Would you rather be a lumberjack or a butcher and why?

[MrBean13]

Title says it all

 

[redbaron]

Lumberjack because axes.

 

[MrBean13]

Butchers use axes too in some third world countries

 

[Grayman]

I want to be the butcher in diablo so that I can rule the dead on level 2. I am not so vain as to pick a higher level but I don't want to be too easy.

 

[MrBean13]

I want to be the butcher in diablo so that I can rule the dead on level 2. I am not so vain as to pick a higher level but I don't want to be too easy.

That's my boy. All that gruesome work will build character. Too bad I've never played Diablo that ish was in the 90s when I was born yo

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I'd rather be a butcher. It's something I can take my time with if needed and I could work my own hours too with a big enough freezer. I could also set up a small cottage business with the leftover parts nobody else wants, and maybe even branch out into taxidermy. The regulations (U.S.) can be surprisingly lax, depending on what you're chopping up and in what quantity.

Not to mention the dietary benefits of having access to the freshest of meat, yo.

 

[Pyropyro]

Butcher because at least I can practice what I learned from my Bio classes. Dissecting stuff is awesome.

 

[Hadoblado]

Lumberjack with an axe or a chainsaw? I'd enjoy lumberjacking with a chainsaw, experiencing the wilderness as you gently choke the life out of it. Using a chainsaw would be more efficient, but if I'm payed by the hour then axe would be way more rewarding personally.

Axe>cleaver>chainsaw

 

[Neckbeard]

Butcher is easier work, and butcheries are air-conditioned too. I'd be a butcher.

Don't care how much money I get, as long as I have an easy job and can survive on however much it pays.

 

[Minuend]

I would be lumberjacking. Because forests. Motherfucking trees and silence being one with nature yiss.

ALSO HIDE YO DAUGHTERS

 

[Cognisant]

Lumberjack, the problem with being a butcher is that you're working in the same heavily air conditioned room with no windows, every day, whereas a lumberjack gets to travel around and take his breaks in the forest. So as much as I love the smell of raw meat (you have no idea) I want the butchery to remain that special place I only go to sometimes and fucking up forests with heavy machinery appeals to me on a philosophical level.

Now if I could butcher things in the forest that would be ideal.

 

[Fukyo]

I would be lumberjacking. Because forests. Motherfucking trees and silence being one with nature yiss.

ALSO HIDE YO DAUGHTERS

 

[Happy]

Can't eat trees.

 

[Architect]

I can see nobody on this thread has been a lumberjack. I've spent too much time chopping down trees, not professionally as a lumberjack but it makes no matter. It's hard, sweating, boring nasty work.

The butcher gets to ogle the girls and stay indoors when it rains. Like there's a choice, are you kidding me?

 

[Cognisant]

Can't eat trees.

Actually I think you can, wood should have starch in it and you can likely cook out whatever toxins there are (if indeed there are any) of course wood pulp porridge is probably as appetizing as it sounds and you'll have to eat a lot of it to meet your daily calorie intake.

 

[Minuend]

I cut down trees with a chainsaw back when I was a teenager. Before I started being chronically fatigued, I enjoyed hard work. It feels good using the muscles in your body and feel tired from working. For those of us who are lazy fuckers, it's good to have forced exercise in the work time.

During the winter your feet could get uncomfortably cold, though. And the cleaning and sharpening of chainsaws is somewhat of an bore.

 

[MrBean13]

Lumberjack with an axe or a chainsaw? I'd enjoy lumberjacking with a chainsaw, experiencing the wilderness as you gently choke the life out of it. Using a chainsaw would be more efficient, but if I'm payed by the hour then axe would be way more rewarding personally.

Axe>cleaver>chainsaw

That answer was music to my ears, dude. Also if you were using a chainsaw and had some noise cancelling headphones, what type of music would you listen to (no heavy metal, etc.) I guess anyone can answer that, because all of our personalities are different so we have different tastes in good music for that situation. For me, if I had to listen to something, the sounds of nature MP3 series would be fine, same sounds as without music but minus the chainsaw. That or some classical music.

 

[XUD9]

I'd pick being a butcher. I've worked as a lumberjack in the past and a firewood splitter. It's pretty dangerous and hard going. Have you ever used 10 ton wood splitter at 8 a.m with a hangover and still drunk and very high from the night before ? I have lol and I still wonder how I have all my digits left.

 

[Rook]

Well sure, a butcher gets to cut up the corpses of animals with an assortment of grisly tools, processing them into lumps of meat sold to good matured middle class folk like you and me.

I'm going with lumberjack though.
Late at night, in my log cabin deep within a misty forest, I hear a sound outside.
I grab my axe, intersect this trespasser upon my hallowed tree-murdering grounds and with one swift chop decapitate it.

Was it a deer? Was it a cop? Was it a lost motorist looking for aid?
Who cares, it's dead, and my days of solitude can commence once again with a hearty roast beneath the stars, while I perform a deep-bellied laugh from within my tangled beard.

 

[Jennywocky]

If you view people as trees, you can be both.

PS. Axes and chainsaws sweeten the deal.

 

[redbaron]

I can see nobody on this thread has been a lumberjack. I've spent too much time chopping down trees, not professionally as a lumberjack but it makes no matter. It's hard, sweating, boring nasty work.

The butcher gets to ogle the girls and stay indoors when it rains. Like there's a choice, are you kidding me?

Bitchest answer yet. Soft.

*winky face*

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Lumberjack.

Being a butcher is so dehumanising.
*insert a funny comment here*

 

[Latte]

Well, cleavers can't bisect steel beams so I'm going to have to go with lumber even though I hardly know her.

 

[Rook]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa26_esLBE

Case closed.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Probably a butcher. There's a lot of skill that goes into parting meat. I have loads of fun trying to get the most out of meat out of a chicken.

 

[Yellow]

It depends on the culture I'm living in, the type of butchery, the equipment available, and the state of the local forests, I suppose.

I mean, in some places, a butcher is one rung up the totem pole from the animal he/she is butchering. Also, I'm not strong enough to do the work in the first steps of the butchering process for the larger animals (yes, there are machines, but you have to be strong enough to shove huge hooks into the animals and use the pulleys to haul them up). But say an end-step butcher in a upscale grocery store or deli? That would be a great learning experience and an easy job.

Similarly, if I'm a modern lumberjack, that generally means lugging heavy machinery and dealing with loud noises all day as I take part in overt or disguised clear-cutting. I think I'd last maybe a half hour. Now, sitting in an air-conditions cab of the large work vehicles could be comfortable, but still, there's the forest leveling. If you're talking about old-timey lumberjacks, then that's different. You'd have to spend hours and hours each day hacking away at trees to collect enough timber to make ends meet. Then, you have to be strong enough to do whatever needs to be done with the timber to get it to where it's going. It's not like I can spend two hours swinging an axe (my arms would give out sooner, for sure) and then hang out in my cabin for the rest of the day with a corn-pipe and a big blue ox.

So.. if I could work somewhere modern and fancy as a consumer-end butcher, I choose butcher.

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

butcher work would make me nauseous
i don't want to cut down trees either, but if i had to choose...lumberjack.

 

[Inquisitor]

If being a butcher involves actually killing animals, especially cows, then lumberjack is the obvious choice. Better to murder trees for a living than sentient beings. Do you have any idea how smart pigs are? "With the cognitive abilities of at least three-year-olds, they can even learn to operate a modified computer." Have fun killing that everyday for the rest of your life.

Pig Tales: An Omnivore's Quest for Sustainable Meat: Barry Estabrook: 9780393240245: Amazon.com: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51XrdV9KjzL.@@AMEPARAM@@51XrdV9KjzL

If there's no killing and you're just cutting up meat into different-sized pieces while sitting behind a counter at Whole Foods, then I'd take that over lumberjack because in that case, I don't have to kill any trees. Plus I'd get a 30% discount when shopping there and the benefits will probably keep getting better even if salary doesn't.

 

[eagor]

butcher, i already have plenty of experience with taking apart previously living critters such as deer, bovine, pigs, chickens, ducks (unfortunately) and people...though that last one wasn't for food...well...i didn't eat them.

 

[Doktorin Zylinder]

I'd probably pick a butcher because I like making sausage and smoking it and various cheeses. Oh, and making my own salumi and whatnot. Wait. Terrine, pate, rillettes. Butcher it is.

 

[Brander]

I've worked as a meat clerk, I liked the actual work (left because of the company). The grisly side of me also likes blood and gore, so butcher it is.

 

[Happy]

For a year after finishing high school, I was a full time slaughterer/butcher/boner(lol)/skinner/etc. and it fucking sucked. Like royally sucked. Damn economic recession. We'd kill 1250+ head of cattle a day. It was thoroughly depressing and surprisingly hard work. But it sure as hell turns a boy into a man...

It's a weird thing to think that I've touched hundreds of thousands of dead animals. I've not really considered that until just now.

If I had to make the choice between lumberjack and butcher, I'd go for lumberjack. However, I'd probably try to take on more of a planning/management/supervisory role, making sure everything was working efficiently and finding room for improvement all the time.

Actually, I'd probably be one of the specialist lumberjacks that provide timber with specific requirements (theres people that provide these services for architects, craftsmen, etc).

 

[Architect]

It's a weird thing to think that I've touched hundreds of thousands of dead animals. I've not really considered that until just now.

If you'd said you had relations with hundreds of thousands of dead animals then I'd be impressed.

 

[Happy]

If you'd said you had relations with hundreds of thousands of dead animals then I'd be impressed.

In some contexts, the two are synonymous...