Men are expected to do the chasing. Men do not have psychic mental reading powers, what they do have is 5-10 times more testosterone than women, testosterone being the prime contributor to "libido". Women often play "hard to get", as a part of the courting (and not wanting to be labeled as "loose" etc). okcupid data also shows that women deem 80% of the men to be below average apperance-wise. Do you see a problematic pattern here? I do
Bothering people on the street, or just people who are in a setting that doesn't specifically indicate they want to talk with strangers isn't really defensible or something one can portray as necessary or a necessary implication of biology.
If I walk down the street in a large city, I'm going somewhere. If I don't make eye contact or stop up or otherwise signal social availability, don't disturb me. People who unilaterally decide to spend my attention, energy and time on them can sod off.
People who aren't capable of seeing when someone signals social availability should err on the side of caution.
This applies to more things than cat-calling and is basic gender neutral stranger etiquette. People like in that video are a noticeable and annoying minority, even in the US. In Norway, it's so socially unacceptable that it's not as much of a problem as there, luckily.
In regards to playing hard to get and also a
giant tangent:
The solution is probably that the statistical woman has to get over herself and her insecurity if she feels she absolutely needs to be chased so much that she'll mess with someone's head and internally justify it, and the statistical male has to have the self-respect to not chase after women who are playing shitty mind games.
The uglier cousin of playing hard to get, the pro-active strategy of negging, also needs to be taken out behind the shed and shot in the head, and like with playing hard to get, it probably won't happen without a combination of it becoming ineffective (more females having the self-respect to not fall for that shit) and stigmatized... and the subset of men who do that to shrink through more and more not seeing it as something they need to do and trying to internally justify it.
It's not really quantitative gender libido differences that these things come from. It's more about the statistical female's want to feel desired by that which they find desirable and want to have sex with it, and the statistical male's want to have sex with that which is desirable and be desired by it, and these having been twisted into these more concrete forms of expressions and tactics employed for the purpose of obtaining those feelings. And of course, as you mentioned, there's the angle of playing hard to get having been culturally acceptable due to certain sexual-moral ideas in some cultures.
Playing hard to get or negging is not necessary in the slightest to fulfill such feelings, luckily, and they have strong negative side effects on people's psyches and culture in general.
Sidenote: How testosterone affects libido quantitatively is likely affected by other sex(female/male)-specific things, so while there is a correlation within sexes, cross-comparison is not that simple. Qualitative statistical differences have also been observed between the statistical man/female.
), i don't believe it matters for the stuff i quoted earlier. With that said, any advances after a clear "no" is ofc harassment.
