I'm told that I should go here if I feel like annoying people, derailing threads, etc. So here I am.
So... I was in a terrible mood yesterday and I made this thread called "Idiot Thread" but it got closed because of this one existing. Now I'm here... typing. And I'm thinking that there are not enough stupid posts here. So I decide to just type random things in because, hey, who cares.
So... (now I derail) I was looking at this site where they say you can learn a language in an hour by deconstructing it. And I don't think so. But I bookmarked it anyway so I can read it later. Not that I plan to. But anyways, I also read about ice baths and this weird diet where you eat the same thing over and over and then pig out on Saturday. I think that one might work loosing weight, but it's probably not that healthy. Although the guy who said it worked was an athlete. So I guess it might be.
On another topic, I took this test and I'm Ti, Fi, Fe, THEN Ne. And I think it's true. The Ti Ne (INTP) is supposed to look at the big picture but remain detatched. The Fi Ne (INFP) is supposed to look at themselves but they don't care about the big picture where it doesn't apply to them. I think I look at the big picture, and I look at myself, and then I find myself in the big picture. And then I realize... "Oh, great. I don't mean much." And then I work on creating an impressive picture of myself so that when I die, I'll have a Wiki profile that says "Hey, this person was really smart in pretty much every subject, and they added something to the world." So then I'll look good on paper. But for every day purposes, nothing really matters. When you die, nobody cares if you were poor your whole life or anything as long as you did something and you were generally decent.
On the other hand, I feel like an idiot because I don't do enough little things to care about the people around me. I really do care about them... very much so actually. But I get so distracted creating my Wiki profile self and improving my big picture. So then I go out and use my persona (ENFP) to do things when I think fo it, but I never feel like I do enough. I don't understand if I should give up everything to help the poor kids in some country or if I should have a limit, or what. And then there are also people all around me that I want to help. Who should I care about more? The people around me, or the people in the big picture?
I ask myself things... what is the purpose of gathering wealth? What is the purpose of impressing people? What is the purpose of having an awesome wiki profile if I never impact the world in person, and if I never try to improve physical situations for hurting people? I do a lot of thinking, and I just end up feeling incredibley stupid and humbled by the whole thing.
I don't know what is important... me, or the big picture, or both. I don't know what matters in life... what you do inside, or outside, or both.
Logic does not answer questions. Logic is created by man. Man is fallible. Therefore logic is fallible. Finding out what the big picture is doesn't really matter if you never take part in it. Finding yourself doesn't matter if you never look at your part in the big picture. Finding yourself in the big picture does not make you any smarter than you were before to know what to do about it. Even if you apply logic, you're probably going to mess something up.
In conclusion, the only way to know what in the world you are doing, and what the meaning of life is, would have to be devine intervention. But even if you do your part, you're going to feel insignificant. And when all you really want is to not feel insignificant, life now just seems really... dull. Unimportant. Unsatisfying.
So... if you believe in God, you try to find that. I don't know about what other people believe, but if you're a Christian, you discover that somehow you are supposed to be important. But it's vegue. You can't help think... "There has to be something better than this." If there's not, then why am I going through any of this? So you just go through life really hoping that heaven is something spectacular. I mean really, REALLY, spectacular.
In other words... I'm really confused, and I'm tired of thinking. I hope I have more meaning than just a pawn in some big chess game called life.
Anyways.... I didn't mean to go all non-stupid on you all... but hey... I did derail didn't I? lol