AGH! I hate humans!

[Melkor]

Ugh. Apologies in advance for this.
I'm in the library.
I can't leave, I have work to do, and yet I feel so bloody wretched here!

This place is busy today, bursting to the seems, there are people everywhere...GOD

Walking past me, typing next to me, chatting, eating, staring, breathing -FUCK!!

It's like they're all parasitic telepaths that are exhausting me simply by their irritating presence.
AGH! They don't even have to do anythingmnjnjewhjjkdfyhj


My inner monologue is becomingly increasingly frustrated and violent, the slightest movement or glance makes me want to swear or SCREAM.
Hjsehjnjnmnkmanbhe!!!!!!!
AGHHHH!

Please fuck tell me I'm not the only one that has this.

I feel like something heavy is leaning on me. O-O and I want to punch all round me.

I HATE YOU HUMANS!!!!!

 

[Melkor]

They have the most irritating faces. All of them!

Uuuuuggggghhh. I can't even begin to explain, it's nightmarish. And I'm not even drunk or high.

I left the library, can't bear it anymore, fuck the work! I'm not going to class. O-o
I had to walk through the mall, WHY IS IT SO BUSY!! GOD.

I'm alright now. I found a nice corner.

Exhausted. -__- From sitting in a chair. What the hell is wrong with me?

 

[magicMount]

Yeah...i had that last term,so now i'd rather stay in my apartment to do all the stuffs.
i really can't bear those chatting ones,and sometime they're even a Group!!
what's the hell are you guys doing here?? It's not a PARTY TIME!!
i want to throw my laptop on their face indeed,but i need to keep calm cos i haven't get the budget for a new one.

 

[snafupants]

There tends to be an inverse relationship between intelligence and sensitivity, on one hand, and sociability and piggishness, on the other. Mostly I find people irritating, destructive, distracting and frivolous. I would imagine a large swath of the forum is in the same camp, at least in their secret heart, especially considering the personalities which marry the general aptitude. Perhaps less keen folk need others for nourishment, and so they desperately struggle in this world of commerce and games which consistently fails to breed happiness. Over the anger at this skittering and sound and the fury, there's something sad and fruit-seeking, right? Funny maybe? Your avatar looks a little deranged and methed-out there Melkor.

 

[conflict]

hmm... seems to me that it's either too much socializing or too little. I know it sounds absurd but it's true. I've been thru both of them. Not a nice experience, so solve it quickly or... explode.

1) too much socializing. it doesn't even have to be talking to people, just being around a massive throng of people is enough to stretch my nerves. had this one during my school's orientation. the solution (if you can call it that)? go to somewhere quiet. e.g. the loo (if it's not too smelly). make sure no one can bug you. see, a nice corner helps...

2) too little socializing. this one is kinda hard to explain. I'm not even sure why this happens. But basically we're around ourselves so much that we have nothing to think about but ^the thoughts above^. this one has a simple but difficult solution: talk. by that i mean to other people, not yourself. i try not to talk in a group, in case no. 1) occurs.

seems to me your problem is no. 1). my suggestion? buy some provisions and a big dog (preferably trained). ask the dog to guard the house, stay in the house.

[hey! why don't we have an exploding smiley?]

 

[Minuend]

Walking past me, typing next to me, chatting, eating, staring, breathing -FUCK!!

FUCK THOSE BASTARDS!!!!!

May they drown in their own blood and gurgle on the pain of lost limbs!!

 

[Cognisant]

I'm thinking you're just stressed, most likely over the work you're trying to do, it's cool man we've all been there and ranting helps, even if it's not overly productive.

There's also the stress inducing mind-trap that plagues NTs, that is assuming you're smarter than this, whatever it is you're doing, you have this profound abstract understanding of what you're doing so you assume it should be easy for you to do, except it isn't, it's hard, and well that's just life. I think you'll find you'll be a lot less stressed if you stop and admit to yourself that it is hard and that there's nothing wrong with having this difficulty, it's not that you're not smart enough, it's just that whatever it is you're doing really isn't that simple.

Or to put it another way, find patience for what you're doing because if you approach it with an impatient attitude any and all difficulty you have is going to be amplified by your impatience, which will frustrate you and make you yet more impatient.

Having a series of successive humiliating failures to my name I like to think I've become something of an expert on failure, of course in saying that I'm sure I'm only setting myself up for further humiliation.

 

[Melkor]

Oh, I got the work done easy. I just hid

God, the elevator next to my hiding place opened though

I'm not sure what happened. I always feel nervous, ill and a bit drained in the crowds, but never to this extent, and never with such aggression. O-o

Fine now. In a lecture with four empty chairs in front of me and four to my right.

I still wish people wouldn't glance at me.

I think I have issues. I'm going to write through this lecture oblivious to it.

 

[Cognisant]

Glance back with a big smile and one eye a bit further open than the other.

 

[Minuend]

I have days like that. On normal days I'm mostly oblivious to the external world. But, occasionally, I get that feeling. I think it's just because my self-esteem is super low on such days.

Having friends help, because then you get some positivism in between all the self-criticism.

 

[Moocow]

Dude it sounds like you drank too much caffeine and now you're having exaggerated paranoia and anxiety.

I mean, I get that feeling too but not to the extent that I'm freaking out. People are just uncomfortable to be around.

 

[Lydia]

Always have felt this way toward the people around me.

Somewhere inside perhaps you had put too much concentration on the people in your environment. Thus, having a break down. Fact --Every individual stares to look for affirmation, in order to feed their ego. You also do.

It is what a "human" does. In my own definition of humans, they are indeed hateable.

 

[yogurtexpress]

Rest assured, they feel the same way about you.

 

[Mello]

If you're stressed, Melkor, we can totally cuddle.

 

[Fukyo]

@Cake, Melkor will appreciate the homoeroticism.

 

[Mello]

@Fukyo
Melkor and I are going to meet one day and make-out.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Your perception is being overstimulated to the point where you can't focus. For lack of a better phrase I'll refer to it as "ADD". When this happens to me I'm incapable of reading a single sentence, re-reading the same sentence over and over before I can understand it, and isolation in solitude for a few hours is normally the only cure. I'm able to slap on the headphones and enter my own musical world for a short time (so engrossed that I dance badly in the middle of the library on occasion), but even that mode doesn't last.

 

[Fukyo]

@Cake sounds hawt

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

@Cake Pics or it didn't happen

 

[Mello]

We'll definitely record it.

I'm serious.
If I ever meet Melkor, we would make-out.

 

[Crazythinker1]

Yeah, I know what you mean Melkor, they do sometimes just seem to be everywhere, but the library? When did that become the favorite hangout place for the chattering masses? Fucking drives me mad. Go away; go talk and be noisy at the mall you stupid shits

 

[snafupants]

We'll definitely record it.

I'm serious.
If I ever meet Melkor, we would make-out.

You would probably have to take him by stealth or brute force. Maybe if you zapped him with a medium dose of electricity from a taser you could momentarily slide in for the win. Perhaps photoshopping that scenario would be easier, although decidedly less enjoyable for one party. Sorry Cake.

 

[Mello]

You would probably have to take him by stealth or brute force. Maybe if you zapped him with a medium dose of electricity from a taser you could momentarily slide in for the win. Perhaps photoshopping that scenario would be easier, although decidedly less enjoyable for one party. Sorry Cake.

No, it's been mutually agreed upon.

The blood oath has been sealed. The devil has been danced with. God has been forsakened. A unicorn has been born. An angel has cried.

Trust me.

 

[Cognisant]

*sells the unicorn to a glue factory*

And that ladies and gentlemen is how we make superglue.

 

[snafupants]

No, it's been mutually agreed upon.

The blood oath has been sealed. The devil has been danced with. God has been forsakened. A unicorn has been born. An angel has cried.

Trust me.

And then you woke up...

 

[Mello]

And then you woke up...

You'll see.. You'll all see!

I'll.. I'll prove you wrong! D;

 

[Treece]

I feel your pain. Living in a dorm definitely was not my cup of tea, I had my own room but shared a common.space and the bathroom with a roommate and its still Hell because I hate.when I'm disrupted at any time by outside noise that I don't want to hear.

I had a class and we were watching a video clip and the people behind me were talking, but not too.loud. then the teacher left and they talk a bit louder now so.I finally turned around and asked them nicely to be quiet. Of course they had to make slight comments about it after class, but bet ya they weren't talking like they thought they were in a field again. I tend to avoid movie theatres now for this same problem. When did it become okay to talk during a movie? The slight whispers are so distracting. And I know that that can't be an INTP thing only. Who wants to watch a movie while having a side convo?

 

[Synthetix]

Sometimes I wonder why I'm not a serial killer.... But then I think that if I tolerate it enough, it will eventually become amusing to watch people and have them around.. I don't want to kill my amusement.

 

[A22]

I only get that with friends and loved ones



I'm not so enthusiastic on my thoughts though. It's more like "leave me alone I don't want to see anybody".

 

[Melkor]

I feel much better after a good nights sleep and plenty of retro gameboy action. (Advance wars<3)

Now however, I'm insanely curious to know what caused this. After all, I'm the Uni library nearly everyday, and I don't feel like that...

Sure, I feel the parasitic life-force draining when the place is busy, and I can't wait to get to my warm lecture theatre, but usually I stick my earphones in, read or write something and zone out everyone. (Provided I can get a seat next to the wall. I honestly can't work without one.)

But I've never felt so distressed in all my life.

I swear! When I did find that corner, I just slumped against the wall breathing heavily and trying to think what the hell had happened.
And then (as I seemed to have tried to mention already) the elevator door a few feet away from me opened, and I had this strange reaction. I saw it open out of the corner of my eye, I was totally aware of it opening. But when I turned around and a person walked out (as one expects from any elevator), I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was such a delayed reaction!

I don't know, I was a bit stressed that day, and the library was unusually busy. So much so that a librarian came down to issue a Health and safety notice and remind us to stop using Facebook.

I'm just wondering if there are biological issues I can relate to this...

@Cake: I don't remember making any such pact! Was I massively pissed at the time?

 

[Otherside]

It all sounds like an INTP/ADD situation to me (from experience).

 

[Minuend]

Panic attack

 

[snafupants]

Panic attack

Yeah bro, someone turned the spigot on your cortisol pump big-time. Did you partake in an extra coffee yesterday morning, eat anything funky or fail to get adequate sleep? Sometimes sensitive folk just get overstimulated via low latent inhibition and too much noise, not much rhyme or reason to it. That library sounded like an unsupervised teenage monkey-house Lord of the Flies weekend, sponsored by Smirnoff. Stay fresh.

 

[HDINTP]

I don´t like being around people too but sometimes it just happens. And when i am in situation like this i just don´t do anything, have a shower and go to bed, that works really well for me.

 

[lucky12]

Everything what snafs/hdintp said + maybe a little exercise and/or sex would help.

I get these episodes, sleep/shower seems to cure them for me. I just accept the fact that I know something is wrong, if I can't find the cause I know it is just some kind of chemical imbalance. Something I can't know for sure. Once you accept it and you realize it is only a momentary lapse of clear judgment you can relax.

 

[Mello]

I feel much better after a good nights sleep and plenty of retro gameboy action. (Advance wars<3)

Now however, I'm insanely curious to know what caused this. After all, I'm the Uni library nearly everyday, and I don't feel like that...

Sure, I feel the parasitic life-force draining when the place is busy, and I can't wait to get to my warm lecture theatre, but usually I stick my earphones in, read or write something and zone out everyone. (Provided I can get a seat next to the wall. I honestly can't work without one.)

But I've never felt so distressed in all my life.

I swear! When I did find that corner, I just slumped against the wall breathing heavily and trying to think what the hell had happened.
And then (as I seemed to have tried to mention already) the elevator door a few feet away from me opened, and I had this strange reaction. I saw it open out of the corner of my eye, I was totally aware of it opening. But when I turned around and a person walked out (as one expects from any elevator), I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was such a delayed reaction!

I don't know, I was a bit stressed that day, and the library was unusually busy. So much so that a librarian came down to issue a Health and safety notice and remind us to stop using Facebook.

I'm just wondering if there are biological issues I can relate to this...

@Cake: I don't remember making any such pact! Was I massively pissed at the time?

@Melkor Nope, you complied, completely.

 

[snafupants]

@Melkor Nope, you complied, completely.

Nice try Cake. Hopefully that defense will hold up in court.

 

[Cognisant]

It probably would

 

[snafupants]

It probably would

Maybe if Cake expertly planted drugs or bribed the judge he would stand a better chance. In either instance, winning would be more of an eyes-closed hail mary than a poised slam dunk. Best of luck Cake.

 

[Mello]

You sound jealous.

Melkor and I will cuddle, kiss, and gay stuff.

 

[snafupants]

You sound jealous.

Melkor and I will cuddle, kiss, and gay stuff.

Maybe you'd like to expand on gay stuff?

 

[Mello]

Maybe you'd like to expand on gay stuff?

Hold hands. Play with each other's hair.
Watch Final Fantasy: Advent Children together.

 

[MissQuote]

This thread has the dirty C word in it too much. Started to give me a panic attack near the end there just reading it so much.

 

[Melkor]

Shit. I spelt 'seams' wrong.

I don't personally think it was a panic attack, but that seems like the best explanation...

I just always thought that panic attacks were pretty easy to spot, but I'm certain that I didn't make any kind of facial or bodily cue while I was having this bout of madness. I just sat rooted to my chair, screaming in my head.

@Cake:

Yes to Advent children, no to everything else.

 

[Fukyo]

@Cake


@Melkor's playing hard to get

 

[snafupants]

Hold hands. Play with each other's hair.
Watch Final Fantasy: Advent Children together.

That will make a rather bizarre personal pouch. Let's look down and see what we can find: Final Fantasy, all right; plaid spread, perhaps for picnicking; K-Y Jelly, this is getting interesting; two (2) undersized pair of swimming trunks, admittedly steamy; and, the pièce de résistance, one (1) Britney Spears' Crossroads limited edition DVD, hot. You two will have many hours of unsupervised fun...unless Cake has craftily planted a camera.

 

[Mello]

@Cake


@Melkor's playing hard to get

He can't play hard to get if he's already mine. >:]

 

[Melkor]

Well I hate to break it to you guys, but I've already been promised in a threeway marriage to Fukyo and Minuend.

I'd break it off, but I think these chains are made my adamantium!

They do however, charge highly competitive rates!

On topic. I have been exhausted these past few days. I can only presume this links to the symptoms of a 'panic attack'.

Although I think all that needs to be said has been said. Thanks for your comments my equally loony tosser mentalist forumites.

 

[EditorOne]

I can empathize, literally, with the panic attack explanation. Some of us are apparently never free of the possibility of simple discomfort escalating into extreme freefloating anxiety. Happened to me last week, and I thought I had all this whupped years ago. Briefly, I have a new part-time gig where I help people moving here from other countries relocate. It was within my comfort zone because I know enough about this area, having lived here since 1998, to explain it, find things, and I know who's a good real estate broker and who's not. However, the company asked me if I felt up to helping them relocate someone in another area about an hour away, where they had no one local, and in a fit of bravado and INTP overconfidence, I said "sure." And this was my first assignment, so remember I'm now doing something I've never done before in a place I don't know with people I've never met.
That catapulted me into a hostile world of real estate people who had never ever heard of an international company specializing in relocations, unfamiliar geography, stranger after stranger, and a family with whom I spent 16 hours in a car, mostly listening to them talk about I know not what in a language I don't speak. I did not know enough about the area to effectively guide them, and had to learn it on the fly, especially the schools, a critical factor for them: That area has schools that are the best in the state and others where people get into machete fights walking home from the high school.
Yes, I pulled it off, I am INTP, hear me roar, etc., but I have newfound empathy with what Melkor went through and what many of the younger INTPs share in their stories of social anxiety, general anguish, and serious disconnect. There were times I felt exactly how I remember I felt at age 14: Alone in a hostile world, scared over things I couldn't describe, depressed, miserable. Almost but not quite to the point of not being able to function. Surprised the heck out of me.
So: (Analysis, of course) While we get bored with the commonplace and constantly seek challenges, some of us can get ambushed by the old bogeymen if we get seriously far out of our comfort zones and overload on things we normally avoid.
(I made a quick and full recovery by going into isolation mode and reading several books by favorite authors as soon as the assignment was over. Just sharing and adding to the INTP wiki. )

 

[Minuend]

I've had my share of panic attacks. I didn't realize what they were, though. I thought panic attacks were more fainting/ hyperventilating stuff. Mine was in a different form. I've only had one panic attack, I think, since I started taking meds for it.

That's when I understood how easy everything socially were for other people.