Question about attraction...

[C.J_Finn]

Okay, there was a thread awhile back on here talking about the INTP+ENTJ attraction. It explains why INTPs and ENTJs work well in relationships, but I have a question to expand on that (and I thought that it could use another thread since this is kind of a different subject).

Okay, I've read several articles that talk about how people tend to be attracted to the personality traits of their parent of the opposite sex (I dunno how it works with homosexuals since I didn't see anything regarding them in the articles. I'm assuming that it would work the same way but with the parent of the same sex.) which makes sense (based on the stories of people's relationships in the articles and my own family members/friends) that this actually happens.

Okay, so now onto my actual question. Is this because INTPs tend to have ENTJ parents (I've never typed my parents) or is something else up?


I'm gonna go get some coffee ready and then I'll dig up the links to the articles that I mentioned if anyone is interested.

Edit:
http://www.indplsbpparents.org/how-your-parents-affect-how-you-love.htm

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-02-11/...marry.parents_1_share-mom-parent?_s=PM:LIVING

 

[thelithiumcat]

My parents are ISTJ and ESFJ (father and mother respectively). While I respect them for who they are (particularly the work ethic of the ISTJ and the social ability of the ESFJ because I am clueless) I don't think I could see myself falling for another one of either type. Interesting theory, though.

 

[SandMizzle]

I don't think that all of us (INTPs) have ENTJ parents. Mine aren't, so that's my conclusion, and if you think about a big family with many children, then they can have all different types.

But I would say that your articels are pretty true. When I think about my single parent mother - ultimative smart and intelligent, social way of thinking, confident, agreeable - that are all qualities I'm looking for in women. So I would say that this may be very true to a certain level. But I also think that it doesn't count for all traits. Because we all want to flee from our parents at a given age, we also tend to refuse many characteristics our parents show, mostly the reasons for struggles.

My argumantation would be and this sounds very logical, that we tend to seek the "good" traits we know from our parents in other people, especially in relationships.

 

[Czech Yes or No]

I don't think that all of us (INTPs) have ENTJ parents. Mine aren't, so that's my conclusion, and if you think about a big family with many children, then they can have all different types.

But I would say that your articels are pretty true. When I think about my single parent mother - ultimative smart and intelligent, social way of thinking, confident, agreeable - that are all qualities I'm looking for in women. So I would say that this may be very true to a certain level. But I also think that it doesn't count for all traits. Because we all want to flee from our parents at a given age, we also tend to refuse many characteristics our parents show, mostly the reasons for struggles.

My argumantation would be and this sounds very logical, that we tend to seek the "good" traits we know from our parents in other people, especially in relationships.

You are mine on the arcade.

Dun dum. Dun dum. Du du du du.

 

[C.J_Finn]

I don't think that all of us (INTPs) have ENTJ parents. Mine aren't, so that's my conclusion, and if you think about a big family with many children, then they can have all different types.

But I would say that your articels are pretty true. When I think about my single parent mother - ultimative smart and intelligent, social way of thinking, confident, agreeable - that are all qualities I'm looking for in women. So I would say that this may be very true to a certain level. But I also think that it doesn't count for all traits. Because we all want to flee from our parents at a given age, we also tend to refuse many characteristics our parents show, mostly the reasons for struggles.

My argumantation would be and this sounds very logical, that we tend to seek the "good" traits we know from our parents in other people, especially in relationships.

Well of course all won't, but I was just wondering if it's a common thing amongst the majority of us.

Yeah, my mom has a lot of good traits that I would look for in a woman too. I don't know about what you said about just seeking out the good qualities though. It seems like there's quite a few people that will be in abusive relationships if their upbringing was like that. I think a lot of it is just growing to be comfortable with the environment you spent a good portion of your life in. Probably for a similar reason to why long term prisoners (at least the ones that I've seen on various television shows. I've never spoken to one IRL) seem to have problems adjusting to life outside of the prison and tend to return.

 

[SandMizzle]

You are mine on the arcade.

Dun dum. Dun dum. Du du du du.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Well of course all won't, but I was just wondering if it's a common thing amongst the majority of us.

Yeah, my mom has a lot of good traits that I would look for in a woman too. I don't know about what you said about just seeking out the good qualities though. It seems like there's quite a few people that will be in abusive relationships if their upbringing was like that. I think a lot of it is just growing to be comfortable with the environment you spent a good portion of your life in. Probably for a similar reason to why long term prisoners (at least the ones that I've seen on various television shows. I've never spoken to one IRL) seem to have problems adjusting to life outside of the prison and tend to return.

Yeah, you are right. A heavy facepalm for myself.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

it's also been pointed out that that theory is bulshit

 

[SandMizzle]

it's also been pointed out that that theory is bulshit

Thank's for this exceedingly precise and comprehensive answer. I guess I speak for all of us when I say that we are much wiser now and every single question to this topic suddenly vanished.

 

[C.J_Finn]

it's also been pointed out that that theory is bulshit

Would you happen to have anything to back this up?

 

[MissQuote]

I've been reading a book called [Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce] and in the beginning it talks about "love mapping" which is something that is theorized happens between the ages of four and ten (I think it was, I may off, but It was during the time very early childhood was over but puberty and adolescence had not begun yet).

This idea says that we subconsciously start to make connections in our brains during this time between things that make us feel strongly, (though not always necessarily good strong things I would imagine, myself) and we build a chart, or map, in our brain that will predispose us in the future to be instantly attracted to another when enough of those triggers show themselves at once. Things from certain facial expressions, to ways of moving, certain types of clothing, certain words, gestures, moods, status symbols et cetera. It seems an attempt to explain why while one may know outright what they are generally attracted to in another person, but then there is that unexplainable intense attraction that occurs every now and then to another, that feeling of Love at First Sight, or that draw to another that causes you to fall in love and not be able to pin point when in the course of knowing someone that it happened.

I haven't cross referenced the information with any other sources or research on these subjects yet, nor have I investigated how credible the author of this book or whoever it was who came up with this ideas first is, but I think the idea sounds intriguing and possiblly solid on some levels.

Hey, looks like there is a brief wiki article on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovemap

 

[Fukyo]

it's also been pointed out that that theory is bulshit

I'd agree with this.

 

[scarlett.page]

I am an INTP female with an ENTJ father, and am currently interested in an ENTJ guy. My best friend is also an INTP, and neither of his parents are ENTJs. But it makes sense that INTPs would frequently have ENTJ parents (Strong sense NT developing out of necessity but the a quieter and more passive nature as a response to how overwhelming the ENTJ can be). Love mapping sounds interesting, though I don't understand the scientific evidence behind it.