how important is touch?

[Ghost1986]

wasebt sure if i should put this here or in human relationships.

any

how...

ok earlier today i was feeling sad and somewhat depressed. as i lied there in bed i let my mind wander and it kept going to the idea of having another person either a child or sex partner to touch and hold. in the process of these pathetic depressing thoughts i came to the realization that i often go days with out touching another human. i would bet the the most physical contact with other people i get is during my martial arts class. as this came to mind, my growing sadness i was swept aside and i got out of bed to look some stuff up on the importance of human touch!

i love how my brain condiders useless info more important than depression lol!

any how my inital search cme up with this

http://www.mindpub.com/art173.htm

it talks mostly abput how infants can die due to not feeling "loved".

and

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0675/is_n6_v9/ai_11489808/

it is one has more of what i wanted.

it talks a bit about how touch can relieve stress, ideas for incorporating more touch in your life and how people are more comfortable with touch tend to be less like me or more trusting and less suspicious of other people.

as for me personally i dont want to be touched by anyone. and if i am touched it usually do sent feel great. although it do sent feel bad either. it just plain feels unnatural and i would prefer people not touch me until i start touching them. i can only name a handful of people whose touch i welcome all of whome are women.(iam more hostile twords men but i dont know whay). eve with these women i may like their touch but i would still prefer to touch them.for me having them strip to bra and panties and getting on the bed for a massage it more pleasing than they other way around and getting a massauge from them. i would assume thats due to me being in control most likely.

another piece of info i was given years ago by a teacher is that all people should be touched 10-14 times a day. if this were true i am seriously missing my daily touch ration. also besides me i would say most people in more individualist nations would be the same way. i thinking that from watching other students here at the university. the students from the more collectivist nations seem more likely to touch and i would say in my point of view they touch too much. but that's just me.

well its late and iam going to stop rambling incoherently.

do you have any thoughts?

do you like being touch in general or just by certain people?

do you find certain groups more to your liking> ie gender, toddlers, old people, ect.

any info you have would be great.

 

[asdfasdfasdfsdf]

this is funny.
because every night i have a hard time sleeping.
and a while ago, i thought "all i really want from another person, is a teddy bear, that doesnt add shitton of problems to my life"
i think those are pretty low demands, but it seems everyone is high maintenance these days.
but yes, i know exactly what you feel, and i suffer from a lack of touch as well.

 

[echoplex]

*sigh* I can relate. 10-14 times a day is too much though. Perhaps that's good for ESxPs, but just one really good touch per day would be enough for me. (and no, I don't necessarily mean anything sexual. A hug at the right time with the right person works fine)

Of course, like you said, the irony is that I don't usually like being touched at all. Perhaps it's our lack of Se and Te that makes it hard for us to just accept touch for touch's sake. For us, I think it tends to carry with it alot of emotional residue. It sparks our Fe a little too much at times and makes us uncomfortable. For that reason, I have a hard time touching anyone I don't reeeeeally like.

 

[Chimera]

Depending on my mood...
a: I hate people touching me. If they get close, I will physically tense up and move away, even if it's just an inch or so. I have a friend that is very touchy-feely and she enjoys randomly leaning close to me when we're sitting at lunch, which I detest because she's not someone I want touching me. I have specific people allowed into my personal bubble; if someone else disturbs it, it will not go well. ​

b: My body is starved for contact. Sometimes I'll be sitting near a friend and just have the urge to put my arm around them or rest my head on their shoulder or something. I don't, of course, because to be honest I'm afraid they'll reject the contact like I normally would. I'm getting better about that though. And in this mood if someone initiates contact with me, I'm surprised but almost immediately relax and savor the moment.​

I identify very strongly with the whole "under my quota for touch" thing. I have for a while now. And it's so fun being in high school surrounded by couples constantly holding each other...every time I see them when I'm feeling touch-deprived, I literally feel my heart get a little colder.​

 

[Da Blob]

The word, intimacy, refers to a touching relationship. Touch is a form of nonverbal communication that is extremely important for most individuals. I think that, myself, and others on the forum, suffer from some kind of 'touching blindness'. I usually view the occasional touch more as a threat than an opportunity for intimacy.

Yet it seems that touching and being touched by people seems to open the door for all sorts of emotions, most of which, I do not like to deal with. I think some of the worst experiences of my life have been involved with touching and being touched by a lover that was a practiced liar in the language of touching. She knew where all the buttons were to touch to make me feel important and loved. However, it was all just an objective ploy on her part to (literally) manipulate me into doing everything she wanted me to do, which basically seemed to comprise of spending my entire income to keep her pleased and within touching distance... It is bad enough to have to deal with someone who tells falsehoods with words, those are just symbols. The ones that falsely use intimacy and touching in a cold-hearted manner seem to betray at an entirely more fundamental level...

Yet, when we try to describe beauty, we still use the phrase "I was 'touched' by that"(?)

 

[transformers]

Daily touch quota? Tell me you're kidding. People aren't robots with a fixed number of hugs or pats on the shoulder needed everyday, it's going to vary from situation to situation. Personally, I don't mind getting touched, as long as the person doing the touching is someone I know very well such as a girlfriend or a family member or close friend. Otherwise it is awkward. But I generally don't have a problem with it, as I know some people are just touchy feely like that.

 

[SEPKA]

I don't think I have touched anyone (except punching people who irritate me or bumping into people on the street) or being touched (except getting slapped) for over 9 months. Yet I have never feel depressed, not at all. There are people like to touch around here, but I just stay away from them, and ready to jab someone in the chest if they trying to do a bear hold. I think whatever that study is (sorry I cannot load the article) it must have been done on a small sample size, or it only consider the mean without considering the extreme, or it is not scientific at all.

 

[The Lurker]

I identify very strongly with the whole "under my quota for touch" thing. I have for a while now. And it's so fun being in high school surrounded by couples constantly holding each other...every time I see them when I'm feeling touch-deprived, I literally feel my heart get a little colder.​

I don't think I could have described myself much better. The number one things I miss from having a relationship were just the simple things: holding hands, a well-timed embrace...Few things could improve my mood more.

 

[Minuend]

I suppose months go by without me touching or getting touched. My mother hugs me when I go home for a visit. Since I'm studying some hours away, I only visit once every two months or so. It's ok that my family hug me, but I wouldn't mind not being hugged. It's often awkward, depending on the person. I do not like strangers touching me. I don't think touching is horrible, I have a neutral relationship to it, I think. It's been a while since I've been touched, so I can't remember. I think strangers touching me would freak me out a little.

 

[morricone]

No hugs or stuff like that for me for at least a few months (I don't keep an account of that, should I?). Just the (in my country) usual handshake the first time you meet someone (close) that day.
I never missed it or thought about it.

 

[kubikub]

Human touch isn't something that bothers me very much unless I either don't know the person, I don't like them, or they're bothering or annoying me in some sort of way. Let me rephrase, I don't mind touch if it's from someone I'm in good standing(s?) with. I never initiate hugs or anything else of that nature myself, though.
Unless, actually, I have a significant other. They're the one person I let my 'touch' guard down for, and with them I'm usually extremely physically affectionate, most of the time I'm with them unless the situation calls for me to "tone it down." I am mildly uncomfortable with PDA, however, insofar as participating in it. Though when it comes to passing by couples making out on park benches and the like, I could care less what others do in their spare time.

 

[Cobra]

Daily touch quota? Tell me you're kidding. People aren't robots with a fixed number of hugs or pats on the shoulder needed everyday, it's going to vary from situation to situation.

I think they were speaking loosely, and you may have taken that a bit literal. "A quota" is sometimes deliberately used to describe a general number of units per [time period]. It's against the grain of the definition of the word (I know), but I think most people when referring to themselves use it in this manner. Like, "I have so not reached my coffee quota for this morning. Get me another cup, will you?" Human beings do not have quotas per se. Save for oxygenation of the blood cells, etc., so I know what you were getting at.

I don't think I have touched anyone (except punching people who irritate me or bumping into people on the street) or being touched (except getting slapped) for over 9 months. Yet I have never feel depressed, not at all. There are people like to touch around here, but I just stay away from them, and ready to jab someone in the chest if they trying to do a bear hold. I think whatever that study is (sorry I cannot load the article) it must have been done on a small sample size, or it only consider the mean without considering the extreme, or it is not scientific at all.

This whole thing was very funny. I can't picture anyone but a Byron-esque pro wrestler with long hair (w/ highlights) now when I read your posts. lol Huge muscles, too. Pro wrestler's belt and boots. Action figure. Intimidating the person on the payphone. Etc. I hope this is okay with you.

On the subject of touching, I'm actually a big fan, wierdly enough. Not necessarily of performing, but receiving. When my wife touches my head/hair, I feel like melting. Not just her. Anyone I trust, really. But fewer men are allowed (perhaps there may be some homophobia at play; not sure). I have a few male best friends who I don't mind them touching me intimately, but other than that, I'm pretty quick to push off.

I enjoy a good hug to any friend, though. Even male and not that close. Sort of a "Brothers hug!" type mentality that was developed over years of hanging with a close knit clique of friends (referred to as "The Brodies") in grade thru high school and in the few years after. Especially for goodbyes (even, like, "See ya tomorrow" goodbyes). Just brief hugs to maintain brother/sisterhood. I'm very close to the friends I have. And since I don't make many friends, I stay close-knit like this. I don't whore out my hugs, or anything. Just to people who are great in my opinion. I'm actually a little put off by "no touch" goodbyes. Seems weird to me. I have a new friend (w/ fiancee) who gives off "no touch" vibes. Leaned in for a hug, and he kind of bent over a little bit and wrapped his arms locally in a sort of awkward, "not sure if we should be this near to one another" kind of way. Although we've known each other for several months now and hang out frequently. So did his fiancee. I've now accepted that they are more comfortable with waving (which is weird because they're both F types... guess we all have our rotten wood? lol).

But, really, I think touch is only important to those who've had experience with touch. This may be very J of me, but I feel like it's sort of a "don't knock it, till you try it" kind of thing. Trust is important, though, and that's not really a "dkityti" thing... Although many people do knock it after they've tried it. Trust, that is. I haven't met many people who haven't began enjoying touch after they've allowed it into their life, but it may be because it's so closely associated with trust that, once it's initiated, it's hard not to trust someone to do it again. Maybe?

I'm really just talking out of my ass now. LOOOONG

 

[Ashenstar]

@Cobra- If you are just "talking out of your ass" then good things come out of your ass.

 

[Zaltana]

Any touching that I do is generally nonintentional touch. Such as handing over money to a cashier or brushing past someone in line. Never do I go out of my way during a conversation to physically interact unless it cannot be avoided. My level of wanting to be touched is directly related to the level of intimacy that I want to have with a person. So naturally this pool of people is very small for me. I hug my friends, and love to hug and play with their children. But I still have trouble being touched even in converstation with my coworkers.

What is fascinating is most of the problems that I'm seeing with touch in this thread has to do with nonsexual touch. Obviously we can generally come to a conclusion on a persons intentions if they kiss us, grab a specfic body part, or brush past certain areas. But it is very hard to gauge people when all they do is put there hand on your arm during a conversation and it comes across as generally being platonic. Then what do we do? How do we continue engaging this person and what route do we take? What does this person want from me? Am I interacting appropriately? Should I touch them back? Millions of these little questions enter our minds and then all of the sudden we need to analyze and make since of this to carry on.

My way to avoid this whole anxiety filled moment is just not to put myself in a situation (when I can control it) where I know this is likely to happen. I only go to a party where I know I have several clinging options or a partner in crime. However when I can't do this I just suck it up and deal with it. The best thing about knowing I'm an INTP as I can prepare for these little battles.

 

[tashi]

I really dislike people trying to touch me. Especially when new acquaintance assume that after one conversation we're good enough friends for them to try and hug me every time they see me in the hallways at school. Uggh, the worst is the suprise hug, were they sneak up behind you and hug tackle you. It's horrible, because being in Highschool people are always trying to touch me. I always just freeze and stiffen up, and I think I've offended alot of people that way.
I don't mind physical contact if I initiate it though. Infact, when I'm around my one or two close friends, I crave it desprately, and they say that I tend to be a bit clingy.
Sort of an all or nothing thing I suppose. I'm either entirely emotionally detached from people and want them to keep at both a physical and emotional distance, or I for those few very close friends, want to attach myself to them like some sort of barnacle.

 

[kantor1003]

It's a bittersweet thing, touch. I like it, but everytime someone outside my family does it I get confused and get lost in thought. I become too consciously aware of the touch and loose my already limited ability to communicate and can't focus on the subject at hand.
I wish it could feel more natural to be touched... maybe I will get used to it in time.

A touching encounter always leaves me thinking; First about the subjects motivations, then about how I handled the situation, how I could have handled it better and what I can improve in the future. Did I react the way the person wanted me to?
The bottom line is usually "why the fuck didn't I touch her back? Am I a completely retarded specimen of the human race? Why do I always just stand there like an idiot? How hard is it to just take my flesh wrapped bone of a hand and make an acknowledging touch?!"

Ehmm, yeah, this mostly apply to girls obviously as I really couldn't give more of a damn if a guy touch me or not, unless it is someone I look up to or a really good friend.

 

[Ombat]

On the subject of touching, I'm actually a big fan, wierdly enough.

I was starting to think everyone here cringed at the thought of human contact.

I really like physical contact with my friends. I usually receive half a dozen hugs a day (I don't usually initiate them). One of my friends has a habit of hugging me multiple times while I'm just hanging out with her, which doesn't include the "goodbye" hug. I just don't like when a lot of people see it, for some reason. She'll do it during our "breaks" in the middle of class. Just a spontaneous hugger, I suppose.

I'm also usually hanging onto somebody's arm, or clapping hands with someone if I'm talking to them face to face.

 

[israfel]

all people should be touched 10-14 times a day.

if that so, I m doomed! I hate be touched or huged by someone i dont know very well, well besides the handshake.And i hate be touched even by my loved ones when i m upset .im afraid i might lose control.

 

[tashi]

A touching encounter always leaves me thinking; First about the subjects motivations, then about how I handled the situation, how I could have handled it better and what I can improve in the future. Did I react the way the person wanted me to?
The bottom line is usually "why the fuck didn't I touch her back? Am I a completely retarded specimen of the human race? Why do I always just stand there like an idiot? How hard is it to just take my flesh wrapped bone of a hand and make an acknowledging touch?!"

Ehmm, yeah, this mostly apply to girls obviously as I really couldn't give more of a damn if a guy touch me or not, unless it is someone I look up to or a really good friend.

Yeah, I too have a tendency to over-analyze physical contact, or more specifically, my reaction to physical contact. I think it's this inclination towards second guessing my actions which causes me to be so uncomfortable when people try to reach out to me, because I fear that I will do something wrong. Perhaps when I become more comfortable with myself and learn not to doubt my actions, I will be able to take simple touches for what they are, rather than feel as if I'm under attack

It's strange because it usually applies mostly to girls for me as well, and I'm a girl myself. I think that this is because guys are alot more straightforward(generally speaking) than girls, for whom physical touch(and I speak as one who has done this myself in the past) can be used as a form of manipulation. The more I doubt the person touching me, the more I doubt my own reaction.

 

[Renk Fasze]

I don't think know any INTPs in real life but for myself but I'm incredibly vulnerable when touched.

Touching is revealing. I do not like being revealed when its not a deliberate choice of my own.

If I'm touched by someone who I'm feel safe with I'm alright with it. In a healthy relationship touch, to me, is incredible...its communicating feeling without words (which to me is especially nice because i crumble when trying to convey them) and even more incredible when the one receiving is accepting and returning is on the same plane.

At times, when I'm deep in my head, i do find that the already small group of people from whom i normally accept touch from narrows until my head is cleared.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I've never had problems with being touched. I don't get touched all that often (sometimes days) as of late. I don't seek it but don't shy away from it either. I'd pretty much echo what Cobra said. It's natural with most of my friends to hug hello and good-bye. At least once that barrier is crossed initially.

I was into contact sports when I was younger which is an entirely different experience but I think it took away any discomfort I may have once had. If I ever met anyone here in real life, we could wave at each other from a safe distance or hug like family. Either way is perfectly fine with me although ladies? I'd like the hug

 

[kantor1003]

Perhaps when I become more comfortable with myself and learn not to doubt my actions, I will be able to take simple touches for what they are, rather than feel as if I'm under attack

I am pretty comfortable with myself but touches still confuses me. Maybe the best way is to practice being touched. Going up to strangers yelling "touch me! touch me right here!" could be a good start. Go out in the world and do that tashi, then report back how it worked not that it will help me. I think 14 year old girls will get a different kinda response than a 20 year old shady male.

 

[Vrecknidj]

In general, I require some contact. However, there are some really significant distinctions.

At work, I prefer not to be touched--by anyone.

At home, I require daily contact with my wife--we're rather affectionate, and on days when I work 15 hours I feel drained. I get a little bit back from being in physical contact with her.

In friendships, I'm not a contact person, however, I am comfortable hugging dear friends (male or female does not matter), especially if I haven't seen them in a long time.

In social relationships, I'm comfortable with the American handshake as a means of establishing myself as a social equal. I recognize that this is a need that others have, and I'd rather show up on their radar as "normal" than as "weird" or "suspicious" so I play that game. For this same reason, if the situation warrants, I'll hug someone I don't really know that well.

However, I'm perpetually on guard. If I feel even a little uncomfortable, personally, with a situation, I revert to my Introverted default of avoiding contact.

My body feels best, and my mood improves most, when I'm touched. If I get a massage or even if my wife just scratches my back, I get something from a general wash of satisfaction to a rush of goose bumps to sheer exhilaration.

My wife just so happens to be a labor doula and so she's good at massage and therapeutic contact. That helps because she's familiar with what kind of touch people like and can address my particular needs quickly.

Dave

 

[Polaris]

I have issues with touch. Personal space and all that. My family were not into it, so it feels unnatural to me. A hug from a friend is acceptable, but even that is awkward. A few relationship issues have thus been inevitable......

 

[Zezon Vice]

I find that over most all of my life i have longed for touch yet never let myself achieve it no matter when its offered. I believe this is because i fear rejection and am quite simply nervous about any situation containing touch. I also feel awkward in emotionally touching moments, just as in a physically touching moment. I suppose they are linked in some ways but in the occasion that they arent and im just being forced into what is supposed to be a touching(emotionally) moment i get the same awkward feeling as when im asked for a hug.

 

[Nicholas A. A. E.]

Touch can often be somewhat uncomfortable for me, I think merely because it is too unfamiliar. I have never been in a romantic relationship, so I don't have a lot to go on here, but I do seek touch and have a particular longing for it. It seems simple, forward, and intuitive. Thus I think it is less paralysing for me than conversation.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

I solved this problem by taking up smoking. Than I realised I was engaging in an activity that is going to give me cancer so I stopped smoking and started to drink coffee. The coffee was not enough so I would roll a big ass joint. My parents seemed to freak when they randomly walked into my room and was like WTF! My only reply was "These partial differentials are hard, ok!". I had to stop my coffee and joint smoking habit. Now it is just coffee and studying.

I have been amused by the power of touch. It appears that I do not require much. Once a month is suitable. More would be nice. Ohh, dear. It is dawning on me. The last two years have been extremely boring.

 

[komiyama-nahori]

Well, if you look at the article, you can see just why we are all so screwed up! Whoever out there has parents who are in a "strong, stable, loving pair-bonding" relationship? I thought my parents were great by not getting a divorce!

 

[Döden]

I'm really cuddly. I was thinking about this last night: I touch people I trust. I like hugs and resting my head on them. This makes 4 people in total.
I like getting massages or having someone play with my hair, but unless they are in this group of 4 (and one of them is an ISTP female who hates getting touched, so I do it more to annoy her) I will not return the favor.

 

[KazeCraven]

It's kinda funny really. I never really thought much of touch until my mother mentioned for one of her b'days that all she wanted was hugs. I seem to find it less easy to forget people's existence when I hug them regularly. Just how things work, I guess. Conversation isn't as effective, especially if it is all small talk. Hmmm

I'm usually pretty cool with touch myself. Pretty much any girl is allowed to touch, though it's sometimes awkward. I guess because of American culture, guys not so much. I tend to reciprocate pretty well for my touchy-feely friends, but they are few and far between (probably because I'm not so touchy-feely myself and people sense that). I get hugs somewhere around two or three times a week, and I doubt more would make a difference (though 10-14 a day, whoever suggested that, sounds like it is reaching the boundary between "okay" and "annoying").

 

[Starfruit M.E.]

This hasn't been posted on in a while, but I found it while searching for something else and was intrigued.

For me, touching is more than just touching. Like mentioned, I over-analyze the whole thing. I can't even sleep most of the time if someone touches me because I have to figure it out. What I should have done. How I feel about them, and what they must feel about me. There are certain people I like to touch me, but I never try to to touch them because I'm not sure what they'll think. I love it when they touch me, although I still don't relax. I trust them, but not well enough.
There are other people who I wish would touch me, but they don't, and I somewhat obsess over it. Still others touch me and I don't like it. I tense up and then avoid them in the future. Even so, I most dislike the people who don't touch me and I don't want touching me. Perhaps because maybe because I think they think they're better, or maybe something else. And for the record, I only touch kids and sometimes my mom. I have one friend who is a hugger, but I do my best to avoid it. But in theory, I would really like to relax when someone touches me.

Unfortunately, I think we've all made it out to be more than it really is. If I ever started touching, I would probably find out that it's just really superficial except in my own head. And I don't think that would change unless there was something else communicated. Like a discussion that left you completely sure of their intentions and thoughts. But that almost feels wrong unless your serious. Like if you're married or something. So I end up thinking that maybe I'll never get in my daily quota in any other way but in running into people and exchanging money.

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

So I was at a really really crowded bar last night, everyone was dancing, I was dancing tons too. (My thighs hurt today, lol) And everyone just bumped into everyone else. It was fine and cool.

 

[Cobra]

This hasn't been posted on in a while, but I found it while searching for something else and was intrigued.

Search: "INTP+touches+self"

 

[Starfruit M.E.]

Thank you. That was productive. I was actually looking for the word relax, if you must know. And irrelevant to the discussion, having Spock on the page influences my choice of wording.

 

[fullerene]

Search: "INTP+touches+self"

lol!

show of hands: how many other people just had to google that to see if anything popped up?

I could easily believe a fetish like that existed, if mbti were universally known.

Thank you. That was productive. I was actually looking for the word relax, if you must know. And irrelevant to the discussion, having Spock on the page influences my choice of wording.

hehe... don't take it too personally, or anything. He was just playing around. You'll get some serious responses too: don't worry.

I understand where you're coming from for like 80% of that post, except for

There are certain people I like to touch me, but I never try to to touch them because I'm not sure what they'll think. I love it when they touch me, although I still don't relax. I trust them, but not well enough.
There are other people who I wish would touch me, but they don't, and I somewhat obsess over it. Still others touch me and I don't like it. I tense up and then avoid them in the future.

^^that kind of thing bugs me, a lot. The condition for whether you like to be touched or don't is whether you want to be touched by the person or not, but you treat them both the same, never initiating any contact? Since no one can know why it is that you don't touch them, how is that fair at all? This was one of my biggest pet peeves with girls in high school/college (not guessing you are one, or anything, but they're the group I associate that mindset with). It's just like "well, try and guess how I feel about you... but if you guess wrong, you're pretty fucked. Y'know... just so you know."


I think you're right, though, that your average person doesn't think it's any more than superficial.

 

[jhbowden]

do you like being touched

Being touched is generally annoying. Random hugs, no thanks. And don't bump into me either!

 

[Arbitrary Prototype]

Touch has always been a jolting experience for me. Whenever somebody would reach over and make physical contact I'd noticeably be startled. Even when I see it coming, actually feeling somebody else against me would make me jump. I've always wondered why this was and the only conclusion I could come up with is that I separate myself from almost everyone around me. I know other people exist but most likely I just think of them as theoretical possibilities. I see others as people who I have to get along with and can rarely but sometimes amazingly have thoughtful debates with. People just there to make my life more interesting.

Perhaps somebody touching me forces me to realize that there are others out there. These people are feeling just like I am. My actions have consequences on not only myself but others. Maybe this person is going home because of something I said casually with no thought and are laying awake at night thinking about it just like I would. I always feel like these thoughts and realizations always crash at once when somebody makes bodily contact with me. It forces me to not just look at things in a theoretical standpoint but also a practical and useful one. It's almost like a physicist fiddling with numbers and equations all day with such innocent delight only to realize that they're being used for an atomic bomb.

Touch is different only for my girlfriend. I love all of her even, or perhaps especially, her irrational emotions. When I'm crying because I can't make rent this month or angry because some homophobic asshole thought I was a fag, her fingers streaming through my hair let's me know that I'll be ok and that I've made it through worse. I still don't know why I react so differently with her. Maybe she's the only person who broke my shell to where I realize others are affected by me and not just neutral play things. Maybe it's from being with her for so long or maybe I'm just with her because her touch is so comforting. I'll never know…

I find it interesting that everyone seems to dislike touch from the same sex but yearns it from the opposite. Maybe it's because I've been with my girlfriend so long, but I hate it when females touch me. I feel like there's suddenly this giant sexual tension between us and I fear I might have to hurt a person by turning them down. When a guy touches me I'm better because I can't comprehend a man being interested me because I'm straight. Usually guys hit on me more often so my logic makes no sense. Maybe I'm still immature and see it as a novelty and enjoy the attention or maybe my heterosexuality blocks me from ever understanding such a situation.

I apologize for grammatical mistakes or jumping from topics randomly. I hope I clearly put through my ideas but I am drunk, alone and having a wonderful time.

 

[Cobra]

Yeah, I'm just playing ; ) Thoughtful response, truly.

 

[Schema]

Have a good look at the word, tOUCH. It even has an inbuilt warning.

Such a complicated type of sense...Too much? too little? perhaps even too late?
We all require the use of it both in being touched and doing the touching.
Alas, for me it is a never ending battle to find that happy equilibrium, especially when walking around in the city --> often results in sensory overload and my need to withdraw to a quiet sanctuary.

 

[Thread Killer]

The well known study of baby monkeys preferring touch to basic survival needs makes me think the need for physical conveyance of nurturance and comfort is something naturally programmed into us. So while some people dislike touch more than others, I think, especially at an early age, that loving physical gestures such as contact comfort is important. I mean, imagine growing up and never having had that contact. I think most would be severely lacking in some way in the emotional sense. Perhaps a sense of being severely deprived through a critical time. Something that cannot be undone.

 

[Cavallier]

I do like being touched and when it comes to friends...close friends...I don't mind being touched by them but I am still acutely aware of their touch. I can't be blasé about it the way a lot of people can be. I'm not particularly cuddly except for in my romantic relationships. I crave touching and stoking but I have recently discovered that after a while I need a break. (Keep your minds out of the gutter you lot! ) I definitely have a touching quota though it's pretty high with the two or three people I allow touch me. If I'm given time I come back again. Heh, I've obtained a very snugly cat recently and between the cat and my bf I'm getting very tired of being mugged for affection.

When it comes to people I don't like being touched. If I'm in a room packed full of people and they are touching me a lot I start to panic. Unless I'm drunk of course. Then I'm okay with it. Even a bit flirtatious with my touching but if I'm sober and strangers are touching me a lot I freak out.

 

[phantome]

touch is essential to me, but it has to come from people i know well. I can't stand it when people whom i hardly know attempt to touch me. This might be why I hate "surprise hugs" from some of my friends. I don't have a problem with initiating hugs though, just not randomly unless it's someone I really care about.

 

[Infinite Regress]

I don't notice touch if its my family or close friends who touch me.
I'm also not the cuddly emotional type and coupled with martial arts training - I tend to deflect any touching instinctively.

The culprits tend to be females who like to give BIG hugs for no apparent reason...I shouldn't complain I know...

 

[_whispers_]

For me touch is very important. They are people I love touching, usually those are the people I hold very dear and close to my heart. My sisters gets the biggest portion of hugs and pats She hates it when I get overly huggly. Then there are the people that I would really like to touch, but they don`t seem like the type to enjoy it, so I refrain from doing it. Until I can`t hold it in anymore and I`m all over the person

I am particularly fascinated with guys touch. If I have a skin to skin contact with one there is no way for me not to notice it. The reason is that their bodies tend to be generally warmer, so the touch is warmer. I had a friend whose hand I would hold all the time when we were alone He thought I was weird