Properly Ignoring Females

[JarNew]

Women seem to be attracted more to you when you don't show them too much attention.

Right now I'm perfecting how much I ignore them

I can get them to the stage where they're showing interest in me, and attracting attention to their feminine features (Eg. touching hair a lot while seemingly intentionally looking away)

So I get them to this stage then I start talking to them a bit and I either get them to the stage that when I'm paying no attention they may end up in a gazish daze staring at me

and them somewhere I fuck up around this stage.

What should I do then?eeeeee

I'm trying to perfect my swagger

 

[Melllvar]

Keep ignoring them.

You won't get laid but you'll save yourself a lot of time and trouble.

 

[Minuend]

If you want to know how to date normal people, you're on the wrong forum.

 

[Bird]

It depends on the woman.


This kind of behaviour simply
pisses some women off.

 

[Cavallier]

Birdie has it right. As for me though...mostly I find it relieving. If some guy who is interested in me decides to leave me the hell alone I'm deeply thankful I don't have to deal with him anymore. Yay! The crazy is leaving me alone!

 

[SpaceYeti]

That's not much information to go on, actually. In this scenario, are you merely flirting, or do you have some kind of relationship? If you're just flirting, then you need to pay attention to them. If you're in a relationship of some kind, you have to balance times of ignoring with times of paying attention. No matter how much you pay attention or ignore them, you have to remain consistent. Basically, we don't have enough information to help you. What is your goal? Where are you currently? How do you know this girl? Etc...

 

[EyeSeeCold]

If you want to know how to date normal people, you're on the wrong forum.

+1

 

[theory_of_everything]

You are sort of onto something. Its not so much about ignoring a girl, but not being too needy. Not letting them step over you. That's not a challenge, that's not sexy.

Part of what's going on their head when you ignore them is that their insecurities start popping up.

When you talk to girls, don't think about if they might reject you or if they like you. Think about the hundreds or thousands of girls you'll talk to in your bachelorhood, all of them standing behind her-- out of all those future girls, you're going to have some sort of a relationship with some of them. This should psyche out a few of your insecurities. She's just a pretty girl. They are common.

Its good to tell her that you don't think she's your type. KEEP IT PLAYFUL. This is equal to you ignoring her. She'd probably want to know what your type is. Or try to get her to talk about her good qualities.

Now she's revealed something about herself, and if any of those inner qualities are things you appreciate in a person, tell her that honestly. And you can also mention that you think she's cute too.

See, girls don't like it when you JUST like them for their looks and you sort of follow them around the room and are too shy and you're stalker like. When you're too nice, agreeing with everything they say, letting them decide, you're not sexy.

Anyway, its not so much about ignoring them. Its not about them liking you. It is more about getting them, to want you, to like them.

Ignoring her, or giving her a limited amount of your time works well after you get her number or after the first date. She will start trying to get your attention. And give her a little. then a little more. Make her earn you-- and this may take some time for you to realize this but-- YOU are the prize.

You'll have to practice this a bit.

Hell, I'm still perfecting mine.

 

[snafupants]

It depends on the woman.


This kind of behaviour simply
pisses some women off.

The majority of people on this planet are not a homeogeneous group?

 

[Melkor]

I suggest you take an infinitely long holiday studying the architectural validity of high and suitably unsafe cultural relics without the proper safety equipment.

 

[DarkGreen]

I suggest you take an infinitely long holiday studying the architectural validity of high and suitably unsafe cultural relics without the proper safety equipment.

He's right. It worked for Indiana Jones.

 

[JarNew]

Keep ignoring them.

You won't get laid but you'll save yourself a lot of time and trouble.

I've put too much effort into this already.

Go big or go home. -Johnny Tsunami

If you want to know how to date normal people, you're on the wrong forum.

Supposedly INTPs are intelligent, and may have uncommon knowledge about general topics such as biology. I'm looking for any information I can get.

Why do you unconsciously classify yourself?

It depends on the woman.


This kind of behaviour simply
pisses some women off.

Since you're a woman and I'm after a woman your argument is invalid. I appreciate your input though. General advice is good advice from the woman's creative energy.

Birdie has it right. As for me though...mostly I find it relieving. If some guy who is interested in me decides to leave me the hell alone I'm deeply thankful I don't have to deal with him anymore. Yay! The crazy is leaving me alone!

Women are generally unstable when they are lame

That's not much information to go on, actually. In this scenario, are you merely flirting, or do you have some kind of relationship? If you're just flirting, then you need to pay attention to them. If you're in a relationship of some kind, you have to balance times of ignoring with times of paying attention. No matter how much you pay attention or ignore them, you have to remain consistent. Basically, we don't have enough information to help you. What is your goal? Where are you currently? How do you know this girl? Etc...

Thank you for your imput. Valid questions I'll ask my self

+1

+7

You are sort of onto something. Its not so much about ignoring a girl, but not being too needy. Not letting them step over you. That's not a challenge, that's not sexy.

Part of what's going on their head when you ignore them is that their insecurities start popping up.

When you talk to girls, don't think about if they might reject you or if they like you. Think about the hundreds or thousands of girls you'll talk to in your bachelorhood, all of them standing behind her-- out of all those future girls, you're going to have some sort of a relationship with some of them. This should psyche out a few of your insecurities. She's just a pretty girl. They are common.

Its good to tell her that you don't think she's your type. KEEP IT PLAYFUL. This is equal to you ignoring her. She'd probably want to know what your type is. Or try to get her to talk about her good qualities.

Now she's revealed something about herself, and if any of those inner qualities are things you appreciate in a person, tell her that honestly. And you can also mention that you think she's cute too.

See, girls don't like it when you JUST like them for their looks and you sort of follow them around the room and are too shy and you're stalker like. When you're too nice, agreeing with everything they say, letting them decide, you're not sexy.

Anyway, its not so much about ignoring them. Its not about them liking you. It is more about getting them, to want you, to like them.

Ignoring her, or giving her a limited amount of your time works well after you get her number or after the first date. She will start trying to get your attention. And give her a little. then a little more. Make her earn you-- and this may take some time for you to realize this but-- YOU are the prize.

You'll have to practice this a bit.

Hell, I'm still perfecting mine.

Great, thank you. I'm taking a more evolutionary approach. Acting on their senses and learning to read their microexpressions and seeing into the shadows of their iris, into the light of their soul and understanding them causing deep emotional attraction which is grounding in the physical realm of my state of existance.

Having my own system/philosophy alone gives me confidence which steps up my game.

The majority of people on this planet are not a homeogeneous group?

I got nothing from this post as I've chosen not to look up what homogenous means.

I suggest you take an infinitely long holiday studying the architectural validity of high and suitably unsafe cultural relics without the proper safety equipment.

Cool words

He's right. It worked for Indiana Jones.

Dunno what you're saying but the panda bear is one of my spirit representations. In fact I'm a panda bear, and the woman I love is a deer. 8

 

[warryer]

Dunno what you're saying but.....

You know who Indiana Jones is... that guy who digs around in the dirt searching for relics, escapes from nazis and always gets the girl?

---
anyways, your OP sounds an awful lot like PUA. I looked into that stuff and realized it's a bunch of crap. You don't fake yourself to get a person to like you. Seriously, look at their forums and see how hollow some of those people come across. Not to mention that it's a money making scheme.

It was however a good learning experience for me to understand how social interactions take place. There's a lot of unspoken meanings/messages the average person will miss. This will be your guide.

Lying is one of the worst things you can do, you are basically saying: "I am not confident in / don't like who I am so, I created this alternative persona because I think you will like it better than me." (If you're not good enough for you, why are you good enough for her?) The important thing is to be able to deconstruct communications like I did here.

The real "trick" is having a person like you for you.

 

[Minuend]

Supposedly INTPs are intelligent, and may have uncommon knowledge about general topics such as biology. I'm looking for any information I can get.

Why do you unconsciously classify yourself?

Don't give me that.

1. Intp forum, you

2. All humans classify everyone. Even if we had no words for it, we would create inner abstract images and put various people into those boxes. It's how the human mind avoid having to evaluate every single object every time it encounters one. Example: If I see one street light, see what it's made of, how it shines; I will apply these characteristics to every street lights down the block. Imagine if I had to investigate all of them as thoroughly. Now, something similar happens with people. For instance, I could put you in the box called PUA and your worth might decrease to about a broken vase and two shiny rocks.

Edit:

3. My original point was that if you want to hunt for dogs, find the dog catchers, not the butterfly collecting freaks living on the hills.

 

[JarNew]

of course humans classify that that's instinct. not all humans regulate though


your original point makes no sense to me

 

[soraya]

Hey I've got about an idea! How about you women like they are human beings instead of things you can manipulate! Isn't that shocking? I mean I just thought of that. I must really be a genius. If you start out relationships by being dishonest, not straightforward, and manipulative it's going to end the same way. And, honestly, you'd deserve it.

A good relationship is not all about you. It's about something that two people build together. So you really ought to be thinking about her and what she needs and wants too. It might also be important here to note that women are actually autonomous thinking individuals who have thoughts, feelings, and lives just as real as your own. And, women are not a homogeneous group. Saying that behavior X works on 'women' is just about as legitimate as saying that everyone in the world is exactly the same height. If you actually want to have any woman as a significant other in your life I would suggest that you get to know her as a person and shape your behavior according to that in a way that is beneficial for both of you.

Furthermore, any guy who has to play games with a woman like ignoring her is, frankly, absolutely pathetic. If he had any self-esteem, self-respect, confidence, balls, or a dick big enough to see without an electron microscope, then he trusts in himself enough to know that he doesn't need to screw with someone's mind in order to make something that he wants happen. He can get it in a straightforward and honest manner. Any woman worth her salt will see straight through any games that some guy is playing with her and she'll be disgusted by it. Any woman who can't isn't worth having and you'll deserve the pain she'll cause you because of it.

If you still don't understand my point I would suggest you undertake an empirical analysis. Do you have a sister? What about a really good female friend? Is there a girl you really like? Watch while some guy ignores her and manipulates her to get her to act how he wants. Watch how it affects her, see how it makes her feel about herself when he isn't around, and then tell me what you think.

I also second Melkor's comment.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Hey I've got about an idea! How about you [treat] women like they are human beings instead of things you can manipulate!

Human beings can be manipulated.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

That's not much information to go on, actually. In this scenario, are you merely flirting, or do you have some kind of relationship? If you're just flirting, then you need to pay attention to them. If you're in a relationship of some kind, you have to balance times of ignoring with times of paying attention. No matter how much you pay attention or ignore them, you have to remain consistent. Basically, we don't have enough information to help you. What is your goal? Where are you currently? How do you know this girl? Etc...

This has always worked in the reverse order for me. My strategies would depend on the girl but usually ended up being similar..could be because the girls I usually picked were more similar than not..that's what I think it was anyway..
Anyway, I've noticed a pattern between the less and more intuitive ones; the lesser "N"s as I'll put it, would be more easily caught with the simple game of "hurting their pride", with rules along the lines of ignoring their presence (the more attractive they were to everyone else, the less attention I'd pay) while maintaining your own (not equated with loud talking). Would just try to keep a more confident posture, smile every now and then, talk less even. Helps a lot if found making someone else laugh...seems a sort of mysterious/interesting balance I think, and draws them in at least to find out if you are or aren't a crazy person. I would reveal some level of general intelligence at this point; this has worked favorably, obviously, and it is helpful even to give them a small glimpse of true intellect (small, small, small in this case. no rambling ) in the form of applying hard logic to common sense, everyday sort of topics you may end up discussing in conversing. A this point in the past, I've found myself either ending up deep conversation or being asked out later and then in deep conversation and then I use some sort of weird charm I don't know where the hell I got. At this point they're usually very interested in me and we're drinking and talking and whatnot and then....honestly, I hope I get lucky. The "touching" transition stuff I just can't master, and honestly don't want to because A)It's fucking weird trying to rub up on some strange person that may or may not have syphilis and B) I'm in a relationship now with a girl I'm completely happy with in every way and have no need for this stupid shit anymore. Oh yeah sorry, I never mentioned the fact that I have always found this entire thing to be a somewhat necessary joke, for those of us more hormonally-inclined and wantin' to bone stuff.
-->So about those lesser "N"s, that's about it. The stuff I did worked for me about 70% of the time, so take or leave it, but add your own personality and flavor into the mix.

The more "N" ones? I would pay much more direct attention to them from the start. Found it far easier to engage them on terms of interesting conversation and I would normally just let my playfulness, silliness feed energy into it. Would feel free to "let loose" here, because in most cases they would be attracted to an intuitive thinking type. Just try to back and forth with them whenever possible, without ever hitting on them. They've almost always come on to me this way (Dude, chicks have totally come on to me before in the past).
-->I'd say the stuff I did with these greater "N"s worked about 85% of the time.




- The Foolery Toolery - "Where the shit you learn and do doesn't really make sense, but sometimes works and you just go with it."

 

[soraya]

Human beings can be manipulated.

Wow, thanks for enlightening us. I'm sure we all had no idea.

The point, of course, was that it's wrong to do so.

 

[Melllvar]

Furthermore, any guy who has to play games with a woman like ignoring her is, frankly, absolutely pathetic. If he had any self-esteem, self-respect, confidence, balls, or a dick big enough to see without an electron microscope, then he trusts in himself enough to know that he doesn't need to screw with someone's mind in order to make something that he wants happen. He can get it in a straightforward and honest manner. Any woman worth her salt will see straight through any games that some guy is playing with her and she'll be disgusted by it. Any woman who can't isn't worth having and you'll deserve the pain she'll cause you because of it.

If you still don't understand my point I would suggest you undertake an empirical analysis. Do you have a sister? What about a really good female friend? Is there a girl you really like? Watch while some guy ignores her and manipulates her to get her to act how he wants. Watch how it affects her, see how it makes her feel about herself when he isn't around, and then tell me what you think.

Yes yes, be nice to girls and treat them with respect, we can see how well that always works out for people who try it. Meanwhile the abusive asshole "bad boys" who treat women like shit are always poorly received.

Regarding the opening post (and in all seriousness now), my guess would be that the strategy works because it gives the impression you're too good for them and you know it (you don't really give a fuck about them, you're too cool), which appeals to them and makes them work harder to get your attention. Not really sure where you'd take it from there though. I still recommend the "GTFO" solution. Seriously, nothing they have to offer is worth the time, money and stress involved.

 

[Bird]

You know, what isn't often realized is
that just by existing you are manipulating
the world around you. Whether it is
right or wrong depends very greatly.
There is neutral ground.

 

[JarNew]

Hey I've got about an idea! How about you women like they are human beings instead of things you can manipulate! Isn't that shocking? I mean I just thought of that. I must really be a genius. If you start out relationships by being dishonest, not straightforward, and manipulative it's going to end the same way. And, honestly, you'd deserve it.

A good relationship is not all about you. It's about something that two people build together. So you really ought to be thinking about her and what she needs and wants too. It might also be important here to note that women are actually autonomous thinking individuals who have thoughts, feelings, and lives just as real as your own. And, women are not a homogeneous group. Saying that behavior X works on 'women' is just about as legitimate as saying that everyone in the world is exactly the same height. If you actually want to have any woman as a significant other in your life I would suggest that you get to know her as a person and shape your behavior according to that in a way that is beneficial for both of you.

Furthermore, any guy who has to play games with a woman like ignoring her is, frankly, absolutely pathetic. If he had any self-esteem, self-respect, confidence, balls, or a dick big enough to see without an electron microscope, then he trusts in himself enough to know that he doesn't need to screw with someone's mind in order to make something that he wants happen. He can get it in a straightforward and honest manner. Any woman worth her salt will see straight through any games that some guy is playing with her and she'll be disgusted by it. Any woman who can't isn't worth having and you'll deserve the pain she'll cause you because of it.

If you still don't understand my point I would suggest you undertake an empirical analysis. Do you have a sister? What about a really good female friend? Is there a girl you really like? Watch while some guy ignores her and manipulates her to get her to act how he wants. Watch how it affects her, see how it makes her feel about herself when he isn't around, and then tell me what you think.

I also second Melkor's comment.

Numero uno, I'm not manipulating her. I don't manipulate people, I influence people.

I'm using evolutionary laws of attraction to my advantage and the end result can only be stronger attraction which will lead to more emotionally charged sex and a deeper relationship if that's what is chosen.

Men and women are not the same even if we are human beings. Two seperate yet equal energies constantly in flux like yin and yang

This has always worked in the reverse order for me. My strategies would depend on the girl but usually ended up being similar..could be because the girls I usually picked were more similar than not..that's what I think it was anyway..
Anyway, I've noticed a pattern between the less and more intuitive ones; the lesser "N"s as I'll put it, would be more easily caught with the simple game of "hurting their pride", with rules along the lines of ignoring their presence (the more attractive they were to everyone else, the less attention I'd pay) while maintaining your own (not equated with loud talking). Would just try to keep a more confident posture, smile every now and then, talk less even. Helps a lot if found making someone else laugh...seems a sort of mysterious/interesting balance I think, and draws them in at least to find out if you are or aren't a crazy person. I would reveal some level of general intelligence at this point; this has worked favorably, obviously, and it is helpful even to give them a small glimpse of true intellect (small, small, small in this case. no rambling ) in the form of applying hard logic to common sense, everyday sort of topics you may end up discussing in conversing. A this point in the past, I've found myself either ending up deep conversation or being asked out later and then in deep conversation and then I use some sort of weird charm I don't know where the hell I got. At this point they're usually very interested in me and we're drinking and talking and whatnot and then....honestly, I hope I get lucky. The "touching" transition stuff I just can't master, and honestly don't want to because A)It's fucking weird trying to rub up on some strange person that may or may not have syphilis and B) I'm in a relationship now with a girl I'm completely happy with in every way and have no need for this stupid shit anymore. Oh yeah sorry, I never mentioned the fact that I have always found this entire thing to be a somewhat necessary joke, for those of us more hormonally-inclined and wantin' to bone stuff.
-->So about those lesser "N"s, that's about it. The stuff I did worked for me about 70% of the time, so take or leave it, but add your own personality and flavor into the mix.

The more "N" ones? I would pay much more direct attention to them from the start. Found it far easier to engage them on terms of interesting conversation and I would normally just let my playfulness, silliness feed energy into it. Would feel free to "let loose" here, because in most cases they would be attracted to an intuitive thinking type. Just try to back and forth with them whenever possible, without ever hitting on them. They've almost always come on to me this way (Dude, chicks have totally come on to me before in the past).
-->I'd say the stuff I did with these greater "N"s worked about 85% of the time.




- The Foolery Toolery - "Where the shit you learn and do doesn't really make sense, but sometimes works and you just go with it."

Thanks. Your post gave me more motivation to read up on theory. I appreciate your reply, personal is good

Yes yes, be nice to girls and treat them with respect, we can see how well that always works out for people who try it. Meanwhile the abusive asshole "bad boys" who treat women like shit are always poorly received.

Regarding the opening post (and in all seriousness now), my guess would be that the strategy works because it gives the impression you're too good for them and you know it (you don't really give a fuck about them, you're too cool), which appeals to them and makes them work harder to get your attention. Not really sure where you'd take it from there though. I still recommend the "GTFO" solution. Seriously, nothing they have to offer is worth the time, money and stress involved.

I'm not really ignoring her like totally ignoring her. I'm just not drowning her in my attention. Girls like to chase a bit also, they want to feel wanted

You know, what isn't often realized is
that just by existing you are manipulating
the world around you. Whether it is
right or wrong depends very greatly.
There is neutral ground.

YouTube - Bashar - Shiftee

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2oOcs.../the_amazing_promises_of_the_zero_point_field

 

[Jennywocky]

Human beings can be manipulated.

"Bua ha ha!" she laughs in response, darkly.

Women seem to be attracted more to you when you don't show them too much attention. Right now I'm perfecting how much I ignore them.

Yes, keep doing that. Anything to ensure your genes will not proliferate.

(I don't know about most women; but if you ignore me, I read that as "not interested," and I won't show you any additional interest, if any interest at all.)

Numero uno, I'm not manipulating her. I don't manipulate people, I influence people.

Ever hear of just being yourself, and just letting her respond to that?

I hope you're prepared to keep your game up 24/7, because if you reel someone in on false pretenses/interaction styles and then you change, the relationship will crash. She will perceive it as a lie.

I'm using evolutionary laws of attraction to my advantage and the end result can only be stronger attraction which will lead to more emotionally charged sex and a deeper relationship if that's what is chosen.

How can you expect to have a deeper relationship when you're starting the relationship by adding an extra level of cerebral complexity to it, thus already distancing yourself from interacting organically? Get what I'm saying? You shouldn't be running your relational software through yet another level of business processing, so to speak, if you want something intuitive and instinctive and direct.

Men and women are not the same even if we are human beings. Two seperate yet equal energies constantly in flux like yin and yang

Whatever. I believe in the yin/yang energies, but you should really just be yourself and stop trying to play women. You sound insecure when you do that, and it's unattractive, because you don't have enough faith in just being yourself.

(And I have to tell you, if there is ONE thing about a man that I find sexy and interesting, it is a man who is comfortable with who he is and has quiet confidence in his own capacity and capability and doesn't have to use overt strategies.)

 

[JarNew]

I'm not really using strategies, I'm not planning anything out. I'm altering my behavior, that's it.

I'm still myself, still witty, still shrude, still playful.

Thanks for your reply, woman

 

[Jennywocky]

I'm not really using strategies, I'm not planning anything out. I'm altering my behavior, that's it.

Yeah. And I'm not insulting you, I'm just being honest and witty, you incorrigible half-blinded neanderthal.

 

[Meer]

Yikes.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Wow, thanks for enlightening us. I'm sure we all had no idea.

The point, of course, was that it's wrong to do so.

Why?

 

[cheese]

I think the thing about treating women with respect/seeing her as a person/being yourself, blah blah, is useful from a certain perspective, but you really have to get into that mindset for it to work. Lots of guys do the 'nice guy' thing to women, and may be genuinely interested in getting to know the woman, but it's always from the perspective of a Guy doing something nice for a Woman, and being a 'gentleman' and so on - creating distance between the genders, gendering interaction, whatever. This means the guy is either constantly evaluated, or soon friendzoned because the interest is too palpable and the nice-guy factor *can* lower perceived confidence/security/masculinity.

To use the see-her-as-a-person tactic effectively, you have to see her as a non-gendered person, ie not a woman - with interests, and history, and personality, and dreams and so on - but, well, as a dude. To an extent, anyway. That will get you the lack-of-interest vibe you want, without actually being a douche or signalling too much apparent lack of interest. You're not ignoring-a-woman to make her work for anything. You're treating her as you would any other guy you wouldn't mind hanging out with. Yeah, you might happen to want to sleep with her, but put that aside and try not to see her as a Woman, but as just another guy (not just another woman, that's more likely to backfire) - and at best, just another human.

Close the gender gap, don't make it about male vs female. This isn't about you advertising your superiority and that you're out of her league, or even that you're too secure to 'need' a woman. This is about stepping out of the mindset of gendered games completely. This takes away neediness, which is one of the primary goals of cold-fishing her, but without the potential nastiness that will signal women to back away. It means you can approach her without being threatening, you get to know her without being nice-guy-weak-needy OR arrogant-uninterested. Most people want that gender dynamic in relations, but you don't want to push it into that arena in an intentional way, you want her to be able to express her femininity but without you being interested in it - but also not appearing to despise or reject it as not good enough. You get to relate on a more authentic level, but the potential for attraction is still there.

Of course, it's really difficult to do and it might backfire on you by making too big a perceptual shift, but that's unlikely if she's attractive enough (on whatever plane). And anyway, worrying about that means you haven't stepped out and closed up yet.

Should also add that, like anything, it doesn't work on everyone.

 

[Fukyo]

This thread:

 

[Bird]

What the fuck makes you think
I'm a female? You could be very
wrong.

 

[Cavallier]

Silly me, I forgot the rules of The Game.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I'll second cheese after I'm done snickering at the rest of this thread.

 

[Melllvar]

These kinds of threads remind me of when I was playing Kingdoms of Camelot (really shitty game I know, but whatever), and everyone in my alliance would keep getting into these same kinds of discussions about how shitty the other gender was, except it was always the women bitching about the men, never men bitching about women. They'd go on and on with all this, "Men are so worthless, lazy and pathetic," "All they do is knock you up then skip town," "Blah blah fuck men there's no good men." It would even get kind of awkward sometimes when we'd start trying to crack jokes to calm them down, but they'd just keep going on and on about their ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends, baby's daddies, etc.

I don't know why everyone has to get all in a huff about this kind of stuff. For one thing, if you aren't fortunate enough to suffer from being so attractive to the gender you desire that you can afford to be annoyed by their unwanted advances, then complicated over-analysis, plotting and strategizing is pretty much your only hope. For another, this forum seems to have recurring themes of misanthropy involving the generally ignorant, pointless, pathetic nature of mankind, so I don't see why anyone should get so offended (or even be surprised) that the aforementioned analysis resulting from the human drive to copulate leads to cynicism and generalizations about the opposite sex.

 

[SpaceYeti]

What the fuck makes you think
I'm a female? You could be very
wrong.

You act like a chick. A cool chick, but a chick.

 

[DarkGreen]

 

[AlisaD]

Women seem to be attracted more to you when you don't show them too much attention.

Right now I'm perfecting how much I ignore them

I can get them to the stage where they're showing interest in me, and attracting attention to their feminine features (Eg. touching hair a lot while seemingly intentionally looking away)

So I get them to this stage then I start talking to them a bit and I either get them to the stage that when I'm paying no attention they may end up in a gazish daze staring at me

and them somewhere I fuck up around this stage.

No sweety, you fucked up right at the start, it just crumbles down at that stage.
Poor boy

 

[soraya]

Spaceyeti: The fact that you have to ask that means you aren't worth replying to.

Cheese: Yeah, this is pretty much dead on. Male, female, whatever. Those things are important in ways, but, at the bottom of it, we're all people.

It's really cliche but, treat people the way you would like to be treated. I actually used to be a real bitch to guys. I did the ignoring bullcrap A LOT and was really manipulative. I was really good at it. Then, my little brother got into a relationship with a girl who basically did all that same stuff to him. Sadly enough, it wasn't until I saw that happening to someone I cared a lot about that I actually realized how harmful that kind of behavior is, not just to the person being treated that way, but to everyone connected to them. The way she treated him didn't just hurt him, it also hurt me, my parents, his friends, and his job. Nobody exists in isolation and events and behaviors are not random and atomic, they have consequences. So, when you hurt and manipulate one person it has collateral damage on their friends, family, and coworkers to. Think about consequences before you do stuff.

Jar New: Por supuesto querido, you are manipulating. Influence can easily be a form of manipulation.

y la segunda, when you can bring me a solid non-biased scientific study that what you are doing is utilizing evolutionary laws of attraction and when you know more about evolutionary biology than me, then I'll believe that load of bull you just dropped.

Finalmente, NO. This is so wrong. The end result is not a deep relationship or good sex. You might get strong attraction but that does not equate with love. If you are using manipulation and creating a fake persona to get somebody instead of being genuine they will never be able to trust you. You CANNOT have truly good sex without trust. It certainly will not lead to a deep or good relationship. It will lead to a very superficial one. Don't try to get with people. You don't get relationships you freaking create them.

 

[Minuend]

No sweety, you fucked up right at the start, it just crumbles down at that stage.
Poor boy

I wish I could have one mini- Alisa on one shoulder and one mini- Cava on the other. The mini-Alisa would tell people very granny-condescendingly why they are morons, while mini-Cava would just tear everyone inside-out, just like those freaky tiny dinosaur that looks cute but really are just mean =(

 

[Lostwitheal]

I wish I could have one mini- Alisa on one shoulder and one mini- Cava on the other. The mini-Alisa would tell people very granny-condescendingly why they are morons, while mini-Cava would just tear everyone inside-out, just like those freaky tiny dinosaur that looks cute but really are just mean =(

To be fair normal sized Alisa would probably fit on your shoulder without too much of a problem. She's quite space-efficient.

Can't comment on Cava, however

 

[AlisaD]

To be fair normal sized Alisa would probably fit on your shoulder without too much of a problem. She's quite space-efficient.

The fact that I mostly exist in your head does not mean that I'm tiny, it just means that you have a very large head.

Also, if you ever call me a midget in front of these nice people here, I will end you

 

[Lostwitheal]

So, to put it in your native tongue, you will "me svrši"? "Svršiti mene"?

Oh, I don't know, your language is so confusing

Whyever would I call you a midget though. I'm sure I'd never do that.

 

[AlisaD]

So, to put it in your native tongue, you will "me svrši"? "Svršiti mene"?

Oh, I don't know, your language is so confusing

Whyever would I call you a midget though. I'm sure I'd never do that.

Well actually, I think the truth is closer to "Svršiću sa tobom, uskoro, nadam se" but you're right, it is a confusing language.

As for never calling me a midget - I see my friend Alzheimer has been visiting you recently too.

 

[Lostwitheal]

Well actually, I think the truth is closer to "Svršiću sa tobom, uskoro, nadam se" but you're right, it is a confusing language.

As for never calling me a midget - I see my friend Alzheimer has been visiting you recently too.

Promises, promises. Just make sure the alzheimers or black holes don't swallow this one

Are you suggesting I called you a midget at some point?

 

[AlisaD]

Don't worry, the black holes will not like that one, for sure.

Sorry Jar, you can have your thread back now.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Spaceyeti: The fact that you have to ask that means you aren't worth replying to.

Or perhaps you just don't know the answer.

 

[Agapooka]

Spoiler

It's really cliche but, treat people the way you would like to be treated. I actually used to be a real bitch to guys. I did the ignoring bullcrap A LOT and was really manipulative. I was really good at it. Then, my little brother got into a relationship with a girl who basically did all that same stuff to him. Sadly enough, it wasn't until I saw that happening to someone I cared a lot about that I actually realized how harmful that kind of behavior is, not just to the person being treated that way, but to everyone connected to them. The way she treated him didn't just hurt him, it also hurt me, my parents, his friends, and his job. Nobody exists in isolation and events and behaviors are not random and atomic, they have consequences. So, when you hurt and manipulate one person it has collateral damage on their friends, family, and coworkers to. Think about consequences before you do stuff.

Jar New: Por supuesto querido, you are manipulating. Influence can easily be a form of manipulation.

y la segunda, when you can bring me a solid non-biased scientific study that what you are doing is utilizing evolutionary laws of attraction and when you know more about evolutionary biology than me, then I'll believe that load of bull you just dropped.

Finalmente, NO. This is so wrong. The end result is not a deep relationship or good sex. You might get strong attraction but that does not equate with love. If you are using manipulation and creating a fake persona to get somebody instead of being genuine they will never be able to trust you. You CANNOT have truly good sex without trust. It certainly will not lead to a deep or good relationship. It will lead to a very superficial one. Don't try to get with people. You don't get relationships you freaking create them.

Whilst I essentially agree with the point you are attempting to make, there is something that I would like to point out. Maybe more than one thing:

The "ignoring concept", albeit hugely over-generalised, has some basis in reality. Essentially, when a woman is flooded with attention, the automatic reaction is to flee. This concept doesn't only apply to women, but women generally receive more attention, due to gender roles in our society, among other things.

Essentially, the concept at work is: "Humans want what they cannot have immediately." Usually this is enough to spark someone's interest. I do not find this particularly deceptive or manipulative, because it is only once interest has been sparked that one will even want to know more. Too often, women reject automatically, because the attention is imposed on them more often than otherwise.

I believe that once one hasn't been rejected automatically, it is time to show who you are, but as with any social encounter, showing too much of oneself at a time can frighten people, especially if you have a rich and complex inner world, as is oft the case with an INTP. To some extent, I don't see the application of these techniques as manipulative, if done in the manner I've described them. Essentially, it is a way for socially awkward INTPs to not scare someone off before they've had time to show who they really are. That said, I recognise that they can be used to manipulate.

As has been pointed out, to a frustrated guy's perspective, it does seem that women fall for "jerks". Attempts to study this phenomenon have uncovered that one quality is fairly consistent throughout the pattern: self-confidence. And if there's one thing self-confident people don't come across as, it's desperate.

Being desperate broadcasts the message "You can step all over me!" and I would encourage men, as well as anyone else, to be themselves and to be so confidently. Being unconfident would stop one from expressing who they are. But then again, so would faking it.

Essentially, whilst I see your point about manipulation, I insist that understanding humans so as not to scare them off with "hello" is a necessary improvement for any human who needs it and I wouldn't classify it as manipulative.

That said, though, my current girlfriend approached *me*. I know that if the first thing she told me had been "OMG I WANT U", I would not have taken her interest seriously, nor would I if I felt she were doing things for me and stalking me before I got to know her. This has happened to me once and it's a major turn-off. Staying mysterious at the beginning is good, because it allows questions to form, instead of hasty conclusions. It's also attractive. That said, excessive mystery is not a solid foundation, because the person has not revealed themselves or their intentions at all...


Agapooka

 

[GYX_Kid]

well fuck, if you get them to that stage, mention to one that you're going on some crazy adventure and imply that they'd be lucky to get to go on it

basically yeah, you fuck with them by giving a fuck while not giving a fuck. it drives them crazy

^ sounds like a dick, but isn't if you aren't a dick and do it in a good way. if there's a guy who's just a plain fucking dick, and then another guy who does something else like shows obvious interest and fails at it, use them as good examples of what not to be.


PUA/whatever advice on an INTP forum is...
well the thing is, a field of this sort has a lot more to do with experience than theory. which is why that ^ advice that might only communicate "fuck, crazy dick fuck" may just be as relevant as anything else.

i sorta recommend a man named jon sinn, who knows how to give advice in a practical down-to-earth way without getting too theoretical or too bullshit macho etc.

 

[Reluctantly]

You have to insert the penis into the vagina. You can't skip this step; it's necessary.

 

[cheese]

^What a dick. (What a cunt. What a dick-in-cunt. What a fuck. What a labia. What a testicle. What a vaginal contraction. What a prostate. What an ejaculation! What a mess. What a collapse. What a deflation. What a relaxation. What a silence.)

You're such a sleep, Reluctantly.

 

[Melllvar]

well fuck, if you get them to that stage, mention to one that you're going on some crazy adventure and imply that they'd be lucky to get to go on it

basically yeah, you fuck with them by giving a fuck while not giving a fuck. it drives them crazy

Don't forget to make a big deal about and criticize her for every little thing (be sure to blow up a lot over the tiniest, most inconsequential things), make her constantly feel worthless and not good enough, then when she's finally about to break turn around and tell her how special she is and how much she means to you and how much you love her. Be sure to get one who's young and naive for best results, because by the time she's in her late 20's or 30's she'll probably start to figure out what the game is.

Now that's being a dick.