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Seems slightly problematic. But also affirms you're the best ESFJ Immersion candidate. All joking aside: Why the recent hermit sinkiness goal?

I took it 4 times because I've always tested ESFJ but got ISTJ the first time and thought I had accidentally selected the wrong answer. Try #2: ISTJ again. Huh? <Scratches head> Try #3: ISFJ. Hmm... Ok. At least that's closer. Try #4: ESFJ. I don't know what to believe any more. It was...

Want to test this theory? We could immerse ESFJs in this forum and you could immerse yourself in the ESFJ forum. Check back every couple years to see how much we've both gone to the dark side. Honestly, I actually would love to test this. It's something I've been pondering for a couple years...

Sorry. Got you confused with QT above.

I understand the types are very different but I thought the shared S would mean ISTPs & ESFJs would have a common language or dialect. What have you experienced specifically?

Whaaaaaa?! We're like two peas in a pod. ;)

I've only been to 3 psychiatrists over my lifetime so I'm not an authority on the subject but 2 of the 3 were much more focused on what Grayman mentioned than simply solutions & problem solving. There are all types out there.

... Which leads me to this statement: Finding the RIGHT therapist is extremely important and you should feel free to "interview" several and find the one who is right for you. If you don't want to be pushed to share your feelings, you'll probably have to find a pretty specific counselor.

In my head: Holy cow! Is this my husband? No, couldn't be. There's no way he'd share these intimate feelings, like, maybe ever, let alone with a bunch of strangers So, curious. How are you guys able to talk so openly about things like love, sex, relationships, interactions and how those...

Hi Jenny, I appreciate that. You've been one of the most helpful people on here. Thanks for taking the time and for the words of encouragement. Direct is something I most definitely am but I'm attempting to soften that a bit. I have so often thought INTPs were "weird" and "not normal" because I...

Freedom would likely never trump my values and probably rarely ever trump my feelings. Freedom seems to be a very "feeling" thing so that analogy gets a little tricky in my mind but the freedom vs. values -- yeah. Thanks for putting it in ESFJ language. Very helpful. From past comments he's...

That is what I want to believe. He's said things like this before -- avoiding the emotion. I have a much greater appreciation for the way INTPs logically think and your emotional intelligence since immersing myself in this forum. I've studied personality types and psychology for 3+ years...

Can somebody shed some light on this: It's very normal for me to share my thoughts & feelings with my INTP husband and him have no response. It usually happens via text or email. It used to really upset me when I open my heart and become vulnerable to only feel totally disregarded. In latter...

Can somebody shed some light on this: It's very normal for me to share my thoughts & feelings with my INTP husband and him have no response. It usually happens via text or email. It used to really upset me when I open my heart and become vulnerable to only feel totally disregarded. In latter...

Thanks for the feedback. My first post on this thread was actually my first post to this forum last week. Apparently, it had to be OKd by an administrator before posting. I've found a lot of really helpful information on this site and many folks who have shared input to shed some light on INTPs...

Sorry -- typo. I'm ESFJ.

I've wondered this for a few years and I've asked him repeatedly. He always answered by saying, "I said I'd only marry once and never get a divorce." I asked him again a couple weeks ago and he said, "It won't change anything for me. If it'll make things better for you, you should do it."...

Wow, INsTeP -- Thank you. The author calls out my exact questions. Still reading but I believe this will be very helpful -- although it seems not likely to be the answers I wanted.

Thank you for everyone's feedback. Is this quote above -- way of thinking & processing -- coming from the N or T part of you guys?

ESFJ here. Trying to understand how to communicate with INTP. After understanding logic was such an important thing (that he didn't simply "feel" what I considered right/wrong) I began trying to argue with logic. To me, that usually means clearly defining cause an effect. X + Y = Z. "Eureka!" I...

I've continued to come back to this. Still trying to make sense of it. Can you tell me if any of this makes sense to you? If you agree or have anything else to add?: I do see how my natural way of doting on somebody or complementing/flattering them might come off superficial and somewhat...

Lol. I was searching for "apology" because I want to know more about what a sincere meaningful apology is to an INTP and I came across this gem. Y'all are so weird. ❤

Ok. I see the confusion. I meant "learn" as in "look at everyone's profile picture & study what feelings are conveyed through emojis." Thank you for your definition. That clears things up. Let me try this "other" version of learning and get back with you.

You know I had to ask bc as an ESFJ I don't know many words. And what is this "dictionary" you speak of? Is it a magical place of care bears & unicorns? If so, tell me how to find it.

Lol. That made me laugh. What is your definition of learning?

I've continued investigating this forum and, dang.... So many of you seem to absolutely detest ESFJs. You really DO feel things deeply. I had no idea we had such power and affect on you guys. ;). What's with implying ESFJs aren't intelligent? It seems to be a common theme here. How are you...

I asked. He wouldn't answer. Hasn't answered the past 3 times I've asked over the past year.

How would one know if an INTP loved them & didn't just like them the same way they liked their friends & coworkers?

Do INTPs generally find it annoying for people to send them self-help material? And if so, why? Ex: My husband and I have the same religious beliefs. If I read something encouraging or helpful, my first instinct is to share it with people I care about because it might encourage or help them...

Love is sharing a life together. Sharing dreams, decision making, experiences. Waking up and going to bed together. Communicating every day. Never giving up on each other. Pretty much suffocating an INTP is love to me, I think. ??? Love is also putting someone else's needs before own. I think...

Well, poop. I actually think I understand where you're coming from. And it's possible you're correct on your assessment. And although this admiration doesn't seem novel to me I have to consider that it is to others and possibly downright is in general. IDK. This is what I'm saying that is so...

I find him a fascinating human being. Not as a trite thing. But fascinating, yes. Is that still crappy? Yes, QuickTwist. I think you get it. Thanks everyone for input. It's difficult to hear some of this but I need to take it all in and think things through. I appreciate everything you...

Ok. Doesn't make total sense to me but that's probably not a surprise to anyone here. If I complement you, I really truly mean it and admire it. If I think it's impressive, is it fair for somebody else to tell me it isn't? I'll try to think on this and understand better. Is this a common INTP...

Noted. Thank you.

Grayman, I'd appreciate some more input from you. For instance, why do you stay married? How do you make it work with an ESFJ. Do you think she gives you the space you need? I'm probably grasping at straws but if you can make it work, can't other INTP/ESFJ combos? Also, if you don't want to...

You thought I was implying that he needed to? If I notice a talent in somebody, I like to point it out. Some people might just call that a complement. ;) I have to confess... I'm missing something here. This seems to have upset you. Can you elaborate? Or can somebody else translate? Man... I'm...

P.S. You seem very insightful into the ESFJ type (and I'm guessing other types). And you have a way of talking to an ESFJ without making them feel like an idiot and that you hate them. Ever think of becoming a counselor? I know everything says an INTP really shouldn't but you seem to have a...

No... that sounds pretty much exactly like something he would say. Which... actually gives me a ton to think about. You're right -- I absolutely did not look at it your/his way at all. Not even a little bit. Thank you.

I actually really appreciate the input. I can tell you're being honest and not unkind. I really don't know the answer. I still want to have hope. I still want to believe compromising is possible and would even cause us both to become more balanced. But... I am losing hope. Like I said... I feel...

Why not get a divorce? Several reasons. I thought I could fix us, fix me enough to make him want to be with me and invest in me again. I thought his need for autonomy was the main culprit and if I could just convince him life together was good then it could work. I have been extremely...

If I had to choose one I'd probably say the lack of communication -- especially related to intent, motives, and feelings behind actions. I think I can deal with almost anything if I can understand where it's coming from. Unfortunately (admittedly), I often need more than a one-liner to really...

???

Lol. Don't do it!!! The heartache for the ESFJ that will ensue is pure torture. And maybe for the INTP as well. Not worth it. But if you want to find us in order to simply investigate and expand your own horizons, we often volunteer and teach and then hang out in large groups at local...

Jenny (and all INTPs), Is there a particular type of therapist you looked for? What specialization did you find most helpful? This is a little off topic, I know, but I'd like to find a marriage counselor for my husband (INTP) and myself (ENFJ). I think it might be most beneficial to find...

Such a good question. Not sure I have a complete or exhaustive answer. I think we are so attracted to INTPs (and introverts) because it's in our DNA and feeds us to connect on an emotional level. INTPs seem so extremely closed off in this area. If they give us a sliver of themselves it's...

His wit, intelligence, and attention. Being invited into the secret garden of his strongly fortified world was captivating.

We didn't know our types at the time. Perhaps if we knew & fully understood what it meant, we wouldn't have married. I don't recommend it. The potential for growth was always something I valued in our relationship but I didn't fully understand how or why that was. Now, it's the only silver...

I'm an ESFJ female married to an INTP male seeking a deeper understanding -- that's why I'm here. I'd like to return the favor. If you have any questions, thoughts, comments about ESFJs, feel free to post them here. I'm happy to help explain our perspective. I think INTP-ESFJ...

You don't think there could possibly be things you don't see within yourself that a trained outside perspective could help with?

Because I can draw on the many years hearing my husband say things like this and trying to understand him better, I think you are probably completely serious. There are few statemenst that sounds more bizarre to me. I find you all very intriguing -- as I'm sure many ESFJs do, it's like a...