Mystically Transformed XIII

[XIII]

I have grown tired of the XIII who has been presented to the forum thus far. He was one of my better works, but to include more strokes would be to ruin the painting. I shall now wave my mystic Ni and will XIII to die and be born anew:

I am now removed from any corpeal form, a 3rd party meta-programming center within XIII's psychophysiology. I am he who has no form but directs all forms. I have removed myself from my temporary incarnation as XIII version 1, and am now becoming XIII version 2.

I willed it, and thus it was. And he who I became was:

Oh... hello there INTPForum . I'm XIII (strange name, I know, but it's just a silly joke me and some friends have. It's named after a character from a cute computer game we played when we were kids). I don't usually post on internet forums, because I find that they're often populated by people who've built up thick shells over the years. I don't hold it against them, and I wish I could help them to be happy, but it doesn't tend to work out. This place seems diferent though. It's open and friendly and... somehow rare.

I see pain, though; so much pain. That's why I'm here, on this forum. My purpose in life is to make others feel loved and understood in the way which they desire, even if years of pain and dissapointment have forced them to forget it. I don't know why, but I've always been so sensitive to this pain. I... can't help but sense it want to help... to let the people around me know love.

So, I look forward to seeing you all around and geting to know you . If I anything I say ever seems unclear or hurtful, please let me know asap so I can correct myself. I had a brother... once... who... but that will have to wait. I'm sometimes a little too forward .

I'm so glad I found a forum full of beautiful and sensitive souls, and that I may be able to bring a little hapiness and lightness into the lives of such Geniuses!

p.s. You can call me XIII if you want, but just 'x' is ok as well.

 

[Ermine]

Hi, new XIII.

 

[Red Mage]

Alrighty then.

 

[preilemus]

confusing, to say the least...


Hi and welcome to the forum. i hope you find it most accomodating here.

 

[Red Mage]

Oh, I get it. You had a sex change operation. I support you whole-heartedly. By the way, the new you looks just adorable!

 

[XIII]

haha no I'm a man. I like the girl in my avatar, though. Looking at her kind face makes me feel warm . Anyway thank you so much Ermine (that's such a nice username) and Glovehead and Mac OS X Ocelot. I hope to get to know you all better on these forums!

 

[Red Mage]

Now that I'm not picturing her as a man who recently underwent a sex change operation, she's kind of making me feel warm and fuzzy inside, too.

 

[preilemus]

like you just ate a cat?

 

[XIII]

Guys, I'm trying to put my personality from personalitypage.info in my signature but I'm not sure how? Could somebody help me please

 

[saffyangelis]

Hiya XII II

I think it's insert or import image into signature or something along those lines,
but hello, and re-welcome into the forum.

 

[Ermine]

Guys, I'm trying to put my personality from personalitypage.info in my signature but I'm not sure how? Could somebody help me please

I saved mine as a jpg and uploaded it. Photobucket never fails either.

 

[XIII]

Hi saffy, I like your avatar. Thanks Ermine, I tried those, so maybe I just need to wait for a moderator to approve it?

p.s I saved it and uploaded it to photobucket anyway

 

[XIII]

HAHA It worked! Thanks for your help guys

 

[Red Mage]

If you thought, for some reason, that you weren't getting along fine enough as your old self and that you would do better in a new persona as an asian female ENFP, then why didn't you just create a new account? I know Lor will murder me for suggesting it, but it makes more sense and hurts my head less. Did you want to keep your post count?

Or is this simply to help out that personality destruction experiment you seemed serious about but then in one post said you were giving up on?

 

[XIII]

If you thought, for some reason, that you weren't getting along fine enough as your old self and that you would do better in a new persona as an asian female ENFP, then why didn't you just create a new account? I know Lor will murder me for suggesting it, but it makes more sense and hurts my head less. Did you want to keep your post count?

Or is this simply to help out that personality destruction experiment you seemed serious about but then in one post said you were giving up on?

Haha? XIII1 never said he was giving up on his experiment... could you show me the post you're talking about (I think it was postponed for a few weeks because of school exams, but its defs not stopping until its completed)? I'm not Asian or female , I just like Asian females. I guess we all have our own reasons for what we do really, but all I want is to make people feel loved and happy and free them from their worries for a while. I'm really sorry that your head hurts, but I don't like doing dishonest things like creating double accounts. I can never feel comfortable when I'm doing things like that.

 

[Red Mage]

Maybe I misunderstood this post.

 

[XIII]

I can't find the bit you mean? I'm sorry, could you be really specific for me?

p.s. I'm sure there's something I'm missing, I just can't find the bit you mean. Anyway, just so you know, I don't think XIII1 ever meant to say that he was quitting. He was kind of obsessive about it, to the point that he was prepared to go mad over it if that's what it took to complete it. He even developed a mild neurological disorder as a result of his experiments and how dtermined he is not to stop no matter what . I know it's what he loves to do, but it worries me that somebody with so much potential can be so reckless with themselves.

 

[severus]

Mm.
This is mildly disturbing.

 

[Kuu]

Tekton loves talking in third person. It seems that you do, too.

 

[cheese]

Not surprising. I am just wondering if there is a core. Is there a centre binding the underlying structures? (OP suggests so: I am he who has no form but directs all forms. I have removed myself from my temporary incarnation as XIII version 1, and am now becoming XIII version 2.) If there is, how far do You believe the things you say?

*edit
Cute girl!

 

[echoplex]

Hello. I too have considered a different persona. I have thought of being more emotional but I don't have the ability and it would seem dishonest. I have thought of being more J-like and telling people how crazy are and that they should seek therapy. I considered becoming a dinosaur but I don't like following trends. I guess, in the end I'm just boring ol' me.

And due to my susceptibility to avatars, you may have to remind me you're male or else I may flirt with you. This is unintentional and mainly a function of extroverted P-ness which is considered normal by the MBTI.

 

[Jennywocky]

Now that I'm not picturing her as a man who recently underwent a sex change operation, she's kind of making me feel warm and fuzzy inside, too.

like you just ate a cat?

It musn't have been one of those hairless egyptian cats then.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Oh, don't worry so much about the change, everyone. Personally, I think it's nice to see you embracing life and leaving behind the self-destructive moods you were in before, XIII.

(Thought better of this particular suggestion... It has been removed.)
​

 

[Auburn]

....I ....don't buy it.....

XIII,

Why do you lie to yourself?
Have you truly changed who you are?
No matter how many masks you try on, your true face hasn't changed...
If your actual core personality had changed, then you would have stopped this experiment a while ago. But it's your core, which is still there, that continues to carry it out.

There is still that part of you that acts as the "control center" in all of your experiments; a sort of "consciousness" that always remembers it's original goal, and the one who will snap you out of one phase and on to the next. This part of you cannot be synthesized into something else.

You cannot fully transform yourself, if you did, then even the part of you from the past, which long ago chose to start this experiment, would be completely lost to your new personality. You would have no way of returning back if your new self did not wish this anymore. It's your old self that still wishes this, and hence you are not truly transformed at the core, but peripherally.

The core of you, the part that still remembers everything and has the same goal, is probably listening right now also. I know you can hear me. Memory cells don't just disappear, and an entire neurological network (personality) in the brain, cannot just be "willed" out of existence. Physically speaking, it's impossible.


And I suspect you'll probably respond to this post with your new persona instead and somehow discredit my arguments. I don't expect the core XIII to respond to this message, but I know you must have hear it...

 

[XIII]

there's changes and then there's changes. Of course there's something behind it all, XIII1 is just about moving himself away from the ''surface personalities'' ('destroying' or 'changing' them) and to the deepest core, so that he knows what he is and what he had the power to change. I think he'd have agreed with you really- it's just a different way of phrasing it i think. He definitely changed a lot- what he wanted to change- but different people would call that change different things . Maybe it didn't affect some essential bit of him or get rid of the old habits... but it led to so many new ways of being that he experienced life completely differently and seemed completely different to everyone, even when he wasn't doing crazy experiments . He was kind of cold before he started, actually, but he opened up and became spontaneous and warm after a few months. He was awesome fun to be around . Reading back through XIII's posts... he talks about a ''deep underlying structure'' that ''directs'' him no matter who's he's being, and I don't think he ever intended to change that. Maybe you could think of it this way: maybe he used the word ''personality'' to refer to something that could be changed and destroyed, and was learning how to change that as much as he could, but also thought that theree was something behind it.. Maybe his experiments were really more about reaching the somthing behind than they were about changing who he was on the surface... like the deepest kind of self inquiry possible ? He was an applied renegade psychologist . Maybe you mean the deepest core when you say 'personality' but XIII1 meant something different? You're not really disagreeing, just using different words. I don't think he reall lied to himself... in fact he was all about honesty... and getting rid of anything within him that wasn't truth. If you go through all the different ways of being and thinking.... maybe you find out what's a lie and what's truth? I think that was what he wanted. I respect that, and I understand all his experiments, but I'm more interested in helping other people to move from pain to hapiness and joy. I think XIII1 needed somebody like that. Why would somebody do such a thing if they weren't in deep pain?

I don't think I should really talk about this anymore. It's not waht I'm about. So if anybody does talk about it again, I'm really sorry if I don't answer. I don't mean to upset you . I don't mean to upset anybody, actually . I understand that new and unusual things can be painful or frightening... you're not used to dealing with them, so of course they are. I just hope that I can bring some of you a little hapiness anyway, and show you that there's really nothing to be scared of about me or XIII1. In many ways, he was really a kind person trying to deal with the cruelty of this world... like most of you. That's why I can realate to you... I knew him and what he needed and got to know and love INTs , which is why I want to help here

 

[XIII]

Oh, don't worry so much about the change, everyone. Personally, I think it's nice to see you embracing life and leaving behind the self-destructive moods you were in before, XIII.

(Thought better of this particular suggestion... It has been removed.)
​

Well people seem to be having fun around me wherever I go, so I'm happy. Thank you Sapphire Harp.

p.s. I love your user name, it's so elegant.

 

[XIII]

Mm.
This is mildly disturbing.

I'm sorry, I really don't want to disturb anyobdy

 

[XIII]

Hello. I too have considered a different persona. I have thought of being more emotional but I don't have the ability and it would seem dishonest. I have thought of being more J-like and telling people how crazy are and that they should seek therapy. I considered becoming a dinosaur but I don't like following trends. I guess, in the end I'm just boring ol' me.

And due to my susceptibility to avatars, you may have to remind me you're male or else I may flirt with you. This is unintentional and mainly a function of extroverted P-ness which is considered normal by the MBTI.

Don't try and change, you're cool like you are

 

[Melkor]

Woah.

thyere are three voices in my head right now.


Voice one says:


-Right...who is this? Oh..old member that has returned but really never did much anyway so...
oh yeah..welcome..

Voice two, somewhat loudly says:

A guy witha female avatar?

WHAT THE HELL?

GENDER CONFUSION IS A CRIME!


Voice three, the cleverest, says:

Oh..yeah.....hmm..ummmmm..hhrrrrr.....ehhh.....

I was...just....erm....thinking..that...ermmmm....uh....well.....
AT WHAT POINT DO I BEGIN TO CARE?

 

[Razare]

I find the exuberant happiness to be the most disturbing aspect.

I can't say that I liked XII1 better, though. He was depressing even for an intellectual type.

See I'm very familiar with this, it's called role playing. I used to do it all the time in Neverwinter Nights multiplayer. Like, I might make an elf character and figure out what motivates that character, what their quirks are. Are they an optimist, a pessimist? Then I would interact with other characters, expressing that fictitious character's personality. It was a lot of fun and I still do it occasionally.

When playing a character you'd forget who you are and take on their motivations. In many ways us as humans are not so different than those virtual characters.

My favorite characters were the domineering female villains (they're sexy.)

So... Welcome XII2, enjoy your stay.

 

[XIII]

YOu're post kind of makes me feel upset, Razare... I think that we all do the best we can with what we have and there's no real reason to judge anybody. even people who are criminals or evil were probably just hurt by somebody else who was hurt, and I know that doesn't make it right but we should be understanding and try to help them and make them feel better.

Anyway I kind of know what you mean about roleplaying. Lots of people don't realise that you can actually change pretty much everything about how you interact with the world just by a decision... you can do it in a game and in real life, although it takes a lot more effort and is scarier in real life. Also it feels like play when you're on a game, but it can feel like somethings wrong with you if you do it in real life. Anwyay I don't think that it's playing makes it any less worthwhile because you were playing before too but you were just so used to the character that you didn't realise it.

I think it's just like how people think that I'm less real than XIII1 just because you met him first, even though that's not true ta all. It's just like people think that who they usually are is true because they spent time as that person before they spent time as another!! I'm more like XIII1's brother than his son... he's cool though.

Anyway don't worry. I don't like it when people are nasty about others, but I know that they're just trying to deal with their own pain. So thanks for the welcome and I hope to get to know you better around the forum

 

[Melkor]

Gosh.....

You really are a freak!

 

[XIII]

I think we're all kind of odd in our own ways... but I don't mind so long as I can help people be happy... maybe I was a little too forward but that's just who I am . Your avatar is cool .

 

[merzbau]

think i understand what you're doing now. very cool.
you're an interesting person.

just a quick question; do you think everyone should experience what you're doing for themselves?

 

[Melkor]

Err...definately not.

Not unless we all want to end up a tad screwed in the head.

Like this sad individual.

and just to clear things up, i'm not nasty due to 'internal pain', I'm nasty because you're a moron, and I feel as though you deserve a large amount of spite.

and.

you are helping no-one but yourself be 'happy'.

Go chew on a brick.

 

[Auburn]

think i understand what you're doing now. very cool.
you're an interesting person.

I second that. Thank you XIII for that response.
And I apologize for the directness of my previous post. I've probably come across as more hostile than I really am. Glad to have you here.

I don't think I should really talk about this anymore. It's not what I'm about. So if anybody does talk about it again, I'm really sorry if I don't answer.

Understood...

 

[XIII]

think i understand what you're doing now. very cool.
you're an interesting person.

just a quick question; do you think everyone should experience what you're doing for themselves?

Thank you . If you mean do I think that everybody should do personality change experiments... definitely no! No no no!

 

[XIII]

I second that. Thank you XIII for that response.
And I apologize for the directness of my previous post. I've probably come across as more hostile than I really am. Glad to have you here.



Understood...

 

[preilemus]

psst, Morgoth: http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=2631

(it might clear some things up for you, or alternatively just reinforce your current belief)

 

[Sapphire Harp]

I think everyone ought take notice of what's happening here. Of all the things our community could find most difficult to embrace and readily accept...

...it would be happiness?

I mean, Melkor's on the edge of declaring a blood-feud with XIII... and lots of other reactions found it strange, at least...

If nothing else, I think there's something to be discovered here in our own reactions.

It's also kind of curious for me to find you eminently relatable now, XIII. It is unexpected of myself... In particular, I was thinking this thought, myself, for the first time just a couple days ago:

I think that we all do the best we can with what we have.

 

[FacetiousPersona]

Which card is this?

 

[ViS]

You got it wrong.

ENFPs are out to save the world, not make people feel loved.

 

[preilemus]

*Deleted

 

[XIII]

You got it wrong.

ENFPs are out to save the world, not make people feel loved.

See I tested as ENFP but I don't try to be one. I just took the test as me and that's what I got. I'm not very objective, so maybe I got the answers wrong...

 

[Razare]

Yes, don't confine yourself to a silly "type" when constructing your own. You'll just end up propagating some long-held archetype/stereotype. Uniqueness is key when crafting a lovable character.

YOu're post kind of makes me feel upset, Razare...

I apologize. The character I'm playing is a cynical 24yr old who finds this amusing, but the comments were not meant to harm.

Lots of people don't realise that you can actually change pretty much everything about how you interact with the world just by a decision... you can do it in a game and in real life, although it takes a lot more effort and is scarier in real life.

Precisely. If a person were stripped of their environment, friends, family, history, and given the opportunity to start fresh, at that moment they could quite easily make a choice to be someone else. All it would require is determination to see it through until that choice felt natural, until it was second nature to them.

The reason this is rare and difficult is because the things I mentioned drag us back into our old selves.

I think it's just like how people think that I'm less real than XIII1 just because you met him first, even though that's not true ta all.

I agree. XIII1 was off, though it never occurred to me why. A person seemingly more cynical and screwed up than your average INTP? Is this possible? People like that usually start religious cults in third world countries only to burn alive as their complex gets shelled by militants, or some other misfortune befalls them. (Don't get any ideas Cog.)

 

[Toad]

Can we start a petition to get the original XIII back? I mean I like the new avatar and everything, but...well she gives me the heeby jeebies the way she talks. And yes I'm calling him her because I don't feel comfortable with a man talking the way he does. You guys get that feeling too right? I mean...it's just creepy...

So i'm going to be the first to sign the petition...

SLYGUY

 

[severus]

XIII1 died, and XIII2 snatched the body. Anyone?

2 seems more fake than 1, for which there are two reasons. 1 was here first, and change is not easily accepted. Also, 2 sounds cheesey. More of a caricature than a character (stepford wives?). Except, I don't know if it's bad acting or if I'm just unable to relate to the type.

Edit:
Petition~severus

Edit2:
fuck petitions. if s/he wants to act like a creeper, go right ahead.

 

[preilemus]

hes not doing it for us

 

[Deleted member 1424]

A lot of us asked you on previous threads to document your experiment. I'm glad you integrated it into the forum. It's very interesting to observe. My own reactions and others to it have been fascinating. Why do we have a this reflex to despise such personality crossovers? We all naturally do this to a limited degree (the chameleon); so its a hypocritical kneejerk reaction. (I am only referencing my own thought, not judging anyone else) I wish I could observe you in real life.

I can't really say how 'real' XIII-I was, but he seemed more sincere too me. I feel he matched your 'core' personality more than XIII-II. I probably only think that since I knew XIII-I first, but he seemed more real. I know your probably still fine-tuning this persona; and I figure by the end of the next cycle you will have it nailed. Which tarot card is XIII-II? I understand if you want to keep true to the role though. I know you don't particularly want to talk about it anymore and that's fine. I hope you decide to keep posting 'in persona' on the forum. Good Luck.

 

[Toad]

O was XIII the one doing that God Personality thingy? I didn't really follow that post so I totally forgot it was him. Was the original XIII an INTP? What god is he trying to personify himself with this time?