The INTPf High Court of Justice

[walfin]

But not with court funds.

This submission bears merit.

Very well, then, costs of the proceedings are awarded against SpaceYeti for being a frivolous and vexatious litigant.

(We'll use the Court fees to pay for the popsicles)

 

[Montresor]

These court transcripts have been a very entertaining read. Now for the shredder.

 

[walfin]

Montresor was shredded.

 

[BigApplePi]

If there is no shred of evidence he is guilty how can we proceed with the trial?

 

[Jennywocky]

Here, have a popsicle. (There's more where that came from.)

 

[Montresor]

takes popsicle and leaves.

 

[BigApplePi]

Here, have a popsicle. (There's more where that came from.)

There is a fine imposed for bribes ya know.

 

[Absurdity]

takes popsicle and leaves.

No one approved your seizure of that precious foliage!

 

[BigApplePi]

takes popsicle and leaves.

When the law catches up with you there's going to be a meltdown.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Here, have a popsicle. (There's more where that came from.)

Not once I'm through with them! Or, rather, the witnesses who get out of hand.

 

[SpaceYeti]

There is a fine imposed for bribes ya know.

There's a bribe imposed for fines, jerk!

 

[Jennywocky]

*still boggled that some shredded guy just took a popsicle and walked outta here*

Should I tell him the popsicle wrapper failed its safety check? *confused*

 

[redbaron]

I'll share my popsicle with you Jenny, this one passed the safety check.

 

[Jennywocky]

*suspects a trick*

I don't want to put this in my mouth and have it explode all over my face, you know.

 

[Montresor]

I'm here to return this popsicle it exploded in my face.

 

[walfin]

Wow, you really weren't kidding about being able to pass for an SJ!

As for legalities, I ask the court to state its opinion on the separation of the "Philosophy and Faith" subforum into the "Philosophy" and "Faith and Spirituality".

-Duxwing

Muskrat v. United States, 219 U.S. 346 (1911)

The court does not issue advisory opinions.

(Per curiam: this court notes that we are not bound by the US Supreme Court or any other non INTPf authority)

 

[Jennywocky]

HOW MANY FORUMERS HAVE TO DIE BEFORE WE REALIZE THAT POPSICLE SAFETY NEEDS TO A PRIORITY FOR THIS COURT???

New restrictions on semi-automatic popsicle deployment.

Five-day waiting periods and secure, competent psychiatric reviews of people who want to purchase popsicles.

Popsicle violence doesn't have to happen, but apparently this country just doesn't care about whose lives are shattered by exploding popsicles.

 

[NoID10ts]

Someone punish me. Please. Spank me red as a baboons ass! Put me in chains! Tight ones, loose ones, I don't care. And whip me, too! I've been a bad, bad boy. Really dirty and nasty and I need to be straightened out. Well ... parts of me need to be straightened out anyway. Come on. Give it to me. I throw myself on the mercy of the court. Why court ... is that mercy or are you just happy to see me?

 

[Jennywocky]

@NoID10ts: Mua ha ha... we have popsicles just for you. Sweet mean baby-beating thorny acid-burned freaky-as-all-get-out popsicycleses, to make your skin burn with their sweet sweet ministrations....

 

[NoID10ts]

Thank you. I'll sit on one of these flesh eating popsicles. I'll sit on it and allow it to eat me from the inside. I feel "corrected" all ready.

 

[Jennywocky]

Berry-Butt Ripple, or Ooey-Gooey Caramella-Fella... take your pick.

 

[Cognisant]

You can't have a legal system without a public service to appoint it, it's madness.

Walfin needs to assigned to the role by a Department director of legislature or something.
As it stands he has no authority, having not been assigned his role by political process.

 

[NoID10ts]

Berry-Butt Ripple, or Ooey-Gooey Caramella-Fella... take your pick.

Surprise me!

 

[redbaron]

Surprise me!

*Sticks a popsicle in Noddy's butt*
Surprise!

 

[Jennywocky]

*Sticks a popsicle in Noddy's butt*
Surprise!

Well, I sure didn't see THAT coming!

 

[NoID10ts]

*Sticks a popsicle in Noddy's butt*
Surprise!

Oh yeah. *Giggles* That's cold! That's it. In and out. Slowly.... Slowly. Now swirl it a little. Yeah.

 

[Duxwing]

Oh yeah. *Giggles* That's cold! That's it. In and out. Slowly.... Slowly. Now swirl it a little. Yeah.

That's surprising and disturbing.

-Duxwing

 

[NoID10ts]

That's surprising and disturbing.

-Duxwing

You want in on this? The Popsicle is pretty much melted now, but the stick is still good to go. That is, if you don't mind a few splinters getting stuck in the tender walls of your anus.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Of whom do I ask for a contempt of court charge?

I believe everyone involved in bringing us this popsicle fiasco should be held in contempt.

*takes out cherry popsicle and slowly goes deep down on it*

Mmmmmphh yesh contemffft mmmmmmmmmm!

 

[redbaron]

Not sure what to say really. Although I suppose I brought this on myself.

 

[Jennywocky]

Of whom do I ask for a contempt of court charge? I believe everyone involved in bringing us this popsicle fiasco should be held in contempt.

*takes out cherry popsicle and slowly goes deep down on it*
Mmmmmphh yesh contemffft mmmmmmmmmm!

I'm hoping that wasn't the popsicle that Noddy was holding onto.

Not sure what to say really. Although I suppose I brought this on myself.

Yes, we blame you.

I mean, my god, they're not even practicing SAFE popsicling! Bare popsicles are going everywhere.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I'm hoping that wasn't the popsicle that Noddy was holding onto.

Well I'm not one to criticize ass3mouth popcicling if that's your thing but for me, I am strictly an oral connoisseur of cherry popsicles. Besides, Noddy's melted and Dux is doing things with his stick tha...

OK GODDAMNIT! ENOUGH WITH THE POPSICLE THING!

This is a court of LAW!!!! Show some respect!!

*reaches for another popsicle*

 

[Duxwing]

Well I'm not one to criticize ass3mouth popcicling if that's your thing but for me, I am strictly an oral connoisseur of cherry popsicles. Besides, Noddy's melted and Dux is doing things with his stick tha...

OK GODDAMNIT! ENOUGH WITH THE POPSICLE THING!

This is a court of LAW!!!! Show some respect!!

*reaches for another popsicle*

I'm not touching that stick after where it's been. Indeed, I hurled it into the incinerator that Cog built.

-Duxwing

 

[Jennywocky]

*reaches for another popsicle*

Way to pop someone's cherry popsicle in your mouth...

 

[Montresor]

You guys, these are exploding popsicles.

Are you sure you want to be doing this?

 

[walfin]

Of whom do I ask for a contempt of court charge?

I believe everyone involved in bringing us this popsicle fiasco should be held in contempt.

*takes out cherry popsicle and slowly goes deep down on it*

Mmmmmphh yesh contemffft mmmmmmmmmm!

YESS!!! At last, we have a shot at a proper battle!

Inappropriate Behavior v Montresor, Jennywocky, Noddy, Duxwing et al.

This is a private summons by Inappropriate Behavior.

Inappropriate Behavior is ordered to specify any other co-plaintiffs/defendants in his next post.

A jury shall be convened which will consist of the next 3 persons who post in this thread who are not joined as plaintiff or defendants (12, or even 7, is a bit unwieldy).

This case is adjourned to be set down for trial after the aforementioned conditions are satisfied.

 

[Jennywocky]

If it may please the court, it will be duly notified that I raised concern about popsicle safety as well as weaknesses in the popsicle wrappers involved in bulk purchases. i should not be included as a defendant in this lawsuit, I should be recused.

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Crap!! Jury duty....





.... Grabs popsicle on way out ....

 

[redbaron]

I mean, my god, they're not even practicing SAFE popsicling! Bare popsicles are going everywhere.

I can't say I feel bad about this. This is a great method for weaning stupid people out of society. Let all the idiots practice unsafe popsicling and then BAM! All the idiots will eventually die off and we'll be left with the true master race!

Popsicles for all!

 

[Jennywocky]

I can't say I feel bad about this. This is a great method for weaning stupid people out of society. Let all the idiots practice unsafe popsicling and then BAM! All the idiots will eventually die off and we'll be left with the true master race!

Popsicles for all!

Hmmm... maybe if I spend some time developing a secret immunity to popsicle powder...

 

[walfin]

Look like there are so many criminals here some are going to need a shyster an attorney. If I'm going to be a pro bono prosecuting attorney for the defense, I will require some means of supporting myself. I am going to humbly beg demand my salary be doubled, especially since I will need a secretary to explain all those rules to me.

I forgot about this matter.

In re BigApplePi

Your salary is hereby doubled from 0 to 0.

If it may please the court, it will be duly notified that I raised concern about popsicle safety as well as weaknesses in the popsicle wrappers involved in bulk purchases. i should not be included as a defendant in this lawsuit, I should be recused.

We can't have that. What would a trial be without you?

You can be one of the plaintiffs instead, then, to allow you to pursue your claim. I guess not everyone likes to have a popsicle explode in her face after she sucks it. All that sticky stuff.

Inappropriate Behavior & Jennywocky v Montresor, Noddy, Duxwing, SpaceYeti et al.

Joining SpaceYeti since he was the cause of the entire fracas for mentioning popsicles.

And baby, don't forget you've still got an appointment with me over my knee.

 

[loveofreason]

Do the plaintiffs have any graphic popsicle usage footage that jurors may be expected to examine in the course of this trial? Can the court and/or plaintiffs cover costs of any ensuing psychiatric treatment jurors may require? Does the court provide post-trial remedial hugs or teddy bears?

Tissues?

 

[walfin]

And there we have it. Our three jurors are: TheScornedReflex, redbaron & lor.



Lor, we can subpoena some witnesses to answer your questions later on.

 

[Montresor]

Do the plaintiffs have any graphic popsicle usage footage that jurors may be expected to examine in the course of this trial? Can the court and/or plaintiffs cover costs of any ensuing psychiatric treatment jurors may require? Does the court provide post-trial remedial hugs or teddy bears?

Tissues?

I submit into evidence Exhibit 1.b.16t - Clearly this individual has just watched the wizard of oz and listened to pink floyd at the same time.

While eating a popsicle.

 

[Etheri]

I'm not touching that stick after where it's been. Indeed, I hurled it into the incinerator that Cog built.

-Duxwing

How'd you hurl it anywhere without touching or, at the very least, getting close to it.

Anyways, logical flaws considered, I still think i'm outta here.

 

[Duxwing]

How'd you hurl it anywhere without touching or, at the very least, getting close to it.

Anyways, logical flaws considered, I still think i'm outta here.

Note my use of the participle tense: I'm no longer touching it, but I once did.

-Duxwing

 

[Etheri]

Note my use of the participle tense: I'm no longer touching it, but I once did.

-Duxwing

So 'after where it's been' refers to your own hand? (or cogs' machine?)

 

[Montresor]

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" BANG BANG BANG

ow my ears

 

[Duxwing]

So 'after where it's been' refers to your own hand? (or cogs' machine?)

'Where it's been' is inferred from context.

-Duxwing

 

[Jennywocky]

I submit into evidence Exhibit 1.b.16t - Clearly this individual has just watched the wizard of oz and listened to pink floyd at the same time.

While eating a popsicle.

This adequately represents my claim.

I was very unhappy after my head exploded the first five times, and will become even more unhappy if the next popsicle does exactly the same thing as the other five did. Perhaps three is a proper number of exploding heads to expect in regards to popsicle inhilation, but the number should not be more than three and shall be greater than two. As soon as we approach four, we just want to right get out, and of course five is entirely irresponsible and insufferable.

I'm suffering a high amount of mental anguish at the thought of #6 doing exactly the same thing as the other five, and yet also harboring a strange disappointment at the thought of the popsicles being undependable enough that perhaps #6 will not at all result in the exploding of my sinus cavities, and the dichotomy between those two conflicting desires is instigating a great deal of angst as I am not sure how I feel at this point in time... an entirely unsatisfactory state of affairs.

I would certainly do it again for a Klondike bar, but a popsicle?

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" BANG BANG BANG

Why change things up now?