Mental illness on the forum

[Black Rose]

It was mentioned that since so many people on the forum have a mental illness that this forum is really a mental illness forum. Now I am not making this thread to harass anyone, this is not a witchhunt. I am just curious how the forum is run knowing so many people have such conditions here. My condition has been diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder. I've been to the hospital several times. I've had several times where my condition has affected my activity on the forum in a disruptive many. I am grateful he mods were understanding of this. My experiences can be manic and I do not always have self-control. But rectify things as I can.

This thread is here to share experiences of those on the forum that wish to discuss. Please do not mention others, not in the thread.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Most people don’t use inferior Fe, and also use Fi in any regard instead. If you’re INTP dominant Ti = inferior Fe. That’s pretty much all there is to it; it’s that simple.

 

[Grayman]

Most people don’t use inferior Fe, and also use Fi in any regard instead. If you’re INTP dominant Ti = inferior Fe. That’s pretty much all there is to it; it’s that simple.

... Looks like something a crazy person would write!

 

[moody]

Okay, I'll bite! Don't want to give my actual diagnosis, but I'll share some ways it has affected my life:

Don't have any disorders classified as mental, but I have a neurological one that can comparable symptoms. I have chronic sleep disturbances that have made me frighten roommates. I've never sleep-walked or trashed in my sleep, but I have started screaming at someone many times when I've been struggling to wake up, but am still sort of dreaming. Before I was diagnosed properly, a psychiatrist thought I was bipolar, had ADHD, and was depressed. I can appear highly irrational my thoughts because when I've gotten bad, I get unable to trace my thoughts so I latch desperately onto the conclusions and throw all my faith into the knowledge that I HAD thought it through but could never remember the process. For example, I knew not to believe the therapist's diagnoses because the way I thought and what I wanted wasn't connected with the way I felt, but I only appeared to have muted denial and emotional instability. (These symptoms started my senior year of high school...you can imagine how impossible my math class got when I could never re-track my thoughts...) Until I was diagnosed and started getting treated, I didn't notice that I'd stopped having emotions or the extent to which I micromanaged myself in order to survive. I had developed severe ODD symptoms that I've since been able to clamp down (mostly). I still don't acknowledge the ways my life is much harder than others', for my own sake. Otherwise, I'd get too spiteful for the way people have treated me when I was going above and beyond to try and do what they wanted to.

I'm glad I'm the way I am, because I've learned that no one knows my situation better than I do, and no one will help unless I figure out specifically what to ask for and how. No one will give you the benefit of the doubt. I put too much faith on other's listening skills before, and I was less able to cope when I was struggling and someone shrugged off my problems and told me to "suck it up."

 

[Daddy]

Maybe you INTPs just need a little "daddy" to help you out.

 

[moody]

Maybe you INTPs just need a little "daddy" to help you out.

No. Get a life.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I work around my issues as well as I can. I try to do the best most of the time. I dont know if I really did the best I could, but I try. I am schizoid, but I try to be social. I have bad memory, but I practice my memory everyday. I have trouble focusing, but I try keeping with activity as long as I can, and not divert my attention... I developed a lot of useful skills, that probably normal people dont need. In the end it may be even helpful in ways that makes my performance a little better than average.

I stick to what works and what doesnt I let go. I always evaluate my progress in terms of good or bad and terrible or much better.

I dont expect people to understand my situation so I never share my problems with anyone. I dont even bother my psychiatrist, because of all people she seems the most clueless. I trust my instincts on this and I work the way I think is best for me and people around me. I dont need sympathy or empathy for my condition nor do I want to bother anyone with my problems. Yes I do read about it and do my reasearch and I like reading on the themes of mental illness as well as watch vids on youtube and such, but I dont take it too seriously. I mean who knows. As far as I know officially there is no cure for my conditions, however I think I can work around my shortcomings in many practical ways.

It is a struggle, but I think the only person who can help me the best is me - myself. I know I needed help before, but now at this moment I do best on my own. I know where I am at and I know how to handle my self. I imagine most normal people dont have to struggle as much with simple things as I do, but thats life. I am basically a cripple, but honestly I think if someone starts using excuses and ways to blame the illness for shortcomings it becomes much harder to work on yourself and make honest effort.

Bottom line I work on solutions to my problems and dont look for excuses. True there are things that normal people can do and I just cant. It bothers me, but not to any greater level to be workedout about it.

 

[ZenRaiden]

worked up

 

[moody]

I work around my issues as well as I can. I try to do the best most of the time. I dont know if I really did the best I could, but I try. I am schizoid, but I try to be social. I have bad memory, but I practice my memory everyday. I have trouble focusing, but I try keeping with activity as long as I can, and not divert my attention... I developed a lot of useful skills, that probably normal people dont need. In the end it may be even helpful in ways that makes my performance a little better than average.

I stick to what works and what doesnt I let go. I always evaluate my progress in terms of good or bad and terrible or much better.

I dont expect people to understand my situation so I never share my problems with anyone. I dont even bother my psychiatrist, because of all people she seems the most clueless. I trust my instincts on this and I work the way I think is best for me and people around me. I dont need sympathy or empathy for my condition nor do I want to bother anyone with my problems. Yes I do read about it and do my reasearch and I like reading on the themes of mental illness as well as watch vids on youtube and such, but I dont take it too seriously. I mean who knows. As far as I know officially there is no cure for my conditions, however I think I can work around my shortcomings in many practical ways.

It is a struggle, but I think the only person who can help me the best is me - myself. I know I needed help before, but now at this moment I do best on my own. I know where I am at and I know how to handle my self. I imagine most normal people dont have to struggle as much with simple things as I do, but thats life. I am basically a cripple, but honestly I think if someone starts using excuses and ways to blame the illness for shortcomings it becomes much harder to work on yourself and make honest effort.

Bottom line I work on solutions to my problems and dont look for excuses. True there are things that normal people can do and I just cant. It bothers me, but not to any greater level to be workedout about it.

I don't have the same condition, but I completely understand where you're coming from about how you approach managing yourself/your symptoms. Trying to find someone to give you guidance or having to explain yourself is way more stressful than trusting yourself to think. (For me, anyway). It can be really hard to find decent psychiatrists that you work well with...I wish more psychiatrists were actually good at active listening, and weren't as reckless.

 

[Creeping Death]

I hear walkie-talkie chatter all the time and swear I always see similar cars follow me (American models, clean cut and square looking male drivers late 20s to early 40s). Sometimes I think I'm imagining their intentions and routines. If I am that mentally ill then it probably does no help staying up beyond 24 hours.

 

[moody]

I hear walkie-talkie chatter all the time and swear I always see similar cars follow me (American models, clean cut and square looking male drivers late 20s to early 40s). Sometimes I think I'm imagining their intentions and routines. If I am that mentally ill then it probably does no help staying up beyond 24 hours.

That’s what will happen when you’re sleep deprived. Your brain starts slipping into REM while your awake, and you start dreaming.

 

[Marbles]

I hear walkie-talkie chatter all the time and swear I always see similar cars follow me (American models, clean cut and square looking male drivers late 20s to early 40s). Sometimes I think I'm imagining their intentions and routines. If I am that mentally ill then it probably does no help staying up beyond 24 hours.

Could be good to talk to someone about that, mate... Sounds very stressful.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I think there is lot of irrational stuff about mental illness going on.
First of all its this idea that mental illness can be systematically classified and dealt with in certain way. While it might hold true to some cases each case has its own specifics.
Second its the stigma and people unwilling to talk about it.
Third its the idea that mental illness equals insanity.
Fourth that mentally ill people cant take responsability. Which is bad, because some mentally ill people really believe it and never take responsability for their actions.
FIth its the idea that mental illness is incurable, because some psychiatric paper said so.
Six that everything about mental illness bad. Narcissistic people have qualities that are also good. Its the bad qualities of narcissism that get attention. Psychopathic people are only seen from the moral focus, but not the other qualities, probs because thats what triggers most hate. Paranoia is seen as bad, but I know people who have these patterns and they can really pick up on things that other people just dont see. There are sometimes + sides to mental illness, its not all totally bad.

Management and social life. Most mental illness impairs social function of person. It can be depression and it can be anxiety, or anorexia or retardation or autism. People with mental illness are huge drag on society, but thats not, because it has to be that way, but its mostly like that, because people are allround superficial and happy ignoring other people. So when it comes to being a little helpful its a major calamity. EIther people try to help, but really have no skill and do the exact opposite or people plain and simple cant be bothered. People also worry about calling out people with mental problems. Kids are much more direct. They see something and they say what they think. You are gay, You are stupid, YOu are annoying as fuck etc. When people with mental illness go about their life people tip toe around it until it happens and they have a major breakdown and people saw it mile away, but now its too late.

There is also this thing that people have hard time establishing boundries be it in work or family and so on. SO its one sided. EIther the person gets away with bad behaviour or they get in situations where they are completely abused.
The less info there is about these things the less understanding the people are. I mean its not rocket science. Even introverts have trouble fitting in extrovert oriented societies. Its shame that so many societies cant handle differences of people.

 

[moody]

While it might hold true to some cases each case has its own specifics.

An accurate diagnosis is a professional and social tool--it allows someone to get the gist of what may be going on with a patient/colleague or friend, but not the specifics how the patient's experiences. Unfortunately, too many people ("professionals" included) have begun to look at a diagnosis as "the whole picture," when they've really just found the right frame.

Diagnosis have to be somewhat general, or they'd end up drawing too many conclusions about thousands of people based off symptoms of a small study group.

FIth its the idea that mental illness is incurable, because some psychiatric paper said so.

That depends. If it's a condition, then it is "incurable." The way your brain functions can't easily change--with treatment and intervention, you can learn to work with yourself in a way that you can achieve a quality life. But you're never going to opperate like the average Joe--why WOULD you want to be "Joe" anyway? The only thing better about being "Joe" is that you've never experienced undue stress based on the way society expects you to act and think.

but its mostly like that, because people are allround superficial and happy ignoring other people.

So painfully true. God forbid a panic attack causing someone to feel uncomfortable! The nerve!

EIther people try to help, but really have no skill and do the exact opposite or people plain and simple cant be bothered.

People like this don't really care, and they're only in it to make the situation more comfortable for themselves. It's too much to ask people to think and be properly considerate.

When people with mental illness go about their life people tip toe around it until it happens and they have a major breakdown and people saw it mile away, but now its too late.

Also painfully true...all because you don't want to inconvenience other people, and you're aware that it's you who has the problem. (I'm using a general you).

The less info there is about these things the less understanding the people are. I mean its not rocket science. Even introverts have trouble fitting in extrovert oriented societies. Its shame that so many societies cant handle differences of people.

It it were rocket science, more people would understand. Numbers never personally offended anyone. Unless you're a zealot in a cult.

I wish it were as simple as saying it's rocket science....

Joe: Hey Abernathy, why were you flipping out like a looney in lecture?

Abernathy: I was having an episode.

Joe nervous and awkward doesn't know what to say : Um ah but you're okay now?

Abernathy: pats Joe on the back : Don't worry Joe, you don't have to get it; like rocket science! Let the experts do their thing.

Joe: relieved Okay!

 

[Black Rose]

My mania causes me to have hallucinations and delusions. This year I was in the mental hospital for about 2 months. It began with me finding the solution to the universe, lots of posting. Then I was in my living room and I herd on the tv in the next room that Israel had been attacked and I panicked. I ran outside with my niece and saw Candyland everywhere. I was lucky the police stopped me. Things did not get better until week 3 when everything settled and I was normal almost. My brain was full of energy and I was running full throttle. I was a big problem for the hospital.

What kept me in was my strange thoughts about what was going on. I was panicking allot. I tried escaping 3 times. Or I made plans to. I thought a monster in the cafeteria was eating people. I had to make sense of what was happening to me and came up with some pretty crazy thoughts.

I did receive a creativity boost from my mania. I made a dragon from Perler beads in one go. I used the rainbow system I developed. It was perfect, no redos or mistakes in bead placement. I cannot make another one because I am inhibited. In my manic mode, I was uninhibited.

I made way to many posts on the forum at that time. I did not mean to invade other threads. I was communicating in a different way. And the edit tools would not let me delete my mistakes.

In the hospital, someone said I have autism.
I think this is true but it is a spectrum.
I do not know how it relates to my mania and hallucinations.

 

[Marbles]

In the hospital, someone said I have autism.
I think this is true but it is a spectrum.
I do not know how it relates to my mania and hallucinations.

I think I have somethinng called Sensory Processing Disorder. It means my mind has a hard time dealing with sensory input, and I get overwhelmed. For me the consequences of overstimuli have so far only been stress and depression, sometimes severe, but I hear Sensory Processing Disorder is common both in people with autism and psychosis. Do you have problems with bright lights, loud sounds, certain textures? If so, I can really recommend actively noise cancelling headsets and blue light blocking glasses. You can even get blocking glasses which look normal, now, and prescription if you have poor vision.

I am sorry you've had to go through that, AK. Take heart, modern research gives psychosis victims quite a good chance of remission! I have a friend suffering from schizophrenia. He is much better now, after a decade of severe illness. My advice to him has been to find as many conventional interests as possible. That makes it easier to socialise, which basically is to calibrate your mind to "healthy" society? It's so easy to get lost in abstract thought, it can overwhelm your mind. Explore an as empirical worldview as possible, and try to find pleasure in conventionality. If you need spirituality, find a mainstream religion and stick to it. I don't mean to trivialize your challenges with these suggestions, or presume to know you, but my friend says these advices have really helped him. He also says he's had great benefit from meditation!

 

[ZenRaiden]

An accurate diagnosis is a professional and social tool--it allows someone to get the gist of what may be going on with a patient/colleague or friend, but not the specifics how the patient's experiences. Unfortunately, too many people ("professionals" included) have begun to look at a diagnosis as "the whole picture," when they've really just found the right frame.

Diagnosis have to be somewhat general, or they'd end up drawing too many conclusions about thousands of people based off symptoms of a small study group.

Being professional is not about knowing all. Its about knowing your limitations. Thats the problem with professionals. Many cultures see them and trust them and the professionals are often prideful people too who put a lot of effort to have a badge of professional. So the expectations of people and drive of professionals to be problem solvers often leads to problems. Best professionals are those who constantly learn, because psychiatry is fast paced and everything in psychiatry is rather unstable. Many things in psychiatry are getting swept away with new waves of reasearch and experience. For example autism in my country is still rather unknown and mysterious. Although its been talked about the professionals in my country have rather different view of autism from the professionals I watched videos and read books from, who come from US or Australia etc.
Autism is present in all human populations. But accordingly you get most autistic people in countries with greatest number of experts on autism. Its difficult to diagnose.

That depends. If it's a condition, then it is "incurable." The way your brain functions can't easily change--with treatment and intervention, you can learn to work with yourself in a way that you can achieve a quality life. But you're never going to opperate like the average Joe--why WOULD you want to be "Joe" anyway? The only thing better about being "Joe" is that you've never experienced undue stress based on the way society expects you to act and think.

Yes its hard to talk about cure when we dont know anything about how the brain got the way it got. Pills are often used simply because they have been found to work some way, but even the mechanism how pills work is not completely understood. Its like in the early days when people knew about a plant that had anesthetic properties. They didnt have a clue why, all they knew is it worked. Who knows maybe 5 years from now they will have pills that can target specific parts of brain and simply treat the illness more directly or go even one step further and with single pill cure schizophrenia. Perhaps other way it might turn out that the brain simply deviates in developement and functioning and it really cant be changed and if you get it you have it for life. However I am more inclined towards the optimistic future.

People like this don't really care, and they're only in it to make the situation more comfortable for themselves. It's too much to ask people to think and be properly considerate.

Many psychiatric conditions impair empathy in return people feel less empathy towards those who suffer. I think the reaction to be repulsed by "crazy people" is rather natural, or even hardwired in people. It helps cut lose connections with those people who are likely to drag them down. Ostracize them and leave them to the wolfs. However in modern society having people in the streets creates rather economical loss rather than any benefit all. True in some instances "crazy people" can do damage. I think some fear of of mental illness is rational. Then again most cases are really benign it terms of their impact on other people if its handled with relative skill. Honestly problem is the way we get information about mental illness. There is more information out there about mental illness by those who have no education on the matter and cant even get the basic terminology right than those who actually can speak as authority on matters. For example recently I was talking to a guy and he confide in me that he suffers with anxiety. What bothered me the most is I could not really give him any advice on the matter. I read on the topic of anxiety a lot, but honestly the only thing I could do is really just sit there and wonder what words would really count in his case. What bothers me even more is that I my self had suffer a lot of anxiety through out life lol.

 

[Marbles]

For real, Zen. That pretty much sums it up.

 

[mr_darker]

I got (self diagnosed):
*Severe Social Anxiety Disorder (Main life issue)
*Chronic Anxious Atypical Major Depressive Disorder (Not constant, but monthly at minimum, episodes of decompensation, if not extreme bouts of it)

I was seemingly normal as a little kid, in elementary school at least, no memory of anything like this. Just at a family reunion of 10 years (in which i spoke to nobody) a family member mentioned that I used to be REALLY social when I was little. Was an extrovert even, hardcore.

Then about 6th grade is when it all started to set in, and that's the time my father says that "you lost your smile". My theory is that bad behaviors, misfortunes, and bad ways that I decided to try and cope, made things worse over the years, as my young brain is developing, and over the years it got worse until about high school where it had reached a point where I would consider it a full fledged disorder (wired into your brain), and it got both worse and better in ways by 12th grade. However I had my worse symptoms ever in 12th grade sharing a few sentences of a news story, had a panic or anxiety attack for the first time (havne't since then) where I literally couldn't breathe and everything.

My thory is there's a bunch of contributing factors, but it all sums up to I was allowed to be extremely weird in elementary school, possibly developmentally delayed. Curdoroy overalls, big white bowl cut til like 5th grade or so lol, suuuuuper innocent outgoing and kinda obnoxious attitude (but i was a kid, whos not obnoxious). I believe that about 6th grade is when I began to be self aware, and just sorta stopped talking, converted from an extrovert to an introvert. Got worse over the years, constistently. Friends I had in 6th and/or 8th grade, that I saw in 12th grade, I'd sit by them and be unable to talk to them anymore, one acutally said "Y U No funny anymore?".

I remember thinking emotions were a weakness and trying to get rid of them, and remember thinking it was a bad idea and flipping into trying to undo repression of emotions.

Wasn't til about 11th grade that I randomly though hey, if i can't make a friend (I have one retained from kindergarden) how will I ever get a girlfriend? Ima die alone :O So I decide that I ought to start trying to date people (no urge to do so, just some "dont wanna die alone" deal xD). So, first thing I do is hit up this girl, extremely attractive (was such an idiot to ignore), been obsessed with me and chasing me since 6th grade, about 6 years, even gave her a chance back in 6th grade but broke up with her (over runescape lmao) because I wasn't into girls yet and it was just weird for me. She's all super excited, and it really doesn't take hanging out very long for me to fall head over heels, idk maybe just seeing someone being so nice to me, on top of a new social connection, on top of general biological attraction/feels towards females, but it was EXTREME. Struggled talking to her still, was told talking to me is like talking to a brick wall xD But made a bit of progress if i remember. Anyways, experiencing the emotion "love" (emphasis on the word 'emotion'), sorta reached around the wall of repression i had up around my emotions, a weak point where there was no wall since I didn't know love when I had repressed emotions, it reached around the wall and pulled all the other emotions through in full force :OOOO WOAH. Recepie for disaster. Anyways, meaning of life became her lol. Would walk 4 hours to school some days when i had no ride, not to make it to school, but to see her in ceramics & history class. And history class, in 12th grade, is when I had that panic/anxiety attack from sharing a news story. I had shared news stories many times in that class with struggles, but never that extreme, and I actually figured out what was different then (and in other cases of extremes) is SHE was right there, right next to me. When I like someone, they amplify all my emotions, including symptoms of my disorder. Things never worked out with this girl though, she turned out to have a fiance deployed in japan, a few other boyfriends, and god knows what else. Plus, being so socially impaired, can't really last too long anyways. First time ever really being pissed at someone. At the time she was responsible for the most extreme of all emotions ive ever felt, even experienced tears of joy during prom :O But it was a ton of bs.

Anyways, was hooked on experiencing "love" at this point, became a sort of life goal/purpose, alongside learning to just talk/connect with people (always imagined the "a whole new world" song playing when I finally do xD). Found a new girlfriend, was one of them not like the picture situations, but figured i'd give it a shot and not be an asshole. But ended up wasting 4 years of both lives trying to be "nice". Still, was the first person I could ever talk to entirely unrestricted, didn't know why, but, was nice, and really made me forget I had a disorder even, she didn't believe me til about a year in, she'd always say to others "idk what you mean saying he's quiet, I can't get him to shut up!". Anyways that relationship finally I ended up cutting off.

2nd one, was actually attracted to her, initially thought I liked her personality too but didn't so cut that one off eventually too. Could talk to her too a bit, maybe not fully but I'd say on a normal level for sure.

Left her realizing that even 2 years later I can't stop thinking about the girl I'm with right now (who i previously met only 2 months online and 3 days in person, so didn't mention yet). This girl, I struggled to talk to for a long time. First night in bed I'm laying there petting her dogs to avoid pressure of what should and shouldn't i do. She's made it very clear she's into me and such, but due to the anxiety disorder it's like there's no possible way she's into me lol. So she's laying there falling asleep disappointed, I try n initiate cuddling, figuring i'm damned if I don't do anything, and only 'probably' damned if I do do something. Powered through great mental inhibiton and discomfort, and just tested the waters, placed a hand on her back. INSTANTLY FROZEN, same exact feeling I had once before during a 200 foot freefall extreme amusement ride. Was expecting something like the exorcist where her hed snaps back and she's screaming and i done fucked up n get out never come back. About 10 seconds finally fades away and I'm like ........ :O nothing happened........ Then begin cuddling. Then she moves n wakes up a little about 5 mintues into it and I panic mentally thinking "oh god she was asleep, didn't consent, im a rapist!" and retreat for the night lol. Keep in mind she lured me over with nudes n was all like get in my bed xD and im wondering if she wants me to leave. Anyways, theory is it's such a great loss to me if i mess up, so anxiety is spiked knowing that pretty guaranteed screwups are gonna hold extreme consequences, and trying too hard to avoid making mistakes, to the point I do nothing, say nothing, etc.

Anyways, she's got BPD and I've survived being sparta kicked in the face outta her life twice now, finally recognizing the 2nd time why it was happening and what to look out for so here's to hoping things remain going well in the future.

As far as jobs though, prettymuch every job out there requires a basic level of verbal communication that I don't have. It's extremely hard to find jobs i'm compatible with. Unskilled jobs are primarily customer service (above my ability, I can't pretend I like you, or even let you know I like you), skilled jobs like embedded electronics (my top skill) engineering requires a lotta detailed verbal communication and coordination that I imagine isn't doable and would be an issue that gets me fired. Trying to learn programming to compliment my electronics skills & land a skilled job in a career field that is decently used to dealing with similar people (it's a job listed as good for autistic people too). Was trying to apply for disability for some time, was unable to make the phone calls to do so. Was unable to ask to see a counselor back in middle/high school too, due to the disorder. Finally found a unicorn job, basically no duties at all, night shift so rarely anyone to talk to and few words when you do talk, not too personal, usually when they do get personal, the correct response is to ignore, so amazing. Can work on programming n get paid for it even. So lucky there, was feeling like I had no future for about 2 years straight and starting to go off the deep end of depression with unemployment n such, even with girlfriend, it was like how long can being with her possibly last if I can't get a job and all this stuff. BUT got a job now and its great, finally great, and expected to get better.

The disorder though, is nicknamed "the disorder of lost opportunities" because anxiety gets in the way of you siezing the moment, just about every moment there is. I always say that "life" is the opportunity that is missed, and will continue being missed unless I get over it somehow. Have consulted with bhuddist monks from the order of the interbeing. I figured the guy i was talking to was from the organization that Thich Quang Dirch, or however u spell it, the flaming monk, guy who burned himself alive without flinching, figured they knew meditation stuff like that which helps you tap into controls of your body not usually/naturally had, and it'd be my best option for trying meditation in order to help things. Failed to research enough about burning alive though, a bit too excited for it to go well lol, apparently your nerves are burned away pretty quick and burning alive quickly becomes painless if hot enough, and you die pretty quick too. Still it's impressive to not flinch. I also had an experience where I had accidentally repressed the ability to feel "sad" for about a year, and felt that the way I did it is likely similar to meditation. So had a bit of a bias. Never really got into things, the monk just wanted money lol. But my theory has been that anxiety is fear based, i have a fear based disorder, yet I never conciously feel fear or think anxious thoughts (usually dont). So if I could repress one emotion (which was bad, and able to be undone with strong enough sad stimuli repeated enough), maybe I could repress fear instead? Only way I know to induce fear is heights, so dangle myself off a cliff to bring the emotion to my consciousness in full force, and then "meditate" like before, except practice beforehand so I'd not be left hanging and possibly get used to hights before successfully meditating. But with sadness, I remember describing it like i mentally detatched from myself, had an "aerial view" of my conciousness, separate from it, and mentally PUSHED the sad thoughts out since they made absolutely no sense. By doing that, I learned how it felt to just be able to will sadness out of your head, and do so without meditating. Maybe this is normal? But after doing this enough times, getting sad, and just getting rid of the sadness (often out of fear of showing sadness), I began getting sad less and less often until I just stopped becoming sad one day, for over a year. Took my grandpa dying (almost wasn't enough) to finally break that wall down and finally feel sad again, which just suddenly broke out and literally soaked the front of my shirt in tears, after 3/4 of the day being unfeeling about any of it, and a year of other stuff not bringing sadness that previously used to. Anyways, fear though, never got around to trying it, but if I practiced meditation and got good at getting to that "aerial view" of my conciousness, as a separate entity, I'd go test it out, dangle off a cliff to induce fear that is clear and easy to concentrate on casting out of my mind, and, hopefully learning how it feels therefore how to do it at will any time I feel fear, theoretically, I'd be able to do so any time I got strong enough anxiety, and if I make a point to induce strong anxiety intentionally, I can repeat the outcasing enough, that it eventally doesn't come back. Repressing sadnness was a bad idea, it's actually a positive response to "bad" lol, you still feel bad/hollow/rotten, just not sad and more importantly, none of the happiness that sadness brings. Can't really imagine fear being a bad thing to repress, but figure it's worth risking, sadness came back too. Idk. Interesting thing I like to share, can't find shit about it online except theoretical psycology stuff about conciousness being able to split in two and such. Also pot has shown promise in helping me talk more, but I still need to approach it scientifically and confirm it does, as it's hard to get a decent dose that doesn't leave you unable to think. Also going to a Psyciatrist eventually, gonna find one that specializes and knows what they're doing, has a background in neroscience as well as anxiety disorders n such. At the same time, I've been trying for all my life to get over it, and I don't really go out of my way to fix it anymore since it's unlikely I do fix it, and I can spend the rest of my life trying, or instead focus on more productive things. One big issue being that I don't ever have fun, so, making a point to stop doing work in my free time and do fun things. I'm sure I've got other issues on the side, but anxiety is the main thing, and main contributor to other issues I got. A new thing I've been wondering about, is if I just have "learned helpelessness" and no "disorder". I'd be so pissed with myself lol, but happy too.

As far as sharing disorders goes or talking about it, in my experience, not one person has understood. And most make a lot of assumptions like you're some pos faking it or it's some illusion you think you got but dont. Some think it's some attention seeking ploy or an a ttempt to feel special, or you're trying to brag, etc. Buncha fuckin' idiots, best to just not waste time, only one who can help me is me, nobody else needs to know, unless it's a boss that's gonna be like wtf, or just talking about mental stuff for lulz. Side note, talking online, it's hard not to hit word limits, in person, hard to hit the minimum word requirement. End up writing novels on accident, such as this one, i'd say it's a partial novel tho. Tried to keep it short

 

[moody]

believe that about 6th grade is when I began to be self aware, and just sorta stopped talking, converted from an extrovert to an introvert

Can you think of any events that may have triggered this?

Something similar happened with me, but at a much younger age. I was never outgoing, but I was very smiley, and happy until age four. According to one of my parents, it was as if a light had switched and I was always angry. For me, I know this had to do with my awareness of the dynamics at home, and realizing the lack of control I had over my own safety.

I know I had a few bad experiences at school from demeaning teachers; I think the combination of the insecurity I felt at home and the snide/negative comments I got from teachers made me learn to deal with being screamed at by disassociating and shutting down.

I'm not exactly the same as you, but I can relate to a lot of what you've said... but I have a hard time responding to people. It's sometimes feels as though I get trapped within myself, and my body won't allow me to respond, and if I force myself to respond: I have a panic attack. It's infuriating, because I'm THERE but I get completely unresponsive.

I know 6th grade is often when kids become their nastiest. Do you think there was a build-up of peer pressures, or off-handed comments, that made your self-worth just crack?

So, first thing I do is hit up this girl, extremely attractive

From what you described of yourself, being able to do that is actually a big deal. It's an accomplishment to be able to ask someone out (in my book, and from what you've described).

she turned out to have a fiance deployed in japan, a few other boyfriends, and god knows what else

WFT? That is so freaking weird.

but it was a ton of bs.

I wouldn't know about that. Sure, they didn't feel the same what about you as you did about them, but you have to enjoy being with someone to spend that much time with them (like going to prom). Just because your not being magnanimous doesn't mean you don't give a crap about the people you date.

I don't see it as never enjoying and caring about someone, but rather a dishonesty, inconsiderate, shitty move.

theory is it's such a great loss to me if i mess up, so anxiety is spiked knowing that pretty guaranteed screwups are gonna hold extreme consequences, and trying too hard to avoid making mistakes, to the point I do nothing, say nothing, etc.

Here is the connundrum of the "procrastinating perfectionist."
You care about something so much that you put it off...because you doubt whether you can make it as good as it NEEDS to be, so you stress and stress, and time goes by and you hate yourself more with each passing moment...until the last moment where you HAVE to it, so by the end you can appease yourself/forgive your mistakes by thinking, "This was the best I could do with the time I had." OR you miss the opportunity and, and get the sole consolation of never having the chance to botch it.

This is a REALLY good reason to find the right psychiatrist...this sounds a lot like OCD. I know, you know yourself better than I do (and I'm not assuming anything about you or trying to "diagnose you--just pointing out that a second opinion of a professional could really give you some help with consolidating coping/management strategies).

Without some more guidance, you're steering your life blindly. It's hard to acknowledge that you deserve some guidance with finding ways to manage your daily routine/life, but it really does wonders for your self-confidence to have validation on what you need to do for yourself so you can navigate your life without an unhealthy amount of stress.

Also going to a Psyciatrist eventually, gonna find one that specializes and knows what they're doing, has a background in neroscience as well as anxiety disorders n such. At the same time, I've been trying for all my life to get over it, and I don't really go out of my way to fix it anymore since it's unlikely I do fix it, and I can spend the rest of my life trying, or instead focus on more productive things

It's really hard to find people to relate to when you're particular problem compromises communication. If you have a hard time communicating in person what exactly you struggle with, how do you expect anyone else with the same problem to be able to do the same?

While you know yourself better than anyone else, you may not have a concise understanding of psychiatric(s) to be able to best advice yourself.

It's very possible you may have an imbalance of neurochemicals, which means you could be insurmountably helped by the addition of a small dosage of medicine.

For years I was completely unaware of the symptoms I had, thinking they were "just me." But even little, tiny problems can build up and make someone look crazy when they possibly only had a gluten imbalance all along (this isn't just being pulled out of my butt--misdiagnosed glutton intolerances make people appear as though they have schizophrenia).

I actually ended up having an autoimmune disorder that (untreated) mimics the neurochemical imbalances of OCD, and made me feel like I had PTSD all the time. I didn't understand any of what I felt or experienced at all, because none of it lines up with how I was thinking and what I wanted. I didn't relate to anyone because of this, as it didn't affect my views of reality and life, but rather made be feel like my feelings, wakefulness and reactions were completely separate from what I thought and I had no ability to express that. Like I'm a bystander to my life.

(Some fun facts about OCD: it is the most impairing disorder a person can have, moreso than blindness or deafness. OCD individuals will know an impulse or feeling they have is unreasonable, but they can't do anything about changing the way they feel. This wrecks havoc on feelings of self-worth, which is why it can be excruciatingly hard for someone to recognize and why they're the most misunderstood condition.)

One big issue being that I don't ever have fun, so, making a point to stop doing work in my free time and do fun things. I'm sure I've got other issues on the side, but anxiety is the main thing, and main contributor to other issues I got. A new thing I've been wondering about, is if I just have "learned helpelessness" and no "disorder". I'd be so pissed with myself lol, but happy too.

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. There's no reason to do so. It doesn't seem as though you've got learned helplessness, if it's a

most make a lot of assumptions like you're some pos faking it or it's some illusion you think you got but dont. Some think it's some attention seeking ploy or an a ttempt to feel special, or you're trying to brag, etc. Buncha fuckin' idiots, best to just not waste time, only one who can help me is me, nobody else needs to know, unless it's a boss that's gonna be like wtf, or just talking about mental stuff for lulz. Side note, talking online, it's hard not to hit word limits, in person, hard to hit the minimum word requirement. End up writing novels on accident, such as this one, i'd say it's a partial novel tho. Tried to keep it short

It's exhausting to try and explain yourself to people when most of your energy is directed towards managing your condition and your schedule. You're right, you don't owe anyone anything, and misunderstanding bosses are the worst...

I also write novels. It's okay, just means less people will read your posts XD

 

[Kormak]

interesting..
I have no mental issues lol. Used to be depressive and full of anger when I was a teenager... I swear I used to think I was INFP... but that passed once I thit age 25 and since then I have been emotionally really stable shrug . Idid get a full asessment back in the day from a psychologist. She told me I'm normal outside of self isolation due to not finding ppl who can understand me. According to her I have very high IQ and thats the problem e_e, but I know MANY ppl who are substantially more intelligent than me and we still fail to connect.

The last person I tried it with was another INTP... but I think he was autistic, very focused on a singular topic & incapable of understanding that other people don't fuinction the way his Ti was telling him... therfore they would never be receptive to a complex theoretical system for ethical guidance. Its a shitty situation when 2 INTPs who are prone to isolation just pass eachother by like that, not without some significant exchange of Ti-Ne deraived wisdom sharing tho. That was useful, learned a lot.

hm... come to thik of it I had an IQ 146 INTJ aquaintence.. I wonder if he became an alkoholic because of this. Shit..

 

[mr_darker]

Can you think of any events that may have triggered this?
...
Do you think there was a build-up of peer pressures, or off-handed comments, that made your self-worth just crack?

I can think of a lot of elements, none of which by themselves would result in it. Like in 5th grade, convinced my dad to buy a computer, and so began the waste of countless hours playing runescape, literally like all I'd do day after day, after school, in middle school anyways. That's probably part of why I'm 100% fine talking via text.
There's a lot of small factors I think might be partially responsible. Best friend I'd see daily, moved away one day, in elementary school, next friend I was banned from seeing by my mom because his dad was a sex offender. So I resort to my brother's best friend which I sorta just tagged along with more frequently, some weird jehova's whitness/crazy-family (both sides) feud ended up with a family on family restraining order so bam hes gone too lol. My mom would dress me up weird (curdory overalls and white bowl cut like i mentioned) and allow weird things that i didn't know any better for lol. I remember going to some 5th grade earth day parade dressed up in a full on daisy suit, like hell yeah im a flower! Then going home with "FLOWER BOY!" echoing in my head lol. Nothing really bad about that day stuck, it's just an example of the kind of weird things there ought to be a Hank Hill father not letting his Bobby-Hill/Flapjack son go out and do lol. I don't really think it's a factor but parents were divorced n stuff, remember one day my mom calling the cops and them literally dragging my dad outta my bedroom (in a house he bought) and curling up in a ball behind the rocking chair crying, and my best friend (elementary school one that moved away) was just like "im.......... gonna go home now......" lol. Then I went outside with chalk n wrote "Dad" "I miss you" and stuff like that on allllllllllll the sidewalk squares around the block lol, which my dad still remembers. Idk, I guess that might be traumatic to a kid? Never really thought of it, but idk, too many small factors to really list. No single one really stands out to me though. For me it's all prettmuch subliminal, so probably hard to tell if something actually affected me, like a therapist might have an easier time telling if something "shook" me, than I would. I feel like just being weird as hell, then suddenly becoming self aware about it, was a tipping/triggering point. I'd not shower for some reason back around 6th grade, family would tell me I stink, I'd laugh about it, then one day standing in line in shop class I remember seeing some girls face grimace and she said "WHAT..... STIIINKS???" xD and I immidiately knew it was me, but it was like... a surprise somehow, as if I had just learned this. Moved to the back of the line, and then some few feet further back so nobody would smell me lol. After that day I started showering daily instead of weekly, started paying attention to hygiene. In general though, seemed to have little to no self-awareness prior to 6th grade, so probably gave a sorta strong negative impression on peers initially, which sorta aided development by the way it caused people to view me and in turn, treat me. Thats a theory anyways. I know for a fact though that at least some people thought I was special ed or something like that. Others thought I was scary. Others thought I was normal, just some guy they don't talk to. So idk, it's kinda hard to tell if i was developmentally delayed in early middle school because you can't really tell if the few memories you have, are normal for that age. I do remember a middle school foreign language class teacher asking peers "is he normally like this?" (on me being so quiet) and someone says with a sorta wide eyed expression "ohhh you shoulda seen him in elementary school".

I remember in middle school though, doing tests on my ability to talk. I'd try walking from my house (where I can talk) to the bus stop (where i can't talk) all while talking the whole time. Days that there were kids waiting, the volume that my voice was inhibited to gradually went down as I got more and more within earshot. It was based on perception of them being able to hear. On days there were no kids, you'd just walk on the bus and BAM, was like witchcraft, magic, how sudden, instant, and drastic the change from able to talk to dead silent was. That was actually when I started believing in mental disorders (like most boomers don't) and not just thinking "maybe I'm stupid" lol.

being able to do that is actually a big deal

Was over text, had denied her dozens of times, technically went on a date with her like 5 years prior. And was just re-responding to an invitation to a school dance. Was a weird but lucky thing i guess, like most people don't have some girl obsess? And I wasted it lol. Also wasted being asked out early middle school by some girl, technically her friends asked for her, I'm walking with some group of people that at that time let me sit with them (i'd do funny things back then), and in a mix of having no desire for a girlfriend, and not knowing how to respond, I just say "RUN!" xD but I still feel bad looking back because as I pass her I remember hearing her say to a friend by her "oh see now hes running." lol. Friends were all laughing their asses off, pretty sure I didn't really realize that I was only there to be laughed at. I'd make it a point to see how many lunches I could sneak past the lunch ladies every day too lol, so that got me a seat at the table as well. I think 15 meals was my record, finally stopped when a lunch lady saw me slip a hamburger in my sleeve, got searched, didn't find anything because we only search pockets I guess, but, wasn't about to get in trouble for stealing. Rarely ate the food btw lol, they had rag buckets for washing tables, would always take a rag, pretend to wash tables, wrap up a burger or three, doused in nastiness, inside the rag, and just bring the rag back to the bucket of soapy water xD I got caught for something about once a year.

WFT? That is so freaking weird.

Yeah.... she liked them boys. Last I checked she was actually married to the guy tho. All other boyfriends were boy-toys and/or to use their car or them in some way. Ironically, started talking to the restraining ordered friend again through her, she was leading him on in order to get his car and rides everywhere, happened to be going with one day and bam there he is, hadn't seen him since elementary school.

Here is the connundrum of the "procrastinating perfectionist."

FML

This is a REALLY good reason to find the right psychiatrist

Yeah I'm getting around to it once life is less crazy, was in a homeless shelter like a month or so ago, yet, with a new job, so was like lifes hit rock bottom (for bigger reasons, on top of laying in a homeless shelter), but the future was looking better than ever all at the same time due to the new job and it mening I'm finally gonna break the 2 year unemployment streak and be able to start fixing life. Kinda worried they (psyciatrist) diagnose me with something that gets rid of gun rights though. That'd be a no go.

I actually ended up having an autoimmune disorder that (untreated) mimics the neurochemical imbalances of OCD, and made me feel like I had PTSD all the time. I didn't understand any of what I felt or experienced at all, because none of it lines up with how I was thinking and what I wanted. I didn't relate to anyone because of this, as it didn't affect my views of reality and life, but rather made be feel like my feelings, wakefulness and reactions were completely separate from what I thought and I had no ability to express that. Like I'm a bystander to my life.

:OOOOOO I've described my disorder like being stuck inside your mind, watching life go by on a giant TV screen (eyes clamped open like the robot chicken intro), but some idiots at the controls and you can't do anything but watch him screw everything up, even the simplest of things handed to you on a silver platter. Where the simpler the thing is you can't do, and the greater the reward (aka loss) is for being successful in those actions, the more it manages to get to you. Reactions/emotions/behaviors entirely different than what you think. Some actually notice small inconsitencies like "darker scares me, he's shy and quiet, but he'll look you dead in the eye". Or "If you get him alone, he'll talk more, but nobody will believe you". xD
As for autoimmune disorders, I never really considered something like that, thank you for mentioning it.

I also write novels

Ever hit the word limit 5 times in a facebook messenger? xD I think I stopped writing HUUUUUGE messages once I started making a point to stop. Otherwise I'd literally have to stop typing because 6 hours have gone by. Then your phone crashes or you switch apps to check something, come back and it's all gone. You gotta retype it all, 8 more hours, then you delete half of it, then just decide to send like 5 words. Usually when tired I get wordy, also depressed if really tired.


I find that a major issue with me communicating with others, is I just really don't think of things to say, or ask. I go on omegle or something (great place right?) and try and have a convo with someone, and it's like whelp...... idk what do people talk about. Only really seem to know what to say if talking about myself, which I can't do in person at all (anything remotely personal, even sharing a favorite color, or making a non-logic-based decision used to be pretty hard for me), plus nobody really cares THAT much to listen very long. Except girlfriends (unless they're new and I actually like them a LOT), idk, I seem to have an easier time with them, my theory on that is that they're there for things much more than friends, or open to it, so there are far less lines that you can accidentally cross or overstep on, accidentally. Like how much you talk to someone, don't gotta worry about seeming too interested in someone if you're dating them. Well you do a little but not like some random stranger you met.
Cant really think of things to talk about in person with most people though. Like I enjoy bringing my friend around my dad/family because he starts talking to them and I get to listen, hear stories I've never heard, and family and stuff talk like I'd never really hear them talk if it were me talking to them (because idk wtf to say). So no offense to anyone if I just seem to ignore what's said and just instead change the topic to me, I usually do read everything, just always respond to everything said.

I still need tools and such to do proper experiments with controlled dosages, but recently started trying pot when I got outta the army like 1.5 years ago, and one day noticed that it seemed like I both thought of things to say to people who talked to me, had things come to mind to say to people even when they weren't talking to me, AND felt as if I could say said things if I just made the effort (seemed like it was just habit of not talking, stopping me at that point). Also noticed relatively recently that I am indeed more wordy to the girlfriend when high. Felt like what I was saying was stupid though, probably was. But I feel like the more I take, the more I just sorta puke out words without analyzing them, eventually being so out of it that I don't know if im imagining that im talking, or actually talking, and if the conversation that may or may not be going on, is in the past, present, or future. Pretty sure I have conversations, intelligently, somehow, while mentally/concioiusly absent completely unaware of what im saying or what the topic is, and just wondering if im talking lol. Need dosage & content control to see if it helps. On the other hand, last time I was on the pot, was at a bar with best friend, his friend, and his other female friend. She comes over buys us shots (shes always nice to me which is cool, actually thanked her for all the niceness lol) hands me a 20 dollar bill and is like "will you go buy my drinks? I don't want him to think im an alcoholic." I just sit there staring at the 20 dolalr bill for a while, wondering if i can make it to the bartender, and still remember what im doing if i make it there, like it's a whole different world over there can i journey all that way and make it back? And what about the bartender lol, struggle talking as is, am i capable of ordering? Stood there thinking about it, staring at this 20 dollar bill, til its my turn in pool (had to quit pool, was too out of it, they had to remind me every time it was my turn, sometimes multiple reminders), hand it back to her without saying a word (my ticket out of it!) and go back to pool lol. "Is he okay? He's weirder/quieter than usual" xD

 

[anthropophagolagnia]

I'm not a psycho because i don't care enough about people to manipulate them

 

[moody]

I don't really think it's a factor but parents were divorced n stuff, remember one day my mom calling the cops and them literally dragging my dad outta my bedroom (in a house he bought) and curling up in a ball behind the rocking chair crying, and my best friend (elementary school one that moved away) was just like "im.......... gonna go home now......" lol. Then I went outside with chalk n wrote "Dad" "I miss you" and stuff like that on allllllllllll the sidewalk squares around the block lol, which my dad still remembers. Idk, I guess that might be traumatic to a kid? Never really thought of it, but idk, too many small factors to really list. No single one really stands out to me though.

As a kid, we haven't learned yet to emotionally process and respond to new situations, and sometimes we just kind of end up detaching instead. Your parents divorcing and one leaving changes your environment drastically, and a kid doesn't have enough experience to know how to feel about the new situation. When the kid already knows it would be pointless to act out, yet he/she doesn't know how to be sad/if you should be sad, the kid is likely to dissociate themselves from the situation instead.

I'm no childhood psychologist, but this is what I've surmised based on my own experiences and the psychology classes I have taken.

I understand when you put this as, "I don't think this affected me, but..."
I have a few very distinct memories my my childhood where something unusual happened to me, yet I didn't categorize those instances as bad or traumatizing at all. I think the fact that I can now recall them so starkly means that those instances did somewhat traumatize me, but I didn't know how to process them at the time and dissociated them.
For example, I had a somewhat insecure home life as a child because my parents had a dysfunctional relationship, one of which was a highly-functioning-alcoholic. One night when my father was sleep walking/really out it it, he came into my room, stood over my bed and began to unbuckle his belt. I was frozen, the bulk of my concerns centered around doing anything I could not to embarrass or mortify my father if he figured out what he was doing. I was already planning on what to do after he left with my bedding, and how to go back to sleep, all without either or my parents finding out. Luckily, my mother walked into my room before anything truly traumatizing happened, and told him that he wasn't in the bathroom. He didn't believe her, so she had to physically guide him out.
I never thought of this as a traumatizing instant until a couple years ago, when I was talking a psychology class and I was reading a chapter that had to do with trauma and child psychology.

I think we learn to deal with problems by dissociating if we do so as kids. I know that I refused to show any kind of discomfort, sadness, or happiness to other people because, in my child-mind, that would give them fuel to criticism, put me down, or hurt me if they so wanted to. I never "felt" sad or upset, because this drive never let me process things that way. Any new situation that had the potential to make me feel bad, I went through a process of ethical reasoning on if I truly deserved to feel bad or not. My environment didn't make me feel unconditionally secure, so these were manipulative coping mechanisms I learned to deal with my situation.

It's these coping mechanisms we learn as children that set the premise for how we emotionally process and respond to different situations as adults. I believe that is why "trauma" will be different from person to person, and what is "traumatizing" isn't so easily defined.

I'd not shower for some reason back around 6th grade, family would tell me I stink, I'd laugh about it, then one day standing in line in shop class I remember seeing some girls face grimace and she said "WHAT..... STIIINKS???" xD and I immidiately knew it was me, but it was like... a surprise somehow, as if I had just learned this. Moved to the back of the line, and then some few feet further back so nobody would smell me lol. After that day I started showering daily instead of weekly, started paying attention to hygiene.

Ah yes, 6th grade....its like the terrible twos, times 10! Kids are so awful in 6th grade. I knew other kids who didn't yet learn they had to start taking better care of their bodily odors. For me I learned early (as I hated washing my hair in 2nd grade and it didn't ever look greasy, but someone told me very nicely that they thought my hair smelled and I too was so mortified that I made sure it never happened again). I also had an older sibling who I learned from. Other kids who were the oldest or only children didn't have that example at home on when to start personal upkeep, and were often the ones to have more problems.

I'd also consider this a somewhat traumatizing event, since you seem to be an individual sensitive to your effects on other people. That is a good thing; you won't ever be as inconsiderate as a lot of people.

In general though, seemed to have little to no self-awareness prior to 6th grade, so probably gave a sorta strong negative impression on peers initially, which sorta aided development by the way it caused people to view me and in turn, treat me. Thats a theory anyways. I know for a fact though that at least some people thought I was special ed or something like that. Others thought I was scary. Others thought I was normal, just some guy they don't talk to. So idk, it's kinda hard to tell if i was developmentally delayed in early middle school because you can't really tell if the few memories you have, are normal for that age.

I think your theory is sound. You're absolutely right; we tend to be our own standards for normal. All the time, I still find nuances that differentiate something of my childhood from that of others. We can get a pretty good idea how own childhood compairs to another's, but we can get an idea based on talking to other people.

On days there were no kids, you'd just walk on the bus and BAM, was like witchcraft, magic, how sudden, instant, and drastic the change from able to talk to dead silent was. That was actually when I started believing in mental disorders (like most boomers don't) and not just thinking "maybe I'm stupid" lol.

The bus was undoubtedly a physical manifestation of what gave you anxiety. From what you said on the way you were treated in 6th grade, it seems as though all places associated with school and that feeling of being "the weird kid" became of giant source of anxiety/insecurity.

Kinda worried they (psyciatrist) diagnose me with something that gets rid of gun rights though. That'd be a no go.

I really don't think that should be your biggest concern here. Unless you have a history of threatening yourself or others, I don't think that would even be an issue. The laws are too lax on gun rights for it to be a problem.

:OOOOOO I've described my disorder like being stuck inside your mind, watching life go by on a giant TV screen (eyes clamped open like the robot chicken intro), but some idiots at the controls and you can't do anything but watch him screw everything up, even the simplest of things handed to you on a silver platter. Where the simpler the thing is you can't do, and the greater the reward (aka loss) is for being successful in those actions, the more it manages to get to you. Reactions/emotions/behaviors entirely different than what you think. Some actually notice small inconsitencies like "darker scares me, he's shy and quiet, but he'll look you dead in the eye". Or "If you get him alone, he'll talk more, but nobody will believe you". xD
As for autoimmune disorders, I never really considered something like that, thank you for mentioning it.

I'm not quite as bad as you when it comes to being normal to other people; people can rarely ever tell if I'm upset when I don't want them to, or if I'm happen. I engage easily in conversations most of the time, and have been able to hide when I happen to start panicking very well.
I used myself as an example that you never know what could be wrong until you start really looking at all possible causes.

Ever hit the word limit 5 times in a facebook messenger? xD I think I stopped writing HUUUUUGE messages once I started making a point to stop. Otherwise I'd literally have to stop typing because 6 hours have gone by. Then your phone crashes or you switch apps to check something, come back and it's all gone. You gotta retype it all, 8 more hours, then you delete half of it, then just decide to send like 5 words. Usually when tired I get wordy, also depressed if really tired.

I just don't engage in FB, other than to be FB friends with professionals and keep an eye on what they're doing. People are animals on there. I use FB messenger to communicate professionally too, but not otherwise.

my theory on that is that they're there for things much more than friends, or open to it, so there are far less lines that you can accidentally cross or overstep on, accidentally. Like how much you talk to someone, don't gotta worry about seeming too interested in someone if you're dating them. Well you do a little but not like some random stranger you met.

I understand this. The "girlfriend" has the associated connotation of a person who you're supposed to engage in feelings with, whereas it's considered weird to be too emotional with your friends. I actually have to stop myself from doing nice things for my friends because of this...a few times when I was too nice, one of them got the wrong idea and clarified that they're not homosexual. Which was highly offensive, and lets just say they don't have to worry about me going out of my way for them any-longer. (They're kind of basic).

 

[Socks and Shoes]

Nothing formally diagnosed, but I am sure I am on the spectrum with depression, anxiety, anti-social and add. I can be grandiose and manic at times

Like a good number of INTPs, I struggle with feelings

Prob a few more. I'm pretty chill and work with what I got. I think all of those traits actually have positive effects in my life, too

 

[Puffy]

Historically, I've had a lot of anxiety triggers but I've never experienced depression much in any kind of debilitating way tbh. I'm hyper self-aware which has tended me towards perfectionism, self-punishment, self-doubt, and difficulty voicing myself. I can be high in control which causes emotional dissociation and difficulty connecting with my body and emotions. And I'd say I've relied on isolation too much.

At the same time I've been going to therapy for 2 years and I've never been "diagnosed" with anything despite asking many times. I'm inclined towards thinking I don't have any disorders just unhealthy coping strategies from childhood that I've been overly identified with and that I'm doing a good job of gradually undoing.

These symptoms still exist but the amount they've improved in 2 years is pretty significant with a lot of work. I don't know if it's the case, depending on the condition, that when things get ingrained enough that they become irreversible, but at least in my case I do believe that re-wiring to a healthy level of functioning is possible. And desirable with all the intent of my being.

It's interesting being self-aware of family dynamics. It's kind of like my issues are a combination of my Mum and Dad's issues but as a milder version of each. My Dad is far more of a loner and higher in control than me. My Mum's levels of self-punishment and anxiety are more severe than mine.

I'm a very highly empathic person so I do often wonder if a lot of what I experience is "stuff" I've absorbed and become identified with from my parents that's not actually mine. These days if I feel anxiety I tend to say "Hey Mum, how you doing?" or if I feel control I say "Hey Dad, how you doing?" to test this hypothesis.

 

[moody]

I'm hyper self-aware which has tended me towards perfectionism, self-punishment, self-doubt, and difficulty voicing myself. I can be high in control which causes emotional dissociation and difficulty connecting with my body and emotions. And I'd say I've relied on isolation too much.

I can relate to that. I think it's definitely good to take yourself out of your comfort zone, but also respect your limits. If you respond to what you need as it comes, you might get better at managing anxiety. You can try to trouble shoot "everything that could go wrong" in a social scenario, but the most you'll do is talk yourself out of doing anything.

I've never been "diagnosed" with anything despite asking many times. I'm inclined towards thinking I don't have any disorders just unhealthy coping strategies from childhood that I've been overly identified with and that I'm doing a good job of gradually undoing.

Good for you! It's very hard to relearn your coping strategies.

About diagnosis: Having a "diagnosis" isn't always the best way to go about helping yourself. If it's an apt diagnosis, it can give some much needed clarity. However, if you've not started working on improving your habits outside of the confines of the criteria for the "diagnosis" you have, having the "diagnosis" could then cause more harm than good. You can't rely on a diagnosis to tell you what you should excuse yourself for, and then what you shouldn't let yourself get away with. You have to determine those things for yourself first.

About unhealthy coping strategies: have you heard of the ACE scores? ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. I think it's something you might find interesting:

Take The ACE Quiz — And Learn What It Does And Doesn't Mean

First developed in the 1990s, the 10 questions of the Adverse Childhood Experiences test are designed to take a rough measure of a difficult childhood. Finding out your score is easy. Now what?

www.npr.org

 

[Rebis]

I think I have a high disposition for depression, but the last few months I've had a massive anti-inflammatory diet along with 5HTP (only sometimes now because it definitely sends my heart rate in whack now). I started university (college if you're from america) a month ago and it has been alcohol, hydrogenated fats and meat when I'm hungover. I've been irritated by mild things , I'm going to get lots of fish and beans tomorrow.

 

[Puffy]

I can relate to that. I think it's definitely good to take yourself out of your comfort zone, but also respect your limits. If you respond to what you need as it comes, you might get better at managing anxiety. You can try to trouble shoot "everything that could go wrong" in a social scenario, but the most you'll do is talk yourself out of doing anything.

Good for you! It's very hard to relearn your coping strategies.

About diagnosis: Having a "diagnosis" isn't always the best way to go about helping yourself. If it's an apt diagnosis, it can give some much needed clarity. However, if you've not started working on improving your habits outside of the confines of the criteria for the "diagnosis" you have, having the "diagnosis" could then cause more harm than good. You can't rely on a diagnosis to tell you what you should excuse yourself for, and then what you shouldn't let yourself get away with. You have to determine those things for yourself first.

About unhealthy coping strategies: have you heard of the ACE scores? ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. I think it's something you might find interesting:

Take The ACE Quiz — And Learn What It Does And Doesn't Mean

First developed in the 1990s, the 10 questions of the Adverse Childhood Experiences test are designed to take a rough measure of a difficult childhood. Finding out your score is easy. Now what?

www.npr.org

Yeah I agree for the most part. On diagnosis too. In my case, I think anxiety is either an expression of fear or it's rooted in when you're denying a certain emotion - like sadness or anger - and as you're saying, on some unconscious level, you shouldn't be feeling that emotion it becomes trapped and felt as anxiety instead. If you can find some mechanism to "feel it" it eventually dissipates.

For the last few years I've worked in a very people centred role as a qualitative researcher. I have to effectively communicate with people full-time - whether collaborating with team-mates, interviewing people I don't know, or communicating research findings. In part it was a conscious decision of stepping outside my comfort zone. In the initial stages I had to deal with anxiety triggers all the time, and it was something of a trial by fire which really demanded a lot of courage to stick through it. But by continually seeing that my fear doesn't measure up to reality and challenging it it's softened to a point I only feel it these days if I'm particularly stressed.

I think it's also important to have some means of noticing when certain thought-loops come in as they have a tendency to reinforce themselves and spiral. I've utilised personal 'rituals' to reset them over time when they come in. Can be as simple as lying down and relaxing for 20 minutes over lunch-break or taking a quick nap. Anxiety becomes expressed as stress in the body, so relaxing the body has a natural effect of relaxing the mind which shifts the thought-pattern.

Also, "you are what you eat." If you put lots of shit in your body - like I have done historically - it's natural you start putting lots of shit in your mind as well. One effects the other in a loop. Eating shit is a literal expression of self-punishment. If you get in the habit of nourishing yourself I've noticed your thoughts become more nourishing as well, or vice versa. Just sharing what works for me anyway!

I hadn't heard of ACE so thanks for linking it. My score on that is actually quite low 1-2/10 so I'm inclined towards saying it also depends on someone's sensitivity. I never grew up around physical violence, for example, but I did around a lot of yelling and verbal abuse (towards my Mum) which if you answer the scoring honestly it doesn't take into account.

 

[walfin]

I've been off the forum for a long time and decided to take a look today.

I had a mental breakdown this year and quit my job for 2 months. Diagnosed with delusional disorder. I kept imagining that the files I was handling would blow up (not physically but figuratively) - I worked as a litigation lawyer - even though I generally used to be on top of things.

Right now I'm still thinking of going back to my old job (my boss has told me to tell him when I am ready).

Anyone else has been through this before and has tips on how to snap out of it? I am taking my meds and trying techniques like deep breathing to take my mind off the stress.

 

[rlnb]

I have always had enough self-awareness to know that I am not normal (neurologically/ psychologically )
Over the last year, I have been reading about these things to try and figure out what the problem might be. Thats what got me into MBTI.

At different points in time, I have self diagnosed myself as Schizoid and or Narcissistic.
Sometimes, I think i might have Aspergers.
Whatever is the problem, there is a clear neurological underpinning to it as I do have some neurological issues.

 

[Rebis]

At different points in time, I have self diagnosed myself as Schizoid and or Narcissistic.
Sometimes, I think i might have Aspergers.
Whatever is the problem, there is a clear neurological underpinning to it as I do have some neurological issues.

I think if anyone delves deep into who they are they will discover problems, though these problems can be resolved through acceptance. I think cognitive dissonance plays a major role in people's confidence issues when it comes to what they describe as "neurological issues". Everything can be evaluated as having a negative impact: Lack of confidence? Anxiety. Lack of humility? Arrogance. Lack of emotions? Psychopath. Too much Emotions? Volatility. Socially inept? Autism. Socially Adept? Attention seeking. I don't see neurological issues as disorders, I just see them as aspects of neurology. I would define schizophrenia as a problem because of uncontrolled hallucinations, but aspergers, narcissism, asocial behaviour: stuff like that is well within the range of human behaviour. Nothing atypical about it.

 

[moody]

Whatever is the problem, there is a clear neurological underpinning to it as I do have some neurological issues.

See a neurologist, then. Have symptoms your sure of written down and prepared to explain, so you don't miss anything when you're on the spot. Don't leave anything out. Maybe you could get steered in a helpful direction.

 

[Happy]

I've been off the forum for a long time and decided to take a look today.

I had a mental breakdown this year and quit my job for 2 months. Diagnosed with delusional disorder. I kept imagining that the files I was handling would blow up (not physically but figuratively) - I worked as a litigation lawyer - even though I generally used to be on top of things.

Right now I'm still thinking of going back to my old job (my boss has told me to tell him when I am ready).

Anyone else has been through this before and has tips on how to snap out of it? I am taking my meds and trying techniques like deep breathing to take my mind off the stress.

Sorry to hear that, man. It’s tough.
I had a similar work-related breakdown probably 18 months ago now. I think it’s not uncommon in risky consulting work.

Going back to work at the same workplace was definitely not good in my experience. Every time I went back, my mind would regress to that period, and I’d become highly stressed very quickly. However, it may be good to go back for a bit and wrap things up before formally leaving. If you know you’re leaving, it’s bearable.

I think turning your back on your profession is also not the right answer... for now. It would just serve to allow the negative experiences to fester, and turn thoughts of your profession into traumatic episodes in themselves. I think it’s probably most healthy to return to the profession, but from a different tack.

If it were me in your shoes, i would try and find a new job, but where the circumstances will be different. I think that’s the most important part. Like that analogy to “get back on the horse”, but then take the horse on a different path. The reason I think this is the appropriate approach is that you can continue doing what you do, but start forming different connections and associations with the experience of doing your work.

In my experience, I had my breakdown, and when I went back to work, I was suffering and getting worse again. I had no idea how to address it. Then, I was quite lucky, and received a call that turned out to be another firm inviting me to help them open a new office in my city. I ended up taking the opportunity, and it was perhaps the best decision I ever made. I had to wait a few weeks to start, so I finished off or handed over my projects at the old firm before moving on. This helped give some closure on the things that caused the stress.
Then, the immediate change of scenery was like a fresh start. And because it was a different type of work (opening a new office is a bit like a start-up, but with support), almost none of the negative associations I had formed came to haunt me (or at least for quite some time, after which I was waaay better equipped to handle them and it’s not a problem now).
Finally, the whole experience and how I approached and dealt with it has made me much, much better at my profession.

So, in closing, if I were in your situation i would go back to work, give my notice, wrap things up there, and then find a different gig where the situation will be different enough that I could continue developing, but not fall into the same pitfalls.

Hope that helps. If you want to ask me anything (I don’t like going into too much depth publicly), feel free to shoot me a PM or hook up on Discord via the INTPf server.

 

[Rebis]

A person's existence is valid, if they have a condition that doesn't bother me, I'm drawn to them for reasons that aren't dependent on their psychological condition. I would like to help them but I can offer little support and often I don't find anything wrong with them, in the sense that schizoid behaviour is not something I define as bad.

I'm amoral to it all. I talk to them as I would another.

 

[Kormak]

A person's existence is valid, if they have a condition that doesn't bother me, I'm drawn to them for reasons that aren't dependent on their psychological condition. I would like to help them but I can offer little support and often I don't find anything wrong with them, in the sense that schizoid behaviour is not something I define as bad.

I'm amoral to it all. I talk to them as I would another.

Would you say most INTPs may have Aspergers? It would explain some things.
Its probably why I cant relate to the whole socially awkward / I can't read ppl stereotype.
Reading ppl and manipulating them is easy imo. I pick up on body language with incredible ease compared to other ppl I know.

I used to have social anxiety tho. It comes from my ESFJ mother, who has agoraphobia and constant anxiety, to the point where she can't sleep. I kinda learned it from her and this one event in summer camp probably scarred my brain with anxiety forever. I have seen documentaries on animals where this happens early in development, it alters their brain forever towards the turbulent side. I perceive the external world as hostile and dangerous, it is involuntary. I have undergone CBT to cope and nowadays I'm comfy with ppl and social interaction, but my mind is still more neurotic and leans towards the negative. Curiously in crisis situations, I tend to be very calm and focus with ease.

For me, introversion means more like I get tired after a while during socializing and need to sleep. Retreating is not enough, I literally need sleep to function again. e_e my temperament is phlegmatic-choleric, so that makes sense. Conserving energy all the time.

My ENFP brother, on the other hand, oozes ease and confidence XD.. life of the party. It makes me kinda jelly. I'm far too self conscious and contained to let loose like that.

I think I have a high disposition for depression, but the last few months I've had a massive anti-inflammatory diet along with 5HTP (only sometimes now because it definitely sends my heart rate in whack now). I started university (college if you're from america) a month ago and it has been alcohol, hydrogenated fats and meat when I'm hungover. I've been irritated by mild things , I'm going to get lots of fish and beans tomorrow.

Sleep 7 to 8 hours a day every day, consistently and sunbathe for like 15 to 30 minutes daily. It will fix depressions without any obvious psychological cause and even then it will improve the general mood significantly. Takes around 3 weeks to kick in tho. If you then lift 3 times a week, you'll be over the moon, get a gim membership. Lift. Worth it. Trust me.

"Mens sana in corpore sano"

 

[Rebis]

Sleep 7 to 8 hours a day every day, consistently and sunbathe for like 15 to 30 minutes daily. It will fix depressions without any obvious psychological cause and even then it will improve the general mood significantly. Takes around 3 weeks to kick in tho. If you then lift 3 times a week, you'll be over the moon, get a gim membership. Lift. Worth it. Trust me.

"Mens sana in corpore sano"

My depression the thing of the past, it'll never come back as I have so many solutions to it
I go to the gym, better blood flow, cellular repair, NAD and decreased resting heart rate (sitting at 55 last check). I don't like lifting weights that much, I'm sitting at 6 ft 2 I'm quite lean, I lift 100lb on most upper body machines except like shoulder press. Too much muscles seems inefficient to me I like being fast on my feet and not looking like an inflatable balloon, I just do resistance workouts now. I take vitamin D3 pills which help with the lack of sunlight over here.

 

[Rebis]

Would you say most INTPs may have Aspergers? It would explain some things.
Its probably why I cant relate to the whole socially awkward / I can't read ppl stereotype.
Reading ppl and manipulating them is easy imo. I pick up on body language with incredible ease compared to other ppl I know.

I used to have social anxiety tho. It comes from my ESFJ mother, who has agoraphobia and constant anxiety, to the point where she can't sleep. I kinda learned it from her and this one event in summer camp probably scarred my brain with anxiety forever. I have seen documentaries on animals where this happens early in development, it alters their brain forever towards the turbulent side. I perceive the external world as hostile and dangerous, it is involuntary. I have undergone CBT to cope and nowadays I'm comfy with ppl and social interaction, but my mind is still more neurotic and leans towards the negative. Curiously in crisis situations, I tend to be very calm and focus with ease.

For me, introversion means more like I get tired after a while during socializing and need to sleep. Retreating is not enough, I literally need sleep to function again. e_e my temperament is phlegmatic-choleric, so that makes sense. Conserving energy all the time.

My ENFP brother, on the other hand, oozes ease and confidence XD.. life of the party. It makes me kinda jelly. I'm far too self conscious and contained to let loose like that.

I think there's a correlation between INTP and aspergers for sure: Both are dominated by thinking rather than feeling, usually aspergic people are self-centered, low functioning will become enraged/agitated if they can't do specific tasks so on surveying for INTP they would be seen as prospective because people think they're incompetent when it comes to a task other people need them to do, like schoolwork for example.

Both often lean to fictional worlds, both typically think rather than feel, both can be construed as socially inept in their younger years and so on. My sister's autistic, so is my brother, so is the dad figure and my best friend. I think the core difference is obsession: It's very hard for me to get obsessed, let's say a TV Show: I can disambiguate the themes in that show and find them in other TV shows which detracts from an obsession, I can only be obsessed with something that offers an exclusive stimulus. There is very few pieces of content media based that I get obsessed about for long periods. My interest in stiff dwindles at a faster rate than autistic people.

Me and 3 friends used to have a groupchat which I aptly named (4.1 Autistic Virulent cesspit of filth), self-deprecating teenagers ay?

 

[Rebis]

I have two INTP friends, both with aspergers and IQs of 150, one I know who is genuine and one who has only confirmed it online (why do people claim their IQ as if its divine right?). Anyways, both quite bright:

Adam is the cofirmed one, Matthew is the unconfirmed.

Me and Adam have been friends for 6 years, I was a year older than him. I partied a lot and eventually got Adam under my wing, now he parties a lot and we live in the same city as of september. He has his cool squad of vagobonds, is pretty popular and is a bit more sociable than me, I guess I took a step back in the social sphere from partying again and again. He does computer science the same as me. He plays a lot of video games, doesn't really get into intellectual discussions with a lot of depth, he wouldn't really reciprocate my points. He has a fantastic memory however, if you were unsure of a message you sent him 6 months ago you can be guaranteed he'll remember.

Me and Matthew have talked online for about a year, he's mainly political. He studied physics, he's a popular photographer and endlessly talks online about left-wing politics and he approached me at an employment fair a few years ago he was recruiting and I found him at a rave in a field 20 miles away the same night. Resembles a polymath in a way. Matt doesn't associate with the right, also kind of fanboys over peterson so he conveys himself as unbiased. He could post like 20 massive paragraphs a day about random events, calling out members of the left for doing x and y "How can someone punch another?" Gasps, how surprising from a volatile political dispute, humans enacting violence is unheard of!

I criticise matt a lot more, he posts some shit. But ultimately both learn fast but they don't seem to delve deep into content, they prefer short term bursts of knowledge rather than complexity in an argument. So they're both INTP, both have aspergers, but we differ a lot: I don't get obsessed with topics the same way they do, they see content as isolated like they wouldn't overlap scientific facts into economic systems, there is no vertical integration. No overlapping physiological solutions to mental disorders, no exploiting biochemical/cellular processes to reach specific states and such. I use them, along with others to really illustrate that IQ only infers speed when it comes to learning a subject, it doesn't infer the depth in which you understand subjects.

 

[Puffy]

It's interesting being self-aware of family dynamics. It's kind of like my issues are a combination of my Mum and Dad's issues but as a milder version of each. My Dad is far more of a loner and higher in control than me. My Mum's levels of self-punishment and anxiety are more severe than mine.

My favourite psychoanalysis term for the day: introjection.

 

[Minuend]

I think there's a correlation between INTP and aspergers for sure

Or maybe people with different types wil be more likely to score INTP if they are aspies. Though, that dives into the rabbit hole of what type is. How do you seperate a INFJ aspie from a neurotypical INTP? How do you seperate someone with mania from ENTP or ISFJ? Etc

I personally think if you're an aspie you have a higher chance of scoring INTP on quizzes, and I think there are more aspies on this forum than in the general population. Whether that means you're INTP or a different type with abnormal reaction patterns is probably something to be discussed among those specialized in typology.

 

[Rebis]

I think there's a correlation between INTP and aspergers for sure

Or maybe people with different types wil be more likely to score INTP if they are aspies. Though, that dives into the rabbit hole of what type is. How do you seperate a INFJ aspie from a neurotypical INTP? How do you seperate someone with mania from ENTP or ISFJ? Etc

I personally think if you're an aspie you have a higher chance of scoring INTP on quizzes, and I think there are more aspies on this forum than in the general population. Whether that means you're INTP or a different type with abnormal reaction patterns is probably something to be discussed among those specialized in typology.

The commonalities between both groups exist but ultimately they're mutually exclusive.

 

[walfin]

I think there's a correlation between INTP and aspergers for sure

Or maybe people with different types wil be more likely to score INTP if they are aspies. Though, that dives into the rabbit hole of what type is. How do you seperate a INFJ aspie from a neurotypical INTP? How do you seperate someone with mania from ENTP or ISFJ? Etc

I personally think if you're an aspie you have a higher chance of scoring INTP on quizzes, and I think there are more aspies on this forum than in the general population. Whether that means you're INTP or a different type with abnormal reaction patterns is probably something to be discussed among those specialized in typology.

The commonalities between both groups exist but ultimately they're mutually exclusive.

I just read this on Wikipedia:

One study found personality disorders as described by the DSM overall to correlate modestly with I, N, T, and P, although the associations varied significantly by disorder. The only two disorders with significant correlations of all four MBTI dimensions were schizotypal (INTP) and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (ISTJ).

Seems like it's not Asperger's that's correlated with INTP, but Schizotypal personality disorder. Either way, it seems to explain the high incidence of mental illness on this forum.

 

[CerebralCollapse]

Hmm.
I have an incredibly hard time knowing how to respond to people. If they ask a question, or i'm expected to give a certain response I have no idea what's considered appropriate so mostly I hold off. I think everything I say is completely off-track. It's incredibly hard for me to discern what is real and what is not. I don't know if i'm wrong about everything I think I know. I've been told I lack emotional depth in my facial patterns. Sort of stoic-like..
I do have a few mental disorders but i'm much to self-conscious to list them.

 

[Kormak]

Hmm.
I have an incredibly hard time knowing how to respond to people. If they ask a question, or i'm expected to give a certain response I have no idea what's considered appropriate so mostly I hold off. I think everything I say is completely off-track. It's incredibly hard for me to discern what is real and what is not. I don't know if i'm wrong about everything I think I know. I've been told I lack emotional depth in my facial patterns. Sort of stoic-like..
I do have a few mental disorders but i'm much to self-conscious to list them.

Autistic? Austists have major issues with understanding social context and reading non-verbal communication cues.

 

[Marbles]

Hmm.
I have an incredibly hard time knowing how to respond to people. If they ask a question, or i'm expected to give a certain response I have no idea what's considered appropriate so mostly I hold off. I think everything I say is completely off-track. It's incredibly hard for me to discern what is real and what is not. I don't know if i'm wrong about everything I think I know. I've been told I lack emotional depth in my facial patterns. Sort of stoic-like..
I do have a few mental disorders but i'm much to self-conscious to list them.

Autistic? Austists have major issues with understanding social context and reading non-verbal communication cues.

Sounds like it could be Autism. As I understand it, modern research indicates that autistics struggle with cognitive empathy, not emotional empathy. Unless they also suffer from Alexithymia (which I do not know if is more prevalent among autists) they are not particularly bad at interpreting facial expressions. Actually, there is some research indicating that autism correlates with emotional empathy. For instance, mirror-touch synesthesia is more prevalent in autistics. That would make sense from the perspective that autistics have an extra reactive nervous system.

I realise I'm dumping quite a few terms, here, but I figure anyone interested can do a quick google search. Here are some relevant articles, though:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-with-autism-can-read-emotions-feel-empathy1/
https://the-art-of-autism.com/autistic-people-empathy-whats-the-real-story/

 

[Kormak]

Double post.... the website feels like its running on a toaster.

Aaanyway. I 100% have Cognitive and Compassionate Empathy.... but I don;t think I feel what others feel, sometimes I doubt I'm aware of my own feels... probably why my subconscious blindsides me every now and then.

W8.... what in tarnation!? >.> other post is goe now... hmmm

 

[EndogenousRebel]

People that have trouble relating with others will gravitate towards different outlets for filling that void. Others likely won't stimulate them in a way that's fulfilling so they seek it through whatever it is they latch on to, like videogames or fractals.

It should be made clear that while autism and Asperger's are on a "spectrum" they aren't considered disorders unless they impair functionality on a consistent basis.

Spoiler: Eh

One may be a killer coder with deep understanding of CS, akin to a native speaker of many languages, but they will always be disadvantaged because of their inability to cope with the social aspects of life. Not even going to go with into how theyre likely adverse to human interaction as a result of being targeted by other kids at school. It would take some really patient cajoling to get them to be productive, and they would likely being taken advantage of, though I wouldn't put it above them to spot this.

There are genetic as well as behavioral factors when diagnosing. Nature and nurture. One size fits all should never be the case when it comes to diagnosis. If one is born with the ondition it takes years before a diagnosis can be made, and if you're female then chances are you may never end up being diagnosed. If you aren't born with the disorder but develope an unhealthy model of human interaction due to environmental factors, then you'll probably be higher on the spectrum, but will otherwise be able to adapt well.

Personally as someone who has the genetic makeup akin to some asshole picking the hardest difficulty of a videogame, I share many previous sentiments with a lot of other mental disorders.

INTPs correlating with schizotypal? Although I fit that mold correlation≠causation. Psychology 101. Schizotypals trust ideas more than people?but people make ideas doe? Seems like an opening to ESFJ, which I will admit I feel would describe me in an ideal world.

 

[Stigmata]

It was mentioned that since so many people on the forum have a mental illness that this forum is really a mental illness forum. Now I am not making this thread to harass anyone, this is not a witchhunt. I am just curious how the forum is run knowing so many people have such conditions here. My condition has been diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder. I've been to the hospital several times. I've had several times where my condition has affected my activity on the forum in a disruptive many. I am grateful he mods were understanding of this. My experiences can be manic and I do not always have self-control. But rectify things as I can.

This thread is here to share experiences of those on the forum that wish to discuss. Please do not mention others, not in the thread.

Mental Illness forum?? I thought this was a forum dedicated to ponzi scheme start-ups -- I figured the I-N-T-P was an acronym for Intimidate, Negotiate, Tell lies, Pressure. What am I doing here with you crazies? Well, since I'm already here....how would you feel if I could guarantee you up-to a 30% return on a small, introductory investment of $500. PM for my ICQ number for further instruction!

 

[walfin]

People that have trouble relating with others will gravitate towards different outlets for filling that void. Others likely won't stimulate them in a way that's fulfilling so they seek it through whatever it is they latch on to, like videogames or fractals.

It should be made clear that while autism and Asperger's are on a "spectrum" they aren't considered disorders unless they impair functionality on a consistent basis.

Spoiler: Eh

One may be a killer coder with deep understanding of CS, akin to a native speaker of many languages, but they will always be disadvantaged because of their inability to cope with the social aspects of life. Not even going to go with into how theyre likely adverse to human interaction as a result of being targeted by other kids at school. It would take some really patient cajoling to get them to be productive, and they would likely being taken advantage of, though I wouldn't put it above them to spot this.

There are genetic as well as behavioral factors when diagnosing. Nature and nurture. One size fits all should never be the case when it comes to diagnosis. If one is born with the ondition it takes years before a diagnosis can be made, and if you're female then chances are you may never end up being diagnosed. If you aren't born with the disorder but develope an unhealthy model of human interaction due to environmental factors, then you'll probably be higher on the spectrum, but will otherwise be able to adapt well.

Personally as someone who has the genetic makeup akin to some asshole picking the hardest difficulty of a videogame, I share many previous sentiments with a lot of other mental disorders.

INTPs correlating with schizotypal? Although I fit that mold correlation≠causation. Psychology 101. Schizotypals trust ideas more than people?but people make ideas doe? Seems like an opening to ESFJ, which I will admit I feel would describe me in an ideal world.

Well but autism and asperger's aren't really mental illnesses, are they? They're more like a birth condition; perhaps the mental equivalent of having a mole.

According to Wikipedia schizotypal personality disorder is characterised by "severe social anxiety, thought disorder, paranoid ideation, derealization, transient psychosis and often unconventional beliefs". Apart from unconventional beliefs which could be helpful, the rest sound like pretty serious conditions that INTPs (or maybe even INFPs - I know that I certainly suffer from quite a few of the characteristic symptoms) could be prone to. I, N, T, and P appear to individually contribute to the likelihood of having social anxiety, etc. and the presence of all 4 in an individual probably exacerbates it.