GarmGarf and
preilemus posts reminded me of things i'd forgotten about a long time ago. I remembered feeling shame in being smart in school and trying to supress myself. One time, maybe the first I
vividly remember was when I was about 5 in year 1 and Healthy Harold the talking Giraffe had come to teach us about healthy eating at school. I was at the front of the bus, next to the supposed talking giraffe... anyway he's doing his thing teaching all 20 kids about the magic of food and exercise and all that when I decided to grab the puppet and say "It's fake!", something we weren't supposed to mention or realise, I remember a few kids cried. I don't know why I did that, what did I care? I'd never gotten into much trouble before, but my teacher was furious and marched me into the old-kids classroom and made me stare at the wall infront of them. I remember being pretty humiliated. That might have something to do with keeping my shit to myself from then on. Even now I don't like sharing my work, fiction or non-fiction.
Fast forward to high school, I was in top level maths from kindergarten to year 9 when suddenly instead of being allowed to find the answers myself, I'd get in trouble and get PUNISHED in maths class for SOLVING THE ANSWER with the 'WRONG METHOD'. I shit you not I failed math after year 9 because I either didn't show/use working, or used 'INCORRECT' working to find the CORRECT answer. What the FUCK? This really pissed me off because I thought any method to find the correct answer is as good as another. I was proven wrong by being given detention after shouting matches with my teacher. You live and learn.
Then in year 12 Biology with my thirst for learning at an all time low, I had a teacher who I felt did not like me no matter what I did. She would always be rude to me, she wouldn't let me leave the class to goto the toilet (So I left anyway and she locked me out, SUCKED IN YOU CAN'T LEARN BLADDER BOY!)
I began to notice I was getting answers wrong when other kids in my class had written the same thing, huh, that's odd I thought! A friend of mine had stolen exam's answers for no reason and decided to give them to me which I was pretty happy about. Come exam time, I put the answers in my shirt and memorize as many as I can before the exam. I write most down but forget the rest, I give myself 17/20 for the multiple-choice and I estimate 70-80% for the rest of the exam after putting wrong answers in randomly.
I got 41%, and 17/20 in the multiple choice. Haha I hated that cunt of a teacher.