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There is a very fine line between Eustress (that optimal amount of stress that inclines one toward productivity and accomplishments) and negative Stress (that amount of stress that causes one to recede within him/herself and rock back and forth in the corner).

<Pops popcorn> This in gonna be good.

Ack! :o I mean.... Good job...? :confused: (Stop trying to call my bluff.)

Bahaha! Well, I may be a faceless grey entity but henceforth, I vow to attempt to support all your future inappropriate endeavors.

Totally agree! One of the threads few redeeming qualities, IMHO.

I really like this topic. As an ESFJ, the above post is completely foreign to me but I'd like to understand. I'd actually like to be a little more immune to or unaware of my emotions. Can you elaborate on when being more aware of your emotions would help you make better decisions. I know...

Tru dat.

Quick side note: This would cause me a lot of anxiety as well. Google Drive & Calendar are great ways to never lose that important info if you don't mind the cloud.

It's interesting to come back to this after weeks/months. I'm doing much better. When I reread my previous posts I feel like, "Who was this girl? How was she ever this broken?" I haven't talked to my husband in weeks. The last time we spent time together was back in March. That's how long it's...

Felt compelled to see what this Roast of Sinny was about. I just wasted hours of my life I'll never get back. I think maybe there's some nugget of wisdom I'll glean after more reflection. Now I really understand the phrase "it was like a train wreck you can't look away from." Pondering "Least...

Thanks for the feedback. Helps a lot.

Oh. I thought I really upset you somehow. Lol. #ESFJProblems

"I am enough" -- could this really solve all our problems? Have any of you tried something like this? Seems too simple and yet it also really resonates with me. https://youtu.be/lw3NyUMLh7Y

Update & Question: I'm doing better. Seems like it just takes time to move through something like this. Drinking less. Workout out more. Enjoying school. Still feeling drained but much better. Q: My question for you guys is related to my interactions with my husband. I think I've mentioned...

Yeah, I understand that. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the previous post or arguing semantics. I just found the blanket statement that it's not a therapist job to help you out of a hole surprising. I'm not sure why therapists exist if not to help people. Ultimately, yes, only I can make my life...

All of my therapist have guided me toward more positive behaviors and taught me positive tools to use which I believe is part of a therapist job. To me, this is showing me how to get out of a hole & helping me to do so.

Really? I thought this was pretty much exactly what the their job entailed. At least that how my therapists have tried to help me.

I've had the same concern while reading through this thread. There seems to be a disconnect here. Is this a theoretical discussion or a realistic one? On paper, "get over it, use the tools, what hasn't killed you should only make you stronger" makes sense. In reality, people who haven't suffered...

I SOOOOOOO agree with this guy! He needs to get out of my head! A few notes below: One this he said was it's unlikely for us to be pushy in a conversation. I can definitely be pushy in a conversation but I think that's because I was raised with a mom who didn't have boundaries when it came to...

What is your therapist suggesting to help you with this? I always think of INTPs as having these invincible minds that can easily choose a certain thing and compartmentalize the rest. But it appears that several INTPs here suffer from anxiety, depression, and other issues. If you know this...

Yeah. I'd agree with that general assessment. Your interactions with your dad are kinda funny (but probably not to you or him). :ahh04:

Oops. My ESFJ bad. ;) We dated for 4 years. Got married when he was 23 and I was 25.

What's your dad's type. Sounds a lot like an ESFJ (or maybe ESTJ?)

I think the INTP/ESFJ romantic relationship can work but I believe it will not be as fulfilling as other type combinations (for either type). I have wondered if older folks overlook more of their personality preferences in leu of a sense of duty and commitment. Also, your grandmother sounds like...

I could see an ESFJ believing this. Not long ago, I thought I perhaps turned Introvert as well. In my teen and early adult years, I enjoyed groups of any size and it was a thrill to meet new people. But, it's possible for us to be very drained by social events. To get the energy I need from...

Being cruel: I think bc I can go for the jugular when my emotions too high. In the moment, I can feel like you are hurting me because of some great personal Injustice. I can impute motive all too quickly. I've learned the hard way that my husband rarely intends to hurt me and hardly ever lashes...

I wrote a detailed explanation on my phone and then somehow deleted it all. Boo. I'll come back & do a better job later if this ends up too rushed and unhelpful. If unchecked, I would probably make all my decisions based on how it internally FELT -- which choice gave instant relief from my...

VISION BOARD Have any of you used a vision board before? If so, for what and what did you think of it? When I was talking with my friend & telling her I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore or what my worth was she asked me if I could identify what it was I valued in myself. My instant...

I know drinking to dull emotions isn't great but I also know I'm not going to do this forever. Mornings are actually the worst -- waking up with a wave of anxiety. But I notice the wave getting a little weaker day by day. My classes start next week & drinking all day won't be an option. For...

Hey all. I'm still alive. I'm turning the corner. I've: - Registered for college courses. Since I was a full-time wife and mom (and took care of our ranch & animals) I haven't yet finished getting my degree. If I go full time, I should graduate with a bachelor's in psychology summer of 2018...

This sounds very much like the place I'm slowly coming to. Do you find that you have anger toward her for not trying?

The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. Do you guys go through the same stages? Mine seem to be in a...

I'm at the point where I can say I wholeheartedly want to live again. I can't really do just drive away -- due to a 17 year old son & other responsibilities but it sure sounds good. I'm decided to drive away in my mind & that actually helps. Grief & mourning -- that's exactly it. Something...

I wish I understood it all but I don't. That's the bane of being a feeler, I guess. I feel it and it can be quite strong and controlling but I don't always understand it. I'd say there was a piece of everything you mentioned above. At this point, compassion for my husband is a lesser feeling...

Thanks for your thoughtful response. Yep. Pretty much. #FeelerProblems for sure. So... We all know I'm a feeler. And we all know it's not logical or healthy to stay in a relationship where one person doesn't really want the other. I can logically get that. Simply saying "get a grip" might...

ANOTHER UPDATE: Nutshell: Went to counseling session. His intention was to help me get whatever I needed in order find resolution with the way things currently are -- not to attempt to salvage anything. I find myself connecting my self worth directly to his valuation of me or his interest in...

I also found Polaris' story very powerful. Especially lessons learned & applied. It's interesting to me how depression can grow out of very different circumstances -- I think more common within similar personality types -- but it seems like the effects of the depression and the shifting of...

From his follow-up comments, I think he means they aren't reality, concrete, facts and therefore shouldn't be treated as such. Which, was opposite of how I feel but in truth, isn't he right? But, even though they aren't reality, they are still real. It seemed like a very INTP thing for him to say.

Some of my INTP husband's most frequently used: "Feelings aren't real" "That's not true" "That's not accurate" "I don't know" "I don't like people"

I've been watching several of his videos. One remark he made really stood out where he said he hated it when he and his wife would argue and she'd go to bed without resolving it and leave him to stew over it unable to sleep. I'm not an expert in typing but that's exactly how I handle conflict...

Makes sense. I'm intrigued. Sorry if you already mentioned this but what organization are you a part of that's doing this research?

I think it's because they are little sissy baby girls. I'm with you. SOOOOOOO sensitive.

:applaus: Voted best response. Evar

You don't consider developing your career, achieving a degree/learning, growing a family/investing in human capital of the future meaningful experiences? What would you classify them as? And what are the "meaningful" experiences you feel you're lacking?

I've been trying to catch up on all the previous comments but forgive me if this has already been addressed (on this thread or another on the forum) and I've missed it: What makes the study of personality types like this so important to us? What is the benefit of this type of information? Most...

We have back to back appointments with the counselor this Tuesday. I'll go in first and then my husband and I will go in together. I'm seeing the counselor first so we can talk without my husband and hopefully I'll be in a good enough head space to handle the together part of the session well...

Anyone have an idea why most of the imbedded vids & pics aren't showing up for me like the ones referenced above? Kinda annoying. I've checked my settings and allowed popups and whatever basic general stuff a not totally noob would try. Ideas? I find all of this pretty interesting but I find...

Interestingly, I can relate to your paradox (albeit maybe not quite as extremely). What specifically are these different priorities you mention?

Sounds like me (ESFJ) Sounds like my husband (INTP)

And, does this not seem a little uncool to y'all? 1) INTPs attracted to ESFJish type 2) If they find an ESFJish who finds them intriguing too then the relationship's on 3) INTP doesn't actually like the ESFJ (& will probably leave????) :confused: