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Women freak me out

peoplesuck

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I google searched it and couldn't find anything substantial. It makes me extremely uncomfortable to be around women, dumpster fire or beautiful. I avoid women as much as I can, i'm sort of terrified of them. I don't feel fear, but they make me so ungodly uncomfortable I just avoid them. What causes this? From a very young age I always avoided the girls, but in high school I had a good female friend. I was never bullied by girls from what i can remember, slight sexual harassment in middle school but thats it. They were super flirty/handsy with me since I didn't react to them. I wouldn't think that would cause what i'm dealing with, its been this way since I was like 10. One time I had to sit next to a girl in biology and she was very attractive, I actually was on the verge/having a panic attack when I left the room, I sat in the hall listening to my heartbeat in my ear for an hour. unfortunately thats not a joke, sitting next to people freaks me out too. I made it through high school doing my work outside of class...so yeah
I just decided this was a problem so i'm asking for help.
 

Cognisant

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Would it be accurate to say you're afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of one woman and having news of that event go through the grapevine until it becomes the one thing everyone knows about you? Honestly people just don't care, they're all far too busy being insecure about themselves to remember any trivial faux pas you may have committed.

Also as a young man you're at a point in your life where your libido is at its highest which is incredible distracting and you might be concerned that women might read your micro-expressions and body language giving them an insight into the perverted thoughts that rise unbidden in your mind, especially when you're near someone you find attractive.

Rest assured we're all perverts, they're not going to think you're a freak if they catch you looking or acting flustered or notice a half-mast bulge, every guy goes through the same ordeal and I think most women are if anything flattered, y'know so long as you don't actually act like a creep.

Am I ever glad I'm not a teenager anymore :D
 

peoplesuck

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I think I do have some phobia of being though of as a creep, but I dont know why or where it came from. Its odd how I never tried to figure out or fix this, its been this way so long I accepted it. Like I said its been this way since I was in middle school, nothing new. In high school I stopped trying to fit in and did my own thing, maybe I feel like a weirdo since I stopped trying to be a part of the group. I actually have unintentionally rewired myself to avoid being normal if it means changing myself in the slightest. Gee i really dont know but it would be cool if I could afford a therapist. maybe in 5 years I will remember some even i repressed that fcked me up for life. The only thing I can think of is my ease of achieving...full mast shall we say, maybe that is subconsciously killing me. I just dont buy that though, I have always been an outsider, even when we were learning to read in school, I remember reading at recess while the normal kids played, or I walked the track by myself. maybe i have something majorly wrong with me. I think because I consciously know im different that makes me uncomfortable since im supposed to "win over" women, and boy oh boy do I fail to woo anyone. maybe im aware at how low my "market value" is so I just feel terrible? Ive been hoping I would wake up one day and realize im gay or something but it hasnt happened yet. Its probably not healthy to take antidepressants in the place of human contact, so im trying to fix myself. right now. at this point it feels so helpless I dont even want to try, I feel I should accept im going to die alone, I cant even acheive the one thing genetics is supposed to do, make a social human ffs how even am i this dysfunctional. The hilarious part is im not a timid person, im really not scared of anything, women are the bane of my existence.
 

Adaire

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About 80% of women are host to a lamprey like alien parasite that, when opportunity arises and hunger coincides, will burst from their skin and drain the nearest lone male of all bodily fluids and then collect their teeth.

You just have a highly intuitive sense for danger.

btw ZZyxxcrat says hi. ;)
 

peoplesuck

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btw ZZyxxcrat says hi. ;)
Am i supposed to know who or what that is
atleast in 2050 I will be the only person without herpes, maybe by then stds will become deadly and I can finally live in the apocalypse I want
 

Serac

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If they make you nervous there must be something pertaining to them that you care immensely about. What is that?
 

peoplesuck

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maybe I want to be accepted but know I wont be so I just have a nervous breakdown? I genuinely dont know
 

peoplesuck

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no I really dont trust myself enough to do that. The violent side of me might be the dominant side of me if I didnt control it.
 

Adaire

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Zzyxxcrat is my man eating alien parasite. They live where my pancreas and liver used to be. Oh the lost subtleties of text.
 

Rebis

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no I really dont trust myself enough to do that. The violent side of me might be the dominant side of me if I didnt control it.
You have to get durnked'd sometime.

Idk about your violent tendencies, but you can be assured you'll have an artificial confidence boost in terms of sedation.
 

peoplesuck

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Im actually going to the doctor today to get drugs so its probably going to be ok, I was hell bent on fixing myself through willpower and healing, but im done with that now. Not going to beat around the bush talking about being lethargic and sad, im just going to be really honest this time.
Zzyxxcrat is my man eating alien parasite. They live where my pancreas and liver used to be. Oh the lost subtleties of text.
You actually came to a serious thread about mental illness just to make jokes?
 

Rebis

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Im actually going to the doctor today to get drugs so its probably going to be ok, I was hell bent on fixing myself through willpower and healing, but im done with that now. Not going to beat around the bush talking about being lethargic and sad, im just going to be really honest this time.
Zzyxxcrat is my man eating alien parasite. They live where my pancreas and liver used to be. Oh the lost subtleties of text.
You actually came to a serious thread about mental illness just to make jokes?
I can't imagine what drugs you would take to resolve that problem, bar anxiolytics but I mean it doesn't seem like generalised anxiety.

Everyone uses humour differently, don't take sensitively to it. You might deal with a lot of problems where humour and self-deprecation is your guide.
 

Cognisant

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You actually came to a serious thread about mental illness just to make jokes?
Ignore Adaire's obvious lies the inter-dimensional parasites don't feed on fluids but rather humors, hence why married men (fathers in particular) tell such terrible jokes and why women just aren't funny.
 

Rebis

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Ugh I hate parasites, too parasitic for my taste. Lil blood suckas.
 

peoplesuck

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so I wanna fucking die but my food is done so I have that going for me.
 

Rebis

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Awesome, let's get some bread bois.
 

EndogenousRebel

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Females are the gatekeepers of the gene pool. Them rejecting you akin to them saying your genes aren't worth spreading. Men could get turned on by a donut, women, most of them have standards and don't want to date anyone they perceive as below them (most people don't I guess). They judge people by design, because evolutionary speaking they are the ones that are more at risk. Everyone knows generalizations are true so c'mon. Get fucking shitfaced it's the only solution
 

Rebis

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Females are the gatekeepers of the gene pool. Them rejecting you akin to them saying your genes aren't worth spreading. Men could get turned on by a donut, women, most of them have standards and don't want to date anyone they perceive as below them (most people don't I guess). They judge people by design, because evolutionary speaking they are the ones that are more at risk. Everyone knows generalizations are true so c'mon. Get fucking shitfaced it's the only solution
The start was oof, but you had me at the ending haha
 

Rebis

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The possibilities in space-time are endless, though I suggest a club or a house. Or a street (it's common over here).
 

peoplesuck

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i will be ok dying alone its cool. clubs have people and they are going to look at me and talk loud. seriously though I havent even been to a party. maybe I need sketchers and white socks with loose fitting blue jeans. accept the virginity
 

peoplesuck

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ah shit I got it, I can take birth control until im bi, double my odds of success. and they called me retarde, litttl did thye nowk
 

Rebis

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i will be ok dying alone its cool. clubs have people and they are going to look at me and talk loud. seriously though I havent even been to a party. maybe I need sketchers and white socks with loose fitting blue jeans. accept the virginity
Gotta try it dude, it definitely made socialising 100 times easier for me.

You can't analyse a drunk environment because if you get drunk enough you're not self-aware. It's like you forget who you are, as a person. It's like an ego-death so no anxiety, at least for me, depending on the stage of drunkness.

Virginity isn't a big thing, it's just a right of passage. I parallel it to turning 18: Beforehand, you had to get adults to go in and buy your alcohol. Once you get your ID, the mystique and thrill of sneaking into clubs and such is not taboo. Same with virginity.

I think there's cultural differences over here, like the UK has the biggest rate of binge drinking in europe I believe. I think the rate was 51.2 drinking sessions per year (52 weeks). A decent portion of people had their first drink at 13, 14, it's fucked up I know. Thankfully I didn't drink until I was 17.
 

EndogenousRebel

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Drink responsibly, if you don't have prior experience and you go head first into it you're liable to black out.
 

peoplesuck

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If only I had some kind of normal youth, and any of this normie stuff came naturally. I must be autistic, but I will give it a go. I will get drunk tonight and test it out, I have only been a little tipsy before.
 

Rebis

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Drink responsibly, if you don't have prior experience and you go head first into it you're liable to black out.
For some weird reason, the first time I drunk I didn't black out at all. I drunk a litre of vodka and barely felt drunk, it was a very strange first time. Wouldn't work so easily nowadays.
 

peoplesuck

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just for laughs ive never held hands with a girl and I have only kissed one girl, the way you kiss your grandma. everyone looks at me funny when they found out that stuff, because im decent looking xD surprise mf
 

Rebis

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Grab it by the balls, get drunk talk to attractive girl and see where it goes.

Not being Chaddish but if you don't use your good looks to go for an attractive girl you'll be behind your peers. What can happen is you'll have low self-esteem in the future, combined with your need to express yourself sexually and you'll go out with someone way below your standards just to get the fuck.



Either experiment now, or go for someone that isn't attractive in the future just to get your "i had sex" badge.

And yes, you have the looks, Good looking luscious hair and a derpey but cute smile, use it to your advantage my friend.
 

peoplesuck

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how does going to a club work, do you get drunk and start hitting on girls and if so how do you get home by yourself? I also look like im 17 this is going to suckass
 

EndogenousRebel

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I remember taking 11 shots of vodka (absolute garbage), then blacking out, supposedly I took 2 more. Supposedly there was a time where I was talking to someone who had long left the party. I wonder what it was about.

Drink to find your limits if anything is my point. Alcohol, or really any drug takes on average 45 minutes to get to your liver. So once you feel drunk enough, take precautions between 45-60 minutes to see if you can handle more. I'm writing this just in case, I doubt you will want to drink that much.

I don't have much experience with clubs and am awkward myself I can't help you with this, but since you're drunk and apparently good looking, you should be fine, be safe, don't wanna catch an STD
 

Rebis

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how does going to a club work, do you get drunk and start hitting on girls and if so how do you get home by yourself?
Well I usually done it through a group of friends, but really go out with a few people, get drunk have a dance, maybe go to the smoking area and talk to a girl. Basically if you get very drunk it's an effective SSRI so you're smiling and feel euphoric, when someone sees someone smiling in the alcohol-induced state they'll say hi naturally.

If it's by yourself I suggest the dance floor, if you're with friends who smoke (I don't personally) I usually go out with them so you can talk to people for 5+ minutes.

I mean it's hard to describe because it's organic for me, I don't plan to talk to girls I just get drunk and it happens. Take the risk and find out what happens after, that's the best exploration you can do.

I don't know how I get home, sometimes I don't. Taxi or walk, I'm quite a tall guy so I've never been jumped on my way home, I walked 4 hours once after a party at 3am.
 

peoplesuck

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I guess it will be interesting to see how I do considering I dress very euro... and the only club near me is "country honky tonk".
 

Adaire

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You actually came to a serious thread about mental illness just to make jokes?
.....maybe
You're not going to find legitimate psychologic therapy here, so really, what else is there to do?

ok ok. You called me out so I'll try.... try... some good faith

It's not fair to expect other people to carry your emotional baggage. So maybe don't pin all your existential hopes and dread on fulfilling your genetic imperative some poor lady or gentleman you pick up at a bar.

There's lots of shit out there in the world. Pick something, literally anything, to care about. If you have any existing relationships that you're neglecting, maybe go do something nice for them. You don't get returns on investments you don't make and pussy ain't everything dearie.
 

peoplesuck

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You actually came to a serious thread about mental illness just to make jokes?
.....maybe
You're not going to find legitimate psychologic therapy here, so really, what else is there to do?

ok ok. You called me out so I'll try.... try... some good faith

It's not fair to expect other people to carry your emotional baggage. So maybe don't pin all your existential hopes and dread on fulfilling your genetic imperative some poor lady or gentleman you pick up at a bar.

There's lots of shit out there in the world. Pick something, literally anything, to care about. If you have any existing relationships that you're neglecting, maybe go do something nice for them. You don't get returns on investments you don't make and pussy ain't everything dearie.
see that didnt hurt THAT much did it?
This is stuff to keep in mind. I have actually made the mistake of looking to someone for my happiness and problems, nearly died from that. considering where I am though I think anything that helps me fit in is probably in my best interest, im in more need for a relationship than to nurture one, Im not planning on finding a club rat and proposing, I just need to socialize at this point. experience being human for 10 minutes, maybe even have fun. I never considered the possibility of waking up in a guys bed, that would ruin my morning for sure.
 

Tenacity

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About 80% of women are host to a lamprey like alien parasite that, when opportunity arises and hunger coincides, will burst from their skin and drain the nearest lone male of all bodily fluids and then collect their teeth.

You just have a highly intuitive sense for danger.

btw ZZyxxcrat says hi. ;)
@peoplesuck ^This is accurate

The other 20% is up for you to find out but compliments are nice

If I'm at a bar/club I'm terrible at talking to people by striking up conversation so only extraverts ever manage to talk to me

Basic stuff works I think:
"Can I get you a drink"
"You're pretty"
"You're gorgeous"
-Other compliment-

If they leave to go to the bathroom don't follow them, 50% chance it means they weren't interested, 50% chance they actually had to use the bathroom and will come back

I like to match with people on apps first so an actual conversation is guaranteed

If you're not used to rejection prep your mind for the case it could happen and tell yourself you can shake it off

Only once did I hit on a guy at a club and he was with his girlfriend so I was like oh oops it was sad times, never tried again
 

EndogenousRebel

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getting drunk will solve absolutely nothing.
It'll give him the balls to go for it. Granted, not due to added boldness, but rather stupidity, but it's a fair trade off if he's ever going use it for exposure therapy.
 

Rebis

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getting drunk will solve absolutely nothing.
10 Bottles of gin later, Serac is still horrified of the "Wamens".

Also, does your character accurately represent Dr. Schultz? He's one of my favourites.
 

Hadoblado

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Would it be accurate to say you're afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of one woman and having news of that event go through the grapevine until it becomes the one thing everyone knows about you? Honestly people just don't care, they're all far too busy being insecure about themselves to remember any trivial faux pas you may have committed.

Also as a young man you're at a point in your life where your libido is at its highest which is incredible distracting and you might be concerned that women might read your micro-expressions and body language giving them an insight into the perverted thoughts that rise unbidden in your mind, especially when you're near someone you find attractive.

Rest assured we're all perverts, they're not going to think you're a freak if they catch you looking or acting flustered or notice a half-mast bulge, every guy goes through the same ordeal and I think most women are if anything flattered, y'know so long as you don't actually act like a creep.

Am I ever glad I'm not a teenager anymore :D
I think I do have some phobia of being though of as a creep, but I dont know why or where it came from. Its odd how I never tried to figure out or fix this, its been this way so long I accepted it. Like I said its been this way since I was in middle school, nothing new. In high school I stopped trying to fit in and did my own thing, maybe I feel like a weirdo since I stopped trying to be a part of the group. I actually have unintentionally rewired myself to avoid being normal if it means changing myself in the slightest. Gee i really dont know but it would be cool if I could afford a therapist. maybe in 5 years I will remember some even i repressed that fcked me up for life. The only thing I can think of is my ease of achieving...full mast shall we say, maybe that is subconsciously killing me. I just dont buy that though, I have always been an outsider, even when we were learning to read in school, I remember reading at recess while the normal kids played, or I walked the track by myself. maybe i have something majorly wrong with me. I think because I consciously know im different that makes me uncomfortable since im supposed to "win over" women, and boy oh boy do I fail to woo anyone. maybe im aware at how low my "market value" is so I just feel terrible? Ive been hoping I would wake up one day and realize im gay or something but it hasnt happened yet. Its probably not healthy to take antidepressants in the place of human contact, so im trying to fix myself. right now. at this point it feels so helpless I dont even want to try, I feel I should accept im going to die alone, I cant even acheive the one thing genetics is supposed to do, make a social human ffs how even am i this dysfunctional. The hilarious part is im not a timid person, im really not scared of anything, women are the bane of my existence.
It sounds like social anxiety disorder? I'd got to a shrink and see what they think.

Drinking can ease mild anxiety temporarily, but unless you've learned how to handle yourself you're likely going to go and fuck up in the most regrettable ways. People are idiots when they first start drinking - if you don't get it out of the way when you're young and the expectations are low, you're not likely to experience social improvements at all. You're risking big for unlikely small gains.
 

Rebis

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I hope he had a good time, no regretz.

Sent from my H3113 using Tapatalk
 

peoplesuck

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So at best its exposure therapy and at worst It could make my life worse. I will take it slow and see how it goes. I have made myself sound like a complete basket case, im probably not as crazy as Ive made myself seem. Hado where I live anything regarding mental health is outrageously expensive, off the table. unless I want to become the most stable homeless person on the street. (assuming they fixed me first go)
I have made the mistake of watching a bunch of documentaries about loneliness and suicide along with threads on the forum reminding me of my issues, and just general intrusive thoughts and nothing to do with myself has made me kinda crazy
 

moody

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Youre not crazy, just being self conscious to a fault.
The more you get wrapped up about yourself in a situation, the more likely you’ll end up missing something in an interaction. Try to stop thinking about yourself in the next interaction you have with a girl.

And is it women, or is it intimacy that you fear? Beacause from what you’ve said, it seems as thought yout avoid most close relations, regardless of gender.
 

Kormak

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so I get drunk thats cool, but where ?
XD yeah man, get drunk, hit on women, end up in court with her saying you raped her with your gaze XDDDD

^^ dude, just find one that doesen't freak you out that much and ask her on a date... e_e if she refuses find another and another and keep going till you are comfortable.
You have to get used to women. its that simple. getting drunk and doing something stupid can land you 5 years in jail with rape accusation. Avoid.

Being afraid of them makes sense, because in olden times rejection meant you'd be fucked, because acess to the pusi was limited. ^^ but now, you have acess to the ocean and all the female fish you can catch. So its time to realize that this primal fear is no longer logical, thus exposure therapy. Have fun, don't date crazy feminists tho, you'll end up in jail. (not joking here)

The secret to getting da pusi: confidence. e_e yeah, its that simple.

Once you get over all of this and get through a longer relationship... you'll avoid women for completely different reasons: hysterics, lack of logic, drama and fear of losing the magic yet again 3 years into yet another shitty relationship that ends in you waking up one day in cold sweat hellbent on telling her "\o/ I'm out bitych! Find some opther fool!"

10 Bottles of gin later, Serac is still horrified of the "Wamens".

Also, does your character accurately represent Dr. Schultz? He's one of my favourites.

he..hehehehe _ VODKA!

 

redbaron

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they're just people
 

peoplesuck

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I TREIED drining 2 12^ bogtles of wine NS I JUAR=ST THEW UP 4 TIKES AND TRIED TO GET UP ROLLING AROUND IN MY PUKE, \TJHTHIS SUCKS. U FEEK KUJE U GIT HUT BY A TRCK
 

Kormak

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I THREW UP ON MY ONLY BLANEKETS.
e_e thats because you are drinking shitty not home made alkohol, try my personal brews.
^^; I make everything ye need my man, wine, mead, beer, vodka, liquor.
XD free wine if ye help me redesign the vineyard, to improve grape production this spring.

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