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Speaking with a therapist need be no more stressful than speaking in this forum. We are empathetic but nonjudging and somewhat detached by nature; therapists are empathetic and nonjudging and detached by professional training. It won't be as you fear, it will be OK. "The person we think we...

It may also have something to do with being unable to give proper weight to the emotional lens through which others view us. Not being easily able to "read" the emotions of others means you can't quite understand their perception of you, does it not? I'm apparently oblivious to emotional...

All of the above? Stay with your relatives, but perhaps have a conversation the first day formally informing them that while you respect them, your personality requires some "alone time." If you tell them you are deficient in social skills and social graces and know they aren't, and would like...

"When everything goes horribly, horribly wrong." ^ What Yellow said, plus this: When you don't get the result you expected from your thinking and assumptions and it comes as a complete surprise. Time to sit down in your tracks and find out where you went off the rails.

The older threads are good, but sometimes people just need to talk it out. Here's a thought: Who says you're potential is wasted? You or the expectations of other people? I kind of just went through this at the other end of life. I retired, that is, I'm not longer required to work to...

On the other hand my wife and I finally got to go on a "honeymoon" vacation after 20 years of marriage, and when we did, we took my exwife along for several days simply because we were in the state where she now lives. I get along fine with her, simply because we did not separate with ill will...

I was astonished when someone told me they thought I suffered from low self esteem. Apparently I've been too successful masking my scorn for most of humanity behind a façade of modesty and self-abasement. I am usually quite chuffed about myself, merely trying to hide it. :) The original...

Yes, many people are, to our view, superficial. Nevertheless that's often all you've got to work with, so: Next.

intps may have a talent for the venerable card game Hearts. It kept me in beer money in college. Your mileage may vary. :

Turn it around and it makes more sense: most people are genetically hardwired by evolution to be favorably predisposed toward working in small, comfortable groups. Then there's us. Whether we are oddities or evolutionary failsafes, groups and belonging are not so important, once past junior...

Rules for INTPs forced out of their comfort zones: 1. Do not drink alone. 2. Do not do drugs alone. 3. Do not punch out the windows in phone booths. (OK, such things may not exist any more. See #4) 4. Do not punch out the windows in your dormitory. 4a. I was going to say don't go into a...

I'm guessing there's no one in your high school who was also in your elementary school. That's difficult, you are thrust among strangers. Sometimes what INTPs think is friendship is merely familiarity - you've been around someone for so many years you know all about them and, in a...

"By notifying them of your resultant feelings due to the current situation you give them an opportunity to fix the situation and come out being a more responsible and observant individual to yours and your mothers feelings" ... ... and if that doesn't work you can always tell them to...

I think "background artist" was used by a lot of folks in a self-mocking way, actually. :)

Dark Matters, I will give you another, that I came across during a movie shoot long ago: "Background artist." Yeah, you're a $75 a day movie extra. Sometimes pretentiousness can be adapted to be funny. We had full-sized cardboard cutouts of humans at that shoot, they'd be put in the...

Well, I fancy ladies, anyway.:)

The classic is "Dead Man's Curve" by Jan and Dean, 1964. Two years later Jan Berry wrecked his Corvette not far from the curve. He had a lot of brain damage, but eventually -- after years -- he beat the lyrics ("Won't come back from Dead Man's Curve") and recovered enough to perform, despite...

I don't like the made-up word "bromance." It is too coy, cunning, cute and twee. Makes me writhe and want to smack someone. I have a professional distaste for the abuse of nouns. "We are restauranting this weekend." OK, fuck you. "Foody" makes me spit. "All the foodies agree this...

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Too many paradoxes, like the one I just heard somewhere yesterday: "I can grasp the concept of a god, but I can't grasp the concept of a god who needs to take attendance."

"I never understood why TV couldn't take a great book, either classic or a book with high reviews (like say, The Handmaids Tale or Call of the Wild, The Women in White, Heart of Darkness) and have screenwriters re-work it and do a series." Because understanding a great book takes a great...

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155506197200082&set=a.184763320081.243450.803085081&type=1&theater Retirement product. I'm not going to tackle chairs, but tables, "I got this."

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It's true pomp and circumstance mean little to many INTPs. However, if you find yourself in a leadership position, it's probably wise to remember that pomp and circumstance as recognition for good work mean very much indeed to most people. It's probably better to treat people the way they...

Glad to see a new face.

Welcome aboard. Generally you should feel safe posting any damn thing you want. This is the place where most of us figure you've already gotten enough grief for being yourself.

"Otherwise, finding a really nice rock to hide under seems like a good choice these days." That's not sarcasm, Doctorin, that's a growth opportunity. Whether for doomsdayers or people who want to bury themselves in their own Walden Pond, manufacturing seclusion is a business opportunity. It...

Here ya go: The Ludlam Legacy: William J Watson, Christopher Barry: 9780977489275: Amazon.com: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51IG8TC215L.@@AMEPARAM@@51IG8TC215L Amazon.com: Brother William's War eBook: Wm. J. Watson...

I suddenly had a numb pinky finger and ring finger on my left hand. Turned out to be a pinched nerve in my elbow. The nerve was pinched because it got pulled out of where it belonged by some contortion of my elbow doing normal things like p icking up garbage cans and stacking firewood over many...

Remain flexible. Whatever you decide, odds are the job will become obsolete within 20 years and you'll need to learn new survival skills. Ever consider starting up your own business? I don't think your "answer" is so much "what" as it is "where." If I was just out of high school or college...

When I was in school, "You're smart" from some fellow students usually meant they were going to ding me on the playground first chance they got. Not a problem, unless it was one of the 15-year-olds repeating eighth grade for the third time. Then it hurt.

Welcome, UM.

Writer. Retired journalist. Plenty of arts folks, a couple of forum members bring in their artistry from time to time. But there's military folks, a couple of authoritarians, quite a few contrarians, and computer nerds too plentiful to count. I include "gamers" as artists, too, I guess.

Welcome, Zepol. I'm not sure the memory part has anything to do with personality type. It really hasn't come up as a topic that I can remember. Oh, I see what I did there, but I meant it straight, not as a joke. My memory has always been excellent and it's my impression most INTPs...

Neckbeard simply violated the Universal Law of Good Manners: Never make the other person feel at a disadvantage. It lubricates the machinery of interaction. I got the feeling he deliberately went out of his way to disingenuously try to put the new member at a disadvantage. Why do people do...

"I think the expression is more designed to mean "are you satisfied with your life and accomplishments thus far?" Like a personal inventory." ^This. Please keep this in mind: A great many of us have been told since age 10 or so that we have "potential" or that "you are not living up...

Sometimes it helps to recast the problem. I'm struggling to convey what I mean, but it's sometimes helpful to look at the problem from someone else's perspective. Another way to get out of a mental rut with a problem is to ask yourself questions: What will happen if I don't solve this? What...

"This all sounds good to me. Thanks. Care to talk about your life story?" I do, occasionally, in this forum, when it involves sharing insights with INTPs who might be able to avoid a few of the potholes I bounced through. Generally, though, just imagine you don't know you're an INTP or that...

Well: Most relationships involving romance have phases. Infatuation, what old novels used to call "smitten," doesn't last more than 18 months, if I'm remembering what I've read correctly. There's research on this somewhere, you might want to probe that aspect of it - the phases of a love...

Footnote to history (Jeez I am so old): The teen troubadours like Ricky Nelson were the only thing many of us had for social advice and for transmitting the norms of social conduct when I was a kid. Be glad there's an INTP forum. :)

Very understandable, we like to know as much as possible before acting. Don't let a compulsion for research lead you to wait so long the question becomes moot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyU2pGWA6Jc An alternative paradigm. :D

Don't overanalyze. Don't rely just on mbti for a relationship. Lots of people create deep bonds when myers briggs says they are usually sources of friction for each other. Read up on pheromones. It will help you figure out what's going on if you find yourself inexplicably attracted to...

Interesting question. If left to your own devices, with a modest income, no responsibilities, no burdens, no obligations requiring you to work to earn more money: Would you be able to muster the initiative to do anything at all? Or would you just vegetate in front of a computer keeping your...

Welcome aboard, X. House, that little video was great.

Enthusiasm waxes and wanes, but for me enthusiasm wanes after achieving competence in a new pursuit or activity. Or, of course, after finding I am never going to achieve competency in something, or I lose competency in something due to circumstances like getting an artificial knee (finally, I...

What Yellow said seems plausible to me, something about evening out the micro environment so more of the corn pops closer together in time, meaning none of it overcooks into hardness/toughness/burntness/sogginess while the "slow" kernels are pending. Have you timed the duration of the...

How did we get from INTPs as leaders (or not) to the origins of the iron cross and its implications in modern culture?

"Hippie" might be an impractical word to use to define anything, since the image conjured up depends very heavily upon each person's understanding of what the word means - everything from simply "someone looking for a socially redeeming excuse for laziness and drug use" to "counterculture...

Just a sort of aside: We're all looking at this as though the INTP can't help people because of the INTPness. Sometimes, quite a bit maybe, the problem is simply that the recipient of the help doesn't want it because then they would be implicitly accepting someone else's boon. It kind of...

Famous INTP leaders: I think Dwight Eisenhower hovered on the border between ENTP and INTP. I think Ulysses Grant was an INTP. In both cases, circumstances were perfect for an INTP kind of person to end up in overall control of a situation that required analysis on a conceptual basis, for an...