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How to be an Happy INTP

XIII

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Ok, so I've been doing some research and talking with the 2 INTPs I know to work out how to make INTPs happier. I know some of you don't think that you want to be happy, that's ok, but really now :)! So

The first way to make INTPs happier is siliness. INTPs always seem to get caught up in these huge mazes in their minds, and sometimes they hit a rough spot and think that the entire everything results upon them solving the problemm in their mind. Well I've had that a few times in my life as well (but probably not as much as most of you) and the best way to solve it is to not take it so seriously! I know there are loads of books around implying that hapiness is impossible, btu that's because happy people don't write the kind of books that unhappy ones read! They all take it so seriously! Look, we're all just floating around in the sky without much idea of what's going on with anything, so we migth as well ligthen up and realise that we can have fun while we do it! I think that most wars and things depend from people taking everything too seriously and not having had enough fun and kindness and play. So whenever you get caught up in a maze or big problem in your mind, just let your attention drift off into play or fun. Use your beatiful Ne (I use mine all the time and I'm usually happy... it works ;)).

OK the second way which is kind of the same is to work on being friendly and knowing about small talk and social nicities. It's like a dance, see. Most INTPs want to skip all the middle steps and just dance the last move. That's kind of silly for people who are so good at logic :D. You need to do the little steps and be friendly and put on a face first before you get to the big ones and have really good and understanding friends to support you! I know loads of INTPs have hardened themselves against this... and I understand why.... but any of you can really have a lot more fun if you just learn to dance the first steps before the last ones :p.

Ok the third way is a kind of yoga I learned about when I was in China. I got to know this girl whose father was a martial artist, and she taught me how to do it. It can take a lot of effort, but it actually instantly makes you feel good. I know you migth think that you would know about it already if it worked but it actually does work... of course it won't keep you happy the whole day all the time... but it makesyou more happy most of the time and always loving and happy and sexy while you're doing it. Ok I'll try and describe it the best I can:

Her'e some general info...
It's about remembring intense moments of emotion, than feelign what the physical feeling is of those emotions, then moving that feeling all around your body. She said it was tantra but there's no sex... although if you and somebody of the other sex or the sex you're attracted to do it at the same time things will probably happen :D. You remember the intense emotion and then let go of the memory but keep the emotion and then move the feeling aroudn your whole body as you breathe. Once you've been doing it for a week or so it feels so blissful ritght from the beginning to the end :).

Here's detailed info...
There are 7 emotions. Do 3 or more breaths in and out for each emotion. It's best to do it while sitting in half-lotus or whatever sitting position is comfortable for you. The emotions (some of them aren't really emotions, they're a little different) are:
1. Relaxation
2. Pride in an achievment
3. Side-splitting laughter
4. Love
5. Deep gratitude
6. ''sexual ecstasy''... like the most amazing sexual experience you've had. It doesn't have to be sex... it can be a beatiful kiss or orgasm or any memory that brings up the good feeling.
7. Complete awe at the universe.

For the first one... Clench your toes really really tight. Then relax. Then clench them really really tight. Then relax. Finally clench them so tight they hurt. Then relax. Now you feel that feeling of relaxation and freedom from tension in your toes? Good. Take a deep breath and move that feeling up through your leg (I know this might sound funny, but it really works). Feel it relax every muscle as it moves up through your calvs and thighs and then waist and then stomach and then chest and then shoulders... and then let it flow down into your arms and then back up into your head. As it goes up to your head, feel it flow over the back of your head and then over the top to your face. And then feel it relaxing the muscles of your forehead deeply and then your cheeks and chin. Then mix the feeling with your saliva (don't try to understand it, just do it :p) and swallow it down into your stomach and move it around inside your body.

That's the breath in. I know it seems like a lot to do in one breath but you get used to doing it quickly with time.

Then you breath out and feel the feeling slowly moving back down to your feet. The top of your body will be more relaxed than it was before, but slightly less relaxed than the bits where you're moving the feeling to. The feeling can either be in only one bit of your body or in your whole body at once... don't think about it too much, just get used to it and play with it. The feeling will end up at the soles of your feet.

That's one breath. Do 3 for each of the 7 emotions.


Relaxation is a bit different than the others. With the others you do this:

Vividly remember some time you felt that emotion (or the closest thing you've had to it) really strongly. Make the pictures and sounds big and bright, and feel where the emotion is physically in your body. This may seem a little hard at first, but you'll get sensitive to it if you practice. Ok, now make it as big and bright and strong as you possibly can. Fill your body and mind wiht it.... when I do this I sometimes cry from the overwhelming joy of it.... then let go of the memory and just keep the feeling. Keep the feeling without the memory....

then move the feeling down to your toes. Now take your first breath in and move it up and around your body like you did with relaxation... when it reaches your face, feel the smile on your face grow big and wide. Remember that you smile real smiles with the cheek muscles just below you eyes, not with your mouth and teeth. Smiling will actually make the feeling stronger. Once you've moved it all around and swallowed it down, breath out and let it go back down to your toes. Do this 3 times with all of the feelings.

A few more things... when you breath in, try to take as big a breath as possible and push your belly out. This helps the feeling to move according to my Chinese friend :D. When you breath out, let our stomach come really far in so it's like you're squeezing all the air out and squeezing the feeling down to your feet. It might not seem like you have enough breath to move the feeling around your whole body during one breath at first, but just do the best you can and it will come with time.


Now INTPs :D. If you learn how to do that, you can use it whenever you get serious and depressed. It won't make everything perfect, but it will stop you feeling bad and let you be a more happy and loving person:D. Don't try to argue with it because it just works and you'll see that if you try it for a while. The first two or three times are always the hardest, and it just gets better and better every time you do it after that.


Anyway no matter if you take my advice or not, you're all awesome people anwyay. I feel so priveliged to have a forum with so many geniuses just a click away :p. Please don't be too harsh with me if you disagree... I'm just trying to help and make people happy and I really can't argue as well as you.

All I can say is that I and some people who I know and wanted to help do this every day (I do it twice actually) and it makes us way more happier and friendly and loving. You just kind of glow when you're doing this all the time, and people just seem to like you way more! I have no idea how it works :D
 

Melkor

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answer to this thread:


Don't.

and it's a happy Intp, not an happy intp.

Idiot.
 
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She/He offers help, we tell her/him that he/she is an idiot. Bastards.

i feel ever so slightly uneasy myself, however...
 

XIII

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It's ok I really don't mind so long as one person reads one sentence of this and is a little happier for it. I don't even mind if nobody tries the yoga, even though it is a very good way to be happy whenever you want (even though you can't do it all the time of course... it can get rid of really bad or down moods whenever you want).
 

Cegorach

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I think if somebody reads this and it improves their life, I'm sure they'll post how much they appreciated it.
All I can do is pray to God that you don't get a single positive reply and that your heart re-shrivels back to it's INTP state.:D

Oh, and I kinda wanna make you cry...
 

XIII

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I think if somebody reads this and it improves their life, I'm sure they'll post how much they appreciated it.
All I can do is pray to God that you don't get a single positive reply and that your heart re-shrivels back to it's INTP state.:D

Oh, and I kinda wanna make you cry...

I MADE YOU SMILE '':D'' :D:D:D. Hehehehe.
 

Cegorach

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Fuck You!:D Hehehehe.
 

XIII

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answer to this thread:


Don't.

and it's a happy Intp, not an happy intp.

Idiot.

I'm really sorry. I try hard to put my thoughts in order and do correct grammar, but it's much harder for me. I'll just say again... I really do think that what I talked about above (all 3 things, actually) really works and will help anybody who tries it. I thought maybe you would all be able to get what I was trying to say, even if I didn't say it clearly. If any specific sentence or paragraph isn't clear, just ask me and I'll try to rephrase it more carefully.
 

preilemus

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I decide to stay off this forum for a measly 5 hours, and now I dont even recognize the damn place

EDIT: overstatement. I was just overwhelmed with Crimson_Knight's upheaval of the lounge. and not to mention XIII's upheaval of himself
 

brain enclosed in flesh

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Man you guys are bastards. She's just trying to be helpful. Although I must say it kind of makes me doubt your INTPness, XIII. But maybe that's what happens when you're a happy INTP.

I don't know. I consider myself to be pretty happy. The Ne is a big part. Silly is good. But all the colored text and emoticons....?

Maybe not the best way to spread your message to us? (Although I appreciate the effort.)
 

XIII

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:) I'm not an INTP (look at my sig ;)). Llots of what I say doesn't seem right unless I include the faces. Even the first sentence of this post just seems cold and agressive without them. I make them when I talk, so I have to when I type to get my message across. I think you're right, I didn't express myself in the right way... but I'm really not sure how else to? I can't say these things in a really structured way because that's not what they're about or what I'm about.

p.s. I'm not a she either, just in case anybody gets confused. < that's probably something like how I'd look if I was a girl though- it's like a kind of portrait of my emotions.
 
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how strange. how very strange.

i personally think an ENFP or two would benefit the forum :phear:
 

flow

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Yes but an ENFP explaining to INTPs how to be happy? Bold. I look forward to XIII's interpretation of the INFJ.
 

brain enclosed in flesh

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ENFP! Okay, now you make sense. I tend to not look at those mypersonality.info things. It seems so overt or blatant or something, like they disclose too much.

How do INTPs become happy? Hmm. Reliable relationships are good. Making sure that you do something outside or get some form of exercise on occasion- but not too much, that's way too draining.

Learn about things, but find some way to be constructive- not always, necessarily, but somewhat.

Try to understand that some structure and routine is good and try to master it. (Still haven't figured this one out.)

Find a safe way to release feelings. My way is playing guitar and singing when I'm alone. If others are around I get too self-conscious and worry that I'm not good enough and it has the opposite effect.

Anyone else have ideas?
 

preilemus

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listening to some good music

it probably wont change your mood, but at least make you content with it. this helps me because i know happiness isnt one of my short term goals
 

Carnap

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Ok, although I found you a little perverted before, I just can't handle that avatar anymore.

Is there a happy medium?
 

Fedayeen

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I don't even mind if nobody tries the yoga, even though it is a very good way to be happy whenever you want (even though you can't do it all the time of course... it can get rid of really bad or down moods whenever you want).

Well I am not doing that. :D
 

XIII

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how strange. how very strange.

i personally think an ENFP or two would benefit the forum :phear:

:D

ENFP! Okay, now you make sense. I tend to not look at those mypersonality.info things. It seems so overt or blatant or something, like they disclose too much.

Yeah and I can't even answer the questions properly without worrying about which one I would prefer to be... I don't think I could ever work out my real type :confused:

Ok, although I found you a little perverted before, I just can't handle that avatar anymore.

Is there a happy medium?

Sorry Carnap I don't understand what you mean... cheer up though :)
 

XIII

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Carnap I felt like maybe you were feeling sad, so I spent a little while finding pictures about your name :). I hope it makes up for whatever was getting you down before!

2007-04-12Jennaasleepincar.jpg


20050726232834_car_asleep.jpg


1977887319_40e8b63a52.jpg


1-rusty-asleep2.jpg
 

Fedayeen

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Why does one need to be happy?

I am neither happy nor sad (or whatever opposite to happy you want to use) I am merely content, what is wrong with that?
 

Sapphire Harp

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Why does one need to be happy?

I am neither happy nor sad (or whatever opposite to happy you want to use) I am merely content, what is wrong with that?
It is rather draining sometimes, isn't it? I would like to think that there is something wrong in being a 'person who is adverse to happiness', however? Expressed as a positive construct - a curmudgeon or something like that?
 

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@ XIII-II I bet your favorite hobbies are bursting out into song and befriending cute woodland creatures.

Happiness is too vague of a term in my opinion. For an INTP I think our version of happiness would be akin to 'curiosity' or 'amused sarcasm.'
 

Ermine

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@ XIII-II I bet your favorite hobbies are bursting out into song and befriending cute woodland creatures.

Happiness is too vague of a term in my opinion. For an INTP I think our version of happiness would be akin 'curiosity' or 'amused sarcasm.'
Either that or intellectual epiphanies. Who doesn't love those?
 

Fedayeen

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It is rather draining sometimes, isn't it? I would like to think that there is something wrong in being a 'person who is adverse to happiness', however? Expressed as a positive construct - a curmudgeon or something like that?

what is draining?

You quoted me, but I don't see how what you said has anything to do with what I said.
 

Waterstiller

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I wonder if this thread proves that silliness by itself doesn't work to make INTPs happy. :confused:



Anyways, in all seriousness I have been alternating between joyful and serene for the past few days. I started to dip back into depression last night but luckily I caught it. I'm even starting to have good dreams; this morning I woke up from getting the best kiss I've ever had from a friend I just realized I loved.

Things that keep me feeling well:
Daydreaming / visualization
Reading
Telling people what I love and admire about them
My room that I've decorated
Quiet
Sentimental things / memory hunting
Giving and receiving massages
Exercise (I'm bad with this one)
Fresh Fruit, Cereal, tea..

These things stop working the further I get into depression though so it's best for me to monitor how I'm feeling very closely. I've never felt so glad to be alive. I'll post the experiences that led to me feeling joy as soon as I'm sure I have a grip on my depression; I wouldn't want to conclude my 'knowing you're going to do it' thread prematurely.
 

echoplex

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While it's a huge load of suggestions being given, I think it can be summed up like this: Don't forget to feel good. Don't forget the importance of pleasure. It's okay to enjoy something merely for the sake of enjoying it. Not everything has to be based on figuring out what's "true" or managing one's own sense of logical consistency. Not realizing this may lead an INTP to become bitter. Then again, it may not; I don't know.

Basically, don't become too attached to Ti.
 

Toad

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I just realized you are an ENFP...and I'm going to continue to think of you as a woman.

Anyways...I don't really feel like being happy all the time is the best thing. I feel that having a range of emotion is much more healthy.

I also feel that being content is much better than being "just" happy. Because happiness will come and go, but being content with life sticks with you.

I think for an INTP, even though we are "anti-social", relationships are the key. They keep us connected to the real world. I've noticed when my relationship with my friends, family, and gf are good that I am pretty happy. I might not talk or see them everyday, but just knowing that they are there for me and that I am there for them makes me feel good.
 

echoplex

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Be content, but never be satisfied.

And I agree that a range of emotions is most healthy. Sadness can be nice because it often takes something nice to make you feel sad. Every emotion is basically a purely raw expression of one's desire/will, so it's hard to imagine that anyone would be one emotion all the time. Life's experiences are too varied for that.
 

brain enclosed in flesh

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yeah, being happy all of the time- not something I really want. I was REALLY happy for awhile. Lots of craziness went down and the next thing I knew I was being told I was bipolar.

Contentment is good. A healthy range. I kind of wonder if the words 'happy' and 'INTP' can be used together all that often. But I guess it depends on your definition of happy.
 

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I'm happiest when tettering on the boundary between sleep and wakefullness, when dreams still breath on their own but I am not a prisoner to them.
 

Beat Mango

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I'm happiest when tettering on the boundary between sleep and wakefullness, when dreams still breath on their own but I am not a prisoner to them.

Me too actually, and I've been experiencing it a lot more these days thanks to anxiety-related fatigue.

I'm also happy: when the Raiders win, when in the presence of certain females, after a long day's work, after a solid workout, when driving (especially at night), when listening to good music, when playing good music, after completing a task, when engrossed in a task, when around people I love, on payday, after having a caffeinated drink... there's a lot that makes me happy actually.
 

Beat Mango

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These things stop working the further I get into depression though so it's best for me to monitor how I'm feeling very closely. I've never felt so glad to be alive. I'll post the experiences that led to me feeling joy as soon as I'm sure I have a grip on my depression; I wouldn't want to conclude my 'knowing you're going to do it' thread prematurely.

I've found that prevention is the best medicine for depression. One I'm in its grasp I just have to wait it out, but I can manage it pretty well these days by taking action when I feel it coming on - the best things being some sun and a heavy workout, or maybe a sleep (I almost always feel different when I wake up). I was on anti-depressants from age 15 to 23 but have been off them for two years now. Proactive strategies! If I could just work out how to avoid anxiety...
 

Nevermind

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The thing with allowing yourself to be happy is, you have to expose yourself to your emotions. You have to have to leave your shelter to feel the sun's warmth, and, in exchange, you put yourself at risk for numerous things.

I want to be happy, but I don't want to experience the inevitable crash.

When I stay within the logical shelter of my mind, I don't really get depressed, but I don't really feel very "happy" either.

Also, emotion makes me less rational, and therefore more likely to screw things up and make my life more miserable than it already is.

The close friends I have are few and precious. I can't afford to risk losing them after some uncontrolled emotional outburst. I care for them more than anything in the world; they are the ones who keep me sane(if you can call it that), and it's only with these people that I can even come close to being truly happy. The most severe depressions I've ever experienced were during times in which I felt I had no real close friends. I don't want to go back to that.

Ok, I'm going on and on.. blah blah..
Just my view, my rationalization of my behavior.
I just came up with all that in the last 5 minutes, totally improv. The scary thing is, it makes a lot of sense.
 

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thanks for your attempt to help but i think ill find other things to do. you ideas simply wont work for me on a personal level. it has nothing to do with me being an intp.
 

Sapphire Harp

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what is draining?

You quoted me, but I don't see how what you said has anything to do with what I said.

I think expressing joy is subtly draining for us - we notice it after.

I was just adding what I thought was an addendum for clarification, as we have three options:
Those who expect to be happy, those who expect to be miserable, and those who expect something else.

It seemed all too easy for someone to misinterpret you into the second.

 

Kuu

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Contentment is good. A healthy range. I kind of wonder if the words 'happy' and 'INTP' can be used together all that often.

Indeed. Like matter and anti-matter; for an INTP to be happy, the rest of the world has to be in total, chaotic collapse, so one can revel in the destruction. Creative destruction and all that, the opportunity to create anew that which was flawed. Or perhaps I just have a twisted, morbid mind...
 

Fedayeen

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There is an easier way to make an INTP happy. Inject them with endorphin.



I think expressing joy is subtly draining for us - we notice it after.

I was just adding what I thought was an addendum for clarification, as we have three options:
Those who expect to be happy, those who expect to be miserable, and those who expect something else.

It seemed all too easy for someone to misinterpret you into the second.


I did say niether happy not the opposite to help clarify i dont fall into spot number 2.
 

Toad

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We need to understand the difference between temporary happiness and good emotional long term health.
 

QSR

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Striving to be happy seems a little daft. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. For instance I'm happy when my team wins, or when I find a $20 in the laundry. Most of the time I want to be intellectually stimulated or amused, but happiness doesn't really describe it.
 

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If I could just work out how to avoid anxiety...
Social anxiety?

I'm working on that one.

QSR said:
or when I find a $20 in the laundry.
I love it when that happens.


Is there a difference in quality between happiness that can be attained through deliberate action and happiness as the result of random good fortune?
 

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We need to understand the difference between temporary happiness and good emotional long term health.

That. That's what I mean when I say content- emotional long term health. I think because emotions are feelings we don't understand so well, we can get a sort of rush from them- a high. And we can think, oh- this is what people mean when they say 'happy'- give me more. And we'll continue feeding that emotion, whatever it is- sadness, rage, as well- maybe also because we figure the longer we experience it, the more time we'll have to examine it and understand it- disregarding the fact that it is damaging others we care about and ourselves.

Or maybe that's just me, not an INTP thing.


Originally posted by Tekton
Like matter and anti-matter; for an INTP to be happy, the rest of the world has to be in total, chaotic collapse, so one can revel in the destruction. Creative destruction and all that, the opportunity to create anew that which was flawed. Or perhaps I just have a twisted, morbid mind...

But I think they call that mania, not happiness. It's possible we don't know how to delineate between the two.
 

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Indeed. Like matter and anti-matter; for an INTP to be happy, the rest of the world has to be in total, chaotic collapse, so one can revel in the destruction. Creative destruction and all that, the opportunity to create anew that which was flawed. Or perhaps I just have a twisted, morbid mind...

I don't require destruction, but I like my orderly chaos, and I always have to have contrast, assuming I'm on the positive end of the spectrum. However, I will admit that I am oddly content watching destructive storms, huge race car accidents, explosions, etc. I'm not sure why.
 

XIII

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Guys is it ok if I repost a post I made form another thread in here?
 

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Only if it's horribly depressing...
 

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I don't feel that you should need permission to do that nor that I have any right to claim that authority. I haven't read the forum rules though, I never do but maybe there is something in them to say you need to do this (seems unlikely to me).

So if you want to then do it :)
 

XIII

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Thanks :)


Here it is...
people react badly to happiness at first because it hurts that somebody else is happy and they seem like liars for it. Unhappy people believe, deep down, that unhappy is basically how humans are... anyway, the skepticism usually doesnt last. The best way to help others by happy is to be happy and understanding and forward... and not to believe that unhappiness is who they are... but still to recognise their feelings and not reject them. Most unhappy people (so most most people everywhere) don't express their hurting openly because they're so afraid that it will be rejected. They have all kind of stories they tell themselves and ways of making it seem like the whole universe makes them being unhappy the only way it could be... just as a way of dealing with their fear (which is with good reason)...

see loads of INTPs on here say that INTPs can't be happy but that's because lots of people who come to forums like these does it because people don't recognise or accept who they are in real life... and that's not a happy way to be. There are very happy and very motivated INTPs around but they don't think of themselvs in the same way as INTPs who think ''I'm and INTP so I can't be happy''.

I hope nobody minds if I post this in my hapiness thread as well. It might seem a little wierd so I'll wait for an answer before I do.
 

brain enclosed in flesh

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Thanks :)


Here it is...
people react badly to happiness at first because it hurts that somebody else is happy and they seem like liars for it. Unhappy people believe, deep down, that unhappy is basically how humans are... anyway, the skepticism usually doesnt last. The best way to help others by happy is to be happy and understanding and forward... and not to believe that unhappiness is who they are... but still to recognise their feelings and not reject them. Most unhappy people (so most most people everywhere) don't express their hurting openly because they're so afraid that it will be rejected. They have all kind of stories they tell themselves and ways of making it seem like the whole universe makes them being unhappy the only way it could be... just as a way of dealing with their fear (which is with good reason)...

see loads of INTPs on here say that INTPs can't be happy but that's because lots of people who come to forums like these does it because people don't recognise or accept who they are in real life... and that's not a happy way to be. There are very happy and very motivated INTPs around but they don't think of themselvs in the same way as INTPs who think ''I'm and INTP so I can't be happy''.

I hope nobody minds if I post this in my hapiness thread as well. It might seem a little wierd so I'll wait for an answer before I do.

I object! Not that you posted it, but I most politely disagree.

When I said I wasn't sure if INTP and happiness go together, what I meant was I think an INTP's true happiness is markedly different than it can be for other types. HAPPY!!! can feel uncomfortable, which is profoundly unhappy. I have been on mood stabilizers for over two years now. I am not depressed. I am not HAPPY!!! I just am. In other words, I am content. And I think that is a far superlative feeling to HAPPY!!! (For me.) Therefore, not to make gross assumptions across the board or anything, but I can't help but postulate that perhaps the feeling of contentment is preferable to the feeling of HAPPY!!! It doesn't get in the way of my thinking or researching or whatever I'm focused on, and I also feel like I am a more objective, selfless individual.
 

XIII

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Ahhh what you're saying sounds logical but I don't like it because I'm only about making other people happy.... I don't know what to think
 
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