Jeeez. Games? That's not a game, that's just crazy-insane. I would never go near a guy like that again. I'm glad you got out safely, even if the experience has lingered.
Well, it was crazy indeed, but what is crazy to us "normal" people can be a very sisnister and entertaining game to some. He was playing me quite cleverly. Roping me in with his air of charm and mystery, taking me out on dates, ever-so-courteous, playing psychological games with me to try to get under my skin.....it was all very deliberate on his part. It puzzled me, but I went along with it, as you do when you're fifteen and blindly infatuated. He liked to control people, and I think he saw me as someone he could easily control. He bragged to me that he could snap his fingers, and his mum would make him pizza. I thought he was joking, but later saw him in action......
I hate that part of the Church, where people feel they have to live lies in order to look right and avoid conflict. The faith was never supposed to be that way, and it's terrible that the predators cloak themselves in it as to avoid detection. There should be a way to expose him, although it would probably cost the woman her marriage. It's funny what people sell out for, even when the cost is so high.
That's the thing, she wouldn't want that. She is the kind of person who would sacrifice herself to keep up the facade, for the sake of dignity, family, God (bleh) and her children. I've heard it all before, it is sickening. Also, I think she's genuinely in love with him, as disturbing as it sounds. She came from a background of abuse already, so she would not know what it would be like to be treated with respect. The devil you know, etc.
Polaris: His charm? I guess I must have misunderstood from reading your earlier post. People that ask a girls friend rather than the girl they want to go out with for a date seem to indicate a lack of confidence, something that, in my experience, isn't lacking in charismatic individuals. Also the fact that you where on a couple of dates and he hadn't touched you at all also indicates, to me, a lack of social skills, at least with regards to woman.
If he is though, as you say, charismatic, something psychopaths tend to be, I guess it makes sense that he has gone to be married.
Oh yes, he was very charming. He even tried to crack on to my mum......
Rather odd behaviour for a teenager, wouldn't you say?
At the time when I grew up, asking someone out through their friend was the way to do it. It was "the norm". Cowardly, but very fifteen.......I come from a very small town where one had to follow the rules very carefully to save face. Hence why I couldn't get out of there quickly enough when the time came. Think American mid-west extreme religious community. With all the hypocricy and bullshit that goes along with it. I never felt at home there. I still hate the place.
As you say, I guess he wanted to redeem himself in front of his friend after you openly refused him. What did he expect though? He hadn't even touched you and he suddenly expected you to lay down beside him? Also while his friend was there.. bad timing indeed.
Bad timing, yes. Not to mention bad manners and how cowardly and stupid to point a gun at your girlfriends face just for the hell of it. I instantly lost whatever respect I had for him. I guess the whole experience taught me to be careful. It may even have distorted my view a little bit. I still freeze up when someone tries to get "personal" with me.
I know many unhappy marriages like these. It is fucked up....but it's their choice.