Fuck buddies?

[intuitivet]

It is really weird that someone who isn't good friends would ask something like that. At first I thought maybe it was that guy on the video you posted a while back. That would have been funny! LOL.

Yeah, the guy was generally weird and way too touchy-feely for me D:
Haha, no not him, but me and him did date a few times.

 

[jachian]

Hmm...

I am tempted to assume half of the people here have never had casual sex.
It certainly seems that way from the inadequate beliefs that are thrown about concerning it.

Analogy time:
Sex is like Food.
You Crave it.
Your body tells you to go out and get it.
It's an instinct, and your body will reward you for getting it with all sorts of pleasure, as well as giving your immune system a healthy dose of foreign bacteria to up it's efficiency, without getting sick.

What rubbish !!..................
How is sex like food?...............

If you dont eat you waste away and die.

You waste away and die if you dont have sex too?!........... answer me !!


All those side benefits you mentioned............ RAY !!........

They are not enough to tempt me into casual sex...........

As far as I have seen all the people I know who had done casual sex end up Really messed up !!

Am pretty sure it alters you brain chemistry for the worse..................

 

[kantor1003]

What rubbish !!..................
How is sex like food?...............
If you dont eat you waste away and die.
You waste away and die if you dont have sex too?!........... answer me !!
All those side benefits you mentioned............ RAY !!........
They are not enough to tempt me into casual sex...........
As far as I have seen all the people I know who had done casual sex end up Really messed up !!

Not that this is in any way any absolute truth concerning human needs, but concerning how big emphasis this theory, and probably many others, have on our need to have sex, I think it is foolish to downgrade the act of sex as something superficial. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg

Oh, and yeah, I have done those awful things called casual sex. I must be really messed up. You should try it once, maybe it will mess up you too!

Am pretty sure it alters you brain chemistry for the worse..................

 

[Jah]

Where is pac-man when you need him ?


If you look beyond just your own lifetime sex(procreation) is just as universal for all your ancestors as food or intake of nourishment.

But ok.
The simile between Culinary cooking and Sex is better.
You don't need it to survive, though it is a very welcome spice.

Let's again list risks:
STDs
Pregnancy.
Emotions.

and gains:
Pleasure
Sexual Confidence
Stress release.


Of course; if you don't feel attracted to sex. then I won't argue.
And, yes, in a conversation with Socrates, Cephalus said "...the more the pleasures of the body fade away, the greater to me is the pleasure and charm of conversation."

But yet for most people, Sex remains a strong attraction, a primal instinct, akin to that of the pleasure of food. If you do not have it, then all the better for you, but most people do, and it shapes very much of our motivation in life as well as our expressions.


Casual sex, (I'm not a promoter of One-night stands, as these are much like crack, leaving you wanting more, and feeling empty. Much as meaningless as you describe it.) I'm here talking about friends with benefits, has attraction to those of us who would like sex without the emotional ties that usually follows.

 

[BigApplePi]

How do you guys convert one night lays into fb's?

One encounter is not enough to opt for signing a legal contract. Try making your potential buddy an offer to repeat the experience with whatever variations are of mutual interest. If you last four to seven rounds, return here and we'll try to get someone to formulate a formal arrangement which both of you will find agreeable.

 

[kantor1003]

haha, nice reply Don't think it's a good move though. Nah, I think I'll rather contact a chemist and get hold on some sleeping gas.

 

[Cognisant]

Emo rant, don't read if you don't want to know.

To convey my perspective on "sex buddies", I need a haircut, I've needed a haircut for about a month now, but I'm still putting it off, still bearing the indignity of living with hair that's too long to style and too short to just leave be, it looks really stupid.
...
But I don't like being touched, so I'll put it off for another day.

Personally I've got no conservative notions against the idea, and no bias one way or the other towards people who do it, all I know is that it's not for me, because I'd rather suffer through the indignity of looking like an idiot, than be touched.

Spoiler

Sorry for that, but you didn't have to read it.

 

[jachian]

Not that this is in any way any absolute truth concerning human needs, but concerning how big emphasis this theory, and probably many others, have on our need to have sex, I think it is foolish to downgrade the act of sex as something superficial. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg

Oh, and yeah, I have done those awful things called casual sex. I must be really messed up. You should try it once, maybe it will mess up you too!

Nice........ I just love how he just slips in sex between water and sleep at the bottom there.

It does make me wonder why such theories do include sex.........
I have not downgraded the act of sex as superficial........ I dont accept that it is a need ( perhaps the higher sexual intimacy)..... but not just plain ole sex..... and I really havent seen any reasonable explanation of why...... those side benefits are just that...... side benefits..... which are really not anywhere close to compelling me to seek a fuck buddy........ Sorry.......

I am pretty sure you are messed up......... And you know what they say.........
"is it that misery loves company?'.......... Yeah thats it.

 

[Cavallier]

Yes. I was just providing you with the definition of date rape because people were throwing the term around like candy. I was not however making a connection between consensual sexual partners and date rape.

Oh for google's sake, will everyone stop with the utterly idiotic comments?

Agreed.

 

[Minuend]

I have no desire for fuck buddies. Other people can have massive orgies for all I care.

 

[onthewindowstand]

Yeah, the guy was generally weird and way too touchy-feely for me D:
Haha, no not him, but me and him did date a few times.

I would have been surprised if it was him just because of the impression I got was that he and you were friends since you were kids. Fuck buddies with childhood friends will always be weird. Idk if thats what he is just seems like maybe. But anyway thats the same reason it would have been funny if he had asked. LOL

 

[BigApplePi]

Emo rant, don't read if you don't want to know.

To convey my perspective on "sex buddies", I need a haircut, I've needed a haircut for about a month now, but I'm still putting it off, still bearing the indignity of living with hair that's too long to style and too short to just leave be, it looks really stupid.
...
But I don't like being touched, so I'll put it off for another day.

Personally I've got no conservative notions against the idea, and no bias one way or the other towards people who do it, all I know is that it's not for me, because I'd rather suffer through the indignity of looking like an idiot, than be touched.

Hair too long? What about a laser cut? No human hands.

I take it from the above you don't self-touch --- which could account for a lot of things.

You sure you aren't a wee bit touched?

 

[Adymus]

Emo rant, don't read if you don't want to know.

To convey my perspective on "sex buddies", I need a haircut, I've needed a haircut for about a month now, but I'm still putting it off, still bearing the indignity of living with hair that's too long to style and too short to just leave be, it looks really stupid.
...
But I don't like being touched, so I'll put it off for another day.

Personally I've got no conservative notions against the idea, and no bias one way or the other towards people who do it, all I know is that it's not for me, because I'd rather suffer through the indignity of looking like an idiot, than be touched.

Spoiler

Sorry for that, but you didn't have to read it.

That's... That's something you might want to work on. It is really not healthy to have that much of a fear of intimacy.

 

[BigApplePi]

I have no desire for fuck buddies. Other people can have massive orgies for all I care.

That's doesn' t mean you can't attend one. There is no other best way to do data collection to shed light on this important question. May I go with you to take notes?

 

[Minuend]

You make a fine point, sir. We should probably bring video cameras to document such an event thoroughly.

 

[Adymus]

You make a fine point, sir. We should probably bring video cameras to document such an event thoroughly.

Hey you're going to need catering too, an orgy with camera crew is a lot of mouths to feed. That's where I come in.

 

[Himself]

That's where I come in.

Do I really need to say it?

Personally, I'm OK with them. (That's easy for me to say, since I'm not really attractive enough to ever be in danger of having one.) I agree with some of the other posters here that they can be fraught with emotional problems, but that's the biggest danger. STDs and pregnancies are pretty easily avoided if you have half a brain.

To each his (or her) own, I say.

(Also, it's threads like this that make me glad that INTPforum exists. Where else would people like us actually be able to discuss the concept of fuck buddies in a mostly-abstract manner without other people looking at us like we should be in the loony bin?)

 

[Philosophyking87]

Hey everyone just post what you think of em. Are they ok? Do you think they are immoral? Do you like them? Are you neutral about? Just post stuff like that here

I don't know. I guess if two people just want to fuck without the extra baggage of a relationship, it's a great thing. I just never experienced that sort of thing. Perhaps I'd like it. But I mostly prefer knowing someone intimately and being mostly monogamous. A threesome every now and then isn't so bad! =]

Thus, I suppose I'm just neutral.

 

[Philosophyking87]

granted at the same time its highly unlikely that you're their ONLY fuck buddy amirite?

True. But two people can rationally work out a deal to fuck exclusively, which would make the idea of a fuck buddy legit, theoretically-speaking at least. =p

But you definitely have a point that disease could be a problem regardless.
People don't always follow plans or do what they say they will do.

 

[BigApplePi]

(Also, it's threads like this that make me glad that INTPforum exists. Where else would people like us actually be able to discuss the concept of fuck buddies in a mostly-abstract manner without other people looking at us like we should be in the loony bin?)

Yerself.
I am glad this forum exists for its not that often they will let me out I get out very often so you are not alone. You have no idea where I am broadcasting from --- so if I may ask you to speak for yourself.

 

[VwllssWndr]

I gotta say, I've been on both sides of this argument during my lifetime. I had a girlfriend that I slept with, we broke up, and it was ten years before I got laid again...and then that turned into a "friends with benefits" situation that lasted for a few years, where I was getting sex at least once a week.

Before I actually had sex with someone without the immediate need for a long-term commitment, I deplored the notion of "casual sex" in any form.

Let me tell ya: I was a lot more miserable in that decade than I ever realized. It was only through comparing how much happier I was getting sex on a regular basis that I could look back and see how unhappy I really was. Back then, I even started looking for rational excuses why I was so messed up that I needed to avoid relationships entirely.

I know it's popular with this crowd to "think through" something that's right on the cusp of emotion and irrationality. But how can you really know something with any level of certainty without experimental data? I learned a lot about myself through my experiences. (A hell of a lot more than I thought I knew about myself when I was living a life of abstinence, that's for damn sure.)

I've already stated before that it's probably not for everyone, but I'm seeing a lot of counter-arguments in this thread based on generalizations due to hypotheticals. What I'm *not* seeing is anyone who seems to have any actual experience with the issue -- or casual sex in general, for that matter -- being nearly as dismissive as those who seem to have no data to back up their claims. I guess in that respect, this thread isn't nearly so surprising as my intial feelings that people were being too moralizing. It's just the usual attitude of dismissing that which we can't directly relate to as "irrelevant."

Been there, done that.

 

[onthewindowstand]

ten years without sex? That sucks so much ass

 

[Philosophyking87]

ten years without sex? That sucks so much ass

Yeah, I couldn't live like that!

 

[ashitaria]

Well, I'm a sexual so I could live without ten years of sex.

 

[onthewindowstand]

Dude you're 14, you are prolly to young to know that about ureself. Unless your balls have been cut off or someting....

 

[Mary]

Women have sexual urges too. Trust me.

onthewindowstand:
I'm sorry if this offends you (actually, I'm really not) but your method of debating really irritates me. Stick to the issues. Resorting to personal attacks is not a good way to gain respect for yourself.

I'm not interested in casual sex. I'm by no means asexual, but I'm not a hedonist either. I just don't care for STDs and the emotional distress that can come with that sort of stuff.

Edit: I removed the quotes from debating 'cause I decided that you are actually trying to debate.

 

[ashitaria]

Dude you're 14, you are prolly to young to know that about ureself. Unless your balls have been cut off or someting....

What!? Are you fucking kidding me!?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

I didn't come to the conclusion that I was asexual too early, heck, there are eleven-year-olds out there who are already sexual active and has babies, while everyone in my school except me tend to go ga ga over girls (except for a select few).

C'mon, fourteen isn't too young to find out if you like sex or not, because there's something called puberty. And from what I recall, puberty happens from the age of twelve.

I didn't come to the conclusion that I was asexual without looking at the facts myself.

@Mary: I really appreciate what you're doing, but I personally believe that you are too harsh. Of course, it's great, real great to see you back.

 

[Mary]

What!? Are you fucking kidding me!?
@Mary: I really appreciate what you're doing, but I personally believe that you are too harsh. Of course, it's great, real great to see you back.

:P
You're too nice sometimes.
It's just my instant response to people who irritate me.
I throw spiky needles at them.

Great to see ya too!

 

[ashitaria]

:P
You're too nice sometimes.
It's just my instant response to people who irritate me.
I throw spiky needles at them.

Great to see ya too!

Too nice? Pff...You haven't seen the thread about Bullying, I was throwing insults and highly emotionally charged arguments back and forth.

But thanks for the compliments.

 

[Mary]

Too nice? Pff...You haven't seen the thread about Bullying, I was throwing insults and highly emotionally charged arguments back and forth.

But thanks for the compliments.

Ooo, sounds like high-quality fun!
I reserve my insults for people who insult me first or close friends.

Compliments? I see no compliments!

 

[onthewindowstand]

Women have sexual urges too. Trust me.

onthewindowstand:
I'm sorry if this offends you (actually, I'm really not) but your method of debating really irritates me. Stick to the issues. Resorting to personal attacks is not a good way to gain respect for yourself.

I'm not interested in casual sex. I'm by no means asexual, but I'm not a hedonist either. I just don't care for STDs and the emotional distress that can come with that sort of stuff.

Edit: I removed the quotes from debating 'cause I decided that you are actually trying to debate.

I'm not really debating when I'm clearly right, am I?

 

[ashitaria]

I'm not really debating when I'm clearly right, am I?

"Clearly right"? Well you certainly fooled me.

 

[onthewindowstand]

"Clearly right"? Well you certainly fooled me.

Which is why I still think you have yet to shed christianity. Because something so clear is apparently hard to see for you.

 

[ashitaria]

Which is why I still think you have yet to shed christianity. Because something so clear is apparently hard to see for you.

If I have to choose between keeping Christianity and acknowledging your arrogant views, I would choose Christianity.

"Clearly right"? Huh. What a joke.

 

[onthewindowstand]

If I have to choose between keeping Christianity and acknowledging your arrogant views, I would choose Christianity.

"Clearly right"? Huh. What a joke.

Keep lying to yourself

 

[Kuu]

Onthewindowstand, Ashitaria. Stop derailing this thread and drop this stupid off-topic squabble. I don't give a shit who started it, taking the bait is equally deplorable...

or take it to the Arena.



To think that you call yourselves rational... *facepalm*

 

[Adymus]

To think that you call yourselves rational... *facepalm*

You know... I never liked how Kiersey named us that. Not only does it imply that all NTs are logically infallible, but also because it implies that everyone else is irrational.

 

[intuitivet]

Onthewindowstand, Ashitaria. Stop derailing this thread and drop this stupid off-topic squabble. I don't give a shit who started it, taking the bait is equally deplorable...

or take it to the Arena.



To think that you call yourselves rational... *facepalm*

I didn't realise we had one of those! What fun

I would have been surprised if it was him just because of the impression I got was that he and you were friends since you were kids. Fuck buddies with childhood friends will always be weird. Idk if thats what he is just seems like maybe. But anyway thats the same reason it would have been funny if he had asked. LOL

Nah I've only known him for two years so far, we just get along really well (except when he's really selfish and I'm really moral, then we clash).
I agree doing that with a childhood friend would be really weird, thinking about it with my actual childhood friend weirds me out XD He's too much like family.

You know... I never liked how Kiersey named us that. Not only does it imply that all NTs are logically infallible, but also because it implies that everyone else is irrational.

They aren't?

 

[Red Devil]

It's a no from me since I'm not too fond of being touched. Though I think I agree with the 'connection' thing bit - I can't see myself doing it unless I have some sort of feelings for the person.

 

[BigApplePi]

I gotta say, I've been on both sides of this argument during my lifetime. I had a girlfriend that I slept with, we broke up, and it was ten years before I got laid again...and then that turned into a "friends with benefits" situation that lasted for a few years, where I was getting sex at least once a week.

Before I actually had sex with someone without the immediate need for a long-term commitment, I deplored the notion of "casual sex" in any form.

Let me tell ya: I was a lot more miserable in that decade than I ever realized. It was only through comparing how much happier I was getting sex on a regular basis that I could look back and see how unhappy I really was. Back then, I even started looking for rational excuses why I was so messed up that I needed to avoid relationships entirely.

I know it's popular with this crowd to "think through" something that's right on the cusp of emotion and irrationality. But how can you really know something with any level of certainty without experimental data? I learned a lot about myself through my experiences. (A hell of a lot more than I thought I knew about myself when I was living a life of abstinence, that's for damn sure.)

I've already stated before that it's probably not for everyone, but I'm seeing a lot of counter-arguments in this thread based on generalizations due to hypotheticals. What I'm *not* seeing is anyone who seems to have any actual experience with the issue -- or casual sex in general, for that matter -- being nearly as dismissive as those who seem to have no data to back up their claims. I guess in that respect, this thread isn't nearly so surprising as my intial feelings that people were being too moralizing. It's just the usual attitude of dismissing that which we can't directly relate to as "irrelevant."

Been there, done that.

What kind of details would you like? If one is very frustrated, one will take practically anything to relieve it. That's been my experience. The relieving is not exactly rational. Pursuing a steady satisfaction with fb's just for sex after one is satisfied for a while just doesn't take into account one's other desires. That's why it is a bit odd. Once one is satisifed as in, say, marriage, one is more free to turn to other things.

 

[BigApplePi]

It's a no from me since I'm not too fond of being touched. Though I think I agree with the 'connection' thing bit - I can't see myself doing it unless I have some sort of feelings for the person.

Maybe touching is just like sex in the sense of it expresses a strong intimacy. If I wish intimacy, I want to be properly introduced first.

Perhaps we can say that touching is like sex but without the internal sexual drive.

For extroverts that would be different. Touching could be just their casual thing -- not intimacy at all.

 

[Minuend]

Hey you're going to need catering too, an orgy with camera crew is a lot of mouths to feed. That's where I come in.

I must say I'm disappointed. With your enthusiasm, I figured you'd be one of the participants.....

 

[onthewindowstand]

I must say I'm disappointed. With your enthusiasm, I figured you'd be one of the participants.....

He never said what he was going to feed to the participants......

 

[onthewindowstand]

Onthewindowstand, Ashitaria. Stop derailing this thread and drop this stupid off-topic squabble. I don't give a shit who started it, taking the bait is equally deplorable...

or take it to the Arena.



To think that you call yourselves rational... *facepalm*

People should be ridiculed for stupid beliefs, it can go a long way in destroying them.

Maybe you aren't rational?

 

[Fukyo]

People should be ridiculed for stupid beliefs, it can go a long way in destroying them.

Maybe you aren't rational?

And you're just dying to extend a helping hand to your fellow man...

 

[Melkor]

This thread is both dissapointing and depressing. Can't we have a poll on whether or not to tragically end it?

 

[BigApplePi]

This thread is both dissapointing and depressing. Can't we have a poll on whether or not to tragically end it?

Melkor.
Is that another way of saying you want to be my buddy my good fellow? Just because you abandoned lyra. Where did you stash her BTW?

 

[onthewindowstand]

Melkor.
Is that another way of saying you want to be my buddy my good fellow? Just because you abandoned lyra. Where did you stash her BTW?

DP lyra?

 

[BigApplePi]

DP lyra?

DP? Deputy policewoman? Displaced person? Delightful participant? Dangerous persona?

 

[Words]

Diamond Pearl Lyra?.....Pokemon?