The First Rule Of INTPforum Is: You Do Not Talk About INTPforum

[Sapphire Harp]

Joke title aside, how often do you find yourself talking about this forum with other people (both online and in person)?

When you do, do you disguise or marginalize your involvement with it?

Is anyone afraid of stigmatization for being invested in an internet community? Is there fear people will debase you as unable to handle 'real' relationships? Is that the fear behind any hiding of involvement?

I get the feeling that, while this forum means a lot to many, it really is not integrated into our lives. It is a hidden, secret thing... and over my time here at the forum, I have come to believe secrets are a destructive thing for INTPs.

Brain Enclosed in Flesh was touching on this subject when they were relating forum experiences to their psychologist in another thread... and Brain's psychologist seemed to be challenging for Brain to justify his involvement and enjoyment of the forum... (Which got me thinking about this...)

*Also, may there be associative stigma because of the general nature and quality of forums that most people encounter? (On the standard of, say... youtube video comments?)
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[Cryss Winters]

My life is a secret to outside people, I don't consider this forum any different. When I do share things about myself, I don't Not talk about this forum.​

Good topic, though. I'm awaiting to see how others feel.

...do we have the same font color...? >.>​

 

[Anling]

Well, I talk about it sometimes, but perhaps that's why Mom keeps nagging me about being more social. I do seem to get odd looks though. I don't think anyone I have mentioned it to really understands why I would want to participate. Bah, half of them probably still think of the internet as a source of evil.

Seriously, how is this that much different from having a pen pal?

 

[Xel]

I told my friend about this forum. He talks about the fourms he goes on all the time (though he never tells me their names) so he didn't seem to think it odd. I called the forum the "introvert" forum though in order to make the joke I was telling transparent.

 

[Zero]

This forum is irrelevant to others in my everyday life. Most of my "forums" are irrelevant, so they are called "my forums/the forums". My real friends know that I'm involved in several forums, the only relateable one being a writing forum. They tend to believe I'm editing or talking to writers on a writing forum. I haven't attempted to explain the INTP forum or any of the others, though they know I use a "typology". They tend to not have the interest in it I do, so I think they forget what kind of typology I'm invovled in and etc...

I will talk about this forum where it is relevant. I've talked about it on other type forums.

+ Sapphire, I just realized we're in the same state.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I will discuss things that come up on the forum; but I never talk about it directly. I don't want anyone from real life encroaching upon it. The secretive nature of this forum allows for the people here to share their thoughts without fear of judgment from people in real life. If I knew any intps I would share it with them, but I wouldn't reveal my username. It wouldn't be hard to figure out who I was; but they would have to go through a lot of threads at the very least.

@Sapphire
Why do you think secrets are destructive?

 

[Ermine]

I would discuss it more, but there's a ton of background information that you'd have to know by being here. Otherwise, it just seems like just another forum and I get a lot of crap for "talking to people I don't know". And none of my friends have an interest in MBTI like I do, though some know about it. There is way too much to explain about this place and I don't know where to start.

I sometimes introduce people IRL to the stuff on the funnier threads or where there is more stuff that is readily understandable.

 

[Decaf]

Abso-frickin-lutely.

I admit to participating in the forum often, but because of the feeling of stigma I couch it in a self-deprecating way. It allows me to make it known without feeling like I'll be judged for it, but it hurts a little to know that the significance of anything I add relating to this place is lessened because of the perception attached to it.

I take solace in the fact that early-adoption is always uncomfortable. The first incarnations of online social networking were just for nerds. The first video games were just for nerds. etcetera.

-edit- I kinda got off track of what I was going to say, but I think we are fighting against the bulk of what is out there right now, which isn't really worth reading.

First!

 

[echoplex]

I've talked about forums in general, but I don't think I've ever referenced this one in particular. I doubt most people even know what an INTP is. They'd probably think it was some medical condition (I suppose one could argue it is ) and worry that I was secretly suffering from it. I'd tell them to peruse the "INTP" section of the forum to learn of the symptoms. I'd want them to know just what I'm suffering from. Luckily, judging from some members, the prognosis might be good.

Remember, you don't have to suffer alone. There are people who can help -- total strangers on the internet.

and tbh, I think most people can already tell I can't really handle "real" relationships. There's nothing to find out.

and lol @ youtube comments.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I told one person once but made the mistake of saying "I don't think you'd like it or fit in well" (don't know her type but it isn't intp by a long shot). It didn't go over well and I wouldn't bother telling anyone else unless I found another INTP who looks like s/he needs help

 

[eudemonia]

I talk about the forum to my friends and obviously my family see me on it all the time. I love the fact that they think I'm weird. Its different when you're older I guess. You don't care so much what other people think and 'weird' is good - better than boring. My kids take the piss out of me and my husband gets irritated with me. He says he wonders why old people do it. Most older people have better things to do with their lives - yeah, like watching TV It's true that I don't play sport or go shopping but I do Tai Chi and am active in various faith related activities. I sometimes bring this forum up with people in casual conversation. I do it as a sort of test - what reaction will I get? Will they show an interest? Will they ask questions about it? That then shows me what kind of mind this person has and whether the relationship is worth pursuing or not

 

[didyouknow]

I talk about it a lot with some select friends. By now after months of me excitedly talking about MBTI and how it has impacted my life, they have a vague understanding of what it's about. Usually it comes up in conversation because I'll be thinking about a particular thread and I want to discuss it/debate it so they ask where I got it from. I also convinced my INTP friend to become a member, but she just lurks.

EDIT: To be honest, my friend, an INTJ, got angry at me for talking about it so much. She said I was using it to accept my problems and not do anything about it... gah, stop self-loathing and someone else does it for you

 

[walfin]

I told my ENTJ therapist about the existence of INTPc.

Won't do that here. It won't do to have SJ society at large coming here to invade us.

I suppose I might tell someone if I was reasonably sure that person was INTP.

 

[Carnap]

I think I already have a spy on here. Have thought of leaving several times.

 

[Waterstiller]

It didn't go over well and I wouldn't bother telling anyone else unless I found another INTP who looks like s/he needs help

I only talk about the forums I go on with other people who'd need such a niche community. Even then.. I know several INTP's in real life and online and have debated with myself on whether or not to tell them about this place; I have told a couple though who needed it. For me it's crossing a line of anonymity that I'm not really comfortable with.

 

[Carnap]

Yeah. Anonymity ! I hate being spied on. This forum is mine and yours, but not those close to us.

 

[snowqueen]

I have told a few people but not a lot - most wouldn't be that interested, I don't think. Sapph I think you'll find Brain is a woman!

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

It's true, I am. As far as talking about the forum, I kind of do the same thing as Decaf- I play it off as it being a component of my typical nerd self. I also lie about how much I'm on it, primarily to my husband. I know he considers it a waste of time, his being an ESXP.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Adair, I’m beginning to think that secrets are the flip-side of being afraid of judgment - which is sometimes better depicted as hiding yourself, being afraid to be and show what you are. One of the great reliefs most people joining this forum find at first is the relaxation of being themselves among others… but only being able to do it in secret.

I’m sure other types suffer similarly at their workplaces, but it seems like we INTPs are constantly hiding what we are, never revealing our natures except when we know it’s safe. The INTP social mirroring referenced is another manifestation of this, I think. It’s also what makes locating others of our type in real life so difficult, we hide from each other instinctively… and then come online to open up in a place kept secret… sometimes, by chance, this then extends back out into our primary lives… but not so often.

I don’t believe we would have such a vibrant community if our INTP lives routinely were more like we’d like them to be… Various things drive us on here and I think greater self-expression is definitely one of them. Secrets are just the opposite of that…

* * * * *
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Carnap and Waterstiller - what are you afraid of happening, should your anonymity be lost?
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Seriously, how is this that much different from having a pen pal?

I do see similarities, but the associations are completely different… and it’s public communication, for that matter. The internet definitely allows for different degrees of interactivity… I think the accepted understanding of pen pals comes from the time when that connection couldn’t become predominant in your social life.
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My real friends know that I'm involved in several forums, the only relateable one being a writing forum. They tend to believe I'm editing or talking to writers on a writing forum.

It’s more frequently understood when the internet communication has a clear, traditional purpose, isn’t it? “Oh, you’re using it for professional practice. That makes sense.” Self-understanding and self-growth… you’re supposed to get that in person over a few drinks, I suppose.

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I sometimes bring this forum up with people in casual conversation. I do it as a sort of test - what reaction will I get? Will they show an interest? Will they ask questions about it? That then shows me what kind of mind this person has and whether the relationship is worth pursuing or not.

Now, see… that is a thing I find interesting. What kind of reactions have you gotten Eudemnoia?
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I told my ENTJ therapist about the existence of INTPc. Won't do that here. It won't do to have SJ society at large coming here to invade us.

Is there more to this, Walfin? Is INTPcentral used as a sampling ground for psychologists? (Makes me think of the trolling psychology professor on City of Heroes… [article link])
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Sapph I think you'll find Brain is a woman!

Aye, I couldn’t remember. I wanted to get this on the forum during my dinner break from work, but I did not have the time to double-check about Brain. So sorry!
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[truthseeker72]

It's true, I am. As far as talking about the forum, I kind of do the same thing as Decaf- I play it off as it being a component of my typical nerd self. I also lie about how much I'm on it, primarily to my husband. I know he considers it a waste of time, his being an ESXP.

My girlfriend also knows about my participation in this forum, but she considers it "unproductive." I've told a few other friends and co-workers about it, but the responses have ranged from indifference to bewilderment. Nobody has expressed any interest in actually checking out the forum.

 

[Kuu]

No, I don't talk about INTPforum, or most other places I visit on the internet. Hm most of my friends (being a random picking of Ns) express only superficial amusement to things that I say; a great majority are met with indifference or incomprehension. Which is why I rarely talk about the stuff that is talked about here, with people in my RL. If I were to talk about it, then chances are they would not even remember or care by the time they get to a computer; it's the same if I say on INTPforum or on the Internet. Besides, only my INTJ friend has the intellectual capacity to deal with the heavier subjects; but his interests are quite narrow.

Also, there is the anonymity aspect. It's not that I'm afraid of being judged (I'm being judged all the time anyway), it's that my ideas will be judged based on my friend's subjective image of "me", instead of the ideas standing on their own. It happens on the forum as well, but there is much much less subjectivity baggage...

And i like privacy for privacy's sake. Sometimes, it's just pleasurable to have or do something of your own that nobody else knows about.