Oops. If I knew about this thread I wouldn't have posted in the poetry forum, lol.
This is what I wrote, embellished and edited (See. That's why I write. I can never resist
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):
I've fantasized about being an author since I was 5. Actually, by that time I was already starting to write my own books (mostly "illustrated" children's ficton, but also "autobiographical" stuff...yeah, I was a very narcissistic child....and a non-fictional book about Scotland hauled from my immigrant grandmother's ramblings). I was raised in a Christian home and so made up demented Bible stories which could pass for Stephen King novels (in content, not quality). I swear, the Bible should never be given to children...all that stuff about demon possession and human sacrifice sounds ten times as disturbing when spun into original tales and spouted out of the mouth of a kindergärtner. I even prefaced them with "remember, the stories in the Bible are
true!"...so apparently at the tender age of 5 I also had the intention of starting a cult.
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I have tried desperately to put it out of my mind, but the "itch to write" (or at least, to tell stories) never quite goes away. When I was a teenager I did finish an absurdist comic mystery novella and typed about 50,000 words of a fantasy novel...I gave up when I realized it was crap, but then they say to be a great writer you have to "throw out everything you did before the age of 20", so I suppose that's fine. (But even then I had fans; a teacher was moved so deeply by my one of my short stories she asked to keep it for her own reading pleasure, and one of my friends even wrote a screenplay of the novella!)
I wanna get back into it; I actually have ideas for two novellas now, one satire and one dark but bittersweet children's "novel" (I find I'm more likely to start something if it's a "big project" than writing endless short stories that don't seem like "accomplishments", but of course starting out by writing a novel is stupid and way too much work, so I think this is a good compromise). But I just can't get around to it, mostly because of:
A) My P laziness/ADD
B) The fear that it will suck
C) My intense perfectionism slowing the process down considerably (my loose leaf books are so heavily edited about half the page is a scribble of black ink).
But I know I'll return eventually. I always do. One of these Novembers, I swear...