sensitive?

[loveofreason]

Would anyone else describe themselves as particularly sensitive?

If so, in what way?

I am easily overwhelmed by all manner of stimuli, to the point that it makes functioning in the normal everyday world quite distressing, even painful in a sense.

 

[fullerene]

ooh I was just talking to two of my friends about this (esfp, esfj), because I'm trying to get a handle on other people's feelings.

It depends on what you mean by sensitive. I definitely have feelings... and they can definitely be hurt, or I can be made angry, or whatever. I don't know if they're stronger or weaker than other people's just because I haven't had enough time/experience to match it up, but I think they're about the same. They just tend to be picked at by different types of things than most people.

The only major difference is when I'm around people, they tend to just clamp off. If I'm crying and someone walks into a room, I'll stop immediately... but it's completely subconscious. It's also very much unhelpful, because I have next to no emotional mirror for someone who's upset right next to me. When I'm off alone afterward I'll feel for them, but it doesn't look like it at the time... even if I try to.

So the only time my feelings really interfere with my interactions with the world is when they affect my motivation, when I'm alone, so that I can't make myself get work done before a class or whatever.

 

[Jesin]

I am easily overwhelmed by all manner of stimuli, to the point that it makes functioning in the normal everyday world quite distressing, even painful in a sense.

What you described there is actually the cause of many of the behaviors characteristic of Asperger Syndrome, for example sitting with one's head pressed into a corner to block out stimuli while thinking. I think Asperger's Syndrome is just a severe form of being INTP. My parents told me that when I was about 5-7, they seriously considered the possibility that I had Asperger's Syndrome, and looking back on my behavior around that time, I see what they mean. I apparently didn't quite meet the criteria for diagnosis.

 

[Radioactive_Springtime]

I have a terrible time letting things go.

 

[nooli4]

The only major difference is when I'm around people, they tend to just clamp off. If I'm crying and someone walks into a room, I'll stop immediately... but it's completely subconscious. It's also very much unhelpful, because I have next to no emotional mirror for someone who's upset right next to me. When I'm off alone afterward I'll feel for them, but it doesn't look like it at the time... even if I try to.

This happens to me as well and it's especially unhelpful when I think of good advice to give someone after I've tried to comfort them. Sorry if this is off-topic. Back to the topic, I don't think I would describe myself as sensitive to most things, but I'm not quite sure what type of sensitivity you are referring to.

 

[loveofreason]

I deliberately left the type of sensitivity open because I'm aware there are so many possibilities.

I'm vulnerable to a wide spectrum, both physical and non-, but if I had to nominate the two most charged areas I would have to say Sound and Atmosphere. I guess the definition of atmosphere is the total impression of a place or circumstance, and it carries an emotional valency.

I wonder what degree of sensitivity, whatever the type, is common to INTPs.

Jesin, Aspergers has crossed my mind more than once (my father is somewhere on the spectrum, as well as being OCD), but the critical difference is that an aspergers individual completely lacks social sensitivity, whereas I feel incredible vulnerable to my social atmosphere. (I used to fantasise about being autistic - I thought it would be the most peaceful release from a horrible human world!)

Anyways, can hyper-sensitivity be superimposed regardless of MBTI, or does it preclude an individual from fitting certain types. Can someone be both INTP and almost cripplingly sensitive?

If sensitivity can be turned off and on, how/why do we learn to control it? For the record, I too will do everything possible to be non-expressive around other people. Crying, actually any type of emoting unless it is an act to satisfy social expectations, is strictly done in solitude.

 

[Jordan~]

I'm senstive to different things. Beauty (in a positive way) and injustice (in a negative way) are the most notable. My tragic flaws are aesthetism and justice.

 

[loveofreason]

I knew there was an online test for 'sensitivity' and I've rediscovered the link:

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

If you ignore the somewhat new-agey self-help our-book-can-help-you pathologising tone it's worth doing the quiz to see what's catagorised as sensitive.


I have to agree about the impact of beauty. One of the things that hurt me so about much of human effort - the results are so ugly! Beauty by contrast is like oxygen. Life fails without it.

 

[October]

I'm rather sensitive, but I don't let people know they affect me. I hide it all inside. My problem is that I tend to take things too personally, and that's why I don't really like to show my paintings/drawings/etc because I fear criticism.

 

[Dissident]

Im not as insensitive as people think (a female friend of mine even told me more than once that Im insensitive (she likes me anyway tho )), but its only with certain things.
Music for example, if Im listening to something I like and it stops abruptly it produces me a very unpleasant feeling, like a void, I have to either wait till it ends or turn the volume slowly down till its mute.
With people it depends, if its someone that I like/am interested in, then I can be very sensitive/perceptive, but I have to be consciously paying attention.

I scored 7 in that test by the way.

 

[fullerene]

Music for example, if Im listening to something I like and it stops abruptly it produces me a very unpleasant feeling, like a void, I have to either wait till it ends or turn the volume slowly down till its mute.

haha dude, go to YouTube- Mad World - Gary Jules and listen to the cello in the 16 measures beginning at 1:35 (2nd verse). They use this effect so unbelievably well in that song it makes me shiver and gives me goosebumps every time I listen specifically for it.

 

[Ermine]

Depends what you mean by sensitive. If you mean reactive, then I'm sensitive to stupidity and injustice. If you mean particularly frail, I'm sensitive to the fact that I'm emotionally void. Then there's being perceptive. In that case, I'm sensitive to what my friends tell me.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Regarding physical sensitivity, my wife is amazingly sensitive. Here's a list...

She can feel when she's ovulating;
her skin reddens on contact with most soaps (we've found exactly one shampoo that she can tolerate);
smells that other people don't even notice can set her off;
her body reacts to drinking water with even trace amounts of minerals in it (she uses distilled for most things)...

As for myself, I can get over-stimulated, but I'm not particularly sensitive up front. That said, I react fairly quickly and sometimes quite emotionally to really strong negativity such as gross injustice, horrible suffering, etc., especially regarding the treatment of children.

Dave

 

[fullerene]

Oy how could I not think of this? I'm also extremely sensitive to food textures. I can't eat most vegetables because they make me sick, and the paper-like feel of lettuce when it folds up and hits the back of my throat is an almost guaranteed way to make me gag. Potatoes give me trouble too... not because they taste like anything, but because of the texture. I was eating a creamy soup once and grabbed a lump of what I thought was... either crab or lobster, I forget which... and it turned out to be potato, and when I bit into it it felt like it turned to powder in my mouth. Disgusting.

On the other hand, I absolutely love pudding, yogurt, and stuff like that for almost the exact same reason. Steak is fantastic too, based mostly on texture, not taste. Bread is cool feeling too, especially the home-made stuff.

 

[Jesin]

Oy how could I not think of this? I'm also extremely sensitive to food textures.

That is why I don't like bananas.

Potatoes? Well, it depends how they're cooked. As for vegetables, there's a certain type of green beans that are really good steamed. (The beans are tiny, so it's mostly the pod.) Lettuce, I just eat the stems.

 

[Thread Killer]

I'm sensitive about the music thing as well. Emotionally, I'm not as sensitive as I was when I was younger, but once in a while my feelings do get really hurt but I always feel ashamed that I even have hurt feelings. Even though I'm female, I am the type that is ashamed of showing hurt, attraction, intense like, dislike, etc. I try to appear as stoic as possible while coming across as friendly enough to not give people the impression that I'm angry with them.

In other areas, I'm sensitive about grammar, spelling, making contradictory statements, and the like. I can freak out if something like HTML code I wrote shows an error. I am easily embarrassed by making an unintentional obvious statement. I am also sensitive about being seen as rude, untrustworthy, lazy in a work setting, factually inaccurate, etc. I can be afraid of looking out of place, accidently breaking rules, behaving inappropriately, etc, hence why I was the model student years back for behavior (quiet, mild-mannered, etc), until people got to know me and I felt bold enough to be myself around them.

 

[loveofreason]

Im not as insensitive as people think (a female friend of mine even told me more than once that Im insensitive (she likes me anyway tho )), but its only with certain things.
Music for example, if Im listening to something I like and it stops abruptly it produces me a very unpleasant feeling, like a void, I have to either wait till it ends or turn the volume slowly down till its mute.
With people it depends, if its someone that I like/am interested in, then I can be very sensitive/perceptive, but I have to be consciously paying attention.

I scored 7 in that test by the way.

Seven?! Quick, check your pulse - still with us?

I was hoping more people would share their result. I'm scared to say it now... I scored 23. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not actually INFJ (don't tell anyone ).

To everyone: aren't there days when you feel like you'll scream if you hear another human voice?

Regarding physical sensitivity, my wife is amazingly sensitive. Here's a list...

She can feel when she's ovulating;
her skin reddens on contact with most soaps (we've found exactly one shampoo that she can tolerate);
smells that other people don't even notice can set her off;
her body reacts to drinking water with even trace amounts of minerals in it (she uses distilled for most things)...

As for myself, I can get over-stimulated, but I'm not particularly sensitive up front. That said, I react fairly quickly and sometimes quite emotionally to really strong negativity such as gross injustice, horrible suffering, etc., especially regarding the treatment of children.

Dave

Interesting. Maybe I'm confusing sensitivity with sensitisation.

Your wife sounds incredibly in touch. I bet she's a great doula (we need more like her!).

 

[Ogion]

Haha, well, i don't know how you're gonna take it:
I scored 6 at that test...(Maybe i'm just ignorant?)

Hmm, nah, scream i wouldn't say, but yes, sometimes i like it to stay all day in my room and talk with noone (over written media its okay, just as long as it is without voice, and not personally seeing)...like today

Ogion

 

[deserthighway]

I'm not sensitive towards others. I've been called insensitive jerk and heartless monster more than a few times. I have grown to be better at recognizing signs of another person's emotion but I don't know how to respond.

I work at a hotel desk (I was desperate for a job) and at night I will occasionally get a woman walking into the lobby, carrying make-shift luggage, and looking distressed. They come and ask if have any rooms available and then proceeds to do the one of the few things that make me uncomfortable, they cry. They go into this story about a fight with a significant other or they are hiding from them. I empathize with them, they've been wronged and need support but not from me. All I can think is "Please stop crying, I'm not equipped to handle your emotional state. Go away and come back when you've calmed down."

I think my problem is that when I'm around others in negative emotional states I feel helpless that I don't know how to help them but want to. My other problem is that I know I am very unaware of the needs of the those close to me. I've been trying to learn. My girlfriend is an INFJ and extremely intuitive of the feelings of others. She knows when I'm feeling depressed before I realize it. She's been teaching me more about non-verbal and verbal cues that others might exhibit that could suggest what's going on in their head.

She's also thinks I'm a heartless monster when we fight. When we argue I'm coming from the extreme end of T and she is coming from the extreme end of F. It just doesn't work well and we are both stubborn. So we fight, not talk to each other, and then at some point agree to disagree. .

Now I'm all worried about working tonight (Sat night) because that's when I get the most 'damsel in distress' types.

Oh and on the test I scored a 3. I don't know where that really ranks beyond it's far flung from fourteen.


--David--

 

[Vrecknidj]

...
Pardon the minor thread derailment here.
...

Your wife sounds incredibly in touch. I bet she's a great doula (we need more like her!).

Yes, to both. And, thanks for the parenthetical comment. As I'm sure you'd expect, she swims against the current, not just in her field of choice (doulas are disregarded by many doctors and nurses), but also within her field of choice (a great many choose that path for reasons very different from her reasons).

As such, while she loves what she does, and every birth is stimulating and rejuvenating for her in some ways, they also demand a great deal of her and take quite a bit out of her as well.

So far, the balance has been in favor of the meaningfulness and satisfaction. But, there are days when putting up with less-than-courteous or less-than-honest medical pracitioners takes its toll...

Dave

 

[Vrecknidj]

I work at a hotel desk (I was desperate for a job) and at night I will occasionally get a woman walking into the lobby, carrying make-shift luggage, and looking distressed. They come and ask if have any rooms available and then proceeds to do the one of the few things that make me uncomfortable, they cry. They go into this story about a fight with a significant other or they are hiding from them. I empathize with them, they've been wronged and need support but not from me. All I can think is "Please stop crying, I'm not equipped to handle your emotional state. Go away and come back when you've calmed down."

So, here's some unsolicited advice. If this is wisdom, it's been purchased at great expense, so, please handle it with respect.

Often, what such a person needs more than anything else is validation. While you're correct in your assessment regarding not being the one to handle the person's current state, you are the one there. And, while it's inappropriate to assume the role of confidant or counselor, it isn't inappropriate to give that person the sense that her pain is legitimate, that her suffering matters and that in the moment that you and she share, that you will not belittle or invalidate her experience. I've often found (it's taken practice to get the words right, and they are, of course, highly circumstantial) something like this might help: "Wow, you look like you're really having a rough time. Would you like to set your things down and take a few minutes to collect yourself?" Even saying something like, "I'll keep an eye on your bags if you want to go use the restroom for a bit; don't worry about these things, take care of yourself." If these things are said the right way, you give the sufferer some power. When you tell someone who is clearly in pain that you see the pain, it helps. When you tell someone who is suffering that you can relieve a burden (even something as mundane as watching the bags), it lifts a little weight. Even though you aren't addressing the real weight, the real suffering, you're giving that person the space to work on it herself.

I think my problem is that when I'm around others in negative emotional states I feel helpless that I don't know how to help them but want to. My other problem is that I know I am very unaware of the needs of the those close to me. I've been trying to learn.

The desire is all it takes. You'll develop the skills so long as you want to help. It just takes time and practice.

My girlfriend is an INFJ and extremely intuitive of the feelings of others. She knows when I'm feeling depressed before I realize it. She's been teaching me more about non-verbal and verbal cues that others might exhibit that could suggest what's going on in their head.

I've learned an awful lot from the NFs in my life. They're an amazing resource.

She's also thinks I'm a heartless monster when we fight. When we argue I'm coming from the extreme end of T and she is coming from the extreme end of F. It just doesn't work well and we are both stubborn. So we fight, not talk to each other, and then at some point agree to disagree.

It takes practice, but, if you can monitor yourself when you find yourself sliding toward this state, you can rise above it, at least a bit. My wife is an INFP, and it's taken years of practice (sure, we still argue--all the time), but, our commitment to one another is bigger than our need to win arguments. At almost any stage in an argument, I can "step outside" of the argument--that is, I'm really stepping outside of Dave-the-arguer and back into Dave-the-husband--and talk to Carol-the-wife instead of Carol-the-arguer. And, of course, I can slip back into Dave-the-arguer and get back to the argument. This skill does not come easy, and it takes a lot of dedication, but, believe me, the payoff is worth it.

Best of luck.

Dave

 

[fullerene]

very nice advice.

oh and sorry lor... I would have shared my results too, but I didn't get that far. I opened the test, looked at the first question, and thought "I really don't know." Then I looked at the second, and thought "not sure about that one either." Then read the next 2 and thought they could easily go either way. Basically... I don't think I'm sensitive enough to judge whether I'm sensitive enough on any point to check the box. Since that's a kind of test that relies on your feelings relative to others, you really need to know how sensitive you are compared to others to answer it. I didn't think I was competent enough to get a score back that means anything, so I didn't want to throw off your results... taking a second glance at it, many of them could go different ways at different times (deeply moved by arts or music), and a one I flat out know I would answer wrong (like I don't think I have a complex inner life... but at least one of my friends has told me I do). Others I dull my senses and intentionally focus on something else because they're annoying (loud sirens and pain sensing).

Basically... I'm lost with that test. Sorry.

 

[loveofreason]

7, 6, 3 and a "can't complete"... that's it. Time I packed my bags and headed for Dolphin Cove .

Actually, I think I need to remind myself how situational sensitivity can be. And how sensitisation caused by repetitive stress or trauma can turn the world into a minefield.

Don't worry cryptonia that the questions didn't 'fit'

I was just looking for other anecdotes that being INTP and highly sensitive aren't mutually exclusive,

 

[Vrecknidj]

I was thinking about this thread again today. I was driving and the windshield wipers were moving back and forth across the windshield of my car. I noted then, as I often do, that the sound of the wipers is often more of a nuisance to me than the rain. So, sometimes I drive in light rain without the wipers. This makes my wife upset, but, it doesn't distract me as much as the wipers do.

So, that made me wonder about sensitivity some more.

Dave

 

[loveofreason]

In typical slow-motion response, I've realised what I want to add to this:

we've spent hundreds of thousands of years selecting for sensitivity, because it was the one with the best eyesight, hearing, sense of smell etc that lived to reproduce and keep it's babies alive in a world of physical dangers.

But now, to get by in a modern world of hyper-stimuli, we select for the dullest of senses and disconnected fight/flight responses, and this phase of selection has lasted how few years by comparison? Still, the most successful in this environment are those with the smallest biochemical response to stimuli.

I'm thinking of a stock-market floor as an example, or a crowded train, a packed cafeteria... all circumstances in which I would be reduced full-blown panic, because any and all of those noises, movements, smells etc could be the one(s) that signal an attack. It's a recipe for complete nervous meltdown.

How on earth do people actually survive rock concerts, let alone enjoy them ?!

I'm surprised how few people seem to suffer though, or report high-sensitivity. How ironic that what served us so well to reach this point is now a major handicap to survival in the world we've created.

I'm totally with you on the windscreen-wipers. I'll drive with the rain as long as humanly possible.

 

[PreAlgebra]

I find myself to be very sensitive to most stimuli in life. Most of this sensitivity is very positive in experience but a lot of the time it is not. Either way, I view it a providing a very dynamic and rich way of living and I am glad that I am a sensitive person. It does sometimes make it hard to simply function but I would not change things for the life of me.

I am finding it hard to distinguish or articulate what it is that I am exactly sensitive to. I am definitely sensitive to auditory stimuli, art, social stimuli and emotions, but my sensitivity extends way beyond these things and is complex. With being sensitive to emotions, its a funny thing because I am emotional and subtle emotions are intense for me, I just dont understand them and have a hard time distinguishing them.

I scored a 16 on the test but I thought that a lot of the questions were poorly formed.

LoveOfReason, in another thread, someone recommended that I take a look at this theory of Positive Disintegration. In there is an idea of overexcitability which I think you might find useful.

As for the Asperger thing, I have always been fascinated with autism and asperger and have felt that I can relate to people with these disorders very well. An INTP friend of mine has a brother with asperger syndrome. His brother really likes us where he is completely impartial to almost everyone else.

 

[Agent Intellect]

i find that alone, or in small groups, i'm not usually that sensitive. i can get lost in my own head so deep that everything around me almost disapears to me. it happens a lot when i'm driving. i'll just be going down the road and suddenly snap out of it and think "wow, how long have i been driving?"

on the other hand, in large groups and big parties, i either become hypersensitive (like loveofreason) and feel like i might panic, or i sink further into my head then normal and completely cut myself off.

 

[fullerene]

7, 6, 3 and a "can't complete"... that's it. Time I packed my bags and headed for Dolphin Cove .

haha you know, it took me this long to realize you were talking about the INFJ mailing list thing... I was so confused before. I've been poking around an INFJ forum because the type description sounded like... as far as you could get away from us while still understanding each other. They actually brought this test up too, haha... needless to say their scores were in the 2-5x range of ours. Anyway, someone mentioned dolphin cover there, and it rang an association with this in my head... so I looked it up, and lo' and behold, you make sense now

 

[loveofreason]

Don't I always make sense?

I read a few quotes from the Dolphin Cove thing and thought - that's just like me! I'm an INFJ! But when I then checked out the forum you mentioned, I just couldn't relate.

I want to break down the similarity/differences between INTP and INFJ when I get inspired. ( But now we have a real live INFJ here - maybe we can study her!)

I'm thinking now that hyper-sensitisation (is that a word?) is independent of MBTI type, but somewhat reassured to hear that Agent Intellect experiences it to. (Though not glad for you!)

 

[Wisp]

Waaaaait... who's an INFJ??

 

[loveofreason]

Shaz

http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=754

 

[Agent Intellect]

Shaz

http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=754

have we already scared her off?

 

[Shaz]

Haha, no, I just need time to read. Very interesting thread.

Looks like a lot of you guys are physically sensitive, rather than emotionally (I wonder where it comes from?). My boyfriend is a bit like that too. He absolutely hates crowds. He can also be a bit hypocondriac.


Needless to say about everybody in the INFJ forum scored high on that test. I scored 23.

I do enjoy rock concerts a lot though, because of the feeling of communion with others it gives me. I am very sensitive and yet I really like some particular types of stimulation I'm not talking about that (except when I'm in a bad period, in which case I just completely retreat in myself and wish I was a T - and my bad periods are very, very bad).

Most of the time though, I like my sensitivity. I love it, even. My mood can go very low, but also very high, to heights most people don't experience very much I think. I will be walking in the street, and a beautiful sky, or the smile of a stranger will just suddenly make me ecstatic. Everything suddenly feels like it belongs, my brain stops rambling, I see beauty everywhere, I just get high from life I guess.

For example a friend told me today : "thank you for listening to me" - that just put the biggest smile on my face and tears in my eyes.

Music in particular has an immense power on me.

I think I just have a much lower threshold to stimulation than most people. It's a burden and a gift. A lot of sensitive people seem to see it as a burden it seems. I guess it's because there are so many sources of distress to us. Just opening a newspaper is dangerous sometimes

 

[Jordan~]

The one "gig" I've ever been to was a Joanna Newsom concert. As such, it wasn't the most usual affair: There was quiet chatter before she appeared on the stage (we all laughed at her backing act, they were dire), then she sat down at her harp and said hi, and got a murmur of greeting back. Then the moment her hands moved to the strings, it was as though she wove a spell of silence over us: everyone stood transfixed - some mouthing along, staring at her fingers plucking at the strings until the final note - then erupted in rapt applause and cheering, laughed at the little jokes she made between songs, and fell deadly silent again as she started playing. Some people silently cried. So it went until she walked off stage, and we cheered nonstop for a good fifteen minutes. It was the most amazing thing I've ever see

My sensitivity is really an emotional response to physical stimuli. I can weep with joy or go into a sullen melancholy in response to a song or a painting or a garden or a poem.

 

[Wisp]

I saw shaz's thread after I posted here... s'ry 'bout that.

 

[Agent Intellect]

I do enjoy rock concerts a lot though, because of the feeling of communion with others it gives me.

Most of the time though, I like my sensitivity. I love it, even. My mood can go very low, but also very high, to heights most people don't experience very much I think. I will be walking in the street, and a beautiful sky, or the smile of a stranger will just suddenly make me ecstatic. Everything suddenly feels like it belongs, my brain stops rambling, I see beauty everywhere, I just get high from life I guess.

For example a friend told me today : "thank you for listening to me" - that just put the biggest smile on my face and tears in my eyes.

funny, i'd be plenty happy to go to a concert and be the only person there. i'm content to sit in my room and listen to music over my headphones anyway, i don't much care for concerts.

and if some stranger walking down the street smiled at me, id' probably either not even notice or assume they were a pervert or mildly retarded or something.

 

[Shaz]

funny, i'd be plenty happy to go to a concert and be the only person there. i'm content to sit in my room and listen to music over my headphones anyway, i don't much care for concerts.

and if some stranger walking down the street smiled at me, id' probably either not even notice or assume they were a pervert or mildly retarded or something.

Hehe that's why smiling to people in the street can be as depressing as it can be fulfilling sometimes. Some people just stare at you like you're some kind of freak. Still worth it to me.

As for the solitary music listening, I really enjoy it too. Very different... But at least I can cry as much as I want or get completely lost in my own world without caring about anything external.


Actually, things can be weird sometimes. I remember one day feeling extremely happy, walking home, staring at the sky, smiling... But then I saw a dead pigeon in the gutter. I just felt so bad for the poor thing. I wanted to cry.
Rollercoaster... Emotions can be really annoying too.

 

[Agent Intellect]

i guess i've never really understood peoples need to interact with a stranger they see out in public. sometimes i take a walk with a friend of mine, and if we pass by someone, they'll say hi to us, my friend says hi back, and i say nothing. my friend will accuse me of being an asshole, but i don't get why greeting someone i don't know is so important.

and, its funny to me, my girlfriend once told me that something like someone waving her through at a stop sign can really make her day because its such a courteous thing to do, whereas when someone does it to me, i usually think "christ man, you were there first, just hurry your ass up and go"

as far as dead animals found in the street or ditch, i don't think i've ever had an emotional reaction to it, although i do often wonder how it might have died. maybe i'm just a douche bag though, because i saw a picture of a dead cat with a sign next to it saying "free cat" and thought it was hilarious.

 

[Shaz]

He, I guess that's what having developed Fe or not does to you - Fe can be my weak spot, you guys probably have different kind of issues

 

[Jordan~]

I always have a strong reaction to death. Makes me feel terrible for the rest of the day.

 

[Agent Intellect]

I always have a strong reaction to death. Makes me feel terrible for the rest of the day.

i don't normally have a strong emotional reaction to death, but i always think about how i once knew that person alive, having a personality and interacting with me, now they feel nothing, that personality no longer exists. my cousin died after a year in a coma due to a drunk driver hitting her, and i just remember looking at her body and thinking "i remember when we beat Mario 3 together on the original nintendo, and now she feels nothing" but not really feeling particularly sad about it. maybe i'm just a cold hearted bastard that way, or maybe my mind just automatically supresses those feelings.

 

[Jordan~]

Oh, I mean the death of anything. I've never really had to deal with death like that, but I imagine I'd be sort of distant for a few days and then I'd get really emotional. I seem to have a long emotional reaction time for big things. When I went to Iceland, on about the second day I suddenly realised, "Hey, I'm in Iceland!" and when I went to see Joanna Newsom in London, it didn't really hit me until she was right there on the stage.
Come to think of it, the one time I have had to deal with death, that's what it was like. I was pretty young, I can't remember how old, about 5-7; and my gran died. My dad came back from the hospital and gently woke me up and told me, and I was too tired to really make sense of it. A few weeks later, we went to her house - I'm not sure what he was doing there, it was to do with selling it, I think - and when I was sitting in the car outside and looking at the door, I sort of realised that she wasn't there anymore. That was when it really hit me, I was in tears for the rest of the day.

With my really close relatives, I've no idea how I'll get over it. Seeing a dead pigeon can make me feel awful for the rest of the day, so when my gran dies, or my parents? I don't dare even to think about it. And that thing about beating Mario 3 together is almost making me cry!

 

[loveofreason]

Haha, no, I just need time to read. Very interesting thread.

Looks like a lot of you guys are physically sensitive, rather than emotionally (I wonder where it comes from?). My boyfriend is a bit like that too. He absolutely hates crowds. He can also be a bit hypocondriac.


Needless to say about everybody in the INFJ forum scored high on that test. I scored 23.

I do enjoy rock concerts a lot though, because of the feeling of communion with others it gives me. I am very sensitive and yet I really like some particular types of stimulation I'm not talking about that (except when I'm in a bad period, in which case I just completely retreat in myself and wish I was a T - and my bad periods are very, very bad).

Most of the time though, I like my sensitivity. I love it, even. My mood can go very low, but also very high, to heights most people don't experience very much I think. I will be walking in the street, and a beautiful sky, or the smile of a stranger will just suddenly make me ecstatic. Everything suddenly feels like it belongs, my brain stops rambling, I see beauty everywhere, I just get high from life I guess.

For example a friend told me today : "thank you for listening to me" - that just put the biggest smile on my face and tears in my eyes.

Music in particular has an immense power on me.

I think I just have a much lower threshold to stimulation than most people. It's a burden and a gift. A lot of sensitive people seem to see it as a burden it seems. I guess it's because there are so many sources of distress to us. Just opening a newspaper is dangerous sometimes

A rock concert is one of my worst nightmares. Can you really feel a sense of communion with humanity?


It eludes me so greatly that I'm even surprised to hear it mentioned... like it seems so bizarre to me that it can't possibly exist.

I feel a great sense of communion with the planet. The Earth is extraordinary. But humans? All I feel is alienation - perhaps I'm an alien.

Humans fascinate me in a detached, abstract way. Like ants. If only the damn things weren't biting me!

 

[NoID10ts]

A rock concert is one of my worst nightmares. Can you really feel a sense of communion with humanity?


It eludes me so greatly that I'm even surprised to hear it mentioned... like it seems so bizarre to me that it can't possibly exist.

I feel a great sense of communion with the planet. The Earth is extraordinary. But humans? All I feel is alienation - perhaps I'm an alien.

Humans fascinate me in a detached, abstract way. Like ants. If only the damn things weren't biting me!

Concerts draw people like moths to a flame. I don't think we INTP's are moths.

I have a friend who always wants me to go to the U2 concerts when they come into town. I like U2 and he even offers to pay, but HELL NO! He just can't understand why I don't want to partake of that mass love in. My dislike of crowds far excede anything U2 can do on stage.

 

[Agent Intellect]

the funny thing for me is i'd almost be more comfortable actually standing on the stage at the concert instead of being amongst the sea of people.

 

[Shaz]

beware : possible corniness inside

I think the sense of communion I get depends for a good part on the state I'm in (Ni dominant here). If I see a band I don't really care that much about I most probably won't feel it - but I pick the (very) few concerts I go to carefully, so that doesn't happen.

Funnily enough my biggest sense of communion came from a U2 concert. I can be a bit of a geekish fan, and I was really excited about the concert. I managed to have a front row spot, in the middle of other fans. At some point they sang a non-single from their very first album, and I realized the people around me knew the lyrics too! That just made me hysterically happy! Being around people who shared the same passion (most people my age don't give a crap about U2 which is fair enough) gave me an amazing feeling.

Later on during another song - beautiful and calm, people started getting their lighters out, people were singing quietly, carried by the music I looked around me and saw the thousands of little lights above me all over the stadium, it was such a strong symbol - I felt in total symbiosis with everyone else, out of time and of reality, just sharing happiness.

I think that's it. That sort of concert just drives me out of the harshness of reality. Everyone is there for the music, leaving their problems outside of the stadium.


--> Other people's emotions affect me, positively or negatively. If I help a stranger in the street I feel fulfilled. A smile makes me happy. You can imagine the effet 80 000 people enjoying the music I love can have on me.



edit : this said, I also feel alienated very easily. Humans as a group can make me feel somewhat disgusted, or frustrated very easily.

And the connexion I feel with the planet is generally stronger too - or at least it is easier to relate to the planet than to human beings. The feeling it gives me is quite different, more serene.

 

[NoID10ts]

beware : possible corniness inside

I think the sense of communion I get depends for a good part on the state I'm in (Ni dominant here). If I see a band I don't really care that much about I most probably won't feel it - but I pick the (very) few concerts I go to carefully, so that doesn't happen.

Funnily enough my biggest sense of communion came from a U2 concert. I can be a bit of a geekish fan, and I was really excited about the concert. I managed to have a front row spot, in the middle of other fans. At some point they sang a non-single from their very first album, and I realized the people around me knew the lyrics too! That just made me hysterically happy! Being around people who shared the same passion (most people my age don't give a crap about U2 which is fair enough) gave me an amazing feeling.

Later on during another song - beautiful and calm, people started getting their lighters out, people were singing quietly, carried by the music I looked around me and saw the thousands of little lights above me all over the stadium, it was such a strong symbol - I felt in total symbiosis with everyone else, out of time and of reality, just sharing happiness.

I think that's it. That sort of concert just drives me out of the harshness of reality. Everyone is there for the music, leaving their problems outside of the stadium.


--> Other people's emotions affect me, positively or negatively. If I help a stranger in the street I feel fulfilled. A smile makes me happy. You can imagine the effet 80 000 people enjoying the music I love can have on me.



edit : this said, I also feel alienated very easily. Humans as a group can make me feel somewhat disgusted, or frustrated very easily.

And the connexion I feel with the planet is generally stronger too - or at least it is easier to relate to the planet than to human beings. The feeling it gives me is quite different, more serene.

I really do love U2's music but here is a slice of what would be going through my mind during an event like that:

"I can't breathe...........did that asshole just spill beer on my shoes?.............This sweaty man is touching me.............I don't want this sweaty man touching me...............WHY IS HE TOUCHING ME!!...............Lady.....quit dancing...........you're getting on my nerves.......and you suck at dancing............God.........maybe she has epilepsy......I can't see..............This froofy headed bastard in front of me needs to pull that hair down because I can't see a thing..............Who sings that song?.......Oh, Bono?...........Let's leave it that way..........jackass!...............I swear to god I am suffocating.............that man is still touching me..............I swear if you don't stop touching me I am going to take that lighter and set you ablaze!!!!!!!!!................God how freaky would it be to just see this entire crowd go up in flames...............There is plenty of hairspray and lighters here to make that happen!.................This is the worst thing ever..........I'm leaving at intermission!!!!!!!!"

But that may just be me and not necessarily an INTP thing. Maybe some of the others can say yay or nay on this crazy bit of insight.

I have said it before and I will say it again: I must sound like such a nut job on this forum!

 

[loveofreason]

Shaz: I'm questioning whether I'm Ni dominant rather than Ti, so your perspective is very welcome.

I relate to the downside of sensitivity, but not the upside that you're relaying. This may be a matter of history and circumstances more than it is a reflection on function preferences though.

I'd have to say that if I can't reach a conclusion I should stick with INTP, which is my current 'solution'. Feel free to chime in on any of the other threads too. (<--calculated smilie to encourage you. Forgive the condescending gesture )

I second NoID10ts. That's almost word for word what I'd be thinking. esp. the "I can't breathe" bit... and the "did he just touch me?" bit and the "froofy headed bastard..." bit and all of it! Add "I'm going to faint, I feel so dizzy... it's too loud in here - I can't hear myself think! Let me out! Now! Where's the nearest door? How can I get there passing through the least people?... "

If you're a nut job NoID10ts, this forum must be Knobby's.

 

[NoID10ts]

It doesn't even take a big event like that to get me started down that road. All it takes is a trip to a crowded supermarket. If I can't go to a store at the crack of dawn or late at night, I don't go, unless I really have to.

or if my wife makes me

 

[Kidege]

In a rock concert I'd be too uncomfortable to think anything beyond "out, now".

I scored 16 in the test.
Annoying me's too easy.

Oh, and about physical stuff, I'm very picky about tastes. I can't stand some soups because of the texture (that mix of granulate with watery). And cotton's about the only kind of fabric I can wear.

@Love of reason: Maybe you're a nice INTP?