What do exactly INTPs love about INFPs?

[elanor]

So I have an INTP friend, and I know that he loves me but just don't know what he finds cool about me as he's not telling me. He once told me I was like the perfect person. But... why? xD
So... what do you like about us INFPS? I think we're usually not as smart as you, but we can be smarter in emotional things, but you don't value those things so highly... so..
Well, share your opinions!

 

[Ermine]

Well, the things he finds awesome about you could be beyond being an INFP, but I wouldn't know.

But I guess I could tell you what I like about my xNFP sister. I love how she's a very mature, intelligent soul. She's very self aware (while I'm very introspective as well, I'm a bit out of touch with my feelings so it can be challenging for me). She is also quite empathetic and tries to help everyone. While I don't understand this part of her, I envy this ability. I tend to be too aloof for my own good. We also share Ne as our auxiliary function, so we have a lot of fun bouncing ideas off each other and generally being silly.

And I wouldn't say that we INTPs don't value emotional smarts. I may not understand emotions too well, but the older I get, the more I realize that emotional intelligence is much more valuable than my academic intelligence.

 

[echoplex]

Just based on type, it would seem that INFPs share the INTP's knack for knowing just the right word or expression for something. It's just that the INFP's priority is more likely to be the overall feel of the expression. For example, they would have a keen sense of just what to say to convey the desired feeling. Where an INTP might be so busy trying to be logical and inadvertently hurt feelings, an INFP might be focused on how to soften the blow of the message (if they care about the other's feelings, that is) perhaps at the expense of logical accuracy.

 

[Crayon]

Err, scientific analysis aside:

Well... My best friend is an INFP, and to me, her best quality is her kindness. I tend to value that a lot, since i don't really have it but seem to constantly appreciate it.
She's also a really good listener who can put up with all my excentric rants. And she's just... good, and creative and smart. Patient. A bit like the perfect mysterious stranger you know?

Much like you do with that guy, i tend to wonder why she hangs around me at all. So yeah, i don't think it's that complicated. Though it's different for everyone, of course. The Jung theory can't cover it all. :>

 

[Felan]

The INFPs I dated in the past were great at invigorating life, giving everything more color. INFPs sometimes freak out and can get carried away into unpleasant self-perpetuating emotional cycles, I think INTPs (or at least I was) are rather good at listening and curbing this tendancy.

I think its this combined with a shared abstraction communication that makes INTPs and INFPs such a great combination.

 

[ViS]

My best friend is an INFP and, honestly, out friendship is one of the only things in the world that I can't put my finger on with precision. He has the very same kind of wit that I do, shares my interests and is amazingly genuine and loyal. He's also one of the few people who aren't afraid to point out my mistakes (though that's down to familiarity rather than personality type), which I really do value. If I really had to point at something, I'd probably just end up waggling my entire hand in confusion.

I guess it's the attraction of someone who's similar enough to understand everything we say before we even say it but is different enough to be constantly new and refreshing. We're always putting out three words of a sentence before falling silent and the other going "Yeah, I know what you mean".

Instead of second-guessing yourself and him, just know that while an INTP may seem purposefully distant and unforthcoming, all they're doing is trying to figure out the exact words to use and doing exactly what you're doing. It takes a long time for an INTP to decide on just how they feel about something intimate, be it a close friend, a life decision or loved one but they're there for life when they do. In fact, the decision is actually made very quickly. It's our desire for precision in expression and wealth of bad experiences (not necessarily bad events in our lives but the way we look back on past situations and constantly draw up ways in which we could have handled them better) that lead us to constantly ponder exactly how we're going to go about doing something.

 

[fullerene]

So... what do you like about us INFPS? I think we're usually not as smart as you, but we can be smarter in emotional things, but you don't value those things so highly... so..
Well, share your opinions!

ooh soo much... haha. Well, if you want to impress him and start up an interesting conversation, emotional knowledge is a good place to start. I'm going out with an INFP atm, and she took me off-guard when she started talking about the difference between embarrassment and shame, mentioned which other emotions they were close to, etc. The shades of differences, etc. Like you guys, our relationships have to start as friendships that grow together... so it's a good place to start.

Another thing that's really cool is the solid core of principles, imo. It's probably similar to how (if you're attracted to INTPs) you enjoy how we have a broad knowledge base, can see how anything relates logically to just about everything else, etc. Your sense of purpose for life, and constant sifting through to learn which things are more important than others, is really attractive. That doesn't mean you have to be right, or act like you have every answer to every value-based question... but the fact that you're working on it and stay consistent (act out what you actually think/believe) is really attractive. INFPs are certainly the most-honest Feelers. When I was younger, I actually used to cringe at empathy, because it was quite simply fake. I didn't feel it, so it just looked like people were going through the motions to look sorry for each other, and the hypocrisy made me want to vomit. It doesn't help that you're going to be accused of being a psychopath, and possibly forced into counseling, if you say you don't empathize, as a child. ENFPs can make empathy seem reasonable, and show how it explains how people act really well, but INFPs are honest and self-consistent enough that you can see it for real. I don't see INFPs empathize and think "how overdone! That's disrespectful and disgraceful, acting like that around someone who's just been hurt," like I used to when I was younger. It's... I dunno, just "real"--which is then respectable too.

Other than that, there're all those nice little perks of the INxx types. Social stigmas and traditions can be thrown out the window, while we pay attention to each other... we can sit around quietly and not feel like we have to be exciting for or entertain each other... those littler kinds of things, which let you be yourself and not have to worry so much.

 

[shoeless]

this is interesting. both my mother and middle brother are infp's, but they're completely different people, and i appreciate my brother as a person much more than i do my mother.

my mother seems... kind of flaky, loopy, ridiculous in a lot of ways, and not even in a cute way. i think she "feels" a little too much and doesn't have a very developed Te (?) or whatever, which makes her... as horrible as this sounds, kinda stupid. i can't tell you how many arguments i've gotten into with her that just loops around and around, with her core defense being "i just know". it's frustrating beyond BELIEF.

my brother however, he is both empathetic & understanding AND level-headed & logical, which i truly appreciate. i see a lot of what i wish i could be in him.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

I can tell you, the thing I most appreciate about INFPs is the honesty and vulnerability I've seen in most of the ones I've encountered. Truly being opposite to the SJ mindset, they're really aware that there are a lot of ways to interpret the world and know they might not be holding the best or the right one...

And they want to be open to how other people think about these things, but they're afraid of it because harsh, callous people have and will be harsh and mean towards them, trying to smash the infp's opinions into whatever shape this other person wants. But, even so, the infps (somehow) stay open and aware.

Its a delicate and fragile thing that I see in them that I just find beautiful. A stance of precarious innocence that seems almost impossible to last in the world as I've experienced it.

And, as mentioned, the common ground of understanding between the two types is always a delight.
​

i can't tell you how many arguments i've gotten into with her that just loops around and around, with her core defense being "i just know". it's frustrating beyond BELIEF.

That really sounds like a J thing to me... Very much at odds with what I've experienced of INFPs.
​

 

[fullerene]

likewise... "I just know" is usually an Ni thing... which is an xNxJ function. Coupled with Te, the NTJs can usually explain it... but the xNFJs both "just know" and have no real logic behind them to explain it.

 

[Black Pat]

@ elanor: "So... what do you like about us INFPS?"

They are formidable intellects* who aren't also emotional cripples. That's pretty admirable.

* I like to think of XNFPs as the "intellectual Fs". I guess the XNXP just means we see the world similarly, but the "F" gives these people access to a repository of information that I (and many other INTPs) find befuddling and haunting.

 

[Almost]

I think we're usually not as smart as you, but we can be smarter in emotional things, but you don't value those things so highly... so..

I think we're just good at memorizing and locking ourselves in our room until we figure 'it' out. INFPs are quite smart and for the reason you mentioned above. We may not necessarily put high value in harmony but we do find it amazing that you're capable of reading people's emotions. And caring.

 

[Ghost1986]

i love it when their not around me. i love it when mos people are not around me.

 

[Thread Killer]

Open sweetness. Open caring. But we have a similarity in our general perceptions of things which makes social contact easy. They help me open up and warm up tremendously and some of my best and most prized friends are and have been INFPs. When you guys are good, you are very, very good to have around. I tend to get on better with the females, though. I've come across enough male INFPs who were...not so great. Just my bad luck, I guess.

 

[Razare]

So I have an INTP friend, and I know that he loves me but just don't know what he finds cool about me as he's not telling me. He once told me I was like the perfect person. But... why? xD
So... what do you like about us INFPS? I think we're usually not as smart as you, but we can be smarter in emotional things, but you don't value those things so highly... so..
Well, share your opinions!

When I have a conversation with my INFP friend, it's a conversation that beats all others. There's just an immediate connection there that I don't feel when I talk with other people.

That connection could exist among INTX types, but the connection is likely to only be topic oriented and break-down when it comes to our emotional sides.

 

[crashman]

INFP are really honest and helpful people. They like to talk about politics which is not my interest at all.

 

[Toad]

I think I'm an INFP...Do you guys like me?

 

[Jennywocky]

I love their:
- kindness to others
- passionate idealism, so relentlessly positive and hopeful
- Ne-style play and how we can bounce anywhere together

I think I'm an INFP...Do you guys like me?

Is there a picture so I can see how cute you are first?

 

[Toad]

I love their:
- kindness to others
- passionate idealism, so relentlessly positive and hopeful
- Ne-style play and how we can bounce anywhere together



Is there a picture so I can see how cute you are first?

Love me for the things you listed!

 

[WoodsWoman]

Thank you for this thread - it reminds me that others value me for a reason, it isn't just random chance, and that I can value these same things about myself.

 

[ckm]

I would love to have an INFP friend. There is still a part of me that thinks I'm INFP.

 

[nemo]

I would love to have an INFP friend. There is still a part of me that thinks I'm INFP.

It seems to say that you are in your signature...

I think a friend of mine is INFP and she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. I don't know if this applies to all INFPs, but she has the ability to see good in people even if they can't see it in themselves.

 

[ckm]

It seems to say that you are in your signature...

Quite so, but I think it's wrong. Ti and Ne are my most developed functions, and Fe is my least developed, all suggesting INTP. However Fi is far more developed than Si, and Si is INTP's tertiary function. Also, my only MBTI test results have been INFP. Hence the confusion.

 

[Firehazard159]

/me loves toad.

Anyway, my niece is INFP, and we're best friends. I do think she's the greatest... she and I connect on most levels, though it's usually me talking 'down' to her, but that's simply an age / experience thing.

We just understand each other on most levels. It's great. The only time I struggle is when she's super emotional, I can't really help there, but otherwise... I'm like her advisor / big brother / best friend kind of thing :P

 

[fullerene]

awww...

I'm actually growing to think that INFPs don't need any help with their emotions at all anyway. They really just need you to not get upset with them for being emotional, and ask questions to help you understand how they're processing things. As soon as they're understood, more or less, it seems like they're just fine again.

 

[crashman]

I think I'm an INFP...Do you guys like me?

Haha, not funny. Yr joke doesnt interest us at all. i think u should go to kindergarden school and play with kids there, u retards.

 

[Toad]

I wasn't joking. Why would you think that was a joke? I really do think I'm an INFP.

 

[Enne]

If I were to guess, I would say you were an ISFP.

 

[fullerene]

I wasn't joking. Why would you think that was a joke? I really do think I'm an INFP.

oh, c'mon toad, you know better than to take that seriously . That guy's first post was creating a thread where he asked "why do INTP people love flaming and making fun of people?" Don't worry about it .

 

[bluesquid]

I have a good friend thats an INFP. He and I both love to drink. We both like to read and talk about pithy topics. But we are vastly different.

It annoys me how subjective he is sometimes.

i.e.

Food. every decision he makes about food is "brilliant". "Ah, this is great, so good" He has to qualify his food. His emotional well being is wrapped up in that single meal.

And that subjectivity bleeds into everything. Including content of conversation. Its a competition for him, because he has always been behind.

I might talk about something fascinating I read. he will take every topic from then on and talk it to death. Captain obvious.

dont think they can listen well either.

 

[asdfasdfasdfsdf]

this is interesting. both my mother and middle brother are infp's, but they're completely different people, and i appreciate my brother as a person much more than i do my mother.

my mother seems... kind of flaky, loopy, ridiculous in a lot of ways, and not even in a cute way. i think she "feels" a little too much and doesn't have a very developed Te (?) or whatever, which makes her... as horrible as this sounds, kinda stupid. i can't tell you how many arguments i've gotten into with her that just loops around and around, with her core defense being "i just know". it's frustrating beyond BELIEF.

my brother however, he is both empathetic & understanding AND level-headed & logical, which i truly appreciate. i see a lot of what i wish i could be in him.

could it possibly be that since your mother is supposed to guide you, and kind of , in a way, tell you what to do - that you observe all these weaknesses in her? whereas your brother is not supposed to take on the role of parenting?

 

[Zero]

I don't know that I've ever met an INFP, I think it would be more obvious if I had. There does seem to be a certain type of person I constantly clash with. I don't know that they're INFPs. On a one on one basis and if I'm kind of careful I get along with INFJs. I like them because they're caring and understanding. I think INFPs are kind of the same way. I've found some INFJs to be a little fragile/sensitive. Not all, but some. I don't tend to get along too well with "romantics". They're welcoming people, but I tend to offend them.

 

[Eef]

Well I find INFP's fascinating because they are emotional. For an INTP who prefers to shrug off the feeling away makes it more harder for them to express their feelings.

 

[bluesquid]

Well I find INFP's fascinating because they are emotional. For an INTP who prefers to shrug off the feeling away makes it more harder for them to express their feelings.

I think it makes them angry and hurts their feelings all at once.

they need that.

 

[asdfasdfasdfsdf]

Haha, not funny. Yr joke doesnt interest us at all. i think u should go to kindergarden school and play with kids there, u retards.

your seemingly sense of pride in being intp makes me think you are not an intp.

 

[FrostFern]

Well I'm an INTP that's an official INFP wannabe. I think I've reached a stage in my life where I've become burnt out on logic. I get sick of discussing science and other "nerdy" topics all the time.

I admire INFP's as companions too. On the whole they're the most stimulating to converse with. They have more passion and emotional depth, yet they share the same disdain for myopic/rigid thinking that INTP's do. They also have a way of being positive/reassuring without sounding trite or insincere.

 

[Words]

Obviously the "F" that we lack. generally, that "sincerity aura" that's easy to detect. It just lessens my usually guarded self and my hostility.

 

[bluesquid]

But they seriously lack the integrity. They as most F types are prone to lies.​

 

[Words]

Still, when they do, its pretty obvious. Lying, in my opinion, can be a form of sincerity when comforting others.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

My infp friend hugged me. It was not a reciprocal hug. I hate anything to do with hugging. I am traumatized.

WTF! Why would any intp in their right mind love traits of infps??? They are so squishy!

 

[ashitaria]

Sigh...

I wish I can answer this but I've never met a single INFP or INTP or INTJ. The best I have is a female ENTJ, and she's bossy as hell.

 

[asmit127]

The only reasons I don't think this post was written by a girl I know is the Mac symbol, but she's technical enough to fake that Having read some of these replies I'd echo most of the positive ones.

In my case the biggest attraction is the reasoning and thought. She challenged me to debate after debate about serious issues (not intentionally, subjects just came up) and she had an answer to everything I said that actually made sense. I'm still in awe. I have 5 years more life experience than her and she made me feel stupid. That and her easy going attitude towards everything, and the aura of genuine kindness surrounding her that makes a room with her in better than one without.

Of course, assuming all INFP's to be as great as this one would be a big ask, but even if she's a liar (which I usually hate) I'd take her over a room of truthful E's anyday!

 

[ashitaria]

Haha, not funny. Yr joke doesnt interest us at all. i think u should go to kindergarden school and play with kids there, u retards.

I greatly resent callous judgment, especially when coupled with a lack of logic, objectiveness and grammar.

You should be the one going to kindergarten, not to play, but to learn.