Biggest Source of Frustration as an INTP

[AntoniaDodge]

I'm brand-spanking-new-fresh-from-the-blister-packaging on this forum so I'm going to have to request some indulgence. I'm a frequent poster on ENTP.org (as I'm, well, an ENTP) and I have somewhat of a presence on one of the larger INFJ forums (cause I like nutters). I realized recently I've been observing each of the types from a distance, from my own structure through my own lenses and only catching glimpses of their peripherals. Like looking at other people's houses from the inside of my own house and only really seeing garden gnomes and whether or not their lawn needs mowing. I'm currently attempting to remedy that, and as I'm in a relationship with an INTP I figured it was a nice place to start.

What is the greatest source of pain and/or frustration in an INTP's personal and/or professional life?

 

[Carnap]

I am quite sick of my lack of organization and my extreme procrastination and thus my wasted talent.

 

[Fedayeen]

I am content with the world.

But my family drives me crazy

 

[Jennywocky]

I am quite sick of my lack of organization and my extreme procrastination and thus my wasted talent.

yeah -- a lack of direction resulting from uncertainty over my desires, wanting to make the "best choice," and not having enough data to work through the options.

I also dislike doubting myself (and everything else) so much.

And finding it too easy to be a passive third-party narrator of my own life, rather than living it in the moment hands-on.

 

[Cryss Winters]

If you filtered through the 'You know you're an INTP when...' you'd find most of them. haha

 

[Ermine]

I'm too content to be an onlooker on my own life. I end up staying on the sidelines and missing out on a lot of things I should have done.

 

[AntoniaDodge]

If you filtered through the 'You know you're an INTP when...' you'd find most of them. haha

I absolutely will, thanks for the heads up.

I find my INTP beau-hunk to run into the majority of his pain as evidenced by social discomfort. The procrastination and 'being an observer' in his life often times is merely a result of his shyness. He's been told his entire life (by some very SJ parents and grandparents) that's 'not right', so his method was to simply remove himself from what he perceives to be an SJ dominated society.

Is this a fairly common story? A variation on a theme? Or anomalous?

 

[Fedayeen]

I absolutely will, thanks for the heads up.

I find my INTP beau-hunk to run into the majority of his pain as evidenced by social discomfort. The procrastination and 'being an observer' in his life often times is merely a result of his shyness. He's been told his entire life (by some very SJ parents and grandparents) that's 'not right', so his method was to simply remove himself from what he perceives to be an SJ dominated society.

Is this a fairly common story? A variation on a theme? Or anomalous?

I have done one up from that. Removing myself from being a part of society directly.

 

[preilemus]

I guess the fear that I havent really been taking advantage of all my opportunities, which may be leading to my failure in life.


most of the things people have been telling me are my "problems" are actually just INTP traits. unfortunately, most of my life I have looked at these things as problems as well, and so I was trying to "avoid" what I was really like. upon discovering I was INTP, this made me incredibly happy that these things werent problems after all, but because I have been moving in the opposite direction for so long, I really feel inadequate at times compared to other users, whther I'm not as funny, smart, or creative as the other guy around here.

inadequacy I suppose, is a word that sums it all up

 

[zephryi]

Lack of achievement when, if I felt strongly enough about one thing rather than interested in seven, I could easily reach my goal. Repeat, but it truly is the greatest source of frustration...

He's been told his entire life (by some very SJ parents and grandparents) that's 'not right', so his method was to simply remove himself from what he perceives to be an SJ dominated society.

Is this a fairly common story? A variation on a theme? Or anomalous?

Seems to be a variation. Actually, I live with my SJ aunt who does tend to be highly critical, and rarely understands when I try to explain why I did something- she told me what to do, therefore I should have done it and in the correct way, which is not the way I did it, which I would've known if I had been using "common sense". As a result, our relationship is very distant and I rarely leave my room at home, which seems similar to the situation you described. I don't know how similar, but perhaps this maybe be of some use/interest.
--

 

[Kuu]

Besides the much mentioned lack of focus / achievement, is the lack of meaningful connection. I'm just sick of trying to connect, of being understood, to become one with another. I've come to believe that it is impossible, and thus futile, to attempt so. And yet the desire remains, and it is a constant nagging. It's no longer being detached and alone because I want to, but being condemned to it without choice... to be cornered into it, even if sometimes I desire something else.

 

[Affinity’s Edge]

Besides the much mentioned lack of focus / achievement, is the lack of meaningful connection. I'm just sick of trying to connect, of being understood, to become one with another. I've come to believe that it is impossible, and thus futile, to attempt so. And yet the desire remains, and it is a constant nagging. It's no longer being detached and alone because I want to, but being condemned to it without choice... to be cornered into it, even if sometimes I desire something else.

Wow that is beautiful to me, almost bringing me to tears because it hones so accurately upon my own struggle and silent pains. It seems almost impossible to connect at times and the relationships I do have make me feel like a puppet on a string; dancing to the beat of others just to try to fit in. I feel much different than many of the colder INTPs here; and while I do feel cold at times, I think being bipolar has shaded my life with a much deeper reservoir of emotion that would otherwise lie dormant. It has proven to be a blessing and a cursing at the same time. But yes, this would probably be my greatest frustration, more so than a fear of losing personal success and achievement though this is always nagging me as well as receiving it verbally from others. I think more than anything I just want to fit in. I don’t like feeling pushed to the outskirts as an ill wanted remnant of society - though I would never comply or change who I am – I only wish there were more out there like me. So that the genuine encounters, the ones that really mean something might happen more often and might even have a chance to develop. It seems as history is teaching me they never do. I currently have high hopes for a recent ENFJ or borderline INFJ though. And I don't know, despite always being depressed, hope never seems to be distinguished beyond the point of no return. I think if it had I would have killed myself long ago, but as it is such vivid temptations seem to be more a thing of the past.

 

[XIII]

Besides the much mentioned lack of focus / achievement, is the lack of meaningful connection. I'm just sick of trying to connect, of being understood, to become one with another. I've come to believe that it is impossible, and thus futile, to attempt so. And yet the desire remains, and it is a constant nagging. It's no longer being detached and alone because I want to, but being condemned to it without choice... to be cornered into it, even if sometimes I desire something else.

Yes... thank you.

 

[Jennywocky]

He's been told his entire life (by some very SJ parents and grandparents) that's 'not right', so his method was to simply remove himself from what he perceives to be an SJ dominated society. Is this a fairly common story? A variation on a theme? Or anomalous?

*ROFL*

You made me realize what happened to me, which is a twist on your story:

I didn't want to remove myself from my SJ family, I really did want to try to make things work despite the frustration because I do care about them and honor what they did for me in my life.

But there came a time when I could no longer live according to their rules.

And when I started being myself and letting them deal with who I was (rather than murder myself daily for the rest of my life)...

... they removed me.


(I'm actually laughing. I have never looked at it this way before.)

 

[Red Mage]

It would seem ENTPs and INTPs share many things in common in this department.

 

[bdubs]

Besides the much mentioned lack of focus / achievement, is the lack of meaningful connection. I'm just sick of trying to connect, of being understood, to become one with another. I've come to believe that it is impossible, and thus futile, to attempt so. And yet the desire remains, and it is a constant nagging. It's no longer being detached and alone because I want to, but being condemned to it without choice... to be cornered into it, even if sometimes I desire something else.

That is a very good summary of how I have been feeling for the last few months.

 

[merzbau]

finding the energy to compel myself to actually complete the things i start. that's always a struggle.
comparing everyone else's life to mine, feeling like i'm just drifting along with no clear direction or boundaries.
always having to be the initiator in relationships with females. there is something distasteful about courting rituals; they seem so mechanical and alien.
feeling like an impostor in almost every situation (creative, social, work etc.) is common. you can never take your contributions seriously, even when others do.

 

[Chronomar]

I have read on a description of an INTP that we either want to have the spotlight, or nothing at all, there is no contentment, it is all or nothing in terms of success. And sometimes I feel like this.

Sometimes I think being an INTP is living in a paradox...or maybe that's just being human.

I also think that one of the most profound and universal (correct me if I am wrong) aspects of INTPs are that we wonder what we lose by not being like the other types, but do not want to be like the other types at the same time. I sometimes wonder, what would it be like if I was able to relate to others more? I scoff at others' displays of effection and sympathy, but have I ever truely felt what they feel? Or what it would be like if I was a S and not an N...

I somewhat resent only seeing things from this one perspective.

 

[nds]

Being fuckin pissed all the time. I wait all week at a school I can't stand, just to spend two days at a house I cant stand. Few places am I actually content with the situation, even those tainted by stress emanating from my recent epic fails (lol). Went to a dance with a girl I really liked and fucked it up, parents are ashamed of the way I act, cant stand the church but I go every week, lash out at the wrong people. Wrote a song about how I hated stuff and mom found it and called me, I hung up and made her cry. Talked to my little brother about leaving home; he cried, I cried, I'm still here. Feeling trapped is probably the worst.

 

[Ermine]

Besides the much mentioned lack of focus / achievement, is the lack of meaningful connection. I'm just sick of trying to connect, of being understood, to become one with another. I've come to believe that it is impossible, and thus futile, to attempt so. And yet the desire remains, and it is a constant nagging. It's no longer being detached and alone because I want to, but being condemned to it without choice... to be cornered into it, even if sometimes I desire something else.

You hit the nail on the head. I'm so tired of trying to find someone to be one with. I've come somewhat close with a couple people, but nothing profoundly fulfilling. Whether I want to be alone or not, I am.

I also think that one of the most profound and universal (correct me if I am wrong) aspects of INTPs are that we wonder what we lose by not being like the other types, but do not want to be like the other types at the same time. I sometimes wonder, what would it be like if I was able to relate to others more? I scoff at others' displays of effection and sympathy, but have I ever truely felt what they feel? Or what it would be like if I was a S and not an N...

Yes! I'm coming to appreciate myself, but I still feel so "out of it". I don't get why some people feel the need to feel surrounded by friends, or why some people have to keep up with the Jones', why some people have to make decisions right now, why people cry for others, etc. I don't have to be that way, I just want to understand. And something tells me I'd have life a lot easier if I were ESTP rather than INTP, but then I'd be missing out on so much... This discussion I have with myself could go forever.

 

[echoplex]

Probably the N-somnia, or the T-dium.

 

[Red Mage]

I've always figured the source of all of my problems is the fact that I can't get out of my head and into the moment. I really wish I were an S type. If I could leave my head, maybe I could enjoy life, connect with people, I wouldn't be so self-conscious, I would be a little more decisive (though not a total J), and other stuff. It's not that N doesn't have its uses, I just find it much less reliable as an information-gathering function and that it creates the circumstances that lead to the major problems I face.

 

[Razare]

He's been told his entire life (by some very SJ parents and grandparents) that's 'not right', so his method was to simply remove himself from what he perceives to be an SJ dominated society.

Is this a fairly common story? A variation on a theme? Or anomalous?

I have an ISTJ step-father that I grew up with since the age of 3. Only since becoming an adult can I learn to like the guy. I disliked him all while growing up.

He's occasionally thoughtful but this lacks any depth. He may talk about something I'm interested in, but at the very level of complexity my interest perks is the very level of complexity at which he loses interest (or doesn't understand what I said). Practical facts, not the details or nuances. Our T's can't even come in contact with each other.

He never said anything was wrong with me, though. Just probably thinks it occasionally.

 

[jarred]

What is the greatest source of pain and/or frustration in an INTP's personal and/or professional life?

Not being an INTJ.

 

[Felan]

I thought I had some thoughts on this, but then I started to doubt them and in the end my thoughts have slipped away.

If I find them again I'll post them.

 

[Axxom]

Besides the much mentioned lack of focus / achievement, is the lack of meaningful connection. I'm just sick of trying to connect, of being understood, to become one with another. I've come to believe that it is impossible, and thus futile, to attempt so. And yet the desire remains, and it is a constant nagging. It's no longer being detached and alone because I want to, but being condemned to it without choice... to be cornered into it, even if sometimes I desire something else.

*Wipes tear from eye*

It's like you have "friends" you hang out with, but they don't really get you, right?
I mean sure, you may have a few traits in common, but they seem to distance themselves due to the outlandish ideas and thoughts we INTPs constantly have. I have gotten to the point where material objects don't interest me anymore, and I am stuck searching for people I can truly connect with, but in turn that lack for interest in material objects pushes me further away.

 

[truthseeker72]

The painful realization that most of the population really is that shallow. What the "others" lack in depth, however, they compensate for with "in the moment" awareness-something that INTP"s are notoriously deficient in.

Like others on this forum, I feel the most anguish over my inabilty to connect with others. While people generally perceive me as comminicative and friendly, and I can handle myself in most social settings, very seldom do I feel that anybody truly understands me, even family and friends.

On that note, the best way to bond with an INTP is to share, or at least take an interest in, one of his/her passions. An INTP will always lower his/her defenses when talking about a cherished topic.

 

[Tyria]

I found a good example of the shallowness that truthseeker was talking about: Susan Boyle.

YouTube- Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009 (With Lyrics)

Just look at the audience and the judges. They are shallow as hell.

As far as connecting with others, explain. What are you missing that you are looking for with people?

 

[Kuu]

As far as connecting with others, explain. What are you missing that you are looking for with people?

Sharing. What is the point of aspirations if you cannot share them, of knowledge if not to expand it, indeed of happiness AND suffering... if not to share with another kindred spirit?


(In other words... I need other people. Gah, I feel dirty just saying that)

 

[Prof_Pointless]

lack of marijuana legalization, which requires me to attempt (and fail) to maintain social connections, which is quite frankly not worth the effort

 

[chocolate]

I found a good example of the shallowness that truthseeker was talking about: Susan Boyle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Just look at the audience and the judges. They are shallow as hell.

As far as connecting with others, explain. What are you missing that you are looking for with people?

I watched this. I actually could not (and still don't) understand why they were all laughing -- was it her looks? mannerisms? age? (it still doesn't make sense to me; why would any of those things have anything to do with her singing?) Anyone know?

I have noticed that I am much less judgemental than other people (in the sense as above). I often don't understand how people come to the conclusions that they do that so and so is this or that. When they tell me how I'm like "yeah, but that doesn't necessarily mean...", or "but that could be..." at which point they usually just repeat their prior reasoning, not actually having listened to my point!

So the NTP is good for something. (sorry this was supposed to be a negative thread!)

 

[Mars]

My biggest frustration is fumbling social circumstances, It really annoys me that people do not allow the room for communicative error that exists in conversation.

Although I must say that I agree with not being able to connect completely is painful, going through the risk of telling things only to see that they are misunderstood or miscalled. Then the realisation dawns on me that while I may be completely accepted for what I am by someone, I will always doubt that I will be understood enough to satisfy the desire for acceptance.

Always will the doubt linger as to the sincerity and reality of these acceptances that I will seek to push until I find that it falls apart and they are driven away or I am defeated by my incapacity to realise whether or not they actualy understood what I wanted to tell them.

I think it is the perception playing with acceptance with the different possibilities that drives me to fly closer to the sun to see if my wings melt, letting me fall.

I believe it is a general second guessing everything that leads to a hindsight evaluation practically in realtime, this causes me to query how I am 'perrforming' and attempt at readjusting if necessary. Like the feeling you get when you are going somewhere and you are not quite sure about the map. Leading you to guess the vahue directiona nd you will never know if you make if until you get there or admit to yourself you're lost, you'll almost never admit you're lost because you might be so close to your destination you'll never get to if you give up early.

That is my life and it gets debilitating. Partly because I lose my confidence in my decisions and partly because the pace demanded to be capable of operating competently blocks out perception of possibility, leading me to a tunnel of reasoning. I get things done then, but it is draining and too fast paced for me.

hope that helps a bit.

 

[Felan]

Okay I have formulated some thoughts on this finally.

For me being INTP I struggle most with doubt in everything. Even we I open door to the aroma of doubt I have yet to have someone open it the rest of the way, steel themselves against the dark, step in, and breath it in. I don't expect anyone to understand me, I don't feel confident that I understand myself but at the same time I am confident that I know myself far better that majority of people. I think it would be a genuine comfort for someone to simply sample that inkiness and not retreat in horror or revulsion. I don't expect that the person agree or accept what they see, only that they still accept me in spite tasting the edge of that maelstrom. In time trust will build and I would be able to express myself more freely.

It's important for me at least to realize that not every thought or even most thoughts are impulses to be acted on or that there is a desire to act on them. My headspace feels infinite and the contents of it exceed my every perception and expression. If you try to pin one thing down a million others will pop up.

If the words "thinking", "pondering", "wondering", "what if", and such are in the sentence then it best merely to observe, inquire about more details, or add your own conjecture. If the sentence is tinged with "I want to do" or "I want to get better at" or such then some encouragement would be great, though not about myself but how the thing to be done or bettered.

But my parrot often rightly tells me, "Your crazy! Cockoo".

 

[Ghost1986]

What is the greatest source of pain and/or frustration in an INTP's personal and/or professional life?

nothing to o with being an intp. i was born with shitty DNA.

 

[Tyria]

I want to understand you Felan. You up for talking? Send me a PM if you want to.

 

[QSR]

In work-life I really don't like meetings. They tend to be an airing of grievances and repeating of canned answers, rather than becoming a forum for honest debate or problem-solving. As an INTP I find it hard to sit still for more than an hour anyway. Also I find out that I come up with a lot of good ideas but they never get heard by anyone else, because they are so busy blabbing on about this and that.

In my personal life, I simply can't connect with people. Most aren't interested in my analysis of things, and I tend not to be interested in talking about their furniture or whatever. For the most part it's pretty hard to pull me out of my own world and get interested in somebody else's.

 

[AntoniaDodge]

I want to thank you guys for being candid and open on this topic.

I'm currently starting a program with the aim to help the more disenfranchised MBTI types develop their inferior cognitive functions and re-establish some hope and/or motivation for the future. I bounced around to basically every Introverted/Intuitive MBTI forum I could find and asked them the same question. I know for a fact that I'm starting with INTPs. Maybe it's because I'm an ENTP and therefore can relate, but the INTP forums broke my heart more than many of the other types when articulating pains and frustrations. More significantly, INTPs seem to appear over represented amongst the cross section of Most to Offer and Most Disenfranchised.

Thanks again for your candor. It's information that's going to be invaluable.

 

[Venture]

I never used to like watching children telivision like Disney Channel or Nickalodeon because just watching the scenerios and problems the episodes had would make me a bit angry. Television never used to be that frustrating to me when I was younger but now I can't stand it ecspeacily stupid unoriganal commercials, sitcoms, and reality shows. I do however like "educational" telivision but pretty much only PBS.

I also get pissed off just being around certain people ecspeacily certain personality types. Such as SJ's, SF's.


I seem to get angry when things go wrong when they could have very sure enough gone better.

The telivision bit was off subject but I spent over 8 minutes of what to write so I don't want to delete it.

 

[bdubs]

I constantly feel an adversion to following standard procedure of society without first questioning the rational behind it. I question the purpose of blind obedience to the views of the majority and recieve a fair amount of flack for it. I feel that if I make concessions with my position in order to fit into the larger community I would be denying who I am at the most basic level. I would be giving up that which makes me an individual. As a concequence of this I am almost always labeled as strange by my peers. I suppose this may be tied into not being understood.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

I guess the fear that I havent really been taking advantage of all my opportunities, which may be leading to my failure in life.


most of the things people have been telling me are my "problems" are actually just INTP traits. unfortunately, most of my life I have looked at these things as problems as well, and so I was trying to "avoid" what I was really like. upon discovering I was INTP, this made me incredibly happy that these things werent problems after all, but because I have been moving in the opposite direction for so long, I really feel inadequate at times compared to other users, whther I'm not as funny, smart, or creative as the other guy around here.

inadequacy I suppose, is a word that sums it all up

exactly my problems. on this forum i feel so worthless and stupid, uninteresting and dull. i don't belong in normal society or am worthy of my own, completly just don' t belong anywhere.

i feel i will die regretfully and completely alone....

 

[hope]

Not being able to talk to girls, dealing with people with little mental facilities, superiority complex

Does this thing work?
<a href="http://1335n133756005.mypersonality.info" target="_top"><img src="http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/14/146559.png" alt="Click to view my Personality Profile page" border="0" /></a>

 

[Concojones]

I really feel inadequate at times compared to other users, whther I'm not as funny, smart, or creative as the other guy around here.

exactly my problems. on this forum i feel so worthless and stupid, uninteresting and dull. [...] I don' t belong anywhere.

You guys are inadequate indeed, but in a whole different area than you think. Let's have a closer look; what are you doing? You see something REMARKABLE (smart, funny, ...) and then you realize you're only average on that terrain. But what else did you expect? That you'll beat each and every supertalent you see on their own terrain? Or even one supertalent? C'mon guys, be realistic. What you're lacking is not talent; it's self-confidence, basic respect for who you are. Don't you think you owe that to yourself, even if you were a deaf, blind, abandoned retard in a wheelchair? The problem here is not inadequacy, it's a chronic 'keeping up with the Joneses' that you're nurturing. Everyone has strengths, and there will always be other people who are smarter, funnier, richer, whatever. If you can't see any strengths in yourself, it means that you have become (like so many) programmed to look negatively at yourself. Solution: re-reprogram yourself. How? Keep a diary where you list all the things you've done that day that you can be proud of. It will get increasingly easy, and you'll start noticing 'oh this is great for my diary', which is a sign the reprogramming is taking effect. After a few months, you should have your self-respect back, and be ready to shine in what you're good at, whatever it is.

 

[jamez345]

annoying sounds. ughh they piss me off..and the fact that i dont apply myself more...

 

[Tyria]

Being interested in something that most people find mundane. Not being able to communicate why it is interesting to you.

 

[QSR]

Being interested in something that most people find mundane. Not being able to communicate why it is interesting to you.

Ah this is a good one! I'm into maps, geology, weather, personality typing, sports that are not popular in the US, and all kinds of other random boring shit! I'm somewhat good at Jeopardy, though.

 

[Tyria]

I love archery even though it is not as popular as some other things. I find it relaxing to fire each arrow and imagine you are perfecting yourself bit by bit (like creating a sculpture).

Finding time for all our hobbies is difficult too...

 

[Enne]

My experiences with being myself have been turbulent at best, and kind of catastrophic at worst. For an enneagram,

I'm type 5, 4 wing, self preservative type (maybe social?), and I came across these tests a few days ago. I'm an

INTP, and for the most part it has meant feeling as if I am holding myself back. For the most part, except for the

hyperconcentration thing, I think it fits me to a T. After reading the archeatypes, I kind of wish I was an ENTP

though. I don't like theorizing; I respect application and the ability to bring goals and ideas to fruition. I've

spent most of my life in my head, where a series of well developed fantasies exist. I'm sure that I have some sort

of psychological disorder, because I can't go a day without thinking about them. I even use whatever I watch or

read to influence the events that they encounter. It's not like I want to write a novel or something; they're just

there, fizzling out my mental energy and wasting my life. I feel as though I'm in a permanent mental fog; I can't

really get anything concrete done. If I'm focused, it's usually on something of personal interest that can't really

help me. For every situation, there's something internal that's drawing from it. First I have my basic, ongoing

fantasies; those ones have characters that I've named. Their names are Khris, Dylan, Kya, Sean, Briana, etc. They

exist in a fantasy setting and they're for when I want to get away from reality or just imagine people living out

exciting circumstances or real, meaningful relationships (all mine are flimsy and pathetic). The next one is about

myself; it's more traditional and less insane, and is basically who I wish I was. All those characters; I even have

a boyfriend named Vai, are centered around me. That's mostly because I'm invisible in my real life and all of my

friendships are average and unadvantageous and meaningless. In that fantasy I'm good at what I do and well

respected, and people care about helping me grow as a person. It's selfish, but hey who cares; what's my

alternative? The real world where everyone chases meaningless goals with maddening vigor? Sometimes I just carry on

imaginary conversations with whomever I want. I'm usually arguing with them or just telling them off. That works

well with my parents. I dont' like them because they never took the time to try to understand or guide me; I was

just cosntantly punished for acting out and not being like other people's children; my mom especially. I really

hate girls who embody what she wants. I think they're bitches and I think she's a bitch and I think that it's very

unfair that they all get rewarded in this life for being materialistic, extroverted, shallow, subversive and two

faced. I don't understand why most people in this world get rewarded for being nasty and in your face. I don't

think that's a virtue at all and it's not getting humanity anywhere, so why is it perpetuated? I mostly slip back

into fiction when I need a break from reality, which means I'm daydreaming 24/7. But really, I can't see myself

doing life without it. Facing myself and my limits all the time, as well as my unfulfilling life, and

relationships, and the fact that everywhere I turn people who don't deserve it are getting ahead. It's like it

can't be stopped. One of my friends is a highly radicalized activist. I enjoy listening to her plans of revolution

largely because it would give me the chance to be competent and relevant should such an upheaval occur, and also

because it would punish many of the untalented extroverts that take big, fat pieces of the proverbial pie. What I

really wish I had most at this point is just useful people; people in positions above me that I could talk to about

real concerns and problems; not my parents or old teachers who were only interested in literally breaking me,

proving to me, my family and my peers that I didn't belong and was unworthy of anything, and basically giving me

career advice in order to push me into a career that would bring them personal status. I hear a lot that I

shouldn't say bad things about my family or w/e but who cares? I believe that people should be objectively

critiqued on their performance. I feel pretty cheated growing up, because everything essential to myself and

staying afloat I had to discover and do myself. Apart from daydreaming I also over eat alot. It calms my restless

energy, and also helps numb the feelings I get from inadequacy. I feel largely unguided; is it because there's no

one smart enough answer or even address my questions? A year ago I tried the unraveled by a shrink route. I found a

host of people who are shit at what they do. I was almost into the whole antidepressant/antispychotic drug circuit,

but then I just decided taht this too would be something that I had to overcome myself. I faked my way out of a

therapy program when I realized that my parents had essentially dumped me on strangers more incompetent than they

were. I've had pretty big clashes w/ authority my whole life. Going to college has been a dream since I get to live

autonomously; even if it's hard because I basically can't get my mind to focus, or my life to fit into a routine.

I hate to place my development on other people, but I really, really wish I had friends and family and maybe even a

lover that I could grow and learn from. I guess it's back into the recesses of my fantasies for me.

 

[Fred_is_dead_7x]

Hands down: tortured logic. I can't even watch the news anymore...

 

[Enne]

That's a good one. I feel like people waste so many available resources on stupid inconsequential crap...or that too many stupid, bureaucratic people (read: SJ's ) are in control, coupled with the fact that those who want change the most are usually just SJ's or J's gunning for their way to be the way. No one really wants to solve any problems or do any good, and the few idealists out there aren't grounded in the realities of implementation, or the limits of the people this implementation will be serving.

 

[UniquelyCoordinated]

My frustrations would be:
Being unable to determine my desires in regards to career, lack of organization, and the sheer stupidity of it all. The whole "I wish other people weren't so stupid" thing. I would call it a superiority complex, except that I am really smarter than most people.