Your Ideal Male 'Partner'

[kantor1003]

She's far too precious and professionally lucrative at the moment. If you'd like, I could schedule some time for you tomorrow evening though.

Yes, fuck off melkor! I was here first. Tell him snafu! We've already made the arrangements and everything! I don't want some weasel to ruin everything after all this.

 

[snafupants]

Yes, fuck off melkor! I was here first. Tell him snafu! We've already made the arrangements and everything! I don't want some weasel to ruin everything after all this.

OK Mr. Kantor, I'm going to have to ask you to put that pistol down. Although Fukyo already has that evening time slot secured with Kantor, whom we are yet to receive payment from, she could have two slots open simultaneously, in a manner of speaking, if Kantor and Melkor are both amenable to that idea. Fukyo will have little issues with this set-up, the consummate pro that she is.

 

[kantor1003]

Erhm, what? Receive payment?? When did that get into the picture? And where exactly is the money going snafu?! Into your filthy pockets?!
It would not surprise me the least, in light of this new information, that she is hold prisoner in your basement at this very moment! You exploitive pig!
Two slots simultaneously, what a laugh. I know melkor doesn't mind sloppy seconds, but that wouldn't be the case at all now would it? You've probably had your way with her countless times already (and who knows how many of your friends), something that also might explain why fukyo has been so silent lately.

But just so you know... I'm still interested.

 

[snafupants]

Erhm, what? Receive payment?? When did that get into the picture? And where exactly is the money going snafu?! Into your filthy pockets?
It would not surprise me the least, in light of this new information, that she is hold prisoner in your basement at this very moment! You exploitive pig!
Two slots simultaneously, what a laugh. I know melkor doesn't mind sloppy seconds, but that wouldn't be the case at all now would it? You've probably had your way with her countless times already (and who knows how many of your friends), something that also might explain why fukyo has been so silent in this thread for the last day or two.

But just so you know... I'm still interested.

On the contrary, I found Fukyo beautiful yet psychologically ravaged in the basement of another. Those are the real exploitive pigs! The only work I would possibly allow her to do, for reasons that will eventually become quite clear, is kitchen cleaning and occasional lawn duty.

In Fukyo's case there seems to be an inverse relationship between outward voluptuousness and sexual delight, on the one hand, and intellectual capacity, on the other. She's truly built for one thing only.

Well, the truth is Fukyo doesn't entirely know how to operate a computer, so comprehending the nuances and movement of the internet and discourse and so forth is asking a little much at this time. We are, presently, working on remedial education to offset some of her more obvious deficiencies.

Yes, I can confirm at this juncture that Melkor preferred the proposed double-booking over a single appointment at a later time. In spite of the unusual nature of this request, we usually try to adhere to the client's wishes, so do you think we can make this work Mr. Kantor?

 

[kantor1003]

To be honest, I find your phlegmatic character somewhat alarming. I'll chew this over and report back at a later time.

 

[Mello]

@Fukyo

You're safe with me.

@Melkor

You're still prettier.

 

[snafupants]

To be honest, I find your phlegmatic character somewhat alarming. I'll chew this over and report back at a later time.

When you calm down, and gently place aside the straight-jacket, we can talk. OK, are you feeling all right? Breathe. Somehow I ended up poorly and goofily emulating this Dennis Cooper short story, but the whole thing was a farce. Swear.

Spoiler

Dima (real name Dimitry Marakov) was born in 1986 in the town of Nalchik, Russia. From a young age, he dreamed of working in the fashion industry as a designer. Lacking the moral and financial support of his parents, he actively sought out his parents, he actively sought contacts within the industry through the Internet. At the age of 14, he became acquainted with a successful fashion photographer in St. Petersburg who invited the boy to come live with him and work as his assistant. Dima accepted the offer and moved in with the photographer. According to friends of Dima, he became the older man’s lover for approximately the next year. He eventually grew dissatisfied with the lack of benefits he had been promised would result from the arrangement. He left the photographer to become live-in lovers with a wealthy man who provided the financial backing for a conglomerate of pornographic gay websites. It was at this point that Dimitry adopted the stage name Dima and, with the help of false documents that corrected his age to the legal 18, began a successful career modelling naked and starring in hardcore sex videos on the gay websites financed by his lover.


Between the age of 15 and 18, Dima was a highly sought-after pornographic model and performer. He saved the money he made from modeling to pay for the tuition at a leading college of fashion that he hoped to attend when he reached 18. At a certain point, Dima began supplementing his income by renting himself out as an escort within his lover’s circle of associates and acquaintances. According to friends of Dima, they including several leading figures in the entertainment industry as well as one of the most powerful men in Russia’s world of organised crime. Dima began to express concern to his friends that the organised crime figure had become obsessed with him, but he refused to accept their advice to stop seeing the man because of the large amount of money these dates were earning him. Sometime in 2005, Dima abruptly left his lover, gave up his modeling career, cut off all communication with his friends, and moved in with the organised crime figure. The last public Dima sighting was late that year when his friend Ignat Lebedev, who was also working as a male escort at the time, accompanied a client to a private sex club where he claims to have witnessed a very thin and confused-looking Dima being forcibly sodomised by a group of perhaps ten to fifteen men. Lebedev claims his client identified one of the men as the organised crime figure and dissuaded him from speaking to Dima for his own protection.

Lebedev claims he described what he’d seen to Dima’s former lover and was told Dima had been killed the previous week and that he shouldn’t speak of this again. Lebedev reported both incidents to the police, but after interviewing the lover and being told Lebedev had made the story up, they declined to investigate the matter. In 2006, Lebedev persuaded a prominent Russian gay journalist to write an article on Dima’s disappearance, but during the course of investigating the story, the writer was abducted by unknown assailants, beaten, and told he would be murdered if he wrote the story. Dima has not be seen or reliably heard from in three years, although in early 2007 another organised crime figure, Evgeny Ershova, who was awaiting trial on an unrelated murder charge, claimed that in late 2005 he witnessed a young male prostitute matching Dima’s description be pushed out of a helicopter over a remote forest in the north of Russia. Before Dima’s ex-lover died of lung cancer in late 2007, he reportedly confessed to friends that Dima was sold as a sex slave to a man in the Ukraine in late 2005 and had lived until late 2006 when he’d committed suicide.

 

[Melkor]

Hrm.

Seems Snafu is manipulative, possessive, smooth talking and a frequent and heartless extortionist.

Snafu is my ideal male partner!

(In crime)

 

[snafupants]

Hrm.

Seems Snafu is manipulative, possessive, smooth talking and a frequent and heartless extortionist.

Snafu is my ideal male partner!

(In crime)

See, life has this extraordinarily funny way of working itself out. Luxurious and simple. Get over here you sexy beast! Life planned out: fuzzy thought bubble...

Spoiler

In crime...what? You durn reprobate rascal. The pains and sentient pangs of unrequited love!

 

[Melkor]

Well... Sodomy is still a crime in Texas... I think?

^___^"

And we could do a bank heist on our honeymoon?

 

[snafupants]

Well... Sodomy is still a crime in Texas... I think?

^___^"

And we could do a bank heist on our honeymoon?

Reading is a crime in Texas: look that up. So you're down for robbing a bank, a highly frowned upon activity, legally and regionally and morally, but suddenly feel scruples about consummating our love? Too backwards! OK, buy the ski masks and tape.

 

[Melkor]

Reading is a crime in Texas: look that up. So you're down for robbing a bank, a highly frowned upon activity, legally and regionally and morally, but suddenly feel scruples about consummating our love? Too backwards! OK, buy the ski masks and tape.

I...I just don't trust you with my body yet! ;_;
I'm not a piece of meat you know! Actually there ain't a lotta meat on me. -__-

*Gets the ski masks and tape*

Right! So what do we need for the bank job then? ;D

 

[speiss]

@Melkor

You're still prettier.

Back off.

Though I must say, if there were to be any ideal for me, Cake would most likely be the one.

He's tiny and adorable and sleepy and quiet and ever-so-full of quirky things to say.
Also, he's very fond of cuddling. A girl really can't go wrong.

edit: Then again, as for a picture of what I would truly want...

edit2: You all will probably never hear from me again.

 

[Mello]

Back off.

Though I must say, if there were to be any ideal for me, Cake would most likely be the one.

He's tiny and adorable and sleepy and quiet and ever-so-full of quirky things to say.
Also, he's very fond of cuddling. A girl really can't go wrong.

edit: Then again, as for a picture of what I would truly want...

edit2: You all will probably never hear from me again.

My puppy angel.

 

[Minuend]

Yeah, I laughed this time too. Don't think melly will forgive as easily this time

 

[Melkor]

I am going to kill you.

 

[Mello]

We could all cuddle together.

 

[snafupants]

Hrm.

Seems Snafu is manipulative, possessive, smooth talking and a frequent and heartless extortionist.

Snafu is my ideal male partner!

(In crime)

You forgot the dashing good looks, pristine intellect, ample manhood and the ability to simultaneously frighten, awe and charm. Whoops, I just received your private message: looks like you included those details and then some. Later love.

 

[Melkor]

You forgot the dashing good looks, pristine intellect, ample manhood and the ability to simultaneously frighten, awe and charm. Whoops, I just received your private message: looks like you included those details and then some. Later love.

Oh I love it when you decide my past actions and present thoughts completely without my consent in the same breath. <3

 

[snafupants]

Oh I love it when you decide my past actions and present thoughts completely without my consent in the same breath. <3

Exactly, some people are so in tune that they appear telepathic. We really have something special going. Life and love.

 

[Fukyo]

@snafupants You're fired.

 

[Melkor]

May I be your new PR?

I have cute eyes.

 

[Fukyo]

If you change your user title to "puppy angel" for at least a week.

 

[snafupants]

If you change your user title to "puppy angel" for at least a week.

As an aborted pimp and continuing chum of The Fukinator I'll go along with this.

 

[BigApplePi]

Describe your ideal male partner. What attracts you in the areas of appearance, attitude, gender role (& extent), & any other identifiable 'vibes' etc.?

Also post pictures that represent the type of appearance you like. I'm interested in whether the INTP preferences are unique or interesting.

Not necessarily asking what type of man you'd like to marry, but if you are seeking a boyfriend, casual mate, or sexual partner...

If you don't want to post this you may simply comment on others you (dis)agree with, or both.

I couldn't think of an ideal male partner. (Does narcissism count?)

I do believe I'll switch to a female partner. That would be ideal. Are fantasies allowed and what if they go wrong?


Here's one of mystery with a puzzling smile:



Maybe for Cake:

I'd avoid this one.


What about her?



She wants me

 

[Mello]

There's an ideal female partner thread...

 

[snafupants]

I couldn't think of an ideal male partner. (Does narcissism count?)

I do believe I'll switch to a female partner. That would be ideal. Are fantasies allowed and what if they go wrong?


Here's one of mystery with a puzzling smile:



Maybe for Cake:











I'd avoid this one.


What about her?



She wants me

I would be shocked if that busty blonde could add double digits in her head.

 

[BigApplePi]

I would be shocked if that busty blonde could add double digits in her head.

Have no fear; you need not dread.
She'll warm you when you bring her to your bed
Leaving those coupled digits you to add instead

 

[BigApplePi]

There's an ideal female partner thread...

Oh I did not know.

 

[snafupants]

Have no fear; you need not dread.
She'll warm you when you bring her to your bed
Leaving those coupled digits you to add instead

She has a look that conveys sexual shenanigans and eye-moistening moves.

 

[kora]

NOT homophobic ideally slightly bi-sexual in fact hahaha not macho in any shape or form, doesn't have to be good looking but need heaps of charisma, intelligent, open minded, independant thinker, the type of guy who would like to lie in bed for days, smoking weed having sex and chatting about stuff

 

[kora]

I would be shocked if that busty blonde could add double digits in her head.

lsize of breasts + blond hair = inability to do maths?

 

[BigApplePi]

NOT homophobic ideally slightly bi-sexual in fact hahaha not macho in any shape or form, doesn't have to be good looking but need heaps of charisma, intelligent, open minded, independant thinker, the type of guy who would like to lie in bed for days, smoking weed having sex and chatting about stuff

I thought for a moment I had your guy, but he has a girlfriend. Is that okay?

 

[kora]

I thought for a moment I had your guy, but he has a girlfriend. Is that okay?

hmmmm..temptation ... but one must keep one's morality unfortunately anyway NY's a bit far

 

[kora]

wha am i saying? screw morality! I'm coming to New York!!

 

[scorpiomover]

NOT homophobic ideally slightly bi-sexual in fact hahaha not macho in any shape or form, doesn't have to be good looking but need heaps of charisma, intelligent, open minded, independant thinker, the type of guy who would like to lie in bed for days, smoking weed having sex and chatting about stuff

You've just described my life.

 

[Meer]

You've just described my life.

Except the charisma. I am saying that I don't have charisma.

There was this guy who was kind of feminine looking. Enough for my largely heterosexual brain to do weird things. It was also a strange time in general... I think he got creeped out by me and started avoiding me, which was sad because it could have been a good platonic friendship.

Sometimes, I look at the boxes of men's hair dye or whatever at the store and try to pick out which box has the best dude face on it. Often, I seem attracted to the beardy lumberjack but not totally gay-ass-macho ones.

Sunglasses with white frames are the mark of a douchebag.

 

[snafupants]

I am unquestionably any woman's ideal male partner.

 

[Meer]

teeth, also, i prefer with character. perfect straight teeth are just eh.

Do cavities count as 'character'?

 

[snafupants]

Do cavities count as 'character'?

Every hillbilly would be running to Shoeless in that case. So no.

 

[Beholder]

the type of guy who would like to lie in bed for days, smoking weed having sex and chatting about stuff

Marry me?

 

[Jennywocky]

The answer for me is:
- quick-witted / smart
- great sense of humor
- easy-going, not anal or domineering
- sees our relationship as a mutual exchange between two competent people who enjoy being together
- is a guy
- insightful/sensitive, without being a priss about it
- keeps an eye out for me without treating me like I'm fragile
- is proud and happy to be with me
- curious about the world / has some goals outside himself
- having SOME kind of talent would be cool (no matter what the area is in)

That all being said, I don't really like checklists. I actually take people on their own terms regardless of types or traits.

I am unquestionably any woman's ideal male partner.

.... but you're still wearing pants! What a snafu.

 

[xbox]

If Jon Stewart is ENTP, then I have to be INTP.

Ideal partner is anyone who looks like a scandinavian metal guitarist. Yeah baby. I'm yours. But they are nice to look at.

Realistically, I dont know. If I've ever liked anyone, I got bored pretty fast. Last guy I dated was last year in March, an ESTP. Boring. (he only talked about wrestling)

I dont know what I like. Perhaps someone intuitive, because I dont really care for S types. especially if its combined with J then gawd no. SJs are really difficult to have a normal conversation with. THeyre dead set on their opinions, their way or the highway, its black and white with no gray areas. Its annoying

I get along best with, and never really get bored with INFPs and INTPs. I think a np-np combination is cool, lots of awesome conversations.

 

[scorpiomover]

Except the charisma. I am saying that I don't have charisma.

My female friends tell me that I have it in spades. But I don't have the confident to act on it. So it comes out passively. Just when I'm talking to a gorgeous woman, who I think could never be seriously interested in me, she hits on me, big time. But I'm in way too much shock to accept it, until months later. A bit late, then.

There was this guy who was kind of feminine looking. Enough for my largely heterosexual brain to do weird things. It was also a strange time in general... I think he got creeped out by me and started avoiding me, which was sad because it could have been a good platonic friendship.

Sometimes, I look at the boxes of men's hair dye or whatever at the store and try to pick out which box has the best dude face on it. Often, I seem attracted to the beardy lumberjack but not totally gay-ass-macho ones.

Nah. I get hit on a lot by bi men and gay men. I've considered it many times. But I think I prefer women, and it suits my overall lifestyle much better. Its not a strong enough desire in me, for me to destroy my Fe harmony with others over.

Sunglasses with white frames are the mark of a douchebag.

Do they exist?

 

[scorpiomover]

The answer for me is:
- quick-witted / smart
- great sense of humor
- easy-going, not anal or domineering
- sees our relationship as a mutual exchange between two competent people who enjoy being together
- is a guy
- insightful/sensitive, without being a priss about it
- keeps an eye out for me without treating me like I'm fragile
- is proud and happy to be with me
- curious about the world / has some goals outside himself
- having SOME kind of talent would be cool (no matter what the area is in)

That all being said, I don't really like checklists. I actually take people on their own terms regardless of types or traits.

Sounds like heaven.

Damn my lack of self-confidence.

 

[speiss]

I have four criteria that are absolutely, 100% necessary.
*Asian.
*Small.
*Californian.
*Named Carlos.

 

[Lydia]

Gender nowadays is always prone to discrimination and leaves so little space for those to explore on their ideal type in the opposite gender. So I believe at times it is hard for me as an individual and other few individuals to express this in the opposite kind. As it is mostly miscontrued into the social norms of what is usually common and seems forcibly adaptable. That being said, idealistically majority of people are fake and fantasical to get a feel from the sex appeal.

However, moving on from the perspective...

I would say this male will have self-respect for his own individuality and is dignifying as to whatever he gives and takes from the world around him. With this trait, his attitude will be one of a kind, something of which he can define his ownself. Not living by the worlds expectations and everyday insecurity. Thus by him using this attitude with me will make me genuinely content to be witnessing a guy who talks from a highly respectable and self-righteous nature. Obviously he will have intellects, that is no more than what was said though.

As for appearance etc , you could paint a picture of him in your heads. By this general aspect, I am sure the imagery of such description will be rather delightful and stunning than common.

 

[kora]

You've just described my life.

Oh. Why helloooo theeerrre * gives scorpiomover the one-over*

 

[scorpiomover]

Oh. Why helloooo theeerrre * gives scorpiomover the one-over*

Strangely, not as uncomfortable as when that happens IRL. At least, I don't have an overwhelming compulsion to run.

 

[kora]

Strangely, not as uncomfortable as when that happens IRL. At least, I don't have an overwhelming compulsion to run.

good old internet providing computers for people to hide behind, so we can simulate being extroverts