This is going to be a rather long post for me, recounting some dreams here:
First off, I had this reoccurring childhood dream.
It'd start off with me playing in my room, eventually I'd start jumping on the bed (which I never did IRL, oddly enough.) While jumping, I'd see this vent up in the corner of my room above my bed (not actually there in real life either, but the rest of my room was identical seemingly...). After some random amount of time, never too long and never too short, I'd eventually bounce high enough and sort of half fall into it, the metal grate that was covering would simply disappear, not really magically, it'd just be gone, like it fell or was knock in underneath me and ignored. I'd then crawl down the tunnel and realize it went way longer than my house. I would always take a few turns, and come upon a grate going up outside, I'd push it aside and climb out into this crazy new world. It'd always be a theme-colored world, something like warm or cool colors, or shades of a certain color, but it'd always have some sort of artistic association. I remember the grass being a healthy blue once, a healthy but abnormally vivid green, a healthy but abnormally vivid yellow one time - the colors were always extremely vibrant, like neon or like a marker vs colored pencil is potency.
I'd start walking across the prairie, looking around a ton. The sky was always a dark shade, like midnight, not necessarily black, but not blue, just a lot of darkness. Never sunny that I can recall. I'd eventually come upon a road, and sometime along that road a patrol of armored knights with medieval weaponry would ride up and hold out their halberds or swords to keep me from escaping, I'd always be surrounded and questioned, but I would look so outlandish and crazy to them. Sometimes they'd take me as prisoner, escorting me straight to the queen for judgment, other times they'd allow me to walk freely into town, often times it would be 'prophesied' that I would show up and they'd allow me to pass due to that at times. I would always have to go straight to the queen though. I remember as I walked through the city I'd be shocked, because it looked practically like a mcdonalds playpen. The rooms were very large balls, and connecting the balls were tubes, always following the proper color scheme of the world. I'd come upon a castle, where I'd be dragged / escorted / held at swordpoint to the queen (it all depending on the tone of the dream, it always varied.) The queen would always be an epic moment in the dream, and it would always be whoever I had a crush on at the time. I'm pretty sure it was how I felt about her that set the tone of the dream, aka, if I liked her but she was kind of a mean type person, then the guards were rough, the colors were more malevolent, etc, if I liked her and she was kind, the guards were kind, the colors were cool, so on.
A discussion would take place between us, whereupon the result was always the same, I would be sent on a quest, and if I came back successful she'd allow me into the city (and there was always a hint of romantic potential :P). I never actually dreamed, or if I did, I could never remember it, the actual quest and actions during it, it would just fast-forward to me being victorious, her falling for me and making me some sort of honorary knight and the city being open to me and treating me like a hero.
And then the dream would end, I think sometimes I'd either wake up in the dream in my bed, or I'd head back out to the prairie / hills to find my home again. I had this dream essentially once a year when I was in elementary school, every time my crush would change, the dream would come again at some point.
(Hilarious side note: I fell asleep while typing this, and woke up to having like 6 pages of "d's" pressed after my last sentence XD. I woke up to a dream of my coworker wanting to give me his number, since I was quitting my job and he wanted to stay in contact / hang out, even though we never did while I worked there X.x)
Another dream I had the sense enough to actually write down, I'll copy and paste here, not sure how well edited it is and don't feel like going over it after all this typing :P
it starts off where I am working at the grocery store like usual, but then I go on break and have to go to class, in the store. So me and several other workers / students are working on an assignment, which is to write an anonymous appreciation for our teacher, mr. christensen. I'm having troubles writing, so a cute classmate helps me out by showing me hers, which inspires me to erase what I was working on (a random doodle involving musical notes) and to write a poem I'd been thinking of in real life. Since my teacher was an english teacher, he'd appreciate good poetry, and mine would be good and insightful. It moves forward and I'm sitting with my friend in a truck, and we're going to steal some goods from the place I work at, only, it's no longer a grocery store but a construction plant, and we're stealing these bags of pink sand and lumber. I'm calmly helping him, but upset with him for his immorality, but my loyalty forces me to help him. A manager/fellow teacher (leadership role) person was sneaking up on us and heard our voices, and recognized mine, but I was no longer me, but Mr. Christensen, which horrified her not only because I worked with her / under her, but I (and mr. c) are both supposed to be extremely moral people, who wouldn't steal. We drive down to this river under a bridge, and he starts tossing the stolen goods into a pile that's falling over into the river, and I just blow up at him over the wastefulness of his throwing it all away, the pointlessness of our stealing it, but he's just 'making a stand' against the company, which, I disagreed with, but it was something like an environmental movement (though he was polluting the river with plastic and tons of sand) So we're driving back, and all of a sudden we're at the construction warehouse again, and he decides to abandon me there. The manager type person is waiting there still looking for us, but they never caught us the first time, so the second time we're back here and my friend decides to betray me and leave me behind to be caught... instead, I managed to sneak into the back of the truck just as they were leaving, and while backing up, they see me... the friend turns out to be my dad at this point, and he becomes enraged and tries to toss me from the vehicle by accelerating fast and slamming on the breaks. the only thing in the truck bed is some inane objects and a tire, and I remember fearing the tire would crush me, but my grip was solid and I managed to brace the tire with me, so I become rock solid stable in the back. He ends up driving to my grandma's house, where a physical fight supposedly ensues, but never in detail. He tried using a shotgun against me which really upset me and I managed to get the upper hand and disarm him, leaving me with the shotgun and him dazed. So, I keep the shutgun threatening him, but start talking like i'm some villain / crazy person in a movie with prisoners and am about to be stopped by the police, so I make a drastic decision.. I tell my dad how, he's a materialistic person, and cares about unimportant things, so I'm going to destroy those things. I grab the tractor nearby and drive it into my grandma's house, destroying the only relic left of her (she passed away a few months ago IRL). The people living in the house I spare, but the tractor eventually crashes through the weakened basement, and somehow falls into a second basement, which is irrelevant, just makes it extremely deep, and the water starts rising / flooding, so I have to escape and manage to, still with the shotgun in my hands, I get to the top and the police are about here, and my plan is to commit suicide, but then the fat and stupid son of the new family living decides to play hero and attack me, I kick his ass and he's lying down in the basement (1st, not second, where the water is still rising), and he was so pathetic that I ended up giving him the shotgun and walking upstairs, ready to give myself up... I'm standing in the kitchen where he holds me hostage until the police arrive, his friends show up and I overhear them asking how long it took him to disarm me, and he was kind of stammering and scared because I was still within sight / sound, so I said to them he disarmed me in about 2 minutes, and he smiled and started telling a make believe story with him as the hero, and i silently congragulated him for it... the mother of the family was traumatized, and the father I don't know where he was at.. I was talking to the police though, probably about to be taken in but just discussing events with me, and I woke up
....god that looks atrocious.
I've stopped having the dream about different crushes from my childhood, but in the past 4 years or so I've continued to have this dream about one specific girl. The dream is always different, random, completely not-memorable, but there's always a *really freaking strong* emotion attached to it, and when I wake up, I can't even hate the world, I can't feel any negative emotion, all I feel is an extremely strong desire to crawl back into that dream even though I can't. I want to hate the world for taking it away from me, but it's such a pleasurable emotion that negativity just seems wrong to intrude upon it. It's like love, but not quite like love, a really strong affection that's like nothing I've really experienced from a waking-life situation...
The dream is never really about this girl per say, she's just, in it, and by my side, supporting me, being the companion I desire in my waking moments. There's never anything sexual, it's always just.. peaceful, amazing, blissful, innocent. The reoccurring female in the dream is one that I had a crush on the moment I saw her in middle school (ironically, when the elementary school dreams stopped). I would ask this girl to dance at *every* dance without fail, even in high school when I had a girlfriend, I would tell my girlfriend that this is kind of a ritual for us and I had to at least have one dance with this girl... I had tried 'dating' her in 7th grade, and she said yes to my surprise (I was really fucking weird, trying to get her attention and favor, haha.) We 'dated' for a week, which amounted to me being too scared to call her, barely able to hold her hand, and sitting nervously next to her at lunch, my introversion going into overkill mode around all her friends, it was a torture for me that I endured just to be next to her. She was always super kind to me, even when she broke up, she did so kindly to the point where I wasn't even really upset about it, I knew what we were doing wasn't really anything, so I just kind of kept hoping, and made the determination not to date anyone until I had a car and a job and could actually take her out and such (My next girlfriend wasn't until my junior year of high school, haha. Though, I never got the job, my parents wouldn't let me, I only had a car, which, worked well enough for me
).
I don't think even now I've really stopped liking this girl, that's the funny thing. She doesn't really occupy my thoughts, it's more like a... this girl, was amazing and perfect, I never really got to know her, so she's still perfect. Everything she does is admirable to me (facebook stalking >.>) lol. I dunno, it's kind of like that whole 'one that got away' story I guess. I never really tried again and I still wonder about her.
....Ok so realized I got way off on the whole dreaming subject towards the end here, but I felt the story was relevant to any possible explanations to the dream.
Any dream analysts up to tackling my mess of thoughts? haha.
trying to read Firehazard's post.