INTP depression prone?

[Seducer of the Homeless]

ABSOLUTELY!

i am (that which sets me apart) weird, dark, creative. no one in the world can be weird or creative in the same way - my type of weirdness and creativity are ME - and darkness and even sadness i think (although not enjoyable) i need in order to be content


and, snowqueen - what do you lecture?

 

[walfin]

All of snowqueen's suggestions, while good, are VERY hard to carry out. Especially the first and second ("Finding a point of power" and "Develop your ability to discern which things are to do with you and which are to do with other people"). The first depends a hell lot on opportunities given, and the second is near impossible even for people who aren't depressed. The rest are merely difficult.

 

[Toad]

Hemingway said, "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

Good Hemingway quote, Crabs! Although I'm not positive it has to be true. It might be harder for us (dare I say I'm intelligent?) to be happy, but it doesn't mean it's impossible. Or maybe we have a different sort of happy...

Depression used to be a frequent companion of mine- no, not companion... lover. Finally, when my lover was trying to kill me, I decided it was no longer a relationship I wanted to continue. Yes, he comes to visit on occasion, but I don't let him get as close to me as I used to. I hold him at arm's length; we do nothing more than shake hands, drink tea together. If he tries to seduce me, I kick him out the door and double bolt the lock. The same could be said for euphoria, only more so; I don't even answer the phone when he calls.

I have received not one ounce of good from therapists. The first one I went to when I was hypomanic did nothing but embolden me and make it worse. I took her listening and empathy as tacit consent. Not to mention discussing my feelings made me obsess over them all the more. I go to my psychiatrist on a fairly regular basis. He's a nice guy and all and I go along with the discussion to make him feel worthwhile. Mainly, though, I just want the drug he prescribes for me. I know people are pretty anti-drug around here and I was, too, until I actually started taking them and it kept me from wanting to kill myself. The most important thing is to take responsibility for your dosing/meds. If it feels like too much, lower the dose. If it isn't working at all, try something else. (Have I said this before? Chances are yes.)

 

[Toad]

http://www.recurrentdepression.com/site/more/depression-and-intelligence/

You take anti-deppressents brain? I am looking into taking them too. I really want to see a psychiatrist. I don't know if I'm depressed or happy anymore. I think it might be mild bipolar.

Do you experience any side-effects of the drug? I am unsure if I want to introduce any more drugs into my body. I am afraid that if I start taking anti-depressants a fake version of me will come out. I am still trying to figure out who I really am. If I add drugs to the equation it might become even harder.

 

[Ermine]

Hemingway said, "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."

Indeed. I often wish I wasn't smart for that reason. Less intelligent people think they want to be smart, but they have it better than we do as they can enjoy life as it comes while I have to dissect life until it figuratively dies.

Depression is so easy when we're good at analysis to the point of picking everything apart and realizing what's happening in the existential scheme of things.

 

[Toad]

Ignorance is bliss...

I wonder if there is a point where an intelligent person gathers so much information that he can move beyond the realm of depression. Like an intellectual "enlightenment" so to speak.

 

[Nocturna]

I'd love that to be true, KoC, but I doubt it. There's simply too much information out there for anyone to ever be able absorb it all and get that enlightenment.

 

[motrhead]

Sorry for turning this into a novel (I can't help it, I love to write...), for some reason I can make sense of myself on this forum

Depression used to be a frequent companion of mine- no, not companion... lover. Finally, when my lover was trying to kill me, I decided it was no longer a relationship I wanted to continue. Yes, he comes to visit on occasion, but I don't let him get as close to me as I used to. I hold him at arm's length; we do nothing more than shake hands, drink tea together. If he tries to seduce me, I kick him out the door and double bolt the lock. The same could be said for euphoria, only more so; I don't even answer the phone when he calls.

IF I changed this to a she, it could pretty much apply to half of my lifetime, except that my survival instinct is too strong to entertain any thoughts of a premature death. Am I strange in that respect? I may have entertained the thought once as a teen, but it was immediately and absolutely rejected, and has never ever returned. I did engage in some self destructive (rebellious?) behaviour involving wretched excess , but I have always wanted to live!
Depression seldom visits anymore, but it does sneak up on me, on the rare occasion, for a very short time. As a teen it was an overwhelming despair and despondence that confined me to my bed for days at a stretch. I completely withdrew from the outside world. The only thing got me out of it was my mother sending me to live with my father, and his forcing me to go to school or get a job.
Eventually I was introduced to a girl that was so much like me it was scary.We hung out together from dusk to dawn as platonic friends, though I wished it had been more, and it probably would have been if she wasn't obsessed with finding a rich boyfriend to please her mother. That friendship did so much for my self-worth and happiness, that I was able to finally become a socially competent person, meet other people (which started a pattern of pursuing wild outgoing females ) and finally led to meeting my wife. After that I was rarely depressed, and became "the happy guy". Things weren't all rosy though. My wife was diagnosed as bipolar, and the complications of that led to the occasional (hidden) bout of short term depression, but nothing debilitating. There were tough times. I had to be strong and cope, and I did.
Things aren't always wonderful, and I do have my occasional dark times, but normally only for an hour, or maybe an evening. I know I carry that dark core around with me, and it can be all too familiar and easy to connect with. Which leads me to this:

Ignorance is bliss...

I wonder if there is a point where an intelligent person gathers so much information that he can move beyond the realm of depression. Like an intellectual "enlightenment" so to speak.

I love to create and invent and learn, and this has become my defense mechanism. I live to gather information. The act of learning brings me happiness, and the information is often just a mouse click away. This would probably explain why I have so many hobbies. I learn everything there is to know about a subject, and then move on to something else. When I sense depression coming on, I can usually deflect it by turning off the emotion and engaging my intellect. Writing can help, but I had given that up for decades until last year. I kick myself for not pursuing it for my whole life.
I guess I have almost grown out of depression, or at least it has now almost reduced to a level that may be experienced by a "normal" person, whatever that is...

 

[snowqueen]

Ignorance is bliss...

I wonder if there is a point where an intelligent person gathers so much information that he can move beyond the realm of depression. Like an intellectual "enlightenment" so to speak.

I'm a happy person. I used to be depressed all the time though. I became happy by doing all the things which I suggest to others - particularly exercise and focusing on what I am good at and what I enjoy doing. I collected people who support and encourage me and I dropped or avoided people who made me miserable or simply took from me. I focus on the future and I's do nearly anything to stay in work. I still have miserable days but they're rare. I just had a huge temper tantrum about half an hour ago when I discovered that all the stoppers for the blow up mattresses are missing and my children are going to a festival tomorrow - this is so annoying - why couldn't they simply be put back??? But that is only because I'm really tired. I get miserable when I'm tired.

I think every moment I am miserable is a waste of my life so I'll do almost anything to stop myself being miserable. Just forcing myself to smile is enough sometimes. Life's too short to court misery.

 

[snowqueen]

ABSOLUTELY!

i am (that which sets me apart) weird, dark, creative. no one in the world can be weird or creative in the same way - my type of weirdness and creativity are ME - and darkness and even sadness i think (although not enjoyable) i need in order to be content


and, snowqueen - what do you lecture?

I lecture on an occupational therapy degree programme and I develop conceptual models to help understand learning in higher education and also to help people think critically about social inclusion. I am basically paid to read books and come up with theories. Not a bad life! Universities are INTP sanctuaries.

 

[walfin]

Intelligent people can be happy, and unintelligent people can be sad.

This thread is about INTPs, not about "intelligent people" per se. I would hesitate to equate INTP with intelligence - I am not very intelligent; I am only slightly above average (I used to say I was stupider than most; objectively, that's just false humility). There are intelligent people who aren't INTP.

In a way I think INTPs take an absurd pride in being depressed, especially since so many famous people see it as a hallmark of intelligence.

I believe a major cause of depression is feeling trapped, of (as said in another thread by snowqueen) having responsibility without power, and I posit that INTPs tend to find themselves, more often, in situations where they have little or no control (or are more likely to see the areas which they are unable to control), and yet INTPs are more likely than some other types to feel that they have an obligation to do something.

Intelligent ENTJs (for lack of a better example) would probably face far less internal conflict. They are likely to be more than willing to exert control, unlike an INTP.

There are people who find themselves depressed because they "don't know what they want". This, I believe, is not the case for an INTP. We know (at least vaguely, subconsciously) what will make us happy. We are frustrated because the route there entails doing a lot of things that we don't like to do and go against our nature, which we can't avoid, and we thus feel trapped.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

I lecture on an occupational therapy degree programme and I develop conceptual models to help understand learning in higher education and also to help people think critically about social inclusion. I am basically paid to read books and come up with theories. Not a bad life! Universities are INTP sanctuaries.

i can't think of a more perfect INTP job, sounds wonderful (and intelligent)

i want to be an artist/composer....YAY FOR IMPOSSIBILITY!!!

 

[snowqueen]

i can't think of a more perfect INTP job, sounds wonderful (and intelligent)

i want to be an artist/composer....YAY FOR IMPOSSIBILITY!!!

You already are an artist.
Maybe you are already a composer - haven't heard anything - snapvine it!

Yeah the job is excellent - but it was a helluva long and painful road getting there! I spent most of my late teens and twenties depressed and taking drugs. That's what I'm trying to get you to avoid doing!! It's very overrated (and a bloody waste of time)

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

well, i only drink water now, i think it is unlikely i will EVER drink alcohol (seriously)

drugs - i would consider an infrequent (not an addiction, at all) of Cannabis, just for the effects (heightening) of mental state (in thoughts and music)
i will never (even if i do take small amounts of weed) become addicted (won't start taking regularly) and will NEVER take ecstasy, heroin etc NO WAY


trust me, i am the softest person i know. the only addiction i will ever get is a chocolate addiction
i can't help but feel i will become depressed, and for some reason i may some day develop anorexia. i have visions of myself eating nothing but bread and apples (also just water)

strange

i am happy for you

 

[Toad]

Drugs ruin your life. It takes away everything you care about and hurts everyone around you. I often wonder what my life would be like if I had never taken drugs. I would probably be very financially secure, but still missing something in my life. Before taking cocaine and fucking everything up, I think I was a very shallow person. Only caring about myself, looking good, and having fun. So in a way...drugs steered me in the right direction? Does that sound right? That's kind of fucked up actually. Well, maybe I would have steered myself in the right direction without it anyway. Who knows. But it seems like when your life is really fucked up, that is the times that you really learn about yourself.

Even after all the bullshit I've gone through because of it, I still have cravings for cocaine. That is how fucked up drugs are.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

Yeah, but I think it depends whether you are an addictive sort of person or not. I've never done coke or heroin, but I drink/ did drink, used to smoke cigarettes/weed, I've eaten mushrooms, I've taken ecstasy, etc. Every single one of these things, if I ever felt like I was doing it too much, I would step back and think, why am I doing this so much? Is there something lacking/ something I need to repair in my life? And then I cut down or I stopped. In general, though, I have never felt like I HAD to do a drug, it's just been more of a 'why not, it's fun' or 'might as well see what happens' sort of situation. I think you just need to know what sort of person you are. If you have the tendency toward addiction, drug use might not be that great of an idea.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

i get easily addicted to random things. (some random guys haircut, Gwen Stefani, Beavis and Butthead, a girl once...)

i am currently addicted to Yo-Yo ing

yeah, random.

 

[Toad]

LoL Randomness FTW! I'm currently addicted to the band The Killers. Who knows what it will be next week?

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

it is rather fun, tbh

top 5 artists of the week

Klaus Nomi (this guy rules!)
Simon & Garfunkel
The Mars Volta
Webern
Matmos


random....

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

I get addicted to random things. However when I am addicted to things, it is short term. Then I get bored or I no longer find it interesting.... I guess it was the same with drugs.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

yeah, always short term

(long term obsessions = music (playing, making and listening), chocolate, psychology, sitcoms, internet, doodling - probably more)

 

[Toad]

If you look in my old thread "INTP's prone to addiction?" EditorOne makes a good point.

"I read once where the INTP dark side creates a predisposition to mitigate boredom or unpleasantness or chronic dissatisfaction with habitual, but not addictive, overindulgence in such things as drinking"

I think we just get random "addictions" because we get bored easily. I started using cocaine because I was bored. Too bad Cocaine carries with it a chemical dependency.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

that makes perfect sense

 

[Toad]

that makes perfect sense

Is that for my post? How did you read it so fast? I just posted it and then you replied like right after.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

yes, your post

lol

 

[Carnap]

I have bipolar tendencies. I think it is more a genetic wiring than a personality type. I think my introversion can play into it, though.

Ex. If I get excited about something I cannot sleep until daylight because my mind is like fireworks, or conversely if something upsets me I get almost physically ill.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

I get physically ill, not any almost about it. And you know I'm bipolar all ready. But I haven't been manic in ages I don't remember all that well how it is. Or at least I try not to...

That sounds about right, btw, crabs.

 

[motrhead]

If you look in my old thread "INTP's prone to addiction?" EditorOne makes a good point.

"I read once where the INTP dark side creates a predisposition to mitigate boredom or unpleasantness or chronic dissatisfaction with habitual, but not addictive, overindulgence in such things as drinking"

I think we just get random "addictions" because we get bored easily. I started using cocaine because I was bored. Too bad Cocaine carries with it a chemical dependency.

I am the same way. I overdo everything, but mostly by choice just because I like it, not from any real dependency. I often get stuck on a band or type of music for a week or two, then move on. When I was a teen, the album "The Wall" came out, and that was all I listened to for literally months (wallowing in depression). Now I can't stand it, but I love everything else from the Floyd. I love Fireball Shooter, and it got to be a nightly habit, every night. My brain finally said "this can't be healthy for your liver", so I no longer touch the stuff: definitely habitual, not an addiction. When I am going through a fly fishing phase, I will always stay by the river until it is too dark to see, but right now I have no desire to fish. I'm currently between addictions ...okay, that's probably not true...there is this forum...

 

[Toad]

I'm into golf right now.

 

[Nocturna]

In a way, I wish I had some addiction, that meant there was something I loved or needed bad enough. I always feel like I'm living some sort of half life because there's nothing that I want, need or love strongly.
Never tried hard drugs but everything else that gets people addicted I usually dislike it, like alcohol or tobacco. I like chocolate, but even that takes very little for me to be sated. Hmmm... I could say I'm addicted to Final Fantasy, it's the closest to an addiction I can think of.

 

[walfin]

Never tried hard drugs but everything else that gets people addicted I usually dislike it, like alcohol or tobacco.

Lucky you.

Where's the OP? Discussion's getting interesting.

 

[Cryss Winters]

I was told due to my often depression that I must exert emotions/feelings but I argue that my depression is due to being overly analytical. Feedback?

 

[Toad]

I was told due to my often depression that I must exert emotions/feelings but I argue that my depression is due to being overly analytical. Feedback?

I figure this post would work with this thread too.

Imagine a huge dam. The dam is my rational thinking side. It holds in the HUGE amount of water which represent my emotions. My emotions are constantly trying to break the dam. When things in life effect my emotions, the water starts spilling over the damn. When tragedy hits, my dam completely shatters and it's like an outpour of emotions.

I usually keep my emotions held tight inside of me. But once the dam breaks, well you get the picture.

For example, one time I was drinking with my family. Alcohol amplifies my emotions. We started talking about my life and I finally admitted to using cocaine and everything that I've done. I started crying uncontrollably and my dam just burst. The next day I felt so much better. The pressure of the water had become so great that my dam (logic) was cracking.

My point is, even if you are a T, it doesn't mean you don't have emotions. You have to share and let go sometimes to relieve pressure. If you don't, your logic will be "cracked" and your decisions will become irrational and emotion based.
__________________

 

[Cryss Winters]

Toad, you're just spamming posts. Aren't you? =3

 

[srf4413]

I've found that INTPs are really good at immersing themselves in dark emotions in order to analyze them further, even if they're painful. Because we want to understand them.

Wow. I've never even thought of it like that. I've gone through elevated and depressed mood cycles for the better part of a decade. usually a couple weeks at a time I'll start getting mopey and then something will snap me out of it. That's seems crazy to me to intentionally dive into the deep end of sadness just to see what it feels like. Hell, maybe it's to actually feel something. I find myself going through intense emotional swings, sometimes only hours long. I've recently thought that I might be bipolar. The off the great mania cliff into the grand canyon of darkness. I thank you Jennywocky for introducing another possibility. I look forward to attempting to view it in that manner.

 

[whereismymind]

I'm just jumping in randomly... new as a member to the group but have read posts for quite a while.

I divorced the years ago after realizing my marriage was simply me hiding in technology and her ignoring any topic I ever wanted to talk about! So... a deep sense of depression slowly built up to the point that, after a bit of analysis, I'd realized I actually didn't have anyone in my life to share INTP'ness with - like maybe talking politics, or alternative fuel, or new ways to market online, or philosophy. BTW - did anyone catch Philip Zimbardo on Coast to Coast a few days ago?

I'd been tested INTP while being corporately employed about twenty years ago but, in typical fashion, was disinterested because I didn't care! Of course they wanted to make sure I was the computer geek I'm supposed to be. Problem has always been, though, while employed, I'd always step on toes - I'm sure that rings a bell around here - so I just actively began my own business... the rub is.. there's never anyone around but me! So.. just that by itself leads to depression. Compound that with a handful of dating experiences with women who can't keep up the conversation and... well..

After my divorce I started looking for answers.. I thought I was "odd" and that I might be mentally challenged or something. I actually took the time to read, ad nauseum, psychology including the MBTI. I even retested online to make sure. Yep - all the pages describing the challenges of being INTP were right there. You'd think that'd make it "all better" - there had to be a "check list" or a "drug" to fix it, right?

To help in social situations I'd drink - sometimes too much - but at least I was able to assimilate to some degree. I dated a girl who was terribly judgmental about it = you know - the extroverted type that sees ghosts, is spiritual, sees nothing wrong with being a "free spirit" and claims to be non judgmental but is the most judgmental? She's never take the time, despite specific emails with links, to learn about this... is "malady" or "mental illness" a way, sometimes, to describe INTPs socially? In any case, that's always frustrating.. particularly from those damn extroverts!

I'm here because I'm in a deep depression this week and need and outlet.. Just typing can lead to knew thoughts and better conclusions... perhaps this week I'll perfect a solar catalyst for creating hydrogen from water in the garage! Hey, don't laugh - I just saw a Nova episode where a guy did just that - photosynthesis to create electricity to extract the hydrogen.. I'd heard about it a while back, but that's the first time I'd seen in mainstream..

Anyway - thanks for creating the board. Right now, this second, I feel better although I'm sure it'll come back..

 

[not]

I have suffered with depression most of my life. But over time I started seeing the patterns. Usually results from lack of freedom and being stuck around idiots. Lack of money and lack of time to just do INTP type things. For example, I see myself slipping right now because I'm stuck doing a remedial repetitive task for an imbecile just to collect green paper that for some reason the world places enormous value on. I end up fighting my own mind because instead of just completing the tasks as fast and as painless as I possibly can, I tend to analyze every step for purpose. When I have enough of the green paper to not have to deal with imbeciles, and am free to work on whatever my mind wants to spend time on, I am perfectly happy and content. So, i.e., a pattern. Lack of freedom = depression. Money ends up being my drug of choice.

 

[crippli]

I find comfort in imagining myself as an ant. There exist no meaningless and repetitive task. Look further. Imagine that one day, all that carbon and biomass will make light when it all goes supernova, YOU will illuminate the universe. Go out at night and feel the stars. Go naked.