Female INTPs

[Perseus]

Cruelty exists. Not always female.

 

[Melkor]

Umm..female Intps?


Well...they're like Intps...only female, aren't they?

Hahaaa..

I think as females they might inclined to be a little more judging (correct me if I'm wrong but ladies often have stronger morals) and perhaps also a little more feeling(what with the motherly side) than most male Intps.

Of course, what with our weird awkwardness, us Intp's liek to ignore gender roles...

right?

 

[krisa]

i'm not judging.. at all and feeling - neither(i guess it's to soon or what). but I do ignore gender roles a lot and without guilt send my boyfriend to go and be a housewife..em..househusband ;>

 

[grey matters]

But...
If we put an end to normalcy,
then abnormalcy would become normalcy.
So, then INTP's would have to find a way to be abnormal
and then we would be ostracised again
and subject ourselves to faking normalcy,
which would make us bitter and solitary once more,
from which we would rise up and abolish normalcy,
making abnormal, normal...
O, the forever search for Acceptance of the Who-We-Is,
the Holy Grail of INTP's,
rumoured to be kept in a castle somewhere on the French outback
protected by Frenchmens who rail insults at our INTP Ki-ni-gits
and who fart in our general direction
and who tell us to go away or they shall taunt us a second time.
Shall we ever find solace and peace?
Shall others ever see us as the demiurges we truly are?
Shall Acceptance forever elude our feeble grasp?!







You are right about the normalcy thing. How about we modify the world to suit our preferences but, in order to satisfy the need to be unique, have clear designated areas for abnormalicy? Wait...that wouldn't work out so well either. Crap! what is an INTP to do?

 

[eudemonia]

Umm..female Intps?


Well...they're like Intps...only female, aren't they?

Hahaaa..

I think as females they might inclined to be a little more judging (correct me if I'm wrong but ladies often have stronger morals) and perhaps also a little more feeling(what with the motherly side) than most male Intps.

Of course, what with our weird awkwardness, us Intp's liek to ignore gender roles...

right?

I smiled at this Yep on both accounts. Partly its because gender roles have brought out F qualities in me but the Jness has always been around nagging me - a real nuisance sometimes, though it never helps me get things done. Its funny, as it makes me feel sometimes as if I'm in no-man's land.

 

[Waterstiller]

Down with normalcy!

(says the queer)

 

[Ermine]

Umm..female Intps?


Well...they're like Intps...only female, aren't they?

Hahaaa..

I think as females they might inclined to be a little more judging (correct me if I'm wrong but ladies often have stronger morals) and perhaps also a little more feeling(what with the motherly side) than most male Intps.

Of course, what with our weird awkwardness, us Intp's liek to ignore gender roles...

right?

Yes and no. I'm definitely more judging than most INTPs, but this is mostly because I don't like to be lazy for too long, and I'm more motivated to get things done. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't all INTPs have strong principles, moral or otherwise?

And I don't have more feeling due to my gender. I wish I did. I have little to no motherly instinct. Hopefully that will kick in before I ever have any kids.

 

[eudemonia]

Yes and no. I'm definitely more judging than most INTPs, but this is mostly because I don't like to be lazy for too long, and I'm more motivated to get things done. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't all INTPs have strong principles, moral or otherwise?

And I don't have more feeling due to my gender. I wish I did. I have little to no motherly instinct. Hopefully that will kick in before I ever have any kids.

re the latter: it was through the process of becoming a mother that the F side grew in me. Before that I had little Fe, though I've always had tons of Fi, being passionate about my ideas and principles.

 

[Melkor]

Hey!?

I was right about something!!!

-feels the need to tell someone-

 

[Jennywocky]

And I don't have more feeling due to my gender. I wish I did. I have little to no motherly instinct. Hopefully that will kick in before I ever have any kids.

At least, if it doesn't, you won't care.
Only good mothers [i.e., mom-instinct moms] feel like bad mothers.

And of course, then, if you can feel like a bad mom, maybe that means there's hope!

 

[Perseus]

Beware of the Groovy Cats!

Click on cats for the link. The Eagle will not understand when the Cat wanders off to get what she needs in bed on an away day.

 

[didyouknow]

I have problems mostly around children. I don't really know how to act all "motherly instinct" around them. Older children I am absolutely fine with. Like, over the age of 6. Otherwise, it's quite difficult. I never know what to say or how to act.

Especially when my mother is around. She is great with kids, and a child counsellor. It makes me feel really inferior relationshipwise. What personality type is that? hm...

I got mine from my father. I think he's somthing like an INTP, and I get along with him really well. He knows a hell of a lot about random topics.

I don't feel left out of social situations, though. You just have to find friends that don't talk about all of that irrevelant "girly" things like shoes, boys and fashion. Though I really like fashion, I detest talking about it and prefer to wear things that are unique and original. Definately not the latest trends.

 

[grey matters]

That's interesting didyouknow, I do not do well around young children either, I prefer older ones. The older my kids become the more I enjoy motherhood.

The problem, as I see it, with being an INTP mother is there are few people who mother in a style that is more condusive to the INTP personality type. There are almost no role models, and no one to bounce ideas off of. I found my niche only after quite a lot of struggling with trying to mother the way others do.

I tried the clean and orderly household thing, that made me cranky and bitchy and cut in on the time I could spend with the kids. I let myself feel guilty because I wasnt very good at nurturing and mothering, but now I realize that those types of parents are horrible at fostering independance and letting their kids mature, so I don't feel guilty anymore. At least I managed to avoid overscheduling my kids life with too many activities because I believe in the value of unstructured play.

Anyway, while I was sucking at all the other parenting approaches I was discoverig my own style. I.E., What I do best, which is teaching. I provide structured and unstructured learning oppertunities. We discover things together. I may not have a super clean fridge but what other parent can (with pride) boast that their son has an ongoing science experiment in thier fridge? I may suck at being the nurturing mother who is a perfect hostess to my kids friends, but when the kids bring me something interesting that they have found I will look it up on the internet or put it under the microscope.

While some people are into parties and tradition during the holliday break I plan for at least one daily art or science project...and of course, I forget to take pictures.

Isolation is the hardest. When the kids are really young and are driving you crazy most parents get together in social groups where they talk about almost every subject that you could care less about. And then there are the personality clashes: I can't tell you how many people I have pissed off by unintentially being too brutally honest.

Hugging my own kids is easy, there mine, but for whatever reason I have difficulty doing so with other people's kids. I think they smell bad and are annoying. I don't know why I feel this way.


Anyway I think I have now posted more stories about my INTP mothering then anyone ever wanted to know. My advice is not to fear it. Go with your strengths and learn to avoid or work around your weaknesses. And be advised that parenting for an INTP female often amplifies feelings of isolation.

 

[Ogion]

Although i am no mother and obviously won't ever be (since being male...^^) i find this interesting. It goes along with that i sometimes think about what kind of parent(/father) i will be when the time comes...

So, thanks for sharinng

Ogion

 

[severus]

Your story almost makes me want to have a child some day.
almost.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Hugging my own kids is easy, there mine, but for whatever reason I have difficulty doing so with other people's kids. I think they smell bad and are annoying. I don't know why I feel this way.

Because it's true?
or
Because mothers are instinctivly inclined towards their own children and can recognise them by sight, sound and smell?

It's interesting how people are driven by instinct.
Instinct and emotion are in my opinion impediments to a purely objective mind, as such if I had the option to seperate them from myself I would. Unfortunatly I'm bound to their influence, a slave to chemicals and genes.

This should spur some interesting replies.

 

[grey matters]

Chemicals instincts and emotions: They are useful in that they help you bond with your children, and of course they are quite useful for the activities that lead to the creation of those children. You might not want to completely separate yourself from these things.

 

[laurab898]

I just googled "INTP female" because recently I've been having trouble making sense of being analytical, logical, introverted - and female. Yes, we are very rare. Right now my main struggle is trying to relate to other women, and deal with ego-centric men. I'm extremely stubborn; if I know that I'm right, I'm right. I'm also extremely messy - I constantly annoy my detail oriented and very extroverted room mates. I HATE sappy chick flicks. I HATE gossip. I HATE drama. I find that men are intimidated by me - I come across as pretty serious and intense, and so they generally ditch me for the bubbly chicks. Pretty much, being an INTP girl sucks.

 

[Kidege]

Welcome Laurab.
Is that a checklist? Plenty of people here can relate. Make yourself at home.

 

[Logician]

being a INTP girl you could make a INTXs dream come true if you found one, so yes it may be tough not being able to get along with most people, but honestly, as far as dateing goes, its tougher on the guys. like you said INTP girls are very rare, and i simply cant tolerate a non-NT... ive been called gay ( jokeingly not seriously ) by my peers for ignoring many willing females, but i simply cant stand them.

 

[aracaris]

Umm..female Intps?


Well...they're like Intps...only female, aren't they?

Hahaaa..

I think as females they might inclined to be a little more judging (correct me if I'm wrong but ladies often have stronger morals) and perhaps also a little more feeling(what with the motherly side) than most male Intps.

I have to say motherly types seem almost like another species of animal to me, but then again so do a lot of people. I don't know exactly why some things like that seem alien to me, though I'm sure both nurture and nature play some role.

 

[Yellow]

I'm not nurturing, I'm not motherly, I'm not emotional, but I appear very feminine, and it throws people off. I always wear shirts and dresses (they are just so darned comfy), I have very long hair, and I sound like I'm 14 when I speak. Inside my head, I'm a stereotypical dude, except I don't like sports. I do encounter one major obstacle. People, normally dudes (but chicks join in from time to time) who think themselves geniuses, and/or have a masogynistic streak, assume I'm stupid. I have been put in many situations (especially as a teacher and tutor) where I have had to prove that I knew what I was talking about, and basically that I have a brain. I'm not confrontational, so these situations are very irritating and stressful. It has required a concerted effort on my part to not become bitter about it all, I have to just tell myself that it stems from social role expectations, and that many people have to deal with it in one way or another.

 

[walfin]

Is it really that bad to be an INTP woman nowadays? I've had the impression for a while that many of the problems women face in the workplace stem from them being too F.

INTPs just have a greater tendency to see the bad side of things, I should think.

People, normally dudes (but chicks join in from time to time) who think themselves geniuses, and/or have a masogynistic streak, assume I'm stupid.

This does have benefits (and it doesn't apply only to women; it happens to baby-faced men as well).

 

[Linada]

I would say i am quite nurturing, but not towards children. More in the way that i like to take care of other people. Quite house wifey in fact. That said, kids baffle me somewhat. I am constantly second guessing my interactions with them. Then again anything social rather baffles me.

As for problems at work being F related: I think Fs and NTs have two different issue with similar looking results. Fs fit more into the traditional woman's role and have the problems of being perceived as weak, and not hard enough to survive higher up. NTs are actually quite rational, hard, cold, whatever you want to call it. But for women that means we threaten the traditional male role. Smart, strong women still aren't possible for a lot of people. It's unreal how often i get lectured by men in positions of authority when I already know what they are talking about, often in much greater depth than their lecture.
Of course being disabled doesn't help. A stick or wheelchair makes me instantly unable to take responsibility for myself.

 

[Cavallier]

Is it really that bad to be an INTP woman nowadays? I've had the impression for a while that many of the problems women face in the workplace stem from them being too F.

INTPs just have a greater tendency to see the bad side of things, I should think.


This does have benefits (and it doesn't apply only to women; it happens to baby-faced men as well).

It's true that playing the dumb card can help at times. I find I have more trouble when I'm assertive. I'm not being a bitch, I'm not being pushy, I just know the answer and state it...like an assertive man would right? Then the men get resentful and frustrated with my directness. Perhaps they find it intimidating? This doesn't always happen but I quickly discover which men will be this way and avoid them.

 

[Ermine]

It's true that playing the dumb card can help at times. I find I have more trouble when I'm assertive. I'm not being a bitch, I'm not being pushy, I just know the answer and state it...like an assertive man would right? Then the men get resentful and frustrated with my directness. Perhaps they find it intimidating? This doesn't always happen but I quickly discover which men will be this way and avoid them.

It's really weird. You have no idea how many people (especially guys) that I've met that claim to highly appreciate the ablilty to be direct and say it how it is. Yet I mostly get a bad reaction when I do exactly that.

 

[Kidege]

People, normally dudes (but chicks join in from time to time) who think themselves geniuses, and/or have a masogynistic streak, assume I'm stupid.

Not to speak of the mysoginistic self-perceived geniuses. This sadly includes many T guys who would be best pals with us if only we were male.

I have been put in many situations (especially as a teacher and tutor) where I have had to prove that I knew what I was talking about, and basically that I have a brain.

I wear clothes that make me look older, strictly pants for job (but I like them, so it's no prob), and I speak with the formalities of the older generation. I also stand, move and use the voice of my ENTJ mother. The hard moments are those in which a student says something that would normally make me go into an introspective tangent, and I can't do it because I would lose their attention. I just note it down for later.

Inside my head, I'm a stereotypical dude, except I don't like sports.

Te hee. Just today I was thinking, and instead of "... me as a person", I thought "me as a man".

I stopped to check. Androginous identity firmly in place.

 

[Kassie]

Ever since I was little I've been considered "unfeminine" and frankly, it makes me smile.
Not that I don't like having some things that are a little girly, it's just that I don't think girls should have to conform to that.

When I was a little kid, I lived on a farm. My parents tried getting me a play kitchen and my brother a tool bench. We ended up switching. They tried giving me barbies. I ripped their heads off (and was filled with glee when I saw them pop off). What I had for toys were a four wheeler, a room full of broken and dismantled toys, and a junkyard across the driveway (imagine a gravel racetrack, and you'll know).

Now I'm in highschool and I still don't wear make up unless I feel like it (which is rare) and I act more like a guy than a girl. I feel absolutely no need to pretend to be girly, because I've seen the girls like that and they make me want to vomit.

I've had guy friends that I don't really talk to anymore, and who would rather talk to the "touchy-feely" girls. This makes no sense to me, especially when it comes to the clingy ones. However, I have Music Tech class and I'm the only girl in there. That class is one of my favorites because I don't feel like I'm being condemned by the other girls like usual. We all just have fun in that class and don't care about what each other acts like. It's my stress relief class.

 

[Agent Intellect]

The idea of guys being intimidated by smart or independent females sounds very strange to me. Intelligence is probably the sexiest thing I can think of in a woman (I've got a huge crush on Lisa Randall)

 

[aracaris]

It's really weird. You have no idea how many people (especially guys) that I've met that claim to highly appreciate the ablilty to be direct and say it how it is. Yet I mostly get a bad reaction when I do exactly that.

Yeah, it's so common for people to complain about those whom aren't direct enough in their communication style, and stereotype women as being particularly bad when it comes to the issue.
However the fact is that a lot of people only want someone to be direct with them when it's something that they want to hear, something that boosts their ego. If it's not something that they think is beneficial to them, then the directness can make the "knife" seem all that much sharper to them.
I think that perhaps some people just say they like those whom are really direct in how they communicate because it makes them sound like they are tough and can take anything you can throw at them.
Being indirect also tends to be seen as a sign of either being a: manipulative or b: insecure.

There are also more than enough people out there whom make broad generalizations about human behavior, and no matter how negative that behavior might be, they would rather deal with people whom behave within those generalizations than deal with those whom go against them.

They'd actually prefer to deal with women whom have all the various traits, both positive and negative, that they stereotype women as having than to deal with unique individuals (this can apply to any group of people, certainly not just women).

That way they can just make quick assumptions about people and base their interactions on those assumptions. Anyone acting differently just complicates things too much for their tastes.

 

[Death]

Inside my head, I'm a stereotypical dude, except I don't like sports.

I'm a dude,and I don't like sports,well pretty much.
..and I like hugs,and nobody likes to give me.

After reading this thread,I think I felt in love in INTP womens.

 

[Oblivious]

That would be narcissism. Welcome to the club.

 

[Carnap]

Because it's true?
or
Because mothers are instinctivly inclined towards their own children and can recognise them by sight, sound and smell?

It's interesting how people are driven by instinct.
Instinct and emotion are in my opinion impediments to a purely objective mind, as such if I had the option to seperate them from myself I would. Unfortunatly I'm bound to their influence, a slave to chemicals and genes.

This should spur some interesting replies.

Yeah, I was gonna say, that sounds like the way the French take Spinozism. Like, understanding the human machine is freedom. You understand the mechanisms that create feelings, etc. and you tell yourself 'oh that's why I feel jealous, or angry, etc." and then you kind of ignore it.

I take it to another level. You understand it, and then you totally modify your life to accomodate those feelings and mechanisms. I thought that's what Spinoza meant by freedom.

That probably didn't make sense. I'm not feeling so expressive today.

 

[ScoutFinch]

One day last week I googled INTP in Females. I had just taken the MBTI in a class, and the description I got back was very close to me. I have been having some problems in my job being a Resident Advisor at a college. I am introverted and so help me if someone is crying, because I don't understand emotions. I personally don't understand them. I understand that other people need to talk about them and all that jazz, and I have learned that they don't really like the asking question after question to find a solution approch. I know how to listen and rub their back and act like a normal human being:, I just feel bad acting, and feel really really bad when I am bored and just want to retreat into my own mind away from the annoyance. Trying to keep the irony, or inappropriate jokes to myself... It just sucks not being able to relate to 90% of the people that surround you, or even if you can logically figure out how to relate, they are only relating to the you that you have created for them. This thread was like reading little snipets from Me(s) in alternate realities. I understand every instance completely, and hearing some of my issues put into words has helped me work through a lot in my mind.

 

[al.uminum]

It's true that playing the dumb card can help at times. I find I have more trouble when I'm assertive. I'm not being a bitch, I'm not being pushy, I just know the answer and state it...like an assertive man would right? Then the men get resentful and frustrated with my directness. Perhaps they find it intimidating? This doesn't always happen but I quickly discover which men will be this way and avoid them.

I use a variation of the dumb card during most conversations I have with people. As a general rule, I will ask the most inane questions possible about whatever topic is being discussed. Doing so makes the other participant feel as if they are being listened to (with minimum attention on my part) and also allows them to answer a question using their unmatched expertise.

While it makes conversation easier, this brand of dumb card generally ends up bothering me in the long run, as I end up with scores of acquaintances who enjoy talking at me. Even worse are the few who interpret my questions as some sort of deference to their judgement/beliefs.

 

[Nicholas A. A. E.]

<sees topic>

 

[didyouknow]

I thought I'd comment again seeing as the last time I commented was a year ago and I think my views have changed since then. Is it just me or is it really weird reading your old posts?

Thanks to this forum I've become largely more accepting of my differences. I have my own brand of girlishness and that's fine with me. I enjoy dressing up sometimes for fun because it's just nice to do something different, and I act all posh and high class when I do as a joke.

In social situations I mostly just listen on the sidelines for ages until I have something to say. For example I was carpooling to a celebration dinner and they were talking about all sorts of things and someone brought up the chicken and the egg and I said, "Ooo, I actually know the answer to that!". When we actually got there I was silent for almost the entire dinner and most of the interaction I got was when they noticed the patterns I was making with the glasses on the table. Mostly though I was just lost in my own world. I was thinking a lot about how the other girls seemed to fit better into the social dynamics but I thought that they were missing out on all the cool theoretical stuff I was thinking about.

As for caring for other people I care a lot but not in the overt way. My friends have come to appreciate the way I do stuff for them rather than saying stuff. One of my friends hasn't been eating much but instead of spending my time flattering her into eating, I went and bought her some food and promised I'd follow her around all lunch break shoving it in her face (literally) and explaining (THROUGH SCIENCE!!) why she should eat it. I did not break my promise. Cellular respiration, ftw.

So to sum it all up we have our own way of doing things and I'm learning (very, very slowly) to appreciate that.

 

[Cavallier]

Necro'd...for funsies.

 

[Excellent]

I think it probably affects my lifestyle a lot. The first thing that comes to mind, is that most of my friends are male. I have a very small amount of female friends. Which is fine with me. I don’t really try to maintain the image of being “properly feminine”. I care about how I look and stuff, but my style isn’t particularly girly. I tend to have a strong attraction towards androgyny.



I think in general I’m more passionate than most girls AND guys about learning. The things I have the strongest feelings for are my own ideas and interests. And I’m not interested in shoes, jewelry, fashion, pop music, etc. I do have to say I like kids though and they tend to like me, although I don’t really act motherly towards them, I just get along well with them. They bring out a more goofy side of my personality, I’m often viewed as a friend. And in one case this five year old boy went around telling people I was his girlfriend. That was kind of cute. 



In relationships I have the most trouble I think. I don’t have trouble finding people to date really, but I have trouble making emotional connections with people, and I tend to date people I have no feelings for. The majority of my relationships have started like this:



Person: “Do you want to be my girlfriend?
Me: ”
“Sure.” *I mean, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do. Maybe I’ll end up liking them.*


Which is probably bad, and I’ve decided to stop. My current SO, I do have feelings for. I think that’s partly what attracts me to him, he makes me feel things more intensely than I usually do. Except when I explain this to him, he starts to feel like he’s a science experiment. Which in a way I am experimenting, but my feelings are still genuine.

Also, I only rarely tolerate some people touching me, I have to trust and be comfortable around them. In my experience, I’ve had no problems with ENTPs making physical contact with me, it comes naturally with them. My boyfriend is ENTP, and when he touches me if feels normal, same with one of my two best friends. My best ENTP guy friend, I feel totally fine when he touches me and hugs me. My other best friend, he’s ENFP and when he and I hug it usually ends awkwardly. My ex girlfriend was ENFP, and I’d always stiffen and be tense when she wanted to hug or cuddle. Although I DID hug her and stuff, and I could fake comfort after a while. Like. She’d randomly wrap her arms around me, and just want to hug for a long time, and I remember I’d always be wondering when it was going to stop, or thinking about something else, like homework or if I remembered to feed my dogs. And THEN once. We were in a parking lot and she was just hugging me, and I gulped. LIKE I swallowed my saliva, because my mouth went dry, maybe I was nervous or maybe we had just been hugging for a really long time and I was starting to get thirsty, but I felt like it was really loud, and so I was like “Sorry, I gulped.” and then immediately I started laughing, because I realized that was a horribly awkward thing for me to say. Anyway. She was too over emotional for me anyway. I don’t know what to do when someone comes to me crying a lot of the time, like I will understand why they’re sad, but it’s not something I’d get emotional over so I have a hard time sympathizing. And she’d always do that. She was emotionally unstable, and I’m emotionally retarded, so it was a bad mix.



My current boyfriend, I don’t think he’s used to dating someone who isn’t very emotionally open. He pushes me to be more open about how I feel about things, which is interesting. Although, I think he appreciates other differences I have from other more typical females. Like me having an interest in playing videos games and building robots. And not having to watch sappy romantic comedy type movies, and me not being very dramatic or as quick to anger. Less mood swingy.

Oh, and I've been told I speak similarly to how Michael Cera does. Which I find kind of amusing, but I don't think I come off that awkward. At least not always. I think my speech kind of changes depending on who I'm talking to. I’ve gotten way more confident since I was younger. I’m still introverted, but not really shy. I’ve even been told I’m talkative. I don’t have trouble starting conversations with people I don’t know. Although, there are other times that I am uncomfortable in the situation I’m in or around the people present and I will be much more quiet. Naturally, I’m more of a listener and observer than anything, but if you start me talking about something I feel competent in, and I feel comfortable with those around me, I can talk a lot. I’ve been told that I’m easy to talk to, because I’m not easily shocked, I can be told anything and I just accept it with out judging someone entirely on one thing, and that I make people feel comfortable to be themselves around me. So I don't think I'm more judging than most INTPs, I'm awful at getting things done too. I procrastinate so badly.

Anyway. I kind of went off topic a bit in places, but oh well. That's some of my experience as an INTP and a female.

Oh, also, do any of you go on Omegle? Whenever I'm on there people assume I'm male. It's kind of funny, it doesn't bother me. I don't even correct them sometimes, unless I feel it's necessary.

 

[AlisaD]

Thanks Cav

I've read this whole thread (I think that never happened before if there's more than 10 responses ) It's rather interesting.

I found it kind of strange that some of the posters complained about people presuming they were not smart just because they are girls, or about others being intimidated by smart girls. I never really encountered that. With new people, I usually just stay quiet and stare at them, and they somehow just presume I'm smart - which is just silly, but still happens most of the time. And I don't think smart girls are any more intimidating than smart guys. Smart people are intimidating in general, I don't see how it has much to do with gender.

For me personally, being an INTP girl is great fun, I saw this test about which INTP type you are - it didn't seem very reliable, but it pinned me down to the point - I am a PINT - the "Secret Prostitute - The first of our identity-strong subtypes, they court several identities at once without thought of global inconsistency." It pretty much means that I can never really be sure which person I will wake up as.
So there are days when I can be overly feminine and dress up, smile at guys and act all girly and helpless - it's really funny seeing guys running to your aid, even if you don't really need it. And then there are days when I just feel (and act) like Tom Soyer - I climb trees and run around in worn out, dirty clothes, some people find it charming, other think it's weird, which is also fine, weird is good. And then there are days when I just want to be invisible, so I wear ordinary stuff, and just blend in. And sometimes, a different persona can take over in an instant, and it's really funny watching how people react to the change.

As far as feelings go, it's strange, I have a lot of those, but I also have this really, really old person inside my head, watching them, smiling and saying: "That's nice, dear" She makes it hard to take feelings too seriously. She also makes me feel somewhat grandmotherly towards most people, which makes it incredibly hard to find a guy I could have an actual relationship with - it should be someone I can't feel so much older then - so far I have met only a few people like this (a drug dealer, a former drug addict, a sailor and an INTP - talk about a strange collection) Other then them, I usually just look at what people do and think: "That's nice, dear"

Fortunately, a steady relationship is not really something I crave for, so this is not too horrible a thing, but if I ever decide to settle down, I might have a problem.

I guess where I'm going with this is that I have no problems with how people perceive me or act towards me as a girl, but I sometimes have problems with the way I perceive them. But it think it has more to do with being an INTP then being a girl. I'd actually think that being an INTP guy is a lot harder then being an INTP girl, since we don't seem to take gender roles to seriously, and women have fought for equality for so long that we can now pretty much do anything, without anyone really caring (at least in Europe) But if you tell people that you are a male fashion designer, they will still probably presume you are gay (at least around here). Generally, being a girl who is a bit of a tomb-boy is considered sexy by a lot of guys, while being a boy who is a bit feminine means you don't get laid very often.

 

[Cavallier]

As far as feelings go, it's strange, I have a lot of those, but I also have this really, really old person inside my head, watching them, smiling and saying: "That's nice, dear" She makes it hard to take feelings too seriously. She also makes me feel somewhat grandmotherly towards most people, which makes it incredibly hard to find a guy I could have an actual relationship with - it should be someone I can't feel so much older then - so far I have met only a few people like this (a drug dealer, a former drug addict, a sailor and an INTP - talk about a strange collection) Other then them, I usually just look at what people do and think: "That's nice, dear"

And here I just thought I'd been possessed all these years. Actually, I like how you visualize this sensation. Most of my psyche is made up of a detached observer who dispenses advice when called upon. The rest of me is distracted by this observer.

After thinking over my old response I've come to the conclusion that my background in a small town was dominated by extreme conservatives and anti-intellectualism. This caused me to draw a correlation between how people treat me and my being an intelligent female. Although, like others have done, I'm beginning to accept and enjoy femininity for it's own sake.

 

[AlisaD]

And here I just thought I'd been possessed all these years. Actually, I like how you visualize this sensation. Most of my psyche is made up of a detached observer who dispenses advice when called upon. The rest of me is distracted by this observer.

Maybe you are possessed. Maybe we both are

Do you like the observer? Or is it annoying?

 

[Chimera]

Necro'd...for funsies.

/hate
My post in here is two years old.
..../haaaate
​

 

[Cavallier]

/hate
My post in here is two years old.
..../haaaate
​

This is in part why I wanted to necro this thread. I've changed my former opinions and I was wondering if others had as well. I apologize however if I have caused undue emotional turmoil oh colorful one.

 

[telepathink]

INTP girls, you are the best

 

[Deleted member 1424]

My gender seemed purely incidental growing up. I had an older sister and brother so I took part in both stereotypical girl and boy activities, but I was undeniably a tomboy. I collected insects, roughhoused, played video games and was generally tougher than the boys. Then middle school came around and I had to start wearing this irritating, constraining garment called a bra and all the girls (at least the popular ones) would huddle around together talking about clothes and which boy they thought was cute. The boys weren't any better, they all became obnoxious and tried to look and sound like Snoop Dogg. I remember thinking vividly how completely ridiculous everyone had become. I still think it every now and then.

Gender just seems so unimportant to me now. I don't think of myself as female and I don't think of other people as being male or female unless they make a point to be perceived that way. I find exaggerated femininity or masculinity rather obnoxious in either gender. It's a mundane dichotomy the world needs to stop obsessing over imo. There are more interesting things to argue about nowadays.

All in all I like being female, it has it's advantages and disadvantages. It took me awhile to come to this point though as I lacked any decent female role models, especially when compared to my ideals. At some point I decided I just didn't care if people wanted me to be sociable, feminine, Christian, etc. Social decree be damned, I'm my own unapologetic blend of masculine and feminine; they'll just have to deal with it.



A lot of people on this thread have talked about disliking physical contact. I generally like hugs, friends make great pillows, and if it's cold out I'm almost cuddly. However yesterday I was hugged by some smelly stoner I'd only just met and it was like a flashback to all the painfully awkward hugs I've ever had.
So much for supposedly acclimating myself to it.

 

[Jennywocky]

I wouldn't apologize for flinching from a virtual stranger making some sort of irritable physical contact with you, I think a lot of people would not like having body space invaded like that. It took me years to become physically sensual and enjoy it... but only with people I trust and love; I don't much like drive-by touching.

 

[Red Devil]

Interesting thread. Thanks for bringing it up.

Well, it's difficult being human in the first place. The hardest part being an INTP female for me would be expressing my emotions I guess. Women are supposed to be good and it or something. I'm terribly awkward and aloof when it comes to showing sympathy, affection, any type of emotion basically. Add to that, I don't like nailpaints, makeup, etc. I don't care how I look most of the times and I couldn't be bothered with all the dressing up thing. I can't cook much. I'm not interested in the latest gossip, latest tv shows or celebrities. I don't like hugs and kisses. So in short, I'm an epic fail when it comes to being the traditional woman. -_-

 

[Fukyo]

Ah, much to my great dismay many outside observers probably see me as feminine. The quiet, demure kind of femininity. Yuck.
The "good girl" label how I hate thee, no matter how useful you can be for bluffing my way out of most anything.

I agree with Nyx's post for the most part. I don't care for genders, nor do I think about myself or others in terms of gender. I get an occasional comment from family members about how I'm not tidy, well mannered or well dressed enough for a girl, but I continue in my desired direction regardless of their opinions.

I'll admit I get my feathers ruffled a bit when someone tells me I should do X because I'm a girl, but I would have the same reaction if I was a male. It's not the gender itself that would bother me in such a situation, simply the notion that anybody should do something just because of some arbitrary label they didn't even choose to begin with.

 

[Ariel]

I have to say motherly types seem almost like another species of animal to me, but then again so do a lot of people. I don't know exactly why some things like that seem alien to me, though I'm sure both nurture and nature play some role.

INTP's generally do not like to be responsible for, or dominate, others (nor be dominated FWIW) and I'm guessing that has something to do with aversion to motherhood. Just my best guess off the cuff. To the extent that's the correlating reason, there's probably a better way to say it, but hopefully this gets the idea across.