So, here's the question for everyone. What are the things you really want in life? What do you hope for? Dream for? The more honest and impossible/true, the better...
Also, the counter-point of the thread... what do you really anticipate receiving and accomplishing? What do you actually expect in this life?
I decided to reply before reading anything but the first post. I'll go back and read when this is over.. and it's probably gonna end up a bit long.
My wants, hopes, dreams that I think are most valid and consistent through out my life revolve around my creative endeavours. I firmly believe that I could make a better movie than 99% of what's out there if given the chance to direct. (a bit narcissistic yeah, but the good kind I think) If I could do anything in my life that would be exactly it.. direct a movie with an appropriately massive budget. My writing is a point of constant frustration.. very few people tend to get my point when I write poetry.. and the poetry of mine that has been published I believe was done so only because it has many possible meanings, which allowed more people to grasp onto something from it (though rarely the main point I wanted to make). I would like to find an audience that gets it, though you'd have to try very hard (only after the arduous task of gaining my trust) to get me to show you any of it. I think the reason I don't like to show and tell with my work (at least with people I can put a face too) is that I never get the response I wanted.. normally just meaningless subjectiveness. When I do get positive, worthwhile responses, its normally for something that I feel like is shit. I'm working on adapting my work to a broader audience, but so far I haven't had a significant amount of luck in doing so. My dream/fantasy I guess is that somebody will publish a book or two of mine, and some influential people/critics, will teach them how to read it and tell them how great it is - all without having to show my face.
I'm not particularly concerned with money or material things, though I wouldn't mind being rich as long as I didn't have to be famous as well. That being said, if I had a million dollars it would probably be gone in a month.
What do I actually expect in life? I tend to be blessed quite often with great things, great friends, great gifts, et cetera that I did not expect. When I do set goals they have a strange tendency to be fulfilled without any effort on my part... for example, a couple years ago I set a goal to visit Japan in the next 4 years, and expended no effort in achieving it. Just recently I was given the opportunity to live in Okinawa for 6 months or so without any monetary investment on my part.. just a job to do when I'm there. Or, I wanted a specific pair of boots, and they were given to me out of the blue by somebody I hadn't talked to in years with no strings attached.. and they had a $600 dollar sticker (they didn't stretch when he thought they would and he somehow remembered that I wear the same size 12EE). Some of my friends seem to almost idolize me at times, which I am mostly confused about. People I rarely talk to want me to go on road trips with them, and they offer to pay for my part since I normally have no money (though I do always manage to have cigarettes). The reason most often given for this treatment is that I say interesting things - what the F else am I supposed to say? Something boring?
What this is all getting to is that my expectations are normally set lower than what I receive. So, while my expectations are to die of a drug overdose or give up on people and become a hermit somewhere in the Rocky Mountains where I'll die of hypothermia, I half way know that there is something better waiting for me, though I have no clue what exactly it is. I have a kind of pessimistic hopefulness about life.
Of course, try to inspire non-violence and peaceful nature... We need more people like that in the world.
