I like hard to get girls, why?

[WALKYRIA]

I have a problem, would you mind helping me?
well my problem is : I LOVE EVERY F*KIN good looking GIRL/ WOMAN I meet... actuallly i coudl sleep with all of them; but suddenly i realised they always want more from me and i just can't give my love/time to them... I just have no time for them. I'm sorry i like to play the gam, to chase girls in clubs, adventure,...Etc
Is this me or just every young INTP out there?
I like to chase hard to get **TJ's and mysterious adn complex INFJ's... Thus, i liek strippers, rich milfs, and marrid girls, what is it with me?

 

[Ink]

That's flirting, the chase, it's great...

 

[Absurdity]

what is it with me?

Nothing particularly unusual. This is a pretty standard human mating tactic.

These studies have found that women who are physically attractive, appear healthy and youthful, and are “hard to get” correlates with them being reproductively valuable to men. In other words, “playing hard to get” is a tactic used by women that show men that they are something to be valued and therefore are more desirable to men.

Women who “play hard to get” give the appearance that they are more selective in choosing a mate and will not just date (or for that matter mate) just any guy. We know from earlier blogs how high-maintenance women use this tactic in spades. This theory suggests that “playing hard to get” functions to test a man’s motivation, ability to invest resources (time, money, effort, etc.), and/or a sign of his fidelity. Therefore it is reasonable to assume that “playing hard to get” is a beneficial tactic for women to use.

Source

 

[Cherry Cola]

i like to play the gam, to chase girls in clubs, adventure,...Etc
Is this me or just every young INTP out there?
I like to chase hard to get **TJ's and mysterious adn complex INFJ's... Thus, i liek strippers, rich milfs, and marrid girls, what is it with me?

Wait, INTPs are out chasing girls in clubs and TJ's and INFJ's are strippers, rich milfs and married girls?

 

[WALKYRIA]

thanx for the answer...Is it really normal to ONLY go difficult girls? sometimes i find my self prefering a less beautiful but difficult girl to a sweet lady but more avalaible to men ... that's tricky and unfair somehow; does that have to do with our testosterone and the need of challenge or?

BUt i find that all the boys are not equally sensitive to this "hard to get " attitude..

Spoiler

ANd it work for men( but you must be sexy and you know it) too; I also play hard to get(ignoring girls, not listening, pretending am sleepy or too busy) and works more than it should, especially with beautiful girls... HEhe

 

[Ink]

Wait, INTPs are out chasing girls in clubs and TJ's and INFJ's are strippers, rich milfs and married girls?

it can be done!

 

[WALKYRIA]

Wait, INTPs are out chasing girls in clubs and TJ's and INFJ's are strippers, rich milfs and married girls?

I suspect so indeed.

 

[Brontosaurie]

the hardest to get is the best.

you're just not sublimating surrender yet.

 

[SpaceYeti]

No girls are hard to get. It's a game. Supply and demand. You want what you don't got. Be the jerk, ignore them, and see how many start the flirting. Girls are just like guys, just prettier.

 

[Latte]

In essence, you prefer to "get women"* who initially don't really like you enough or in the right way to have sex with you?

I won't claim it is the case when it comes to you, but some people who have this inclination are trying to prove to themselves and others that they are interpersonally competent and can exercise good manipulative control. It can give a sense of relative strength, competence, desirability and achievement. A distant cousin of trying to be good at video games, with a lot of social-cognitive side effects on oneself and those one includes in one's games.

I personally don't regard people who play hard to get as viable partners (nor hypothetically worth having a casual sexual relationship with). It implies an inclination for manipulation and a felt need for and being deserving of being disproportionately pursued. Someone like that is probably quite self-absorbed and might not even like me as much as the person likes feeling valued.

By playing the person's game one is saying one accepts that the person acting hard to get is more valuable as a partner than oneself to the degree to which one invests disproportionate effort. To turn it the other way around is to subject someone else to the same signals. To be a slave-junkie to this process looks quite ugly from this very negative outside perspective.

*Some of the normal ways of talking about other human beings are quite disconcerting to me as symptoms of aspects of a culture I'd rather not share the same universe with.

 

[WALKYRIA]

In essence, you prefer to "get women"* who initially don't really like you enough or in the right way to have sex with you?

yes, that's it... I prefer girls who make me struggle to get them, otherwise I feel like they are not worthy, and once they became easy and i got them... I hate them and quit them.
Actually like a love-hate relationship; same for music, i like hopeless harmony.. don't know why.


Maybe the problem has something to do with family issues(unloving parents?)? unsolved oedipian complex? why do you think INTp have such a wrong relation to love?

 

[Latte]

That's an interesting idea. I don't have any original angle towards the issue of how such tendencies emerge. Continued exploration of that topic in this thread would be nice.

 

[Hadoblado]

Nothing particularly unusual. This is a pretty standard human mating tactic.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

I find it hard to find women who I find interesting. ^_^

 

[WALKYRIA]

I find it hard to find women who I find interesting. ^_^

I think I see where you comin from , we live in a free world dude..

 

[SpaceYeti]

I find it hard to find women who I find interesting. ^_^

Boobies are totally interesting.

 

[WALKYRIA]

Boobies are totally interesting.

Right and the best stress reliever out there ...

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Simu...ake-Breast-Stress-Relieve-Ball/695520028.html

 

[Cognisant]

Biologically speaking there's a huge disparity in the potential time/effort investment, which dosen't reflect reality, in reality there's effective contraception so safe sex should be trivial, but it's not like that, so instead we've got this messed up situation where women only want particular guys, the highest quality of guy they believe themselves capable of getting, and guys are all perverts because we all want sex (well maybe not Proxy) but if a chick actually came up to one of us and said "How about it?" we'd freak out and assume there has to be something wrong with her because we've been traumatised by the usual difficulty of getting laid.

Or maybe that's just me

 

[WALKYRIA]

" in reality there's effective contraception so safe sex should be trivial, but it's not like that, so instead we've got this messed up situation where women only want particular guys"

Contraception is a very good thing, it decreases STD's and decreases n babies thus demography of earth, which is a good, evolutionnary speaking.... but; imagine later what the world will be, our kids will get laid at any time any moment, end of sexual selection, girls will lose their hard to get behaviours(and men will start to hate sex, thus end of civilisation), sex will be chaotic, family structure will get dismantled, end of our civilisation ... all becoz of contraception which is one of the most dangerous invention ever for our society.

Did people in the past cheat as much as today ? I doubt so.. If you did so back then , you got pregnant or a kid came out of nowhere calling you daddy or risked to chop STD's... now, who cares, nobody will ever know you messed around. Haha our world is going absolutely nowhere but we refuse to see it and continue acting like yestdy... pathetic existenz.

 

[BloodCountess88]

Wait, INTPs are out chasing girls in clubs and TJ's and INFJ's are strippers, rich milfs and married girls?

Puzzling indeed.

I've been to clubs a total of 4 times. To be honest I never found anyone who was intellectually stimulating at some club chasing women.

 

[Duxwing]

Contraception is a very good thing, it decreases STD's and decreases n babies thus demography of earth, which is a good, evolutionnary speaking.... but; imagine later what the world will be, our kids will get laid at any time any moment, end of sexual selection, girls will lose their hard to get behaviours(and men will start to hate sex, thus end of civilisation), sex will be chaotic, family structure will get dismantled, end of our civilisation ... all becoz of contraception which is one of the most dangerous invention ever for our society.

Did people in the past cheat as much as today ? I doubt so.. If you did so back then , you got pregnant or a kid came out of nowhere calling you daddy or risked to chop STD's... now, who cares, nobody will ever know you messed around. Haha our world is going absolutely nowhere but we refuse to see it and continue acting like yestdy... pathetic existenz.

Are you trolling?

-Duxwing

 

[Fukyo]

Are you trolling?

-Duxwing

Probably not. Plenty of people have this view. Reactionary neoconservatives, some Christians, the Manosphere.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I have a problem, would you mind helping me?
well my problem is : I LOVE EVERY F*KIN good looking GIRL/ WOMAN I meet... actuallly i coudl sleep with all of them;

Being attracted to females is one thing but

I'm sorry i like to play the gam, to chase girls in clubs, adventure,...Etc
Is this me or just every young INTP out there?
I like to chase hard to get **TJ's and mysterious adn complex INFJ's... Thus, i liek strippers, rich milfs, and marrid girls, what is it with me?

There is no way you can be serious about this. lol

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Has someone been watching Californication??

 

[Duxwing]

Probably not. Plenty of people have this view. Reactionary neoconservatives, some Christians, the Manosphere.

The view itself is certainly incorrect, but the torrent of illogic used to create it was so odd that I had a hard time believing someone to be so utterly devoid of reason as to actually believe it. Since I like to make these kinds of jokes (e.g., my self-deprecating sarcasm about my tendency to be patronizing) I asked if WALKYRIA were trolling.

-Duxwing

 

[The Introvert]

I have a hard time believing anyone here legitimately thinks this is not a troll.

 

[scorpiomover]

The challenge. It stops becoming interesting, when you become confident that you can generally get what you want in the rest of your life.

 

[Montresor]

Puzzling indeed.

I've been to clubs a total of 4 times. To be honest I never found anyone who was intellectually stimulating at some club chasing women.

To be fair, what would an intellectually stimulating individual be doing at a club?

Do you suppose that, if there was actually a "stimulating individual" there, they would have readily identified YOU?


Also, I like hard to get girls, when I finally get them. Or else I don't like it.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Exactly what do you do at a club to identify someone who's intellectually stimulating? Do they dance differently? Are they reading Plato while sipping a martini? Clubs aren't for intellectual discussion, dude. I mean, I've never met an intellectually stimulating person in the bathroom... I also don't go to the bathroom to talk, though.

You assholes get off your high horses.

 

[Montresor]

Exactly what do you do at a club to identify someone who's intellectually stimulating? Do they dance differently? Are they reading Plato while sipping a martini? Clubs aren't for intellectual discussion, dude. I mean, I've never met an intellectually stimulating person in the bathroom... I also don't go to the bathroom to talk, though.

You assholes get off your high horses.

'ey! u talkin' at me bro?

I was basically taking the same stance from a different approach.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Yo.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Exactly what do you do at a club to identify someone who's intellectually stimulating? Do they dance differently? Are they reading Plato while sipping a martini? Clubs aren't for intellectual discussion, dude. I mean, I've never met an intellectually stimulating person in the bathroom... I also don't go to the bathroom to talk, though.

You assholes get off your high horses.

hahahahah

 

[ObliviousGenius]

Lol at some of these responses. No, I don't think he's trolling because I'm the same way. If I see a pretty girl I will try to flirt with her literally every chance I get. I frequent clubs and the party scene for the sole purpose of getting girls. I get no enjoyment out of dancing and the club itself. I'm definitely not looking for intellectual stimulation for obvious reasons as stated earlier, I can get that elsewhere. I'm just too attracted to women. It's a greater force than any shyness or introversion I might be feeling, especially if I'm drunk.

Hard to get girls are so much fun. I think it's my Ti at work here. It's a game to figure out and I'm always better than the girl because Ti-Ne and past experience. Once I do, it's not as fun anymore (besides the rewards for winning lol).

 

[Montresor]

DID IT OCCUR TO ANYBODY THAT YOU'RE FUCKING INTP AND THEREFORE ALL GIRLS ARE HARD TO GET SO IF YOU ARE A HETEROSEXUAL MALE INTP YOU AUTOMATICALLY LIKE HARD-TO-GET GIRLS.

 

[WALKYRIA]

I've been to clubs a total of 4 times. To be honest I never found anyone who was intellectually stimulating at some club chasing women.

U don't like clubs becoz u don't know the rules, it's the same as school... once you know the rules, it becomes really fun to go and kiss around, pick up the horny sexy girls.. U might get addicted though.

Your biaised thinking makes me laugh... People don't go in clubs to talk about Napoleon or Einstein, it's not relevant. Perhaps do you know one " socially normal" girl who has never been in club? Well, u see... u can find about evrhting in a club, from the dumbest to the most intelligent; in some clubs youll find even highly educated people(but many times they are limited in fun by their higher status); it depends were you go.


Also I don't think it's necessary to reduce INTP's to solely "intellectual stimulation" seekers; If I want some intellectual stimulation- experience taught me that I wont find it around me or in normal people; they are not interested - so I go to intellectual clubs/fora(philosophy cafes, psychology club, INTP forum,...etc) where we discuss some interesting topics.
I believe INTPs are so much more than nerds, let's not let our entourage define our boundaries...

 

[WALKYRIA]

DID IT OCCUR TO ANYBODY THAT YOU'RE FUCKING INTP AND THEREFORE ALL GIRLS ARE HARD TO GET SO IF YOU ARE A HETEROSEXUAL MALE INTP YOU AUTOMATICALLY LIKE HARD-TO-GET GIRLS

yo, what's the problem dude?

 

[Montresor]

hmm? oh no problem.


You tell me, what's the problem, dude?

Was it that I used the fuck word or that I used CAPS?

 

[Absurdity]

DID IT OCCUR TO ANYBODY THAT YOU'RE FUCKING INTP AND THEREFORE ALL GIRLS ARE HARD TO GET SO IF YOU ARE A HETEROSEXUAL MALE INTP YOU AUTOMATICALLY LIKE HARD-TO-GET GIRLS.

Got a good laugh out of this. Not always true though, at least for me. There's usually some low-hanging fruit, assuming I'm not too oblivious to miss it entirely.

 

[Montresor]

yo, what's the problem dude?

oh oh oh oh oh!!!

the problem is that I used a period instead of a question mark!

[bimgx=250]http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/entertainment_tv_tvblog/files/2013/02/sheldon1.jpg[/bimgx]

 

[SpaceYeti]

DID IT OCCUR TO ANYBODY THAT YOU'RE FUCKING INTP AND THEREFORE ALL GIRLS ARE HARD TO GET SO IF YOU ARE A HETEROSEXUAL MALE INTP YOU AUTOMATICALLY LIKE HARD-TO-GET GIRLS.

Girls aren't hard to get, though. In fact, girls are generally very easy to get. How would being a clever(Ti), witty(Ti Ne), charming(Ne) INTP make girls difficult to get? All you have to do is drop the second guessing and start flirting. It's not a big mystery, or anything.

 

[SpaceYeti]

Got a good laugh out of this. Not always true though, at least for me. There's usually some low-hanging fruit, assuming I'm not too oblivious to miss it entirely.

Low hanging fruit nothing, we're fucking giraffes!

 

[Absurdity]

Low hanging fruit nothing, we're fucking giraffes!

I hear the jury is still out on how our necks grew so long

 

[SpaceYeti]

I hear the jury is still out on how our necks grew so long

Nope, just some people disagree with the jury.

 

[Montresor]

In fact, there is no disagreement whatsoever about how the necks grew so long.

The question is why?

Some say it's because we can't compete for any of the fruit that hangs at ground level so we need to look a little higher up, where the fruit is sparse, but also more plump and juicy (and that's not always a good thing either, eh Dux).

 

[redbaron]

I've been to clubs a total of 4 times. To be honest I never found anyone who was intellectually stimulating at some club chasing women.

Just going to point out that there's a reason, which is that the guys who are 'chasing women' are always the desperate ones.

If you go out it should be to have a good time, which shouldn't necessarily entail hooking up. The guys who go out to try and get laid are just pathetic, and coincidentally it's almost like they have a beacon on their head, and women nearly always turn them away (probably to do with the way they leer at every hot girl that passes them by, which is noticed by more people than they realise).

Usually the people who hook up at clubs aren't even really trying that hard, they're just doing their thing. Which has a dual-effect, people see them around the venue, talking to different people, laughing, dancing and having fun.

Anyway just pointing out that not everyone goes to clubs for the sole purpose of chasing around women, which was probably her point, that those guys who are there just trying to get into her pants are dull/pathetic. Not that there's no intellectually stimulating people at clubs at all.

Of course, I should have expected that a bunch of INTP's would be dumb enough to ignore context in order to have the opportunity to try and shoot down someone else's argument.

 

[Brontosaurie]

If you go out it should be to have a good time, which shouldn't necessarily entail hooking up. The guys who go out to try and get laid are just pathetic, and coincidentally it's almost like they have a beacon on their head, and women nearly always turn them away (probably to do with the way they leer at every hot girl that passes them by, which is noticed by more people than they realise).

what can one do

it would be more pathetic to wilfully look away right? there should be no shame in appreciating beauty.

might be mistaken. feel free to correct me.

 

[redbaron]

what can one do

it would be more pathetic to wilfully look away right? there should be no shame in appreciating beauty.

might be mistaken. feel free to correct me.

It's fine to look, I'm not saying people can't look. But at least have some reason for being there, other than just to leer at and try to get into women's pants, and it's pretty obvious when guys are there for that purpose only.

 

[Latte]

Of course, I should have expected that a bunch of INTP's would be dumb enough to ignore context in order to have the opportunity to try and shoot down someone else's argument.

what can one do

it would be more pathetic to wilfully look away right? there should be no shame in appreciating beauty.

might be mistaken. feel free to correct me.

 

[Brontosaurie]

It's fine to look, I'm not saying people can't look. But at least have some reason for being there, other than just to leer at and try to get into women's pants, and it's pretty obvious when guys are there for that purpose only.

and that is flawed just by the social standards of sexual preference and the counterproductivity of desperation, or in some other way? "pathetic" is an intense word.

i perceive night clubs and similar situations primarily as dating venues.

 

[Brontosaurie]

1. i'm not shooting anyone down.

2. i'm not ignoring context. my question applies to many contexts, this one included.