Being offended

[Artsu Tharaz]

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[Darby]

I wait a day, then I tell them if it's still bothering me. I find revenge unnecessary and probable cause for a continuation of offenses to both parties.

 

[Fukyo]

Who bruised your ego artsu?

 

[GYX_Kid]

Option 1 if I respect the person and believe them to be reasonable/not meaning to offend, and if I could kind of casually bring it up as "advice" or even a warning, without being bitchy about it

The "warning of punishment" thing is something I've really never resorted to, but I would do it probably on someone with an immature Fi/Te who operates in terms of projection/execution and not on the basis of understanding/harmony. (for example.)


If the person is relentlessly unreasonable on personality disorder-levels, I'd just stay away from them. But if for whatever reason I was making a game out of it or had inner demons to purge that the individual created, then your Option 2. Merciless, unprovoked assault to weak points, when the perfect opportunity appears. If they had zero power, then just make it turn out so that they're offended and you're not.

 

[intpz]

I'm hard to offend. I don't remember when was the last time I was offended... Many years ago. When I was a kid. Seriously, I can't think of anything that someone could say that could offend me.

 

[intpz]

?

Losing your creativity I see.

I believe he's referring to your "odd" threads. Continue this conversation with him.

 

[Hadoblado]

Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely certain what being offended entails. Is it when someone says something that might be true and you lose your self-esteem as a result? Wouldn't that just be hurt? Why do people who take offense often act aggressively? If you aggressively defend yourself then doesn't that lend credence to the claims against you?

I'm not trying to go all meta here, I'm sure I've been offended, I just really don't understand.

 

[MissQuote]

Wouldn't you have to care about ones opinion of you in order to be offended?

 

[GYX_Kid]

Sticks and stones can break your bones. People can use those, and so can you.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Now that I think about it, I'm not entirely certain what being offended entails. Is it when someone says something that might be true and you lose your self-esteem as a result? Wouldn't that just be hurt? Why do people who take offense often act aggressively? If you aggressively defend yourself then doesn't that lend credence to the claims against you?

I'm not trying to go all meta here, I'm sure I've been offended, I just really don't understand.

I find myself asking the same questions. It's obviously not entirely self-centered, because it's very possible to be offended for another person. The whole idea is obviously based on emotions. Maybe being offended is what happens when someone seems to show disregard for the emotional state of another person.

 

[crippli]

Is it when someone says something that might be true and you lose your self-esteem as a result? Wouldn't that just be hurt?

Could be. Or that you just find whatever displeasing. Perhaps you don't like skinny people, and will find them offensive.

Why do people who take offense often act aggressively? If you aggressively defend yourself then doesn't that lend credence to the claims against you?

An action will create a reaction. If you find an onion offensive. You will act after newtons third law, and destroy it. Thinking the onion created the action that required reaction.

So you see. Being offended is more like a natural process that creates actions, and motion. To like is very similar. It's not really clear where one ends and the other start. If water comes near a raspberry bush, it will be sucked up by the plant, especially if starving. So acting aggressively will make the offended nourish. But can also drown it if there is lack of reaction.

I'm not trying to go all meta here, I'm sure I've been offended, I just really don't understand.

No worries. Hope that was helpful, and that it's a bit more clear now.

 

[Minuend]

Depends on who it is.

Last time I was offended was with a co-worker who constantly nit picked on trivial details that I did wrong. And she'd be quite rude about it. So one day I told her off, that she didn't need to give me that attitude. Now she nitpicks on pretty much all the other people working there for the summer. And she is constantly whining and talking badly about other people behind their backs.

It's rare that I am offended. I might get irritated at times, but that passes quickly and I just don't care. I always check to see if my emotions are valid. If it's me overreacting, I put it behind me, if it was "objectively" rude, then I tell them.

Though it is rare people are trying to be rude. When people are rude accidentally, I don't care because everyone's tongue slip at times.

 

[Kellhus]

I tend to find that when I am offended, it's from taking something too personally and on an irrational level due to previous experiences with a stereotype of said person. I attempt to deconstruct the feeling and once the logical 'cool down' and discernment has taken place, I generally find nothing left of concern. The only other thing that could offend me is someone purposely deciding to be ignorant, in which case I find myself quite unnecessarily of their acquaintance.

 

[NoID10ts]

I try to remain offended by everything and everyone at all times. Keeps me sharp. Makes me fun at parties.