CROWDS AND/OR SOCIAL GATHERINGS.

[Melkor]

Ohkay.


Haven't noticed a topic on this, as of yet, and while I'm most certianly likely to be entirely wrong in thinking that it doesn't exist, I am going to pretend I have clever reasons for doing to anyway.

Well, though I'm not normally one to beg so endlessly for attention....
(HEY! Who sniggered!?)
I wanted to ask for advice, for once, and possibly help others in the process, by, you know, sticking all those wee thoughts together to make a half decent attempt at an answer.


I've always had, and I assume most INTP's do, a great problem with walking through crowds, and in general, simply being in a room or corridor that is filled with more than two people.


This hasn't really bothered me much in past life, because I've either had a handful of friends to hide behind (I do this subconsciously actually.No really!), or the workplace/school has had a structure that allows me to essentially hide.

But as I recently started Uni, I've been subject to both: one very large and wide corridow, which is pretty much the busiest place I've ever had to travel through, busier still than the city centre, and several -shudder- LECTURE THEATRE'S, which are essentially big rooms in which people are placed by sadists so that they might be forced to stare at each other and have awkward terrifying encounters while trying depserately to learn.


Meh.

To be honest, in either case, I just can't possibly stick it.


I'm not at all claustrophobic, I don't even beleive in santa claus, but in those situations I become incredibly self conscious, feel the need to hide myself/block out external noise with a loud ipod, and more often than not get those horrible shaky feelings and that bubble of air that seems to force itself into the chest cavity and make you giddy with fear.


It's really quite pathetic actually, but I have no control over it at all.

I'm simply asking if a few of you braver, (or older, as may be the case) INTP'S or other types with similar problems, had any such ways of preventing this, or lessening it's effect.

And no, medicines don't work in this case, and music is only a temporary measure.

Meh.

I think I have deeper problems, most likely a case of inferiority.

It's kindof unfair, but I seemed to be surrounded by beautiful people, and I just can't possibly make eye contact without hating myself.

BLEHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

[Cogwulf]

I don't like crowds, but I'm able to effectively phase myself out to cope with it. I can't really explain it, I sort of surround myself in a bubble and make that bubble exist in a different place.
Have you ever tried just looking above peoples head while you're in crowds

Only last night I was dragged off to a club, and most of the time there I had my thumbs through my belt loops and had my elbows jutting out to protect my personal space. I have quite bony elbows so there's probably quite a few people today with bruises

 

[Melkor]

Ha!

That sounds like a tactic.

I'm usually clutching my books with both hands and walking very fast with my head bowed, as though I'm about to tackle someone, so i don't know if that'll work.

But you must better explain your bubble idea.

I find it hard to ingore my surroundings through will alone.

Though, I tend to daydream a lot, which is confusing.

 

[NoID10ts]

As much as I hate you, Melkor, and shutter at the thought of being similar in any way to you (), I can relate to this totally.

For me, it seems to be getting worse as I get older, but it's been bad my whole life. These days, I either try and avoid those situations, or I go with someone I trust and feel comfortable with (I don't know why that helps, but it does). I guess for me, the secret is focusing on something other then the suffocating chaos around me.

I don't know why, but when I am in a crowd it just feels like complete sensory overload. Sometimes it borders on panic. I've considered carrying a cattle prod with me at all times, but apparently that doesn't go over well in a mob context.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Fear of crowds. Can't say I have that one unless they are all looking at me with expectations that I'm going to do or say something. Can't say I like being jammed in tight unless there's a good band playing really loud.

What kind of symptoms do you get? Anxiety? Shortness of breath? Cold sweats?

 

[Jon C]

I used to walk through crowds with my iPod roaring, but somewhere along the way I developed this phobia about not being able to tell whats going on around me in the midst of all these people. In high school I was not very social at all. I would walk through crowds with my head bowed avoiding eye contact with anybody. Recently (within the past year or two) I have developed my behavior in public space to the point where I am able to be social. Now when I say social, I don't mean like an E, I just mean that somebody from the large crowd could emerge and have a conversation with me, and I would be completely at ease. I think this all started becoming easier for me toward the end of high school. It was at this time when I first came in actual social contact with the "cool kids" in the school. It's not as if they thought I was non-existent, but my social outcasting led it to be damn near impossible. What I discovered after I got to know some of these "cool kids" and star high school athletes, was that they were just like me! When you're on the outside looking in its easy to put others on pedestals, especially when you're walking through a crowd; but after conversation, I came to the realization that they had inconsistencies and faults just like anybody else. I think the key to being able to control yourself in crowds and social gatherings, is having the ability to remove other people from that pedestal. I wrote an article on my blog that touched on this earlier in the year: http://chambersthepoet.blogspot.com/2009/05/pedestal-illusion-article.html

Since I have come to that realization, I am very comfortable in public space. In fact, when I'm at a place like work where everybody knows me and greets me as I walk in the door, my responsiveness may desire others to classify me as an E. I'm not sure if my rambling helped you any... but I tried...

 

[Claverhouse]

What's with all the CAPS ?

I've always had, and I assume most INTP's do, a great problem with walking through crowds, and in general, simply being in a room or corridor that is filled with more than two people.

Not really, I've never taken that much interest in random strangers even in large groups to feel anything except gentle pity, though I deeply mistrust crowds and dislike proximity --- however I always feel deeply outraged at anyone walking behind me, and will slip back behind them even if this means walking slower [ which it usually does ]; and I used to be far too shy to intrude by knocking on a door, a decade ago or more I went to join a local wargame group, and stood before the door an hour before leaving. Now, having been convinced of the average person's unimportance ( including myself ) I just wouldn't care. So shyness wears off.

But as I recently started Uni, I've been subject to both: one very large and wide corridow, which is pretty much the busiest place I've ever had to travel through, busier still than the city centre, and several -shudder- LECTURE THEATRE'S, which are essentially big rooms in which people are placed by sadists so that they might be forced to stare at each other and have awkward terrifying encounters while trying depserately to learn.

Try to give off an appearance of arrogant boredom. If you aren't blessed with this disdain, fake it.

I'm not at all claustrophobic, I don't even beleive in santa claus, but in those situations I become incredibly self conscious, feel the need to hide myself/block out external noise with a loud ipod, and more often than not get those horrible shaky feelings and that bubble of air that seems to force itself into the chest cavity and make you giddy with fear.

There's nothing pathetic about stress reactions. You must analyse these when they happen; control them by thinking of what matters to you, and how nothing other people think or do can affect you, nor do any other people matter unless you chose to make them matter. And I mean also that you should let those you deem worthy matter by your decision, but none of the others.

We are all inclined to imagine that strangers seen or met think about us: usually they are neither thinking about nor interested in us in the slightest.

Read some Marcus Aurelius. He's something of a bore, and a dreary pessimist; but just occasionally reading his pessimism will calm you and make you see how unimportant dross is. Reading the cadences of Sir Thomas Browne, the royalist physician from Norwich helps. Imagine the thrills of being surrounded by rural Norfolk people in the 17th century and count your blessings.

It's kindof unfair, but I seemed to be surrounded by beautiful people, and I just can't possibly make eye contact without hating myself.

*shrugs* Most people have this problem. Only about 30% of people range from slightly attractive to lovely, and the majority of those are women. The way to think of it is that if there is to be a standard of beauty --- which is a human necessity if you want art and stuff --- there have to be more homely people to fill in the lower end of the scale. Fortunately they are all compensated with good hearts or something.


Personally I would have traded 30 IQ points for perfect looks, it's not as if I couldn't lose three times that and still be ahead of the game, but we don't get what we want: we get the hand we are dealt.



Claverhouse



And as Marilyn says: 'Men grow cold as girls grow old. And we all lose our charms in the end...'


YouTube- Marilyn Monroe - Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend [WITH LYRICS]

 

[Linada]

I dont do crowds well. Mostly a noise and space issue. In extreme cases i end up in foetal position, trying to claw my ears off.
I usually just avoid crowds, or get myself into a reasonably undisturbed corner. Ordered situations, like lectures and conferences, are a bit better than unordered ones, like supermarkets, or a city on a saturday. I still get rather anxious, but at least there is an end in sight, usually in the form of a seat.

 

[Yellow]

I have learned to read whilst navigating busy streets and crowds. It is a difficult skill to master, and will result in a few minor injuries, but totally worth it. You can engage in your own little world, or someone else's as the case may be, and completely ignore everyone around you. In addition, it limits the number of people approaching you to those who have an interest in recreational reading (a very small number indeed). I have found that reading a book while waiting or walking really sends off a "she's [he's] a total nerd" vibe and as a result, you will cease to be visable to the majority of those around you.

 

[Kuu]

Now, having been convinced of the average person's unimportance ( including myself ) I just wouldn't care. So shyness wears off.

Definitely.

Crowds and people staring doesn't bother me anymore. They have the mindless stare of cattle. And they move in crowds like cattle. And sound like cattle. They're sheeple after all.

It's also important to realize that they actually don't give a shit about you. If you ask them what they think about you they'll probably go "I don't think about you".

I don't notice crowds anymore. The noise becomes background and disappears, and my sight gets lost into space as I daydream. And then suddenly I realize the class is over, or I've reached my destination...

 

[Chimera]

On the news one day, there was a traffic camera that caught a man getting run over in a busy city street...and though there were dozens of people on the sidewalks and driving past, no one stopped to help him. About twenty minutes went by before someone even thought to call 911.
This relates, I swear.
The average person is apathetic toward anyone not in their circle of friends. They don't care who a person is, or what happens to them. So in crowds, everyone you're analyzing, wondering if they're looking at you, thinking about you, etc etc...they just don't give a damn. They might glance at you once, maaaaybe recognize your existence as another sentient being, but honestly they have so many things going on in their life they're not going to dwell on you for long. And as soon as you realize that, really realize it, there's no reason to get stressed out. I agree with Claverhouse...people only matter if you decide they do.
Unforrrrrtunately, crowds are super overwhelming to people who are looking for acceptance, or people who don't want to be noticed at all. 'Cause acceptance-mongers are thinking "what can I do to be seen" and wallflowers are thinking the very opposite.
Ohh balls. I forget where I was going with all that. ]:< Something about recognizing general crowd apathy and putting on a "I don't matter to you, you don't matter to me" attitude. Generally keeps me level-headed and distant in crowds. Though, I have to confess, I'm a people-watcher. At school in the mornings when everyone is jammed into the cafeteria, I just watch the social interaction of everyone around me. It bugs my friends because I'm not talking to them, but the writhing mass of people is just so interesting...​

 

[Kidege]

Hi Chime, thanks for the example, made me think of this:

You see, I normally don't give a damn about crowds. I'm lost in my own thoughts or have stuff to do and I don't really see them. But ever since I had my brush with all things nasty, I feel lonelier in crowds... it's precisely because I could be killed without anyone stopping to help me. So sometimes I see "crowd" and think "lot of potential thieves/killers/indifferent assholes". And that's freaking scary.

 

[Latro]

A minor instance of social anxiety disorder, basically. The way I've gotten through it since not being medicated (when medicated I was OK without doing anything; I've been unmedicated for 4 years though) is to realize the thoroughly true fact that 99.9% of strangers do not give a crap about you. No, seriously. They don't. And none of your paranoia and discomfort will ever change that, until you start being visibly uncomfortable, in which case you need to seek professional assistance. Once you can get this drilled into your subconscious, which is easier said than done, I think you should be in good shape.

Pretty much what Chimera said.

 

[mormeguil]

I would just like to know what exactly you think is causing this discomfort in crowd?

Some people have said that they fear having people in they buble zone. Other the attention etc. But what is the sources of it all? Fear of being juged ? Simply a bad habit of not wanting to make eye contact?

Whats the underlying cause of all this? If the cause is found we can work on that aspect and improve it. (Personally most test says i'm an INTP, but I have been doing quite a bit of acting and improvisation so I just don't mind it.)

 

[Jaico]

Hmm...I don't particularly enjoy crowds, but it's not overly-disconcerting to me (unless people infringe on my personal space). I'm usually lost in thought when I walk from class to class; if there's a window, I'll stare out it as I move past and just see what comes to mind. Other times, I'll make up ridiculous explanations/dialogues for people/groups as they pass on by, or just think about why everyone always seems to be in a hurry (or maybe I just walk slowly ) - which always seems to end up with me contemplating human nature. I also like to play out in my mind what other people might think about me - and then disregard it entirely; I know that it sounds easy, but I've come to put little weight in the opinions of others who don't know me well. Actually, that last activity tends to put a smile on my face - if not for the fact that the descriptions I come up with are ridiculous caricatures of one of my physical aspects, then for the fact that there are people who are shallow enough to do something like that. In short, I try and make light/amuse my mind by observing others and creating humorous scenarios.

Again, I'm not sure if that's the best advice, but those are some ways I deal with crowded hallways...

 

[Cavallier]

I deal with the same problems. When I first started university I first discovered my issues since I hadn't really dealt with crowds much before that. I thought that I was claustrophobic but soon realized that my issues had to do with being in a crowd while also in a crowded space. Read: Elevators are hell. I take the stairs every time even if it's a 16 floor building.

Anyway, I've learned that elbows help. I keeps people away. If I feel like I'm being pushed along by the people behind me I will suddenly "accidentally" take a step backward and grind my foot onto the foot of the person behind me till they back up. I also stick to the back of crowds or waiting lines for classes. Although this leads to the problem of having to sit in a crowded spot in class when, if I had gotten in early, I could have claimed several desks with my pack and books.

I like a lot of the ideas people have mentioned here. Book reading, affecting a cool diffident manner, and enforcing your personal space are good ideas that I've employed. Mostly, I've found that with years of experience with crowds I've just learned to deal with it.

I still hate malls though and malls during the holidays leave me a gibbering wreck with my forehead pressed against a wall. *shudder*

 

[wadlez]

Introverts have been found to have higher levels of cortical arousal than extroverts. This means that when an introvert and an extrovert are in a boring situation, the introvert will always be stimulated so will be content, while the extrovert will need to do something to stay stimulated.
The down side to this for introverts is that they have the propensity to become quickly over stimulated when there is too much stimulation. An extrovert on the other hand thrives in that situation. This is why introverts have the need to withdraw.

Apart from being introverted INTP's do not like crowds of people as they are not taken in by the Feeling of situations, not takin in by group mentality or the emotions of the crowd. Intps do not like to be subjected to the world or its influences in any way, they like to be detached from the situation.

Not unique to INTP's is that everyone does not like to be alone in crowds. People do not like to be quiet without any friends in large groups of people talking and who are paired up with friends

 

[RubberDucky451]

I also have a problem with large groups of people. My cure is really good music. It probably doesn't apply to everyone but personally i find it very useful.

I have a night class that goes to 11pm at my community college and i love to roam around the campus with my ipod. There's not a soul around and there's something appealing about an empty college that's typically packed. Ah, tangent

 

[mfratt]

Brilliant thread.

When walking about in a crowd, I tend to never know what to do with my eyes and hands. Eye contact feels awkward and forced, so I've taken to either staring blankly ahead, at the ground, or by scanning my surroundings. The problem I then encounter is the feeling that people are staring at me. I know its completely irrational, and even if they were it shouldn't matter to me, but it bugs me none the less.

As for my hands, hanging freely at my sides feels unnatural when I walk, probably because I tend not to swing my arms at all when I walk, I just use my legs, but putting them in my pockets feels equally awkward.

The advice that has been posted seems awesome though. I'm going to start trying to apply it tomorrow.

 

[wadlez]

Its not a good idea to think about things you normally do automatically, such as where to look and how much you should be swinging your arms etc. If you relax you will do all this correctly automatically.
Experiments have found that people increase in self awarness when they are being observed, which results in more thoughts of how they are being perceived (clothes etc) and also if they are acting strange in any way. So its natural to start thinking about stuff like this when you are in a crowd, but will cause anxiety and can make you feel uncomfortable.
A good way to stop this is to count down from 400 in increments of 3 in your head or do some other problem solving task which requires mental resources. While doing these problems you will find that you have tuned out the self awarness thoughts which were dominating your mind. Do this succesfully enough and you will condition yourself to relax in crowds

 

[ifelloverboard]

I love crowds. Which is a bit confusing being as misanthropic as I am. I love control, or the illusion of control at least. Walking into any large crowd with confidence and controlling the situation. I find that when I go with a friend somewhere that I relinquish half of my control to them.

Most of the time I have no desire to talk to people and I will ultimately fade out. When I do engage I often have to play games to get through the mindless chatter. Maybe my name is "Georgio La Russa" and I'm here for business and will drop hints that I'm a contract killer. Other times I just ask everyone if they have a spoon or if they've seen my piglet I lost at the fair.

Ultimately it depends on what I want but being in control allows me to take whatever I want in any given situation rather than being a passerby that is a victim of the multiple variables in the room.

 

[Adymus]

Crowds don't bother me at all, in fact, I sometimes enjoy them. I am not sure if it has always been like that, or if it is just something I picked up from getting used to them at Concerts and raves and what have you. I used to be pretty self-conscious actually, but eventually I stopped caring, and from that point on social situations become somewhat dream like. Dream like in that I'll often do or say things to random people just to see what happens.

 

[Waterstiller]

Crowds were bothering me for the longest time (I stand out) but these days I can honestly say I don't give a fuck. The increased noise, movement, and staring is still annoying but I've been actively trying to block it out and detach myself from the moment. At a crowded DMV last week I just buried my head in a book and put my body on autopilot while I existed somewhere else. I go to disneyland fairly often too, with no worries aside from how many snotty kids touched things there. Sometimes I think I do pretty well for an introvert. Unless there's flourescent lighting or high pitched noises involved.

It's impossible to not give a fuck unless you've arrived at the point through your own means tho. Meaning it's completely worthless advice in all its forms for anyone to give.
​

 

[Agent Intellect]

I had to give a presentation in front of my English class today - I couldn't focus on anybodies face (and I even tried). It was strange how my mind detached so much, I can barely even remember anything I said. It's not even that large of a group, but the idea of being the center of attention is detestable. One of the problems was that much of what I had to say I had to come up with on the spot, which is something I'm not particularly good at. I thought I did decently considering I only froze up once, not out of fear really but unable to think of what to say next.

 

[walfin]

I actually like crowds. Love the anonymity.

And I like doing presentations in front of large groups too, because it's the only time when I somehow know what to say (without a script). With small talk I always wish I had some sort of a script.

 

[Waterstiller]

I had to give a presentation in front of my English class today - I couldn't focus on anybodies face (and I even tried). It was strange how my mind detached so much, I can barely even remember anything I said. It's not even that large of a group, but the idea of being the center of attention is detestable. One of the problems was that much of what I had to say I had to come up with on the spot, which is something I'm not particularly good at. I thought I did decently considering I only froze up once, not out of fear really but unable to think of what to say next.

In theory it's easier to give a presentation/speech for an introvert if they prepare well in advance to get used to all the different variables. Getting used to the environment is a huge help. Normally in an english class you're sitting down and it's really awkward to be above everyone else for the odd occasion you have to teach them. So try to get comfortable with standing up in front of an empty class (or a microphone or any other variable) before you actually go up in front of them to help it not be such an overly stimulating experience. (paraphrased from the highly sensitive people book)

We don't usually have to prepare for things.. but in these cases it really helps.

For me, I can remember this one time in Gamelan when I was on Kenong for the first time and the teacher didn't really explain what I had to do. I was supposed to play a foundational part and couldn't. And so he stopped the music and started giving me this looooong talk about how I should just 'get into it and not worry' but I couldn't get into something I didn't and couldn't understand because I was so freaked out. And everyone was staring at me. I was on the verge of crying. The next time.. I came in early and practiced silently by myself until I got it. But it was a matter of taking myself out of the din and the responsibility to explore and familiarize myself with all the variables.

 

[Adymus]

In theory it's easier to give a presentation/speech for an introvert if they prepare well in advance to get used to all the different variables. Getting used to the environment is a huge help. Normally in an english class you're sitting down and it's really awkward to be above everyone else for the odd occasion you have to teach them. So try to get comfortable with standing up in front of an empty class (or a microphone or any other variable) before you actually go up in front of them to help it not be such an overly stimulating experience. (paraphrased from the highly sensitive people book)

We don't usually have to prepare for things.. but in these cases it really helps.

For me, I can remember this one time in Gamelan when I was on Kenong for the first time and the teacher didn't really explain what I had to do. I was supposed to play a foundational part and couldn't. And so he stopped the music and started giving me this looooong talk about how I should just 'get into it and not worry' but I couldn't get into something I didn't and couldn't understand because I was so freaked out. And everyone was staring at me. I was on the verge of crying. The next time.. I came in early and practiced silently by myself until I got it. But it was a matter of taking myself out of the din and the responsibility to explore and familiarize myself with all the variables.

Group speaking is something I have become pretty good at. People who talk to me after I deliver a speech in a class or something are sometimes surprized that I am as reserved as I am, because I use a very "Fe" style of delivery to engage the audience (It is an inferior process, but we still have and use it. It is only a matter of summoning enough energy to really bring it out.)

Here are some techniques I use:

Get a good idea of the major points you are going to address, and preferably know the material well enough to improvise. You can even come up with some witty lines to say about each point beforehand. Right before going up visualize yourself speaking in front of the audience so you can pre-summon the energy you will need to actually go through with it. If you can, be funny, share something you found humorous about the topic. If you are confident enough, try and shock the audience somehow from the very start, this way you should have their attention through-out the whole presentation, do it again if you start to lose them.
As strange as this might sound (Probably not to an INxx), detatch from yourself. Forget about who you are, what your repution is, how you usually act around people, and what you look like, and then take everything you visualized youself doing, and just push it.

It will be much easier to get animated and confident in front of an audience if you are talking about something that really interests and stimulates you. My best speech was an hour presentation on Mythology and the meanings and psychology behind them, I actually had to shorten it when practicing behind I kept getting carried away.

 

[random extra #7]

I've never had a problem in crowds mostly because I just seem to blend into the backround but if someone were to directly address me in one I usualy freeze up for a few moments before I respond to them.

 

[warryer]

Yea I'm with random on this one, although his avatar tells a different story

I also freeze up if someone confronts me in a crowd, or even just catching me off guard when I'm off thinking about whatever around peaked my interest It takes me a minute to realize who they were talking to.

Sometimes when I am checking a girl out, they will catch me and look me back in the eye and then sometimes I get a full system shock, holy shit.

@Agent

I know what you mean. When I sit in class and the professor makes eye contact with me I completely forget what I was thinking about and cannot begin to comprehend whats being said. It turns into a game of whoever breaks first loses. I've only won once. Strange thing was that teacher could only hold eye contact with me for no more than a moment. Probably thought I hated him.

 

[loveofreason]

Introverts have been found to have higher levels of cortical arousal than extroverts. This means that when an introvert and an extrovert are in a boring situation, the introvert will always be stimulated so will be content, while the extrovert will need to do something to stay stimulated.
The down side to this for introverts is that they have the propensity to become quickly over stimulated when there is too much stimulation. An extrovert on the other hand thrives in that situation. This is why introverts have the need to withdraw.

Apart from being introverted INTP's do not like crowds of people as they are not taken in by the Feeling of situations, not takin in by group mentality or the emotions of the crowd. Intps do not like to be subjected to the world or its influences in any way, they like to be detached from the situation.

Not unique to INTP's is that everyone does not like to be alone in crowds. People do not like to be quiet without any friends in large groups of people talking and who are paired up with friends

I appreciate that you explained the chemistry behind crowd response in introverts and INTPs, and you did it well.

Hyper-sensitivity to stimuli has it boons as well as the downside, but trapped in a crowd and suffering, that hardly matters.

 

[bananaphallus]

It may be social anxiety, I've found myself agonizing for 15-20 minutes over the way I opened the door to a convenience store, or the way I've loaded groceries into the car (can't help but think everyone is watching intently). It's just this 'hyper-awareness' of even the most trivial things [see above] and it's infuriating - mostly for the fact that I know it's irrational and physically/emotionally draining, but I feel helpless to stop it.

Try to stay preoccupied with something, always thinking - detach yourself when you really need to. You'll probably never be able to do so completely, but it will help. I've also found trying to make myself laugh helps, thinking absurd thoughts or imagining ridiculous outcomes to things happening around me does well to ease the anxiety.

 

[letpassiondrive]

I'm having the same problem at University. I get really caught up in calculating how best to avoid embarrassing interactions when trying to weave through the crowd. So I use my conscious space to think about the reasons I'm going where I'm going, instead of how I'm going to get there. Then I snap out of it in my seat. If I'm in a crowd walking to class, I think about ten minutes from now when I'm going to be putting together my own conceptual frameworks to digest the info on the slides. If I'm walking to coffee, I think about having the coffee in my hand getting lost in a book. Keep your conscious in the Big Picture; trust yourself/ your subconscious to take care of the footwork. This works well because if I'm not in the house, there is always a very specific reason/identifiable goal; I'm sure the sentiment isn't altogether foreign to anybody on here.

 

[nevermindtime]

Try directing your over-analytical train of thought towards other people. It seems that since INTPs strongest attribute is thinking, that we don't realize how much other people simply DO NOT think NEARLY as much as we do.

Like most of you, I find myself in many awkward situations. When this happens you have to realize that we think faster than a conversation is happening, so we move on in our own minds only to lose track of what's happened in front of us. Solve that problem by taking a reality check. Simply to go with the flow with the conversation.

Recognize the direct cause and effect.

Cause: overthinking the situation
effect: awkwardness due to taking your attention off of the person.

 

[INTPINFP]

I feel like crap when I am walking in a public environment, with lots of people around me. I also feel like crap when I am alone and bored.

 

[severus]

I also have issues with crowds, but not anxiety. I don't worry about who's looking at me/thinking about me/etc. I just find all the noise and movement horrifically overstimulating. If you're with friends during this (or with a book or an iPod), you can focus on them, but otherwise there is nothing to block out all the "energy."

Have you seen this? It's been linked here before. I don't fit all of the things to be an HSP, but it certainly sounds familiar.