Confession of a hater.

[WALKYRIA]

Hate is a strong word. But I hate it.
I hate the poeple around me.
I hate people who come too close from me: ideologically as well as physically.
I hate the people who think like me.
I hate proximity.
My family;the people who chose the same job as me; My " friends"; My neighbours; The people I date; The people who love me. I hate them all.
I try very hard to like them. I do. But I still don't.
Distance. I love distance. I love mystery. I love difference. I love people. I love discovery. I love aliens. I love chaos.

Now tell me INTP, what do you hate so much?

 

[nanook]

I know! *han solo face*

 

[Black Rose]

I don't hate anything.
When I think about my,
inadequacies I feel sad.

 

[Happy]

That's a lot of hate!...


I dislike people who lose perspective on the world after having children. You know the ones - they pop out some kids and all of a sudden, the rest of the world doesn't exist, or if it does, it's a threat to their children and so they wage war on it.

"The crossing supervisor gave my child a high five? I'm not going to rest until he's been fired!"

I can't make any sense of that mentality.


On second thoughts, I just dislike all prejudiced people. They make me sick.

 

[Grayman]

I hate hate and so I hate that I hate hate.

 

[Yellow]

I really don't hate anything. I have no problem with the idea of "hating" in theory, but in practice, I find it to be impossible. I lack passion, I suppose.

I'm not fond of the hateful-isms like sexism, racism, and such.
I have a distaste for willful ignorance, especially in the form of pedagogues, pundits, and the everyday self-entitled.
I find abusive/predatory behavior disgusting.

That's about as close to hate as I get, and these feelings are more reactive, rather than a constant state. I mean, I have to witness or experience such unpleasantness from time to time in order to recall my non-apathy.

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

i can find something to hate in almost everything, i sometimes wish i could will myself to stop scrutinizing everything for flaws

 

[WALKYRIA]

Sure it's a bit exagerated.... I'm trying to meditate on the function of the "dislike" and "hate" button, you know like in the yin and the yang. I'm sure disliking has a balancing function.
As you can see, evrything I hate is everything that can potentially judge me or limitate my freedom of being/action/thinking... If you like freedom, I don't see how you can totally love your coworkers because unless you know them very well there will be trouble.
And family? What do you think when your parents imply that they they think your elder brother is and always will be so much cooler than you are...Being subjected to the judgement of your closest people is painful.
And your lover? How many people regret their marriages?How many people complain about their S.O?


Maybe I'm in the middle of claryfying my Fe or something but I think that there is potentially a lot of things to hate....
I've heard that Feeling types(SRF and NF) are more skilled using their feeling function... I've always found it odd how they can navigate their feelings of hate(and love) and rationalize everything so that at the end of the day; what they hate makes perfect sense(my rival, my boss, people who don't like me, people who don't share the same ideas as me ,..Etc) and what they love makes sense(my SO, my family, my community, my nation, my brother, my car, my coworkers, my kids, people I know rather than eolpe who I don't know, people who support me)...Etc

Maybe feeling types use their feelings in a way that benefit to them more than we do? I know that I use my feelings sometimes in ways that donnot benefit to me... I know perhaps that I should love people who share the same experiences as me; but instead i keep them at a safe distance.

I don't hate anything.

So if you don't hate anything, does that also mean that you don't love anything either?

 

[Jennywocky]

So if you don't hate anything, does that also mean that you don't love anything either?

...I love apathy!

 

[WALKYRIA]

i can find something to hate in almost everything, i sometimes wish i could will myself to stop scrutinizing everything for flaws

To hate? or to criticize? Yeah, me too, but isn't it what Ti is supposed to do? Trouble shooting!
If you want to stop that, go into Ne-Fe dominant mode. It gets better.

 

[Yellow]

So if you don't hate anything, does that also mean that you don't love anything either?

One doesn't necessarily follow the other, unless you're into dualism or something.

I'm pretty sure I love things. A lot of things, actually. At least, I'm quite fond of them. I feel vaguely dispirited if I realize that one of the things is missing from my life, and range between content and exhilarated when they are present.

 

[WALKYRIA]

One doesn't necessarily follow the other, unless you're into dualism or something.

Of course I'm into dualism when it comes to such thing; I consider the love-hate couple to be similar to the light-darkness couple. Without one, the other cannot exist but I must admit that I'm not litterate enough to go further... the topic is too hard for me( too feelingish).
Or I'm just plain wrong, I don't know... just rambling.
All I'm trying to do here is to find a reason good enough to eradicate hate from my life, but I don't seem to find any since there are so many things to hate... and my short conclusion seem to be that hate and dislike is just part of life.

Anyway, I'm dissapointed, I expected INTPs to be more haters than that... aren't we supposed to be misanthropes afterall?

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Same topic. Hate is usually irrational and way too strong in my view, but I'd say I 'hate' hatred and people who allow their personal hatreds and desires to reduce the freedom of others or cause them to become haters, as it were, cause them to become: people who allow their personal hatreds and desires...

Yes, this definition is recursive.

 

[Grayman]

Of course I'm into dualism when it comes to such thing; I consider the love-hate couple to be similar to the light-darkness couple. Without one, the other cannot exist but I must admit that I'm not litterate enough to go further... the topic is too hard for me( too feelingish).
Or I'm just plain wrong, I don't know... just rambling.
All I'm trying to do here is to find a reason good enough to eradicate hate from my life, but I don't seem to find any since there are so many things to hate... and my short conclusion seem to be that hate and dislike is just part of life.

Anyway, I'm dissapointed, I expected INTPs to be more haters than that... aren't we supposed to be misanthropes afterall?

Do you really hate? What about irritation, anger, frustration, and disgust? Are you confusing your feelings.

 

[Black Rose]

Hate means destruction.
Hate means revenge.
Hate means resentment.
Hate fails forgiveness.

There is a better way.
We need self control.
We need to be free.
Free of of our vices.
I know that I tremble
at my fear to hurt others.
I will not commit to destruction.
I want to clear my emotions.
I want to be accepting of others.

Anger is temporary.
Hate is persistent.
I want people who
hate me to be ok.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Hate is a strong word. But I hate it.
I hate the poeple around me.
I hate people who come too close from me: ideologically as well as physically.
I hate the people who think like me.
I hate proximity.
My family;the people who chose the same job as me; My " friends"; My neighbours; The people I date; The people who love me. I hate them all.
I try very hard to like them. I do. But I still don't.
Distance. I love distance. I love mystery. I love difference. I love people. I love discovery. I love aliens. I love chaos.

Now tell me INTP, what do you hate so much?

You need to chill and love.

 

[green acid]

Hate is a strong word. But I hate it.
I hate the poeple around me.
I hate people who come too close from me: ideologically as well as physically.
I hate the people who think like me.
I hate proximity.
My family;the people who chose the same job as me; My " friends"; My neighbours; The people I date; The people who love me. I hate them all.
I try very hard to like them. I do. But I still don't.
Distance. I love distance. I love mystery. I love difference. I love people. I love discovery. I love aliens. I love chaos.

Now tell me INTP, what do you hate so much?

I hate people who antagonize me to my face. I've punched a couple of people in situations like that. I can't really hate anything from a distance, though I can strongly dislike from a distance. For instance, I dislike Republicans and TV and a million other things. If something gets me at more visceral level (e.g. getting fired) the memory and the emotion stays with me for decades, is that more Fi or Fe? I seem to only hate personal attacks, and I retain the emotion. Differences of opinion, I can change as often as my clothes, though I may be TEMPORARILY very angry.

 

[Tannhauser]

I hate sentimentality. I can't fucking stand when people weep at sentimental shit, especially when they get all emotional about their own silly problems.

I love stoicism and people who don't turn life into a goddamn tragedy.

 

[Sinny91]

I habor a lot of resentment and have an issue with forgiveness. I've learned to let a lot of things go... but there are some things which hurt a lot, and cant be 'let go of'... instead of turning these negative feelings outwards, in say anger, I've kept them within me... but now I feel weighed down, as if by dead weight.

I dont know what to do with all my resentment.

 

[peoplesuck]

Hate is a strong word. But I hate it.
I love people
I hate the poeple around me.
I hate people who come too close from me: ideologically as well as physically.
I hate the people who think like me.
I hate proximity.
My family;the people who chose the same job as me; My " friends"; My neighbours; The people I date; The people who love me. I hate them all.
I try very hard to like them. I do. But I still don't.
Distance.

exactly which people do you love

 

[Pyropyro]

This Thread:

Spoiler

See more on Know Your Meme

 

[DeadChannel]

I hate people who talk in the theater. Fuck those people. Seriously.

 

[Yellow]

I hate sentimentality. I can't fucking stand when people weep at sentimental shit, especially when they get all emotional about their own silly problems.

In my experience, those who are less "sentimental" generally regard such people with mild confusion or a generally neutral response, depending on how random or predictable it is.

To get all riled up by it would suggest that it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Now, if you're on the ASD spectrum, I understand. Even so, this is a normal feeling for the socio-emotionally underdeveloped (note, I didn't say "rational". This is because both "feelers" and "thinkers" have emotional maturation processes). It suggests that when you're faced with someone else's strong emotions, you don't know how to respond. Since you don't sympathize, it's overwhelming.

Therefore, it's a little ironic that Stoicism is mentioned, because among the few emotions "called out" by Stoic philosophers, anger (along with jealousy) is enemy #1. Also, there is a great emphasis on true equality, something made possible only by a neutral empathy toward others.

 

[Grayman]

In my experience, those who are less "sentimental" generally regard such people with mild confusion or a generally neutral response, depending on how random or predictable it is.

To get all riled up by it would suggest that it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Now, if you're on the ASD spectrum, I understand. Even so, this is a normal feeling for the socio-emotionally underdeveloped (note, I didn't say "rational". This is because both "feelers" and "thinkers" have emotional maturation processes). It suggests that when you're faced with someone else's strong emotions, you don't know how to respond. Since you don't sympathize, it's overwhelming.

Therefore, it's a little ironic that Stoicism is mentioned, because among the few emotions "called out" by Stoic philosophers, anger (along with jealousy) is enemy #1. Also, there is a great emphasis on true equality, something made possible only by a neutral empathy toward others.

The other side of the argument is that people sometimes feign concern and emotions. They are dishonest. This is more true the more dramatic they are with the display. Yes, there are emotional people. My wife is very emotional bit it is a realistic response in her case.

Another issue is that society has no respect for a persons emotional bubble. There are people who walk down the emotional hallway bumping into people and hanging on people they may or may not even know without concern with how it affects the people in the hallway.

When someone asks if they can hug me, I feel very appreciative of their respect toward my space. I often say yes. When someone, an adult, hugs me without asking I often feel irritated.

 

[Black Rose]

I need more hugs in my life.

 

[Sinny91]

I dont feel like there is anything which could ammend my hurt. Which is not individual to me, but to many.

As usual that sounds far more simplistic in words, than the thoughts in my head. I semi give up.

 

[Black Rose]

I dont feel like there is anything which could ammend my hurt. Which is not individual to me, but to many.

As usual, that sounds far more simplitic in words than the thoughts in my head. I semi give up.

The world may seem dark. And we may try to change what we can. But to let go will be the most effective way to make sure it is possible to change it.

*Hugs Sinny*

 

[Tannhauser]

In my experience, those who are less "sentimental" generally regard such people with mild confusion or a generally neutral response, depending on how random or predictable it is.

To get all riled up by it would suggest that it makes you feel very uncomfortable. Now, if you're on the ASD spectrum, I understand. Even so, this is a normal feeling for the socio-emotionally underdeveloped (note, I didn't say "rational". This is because both "feelers" and "thinkers" have emotional maturation processes). It suggests that when you're faced with someone else's strong emotions, you don't know how to respond. Since you don't sympathize, it's overwhelming.

Therefore, it's a little ironic that Stoicism is mentioned, because among the few emotions "called out" by Stoic philosophers, anger (along with jealousy) is enemy #1. Also, there is a great emphasis on true equality, something made possible only by a neutral empathy toward others.

Got it. If I hate something, it means I am autistic.

Although I am impressed by all these 10-dollar words from the world of psychiatry, you are talking about the wrong kind of hate. I hate certain things, and I do it with a passion, because they fall into certain philosophical and aesthetical categories. If anything, I want to hate and love as much as possible, as opposed to being subdued, neutral and "tolerant".

 

[Grayman]

If anything, I want to hate and love as much as possible, as opposed to being subdued, neutral and "tolerant".

You sound like Bronto... I don't claim to understand your mentality. I fail to rationalize it.

 

[The Grey Man]

The only object of hatred that seems necessary to me is the experience of intolerable unpleasantness. Otherwise, harbouring hatred, outside of a "locker room" motivational context (where it is useful) seems like a vain indulgence.

 

[Sinny91]

*Hugs Anime*

Have a lifetimes supply, nobody else is getting them off me

 

[Tannhauser]

Hate is just a spice of life, a part of being human. I find it hilarious that people talk about it as if it is some illness.

(although I suspect that in the world of psychiatry, a person is automatically regarded as ill unless he/she is a subdued, medicated zombie)

 

[Yellow]

Got it. If I hate something, it means I am autistic.

(although I suspect that in the world of psychiatry, a person is automatically regarded as ill unless he/she is a subdued, medicated zombie)

I didn't say that. I suggested that the feelings you expressed appeared to indicate a lack of socioemotional development. I simply allowed for Asperger's because in that case, it's a feature, not a bug.

I hate certain things, and I do it with a passion, because they fall into certain philosophical and aesthetical categories. If anything, I want to hate and love as much as possible, as opposed to being subdued, neutral and "tolerant".

Hate is just a spice of life, a part of being human. I find it hilarious that people talk about it as if it is some illness.

Far be it from me to impose on the limits of one's love, hatred, or any other sentimental state. I just wanted to point out its opposition to the tenants of Stoicism.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Well, all I know is that if you hate then you're bound to get irate. So uhh,

keep that hate to yourself, mkay? We ain't having NONE OF THAT HEAR YOU MOTHERFUYCKIUNG POIUECE )OF SHITIISTIITIOHSDT nah i'm cool i'm cool chill aight chill relax relax ok ok what was I saying?

yeah some song lyrics or some shit. yeah, ok, just some shit I remembered off da top of my head...

FFS

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I want to hate and love as much as possible, as opposed to being subdued, neutral and "tolerant".

So you hate sentimentalists whilst holding sentiments. Interesting.

When someone, an adult, hugs me without asking I often feel irritated.

Disclaimer: You can hug me without asking for permission as long as I don't see a sharp-looking object in your hands ; ].
*Hugs Akitty*

 

[Jennywocky]

I don't see "tolerant" as mutually exclusive of "feeling/passion".

Although I guess it is far easier to come across as tolerant when one is merely being apathetic.

 

[WALKYRIA]

I know it seem irrational to harbour bad feelings but seriously look at the world; everything seem to go wrong and people are more and more aware that they are being exploited on a larger scale. The main argument is that nothing can be done because of lack of power of action; and that we better keep on doing like anyone else.
Yet feelings although irrational serve as a micro-sensor and can detect problems even when they seem irrational. Although I tend to be a rational; with time I see the limitation of rationality. The call for good feelings and rationality seem to be a call for passivity.
WHen I go out there and look at the people; My body knows that something is wrong. Something that is beyond me. Yet I can't say exactly what it is, because me myself I'm trapped in a failed system. I can study, read, work as much as I want... but it feels like I'll never have the power to change anything and I hate that. I don't even know who to blame exactly... It just looks like humanity is doomed at its roots. And I hate that.
ANd I believe that hate or any bad feeling although ugly , has a function... what about an (r)evolutionary function?

 

[Tannhauser]

Far be it from me to impose on the limits of one's love, hatred, or any other sentimental state. I just wanted to point out its opposition to the tenants of Stoicism.

Stoicism is not about treating emotion as an illness, it is about being resilient in the face of bad events. It is saying "fuck you" to fate. You are confusing Stoicism with being a monk in a cave.

The difference between the Epicurean and our own school is this: our wise man feels his troubles but overcomes them, while their wise man does not even feel them. – Seneca, letter IX in "Letters from a Stoic"

 

[Black Rose]

Stoicism is not about treating emotion as an illness, it is about being resilient in the face of bad events. It is saying "fuck you" to fate. You are confusing Stoicism with being a monk in a cave.

The difference between the Epicurean and our own school is this: our wise man feels his troubles but overcomes them, while their wise man does not even feel them. – Seneca, letter IX in "Letters from a Stoic"

That makes a big difference but if true would not hate be through action rather than anger that fades away. You do know what premeditation is yes?

 

[Grayman]

It is saying "fuck you" to fate. You are confusing Stoicism with being a monk in a cave.

I think you are mistaken.

https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/stoic-practical-advice-iv-anger/

You don't say fuck you. You say what can I do with these new circumstances?

 

[Black Rose]

https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/stoic-practical-advice-iv-anger/

Irvine also says that Stoics had some very practical advice on the subject that was similar to Buddhist practice: “When angry, says Seneca, we should take steps to “turn all [anger’s] indications into their opposites.”

passion vs
com-passion

 

[crippli]

I usually equal strong emotions with egocentricity. It occurs when the feeling of ownership is threatened/reinforced. This is probably the mechanism that is called sosio emtio developed.

Probably why hateful and happy people can come off as attractive to many people, as what they more subconsciously do is signal ownership of themselves and their territory. Indicating resources, as many will feel attracted too. Like crows will fly towards shiny objects. Regardless if it's scrap metal or silver.

 

[Grayman]

Irvine also says that Stoics had some very practical advice on the subject that was similar to Buddhist practice: “When angry, says Seneca, we should take steps to “turn all [anger’s] indications into their opposites.”

passion vs
com-passion

I don't understand that part to be honest. I don't agree with a lot of Buddhist 'practices'. I mean it seems dishonest, unrealistic, and what purpose would it serve?

 

[Black Rose]

I don't understand that part to be honest. I don't agree with a lot of Buddhist 'practices'. I mean it seems dishonest, unrealistic, and what purpose would it serve?

It is about emotional control.
You should not take any action,
that will bring regret or apathy.
How often do you get upset,
about things that are irreverent.
And how do you take actions,
that are appropriate if emotion,
is not under control.

I guess you are worried that they,
get rid of passion in place of serenity.
In a negative sense you think it is apathy.
This implies giving up on your values.
The positive aspect means you are
more at peace with who you are.
It also means you are at peace with your life.
It is not dishonest to be at peace with yourself.
If having a sense of well-being is unrealistic,
you reject that as your purpose.

I am entirely ok with positive passion.
The negative side just ruins your whole life.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I don't understand that part to be honest. I don't agree with a lot of Buddhist 'practices'. I mean it seems dishonest, unrealistic, and what purpose would it serve?

It is a basic form of empathy advocated by Buddhism.

When you are faced with the person who is the source of your anger, you can feel compassionate or sorry for them. That way, you begin to control the situation and you become aware of your own unnecessary anger.

Instead of the outcome of this situation being dependent on anger, it then allows you to reflect on what's happening. In order to have that kind of introspection consistently it requires practice and some kind of cue, usually experiencing how the other person is hurt is that cue because it shifts your attention to a perspective outside of your defensive shell.

 

[Grayman]

It is a basic form of empathy advocated by Buddhism.

When you are faced with the person who is the source of your anger, you can feel compassionate or sorry for them. That way, you begin to control the situation and you become aware of your own unnecessary anger.

Instead of the outcome of this situation being dependent on anger, it then allows you to reflect on what's happening. In order to have that kind of introspection consistently it requires practice and some kind of cue, usually experiencing how the other person is hurt is that cue because it shifts your attention to a perspective outside of your defensive shell.

That seems backwards. Doesn't empathy elicit empathetic concern and not the other way around?

It seems as if the quoted is saying to "Convert your anger to foolish compassion" instead of saying "Always use wise compassion and when angered be mindful"

Minful being that you do not hold onto your deconstructive thoughts and emotions so that you can move on to better thought and action. (such mental focus is practiced in meditation)

Maybe I am being picky with the wording... But their focus seems to be to vilify anger and to suppress it instead of acknowlege it and move on from it.

 

[Black Rose]

Maybe I am being picky with the wording... But their focus seems to be to vilify anger and to suppress it instead of acknowlege it and move on from it.

Given that the same thing happens in Christianity with all denominations, it could be said no one is correct or a small fragment is correct. All religions have a negative stereotype. Of course Buddhism is not a religion so being by how you practice Buddhism. You can be a Buddhist Christian for example. Or a Christian Buddhist. Buddhism is all inclusive. The reason Western people get into Buddhism is because most think Buddhism is Nihilistic. If suppression of anger is what most Buddhist do then that goes against the Buddhist teaching of mental health. The whole point is to get rid of unhealthy habits. Buddhism is not Nihilism. We should not go by what some practitioners do but by what the goal of Buddhism is. Compassion is not suppression it is integration. Most translations of older text are not clear in English. Compassion is mindfulness. There is no difference so blame mistranslations. If you separate that word from western thought you will see that it means integration not the opposite which is suppression. Remember that passion in the case of anger and all negative emotions is the opposite of calmness. Self aware people have control over their emotions not the emotions themselves have control over the individual. Seneca I think meant calmness.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Maybe I am being picky with the wording... But their focus seems to be to vilify anger and to suppress it instead of acknowlege it and move on from it.

Anger is seen as destructive, but the focus of the meditation I described was to defuse anger or to make it so it doesn't arise and to restore the clarity of judgment that's been clouded during the recent interaction.

In this case empathy/sympathy (the distinction between the two is largely unimportant as it can be described by both) is useful to make a step forward, outside of defending, I could phrase it more precisely, though I'm not aiming to convey the point of it. I simply wanted to mention that it's something real that's out there, has a purpose and its honesty is implied for it to be effective.

 

[Tannhauser]

I think you are mistaken.

https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/stoic-practical-advice-iv-anger/

You don't say fuck you. You say what can I do with these new circumstances?

A quote from the link:

... Seneca made it clear that when we react with anger to a problem or situation we are putting a destructive emotion in charge, instead of our reason: “when someone wrongs us, says Seneca, he should be corrected “by admonition and also by force, gently and also roughly.” Such corrections, however, should not be made in anger.”

If we now try to incorporate hate into the same statement, I would say that I don't view hate as the opposite of reason. Hating doesn't mean losing control over one's emotions, it means having an emotion. And that emotion can even be a result of having used reason to define one's ethics and aesthetics.

 

[The Grey Man]

I usually equal strong emotions with egocentricity. It occurs when the feeling of ownership is threatened/reinforced. This is probably the mechanism that is called sosio emtio developed.

No doubt, experiencing strong emotions strengthens the sensation of being a conscious, seemingly independent self. Do you think some people who revel in strong emotions do so because generating them refreshes the feeling of self-sufficiency in origination of thoughts and feelings, of being an independent self? Could such a renewed feeling of independence in turn act enable a bold persuasion, a feeling of one's ownership of something external, something dependent? And could the reinforcement of that feeling of ownership vindicate the feeling of independence associated with the origination, forming a self-stabilizing loop? Is this how the feeling of ownership and strong emotions are interrelated?