What is the forum teaching you about you? Is it worth your time?

[brain enclosed in flesh]

I was telling my psychiatrist about the forum today and what I like about it and what I am learning about myself from it.

Due to the forum, I am discovering that I actually do like interacting with people to an extent, that I like bouncing ideas off other people's minds and cooperatively working toward something, I don't know what- a broader understanding, I guess. Research and making deductions also come into play.

At the same time, unfortunately, I am not writing because at the moment I enjoy organizing my thoughts on the forum and reading what others have to say more than working on my novel. My psychiatrist's response was that I could basically be summed up as someone who tends to do things only if I derive pleasure from them. If I feel obligated, all I want to do is say 'screw you' and I tend to ignore it. Well, I'd say no shit to this, I suppose.

But my whole point was that I was trying to understand my strengths better and that potentially writing a novel isn't the proper thing for me to be doing because I think I need more external structure, I need to be dealing with others in some capacity for my thoughts/ideas to come to fruition, be it an academic situation or an editor assigning a piece to me or whatever. I don't know. I'm rambling, when all I wanted to do was ask others if:

1. They are learning more about themselves from being here.
2. They consider their time spent here productive or detrimental or both.

 

[Ogion]

My psychiatrist's response was that I could basically be summed up as someone who tends to do things only if I derive pleasure from them. If I feel obligated, all I want to do is say 'screw you' and I tend to ignore it.

Yes absolutely agree.

1. Yes, for me, writing something down, or saying it, is a very good means of getting a grip on ym own opinion. It's like most stuff slumbers in my brain, subconscious, and once i spell it out, be it in written or spoken form, it takes form and i cna 'see' it, know it is my opinion indeed.
2. Productive. But, you know, if i'd not find it productuive (maybe temporarily) then i wouldn't spend my time here (and in fact there are times when i don't).

Ogion

 

[Tyria]

I find the forum is a great medium to get to know yourself; writing is where it is (in my experience). Having to organize and explain your thoughts (and yourself) to others can be quite reflective and introspective depending on how it is done.

I usually find my time here productive, though I admit I also log on just for fun as well. I enjoy seeing forum culture at work, and being able to talk to others about things to others who are also thoughtful/intelligent.

 

[Ermine]

I've learned a lot about myself here and I've grown a lot. I also like most of the people here. Intellectual interaction is quite important for me, and I don't get much of that IRL, so this place is great for me intellectually.

But at the same time, it's decreased my productivity, and narrowed my hobbies a bit. But I don't think being on this forum is a problem unless I treat it like a security blanket or stay too long. I sometimes have a habit of wasting too much time by going back through old posts and threads. I'm fine just so long as I only read new threads and am selective about the threads I post in. For example, as much as I love the silly threads and our IRC channel, I tend to avoid them as they are huge time suckers and are quite addictive.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

As with anything, this forum is what you make of it. I found that I have learned about myself in that peripheral thoughts I've had has been articulated by others and help my get a clearer understanding of myself. I find that productive.

Of course there is sacrifices made. I work on my novel less often but I find when I do, I am more productive. I think when I try to focus on the same thing for too long, quality suffers. Something I have learned is that if I write about other things besides my novel idea, it helps focus ideas and rhythm for when I do work on my novel.

 

[Fedayeen]

not sure about 1, but as for 2 well....I use it to pass the time when i've got nothing else to do so its not doing any harm

 

[Ermine]

Nobody's got nothing to do. Just had to.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

At the same time, unfortunately, I am not writing because at the moment I enjoy organizing my thoughts on the forum and reading what others have to say more than working on my novel.

What was it that inspired you to start the novel.
I don't agree with the idea of writing if your not enjoying it, sure the editing can be a pain to do, but if you’re not enjoying the creative part then what makes you think someone else will?
Stories are born from thoughts, unfortunately our thoughts wander and with them goes our motivation, you've just got to rediscover whatever thoughts you were thinking when you first got excited about the story. Or if you can't do that why not take a break, go somewhere and do something, anything; then come back and see your novel from a fresh perspective, with fresh ideas.

1. I'm constantly learning about myself regardless of what I'm doing.
2. Time here may not be overly productive, but I enjoy it.

 

[snowqueen]

Being on the forum has been an extraordinary adventure for me. I've learned a huge amount about myself - particularly in terms of understanding my past. I now understand totally why I had no friends as a small child up till 12 years old when I finally made a friend. I understand why my mother hated me and still finds me totally exasperating. I understand what went wrong in my relationships and that seems to be helping me to be much clearer about the kind of person who is good for me. I understand other people much better and find myself much less afraid of others. I can sit back more, let people be, work out what makes them tick and then have a much better idea of how to handle them so the relationship is more productive (especially useful at work). My anxiety levels have gone right down and I feel much more in control of my emotions in a good way because I now understand how my emotions work - particularly the issue of delayed reaction. I even went to a party the other day and was quite comfortable talking to people I didn't previously know!!!!! And they seemed to like me even though I revealed some of my odder thoughts - just I managed to do it in a non-threatening way which surprised me no end.

Yes it is definitely worth my time being here. I feel a real sense of community with the people here. I really like the people here - it feels like a sanctuary from the real world - having had a home as a child which felt unsafe, I have to say that here feels a lot like the home I always wished I'd had.

 

[Android]

My initial experience with this forum was filled with joy at finding so many people similar to myself in some way. Now, I think I use it as a way of discovering more about myself.. this is done in a few different ways: new ideas/words etc to me, articulating my thoughts on questions I would never otherwise be asked to answer, debates that don't turn into full out arguments, and more. I don't feel quite so weird after being on here for the last month or so... though I am certainly weird, and love weird things.

I was an absurdist before I came to this forum.. I just didn't have a word for it. After running into the word here somewhere, I was finally able to get some outside clarification and understanding of where my mind was already going. That has had a great impact on my interaction with my closer friends in that I've been able to explain my philosophy to them in a way that they can finally understand.

Transhumanism is something else that I first found a word for on this forum.. and I've been debating with myself and others since then about how I feel about it. It's a love/hate relationship. There have been many other similar instances.

As to whether or not it is worth my time.. very much yes. By that I mean the time I spend here is always worth the effort.. though I do avoid the forum at times so that the ideas I'm working on in my brain don't get muddled up with something else. Actually.. I'd say I avoid the internet.. not just this forum. It scrambles my eggs!

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Yes it is definitely worth my time being here. I feel a real sense of community with the people here. I really like the people here - it feels like a sanctuary from the real world - having had a home as a child which felt unsafe, I have to say that here feels a lot like the home I always wished I'd had.

That is very touching Snow. I stand in awe of you Fe.

1. They are learning more about themselves from being here.

I've learned a great deal about myself here. Before coming to the forum I had very overbearing Ti and there were spans of time I was sure I had no 'genuine' emotions. This forum has also helped me collate my thoughts and introduced me to new enlightening perspectives. Yeah I've learned a lot here, I'm still learning actually.

I've also learned to embrace my eccentricities since coming here.

2. They consider their time spent here productive or detrimental or both.

Productive, but I do get carried away occasionally. It's fun to spar and nice to have people to bounce ideas off of though.

 

[snowqueen]

That is very touching Snow. I stand in awe of you Fe.

Thanks, Adair. Actually this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently because I used to feel inadequate around Fe but now I know I'm INTP, I'm actually amazed at how much I've developed it! I think a lot of it is simply age, of course, but also I saw a lot of social injustice as a child and it affected me deeply and so I set my Ti to try to understand injustice and how we could make the world a better place for everyone - so naturally that meant I had to start engaging with people. I worked in mental health services for years and other human services which is quite unusual for INTPs I think. But it got too much because I simply couldn't sustain the emotional demands. Now I work on the problems in a university in an intellectual way and it's much better - and I can influence my students who are much more emotionally skilled (see as an INTP I am only a couple of steps away from creating Cog's army of ants - much easier to train up others to carry out my masterplan - I never quite saw it that way before, but it's quite true )

Like Crim says, writing it down makes it all much clearer!

 

[walfin]

a) I don't know.
b) Probably yes, because humans all have social needs.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Thanks, Adair. Actually this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently because I used to feel inadequate around Fe but now I know I'm INTP, I'm actually amazed at how much I've developed it! I think a lot of it is simply age, of course, but also I saw a lot of social injustice as a child and it affected me deeply and so I set my Ti to try to understand injustice and how we could make the world a better place for everyone - so naturally that meant I had to start engaging with people.

Nowadays it seems like it's so easy to just close your eyes and pretend nothing is wrong with the world. Not to rant or anything; but it always amazed me how some emotional(and supposedly empathetic) people could always blow there own problems out of proportion and ignore everyone else's pain. [my bad didn't mean to get depressing ]

I worked in mental health services for years and other human services which is quite unusual for INTPs I think. But it got too much because I simply couldn't sustain the emotional demands.

My brother works with the extremely mentally ill. It's very hard on him and he is an E. From what he tells me; I doubt I could manage it.

Now I work on the problems in a university in an intellectual way and it's much better - and I can influence my students who are much more emotionally skilled (see as an INTP I am only a couple of steps away from creating Cog's army of ants - much easier to train up others to carry out my masterplan - I never quite saw it that way before, but it's quite true )

An army of sleep deprived grad students; I'm so frightened
Pray tell what is your master plan anyway?

 

[Felan]

I come here because I am weary of not speaking and worried that in silent internal conversation my thoughts could become detached from reality. Sometimes I come during the work day because I am struggling with how to do some code and a short break helps to clear the cobwebs. Lastly I come because of the caliber of the posters.

At times I spend too much time here. Most often it provides a welcome release that helps me get on with other things.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

I think I might be happier now that I'm on here. I guess that counts for something... I just hate how I'm so all or nothing about things, to the point of obsession, like I enjoy being on here a little too much and because there are no blatant negative consequences (like a debilitating hangover or the forum not answering my calls or telling me to shut the hell up), I keep on keeping on vs. being productive, whatever that means...

 

[Toad]

I feel like I am becoming dependent on this forum to distract me from my pain.

 

[eudemonia]

Being on this forum has affected my whole life! I came off the forum last year because I was addicted to it and it was taking too much of my time. But my 14 year old son told me to go back onto it. He told me that I was funnier, happier and more pleasant to be with when I was on the forum. I was also more stressed because I never had any time - but that he told me - was a price worth paying. When I came off the forum I was more dull and indifferent about life. The forum has affected me emotionally. I feel more confident and I allow my Te and Ne out more to play. Before, I lived in my head and the world was a stage in which I acted a part somehow separate from who I was.

I have made friends on the forum; I have talked to them on Skype and I hope one day I might visit them I have met Snowqueen and had a couple of very pleasant lunches in London with her I have learned so much - not just about content - but more importantly about other people from other cultures and backgrounds. this has made me more open, more tolerant and more curious about the world in general. I talk to people I never would come across irl. What a privilege that is

The time thing is a problem. I suspect it will become more of a problem going forward as I am applying for a full time job at a university. I have spend the last year probably wasting time on the forum. But, whilst I feel guilty about this and itemise all the papers and books I should have read - there is a rebellious streak in me that says, 'hell, enjoy yourself for once; its been a long time!'

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Before, I lived in my head and the world was a stage in which I acted a part somehow separate from who I was.

I often thought that if the all the world is a stage, I must be the cameraman filming it for tv or posterity or something. Never an actor or director.

 

[snowqueen]

Before, I lived in my head and the world was a stage in which I acted a part somehow separate from who I was.

I often thought that if the all the world is a stage, I must be the cameraman filming it for tv or posterity or something. Never an actor or director.

I was thinking about this the other day actually because this is my experience too. I was reflecting that my 'reality' is actually in my head - my inner world is the real world for me. So whenever I have to do anything in the Real World - action - it feels like a performance. I think though, as I have got older, my 'performing self' feels less unreal than it used to, which is why I feel much more comfortable in the world. However, if I stop and reflect, it is still very much the case that when I am on my own I feel 'whole' and when I have to take action, that wholeness starts to break up.

I know INTJs are control freaks in the external world - but I think there is a control issue for INTPs too but it manifest in a different way. I feel in control when I'm inside myself, but as soon as I have to interact with others I feel out of control and that discomforts me and used to always make me retreat, sometimes at a great pace. It is *always* an effort to come out of myself - sometimes not a great effort especially around other introverted intuitives (INFP, INTJ and INFJs) and that is why I have a lot of them as friends, I think. Other types I like to be around are the extroverted intuitives but in much smaller doses. So while INTJs cope with the feeling of loss of control by trying to control the external world and others, INTPs simply resort to retreating back into the place where they feel in contol - inside themselves.

Paradoxically, I actually love talking to other people because it is so stimulating and when I find someone I *can* talk to without feeling out of control, I really really enjoy it! Hence Nia and I meet for a quick lunch before going to an exhibition and 5 hours later we are still in the restaurant, the lunchers have gone and some people are starting to come in for dinner!! Anyone looking at us would have thought we were total extroverts!

Shakespeare as usual sums up the performativity of human life:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
(from As You Like It 2/7)

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
(Macbeth 5/5)

For those of you interested in more intellectual notions of performativity, Judith Butler is worth reading

http://www.theory.org.uk/ctr-butl.htm
​

 

[Beat Mango]

There was an awesome sense of belonging when I first came across the forum and the MBTI stuff, and I've learned heaps, especially from some of the wiser old heads. I am a bit obsessive with the MBTI stuff recently though, where every relationship or interaction I'm analysing it and trying to fit it into the typology - that's to do with my obsessiveness but it's still a pain. For that reason I tried to take a break from the forum recently for a few days but only lasted two.

 

[Carnap]

I hear you. Every time I come back after a break I wonder why I left.

I think it helps me doubt myself less when I do indeed use typology to help me think of why people are giving me certain advice, etc. I know my sister likes to call me a pseudo intellectual and minimize me and discourage me from going further in an "impractical" field of work because she is an ISTJ and has no use for theory/philosophy.

My mom sometimes criticizes me for certain choices and I just have to tell myself to listen carefully to everyone, but in the end not to let their personalities make me doubt my own capacities.

Especially with persuing a PhD. I want to do that. And contrary to what everyone says, you can do loads of things with a PhD in philosophy (law, foreign relations, writing, paid research, teaching, etc).

I have been most happy, and most successful, when I do things that I am passionate about.

Ok, this is getting off topic. Me me me.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

Ok, this is getting off topic. Me me me.

No it's not. I asked about you.

 

[Beat Mango]

My mom sometimes criticizes me for certain choices and I just have to tell myself to listen carefully to everyone, but in the end not to let their personalities make me doubt my own capacities.

Especially with persuing a PhD. I want to do that. And contrary to what everyone says, you can do loads of things with a PhD in philosophy (law, foreign relations, writing, paid research, teaching, etc).

I have been most happy, and most successful, when I do things that I am passionate about.

Good on you for having the strength to stick to that. I think, maybe it's to do with being an INTP, I always felt like I have to take everyone's advice seriously, or at least analyse it scrupulously to see if it is correct. I'm starting to realise now (Fi?) that that doesn't work, that I am allowed to value certain things without knowing why or having to defend them.

 

[Carnap]

Good point. I take other people's opinions way too seriously. Even if someone told me I was bad at something I like, I would take it so seriously that I would start to doubt my own capacities. In fact, one teacher at my school told my my paper sucked and I cried every time I opened a book for a week. I told another teacher about it and he scolded her.

 

[Invoke Ninja's True Power]

I learned that SJs are the bane of my existence, I realize the importance of them and respect that but when you get the short end of the societal stick its hard to get over it

 

[Cryss Winters]

I learned that SJs are the bane of my existence, I realize the importance of them and respect that but when you get the short end of the societal stick its hard to get over it

We, as the short end of the stick, have to get over it.
Good luck. ​

 

[Adamastor]

Good on you for having the strength to stick to that. I think, maybe it's to do with being an INTP, I always felt like I have to take everyone's advice seriously, or at least analyse it scrupulously to see if it is correct. I'm starting to realise now (Fi?) that that doesn't work, that I am allowed to value certain things without knowing why or having to defend them.

I relate to that. When I said in a conversation with my sister about the way I analyse what other told me she seemed quite puzzled (I'm missing a better word), I took this reaction as she did not relate to it at all and, though I'm not certain, I believe she is somewhat ExFP (ENFP maybe, I am not this familiar with MBTI system), so I believe this has to do with Fi...

EDIT:
Answering to the topic's question:
I find it amazing to relate to so many situations you guys tell me. Since this never happens IRL, I find this forum a really good to spend a hour, or two (right now I'm waiting/resting til 7p.m to go to karate class), relaxing and growing as person: its funny and scary how similiar some of you seem to me, maybe I think this way because most of the discussions I find here, the living experience registeres, shared here I cannot find elsewhere

 

[Morel Panic]

I'm new, but I feel like I'm already qualified to say a few things I've got out of this forum

1. This forum gives me hope that not everyone in the world is a shallow, blithering idiot.
2. Posting here gives me a reason to materialize my otherwise very abstract and bizarre comments into a concrete point. Normally, I explain very few of my ideas, but posting (and thinking about posting) a few times has helped me to organize a piece of my mind.
3. I'm new not only to this site, but to the internets at large (I really didn't use anything online except wikipedia and reference stuff until I got fast internet about a month ago) so a chance to get used to it in a environment I can get along with relatively well means a lot to me.

Thank you...

 

[ntfbfi]

I have only been to this forum for a couple of days. I am not sure I have enough experiences/time to answer this question but all i can say is I have at least felt a sense of belonging in here. There were a lot of feeling that I can't explain/express or I didn't undertsand but I have found the answers here. It is nice to know I am not a freak, to know there is lots of people who think in the way as I think, who feel the way I feel. As some of you have mentioned, it is also good for me to type out my beliefs, arguements in here in order to organize my thoughts.