The "early life crisis" stage where you're completely not motivated.

[louiesgonnadie]

Has anyone ever felt this way, as an adolescent entering the beginning of his or her adult stages?

I was homeschooled for three years, and didn't pay attention in school for another three, due to depression and other personal shit, and this resulted in below average knowledge, plaguing my intuition, and leaving me for the most part uninspired, unless I was interested in something at the moment. I feel like I have to be competent at the same time though, and my knowledge base should be up to or above the par compared to society my age right now, yet I'm not motivated to take in any knowledge based on things I'm not really interested in. I have a high IQ and it's kind of being wasted by demotivation right now.

I am currently studying computer networking at a technical school part time, since I think it's a good job to make a living off of (if you're A+ certified in cabling for example and have good experience, in a couple years you could be making up to 80K a year....I think). But for the most part, I just want the skill of troubleshooting computer problems and taking apart and fixing computers. All this extra shit is pretty cool, but I'm generally uninterested.

Or, depression, anxiety, and personal life are plaguing me. I'm not going to get into all of it (ok, there is a girl I met over the internet involved in my thoughts right now, and based on what I know about her, I really like her and feel like I could have something special with her, but I'm like a nuisance in her life and it's just killing me). I have these narrow obsessions where all my energy is focused on that particular interest and any energy and motivation can't be spread around other things. I mean, I was diagnosed with Aspergers on a couple occasions, but it is generally unnoticeable and I don't feel like I fit 60% of the criteria, but pervasively, this could explain these short lived narrow obsessions I have from time to time. For example, my current narrow obsession at the moment is with MBTI and how cognitive functions work with personality types. So, I'm kind of obsessed with figuring out my type. Just since if I have a good idea of what my type is, I'll try and be innovative towards it and figure out what works best for me based on my type (like jobs, hobbies, activities, etc.). Or, I really like that idea, but there's a chance I might be too lazy to even do that. The term "lazy perfectionist" really fits me as of right now.

Maybe I'm not really an INTP? Or I'm just 5w4 to the max? I have no fucking idea anymore. My life is just one huge bubble of ponder.

So, possibilities:

A). I can't learn anything I'm not interested in.
B). Depression, anxiety, demotivation and personal issues are plaguing me and creating a mental block, creating a wall of thoughts and blocking out information entering my knowledge bases, or if you will, any information that tries to go through has to go through my wall of thoughts and mostly ends up scattering and fading, unless it's really important.
C). I have ADHD, so this is affecting my focus towards my future goals.
D). Deep down inside my black soul, I feel like I need passion to accomplish anything or do anything right (this is probably the weakest out of the possibilities, but hey, I'm a drummer, and I enjoy the fuck out of it. I learned basic drumming on my own just by going with my instincts, enjoyed myself, and bam, I can play somewhat complex stuff for someone who has never taken lessons before. albiet I'm not really good with the base/coordination).

Sorry for rambling.

 

[rrgjl]

Wow. You sound just like me not too long ago, and in some ways still.
I'm exactly the same apart from the 'obsessions' as you call them.
Also high intelligence, also lack of motivation and knowledge, also thought of aspergers or ADHD, also thought that I have to find my passion but couldn't find it anywhere, also always pondering never doing.
Just wow.

I'm going to try to give you a somewhat more meaningful reply later on.

 

[snafupants]

You need to inquire more about yourself and find a way to blend short-term interests with long-term goals vis-a-vis a career and financial independence.

 

[Coolydudey]

Sometimes, putting things in perspective can really help. You should know what perspective to impose, and if this will accomplish anything. For example (lame one though, you can find much better ones) someone who fears death can put their fear into perspective by thinking of all the death around them, all the people who have already died, different ways people have dealt with this. Often, perpsective helps by making us realise we are just a drop in the ocean, with different effects on different people (someone may become settled or unsettled by that thought, making them take certain courses of action).

 

[louiesgonnadie]

Wow. You sound just like me not too long ago, and in some ways still.
I'm exactly the same apart from the 'obsessions' as you call them.
Also high intelligence, also lack of motivation and knowledge, also thought of aspergers or ADHD, also thought that I have to find my passion but couldn't find it anywhere, also always pondering never doing.
Just wow.

I'm going to try to give you a somewhat more meaningful reply later on.

I'm assuming you're an INTP, so how would you rate your INTPness?

 

[rrgjl]

I'm assuming you're an INTP, so how would you rate your INTPness?

I'm not so sure what I am yet. That kind of defines us, doesn't it ? Us meaning you and me, not so much the INTPs.

 

[EditorOne]

What you describe is not necessarily limited to adolescence. Demotivation is a constant struggle for me. The solution for me is new pursuits and interests. Competency in anything breeds lassitude.

This pretty much raises hell with cultural and social requirements of various types, including employment. I survived in journalism for almost four decades only because there were so many different aspects and levels that promotions, transfers, new beats, new assignments and above all, new stories to report on new topics and then new ways to find out news, assemble teams and report on it as a leader of activity rather than a doer of activity all constituted "new pursuits" about every three years -- just in time to stave off boredom so severe it bordered on contempt for what I was doing.

Sound familiar?


My INTPness is pretty extreme. In fact I'm afraid I revel in it.

 

[rrgjl]

I'm not sure it's even skill related. For me it's... i don't even know what it is But it just happens, regardless of skill. I don't have to be good at something for it to happen. For the boredome to strike. Some of it is maybe also fear of failure, and probably also simply not knowing what to do with oneself and continuously trying new things in hopes of finding ones destiny. Doesn't happen, of course. But what else can one do?

 

[louiesgonnadie]

I do realize this can apply to anyone, but during the transition period of high school-college, or adolescenthood-adulthood, I was wondering if anyone had experienced this during a time like that, before.

One of the great advantages in life is having the choice to try new things of all sorts. Always good to be open minded. I realized that not too long ago. My thoughts are trying to loosen up, so life seems a little clearer than it did a year ago. Maybe that's a good sign, probably.

I'm not even 90% sure yet if I'm INTP, but I've gotten that result a lot on numerous MBTI/Jung tests and the cognitive function lineup seems to correlate and relate well to me.

 

[Milo]

Yeah, that sounds exactly like me. I started to think about what really matters to me and then all the things I used to do just became more and more pointless to me. I am now about to reenter into online school. I hate having to go to classes, I always end up not showing up later in the year, and I was in the top ten of my class in high school with a gpa of 3.96 without really having to try. Now I'm just really lazy and don't have much incentive.

My new incentive for school is that I can probably find a way to work from home with a computer science degree, and I dislike my current job that much. But, I am an INFJ.