Privacy issues and Paranoia

[didyouknow]

I've always had a lot of privacy issues (which may or may not be classed as paranoia). Lately though, they've been getting worse. To the point that I don't want to go places alone or without a lot of security clothing.

I hate buying things not because I hate shopping, but I don't like people knowing what I'm buying. Even at the supermarket just buying ordinary things I have this fear of people knowing what I'm buying.

Then there's my bedroom. The door must be shut at all times and I'm always conscious of how someone could see through a gap in the venetian blinds. I hate it when people go in my room when I'm not there.

The clothing issue is a big one. I've always worn conservative clothing as well, but these days I'm anxiously waiting for winter to come so I can wear long pants and jackets again.

I hate going places alone because that means I don't have someone to copy. If I go to a restaurant I always get someone else to order. I always talk to them so I don't get approached by strangers.

So I suppose my big question is, is this an issue for alot of other people out there? Is this something I should get help for?

All comments welcome.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Hmmmmmm...

I'm tempted to say yes to the getting help question. I share some of the same things you do but some seem extreme even to me.

I now live alone in my own house and I still keep my bedroom door closed because I don't even want my cats going in there. I can also identify with your clothes buying issues. I hate it and I tend to go with the most bland things I can find. I have to go grocery shopping for myself so I've gotten over that. And this is weird but I find myself being extra friendly with cashiers at the grocery stores as if it gives me a sense of comfort as if it is a friend seeing me buy butter and not some stranger.

In my "office" where my tv and computer are located, every blind is down and closed with a curtain strategically placed to cover any gaps. Other windows are wide open. Strange I suppose but here and my bedroom seem to be "me zones" (although the cats are allowed in the office) and the rest is just part of my house.

 

[chocolate]

Hi didyouknow. I don't feel the way you do when I go out. I am paranoid about the internet though. I have had nightmares about being on the forums. And when a link doesn't work for a day I get these ideas that someone hacked into my account and banned me somehow. It might be partially because my email was hacked into before and some other creepy things have happened to me. I'm also paranoid about facebook, I can't be on that anymore because of it.

I've never heard of anyone describe the kind of thing you are talking about, but I know nothing about what's normal or not so I can't tell you if you should get help.

 

[didyouknow]

Wow chocolate, that's interesting. Perhaps it's your E that makes you this way. I actually feel a lot more safe on the internet because no-one knows who I am or what I look like. I don't mind social networking sites because most have a function that allows only who you accept as your friends to see your profile.

 

[Ermine]

I hate it when people hover over me when I'm reading, online, working. or doing anything requiring concentration. Whenever I get annoyed by people hovering, people always assume that I'm doing something inappropriate or embarrassing. But really, it seems that it's just my Ti being so private. I'd prefer to think that I have the right to think and concentrate by myself. Is that too much to ask?

And I don't really have the shopping issue unless it's something like medications, toiletries, underwear, more personal stuff.

 

[Waterstiller]

So I suppose my big question is, is this an issue for alot of other people out there? Is this something I should get help for?

It's an issue for me. Pretty much all of it except that if I go anywhere I would prefer to go by myself. And I'm more paranoid of the internet because I show my true self more often and there's always the thought that I'm completely misinterpreting everyone and coming off a complete fool.

My bedroom door is always shut and locked; nobody in my family knocks. I'm always torn between opening the blinds for some light or risking the openness. Usually I settle for an angle of the blinds that people couldn't see in at all but lets light in.

Secure clothing.. I always loved winter because I felt like I could hide behind my coats and jackets. I also like a purse because it gives me something to hold on to. I dislike being exposed or having anyone check me out or look at me. Which is usually a problem because I stand out wherever I go.

I have horrible social anxiety and routinely get panic attacks in public. My situation is probably a little different; I have some very legit issues to worry about (3 of my friends have been attacked for being trans in my city; one friend was raped for it). I worry about that a lot, but usually it's just general fear of never knowing what's going through people's heads.


I go through phases where become very private and other phases where I don't feel shame of parts of me existing in other people's minds.

 

[didyouknow]

@Waterstiller: When I said go with someone I meant someone I trust a lot. Which would mean knowing them for at least 4 or 5 years with a lot of contact. Also what do you mean by 'trans'... do you mean transsexual?

@Ermine: I forgot about that. I can't write or do much of anything while people are watching and I always feel anxiety when handing in assignments because I don't want them to see what I've written.

 

[Waterstiller]

Yeah, that sort of trans.

 

[Minuend]

I used to have similar problems when I had social anxiety. Actually, the anxiety is still there, just not as much. And since I'm more or less isolated, I don't have to deal with it. (Actually, I'm started to get a bit tired of not having any friends to hang out with ever, but I can't be bothered to do something about it).

Anyways. I think you should try to get help, didyouknow. I don't like saying things like this without knowing the person. But I know how our mind can be our worst enemy. A psychologist can help you change your way of thinking and give you another perspective on things. That's not easy to do on your own. There are several self- help books that can help. But in the end, you know whats best for you.

When I was about 16, I figured I needed to see a psychologist. I were also very depressed at that time. I went twice, then my social anxiety stopped me from going again. I said I didn't think I would need any more sessions, but I just wanted to avoid the anxiety I felt when I went there. Which was silly of me.

I also like to team up with a friend when I need to shop. Then the clerks will hopefully talk to my friend, not me. And people in general will notice s/he, not me. I think it's kind of silly, actually. What's the worst that can happen? But it doesn't prevent me from thinking this way. I have gotten a lot better over the years, though.

 

[didyouknow]

Wow. I did not know that. I was thinking "I stand out also because I'm a woman who's 6 foot tall".

I guess it must be hard for you. Now I'm thinking myself stupid as to think my issues could ever compare.

 

[didyouknow]

Thanks Queen of Spades, that was interesting. The only problem with going to see someone is doing it under the radar. I don't want my mother to know that I'm seeing someone because she's a child therapist so she might try to use it on me. I don't want her to know my problems.

 

[Waterstiller]

Wow. I did not know that. I was thinking "I stand out also because I'm a woman who's 6 foot tall".

I guess it must be hard for you. Now I'm thinking myself stupid as to think my issues could ever compare.

The vast majority of my social anxiety is related to me being a tall female INTP in society. Most women would kill to stand out in the way we do, and we seem to not enjoy the attention so much (which might be an understatement). I'm sure your experiences are more comparable than 99% of the human population. Especially when considering the nature of this thread and similarities in our paranoid behavior.

'I don't think you're stupid in the slightest' is what I'm trying to say.


There are two sides to every situation and if it weren't for a few specific issues I think I've had a lot to gain from my trans experience. If I could change it I don't think I would.

 

[didyouknow]

You should be pleased to know your last post (and knowing that you are that way) has made my perception of you change to awesomeness.

Actually, I've heard that INTP-type behaviour is quite 'masculine' and it makes me insecure about my femininity. We certainly aren't the typical average joes are we?

 

[Jesin]

Nor are you an average Jo.

 

[Fleur]

I avoid telling my family (and other human beings) about my friends, interests or anything else regarding to me. Damn, it feels creepy to tell about the book I've bought earlier (that's why I hide the cover while reading).
I hate when people are looking over my shoulder (and I have a feeling they're constantly doing it, even if they're just sitting in the other side of the room) or walking behind me. I have a habit to dispose of everything that could remind of me. I rarely show people any photos of myself.
When I'm on a street, I sometimes put a hood over my face because everybody seems to be staring at me.
But, when I'm forced to be together with people for a long time, I can get insane for real. I feel like I need to get out and run away from everybody, to lock myself in a lifeless place where nobody can find me.

Getting over this silly paranoia? The chances are zero. Everytime when I try to quit this behaviour, a reason not to flows to the surface. Mostly I get into a situation which rings the bell why I'm actually acting this way... my trust is violated once again and I have to retreat to the wonted state.

That's why I'm always keeping a backup plan.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Didyouknow,

I remember having to push through the fear of being alone at restaraunts, movie theatres, etc. I didn't want to create any weird impressions being alone - and new places still do bug me a little bit in that regard for fear of being judged about it... but I think your situation is more acute than mine originally was...

It sounds like it's inhibiting what you want to do with your life. If that's the case, I'd recommend you plan some ways to push on your issue a little bit. Low-challenge locations where you have to talk for just a moment with someone and then be by yourself until you leave. In this regard, fast food places are fairly useful because no one's there to make a connection. Most servers won't try any witty banter or anything like that. And if they do, an awkward smile is really all you need reply with.
​

 

[FacetiousPersona]

I am highly secretive and become paranoid when an individual is near my laptop. If my laptop is outside my bedroom and turned on, I have to lower the screen or turn it off while I am away from it. I am concerned an individual will view it, consequently violating my privacy. I also forbid anyone from entering my bedroom without me accompanying them.

People around me are ignorant of my interests and how I spend my time.

 

[Da Blob]

I've always had a lot of privacy issues (which may or may not be classed as paranoia). Lately though, they've been getting worse. To the point that I don't want to go places alone or without a lot of security clothing.

I hate buying things not because I hate shopping, but I don't like people knowing what I'm buying.

I hate it when people go in my room when I'm not there.

The clothing issue is a big one.

I always talk to them so I don't get approached by strangers.

So I suppose my big question is, is this an issue for alot of other people out there? Is this something I should get help for?

All comments welcome.

I do not know if you need help, we all have our quirks. However, if it is really getting in the way of getting things accomplished it would not hurt, we all could use help on occasions, sometimes just a different POV can be the key to solving a problem...

You might want to look up different personality disorder stuff, one might fit - I'm a Schizoid, myself...

 

[sagewolf]

I don't have a problem with people seeing me buy things, unless it's someone who I recognise-- a shop clerk who always seems to be on duty when I go there (since I generally visit shops at the same time every day (lunch) this makes sense, so it doesn't creep me out). If it's private stuff, like toiletries, or a magazine, then I might feel embarrassed, but it doesn't feel like a privacy issue.

People going into my room, or looking through my stuff, or checking my computer's history-- yes, that creeps me out big time. Rationally, there's nothing to fear; it's not like I'm on a drugs forum or viewing porn every day. What are they going to do, find out what webcomics I read? But it still sends shivers down my spine. I hate teachers who wander around the room while the class works. It feels like they're spying on me. Me, specifically. Every time they pass my desk I stop working and look up at them surreptitiously, to make sure they're not looking over my shoulder. In third year, once, when the Art teacher took our tech class in a free period, she was walking around the room and commented the drawing I was doing in my sketch book. It took me the rest of the day to recover from that.

I don't wear plain clothing, though. Realistically, I wear what clothing I can afford, but I always try to pick clothing that I feel is expressive, or that looks good on me, or that I just plain bloody well like. I used to dress very plainly and inconspicuously, but I don't anymore. I can't say why-- maybe I'm more comfortable with who I am now?

I'm actually a lot less concerned about my privacy when I'm in a big city than I am out here in the country, and I remember when I lived in the city I wasn't concerned about it then either. I suppose there's something about the grand scale of a city that reassures me-- yes, I just revealed something about myself, but there are a thousand other people around me doing that very same thing right now, and nobody gives a damn anyway, so just keep going. Out here in the country, everything is a Happy Little Community, where everyone seems to have a hold on your private life. (One I didn't tell them they could take.) That creeps me out.

 

[EditorOne]

Lucky me, I've not got any of the issues described here surrounding privacy, but 35 years of being an open book because you report for a newspaper will boil that out of you.

Maybe it would help to remember that all the people you think are bearing down on you and your life are in all probability far more centered on their own, parents and whatnot excepted.
-----------------------------
"The vast majority of my social anxiety is related to me being a tall female INTP in society."

Well, if you want to disguise your anxiety without actually exerting any effort, wear high heels. It kind of says "yeah, and?" to anyone who notices you're tall. :-) Puts an instant chip on your shoulder.
---------------------


There is a very old joke about paranoia, just remember it's a joke, dammit: "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."

 

[Weliddryn]

I have developed a code language which I write in, based on the Nordic Runes. I use this code to write in for anything other than school work so that my writings can be read by nobody but myself.

When ever somebody comes over to my computer, I minimize the windows or turn the monitor off.

If somebody comes too near me, physically, I will move away if I can, or become very uncomfortable if I cannot move. I dislike being around people, in general, and become very paranoid if my back is facing people. I prefer to be in a back corner, where I can observe an area without fear of being unknowingly observed myself.

 

[fullerene]

I have developed a code language which I write in, based on the Nordic Runes. I use this code to write in for anything other than school work so that my writings can be read by nobody but myself.

...that is bad ass.

 

[bdubs]

I hate sharing music with most people. I do not like it when others see what I am doing on the computer. I hate it when someone watches me work on homework questions. I seem to be in good company here.

On a side note, post count: 100

 

[didyouknow]

Congratulations bdubs!

I agree with all of these. When people ask me what I'm doing/listening to I give the most vague answer I can. It's not that it's bad... it's just that I have this trust issue that I don't want anyone to know things about me.

 

[chocolate]

Wow chocolate, that's interesting. Perhaps it's your E that makes you this way. I actually feel a lot more safe on the internet because no-one knows who I am or what I look like. I don't mind social networking sites because most have a function that allows only who you accept as your friends to see your profile.

Possibly. I can be a very shy person in person but have no reservations about performing on stage or dancing like no one's watching to use that phrase, making a presentation, things like that.

But something about being out there in the internet world...it's not like I don't trust the people on the forum, it's just that anyone can have access to me here, anyone in the world! It feels much more public to me.

 

[Da Blob]

Possibly. I can be a very shy person in person but have no reservations about performing on stage or dancing like no one's watching to use that phrase, making a presentation, things like that.

But something about being out there in the internet world...it's not like I don't trust the people on the forum, it's just that anyone can have access to me here, anyone in the world! It feels much more public to me.

Hmmm Maybe you feel more vulnerable on the internet because you are being more honest... Not just putting on a "Performance' of some kind.

The access others have is the access you grant to them. Granting access can be a scary thing... (That's why I don't do it very often my self)

 

[didyouknow]

Actually I took a big risk in making this thread in the first place. I thought about deleting it but I'm getting sick of this inability to trust and thought I'd test the waters a bit by posting and seeing what I got.

@Chocolate: I perform well on stage as well. I did drama for a semester and I was the teacher's pet (a teacher who previously hated me). I just forget who I am and get absorbed into the character. It works better when my Ne is in overdrive (which usually happens when I get stressed).

It sure is nice to know I'm not the only crazy one.

 

[chocolate]

@daBlob: Very interesting! I never thought about it that way but now that I think about it, I think you are absolutely right. As I imagine you meant by your use of quotes, even when not performing officially, there is always some performance aspect in day to day life -- the clothes, the way of speaking, the choice of which information to present to someone, etc. I have read other threads about INTPs feeling like chameleons -- I do that all the time (it's automatic, but I try to curb it), but here I am sincere.

@didyouknow: Yes!! When I am in front of people, teaching or performing or whatever, I often forget I'm there. It's kind of like an out of body experience, for the same reason as you -- I get completely absorbed into what I'm doing. Then sometimes I become aware of myself, and it's like "fancy meeting you here".

I don't think we're crazy although I'm pretty sure a lot of my paranoia comes from Ne + wild imagination to concoct stories about the things my Ne picks up.

 

[Fukyo]

I'm very private and paranoid,maybe even obsessively so.
I never write anything personal down for the fear of being discovered,on one has access to my computer except for me and if someone approaches while I'm on it I minimize the window or turn of the screen.My room is kept under lock while I'm out of the house and I take the key with me.I also lock the door at night while I sleep.The though of someone going through my room/and or things makes me want to jump out of my skin.I have also put thick dark curtains on my windows to prevent someone from looking through.(The windows of of an apartment building right across the street directly face my bedroom window)
When I'm out in the street I'm very anxious about attracting attention to myself and can't stand my personal bubble being invaded by strangers,especially physical contact.Taking a ride in a crowded buss is literally hell.I also don't like when asked questions about something I'm currently reading,I tend to avoid or give vague answers.

 

[Da Blob]

I'm very private and paranoid,maybe even obsessively so.
I never write anything personal down for the fear of being discovered...

We seem to be opposites in this. I spent a lot of my youth in attention-seeking behavior Hoping to be discovered. (and even now I find myself indulging in this, occasionally)

I was disappointed, when I succeeded in attracting attention, for, more often than not, when I was 'discovered' it was not with approval. I found that I wasn't seeking attention as much as seeking approval and affirmation.

My response to this pattern of disapproval was to simply withdraw - to distance my Self from my Self. People saw in me what they wished to see - no matter what the reality of the situation was. I learned not to take anything 'personally' not even the rare instances of approval. This works for me, it is like a form of insulation. A protection from disapproval, because I am not 'there' to be disapproved of...

Perhaps, (since we seem to be opposites) you can invert this attitude in some form to be useful in your own life, because in your efforts to avoid attention (and possibly disapproval) you might actually be attracting attention, if only by being 'different'...

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

Its mine....you can't have it or feel it or EVEN SEE IT..............EVER!
the embarassment, the feeear the evil shoulder-stood lookers on Knowing THINGS! REAL THINGS!....................woah...........................................SNAP! hahaha...

(at least when i reach 1000 posts i will be sub-entitled "Little Bastard")

 

[Da Blob]

Its mine....you can't have it or feel it or EVEN SEE IT..............EVER!
the embarassment, the feeear the evil shoulder-stood lookers on Knowing THINGS! REAL THINGS!....................woah...........................................SNAP! hahaha...

(at least when i reach 1000 posts i will be sub-entitled "Little Bastard")

Were you responding to my post? We seem to have posted at the same time?

 

[Gorgrim]

We seem to be opposites in this. I spent a lot of my youth in attention-seeking behavior Hoping to be discovered. (and even now I find myself indulging in this, occasionally)

I was disappointed, when I succeeded in attracting attention, for, more often than not, when I was 'discovered' it was not with approval. I found that I wasn't seeking attention as much as seeking approval and affirmation.

My response to this pattern of disapproval was to simply withdraw - to distance my Self from my Self. People saw in me what they wished to see - no matter what the reality of the situation was. I learned not to take anything 'personally' not even the rare instances of approval. This works for me, it is like a form of insulation. A protection from disapproval, because I am not 'there' to be disapproved of...

Perhaps, (since we seem to be opposites) you can invert this attitude in some form to be useful in your own life, because in your efforts to avoid attention (and possibly disapproval) you might actually be attracting attention, if only by being 'different'...

Did you not get approval? how come could that be, I wonder if back in the day you chatted with your teachers perhaps?

I have been seeking attention and teacher's interest, in hopes they would talk with me, since I wanted to connect to them in some way. Maybe affirmation, aswell as beeing recognised as somebody special. Wanting to learn beyond, in more detail about some subjects. Looking at them for male rolemodels, and people who have studied and such...

I've talked to my biology teacher, Math teacher, and Physics teacher.... they were interesting, I pried conversation out of them with some questions and topics. It gave me some of what I needed, that some of those teacher's were interested in me, and didn't mind me. I was afraid they would naturally think I was only a student, far from beeing a teacher. That I would be shrugged off If i tried to talk to them beyond what we learn in class....

 

[Fukyo]

(at least when i reach 1000 posts i will be sub-entitled "Little Bastard")

Copy cat.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

aaah but i will be Little Bastard

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

aaah but i will be Little Bastard

Beats being called a Little Prick

 

[Anling]

Like several others here, I have privacy issues that probably occasionally border on paranoia. I have two conflicting desires: to be understood and to be completely private. I don't like the thought of anyone knowing anything about me. Perhaps it is because I fear the rejection or ridicule of my precious thoughts. But most of the time it just seems like an irrational need for anonymity. If people knew enough of my behavior they might understand enough to worm their way into my internal landscape. They aren't allowed in my head, to know my thoughts and motivations, my vulnerabilities. Maybe I just want to see if someone is trustworthy before allowing them any access to my inner self.

In any case, if it is interfering with your life perhaps you would benefit from professional help. I've thought about that myself, but I can just see myself becoming incredibly hostile to the therapist, even if I was there voluntarily.

 

[Da Blob]

Wouldn't a very good therapist if she or he did not know how to deal with defensive hostility

 

[Anling]

Well, for the most part I've dealt with it on my own. Forced myself to open up to a couple people and thus removed most of the emotional constipation. Maybe next time I have a break down and have insurance to cover it I'll subject a professional to my vitriol.

 

[hopefulmonster]

I've always had a lot of privacy issues (which may or may not be classed as paranoia). Lately though, they've been getting worse. To the point that I don't want to go places alone or without a lot of security clothing.

I hate buying things not because I hate shopping, but I don't like people knowing what I'm buying. Even at the supermarket just buying ordinary things I have this fear of people knowing what I'm buying.

Then there's my bedroom. The door must be shut at all times and I'm always conscious of how someone could see through a gap in the venetian blinds. I hate it when people go in my room when I'm not there.

The clothing issue is a big one. I've always worn conservative clothing as well, but these days I'm anxiously waiting for winter to come so I can wear long pants and jackets again.

I hate going places alone because that means I don't have someone to copy. If I go to a restaurant I always get someone else to order. I always talk to them so I don't get approached by strangers.

So I suppose my big question is, is this an issue for alot of other people out there? Is this something I should get help for?

All comments welcome.

This is not a healthy level of anxiety. Its leading to you avoiding/detesting fairly common activities such as GOING OUTSIDE and eating. Of course you should seek professional help. This is coming from a fellow nutter with much love <3.

 

[didyouknow]

I had to explain to a teacher today because I was feeling really anxious about sharing my theories in my history class (after watching other people get completely shot down) and I literally almost cried with the stress of having to explain that I was feeling intimidated.

@Hopefulmonster: Of course I go outside!...to watch the sunrise from my backyard...

Now I just have to get to a shrink without my parents finding out. Not to mention get some money for it first.

 

[Red Mage]

I've always had a lot of privacy issues (which may or may not be classed as paranoia). Lately though, they've been getting worse. To the point that I don't want to go places alone or without a lot of security clothing.

Define "security clothing." I wear this same black fleece jacket at all times. I feel more "secure" in it (like a kid's security blanket), but I'm not sure if that's how you mean.

I hate buying things not because I hate shopping, but I don't like people knowing what I'm buying. Even at the supermarket just buying ordinary things I have this fear of people knowing what I'm buying.

I am exactly this way too. Clothes shopping is devastating for me. I always feel like the (often female) clerks are judging me. Buying anything else gets me anxious as well.

Then there's my bedroom. The door must be shut at all times and I'm always conscious of how someone could see through a gap in the venetian blinds. I hate it when people go in my room when I'm not there.

Oh my god this is a big one for me too. My bedroom door is always closed and I'm paranoid about people being able to see me in the window. I also have a weird obsession where I close the shower curtain when I'm in the bathroom. There's other weird paranoid things I do too.

The clothing issue is a big one. I've always worn conservative clothing as well, but these days I'm anxiously waiting for winter to come so I can wear long pants and jackets again.

I wear long pants and the aforementioned fleece jacket in the 80-to-90-degree summer as well.

I hate going places alone because that means I don't have someone to copy. If I go to a restaurant I always get someone else to order. I always talk to them so I don't get approached by strangers.

I used to be nervous when ordering food all of the time too, and I would never ever dare call and order pizza. Except for ordering pizza, however, I would have to order for myself because I'm a guy and it would look even worse to have another guy order for me. Sometimes I'll make them order first and then just say, "Same," though. That eases the anxiety a little.

 

[hopefulmonster]

I had to explain to a teacher today because I was feeling really anxious about sharing my theories in my history class (after watching other people get completely shot down) and I literally almost cried with the stress of having to explain that I was feeling intimidated.

@Hopefulmonster: Of course I go outside!...to watch the sunrise from my backyard...

Now I just have to get to a shrink without my parents finding out. Not to mention get some money for it first.

Would your parents be against you seeking help or are you too proud/ashamed/anxious to tell them you have a problem? I delayed seeking help until things spiraled out of control because I simply did not want my parents to know I had a problem, BIG mistake.

I'm not sure I can offer much advice about the financial issues of finding a psychologist. There are free med programs in the states if you want to go the drug route but I would recomend investing in a course of CBT. Really kicks anxiety in the ass and provides techniques you can use for a lifetime.

CBT and it's precursor(forgot the name) are the only forms of psychotherapy to actually survive peer review btw.

 

[didyouknow]

Define "security clothing." I wear this same black fleece jacket at all times. I feel more "secure" in it (like a kid's security blanket), but I'm not sure if that's how you mean.

Security clothing for me generally consists of lots and lots of jackets and coats. I can't wear anything that is higher than my knees and I never leave the bedroom in my pajamas. I also love wearing long necklaces because you can fidget with them so that you have something to do with your hands.

I also have a weird obsession where I close the shower curtain when I'm in the bathroom. There's other weird paranoid things I do too.

I forgot about this one. Whenever I have a shower I get the towel and cover the part of the glass wall where someone could see through the window (even though the window is too high for people under 6 foot and you can't see through it anyway).

Sometimes I'll make them order first and then just say, "Same," though. That eases the anxiety a little.

This also reminded me that when I'm using public transport I often travel with someone else and make them go first so I can say "same" after them as well. When at a train station I refuse to use anything but the machine to get my ticket.

 

[didyouknow]

Would your parents be against you seeking help or are you too proud/ashamed/anxious to ask them for help? I delayed seeking help until things spiraled out of control because I simply did not want my parents to know I had a problem, BIG mistake.

I always pretend to be as normal as I can be around my mother because whenever she notices I'm upset she prods into my life and if we're in the car she'll pull over and won't drive until I tell her what's wrong. I hate people invading my private life without my consent. It's like violating my principles/exposing myself to people.

Knowing that I'm seeking psychological help will make her prod me until the point of withdrawal (when they know too much and I cannot trust them with any more information on myself).

 

[hopefulmonster]

I always pretend to be as normal as I can be around my mother because whenever she notices I'm upset she prods into my life and if we're in the car she'll pull over and won't drive until I tell her what's wrong. I hate people invading my private life without my consent. It's like violating my principles/exposing myself to people.

I am the same way however I am glad I finally gave in and asked her to get me some help.

You have no idea how amazing it felt when my anxiety issues were subdued and I realized just how F'n nuts my thought processes were. Literaly spending hours of my day worrying about:What I say, eating in front of people, how I dress, was I seen at X store? Oh my god is he looking at me? Why is he looking at me? I must be dressed weird*runs out of store* or rather walked briskly since I thought my gait was weird when running and would panic at the thought of having to do more then jog.

Sound familar?

Now I have been able to do things like:undress at the gym(even my underwear), eat finger food in public and go outside without triple checking myself in the mirror. Yay!

 

[Red Mage]

This also reminded me that when I'm using public transport I often travel with someone else and make them go first so I can say "same" after them as well. When at a train station I refuse to use anything but the machine to get my ticket.

Or when at the movies with friends. Saying, "Same," works there too.

 

[didyouknow]

Now I have been able to do things like:undress at the gym(even my underwear), eat finger food in public and go outside without triple checking myself in the mirror. Yay!

All this is a product of talking about your problems? I don't know... the side effects kind of outweigh the good points.

 

[hopefulmonster]

All this is a product of talking about your problems? I don't know... the side effects kind of outweigh the good points.

CBT has been shown to cause synaptic changes in anxiety related portions of the brain...again it has passed peer review with flying colours and outperforms drug therapy for anxiety disorders but it is ultimately your choice. I'm not sure what the side effects you are refering to are. Beyond a lighter checkbook.

 

[didyouknow]

Ah I see. I didn't look up CBT until just now and realized you meant cognitive behavioural therapy... I studied that a couple years ago. It's not all ignorant hope/ optimism is it? That stuff just makes me annoyed.