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walfin

walfin

Democrazy 37 From /dev/null
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  • walfin
    Gloro, gloro, al la Sxafido,
    Gloro, gloro, al la Sxafido,
    Por vi gloregigxas kaj lauxdegindigxas,
    Sur-trona Sxafido,
    Kaj al vi ni levas lauxdajn vocxojn,
    Sur-trona Sxafido

    An exercise in translation of one of the songs sung in church.

    I think the transitive is wrong.

    Lordo Dio mia, mi petas Vin, donas mi la scio ke Vi veras. Por mi maleblos iri la domo de Vi se mi ne certe kredas Vian ekziston en mia koro kaj menso.
    ashitaria
    What? Oh yeah, I forgot to put that smiley when I'm joking around or being sarcastic. *facepalm*

    What I mean to say was,

    From what I've seen though, I'm glad you aren't taking any of my posts seriously. Now back to the more serious one...:)

    Gah, my bad. Funny how forgetting to put one smiley can really screw things up.

    EDIT: Seeing your diary entries, you seem to be at a low. So am I, though the problem is that I'm too young to get drunk.

    Sorry for your problems.
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    Failure, coming at a kind of low point, is disheartening.

    I want to hit the very lowest point of feeling, before I can come out of it, because if I don't hit the bottom, I will feel like it isn't a real recovery. Like the stock market.

    Sometimes the phrase "jen vi kaj mi, akvo kaj oleo" that I heard in a song comes to mind when I think about my relationship with her. But so what if water and oil are not miscible? When I cook pasta, it's in water with some oil.

    When I was taking the train just now, I started thinking about how both the lines I took didn't exist when I was born. I've seen 3 MRT lines built - the Woodlands extension, the northeast line, and the circle line. Is that progress? I'm of a mind, though, that the progress would have been better and faster if a strong Opposition was snapping at their heels, contrary to what the ruling party claims.

    Darn the 1000 character limit, I can't write anything substantial here unless I split it, which I hate.
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    Mi re-deziras mian Esperanton pli bononti.

    Do not understand too many things.

    And I failed my Oxford Brookes thesis. :( Need to rant. And more importantly, get drunk. Dankoj estu al Dion, no lessons tomorrow (but still have to open the shop. I'm almost glad to be winding up soon.) What a waste of time and $$, now having failed once I'm almost certain to get a lousy class of honours.

    Sigh.
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    Why do I care that I feel alone?

    There are many people who do not have the need for association.

    "Social but awkward" describes me. Yet I am pretty sure I am not a real aspie.

    Needing friends just renders someone that much more manipulatable.

    The older I grow, the more I find "在家靠父母,出外靠朋友", "No man is an island" et al such phrases abhorrent. Why can it not be 总玩照起工来进, depend on yourself?

    Sure, I understand, that is the way society is. Because we are not left in peace. I can sit here and do nothing and one day some SJ in charge will come up with some stupid rule that even that is wrong, even though I harm no one.

    Compared to all this human relationship nonsense, I think a "soulless" bureaucracy is preferable. "It's not what you know, it's who you know" is the grossest example of injustice. The people who say "that's life" are missing the point entirely.
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    Women often talk of "that time of the month". I seem to have a time of the year when I'm particularly low. When I sum up all that is me and find myself wanting.

    It's been quite a while since I started to feel low. I've felt a lot better for a while, and I thought I overcame my inadequacies, but apparently not.

    I don't want to hold on to them. It is cognitive dissonance, I think. If I am successful by my own measure one day, I'd probably be happier. But what if I am never successful by that measure? I know I'm not one of those never happy types. My measures are rather absolute.
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    They are teaching HTML in Object Oriented Application Development.

    Just when I thought the standards in this university couldn't get any lower, after they came up with a test that awarded 3 marks for writing a 1-line default constructor. They never fail to surprise me.

    For goodness' sakes, if people don't know this stuff, they shouldn't even be here. This is a university, for crying out loud, and they teach basic HTML in a core module :rolleyes:.
    walfin
    Just the other day when I was walking in Bras Basah I had what I thought was a great thing to say in an election speech next time - "we don't want to upset the apple cart, we just think the stallholder isn't that smart". Then I realised how elitist that would sound. If we fancy ourselves "smarter" than the ruling party, how much more likely it is that we'll oppress the "dumb" citizens! And they're arrogant enough.

    I saw Grace's children spill their drinks today and I had an idea to invent an untopplable cup. It's probably been done already though.

    Was bin ich? Something I avoid asking myself too often. Tensions, incoherence, cognitive dissonance, flit, flicker, spin. GAH!
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    I am feeling very insecure, frustrated, and all the old failures are coming back to haunt me.

    There are a great many things for which I feel personally responsible. Unlike some others I cannot easily come up with a quick retort whenever someone says something to slight me. Very often I can't take "teasing". Why? I'm sure other people will say toughen up. For goodness' sakes, I'm almost 3 and 20 and if I hadn't toughened up by now I would've jumped a long time ago. So I'm supposed to let it out? Let's face it, the vast majority of the world would be the happier if I bottled everything up inside as long as I do not upset the apple cart.

    They invariably unashamedly reply that that is the case.

    Time and again I stand rooted in fear, not knowing what to do, and dying inside.

    Why still a weak personality, at almost-23?
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    Velicia is about to come back from HK. Thinking of the test results again. I've been talking to myself more often because of this. I don't actually like to be stressed because of somebody; that generally means they have some sort of power over me. But the thing is Mum will almost certainly back her up. I wish she would go away too. Why can't she just go and live with Velicia in Hong Kong? I'd be much happier then; I'd just need to find somewhere else to stay.

    The colourgenics test was very true for me. I just want peace. Other people don't want peace - they thrive in war. The winds shift constantly; how can I ever manage to stay in the eye of the storm?

    I would rather she did not come back at all. That all the church "commitments" would go away. That nobody would keep wanting me to follow this, that, the other. That I could do what I want for once in my life.

    This is the problem with a weak personality. HUMANS!!!:beatyou:
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    I'm kind of afraid of the colourgenics test. It seems a little new agey. Uncertain as I am, I remain a Christian.
    ohrtonz
    Its not correct but its German "ear" ohr, and "sound/tone" ton. For eartones or my deliberate description... music.
    walfin
    Dear diary,

    I am less angry at that MP now.

    I feel my life is all a blur. The days just pass so quickly that I've no time at all to realise what it is that I have been doing.

    Life is too fast paced in this country for me. And I think my pace is already considered pretty slow. My head is spinning at the end of every day.

    I think I may have to start write my Random Ramblings here, since my old blog seems to be permanently down. Darn the server.

    I am in the closet
    of the crevice of my heart
    A place where the light shines through the cracks
    half darkened, half brightened, all warped

    Play the cassette
    with the sounds of pinging darts
    landing on the floor like little tacks
    some big, some small, all sharp

    The world is brightly coloured
    like the death cap toadstool
    More is to be suffered
    without warning for fools

    Stepping out past the door?
    First step past the darts on the floor
    Melkor
    Jesus christ! Ughhhhhh. I ALWAYS GET IT WRONG! Bleh.

    For some reason I never manage to get genders right on this forum. Perhaps my androgyny contributes to a misunderstanding of the key concepts of gender.>>

    Blah! It just doesn't seem right, saying it to a guy. If I had a bit more pride, I'd be insulted by being called sweet.

    I understand sexuality might also cause awkwardness.

    I'm a weird sortof creature, something between pansexual and bisexual, arguably the same thing! One leads to the other....
    Melkor
    Grah, the text capacity is so short on this phone! Yes, your gender is not important in the outcome, just the method. By which I mean I still like you, I'd just be a bit less soppy about it if you were male, hence an apology in advance for the hearts and 'sweetie' :p

    gosh... Sorry, this was all just an impulse after replying to your post in my thread. Ahem. See you around.
    Melkor
    Don't worry Walfin, I always read the entire length of your posts, and I enjoy your company vastly. I just feel inadequate and answering most of them, I'm not ignoring however.

    er, yeah, I can be nice, but on forums and the internet I don't like it so much, it leaves you so much more open to criticism and suspicion. A nasty guy won't care if you scold him, but a nice guy becomes a target for abuse, if my life is anything to go by.Love you sweetie<3 (oh, sorry if you're male, I'm nearly sure you're female)
    Mary
    Also: I did not draw it myself, my friend drew it on paint to describe what I was like. :D
    Mary
    Yes, very kiddy. I am known for my immaturity when it comes to various things. :p

    I'll be interested in what you have to say! :)
    ashitaria
    If you don't mind, would you allow me to join in the graphology thread?
    I would like to practice my graphology skills, it's something that I have recently taken interest in. I think it will be a very useful skill to have.

    And Trebuchet, if you are reading this, thanks. :D
    Trebuchet
    Definitely I notice the overall image of the writing first. I kind of get to the t-bars and such last. I look at the legibility, baseline, size, slant, stuff like that. After analyzing for a while, I start to get a kind of overall image. I'll see sign after sign of the same things. It is a cool thread, because the samples have INTP in common. It would be very nifty if you posted your analyses of the same people. You are probably more current with it than I am, and I don't often get to compare notes with anyone.
    Trebuchet
    Hey walfin,

    I'm so relieved you didn't feel like I stepped on your prerogatives with the graphology. I figured it couldn't hurt to have two people do it, since we probably have different approaches. I was just all excited to see a graphology thread and jumped in.
    Linsejko
    Saluton. Mi ŝance venis hodiaŭ, senkiale. Mirinda, ĉu ne?

    Kiam vi komencis lerni? Kiel kaj kial vi daŭras?

    Bona koni alian esperantiston INTPan. :)

    Etan pri vi, ĉu mi povas lerni?

    Kajo

    PS--ĉu vi ludas Goon? (Go/Igo/Weiqi/Baduk/Paduk)
    ashitaria
    Wow, your post scared me for a minute. o.O

    But yeah, boredom does have it's advantages and disadvantages...

    and I have to leave for school in 5 mins.

    I also have to study for a Japanese test that is due today, but I usually manage to pull through and still retain my As. At least I hope. o.o
    ashitaria
    Yeah, I pretty much just dropped by. So you come around updating your diary everyday?

    And boredom is such a problem that we all deal with D:
    Toad
    I quit smoking regular cigarettes, but I like to enjoy 1-2 clove cigarettes a day.

    Thanks for your condolences. I know it's for the better. I'll get over it.
    Dear Walfin,

    I was just going to leave a msg to express my appreciation of your contribution to the forum and/or to apologise for the socially retarded tone of my posts in your graph thread.

    Then I saw your diary. I'm ... sorry? Then again if you minded too terribly anyone reading your diary it wouldn't be here, right?

    Have a cookie? *hands a cookie*
    Damaged.Goods
    No, I don't consider it a language. The three languages are Mandarin, English, and Korean. Korean I learned on visits with my parents and English I learned mainly from tutors until my parents decided I shouldn't know it too well. After that I study it on my own.
    LucielaMinerva
    hurhurhur is somewhat like a mix of disappointment and humour.

    e.g.

    A: Hey B, wanna go babe watching tonight?
    B: Can't- have a test I need to study for!
    A: Aww. You said it was next week!
    B: I got the dates mixed up! hurhurhur. <insert crying smiley>


    (ironic.)
    eudemonia
    I have decided that one has to start in one's own backyard. Funnily enough I am in the throes of starting a Centre for Responsible Leadership at the University of Winchester. I feel its only about 10% of the community who would behave with integrity if it came to sacrificing their own self interest. Being interested in spirituality - I am exploring the role of kenosis in leadership - self emptying.


    And I always identified more with idealists and those with integrity in other countries than I did with elites who ruled my country. I feel that the world is comprised not of nations but of the ruling elites, the middle classes (who work their guts out to get into the ruling elites and only about 10% make it), the working classes - who work to live but who manage to have a bit of fun on the way, and the downtrodden - who survive in order to survive. I would rather serve their interests than the elites of my own country.
    eudemonia
    Where do you live?

    I don't think its different anywhere else in the world. Often politicians start out by being idealistic but the system sorts out those who conform and play the game and those who do not. The latter, the idealists, generally don't make it into power. There's a good book by William Hague and another co-author detailing how Euro MPs and commisioners use the European Union to line their own pockets and for their own self interest (The Gravy Train). Look at Italy's PM, Berlusconi, for heaven's sake. France's politicians have a pact with the media so that their misdemenours are not reported. Twas ever thus.

    tbc
    eudemonia
    Hi Walfin, I now see what you mean by a 'wall' :)

    I find this nationalism theme very interesting. How do you 'love' a country? What do you love about an abstract noun or about arbitrary land borders? Do you love a bush that is in your country but not a bush that is in the country next door? Do you love all your compatriots more than non-compatriots? What is it that you feel you do, or ought to, love?
    LucielaMinerva
    At some point of time, that fire rabbit must've gotten burnt, yes? Nah, not exactly the piano. Can't afford one, so it's just a keyboard. Get better soon :D
    LucielaMinerva
    I love Hokkien. No other language comes as close to Hokkien when delivering colourful and imaginative expletives. It just sounds so clumsy in English haha. Sigh. I wish chao ta rabbit feels a little better. It's kind of depressing to read sad posts. And I don't know how to help because, I'm the same omg =_=" Is this why INTPs suck cos we all more or less have the same weakness zzzz
    Beat Mango
    well I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea of you eating me. Luciela though, hmmm, maybe...
    LucielaMinerva
    Oh noes you ravaged my feminine sensitivities to pieces. My once virginal mind is very much tainted with really bad imagery. What a mean person, playing with words like that. Hur hur hur.

    PS: Do you liek tuna?
    LucielaMinerva
    Anyway Walfin's diary,

    I do hope my buddy Walfin feels better. I wish I could be there to help him but my own mind is still pretty muddled at the moment. Is there a way we can both get lost in some awesome exciting place where we don't have to think about problems?

    Signing off,
    LM
    LucielaMinerva
    Dear Walfin's diary,

    Sorry for intruding so unceremoniously into you (sorry for the imagery, it was not meant to be seen that way I swear). Not sure if Walfin would appreciate it, but I honestly think it would be funny.

    No, screw that, it is not funny.

    Bad Luciela! :(

    Oh yes Walfin's diary. I just wanted to share that I actually find his writings really familiar and that I can relate to it like, almost 95% familiarity, although I do think that he should really get a blog. www.wordpress.com is a really stable and lag-free platform that has a multitude of really pretty (ok, fine, I don't think Walfin would LIKE pretty... hurhurhur)... erm, I meant to say interesting skins. Also he can pour his heart out in droves of words till the cows come home and kaypoh people like me can comment on his postings. And then maybe share bloglinks or something. Heh.
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