Am I INFJ or ENFJ??

[brandywk]

I've taken a handful of tests all different, half the time my result is INFJ and v/s. In social settings I am extroverted and I talk a lot. But I don't enjoy large parties (loath small talk), clubs, bars, ect. Just got brave and went to my first concert last month I miss my bed when on vacations, would rather watch a movie or read a book then go out.
So at face value I seem to identify as introvert. Why then do I keep testing ENFJ?? I should say that I seem to have a talent to getting others to do what I wish

 

[Cherry Cola]

How much time do you spend alone vs how much time do you spend with other people?

Do you run out of energy if required to socialize for too long so that you need to spend time alone or do you start going crazy if you don't get out?

 

[Minuend]

You are a sensor

 

[brandywk]

I'm a stay at home mom, and my kids drive me crazy, (one child acts like an ENTJ) at the end of the day I crave alone time. Most days I find excuses not to go out, but usually when the weekend comes I enjoy going to church and small family parties.

 

[brandywk]

huh?

 

[brandywk]

You are a sensor

I know I am not a sensor! I took a facial recognition test and failed miserably, yet I just get how others feel. It's helped me immensely with my daughter who has severe anxiety, OCD, and history of Select Mutism.

 

[Jennywocky]

I've taken a handful of tests all different, half the time my result is INFJ and v/s. In social settings I am extroverted and I talk a lot. But I don't enjoy large parties (loath small talk), clubs, bars, ect. Just got brave and went to my first concert last month I miss my bed when on vacations, would rather watch a movie or read a book then go out.
So at face value I seem to identify as introvert. Why then do I keep testing ENFJ?? I should say that I seem to have a talent to getting others to do what I wish

Well, I've heard it said that ENFJs are one of the most introverted extrovert types out there.

Usually I recognize extroverted folks by their obvious extroversion, but I have a close who tests as ENFJ (after I had thought about it and independently of my thoughts), and while she doesn't come off as super-extroverted, the ENFJ type is what I thought she would have to be as far as her function preferences (T/F and S/N) went. She just has a more low-key, casual extroversion about her -- she knows everyone, everyone likes her, and she's very aware of who people are as people, and while she has a lot of instinctive reactions to people and likes closure and doesn't like to date guys with no drive, she's one of the EJ types that isn't the stereotype.

In practical experience, I've found INFJs to be very private and more solitary even if they are friendly on the social level. It's like they keep themselves locked up tight inside and few really get into that core.

I know I am not a sensor! I took a facial recognition test and failed miserably, yet I just get how others feel. It's helped me immensely with my daughter who has severe anxiety, OCD, and history of Select Mutism.

I don't really have any S/N impression of you, but why do you think that all is related to sensing? Because of the inability to remember facial details? (What exactly is that test? I don't think I've heard of it.)

 

[Cherry Cola]

Yeah, INFJs keep a certain distance between themselves and the rest of the world. They aren't as straight about themselves as ENFJs preferring to only show parts of themselves, they are natural actors in this sense.

 

[own8ge]

I don't think MBTI is something for you.

 

[brandywk]

I don't think MBTI is something for you.

Why?

 

[TheManBeyond]

your eyes are quite similar to my first exgf's

 

[Brontosaurie]

sensing personality has nothing to do with competent use of senses

it's a bit of a misnomer

 

[brandywk]

your eyes are quite similar to my first exgf's

Sorry to hear about your x

 

[brandywk]

I guess I'll just type myself as Xnfj. I have traits from both personalities. Sigh... so much for finding a place to belong. I've always felt out of place and have yet to find my niche.

 

[brandywk]

My Enneagram is 2w1. Just found this...

Yes, 2 is one of the most common Enneagrams for ENFJs. Are you attempting to figure out if being a type 2 has some sort of effect on your status of INFJ? If so, I would say that it wouldn't be incredibly unusual for an INFJ to be a type 2 either.

Since you're being lazy, I did some of the busywork for you. ;]

Here's Timeless and a simplified description of the 2w1 and the 2w3:

Type Two with a One Wing:

Type Two's primary motivation is to be helpful, while Type One is principled and self-critical. 2w1 combines these two elements. 2w1 individuals like to help because it's the “right thing to do” and this reflects their firm moral code. They can be particularly selfless and generous, although when unhealthy, they can develop a martyr complex.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Sounds like ISFJ

 

[Brontosaurie]

sensing personality has nothing to do with competent use of senses

it's a bit of a misnomer

.

 

[brandywk]

Sounds like ISFJ

Nope! Husband is an ISFJ, we do not think a like at all! I test high on N & F. He's in tune to details, looks for the facts, and is a realist. I on the other hand am always trying to figure out the future for which am either optimistic or pessimistic. Facts, eh.. I like the idea of things and think more theoretically. I'm also very imaginative! I make up stories every night to get my 6yr old to sleep ("Mom, can you give me a dream and a back rub"). I also love to write, although I just started and am learning the craft.

 

[Brontosaurie]

sensing personality has nothing to do with competent use of senses

it's a bit of a misnomer

.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Nope! Husband is an ISFJ, we do not think a like at all! I test high on N & F. He's in tune to details, looks for the facts, and is a realist. I on the other hand am always trying to figure out the future for which am either optimistic or pessimistic. Facts, eh.. I like the idea of things and think more theoretically. I'm also very imaginative! I make up stories every night to get my 6yr old to sleep ("Mom, can you give me a dream and a back rub"). I also love to write, although I just started and am learning the craft.

that's just arrogance in conjunction with the basic insight that N is cooler than S.

 

[brandywk]

that's just arrogance in conjunction with the basic insight that N is cooler than S.

Wow, you guys are mean! So much for being nice to the newbie Didn't know there was etiquette on showing pride for your Ni.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Wow, you guys are mean! So much for being nice to the newbie Didn't know there was etiquette on showing pride for your Ni.

i was descriptive, not mean. if arrogance is a bad thing to you, then by all means work on it. not my responsibility.

you've given no good reasons for excluding the possibility of your being an S type, yet you are so utterly convinced of being an xNFJ that you can't even pretend to consider any alternatives. an INFJ sure would pretend that in a public context like this one. an INFJ also likely wouldn't be "learning a craft" but would be doing whatever he/she felt like, conjure something and own it, eschewing the confines of standard and authoritative precedence. maybe i misinterpret the wording there? it just gives me the vibe of having an uncritically internalized model.

"i'm all theoretical and stuff, i like ideas and stuff, i don't like facts and stuff" ok? reasonably you would be asking for outside opinions in order to get some independent perspectives on your behavior and mental style. i don't see why we're called for if the task is simply to confirm your beliefs about yourself and their obvious congruity with N type descriptions...

you have clearly bought into the disproportionate N-bias of pre-chewed pop typology, seemingly without realizing this.

inferior Ni anyone? (me or brandywk, y'all choose)

 

[Brontosaurie]

(just some casual internet stranger bashing, don't take me seriously if there's no use in it)

 

[subwayrider]

(just some casual internet stranger bashing, don't take me seriously if there's no use in it)

yeah.

i can scarcely imagine the glory of your sex life, young & attractive Feeler women all over youz

wit dem infallible pick-up lines

 

[Brontosaurie]

yeah.

i can scarcely imagine the glory of your sex life, young & attractive Feeler women all over youz

is this a parody of my assumptions about brandywk? do you claim any relevance whatsoever? ...are you just being nice? no that seems unlikely.

please resolve the mystery

no wait i've got it. you think i tried to give the impression of not taking this stuff so seriously myself, that is: the impression of having lots of other better stuff to do. like sex. right? that's not the case at all. internet stranger bashing is a deeply sick lonely behavior and i confess.

wit dem infallible pick-up lines

aha

sex and the city marathon going on it teaches you a lot about being irresistibly charming yes. very.

 

[brandywk]

I've read all the S type description and they are just NOT me. Now the only question I've asked here is F or I !!!! And yes I am learning the craft of writing. I am very imaginative yet still need to learn how to write so that I get my point across better.

In my opinion using the term "arrogance" is not just being descriptive, it and opinion.

ar·ro·gance noun \ˈer-ə-gən(t)s, ˈa-rə-\
: an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people

Was I saying that I was better than anyone else.. NO! No I just rock at bedtimes, in more ways than one! Pride yes, arrogance no.

As for pre-chewed up typology.. yes I've been reading a lot of Myer Brisgs and those words were what came to mind.. sheeesh!

 

[Brontosaurie]

while i'm inclined to maintain all my points, i'm also impressed by your unexpectedly level-headed approach to this "situation"

so here is a type-neutral compliment from an arrogant jerkass who imagines his value judgments to be ever pertinent

maybe you're an INFJ. appearances deceive, and especially if one has a hard time getting a point across, as you say you do.

 

[Cherry Cola]

"I am very imaginative, I am and don't you tell me I'm not!!!"

Ugh. Bronto is right. This is weak Ni. ESFP or ISFP. And what do you mean not being able to write? Unless you struggle with the English language what exactly is it that your lack of writing skill is preventing you from conveying? INFJs are supposed to be good at expressing themselves in text y know.

"all I asked for is F or I"

Right so were just supposed to ignore all the signs that you're not the type you claim to be and serve you falsehood because that's what makes you feel good? If you were an N-type I would think you might understand things don't work that way on a goddamn INTP forum.

 

[Black Rose]

Type is hard to pin down, I think its like developing theory of mind to such an extent that you can see the subtle differences in people. If you are just starting out like i was and still am you realize you have not developed the skill at differentiating between people at the level of a psychoanalyst. It may seem harsh to be accepting you don't know people to the extent of a label system allows but over time you develope a new understanding of people through observation and interaction so you can build your internal map of the psychic landscape. This may be difficult because we don't have proper reference frames to go by and our subjective interpretation of descriptions play a big part. I don't interact much with people to know that much but within my limited scope I can find clues. Holding an entire model in your mind is usually an NT thing but if i can feel what a person is like i can compare them. Type can come to know the system by their position in the social network.

Spoiler

 

[brandywk]

Actually I do struggle with language (especially grammar and spelling). I can write well, I just ALWAYS need my perfectionist, attune to details ESFJ husband to edit my writing. In fact, not to be "arrogant", but I am being published! Again, not to toot my own horn, but most of what I write receives a lot of praise.
Everything I've read on INFJ seems to fit, although a traits of ENFJ fits as well.

I have never been close to an INTP, but if this is how blunt and rude they are.. I don't see how an INFJ would fall for one. GL!

 

[Cherry Cola]

Yeah you are not an INFJ lol. If you want to decide between INFJ and ENFJ pick the latter as it fits your shallowness a little better.

People who think they are N-types despite being completely unable to explain anything of complexity in abstract terms are very tiring.

If you're so great a writer and we've got you all wrong why don't you show us something you've written then? After all it was praiseworthy and your ISFJ turned ESFJ husband has looked over it so it should be up to scratch no? Just an excerpt or a novella? If all that intuition is there but you just can't get it across y know?

I'm an INFJ btw.

 

[Black Rose]

I have never been close to an INTP, but if this is how blunt and rude they are.. I don't see how an INFJ would fall for one. GL!

this is not true, this is more j than p not a specific type. the people you are referencing are not even intp. j's are aware of their bluntness p's unaware. it only seem rude because you were not expecting honesty, they are just being too honest.

 

[StevenM]

My guess is ENFJ.

Your pretty smart and mature too

I agree with what JennyWocky says. Also, INFJ's are slightly more 'colder' people than the warm ENFJ. Plus you do seem to have quite a flair and skill with managing feelings, kinda pointing into being an feeling-dominant.

Of course, you would know better of your own type, than some random internet strangers who can only assume on a couple of posts.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Why?

 

[brandywk]

One more thing on the personality that God gave me. A good friend of mine INTJ (who had studied Myer Briggs for over a year) typed me as INFJ by reading one of my blogs before he even got to know me. After getting to know me, he could not believe how similar I was to his best friend who was also INFJ.

Yes, I can provide one of my writings.. let me go find one. And smoke a joint, my Ni feels this thread is about to get fun!

 

[Brontosaurie]

In fact, not to be "arrogant", but I am being published! Again, not to toot my own horn, but most of what I write receives a lot of praise.

"not to write what i'm about to write, but [what i was about to write]"

 

[brandywk]

Ok I'm not going to give you a piece that I've written that shows my artistic flare and feelings.. you'll just rip me to shreds And that would really hurt my Fe.
But here is my blog that is being published in an Select Mutism magazine.

www.teachhertofly.wordpress.com

Yes, I agree that I should know my own type better than random stangers. But I'm having fun w/ my alone time

 

[Cherry Cola]

Our life experiences make us who we are. Only our Father knows what’s truly in our hearts. God is the only one who knows the path that will bring us peace, if that is in fact His will. Heaven is our only promised peace.
I now understand why it is so difficult for all of us to come together on philosophies. Why people are divided in our world, our country, our communities and even our faiths.
However, I am now more at peace knowing God is in control of my life.
I’ve learned to continue seeking advice and comfort when I feel lost. I now stop and review what I know in my heart to be true. I use external advice and comfort only if it aligns to the teachings of the Bible.

Such independent Ni!!!

That sarcasm aside I do think your writing is good. But I'm not seeing any signs of intuition.

 

[Brontosaurie]

"in fact can when at home."

groovy sentence!

 

[StevenM]

Why?

Well assuming she was conflicted between ENFJ or INFJ.

After reading her 'outburst', and how she 'outbursted' and the reason for the outburst, it all seemed to point to a dominant Fe, inferior Ti.

I don't know, it's hard to explain when it comes intuitively.

S/N is somewhat always tricky for me. Especially when I haven't gotten to know someone that well. So, basically I'm just debating SJ over NF.

I know ENFJ's proport to being very creative, and love teaching kids warmly with all their heart. Her 'bedtime story' thing kinda brought to mind what my ENFJ friend excels in.

I also notice with ENFJ's that a person hardly gets a chance to see their Ni. They mostly save it for their dreadful alone times. The info that they had gathered in their alone times gets filtered through a whole bunch of Fe, which is what a person mostly sees.

Obviously, I'll admit that I'm really not all that sure. Since my last post, there seems to be a plot twist.

 

[StevenM]

Another point:

EJ's like to "act first", then review what they have done later.
IJ's review carefully before commiting to an action.

The way she debated on this thread seems to point more towards an EJ.



Very well written story by the way.

 

[Absurdity]

Our life experiences make us who we are. Only our Father knows what’s truly in our hearts. God is the only one who knows the path that will bring us peace, if that is in fact His will. Heaven is our only promised peace.
I now understand why it is so difficult for all of us to come together on philosophies. Why people are divided in our world, our country, our communities and even our faiths.
However, I am now more at peace knowing God is in control of my life.
I’ve learned to continue seeking advice and comfort when I feel lost. I now stop and review what I know in my heart to be true. I use external advice and comfort only if it aligns to the teachings of the Bible.

Such independent Ni!!!

That sarcasm aside I do think your writing is good. But I'm not seeing any signs of intuition.

Agreed. The excerpt from her blog is a good example of how sensors speak of their faith and of philosophical issues. I hear it in my family and at church all the time. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just different that what I find aesthetically pleasing. Very down to earth and outwardly expressive. Here is how an Ni-dominant speaks about faith:

"All the natural movements of the soul are controlled by laws analogous to those of physical gravity. Grace is the only exception. Grace fills empty spaces, but it can only enter where there is a void to receive it, and it is grace itself which makes this void. The imagination is continually at work filling up all the fissures through which grace might pass." - Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

Ethereal, abstract, rich with analogy. Simply different ways of perceiving and expressing the same thing.

 

[brandywk]

Agreed. The excerpt from her blog is a good example of how sensors speak of their faith and of philosophical issues. I hear it in my family and at church all the time. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just different that what I find aesthetically pleasing. Very down to earth and outwardly expressive. Here is how an Ni-dominant speaks about faith:

"All the natural movements of the soul are controlled by laws analogous to those of physical gravity. Grace is the only exception. Grace fills empty spaces, but it can only enter where there is a void to receive it, and it is grace itself which makes this void. The imagination is continually at work filling up all the fissures through which grace might pass." - Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

Ethereal, abstract, rich with analogy. Simply different ways of perceiving and expressing the same thing.

Hmm interesting. I'll have to put more thought into this. Maybe I should give you a piece about how I went to hell and the devil toyed with me.

 

[StevenM]

Agreed. The excerpt from her blog is a good example of how sensors speak of their faith and of philosophical issues. I hear it in my family and at church all the time. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just different that what I find aesthetically pleasing. Very down to earth and outwardly expressive. Here is how an Ni-dominant speaks about faith:

"All the natural movements of the soul are controlled by laws analogous to those of physical gravity. Grace is the only exception. Grace fills empty spaces, but it can only enter where there is a void to receive it, and it is grace itself which makes this void. The imagination is continually at work filling up all the fissures through which grace might pass." - Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

Ethereal, abstract, rich with analogy. Simply different ways of perceiving and expressing the same thing.

N is quite different for those with an inferior Ti.

 

[StevenM]

Actually I stand down.

I very well could be wrong about the N.

Kinda embarassed that I didn't catch what you guys were seeing.

Leaning more towards ESFJ now.

 

[brandywk]

N is quite different for those with an inferior Ti.

Also keep in mind smarty pants, that on my SM blog I'm appealing to a certain audience who doesn't want to here someone write abstractly. they need concrete answers and direction!

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

@brandywk, you might want to read the Eyes without a face thread. http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=15923 The poster is INFJ and does a very good job of describing Ni.

@absurdity That was a very good distinction through your quote. Curious, as an INTJ, what reaction do you have after reading an ethereal, analogy-rich and abstract paragraph? Does it stimulate your own Ni, do you go straight to Te analysis or does it go to Fi and makes it's impact?

 

[brandywk]

will read soon.. dinner time!

 

[B.C.P.]

"Sigh... so much for finding a place to belong. I've always felt out of place and have yet to find my niche." Extroversion - introverts feel most comfortable with themselves, which as isolated entities have no need for a "niche"

"I enjoy going to church and small family parties" - comfort with communal belonging and closeness to family (introverted sensing, possible extroversion)

"Why?" - lack of ideation/looking for factual statements (S)

"Our life experiences make us who we are. Only our Father knows what’s truly in our hearts. God is the only one who knows the path that will bring us peace, if that is in fact His will. Heaven is our only promised peace.
I now understand why it is so difficult for all of us to come together on philosophies. Why people are divided in our world, our country, our communities and even our faiths.
However, I am now more at peace knowing God is in control of my life.
I’ve learned to continue seeking advice and comfort when I feel lost. I now stop and review what I know in my heart to be true. I use external advice and comfort only if it aligns to the teachings of the Bible" (screams Si)

"My Enneagram is 2w1" - could apply to ESFJ/ISFJ just as easily as ENFJ/INFJ

"Wow, you guys are mean! So much for being nice to the newbie " - Sensitive to criticism and expresses disagreement immediately without seeking further detail (F, possibly E, not P)
Firm, declarative statements (J)

"Now the only question I've asked here is F or I !!!!" - desire to control the flow of conversation (Je [EJ], extroversion)

"I have never been close to an INTP, but if this is how blunt and rude they are.. I don't see how an INFJ would fall for one" - lack of knowledge on Typology, going off of visible facts (S), lack of ideational insight (no N).

Just my opinions. Reading My True Type by A.J. Drenth may help you understand the system a bit better, since you obviously want to understand yourself better through its lens. I agree with the others that I don't see a lot of abstract verbiage, as Absurdity noted.

Could there be something here about the son who acts like an ENTJ? Aversion to strong Te is signs of Ti, which again any EFJ has. I think what we're really tackling here is the N/S dichotomy. You're obviously EFJ.

 

[Black Rose]

@brandywk, you might want to read the Eyes without a face thread. http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=15923 The poster is INFJ and does a very good job of describing Ni.

i am not even at that level of Ni
now im back to thinking im ENFJ again

edit: for reference

Animekitty's Philosophic Compositions