Very true but this is the catch. All the women I am interested in are shall we say a cut above the ones interested in me. This leaves the possibiliy thay my standards are too high and it is not behavior related.
Human nature. You want a return for your efforts. If you ask someone out, there's always a potential for her to turn you down, or other things to go wrong. So there's more cost involved because of the risk. So you want a greater return to offset the risk, and thus aim for above what you can currently get.
It's a false estimate. The goal of dating is not to get a date, as that would make the method the goal, and a method is there to achieve something else, or it would create a recurring loop.
The goal of dating to gain what one gets by dating: a good time, great companions, sex, and a partner who improves your life in every way. The ones interested in you, are already willing to agree to a date. If you were interested in them, you'd have asked one of them out already and be dating her. So that's not the case.
If you were interested in achieving the goals of dating and getting the benefits of dating, then you'd be dating them. By dating them, you'd get experience in dating, and would thus improve your dating skills, which would increase your market value, and thus make it more likely that a girl like her would show interest in you. If your market value was still below her requirements, and you were still interested in dating her, you'd up your market value by working out and getting fitter, and developing other skills that would increase your market value in the dating arena. So your aim is not to get the benefits of dating, and not to date her either.
Another common reason that people date, is to practise dating skills. They're not interested in the girls they ask out and date per se. They just want to build up the skills of dating, such as getting a girl to agree to a date, and the skills required in dating, so that when they meet someone they want to be with, they'll have the skill to be able to date her and have a relationship with her. As you are not dating, you're not that bothered about practising skills while on a date. But you might be trying to practise and improve the skill of asking someone out, particularly if you are worried that the girls you like normally don't agree to a date.
Another reason that people date, is to build confidence. Asking a girl out, getting her to agree to a date, sex, etc, is also the skill of getting people to agree to your requests. Many young men are still struggling in the work arena. By getting girls to agree to go out with them, they build up a store of experiences that shows them that they can get people to agree to their requests. This then gives them the confidence and experience to think that when they have finished school and university, and are looking for work, and they come across the jobs they want, and have the qualifications to fulfil their requirements, that they'll be able to convince the interviewer to agree to give them the job. It's much safer for them to practise with girls they have no intent of staying with, than to practise with jobs that they want and losing some of those jobs as the result of making mistakes in the learning process. That too could be the case.
However, in general, people who date, find it easy to get another date, even from someone new. People who have a job, find it much easier to get another. People who have been in a relationship, find it much easier to get another relationship when the current one ends. People who are continually getting first dates, don't find it easy to convert the first date into a second date.
Part of this is because of reputation, and partially because of skills. Someone in a relationship, shows that they have the skills to have a relationship, because they're in one already. It might be different with a different girl. But the whole reason why we call relationships "relationships" is because there's so much in common with most relationships, that the skills and requirements for relationships are independent of the type of person you are dating. We don't even use words to differentiate between same-sex relationships and heterosexual relationships, because they too have so much in common, that what you need to know is largely independent of the sex of the person. We do talk about friendships using a different word than relationships, even though a friendship is a type of relationship, because the skills required for friendships and the skills required for relationships have enough that is different that one who is good at friendships would not automatically be good at relationships and vice versa. The same is true of family and friendships, and family and relationships, for the same reason. What this shows is that the general experiences of most people shows that the skills of relationships are mostly independent of the people involved, and so they subconsciously evolved to choose the word "relationship" to describe any romantic relationship with anyone.
"Sugar daddy" would be a different type of relationship that would require special skills, because people refer to that type of relationship as a different category. The same goes for "may-december relationships" (relationships with a large age gap).
It seems from your posts, that she's generally been with someone, and usually stayed with each guy for a while. So she's not looking for a fly-by-night. Right now, you have the option to date someone, and aren't. So that suggests that either you aren't really interested in dating anyone seriously, and are only looking for another notch to add to your bed, or the girls who did date you dropped you quickly because you lack the motivation and/or skills to keep them around, and you haven't learned them either or have not been interested in developing them.
If you start dating girls her age who are interested in you, you'll probably develop the skills that you need to be able to date her too. Even if you don't, she'll hear that you're dating girls her age, which would imply that other girls her age like dating you, and so you have the relationship skills for a girl her age. So she'll assume that she'd probably like dating you as well. Usually, girls will become much more interested when a guy starts dating other girls her age. So it's also got empirical validation. If her attitude doesn't change, and she still seems off-putting, then it would suggest that she simply is not interested in you that way at all, and thus you might as well date someone else, which you'll then have plenty of ability to do, because you've got the experience.
Of course, you might worry about developing the skills of asking someone out. But it's the same skill in asking someone out who you've been dating for a while, as the skill in asking someone out who you've just met. In many ways, it's even easier with someone you've just met, as a girl you've been dating for a while knows if your dates are boring to her. Someone you've just met has to be somewhat optimistic, because if she didn't, then she'd have to be pessimistic about everyone she just met, and then she would have to turn them all down, and would find it very hard to get a boyfriend. So the fact that she hardly knows you works in your favour.
In that way, it's similar to asking a friend to hang out, which isn't all that different to asking a stranger to hang out. The difficulty is beginning a new conversation with a stranger, which is a different category for all situations, friendships, relationships, business partners, family members that you've never met before, etc.
Really, you just need to understand that most of this is about developing the skills, which is mostly about doing the things over and over again, paying attention to when things aren't quite going perfectly, and changing things to improve them until you find things that do work to improve things. The skills are independent of the girl. So you stand to gain the most, by dating the girls who are interested in you.
After you've been dating the girls who are interested in you for a while and you feel confident about asking girls out and dating girls in general, then this girl won't seem so mystifying or mysterious. There will be other girls just as hot that you would know how to date. It will only be a question of if this girl has something about her that makes you think that you'd have more in common with her than other girls. If she says yes, then you can date her. If she says no, then you can move on. If she's dating someone else, then you can date until a girl you want to be with comes along and dates you. If that happens to be her, then maybe it will work out. If it turns out to be someone else, then you'll still be happy with the results.
Plus, dating someone who you haven't focussed on, takes the pressure off of you, which makes it much easier to not be nervous and not screw up.
So just get on and date the girls who do like you. Worry about this girl after you've dated a few of these girls for a few weeks, and given them a "happy" (The Big O).
