boat.
we had deep talks, for some reason, once we started touching, I didnt want to stop caressing her, it was like a self soothing behavior. She thought it was great though.
HUGE SHOUTOUT TO ROGAINE, without rogaine I would have turned her mattress into a fucking water bed, stopped taking it though, its affecting my sex drive and organs negatively, great for first dates, and no so great for performing.
She told me certain things that make her very uncomfortable, dont make her feel that way, when I do it, or when its with me. I wonder why that is.
as it turns out progress feels like very sore nuts. Im running at about 12k psi right about now, it hurts baadly.
entp girl is best girl, we seem to have the same weird calming affect on each other.
She at one point switched cuddle positions because she was getting wet LOL, I felt it but as a straight male, IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
OHHHH and I kissed her, like 4 times. YEYAAAas prooogres bois.
I didnt think about it, I was present, it was naic.
I almost left at 4am, because my nuts hurt so bad it feels like Ive been stabbed. MANNED through that pain like a fucking champ.
Also I accidentally kept her up all night, I cannot sleep in a room above 60f by myself, so with her, Well she called me a furnace multiple times.
I like her honesty, we talked about things most people wouldnt. she called me thick, because I dont pick up on sexual queues, at on point I confused the term " jumping your bones" with some kind of negative, conflictual meaning. She corrected me that that wasnt what she meant. entp girl is not scared to tell it how it is, apparently.
kewl, im in that boat.
we had deep talks, for some reason, once we started touching, I didnt want to stop caressing her, it was like a self soothing behavior. She thought it was great though.
HUGE SHOUTOUT TO ROGAINE, without rogaine I would have turned her mattress into a fucking water bed, stopped taking it though, its affecting my sex drive and organs negatively, great for first dates, and no so great for performing.
She told me certain things that make her very uncomfortable, dont make her feel that way, when I do it, or when its with me. I wonder why that is.
peoplesuck
is escaping
When I first made this thread, I had no experience, I was at zero. I have now made some progress, I dont want to let this thread become gossip, or just sharing, I want this thread to stay with important things, not just stories.
If I stray away from actually accomplishing something with this thread, let me know.
Im not sure what it says about me, but once I started caressing her, and she expressed that she liked it, I didnt stop. Im not sure if im an empath, but I get the same pleasure from soothing someone else. I got fucking mom genes, and im really seeing it come out.
Social hangover, yet again, this appears to be me. We talked and touched for 11 hours straight, maybe that would cause anyone to feel exhausted?
She helped me realize something, Im not a quiet person, im simply soft spoken.
We had been cuddling for about 4 hours when she told me it was up to me if I stayed the night. I didnt want to, I knew i wouldnt be able to sleep and it would be new, But knowing I didnt want to, I decided I should, for personal growth. I wanted to, but I didnt want to keep her up, as she had work very early. I was apologizing for keeping her up and she told me she was glad, something along the lines of "If youre staying up all night, you know your doing something interesting, important". Shes good at making me feel comfortable, according to her I was doing everything right, she was shocked when I asked "is this ok", she told me I seem to know what im doing, by the end she got a good picture of the fact that I was winging it.
Also rubbing your face against someone is super sexual? woops. She is comfortable, like a hoodie, everything fits right and its cozy. I dont feel like an alien when im with her, im just one of the humans.
entp girl is best girl.
If I stray away from actually accomplishing something with this thread, let me know.
Im not sure what it says about me, but once I started caressing her, and she expressed that she liked it, I didnt stop. Im not sure if im an empath, but I get the same pleasure from soothing someone else. I got fucking mom genes, and im really seeing it come out.
Social hangover, yet again, this appears to be me. We talked and touched for 11 hours straight, maybe that would cause anyone to feel exhausted?
She helped me realize something, Im not a quiet person, im simply soft spoken.
We had been cuddling for about 4 hours when she told me it was up to me if I stayed the night. I didnt want to, I knew i wouldnt be able to sleep and it would be new, But knowing I didnt want to, I decided I should, for personal growth. I wanted to, but I didnt want to keep her up, as she had work very early. I was apologizing for keeping her up and she told me she was glad, something along the lines of "If youre staying up all night, you know your doing something interesting, important". Shes good at making me feel comfortable, according to her I was doing everything right, she was shocked when I asked "is this ok", she told me I seem to know what im doing, by the end she got a good picture of the fact that I was winging it.
Also rubbing your face against someone is super sexual? woops. She is comfortable, like a hoodie, everything fits right and its cozy. I dont feel like an alien when im with her, im just one of the humans.
entp girl is best girl.