Responses Are Desired...

[Sapphire Harp]

Just another meta-forum question to throw out there... I was thinking about how everyone on the forum interacts and I think it would be interesting to make this information known.

The poll question pretty much says it all: 'When posting on this forum, what kind of responses do you most enjoy getting back?'

Unlike before, this poll is -anonymous-.

Even better; multiple choices are allowed.
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[echoplex]

Option I should have totally thought of: Flirting! You gotta admit it's nice, especially if it's totally inappropriate. I suppose that might count as "affinity" though. Now someone tell me I'm sexy!

Judging from the results thus far, the one sure thing is that people don't like to be ignored. No surprise there.

Cool thread btw.

 

[Ulysses]

Funny tangents and witticisms, questions or challenges & critiques. Other than that, any kind of response is fine with me as long as it isn't from a phony. I have a irrational hatred towards phony and/or shallow persons.

 

[Ermine]

^ I don't think that's irrational at all. Hatred's a strong word, but I don't blame you for disliking them.

 

[Auburn]

Affinity and confirmation

Often times I post threads with the sole intent of finding those who posts things that resonate with myself. However, this has become more difficult lately. As I've once again sporadically entered a stage of transformation, granted still possessing the same personality frame, I find myself relating less and less with those things posted~

Praise and compliments

If they can be justified by logic, and clearly not intended as flattery, this is very much appreciated. If it is possible for me to logically counteract someone's compliment, I usually will. (in my head of course)

Funny tangents and witticisms

Um... ^^;
I understand how much this might be appreciated by others, but for me, I actually prefer sober replies. When a thread which I know has been given much thought, be it my own or that of another, is taken off course by tangents and witty remarks, it's saddening to watch it's subtle degradation...

Questions

If I am seeking for an answer, a reply proposing more questions makes me feel retrogressive. I feel like I've just gotten further away from my goal. However, questions are good sometimes when intended to present another perspective to the topic at hand.

Challenges and critiques

Yes, this is good.

Expansions on your post

Also good ^^

Grammar, syntax, and language corrections

*sigh*...
I really really dislike these sort of replies. It shows complete disregard for my thoughts and ideas and insults me by pointing out flaws, not in my logic, but in the most petty things. Is not what matters the communication of thoughts, not the arrangement of letters?

Flaming and personal attacks



No responses at all

...

Some other option I should totally have thought of...

I most like to receive replies that make me feel like a little child. I know that may sound odd, but I enjoy being taught and given direction. Posts that counsel, and give insight with years of personal experience behind it are gold to me~





P.S. - I have the strange feeling that I will end up regretting this posts...

 

[Decaf]

Affinity and confirmation

I am half-lurker. I vicariously live through those posters that are more skillful in using their Ne without reservation. In person I can do it because I can't take things back, but I think I lose about 90% of my humor in writing. I love this forum because it reminds me that even though my humor is as dry as the Sahara, its alright. Some people, who are not my mom, also find it funny. (I can't believe I'm putting in print that I'm glad Melkor joined us )

Praise and compliments

Many posters here have been more than gracious to my ego and I'm grateful. Its boosted my confidence in a way that I feel a little naughty about, like it wasn't rightly earned (by overwhelming my own sense of the lack perfection in my theories). Unfortunately that sense also makes replying to praise difficult because I appreciate, but don't think I've earned, it most of the time.

Still, a net positive as its allowed me to think about what I can DO with what I know instead of endlessly seeking more data and being disillusioned every time I see someone who I perceive doing it better.

Challenges and critiques

This is my number 1 reason. I have faith that the members of this forum understand what I say and will call me on my oversights. With MBTI I've done a lot more reading that most of you, so it doesn't always work, but I'm always amazed at the insight of people like Auburn and the clarity of thought of A.I. (no, I'm not starting a Thank You hijack. There's plenty more, but those two come to mind because they've recently reminded me why I enjoy reading their posts)

I benefit greatly from other personality's points of view, but due to the way we talk about our theories as if they are facts, this place is so much safer for the early stages of theory development. I wish I could telepathically let people know that even though I just said something as if I'd written a thesis on it, it really just popped out of my understanding of the subject 20 seconds ago. Here, I don't need to communicate that.

Flaming and personal attacks

Needless to say, real attacks steal the vigor out of our fake attacks. You can't give someone a noogie in the middle of a bar brawl and not have it taken for something else. There's no room for sarcasm after first blood.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Challenges and Critiques -This is my number 1 reason. I have faith that the members of this forum understand what I say and will call me on my oversights. With MBTI I've done a lot more reading that most of you, so it doesn't always work, but I'm always amazed at the insight of people like Auburn and the clarity of thought of A.I.

It's a surprise to me - but this is just about the very same reason I came up with this thread and posted it... The other night, I was thinking it would be really nice if the random thoughts and ideas I've been coming up with and throwing around were contested more... I find I discover far more when someone is challenging some idea or construct I've posted, and the poll suggests a majority of other people do, too.

I was considering asking for stronger critiques for just myself, but then I decided polling would be better to see what everyone wanted... maybe we can work to be better at providing for each other now that a scatter of opinions are on the table?

Also, Decaf... I've also been thinking it might be nice to have the option to mark threads as different, more serious... Like have the title begin as "Formal Discussion on..." Something for the presentation, critique, and defense of theories and such... Essentially, some kind of notice on the thread that the topic is about seriously dissecting some idea... with a low allowance of off-topic comments and such... (This idea probably needs its own thread...)
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Many posters here have been more than gracious to my ego and I'm grateful. Its boosted my confidence in a way that I feel a little naughty about, like it wasn't rightly earned (by overwhelming my own sense of the lack perfection in my theories). Unfortunately that sense also makes replying to praise difficult because I appreciate, but don't think I've earned, it most of the time.

I'm not sure I've ever noticed an unwise reply from you, Decaf... and rarely ever do you seem uninformed...

There's something of a crazy paradox here, isn't there? The less secure you have felt about your conclusions - the more likely you've worked them to a superior state? The reverse also being true? Struggling to find the balance here just seems sisyphian...
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I most like to receive replies that make me feel like a little child. I know that may sound odd, but I enjoy being taught and given direction. Posts that counsel, and give insight with years of personal experience behind it are gold to me

I think I'm right there with you, Auburn, although maybe with a different perspective. I think these are the posts with the greatest chance of helping all of us go further in life.

Sometimes I think questions are P-driven, and answers are J-driven; could these particular posts be the greatest synthesis of the two?
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Option I should have totally thought of: Flirting! You gotta admit it's nice, especially if it's totally inappropriate. I suppose that might count as "affinity" though. Now someone tell me I'm sexy!

Judging from the results thus far, the one sure thing is that people don't like to be ignored. No surprise there.

How about luscious, Echoplex? Does being luscious work for you?

I never imagined people would enjoy being ignored - not here. Out in the rest of the world, perhaps - but no one wants to feel left out... I always figured this was the case, so I try to be thorough with quoting, referencing, and linking to other people's contributions.
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[echoplex]

How about luscious, Echoplex? Does being luscious work for you?

Even better! I also want to be tantalizing and exquisite, but those can wait. I wouldn't want to impose.

Posts that counsel, and give insight with years of personal experience behind it are gold to me~

Yes, definitely. These are always good to read even when the advice is directed at someone else with an entirely different problem. I think it's amazing how helpful posts can be here, even when it's not intentional. I've posted on forums where there were more trolls than insightful posts altogether.

 

[walfin]

As far as I can see, INTPs pretty much seem to want the same things.

Although I find the number of people who voted for compliments to be absurdly high.

 

[Waterstiller]

Wonderful thread idea.

I think I'm right there with you, Auburn, although maybe with a different perspective. I think these are the posts with the greatest chance of helping all of us go further in life.
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Yeah, I think I agree with Auburn as well. Those types of posts are what I come looking for. Guidance and other people's experience.. in a language I can understand and easily integrate into my own life.



I like it when people describe something that I never knew anyone else besides me did/thought. I feel so alien most of the time and this place makes me feel less so.

I come for honesty and a lack of the cryptic. I tend to ignore the silliness or people trying to be clever; I'm so burnt out on cleverness. I don't like compliments but I like giving them.

I come here for tenderness. I really appreciate it when people put carefully guarded pieces of themselves out there.

 

[saffyangelis]

Humm, I guess I might as well add to the lists of reasoning behind choices...

Affinity and confirmation :
Well, I guess I picked this because this is pretty much the one place I know about where you can say something that everyone you know in real life thinks is weird and actually have people who share it with you, which is still pretty much new to me. I like seeing just how similar we are, mainly I guess because it's more confirmation that I'm not an alien after all (Or, we're all aliens and I've found more of my kind =P).

Funny tangents and witticisms :
I do like this, but only when it's appropriate. In the more serious threads, then I would be annoyed to see this happen, although in other places (The arena springs to mind) It's interesting watching how the thread evolves from one thing to another.

Questions, Challenges and critiques and Expansions on your post :
I like these mainly because they help me to refine my thought process, to work out exactly what I mean again, and by doing it at different times (Which I often don't have time to do, or I forget or something) I can work out if I've said something wrong, or I might find a better word for what I wanted to say and so on. Plus, theres always the very likely chance that someone's found a way to say what I wanted to say in a much clearer way.

Grammar, syntax, and language corrections :
(Yep, it was me that picked that =P)
Mainly because I was thinking of my attempts in the language thread, and so I was thinking about how if people help each other with grammar and so on there, then it'd help us all to get better at it. (Of course, this now gives you all the excuse to point out every single mistake I've ever made =P)

Some other option I should totally have thought of... :
Well, I have to say I like it when this happens, as it's like a brand new way I can look at it, like getting a load of new information on how it all works, so I can change my opinion of it to fit, or at the least, it might help me to understand the person or the problem/question better. Plus, it's another shift that opens up a whole new area of the conversation, and I have to say, reading everyones posts on a topic is always interesting =P

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I most like challenges and debate (I didn't think critique was quite the right word...which is a critique huh?). I would very much prefer for someone who makes an assertion to be able to back it up or if they can't, to at least admit that it's a gut feeling or opinion and not state it as fact. Opinions can and should be debated, everyone learns something from it and thus everyone wins.

Affinity and confirmation along with expansion of post can be vey much the same thing. The more it expands the discussion, the better.

Questions are good depending on the question. If it is designed to learn or bring the questionee into more thoughtful information, it's got to be a good thing.

Praise and compliments are good for the ego but can be overdone. The appreciation threads were good for that but a simple "great post!" is a waste of time and bandwidth. Luckily we don't have that problem here.

Funny tangents and witticisms have their place. There's a lot of factors that ought be considered where that is concerned. The seriousness of the topic and responses should be considered as well as knowing when said seriousness has run it's course. Some posts pose a specific question that does not need replies by all, so once asked and answered why not play around with it?

Grammer corrections? Go away!

Flames? Some people might take something personally and lash out disproportionately. I have come to expect better from the people here and am rarely disappointed. Our attacks of each other are meant in jest and should be taken as such.

No responses makes me weep. Maybe not literally.....

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Although I find the number of people who voted for compliments to be absurdly high.

Personally, I think this option would be much higher on most other forums. I think many members here feel really awkward receiving compliments, so this is atypical... (like Auburn, Decaf, and Waterstiller were suggesting.)

Also, now that I think about it - I think there's a general feeling of non-ownership towards ideas here in this forum... Generally, people don't feel like a thought, idea, or concept they just put together belongs to them - they step back from owning it and don't want to demand recognition for coming up with it. The idea already existed out there, somewhere, and they were merely a channel for it. (And, besides... they're none too sure it's 100% right. )
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Some other option I should totally have thought of... :
Well, I have to say I like it when this happens, as it's like a brand new way I can look at it, like getting a load of new information on how it all works, so I can change my opinion of it to fit, or at the least, it might help me to understand the person or the problem/question better. Plus, it's another shift that opens up a whole new area of the conversation, and I have to say, reading everyones posts on a topic is always interesting =P

Dear Saffy! You complete out thought my box here... When I created this option, I was figuring... "well, there's certainly something else people would want that I can't think of, so... here's the option for 'something else'." Definitely a good reminder there's a multitude of ways to see things... Pretty ironic, too.
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The appreciation threads were good for that but a simple "great post!" is a waste of time and bandwidth. Luckily we don't have that problem here.

While I certainly agree that large numbers of appreciation posts tend to simply bog things down, I think there's something of a balance issue here... Simply put, I think everyone's efforts are being appreciated far more than is ever communicated back...

Sometimes I think we would benefit from having a points voting system or something to express appreciation for individual posts without requiring another post... but then popularity gets involved and competition, so I don't feel good about the idea any longer... No real solution comes to mind, honestly.

There have been a few times when I've really liked a post, but have had nothing more to say than 'great post', so I have sent a PM - but that's been pretty rare.
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[walfin]

Generally, people don't feel like a thought, idea, or concept they just put together belongs to them - they step back from owning it and don't want to demand recognition for coming up with it.

No patents on ideas! Hooray!

There have been a few times when I've really liked a post, but have had nothing more to say than 'great post', so I have sent a PM - but that's been pretty rare.

I think it's a rare occasion when an INTP has no opinion.

But the best compliment for an INTP, I believe, is discussion without vitriol.