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I have a friend who is a history buff and, during casual conversation, can explain historical facts in detail. For example, when I was planning a trip to Hungary, and asked him what it's like there, he explained the history of the Austro Hungarian Empire, its collapse, and how that affects the...

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I think it has to do with differing values. The son might believe that family members have a duty to each other with regard to money - keeping it in the family, etc - or a duty to one's offspring to provide for them. He would probably do the same if he had a son, and expects the father to act...

I just wonder why someone else's wrongness would bother me when their wrongness has nothing to do with me. Like that picture of the wrong tile - I've seen those "mildly infuriating" posts on the internet and people get so bothered by one thing being out of place. But it doesn't make sense why we...

Then do you think the reason I get this cognitive dissonance is because I have the belief that other people think about their beliefs, and their inconsistency contradicts that? And if I accept that other people do not think about their beliefs, I would resolve my own dissonance?

Hi everyone, it is has been a long time since I've been on this forum. I started to miss you all! There aren't many other places with this level of quality conversation. So I'm back :) I have noticed that when I notice another person being inconsistent in their beliefs, it bothers me a lot...

[removed] have to think more.

Then what is the answer for whether to trust your emotional/intuitive signal or not? I mean it's a yes or no. It seems like it's a no for the three of you. It seems like you all require evidence/proof to justify such feelings before listening to them. @Hadoblado 's proof is checking them for...

Yeah that's what I used to think too. Test/analyze to check and verify. But people say that this is not good. It is not considered healthy to second-guess and doubt all of your feelings/perceptions. This is what victims of gaslighting do. Being assaulted and having a healthy internal response...

The first link is to interpersonal communication. Communication is important but the question of whether to trust one's feelings/intuitions remains open.

Isn't this is assuming the goal is to solve the conflict? What if it's a person you're never going to talk to again? What is the approach, anyway? The wiki page is just explaining the causes of conflict

I meant that dialectics seems to be focused on explaining the causes of conflict, rather than what to do about it. From what I read, dialectics seems to be about communication. But I don't see how that solves the problem of whether to trust your emotional signals. Unless dialectics says not to...

I'm not well versed with dialectics, but doesn't it explain the causes of conflict? It doesn't seem to have a position on the validity of the emotional signaling.

Thanks @Hadoblado Hm okay so you are making a differentiation between "I think I am stupid" vs. "I am stupid." And you are saying .. if you ever get an "I am stupid" thought, that leads you to feel sad, you should reframe it as "I think I am stupid" and accept that you are sad because of that...

Edited for clarity. Gaslighting is harmful because it erodes the victim's trust in their thoughts, feelings, perception, and judgment (internal experience). It creates self-doubt, in the form of an internal voice that keeps rationalizing other peoples' behavior. This leads the victim to keep...

Many people say that if one is feeling sad or any such negative emotion, you should accept the emotion, allow yourself to feel it, and do something that makes you happy as a way of self-care. I know people who do this. If they are feeling depressed, they don't fight it, they just let it be, and...

In order for a perpetrator to make the connection between their action and the victim's reaction, a few things must happen: 1. Perpetrator must be aware that the victim disliked the action. This awareness can either be self-realized "hm, I wonder why she is acting that way toward me. maybe she...

@onesteptwostep I loove Richter, saw him perform November and the rest of the Leftovers soundtrack live and it was wonderful

Interesting responses, all. I was reading about this online and came across someone who linked this (massive anxiety over being misunderstood and unable to explain oneself) to not being "heard" while growing up, for example parents that never listened.

Cool! Since there are multiple people interested in French, I realized that another option is to just start a dedicated French thread on here. Then many people can participate. Thoughts?

Idk I think this discourages open conversations. Yeah with most topics people don't need to learn others' views, but I think discussing things is a good thing and expands peoples' minds.

Not to hijack or anything, but this also relates to being misunderstood. I don't know why it affects me so much. A lot of times I am engaged with someone who is either being manipulative, not smart and can't understand, or an irrational zealot who spouts rubbish. I try to reason with them. But...

I want a pen pal to exchange emails with in a foreign language (to practice and learn). I can speak on a conversational level, I just need to keep exercising it so that I don't lose touch, and to improve my vocab/grammar. My languages of choice: French or English So basically, if anyone...

Are you nthng the artist? https://soundcloud.com/nthngnthng

Deficiency Results Summary 1B Total Number of True Responses - DOPAMINE Deficiency: 12 2B Total Number of True Responses - ACETYLCHOLINE Deficiency: 13 3B Total Number of True Responses - GABA Deficiency: 23 4B Total Number of True Responses - SEROTONIN Deficiency: 16 FYI there is an online...

Do you think this is writer's block? I always thought WB was when someone has difficulty coming up with ideas in the first place. Whereas with me, I have lots of them, but just have difficulty accessing them when I'm writing.

It would be nice to embrace the higher standard to improve my skills. I guess I would have to fix the going "blank" issue first. Like, if I still had an internal idea of what I want to say, then I could work on saying it better. But I can't say anything when I blank out and don't know what to...

It's a good idea, maybe I should practice freeflow for an hour a day or something. Any idea of what causes the internal "blanking"? Even if I am trying to write to a highly refined standard, I wonder why it causes "blanking".

i i/ This is true but the strategy can lose. No matter how much you explain something, the other person isn't going to understand unless they want to understand. People have filters that let them hear what they want to hear. It's like breaking your head against a brick wall sometimes.

I disagree with this. Listening is a skill that many people choose not to exercise.

I'm surprised to read your post because I have been dealing with this on a daily basis. Feeling misunderstood is the worst. At least for me, it's like speaking a different language and having no one understand you. Powerless to express yourself. Usually, I would try to explain myself and...

I spend a lot of time working on theories in my head, without writing anything down. Then, I look back and feel bad that after all that time, I have nothing to show for it. At least if I wrote a paper, I could have done something with it. Published it, sent it somewhere, or even used it as a...

I find that in situations where one belongs to a non-mainstream subculture, it is difficult to find a group of friends who shares one's interests. Please see the spoiler for my definition of subculture. To illustrate what I mean, I will use hip-hop culture as an example. This is not my...

I agree with you that many men prefer feeler women. However, there are plenty of men out there who like thinker women. If you find someone like that, you'll be a lot happier than adjusting yourself to men who aren't your type anyway. I mean, think about it .. if a man wants a feeler woman, is...

Wow. My inability to articulate my ideas in an understandable way to others on the spot always made me question my intelligence - "If I was an intelligent person, I'd be able to find a way to explain it" and I generally just felt dumb

That's not what I mean. I'm not suggesting that those who don't think are lacking quality of life itself. I was wondering whether they are lacking the very thing I am gaining by thinking. If they are, then I know my thinking has some value because I am gaining something I wouldn't have without...

This seems to be the crux of the problem. I don't trust anything I think or feel unless I am able to prove it to myself from scratch. It's like there's an inner voice that plays devil's advocate with myself, and I have this internal argument where I'm trying to prove the devil's advocate wrong...

That article has a good example: Isn't he supposed to be the master of logic? She made a valid point (that there is a distinction) and rather than responding to her point by asking her what the distinction is, he pretended she said something else and avoided it.

It's okay, and thanks. I don't think I have aspergers. Feelings work differently than logic so being good at one doesn't mean you'll be good at the other. A lot of people who are very in touch with their feelings can't make a proper logical argument. Others, like me, tend to think very logically...

I used to like Ben because of how he points out hypocrisy on the left. But then I realized that he does a lot of the same shit that he accuses the left of. A lot of his arguments are misleading and fallacious.

I think this seems accurate. A lot of the topics I think about are related to emotions and human behavior. Even the example I gave was ultimately about that: why does X feel worse than Y. I don't have a grasp on my emotions or what causes them, and trying to understand them delves deep into...

What kinds of things did you think about, that you felt were useless? I want to see if it is the same kind of stuff

Maybe it is an addiction. If it IS important to do, how come no one else does it? And if they don't, are they lacking anything in life due to the absence of this? What do you think about? It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one that does this, and how other people handle it. But you...

I don't get why people talk about manipulators using "insecurities". People always said that manipulators especially take advantage of insecure, low self-esteem people as they are easier to manipulate. I don't see the connection between insecurity and manipulation. Can someone give a hypo to...

I got the Ringleader -Motivated -Spirited -Compelling -Strong-Minded -Empathetic a little surprised by my results

Because everything in life rests on these underlying philosophical/psychological fundaments. And if you don't know the fundamentals, you don't know anything at all. Your entire knowledge of the world comes into question. You can't trust your own thoughts or beliefs or experiences anymore...

A quick example of the kind of stuff I think about: This happens a lot, questioning a specific situation that comes up in my life leads to fundamental philosophical questions that are so hard to answer that it gives me an existential crisis. A friend of mine said he has been feeling depressed...

Inability to explain may not mean you are stupid. Complex thoughts are harder to put into mere words. Maybe you have a complex understanding and interpretation of things that it is harder to articulate than a lay person who perceives things on a more superficial level.

I've been feeling like I spend way too much time thinking, and not enough time living. Thinking eats a ton of my time. It sounds crazy but sometimes I think about something for two hours straight without realizing. It feels like just a few minutes had passed. All the time I spend thinking...

Not a specific example, I just don't see why the reading level of books you read necessarily corresponds to your intelligence level. For example, someone like you, can simply choose to read YA fiction just because. But that doesn't take away from your intelligence because, as demonstrated, you...