Types you attract romantically/sexually?

[GYX_Kid]

I've noticed a real ENFJ and ENFP trend in the females/people who find something attractive about their perception of me in person.

Also occasionally INFJ,
and ISFP/INTJ (but very briefly for those.)


What about you? Is there any type you think is a good idea to be with, or that you find attractive beyond the superficial?

 

[P.H.]

Most people find me attractive because I have big boobs.

The only people I know of who liked me for who I am were an INFP and ISFJ. They're usually introverts and feelers - oddly enough. I'm not sure if I could have a relationship with a feeler. Sure, they can be very attractive but as time passes I would definitely miss the "intellectual" debates.

The only crush I had beyond the superficial (I really don't find him physically attractive at all) is an ENTJ. He's very intelligent and confident, clearly knows what he wants and acts like it. I also like that he's more out there, as I am quite introvert and tend to keep my thoughts to myself. He's definitely the person I go to for an interesting conversation.

I also had a slight crush on the ISFJ who had a crush on me, but I think I liked the mental image I made of him more than the actual person he was. And even with that mental image I had a love/hate crush. He's quite mysterious and extremely closed, which acts on my curiousity, but it just absorbs my energy. So I found it very tiring to be around him or talk to him online.

The person I'm with now is probably an ISTP. I was physically attracted to him first because he's quite athletic - he's into freerunning and tricking, but as I've gotten to know him better I discovered he had way more depth than I thought. He's interested in physics and so am I, though he covers the more classical stuff and I like theoretical physics. Nevertheless we can have interesting conversations about ideas and I think our different point of views add up to that.

He's patient and can endure my raw emotional outbursts, and I'm very thankful for that. He doesn't really complement me emotionally, we're both low Fe's, but he is there for me and tries his best. We've gotten into the habit of telling each other how we feel and what we need emotionally to overcome our inability to do that naturally.

I'm happy with him and I can see us grow old together

So next to ENTJ and ISTP, I wouldn't know what other types fit me. I think I wouldn't want to be with an INTP because being with other types forces me to grow personally, and I think with an INTP I'd have the tendency to get stuck at where I am.

 

[Fukyo]

So far it has been Ni doms who were attracted to me. I'm drawn the most to them myself, because they intrigue me a lot, but I'm not compatible with all of them. I think in long term I'd be most compatible with other NTs. I think NFs with aux. Feeling would a second bet fit.

 

[Otherside]

Usually the crazy ones that cause a lot of chaos in my life.

 

[Minuend]

The more I actually hang out with people, the less I believe I actually am ENFP. (oh, two actuallys in one sentence!)

Oh well, I've attracted ---> INFJ, INFP, ENFJ, ENFP

I don't decide my relationships based on type, there are such huge differences within every type. I could be with both with someone warm and caring, and someone more withdrawn about their emotions. I've been attracted to both.

I would so do Fukyo.

 

[Fukyo]

I don't decide my relationships based on type, there are such huge differences within every type. I could be with both with someone warm and caring, and someone more withdrawn about their emotions. I've been attracted to both.

I would so do Fukyo.

Oh no, don't you dare.

 

[Cognisant]

I let my guard down more around Feelers, this could be attributed to their natures but think it also has to do with the fact that I think of them as "fluff people", that is to say I don't really respect their thoughts or opinions (regardless of gender), it's like interacting with an NPC, if I'm not engaged intellectually their thoughts and by extension their feelings aren't real to me.
(There are exceptions)

It must be baffling for them, incomprehensible that someone could put so much time and effort into a ruse, when in actual fact it's quite easy, my emotions are there and quite real; in Zen what you do is who you are, and what I do is a result of what I think, which has nothing to do with how I feel, how I feel has nothing to do with who I am.

Simple fact of the matter is that if someone cannot engage me intellectually then they don't know me, indeed if they're a feeler I doubt they're even capable of knowing me or caring about who the real me is.

Meanwhile I'll talk to Thinker women quite happily but I can never quite bring myself to ask them out, partly because I'm chickenshit, but also because it seems such a shame to ruin the detachment with a context like dating; what I love about Thinker women, especially the intelligent ones, is their rationality juxtaposed with their femininity.

I know this is borderline on a disorder but I assure you all I'm quite sane.
It's everyone else that's crazy.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

I haven't taken the time to study any other Types other than myself and my friend (whom I would never date if she was a dude--she's an ISFP), but I SEEM to attract IS- or INFP's even though I would prefer to be with someone like me even though that may only work in theory. I am currently also crushing on someone but the more I talk to them, the more I think they're not my type, but I like him anyhow. He probably is more superficial and sensitive (emotionally) than I could handle, but he seems witty and nice.
I would like to be attracted to that type long term, but I'm just not. As soon as men start making plans with me, I either feel (hesitantly) obligated to plan along or run away... I don't want a long term relationship yet, but once I get to the age where I think i should have one, I'll probably still not want one. lol
I think I decided I'm going to take on the role once held by men alone, and be "that friend"... the friend that you turn to for advice and with whom you have intelligent conversations, but wouldn't think of being with.... until....Eureka!
I'll be the epiphany waiting in the wings...

 

[kantor1003]

Drunk/drugged up women are the ones that most keenly show their interest. Sometimes revoltingly so. Yuk. Apart from that, I'd guess "feelers" or any female who can feed me something to work on without having to make too much of an effort trying to be something I think she looks for (i.e cases where I think that particular female is into a type of guy quite behaviorally different from myself). Keep in mind, I usually make a change not because I want to bed her, but rather because I want her and me to have a good time.

 

[Minuend]

I let my guard down more around Feelers, this could be attributed to their natures but think it also has to do with the fact that I think of them as "fluff people", that is to say I don't really respect their thoughts or opinions (regardless of gender), it's like interacting with an NPC, if I'm not engaged intellectually their thoughts and by extension their feelings aren't real to me.
(There are exceptions)

Exceptions? Like yourself?

 

[EyeSeeCold]

ESTP - I have this meditative/calming presence that they notice and are drawn in by. Though they are shy themselves in a way, so I have to do work also.

ENFP and INFJ - I don't act juvenile and don't tolerate nonsense from others, thus I exude maturity and tend to form a barrier / sphere of seriousness. They've been attracted to me by this as a social atmosphere preference and as a personal character trait.

ESFP - I'm just quiet and mysterious and they tend to come over and engage me out of humanitarian motivations.

 

[Cognisant]

I was thinking Auburn actually.
INFP in denial that he is

Exceptions? Like yourself?

No I am not the exception and that's exactly my point, I do feel emotions, I'm not repressing anything, if I feel happy I behave happily, but emotions are such fickle things, enjoyable at times, but easily influenced.

Now I noticed that my opinions would change with my mood and I don't like that, it harms the validity of my sense of self; although I have no faith in an inherent self (a soul if you wish to call it that) I still wish to posses a singular congruence of self within my own mind, artificial as it may be at least I can have it.

That consistency means my will (who I am) supersedes what I am, so I can claim (or at least justify to myself) that to some extent I'm not just an allegorical leaf blowing in the wind, that I can control the only thing I can hope to really have control of: myself.

Or maybe I think too much

 

[Puffy]

^ I just wouldn't want you to miss out on all the feeler intellectuals out there. (;

Okay, that sounds only a tad perverted. >.>

 

[tepellian]

^ I just wouldn't want you to miss out on all the feeler intellectuals out there. (;

Okay, that sounds only a tad perverted. >.>

The one person I've ever attracted, I was aware of, and I liked, was most likely an INFJ. And quite the intellectual.

Other than that, that I know of, I've attracted a probably-ESFJ nightmare, and an INFP. I don't seem to attract many people, not that I'd realize it if I did and they never spoke up.

 

[Cognisant]

Is anyone else wondering why he quoted Puffy?



Interesting...

 

[Fukyo]

Puffy is an INFJ. ^

 

[Agent Intellect]

Past girlfriends with confirmed types: INFJ and ENFP.

There are two that I've been talking to lately, but I don't know what I'd type them for various reasons: One has severe synesthesia, so that ends up coloring her personality quite a bit (pun intended) and the other is on HRT which tends to alter peoples personality somewhat.

One theme that has permeated my experiences with females is that they all seem to be artsy types. For some reason artsy women seem to like me.

 

[Cognisant]

AI too, wow Puffy gets around :smiley_emoticons_mr

 

[Anthile]

All people are attracted to me since I'm not only incredibly handsome but also charming and almost intelligent.

 

[Melkor]

The only type that's attracted to me is FLIES.

Everybody else thinks I'm an ug-mug.

 

[tepellian]

Is anyone else wondering why he quoted Puffy?



Interesting...

Purely because of the mention of "feeler intellectuals", seemingly related to INFJ-ness (feeler, intellectual). Did not mean to leave in the second line.

 

[Melllvar]

Simple fact of the matter is that if someone cannot engage me intellectually then they don't know me, indeed if they're a feeler I doubt they're even capable of knowing me or caring about who the real me is.http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlySaneMan

Meh, I used to think the whole "Intelligence is the biggest turn on" thing but in retrospect I've decided that's totally not true. Well, I don't know about "turn on" but if I'm going to spend a lot of time with someone, let them into my life and get emotionally invested, so to speak, intelligence comes pretty low down on the list of desirables compared to more basic things like are they capable of having a reasonable relationship with someone based on equality, honesty and mutual respect, which apparently seems nearly impossible for 99% of the world. I mean some of the most intelligent, funny and fun-to-be-around people I've met were also the biggest lying, scum-sucking pieces of shit who I wouldn't trust two inches with a knife to their back. On the other hand I barely have anything in common with my closest and longest-term friends - honestly I frequently have to "dumb down" the things that I'm naturally inclined to say because I know they just have no idea how to react when I respond to something they said with a big spiel about <whatever>.

The kind of thing where maybe someone saw a Star Trek episode and had some idea about the warp drives, and I could immediately start going into stuff about the Alcubierre drive, spacetime metrics and negative energy, etc., but I know they'll just think I'm showing off or bragging so instead it just comes out as "Yeah, there was actually a scientist who proposed a theory for how that could really work." Meanwhile inside the stuff about spacetime metrics is just beating at the walls to get out.

^That kind of thing is not ok with me, I mean someone should at least be able to put up with me liking the things I like. I have no problem listening to some girl talk about music and football if that's what she's into, sure maybe I'll change the subject eventually when I get bored, but little things like that which will become bigger things over the course of any long-term relationship are way more important to me than whether they actually ever understand or care about physics or not.

@OP:
As for the type preferences, I can only say that I think in every (remotely successful) romantic/sexual interaction I've had type could really not have played any role. In most situations because it all happened too fast, I mean sure maybe we dated for two years and our types had a lot to do with how well we got along, but that had nothing to do with the original attraction or how we got together. Cases where type/personality would have factored in to it either never work out or don't really apply because the interaction was under some other pretext. (I think the big dating websites even claim that almost everyone is primarily concerned with race and appearance, regardless of what they claim about "personality" and "intelligence" and stuff.)

I imagine dating a really cool ESFJ (or whatever) would be like coincidentally meeting an awesome person from a family of religious fundamentalists. They're out there, probably, just outliers compared to most so it's not a good thing place to look.

 

[Puffy]

AI too, wow Puffy gets around :smiley_emoticons_mr

Just for you INTPf.

 

[Puffy]

@Cognisant Sorry I never got around to PMing you, just, you know, feeler and all.



Why oh why was Cognisant too to recognise me, to love me

To...

Spoiler

I'll go back to my emoto-cave now and come up with something to cry about.

We have no crying Smilie? wow. Okay instead.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Would be useful information to know, I'd like to observe and see if I can find out.

 

[Cognisant]

@Puffy
Cannot see image.

@Melllvar
It's not how intelligent they are that's the issue, we all have brains, when some genius pops up you can study their history and see that there's usually obvious environmental factors that led them to developing that way, a musical prodigy for instance growing up in a house full of music.

Likewise I don't really mind if a girl doesn't know the ins and outs of robotics, I have no expectation of finding someone with the same obscure fascination as I. But what I do want is a girl who I can talk to about such stuff who will be interested, y'know not just humouring me for the sake of conversation, someone who understands that what is important to me should be important to her too, as likewise I will make a point of finding out what's important to her.

Without that I can't share what I'm thinking with her or understand what she's thinking either, in which case any relationship is a meaningless superficial farce, an arrangement of convenience for the sake of banal desires, which may be good enough for some and it may even suit me in the short term, but it's not what I really want.

In life's journey is she going my way, does she even know, does she care?

 

[Puffy]

^ Don't worry it wasn't offensive, the joke is ruined now though, so I won't repost.

 

[Minuend]

@Cognisant Sorry I never got around to PMing you,

Obligatory cough

Also, fuck stereotypes. I think I will put that on my front door

 

[Puffy]

@Minuend I know you won't believe me, but I was actually about to respond to you before reading this.

 

[Melllvar]

@Cognisant
Makes perfect sense. At least if you're one of those kinds of people, since we're all just biological creatures doing our thing I imagine some subset of the population has preference for longer-term matings/courtships of that nature and others prefer the more fast-food style. (Not to downplay the higher-level psychological aspects involved, but that is biology and such in the end, after all.)

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I'm an INTP male, and so far, I seem to have attracted mainly these types:

ENFJ, ENFP, and ISFJ.

I am not too fond of ISFJs though. They have this mother-like quality about them that kind of intimidates me. Very clingy.

As you said earlier, INTJs and ISFPs seem to be quite attracted to me at first, but my romantic slowness quickly puts them off. Which is sad, because I tend to be attracted to ISFPs. Oh well.

 

[GYX_Kid]

I'm an INTP male, and so far, I seem to have attracted mainly these types:

ENFJ, ENFP, and ISFJ.

I am not too fond of ISFJs though. They have this mother-like quality about them that kind of intimidates me. Very clingy.

As you said earlier, INTJs and ISFPs seem to be quite attracted to me at first, but my romantic slowness quickly puts them off. Which is sad, because I tend to be attracted to ISFPs. Oh well.

I was about to say ISFJ too. But so far it's been one girl online, who did though stay attached for quite a while

 

[BridgeOfSighs]

I find the E's and F's mostly attracted to me, and they'll typically be who I date. Half the time I want to tell them to stop feeling and to stop touching me.

I've tried to be attracted to I's but ultimately it dissolves into both parties never talking to each other.

I guess my ideal mate would be another INTP, ENTP or INFP .. I've never dated one but I have male friends who are. And I'd rather just keep them as such with risk of messing up anything. Oh, and having a boyfriend thing kinda stops that, too..

 

[lucky12]

INFP: she always clashed with my views and asked me to change.
ESTJ: I find they are interested in me and that quickly fades. I always go for athletic types.
ISTJ: I think she came on to me a few times because we couldn't establish verbal communication very well, I really don't mesh well with sensors so I kind of drifted away.
ESFP: Currently there are two of these. Limited contact, more to come.
ENTP: One hanging around school I have a huge crush on, strangely enough we hit it off when she sat next to me and we were pitted against a huge group of ISTJ/ESTJ males. They were having this argument over credentials and how theories were useless, some SJ shit.

 

[scorpiomover]

Types I think were attracted to me at some point:

INFJs.
ISTPs.
ISTJs.
ENFPs.
ENFJs.
ESFJs.

There may be more.

(I think. I didn't really ask them their MBTI type.)

What about you? Is there any type you think is a good idea to be with, or that you find attractive beyond the superficial?

I like the intellect of INTs. I like the openness and positivity that swarms from the ENFP.

 

[snafupants]

All people are attracted to me since I'm not only incredibly handsome but also charming and almost intelligent.

You sound like the full package...unit...sorry.

 

[Pyropyro]

No idea who I attract, I'm quite oblivious on the attention of females on me

An ideal mate for me is an INFP or INFJ who shares my own values. INTJ's have their own unique hotness but I prefer them as big/little sisters and/or intellectual sparring partners.

 

[snafupants]

No idea who I attract, I'm quite oblivious on the attention of females on me

An ideal mate for me is an INFP or INFJ who shares my own values. INTJ's have their own unique hotness but I prefer them as big/little sisters and/or intellectual sparring partners.

So sexual mate and intellectual sparring partner and companion are inexorably separate domains? Waters which should not flow into each other? I would prefer all three in one girl (the holy trinity, so to speak) but that may be asking for the moon. I mean, why not treat the whole shebang like a convenience store: your one stop shop?

 

[Pyropyro]

So sexual mate and intellectual sparring partner and companion are inexorably separate domains? I would prefer all three in one girl - the holy trinity, so to speak - but that may be asking for the moon.

Well if they exist I'm going to find them *equips swag*

 

[snafupants]

Well if they exist I'm going to find them *equips swag*

I know they're out there, but because of my own intellectual idiosyncrasies and personality quirks and the rarity of independent and smart girls, the connection is extraordinarily hard to muster. Recently I've actually contemplated being brutally honest via some online medium and hoping for the best. Doing that in real life is too painful and alienating and emotionally taxing given the near impossible odds; the payoff would be pretty huge though. The girls I have attracted in the past were quite beautiful, but also daffy, and on the whole (dumb pun) quite forgettable and daft. Hope springs eternal...

 

[GYX_Kid]

No idea who I attract, I'm quite oblivious on the attention of females on me

An ideal mate for me is an INFP or INFJ who shares my own values. INTJ's have their own unique hotness but I prefer them as big/little sisters and/or intellectual sparring partners.

How do you intellectually spar with an INTJ without hitting an impossible wall?
I dunno, all the ones I've argued with were so militant about their beliefs until I was able to identify their fear or fixation which rooted their theory. Interestingly, they'd probably say the same exact thing about INTPs. Must be a lack of appreciation for Ne, versus Ni, or something. Ne is moar objective >_< #donotcare

Anyway, I've also never really found an INFP to share values so much either. They despise confrontation and want me to be "cute." And they have their own very specific style of certain things, which they secretly want to impose onto me. ENFPs less so, in my experience, for some reason.

 

[Pizzabeak]

I've recently met a few women & am interested in figuring out what type they are, although one of the three is definitely on a friendship level I know is INFP, supposedly..

 

[Pyropyro]

How do you intellectually spar with an INTJ without hitting an impossible wall?
I dunno, all the ones I've argued with were so militant about their beliefs until I was able to identify their fear or fixation which rooted their theory. Interestingly, they'd probably say the same exact thing about INTPs. Must be a lack of appreciation for Ne, versus Ni, or something. Ne is moar objective >_< #donotcare

Spar in areas that they're comfortable with. My INTJ friend argues with me and with her INTP crush on various areas except religion and romance (with the crush of course, we freely share info on this area).

Perhaps I just play differently. I play to learn more info or refine existing theories, I never played to win them over. They can't see my side anyways.

 

[nitemare121]

How do you intellectually spar with an INTJ without hitting an impossible wall?

i have an INTJ (if not two) friend(s) that i spar with all the time. the one that i know is an INTP i tie with on everything. i have not actually come across this problem.

as for the whole thread topic i know of on ISFJ of whom was attracted to me. as for the other females i don't know, i've only recently started getting into these things, but i do find that our ablities to learn new things and our many intrests (or is that just me?) makes it quite a bit easier to attract all types.

 

[Kei Kei]

My loyal boyfriend, an extroverted type.

 

[lynch]

I'm a female INTP and have always attracted xSTJS; however, before I met my husband, I'd only dated xNTJs, mostly INTJs though. Something about INTJs would grab and hold my attention, but in the past, the romantic side of relationships with them never worked out. Before I knew about MBTI, I'd grown tired of the same problems in relationships with my exes (xNTJs) and decided to go for something different. I ended up dating and then marrying an ESTJ and, 10 years later, though our personality differences have sometimes caused problems, we are still very much in love and are very happy together now that we understand the reasons for our differences.
My current best guy friend is an INTJ and we fight...a lot. Though of course neither of us takes it personally. I would say that my INTJ friend tends to be attracted to ENFJ/Ps, but he definitely attracts many ESFJ/Ps, whom he has little to no romanfic interest in.

 

[Darby]

Bad with typing, but I think the only common element is XXFX. It's very difficult though, because when I see girls on the street who I'm attracted to, it's always very quiet, very shy girls. I think part of it is that even if it's a formal situation, that moment, because we're both not social people, is shared just by the two of us. However I've never actually been brave enough to ask any of these women out.

However, when something happens with a friend of mine, it's almost always with more fiery, emotionally charged people. They give me something to think about, and get me emotionally charged, which I need help with because I don't have a lot of experience dealing with that part of myself. I also think a lot, and give a balance to their fire. Ultimately, I get hurt, as I'm a very rooted person, and it often gets to the point where I just start to hold on and try to let the emotional storm ride out.

I see myself as a very open and tolerant person, and I invest a lot of time and energy into my relationships, I think they are all great learning opportunities. So because I'm as open as I am, I don't have a singular type that I'm interested in, however, it definitely seems that at the very least, I need an XXFX, just to help me take care of my emotional retardation.

 

[xbox]

ISTJ: too religious for me, also close-minded (think republican christian). Also he felt the need to save my soul.

ESTP: into sports, wanted attention that I wouldn't give, so we parted ways. It bothered him that I was too lazy to text him. (they want their girls to be clingy).

Recent friend: I'm not sure how to type him. Describes himself as introspective and introverted, writes and plays music, into literature. Not sure if he's INTP, or INFP, or INTJ.

 

[MissQuote]

I really have no clue and I guess it doesn't really matter since being married and wishing for that to remain a pleasant situation more than an unpleasant one prevents any opportunities for exploring the people who notice and find me attractive.

 

[Urraco]

A lot of Sensors. I think it's because I intrigue them or something. In fact they tend to be opposites a lot of the time, or at least XSFX.