fuck. im so lazy beyond anything u can imagine even if i look like the opposite.
i recently joined an art discord chatroom made by a collective of artists (5 guys i think) that have around 30.000 followers each on instagram. they wanted us random followers to join and chat with them to improve our skills, or so they say.
been there for 3 days and i'm already tired of art, they only talk about art, they eat photoshop for breakfast, their selfies they paint in big canvases, every joke, every meme, everything is about art, to me it's pure dementia. they don't even have a "what are you listening to" thread.
i posted like 3 drawings receiving good criticism but i notice that there's a lot of personality power being displayed and hidden fashionable-cool-not cool inner struggle in their stuff and their talk. add the fact that these people have been studying art in university for 5 years. these people are truly obsessed about it. it's like when i go out with my elite physiotherapist friend who's friends only talk about physiotherapy. actually that's why i don't go out with him anymore.
look i'm not judging them or smth, i'm trying to rationalize what i'm seeing.
no wonder why they are so good and why i'm not yet at their level, but surprisingly, i don't think that my stuff can't compete with theirs.
still, that's why art will always be a hobby for me, or like a personal goal, not "me the artist living the artist life", but more like let's make a cool looking painting.
also wtf, i'm grooving to this shit
at the end life is all about having fun, and if for me having fun is going out, having drinks and meeting girls and people, then be it. if it's about travelling, then be it. but for sure it's not about reaching the elite of painters, because it's driving me a bit insane.
tomorrow, i'm meeting a friend girl, we'll do smth normal at night. need fresh air.
but then at the same time, i know i'll keep obsessing over getting better and won't leave the group, because i know i can't stop.