"An INTP at least attempts to keep people liking them most of the time"

[asmit127]

I've signed up to another MBTI forum to get the views of other types on more mundane matters of life and read this in a thread "An INTP at least attempts to keep people liking them most of the time". I really don't, there are plenty of people out there so if someone doesn't like me I'm hardly going to make any effort to change their mind. Am I alone in this or is the other poster wrong?

 

[Lobstrich]

I'd say he is wrong..

I really don't care if people like me or not, if they are to ignorant to accept me for what I am. They aren't worth wasting energy on.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

It is beneficial to my studies and career for people to have a mutual liking of me, well at least as far as reciprocity goes. However, if one is a recluse there is no need. I must say it is nice when people are excited to see you.

At university I kind of screwed up relations with others which has had a detrimental effect on my ability to find suitable groups for large assignments. What caused the relationships to distort was when I did a presentation on the greenhouse theory (you could do a presentation on anything for the subject). I stole some ideas of a former nasa employed mathematician and derived a linear model of greenhouse effect and disproved a runaway greenhouse effect. You don't make friends with critically analyzing people's religious beliefs.

As for the 'intp' trying to maintain people's like of them I think it is up to the individual and not the personality type as a whole.

 

[Trebuchet]

I agree with Proxy. I try to keep people liking me, and for that matter I like people (just not being around them much). But I have found as many differences as similarities here between INTPs. The person who posted that on another forum presumably met some INTPs who do try.

 

[Adymus]

lol, yeah that's total bullshit.

We are fucking Ti doms. Ti does not give a shit if people don't like what it thinks.

Don't get me wrong, I try to be as likable as possible (Some of us do try, but definitely not all), but that is our weakest point, and certainly not what we deserve credit for.

 

[Sparrow]

I don't really give a shit if someone doesn't like me. I'm apathetic and an asshole and I'll be myself and if someone doesn't like it, they can fuck themselves. I'm an insensitive bastard...but at the same time...it's really difficult for me to make people like me if I can't respect them. If I have to use someone to further my own goals...I fail -_-

 

[Dormouse]

Hmm, I actually need people to like me, so...

Proofs that I am not an INTP! Yay!

Actually, I've just been whiny and insecure this week, so maybe don't take that at face value. Or do. Not really my concern.

But really, I like people. And it's nice to know people like you. And conflict sucks, and generally arises from people not liking you. So trying to get people to like you seems only natural?
Not that I'm about to jump through any hoops, but I can make compromises.

 

[Words]

"An INTP at least attempts to keep people liking them most of the time"?

Yes. Without other factors, I think so, generally.

I see this as the difference between ITP's and ITJ's. Inferior Fe vs. Tertiary Fi. The ITJ is more true to its emotional self and resists external influence. The ITP is more vulnerable to external emotional influence. FiTe vs. TiFe.

 

[ashitaria]

Sigh...an INTP can only care so much....

 

[Trebuchet]

I see this as the difference between ITP's and ITJ's. Inferior Fe vs. Tertiary Fi. The ITJ is more true to its emotional self and resists external influence. The ITP is more vulnerable to external emotional influence. FiTe vs. TiFe.

I think this is an overgeneralization. The INTJs I know work very hard at charm and building up political capital at work and being dutiful to their families. I am sure some INTJs are complete jerks, but not the ones I know. Actually, I've seen more annoying behavior from INTPs than Js.

Also, I think the INTJ is more vulnerable to external emotional influence, but would rather suffer a full-body rug burn than admit it. INTPs get mad and then shrug off all but the most egregious things, while INTJs can really hold a grudge.

 

[semicolon]

As Dormouse touched upon, I think I just avoid conflict wherever possible, which if it involves keeping people liking me, I would probably go along with. Although the real assholes I really don't give a damn about. So for me people probably fall in two polar groups: people who I avoid conflict and remain mostly neutral (siding towards friendly) with; and people who I really couldn't care less about.

 

[Words]

I think this is an overgeneralization. The INTJs I know work very hard at charm and building up political capital at work and being dutiful to their families. I am sure some INTJs are complete jerks, but not the ones I know. Actually, I've seen more annoying behavior from INTPs than Js.

Also, I think the INTJ is more vulnerable to external emotional influence, but would rather suffer a full-body rug burn than admit it. INTPs get mad and then shrug off all but the most egregious things, while INTJs can really hold a grudge.

Interesting but I think this "dutiful" and "work very hard at charm" is already molded into their subjective model of Fi. Fi is subjective internal value compass. Like Ti, it is very protective of its "model". Or in Fi terms, "emotional model". Je is more flexible than Ji.

Having Fi or Fe doesn't make you a jerk. It just changes how you approach things. By this reasoning, INTP's will naturally be more "clumsy" when articulating than Aux Te.

Anyways, Fe is more conscious of people's external perception towards them; social value is based from outside. Fi is more secretive, less expressive, less to "admit", and less "fake".

Though this doesn't mean that the average INTP will often attempt to be more appeasing, they will attempt. But "No" is probably a good answer to the Thread Title.

 

[echoplex]

Well no, I don't think the quote is true, but I think I can see where that comes from. If you look at the functions, Fe is the INTP's way of judging the outside world. It's not so much that INTPs care whether or not people like them, it's just that they will typically try to seem agreeable around others so long as they don't have to sacrifice their principles (Ti) to do so.

The thing is though, INTPs are not reliable when it comes to consistently making an effort to 'keep people liking them' -- at least not 'most of the time.' I'd say the INTP approach to dealing with people (Fe) would be better described as 'getting by' than trying to be liked. Which is to say, people will typically see their inferior function as something to survive rather than something to indulge in (most of the time).

This has actually been a source of type doubt for me, because I seem to care more about being liked than an INTP typically would. However, I suspect that may actually be a symptom of underdeveloped Fe. The idea being that I'm so unconfident with Fe that I need to know I'm liked so I won't have to deal with the aftermath of not being liked, which might require even more Fe-energy than ensuring being liked does.

In other words, energy conservation by preventing awkward inferior function situations, even at the expense of indulgence in dominant function. Either that or I'm some other type.

 

[Reluctantly]

It would be really interesting to see if someone could label what an inferior Fe would resemble in conscious thought versus Fe in a dominant or auxiliary role. Clearly Fe in a dominant or auxiliary role tends to be quite expressive and wanting to influence others for good reasons (for the most part anyway), but I could see this being a useful and developed aspect of an INTP that has gotten past the threat of being mislead, suspicious of, and mis-used by Fe. Almost an acceptance and experimental play of Fe with the world when having enough understanding and security of it. But then that makes me think such a person would be an INFJ that never developed their Fe, which further begs the question. I wish I had more experience with life and people to know.

 

[walfin]

You don't have to care about whether other people like you or not to attempt to make them like you.

Keeping people from wanting to kill you is still wanting to be "liked", in a way.

 

[BigApplePi]

Okay. Here is the way I think of it at the moment: For me what counts are ideas. So much so, I'm all ideas. Enough to make fun of them. I know logic well enuf sometimes I have fun going onto ridiculous threads and making fun of the whole thing -- or maybe I said that wrong. I like the ridiculous to get away from too much reason. Or maybe that's not it either. The ridiculous has something underneath. The idea of contrast and holding two things at once that are contradictory is ridiculous.

Anyway I got carried away from the topic. I want people who can further this or who are interested in the same areas I am to like me. Why? I can't see why I'd want them to like me except if they don't I can be stopped from pursuit of wherever I was going. If I want to go after something, I need all the help I can get. It's being planted in fertile ground that's the thing. The more that "like" me the better. And if you like me, I will tend to like you and it goes on and snowballs until a brick wall is encountered.

So FU. Go away already. Ya bodder me -- just kiddin' -- I like you even if you or I don't know what that means or I don't mean it. How would you know anyway? Honest. I DO like you really even if I don't show it. What I mean is I don't know what any of this means I think. How do YOU feel about this?

 

[EditorOne]

It may not be an attempt to get people to like them. It may be an attempt to understand another person by mirroring them.

A quote

"INTPs tend to be rather mistrusting of people and are rather sceptical. However, a lot of their trust is based on what the Ne function tells them about somebody. This can lead to a naivity and sometimes to prejudices based on intuitive perceptions of appearence and style. People can be a problem for INTPs: on the one hand they are fascinated by some types of people, especially more extraverted individuals, but a fear of irrational behaviour in others usually leads to caution. Friendship with INTPs develops at a pace which depends considerably on the temperament of the other person. INTPs dislike making the first move and tend to mirror the emotional content of the other person. A jolly person will quickly bring the INTP out of his shell, as much as that is possible, while a serious person will find a serious INTP looking back at him. In this sense, INTPs preference for intuitive perception (rather than action) with respect to people results in them resembling a chameleon. The INTP can fit into many different modes of behaviour, even contradictory ones, in order to get into the mindset of the other person. The goal is to gain enough intuitive data to analyse and assess the person."

http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html


(I go back and read this stuff sometimes just to remind myself why I like me. )

 

[Causeless]

(I go back and read this stuff sometimes just to remind myself why I like me. )

Guilty here too.

Funny how accurate the mirroring thing is.

I notice my mind likes to think of it as, "You set the rules, and I beat you at them." Heh heh.

 

[BigApplePi]

I have no rules.
You set the rules.

Now I have some.
I run with them
to see where they go.

Maybe you don't react
or maybe you do
and set more rules.

Now I have more rules
to add to my collection.

BAP

 

[citrusbreath95]

I don't want people to hate me, but I honestly wouldn't care if they disliked me. I would appreciate it though if they still took my ideas and thoughts into consideration, and not include any biasness towards me for their dislike of me. I don't try to get people to like me, I can be friendly and quite easy going, but this isn't for the sake of building a great relationship with an individual, it's simply because I don't see the need to arise any unnecessary conflict. Though, if it got to a point of severity, then yes, I would have to interject.

 

[Keary]

I guess it would depend on the job that the individual has, and since not all INTP's are exactly the same some of us will:

"at least attempts to keep people liking them most of the time"

Myself on the other hand doesn't care whether someone likes me or not, there are only a few exceptions to this; friends (who I eventually began to like and cared whether or not they liked me), parents and those who I would benefit from.

 

[LAM]

As long as I am not hated by people I don't want to hate me I am fine. This is not that many and in any case I generally try to be nice to everyone so I am at the very worst just not liked by most people.