A genie appears, you have 3 wishes.

[Bronzere]

You could of course walk away, if your that cool, but what would you wish for? Why? Would you be overcome with greed and wish for more wishes? infinite money? babes?

I have pondered this often, and firstly, I would doubt the genie's ability to grant wishes, then I would question the magnitude of the genie's power and if I need to be extremely precise so no misunderstanding screws everything up. In the end I decided to be one of those guys and mess with the djini with some paradox or other, such as;
Wish 1: I wish that If this wish becomes true, that my next wish shall not.
Wish 2: I wish that my last wish is undone.

Genie: that is but two, mortal. A third was promised.

(then I'll be all generous and give him his very own wish If I haven't screwed him up too much)
Wish 3: I wish that the last wish should go to you and for you to do whatever you wish with it.

I have thought that he may wish that I die a gruesome death, so be it, it would be a bit harsh, but I just want to know what he/it wants. What do you think he would say?

Yes, I do see flaws with my paradox, but that was all that came to mind at the time. This is my first thread, and to be honest, it feels like I'm trolling. Oh well.

 

[Words]

Maybe I'm slow, but I don't see the paradox.

Wish 1: My next wish will not become true. /is in effect
Wish 2: My last wish will be undone. /cancelled
Wish 3: Your wish.

I guess I'd wish to be smarter... then my next wish would hopefully be better.

 

[Abraxas]

After your second wish the genie would probably just stare at you with a poker face and slowly say "Riiiight. Ok. I see what you did there." And then ask you for your third wish.

My wishes:

1. The skeleton key (If the genie was unsure what it meant, I'd be more than happy to explain.)
2. Shit...can't really think of anything else...tell you what, genie! Donate the second one to charity, you know let's make a wish that benefits as many beings as possible, without the individual benefactor consuming the other benefactors.
3. This the cliché wish and it's all your's, baby!

 

[Beholder]

1. The power to "save" and "load" in real life, and if I die I automatically go back to my last save, unless specified otherwise.
2. The power to shapeshift into animals or people, while my human brain somehow exists and is functioning alongside the animal brain.
3. A TIME MACHINE!!!!!

 

[hitode-kun]

1. To be able to not give a damn.
2. To have higher emotional and physical thresholds.
3. To have more time.

 

[Oedipus]

1. Time Travel
2. Shapeshifting
3. Extra intelligence

 

[Abraxas]

1. To be able to not give a damn.

And not a single fuck was given after that wish

 

[Zionoxis]

1. The ability to materialize any object in any location I choose.
2. The ability to give myself whatever ability I choose and it's duration will be based on my own choice.

The third wish will be kept on the shelf until I find something I want does not encompass my first two wishes.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

1. That this wish and every other wish I make will be carried out exactly as I intend.
2. That the Genie would become both able and willing to grant a request for more wishes.
3. 42 quintillion more wishes.

 

[Beholder]

1. That this wish and every other wish I make will be carried out exactly as I intend.
2. That the Genie would become both able and willing to grant a request for more wishes.
3. 42 quintillion more wishes.

Nice

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Nice

Some time ago, I heard about the no wishing for more wishes limitation and how some wishes were supposedly corrupted from the original intent, and I immediately tried to find a way around it.

 

[Bronzere]

I was kind of hoping that if I waste my wishes on nothing, that I would surprise the genie with my non-greed, and that this will make him see that we aren't all looking to cheat real life, and out of his new found feelings, he would grant me something awesome like everlasting wishes, even though I had used up my 3

If I didn't want to waste my wishes, they would be something like this;
Wish 1: That my lifespan was significantly increased, and that I could only die when the time had elapsed, if I did not want to die. Something like 500 more years, so I could learn more.
Wish 2: That I could spontaneously teleport onto the surface of any planet I chose, and that its atmospheric conditions could not harm me(or anything else for that matter). Then once I'm done exploring and picking up rocks, I can appear back on earth as if no time elapsed, carying my alien trinkets.(not necesarily from aliens, just foreign)
Wish 3: to be able to manipulate gravity in small isolated pockets, or on a larger scale. So I could crush people flat to the ground, or make them fall off the earth.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

1. Be smarter and such.
2. Turn invisible at will.
3. Be immortal.

I think these are good wishes. The be immortal thing might run into problems though but I'd deal with that problem when it gets there.

 

[Bronzere]

1. Be smarter and such.
2. Turn invisible at will.
3. Be immortal.

I think these are good wishes. The be immortal thing might run into problems though but I'd deal with that problem when it gets there.

Why waste a wish with be smarter, when it is already included in immortality? What exactly do you mean "Be smarter"? Do you mean to know more, or to have a better understanding of new ideas faster? I think Immortality would be one of the greatest wishes, yet it has greater problems.

 

[Auburn]

Zionoxis & Dr.Freeman have the best so far, lest by some technicality were not grantable.

But really, in that situation I'd first try to have a long chat with the Genie, ask him the extent of his powers, how specifically he can grant wishes, how he became a genie in the first place, and so on.

Then decide my wishes after that. I might decide to be a free-genie, for example, if I can conclude it's a good idea. If he wasn't up for a chat, then I'd go by trial and error, testing different omni-wishes until something worked, hoping a dud wish doesn't actually reduce my wishcount. I'd try things like:

1. Godhood/Omnipotence, according to my personal definition of it.
1. To exist immortally as a disembodied spiritual consciousness that can manipulate the laws of reality at will.
1. The ability to grant wishes of the same calibur as a genie, both to myself and others, by my will without restriction or needing to be a genie.
1. The ability to make my imaginations reality, and to undo those whenever I please.
​

Secondarily: (after assuring some form of infinitum ability)

2. Telepathy
2. Shapeshifting
2. Come to earth in a cloud as Jesus Christ, then loljk everybody.
2. Recreate the entire order of the world, ending malice and destruction.
2. Give a certain level of abilities to certain humans I consider noble.
2. Augment the velocity of my consciousness by a millionfold.
2. Go into every mind in the world all at once and learn everything about everyone.
2. Find the noblest humans among them - as well as souls most compatible with my own, and give them the same powers as I have.
2. Travel the Universe with this group & visit other Intelligent Races.​

 

[thatsummer]

1) i wish all of my functions were fully developed, and for the wisdom to know how to use them.
2) i wish i had a ridiculous amount of energy to apply all my functions.
3) i wish everyone recognized my value and had only positive emotions about me.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Why waste a wish with be smarter, when it is already included in immortality? What exactly do you mean "Be smarter"? Do you mean to know more, or to have a better understanding of new ideas faster? I think Immortality would be one of the greatest wishes, yet it has greater problems.

Hmm, good point. I guess yeah that's pretty much what I meant by being smarter but seeing as that's not necessary I'll switch it so my new list is:

1. A fully supplied hut on land of my choosing with functioning plumbing, electricity, internet, etc. Also, it is undetectable by any government so I will never have to pay taxes or do jury duty or whatever it is that governments make people do. And regularly scheduled airdrops of supplies to keep me fully stocked.
2. Turn invisible at will.
3. Be immortal.

 

[NO_ARM_NINJA]

1. My will be done
2. after realizing i had just granted myself ultimate power just chill and party with this Genie for eternity
3. Profit?

 

[Bronzere]

Zionoxis & Dr.Freeman have the best so far, lest by some technicality were not grantable.

But really, in that situation I'd first try to have a long chat with the Genie, ask him the extent of his powers, how specifically he can grant wishes, how he became a genie in the first place, and so on.

Then decide my wishes after.

This is exactly what I would do, and I agree that there are some epic ideas here, yours included. Especially messing with the religious ones. Haha, that would be legendary. You'll be all like and they'll be like then you'll be like "Haha! Got you!"

 

[Bryson]

The invisibility idea was stolen from Cheeseumpuffs.
1- Ability to time travel. This would be fun. Also, I could go back in time once immortality puts me in trouble. Money wouldn't be a problem, as I would go to the future and take note of market flutuations in the present.
2- Immortality(but I'd want the option to suicide. What if everyone dies and I am the only one left? I guess it wouldn't be a life worth living)
3- Turn invisible at will. I'd prefer not to elaborate, but it would be fun.

 

[RaBind]

1) Total control/mastery and understanding of body and the psyche
2) Having the ability to travel to different realities (this includes cyberspace and any other, if there are any)
3) Having the knowledge of god (if there is one) until I understand everything and having everything go back to what it was like before I found the genie except this time there was no genie, if there is no god than finding peace and not being curious (basically not caring)

 

[Melkor]

Immortality without ageing.

The ability to assume any form I wished when I wished.

A planet to myself, that was made entirely of libraries.

That is all I desire.

 

[Melkor]

But really, in that situation I'd first try to have a long chat with the Genie, ask him the extent of his powers, how specifically he can grant wishes, how he became a genie in the first place, and so on.

Then decide my wishes after that. I might decide to be a free-genie, for example, if I can conclude it's a good idea. If he wasn't up for a chat, then I'd go by trial and error, testing different omni-wishes until something worked, hoping a dud wish doesn't actually reduce my wishcount. I'd try things like:

1. Godhood/Omnipotence, according to my personal definition of it.
1. To exist immortally as a disembodied spiritual consciousness that can manipulate the laws of reality at will.
1. The ability to grant wishes of the same calibur as a genie, both to myself and others, by my will without restriction or needing to be a genie.
1. The ability to make my imaginations reality, and to undo those whenever I please.
​

Secondarily: (after assuring some form of infinitum ability)

2. Telepathy
2. Shapeshifting
2. Come to earth in a cloud as Jesus Christ, then loljk everybody.
2. Recreate the entire order of the world, ending malice and destruction.
2. Give a certain level of abilities to certain humans I consider noble.
2. Augment the velocity of my consciousness by a millionfold.
2. Go into every mind in the world all at once and learn everything about everyone.
2. Find the noblest humans among them - as well as souls most compatible with my own, and give them the same powers as I have.
2. Travel the Universe with this group & visit other Intelligent Races.​

Make friends with the Genie.
Pose as jesus.
Save the earth.
Form a new ingroup composed of like minded individuals.
Increase your ability to invade and dissect the minds of others.
Play God... Repeatedly.


Oh Auburn, why your mother didn't call you letter six I'll never know.

 

[Cognisant]

1. Tell the genie to fuck himself.

Old nick lent me his books of tricks, wishful thinking was in the first chapter.

 

[Hammo]

1) I wish to receive the best possible outcome from having three wishes.

Or, as an alternative to wishing for more wishes or personal omnipotence (I can see reasons why they may fail), one could wish for total mastery of the genie (ie, you can control it's totality.) It would thus be unable to deny you any further wishes, be unable to betray you and whatever the scope of it's power may be, you will now have total access to it.

 

[Sanctum]

1.Mental and Physical Perfection
2. Clear insight to life its aesthetics (Philosophical perfection)
3. All the powers of every fictional supernatural being

 

[Dapper Dan]

The first two don't matter so long as the third lets me be eternal friends with a magical Robin Williams.

 

[Silent_Rebel]

1- I'd wish for the girl :P
2- I'd wish immortality for me and my closest group of friends.
3- I'd wish for very good charisma and a good voice to use it with.

I don't see the point in being all philosophical and shit. Just enjoy yourself...

 

[Owfin]

One of my wishes is of course the "wish for more wishes" one. Another would be to follow my wishes to the spirit and not just the letter. I would add to that, "And don't try to mess with me and follow that rule exactly to the letter"

 

[Vrecknidj]

Assuming there are no negative consequences as a result of my wishes...

1) A long, healthy, mostly happy life for myself, my friends and loved ones.
2) Satisfying occupation (not necessarily "a job" though that would be fine) that is neither particularly time consuming nor financially inadequate.

That's about it. No real need for a third one.

 

[pjoa09]

Undo all the wishes he gave to others.

Give me exclusive rights to wishes.

Give me unlimited wishes.

Inequality bitches.

 

[Lydia]

1. To meet cartoons
2. Be able to fly
3. Infinite wishes

 

[Synthetix]

1. To become a genie who is capable of granting myself wishes

 

[Particle]

If there were a no more wishes policy that let's say is not lawyerable, I'd take these three most likely:

1. A toggleable mode where I may choose to be or not to be maintained in an immortal state (not aging, immune to damage, etc--not just growing older without dying). This would let me flip back and forth between being able to grow old and die (my preferred choice of exit) or being immortal. If something awful happens where it's not worth living anymore, that gives me an out that doesn't involve suicide. Kind of. If you have the choice to be immortal or not, letting yourself "not" is sort of a slow suicide in itself isn't it?

Not having to worry about getting stuff done on any particular time frame would immediately resolve many personal problems. There'd be no pressure for instance to make something of myself in rapid order lest I die before having done something significant. There'd likewise be no pressure to form a family before I get too old to do so. I'd be free to enjoy myself at my own pace.

2. Toggleable mode: Immense clarity of the mind. I want things to remain difficult enough for me to enjoy learning. Clarity would just promote that task while removing that crappy frustration feeling encountered when exploring something new.

3. Toggleable mode: A feeling of richness and contentment. Money doesn't really matter so long as you feel like you're living a good life. If you're permanently content, there's no resource to run out of either.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Assuming there are no negative consequences as a result of my wishes...

1) A long, healthy, mostly happy life for myself, my friends and loved ones.
2) Satisfying occupation (not necessarily "a job" though that would be fine) that is neither particularly time consuming nor financially inadequate.

That's about it. No real need for a third one.

If I were the genie, I would decrease your mental abilities to the point where you would be perfectly content sweeping floors or laying plaster. You would be happy (ignorance is bliss, after all). If your former self were to see you, (s)he would not be happy, but since that person no longer exists, it it irrelevant.

 

[Solitaire U.]

1. Tattoo S.T.A.L.K.E.R. on my right forearm.

2. Transport me to the Chernobyl exclusion zone somewhere in the vicinity of Pripyat.

3. Make all my Shadow of Chernobyl/Clear Sky/Call of Pripyat fantasies real.

*edit* 4. Make all the plaster layers and floor sweepers disappear just to watch Freeman writhe in confusion about how to live in a plasterless, unswept world.

 

[BigApplePi]

Wishes:

1. World peace that would include yours truly.
2. A solution to the mystery of the universe.
3. A not too difficult way to get into heaven.

 

[Wasp]

I'm with Freeman with on this one, I think we would all try to think of a way to make sure that our will gets carried out completely.....then wish for more wishes.

 

[Zionoxis]

Would one consider mine 'lawyering' the wish system?

 

[tepellian]

I thought about manipulating the system, but I would want to make it so I don't have to. So here goes:

1. Complete knowledge of every aspect of existence. (My original wording was 'physical aspect', but just in case that gets limited to the things the genie perceives as 'physical', rather than encompassing everything, which I think of as probably having some physical basis, I took it out.)

2. Ability to manipulate every aspect of existence in any way I can conceive of.

Should I still want to use the third wish, I might just take a shortcut and wish for intelligence/awareness expanded to some extreme point. But would I need it? The challenge and fun in it all for me thereafter is figuring out all the ways to apply everything I have suddenly learned. I could build my own time machine, figure out how to achieve immortality or create the pattern for my own life, and so forth.

Eh, then again, it would probably get boring because there's no fundamental knowledge left to build, so I ought to approach it the other way around:

1. Ability to manipulate any aspect of existence in any way I can conceive of.

2. Raw intelligence, memory, awareness of whatever is in focus, and all other mental capacities increased to extremely super-human heights. (To be specified then.)

I don't have the aspect of lacking health currently, dying is not a threat to me. With those two I should be able to learn a ton in a short time and build my understanding of it readily. Then I can have both the time machine/immortality/so on, and the achievement of having come up with the knowledge to build it, or make it happen, myself. I think whether or not the first wish gives me superpowers depends on how creative I can be; we would just have to find out. (I like to understand or at least know about things before I use them, bit of a mental tick of mine, so maybe not in the beginning.)

 

[Jah]

1. For me to become like Dr. Manhattan (from Watchmen, basically like a God.)
2. For all sentient beings to reach Enlightenment
3. For the genie to experience an eternity of pure bliss.


I'd be able to take it from there...

 

[Tannim]

I would have to go with.
1:immortality spent in perfect health
2:the ability to read and speak in peoples minds when I wish to
3:the ability to make make natural things grow at an accelerate rate

 

[Cryss Winters]

1. Immortality
2. Eternal Youth
3. Being able to pull out the exact amount of currency required to pay for any transaction at hand.

 

[Geminii]

The ability to, on demand, mentally receive a comprehendable summary of the totality of human knowledge on a subject of choice.

...that's pretty much it. I'd be happy just to know what anyone/everyone else knows. I wouldn't extend my lifespan supernaturally, in case my superknowledge and natural inclination to meddle screws the world up while I remain alive. At least there'd be a chance to get back to normal in a couple of decades when I die.

If I had to pick a second wish... I dunno. The ability to warp space as desired? Teleportation, bags of holding, portable holes, doors to anywhere, psuedo-flight, psuedo-superstrength, remote disarmament... superhero stuff, in general. If nothing else, it'd cut down on time spent getting from A to B.

 

[Konrad13]

1:That this wish and all wishes made by me are carried out in a the fashion that I would want them to be carried, and are incapable of corruption. An example of this would be if I were to wish to have the ability to fly I would acquire flight in a manner similar to Superman, simply willing myself into and out of flight, rather that a corrupted form where I am instead turned into a fly.
2:The ability to traverse the multiverse as well as create pocket dimensions, but in order to go from on to the next, I must return to my "home plane," and that if I were to be in apparent danger, the ability would auto-negate itself for my safety. This would prevent the ability of becoming loss, as well as preventing me from suddenly appearing the Elemental Plane of Fire and dying.
3:That the genie and all other mystical beings capable of granting wishes, even corrupted ones, lose all further abilities to grant said wishes, and all beings that could possibly evolve or be granted these wish-granting abilities be denied the power so as to prevent chaos in the cosmos from short-sighted or idiotic wishes.

 

[Taniwha]

I would only have one wish;

1: That the genie would be free and no longer bound to a master or source against its own will, but to have the freedom to experience life in a positive, moralistic fashion.

I already have everything I need in life.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

To have more motivation

To always have a way to get emergency money when needed

To be a Vampire
(couldn't think of a third... that sounds awesome though!)

 

[P.H.]

Immortality. The rest doesn't really interest me.

 

[Reluctantly]

I can't wish for anything. Every wish that I think of, I can deduce a way that the Genie can still grant my wish, but in effect screw me over in some other way, making the wish not wanted.

 

[BigApplePi]

I can't wish for anything. Every wish that I think of, I can deduce a way that the Genie can still grant my wish, but in effect screw me over in some other way, making the wish not wanted.

Are you sure? You could wish for immortality and get prison for life and constant pain. So you add freedom and good health and lack of boredom? Now what does the genie do?

If you're going to deal with genies you have to make it as real as possible.