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The Random Thoughts Thread

Rixus

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I would eat, then go back to bed, lay there and not sleep while thinking for a little while, then pick up my phone and play on it for a while, then at some point the need for either tea or the toilet would get me to move, before I realise I can't put things off any longer.
 

QuickTwist

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I had an intense bout of angst last night until it subsided into depression and I could finally sleep.
 

Rixus

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Do you suffer with this a lot?
 

QuickTwist

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Do you suffer with this a lot?

Everyday I wake up and I wish I was still asleep, so yes. My depression is sometimes interrupted by bouts of hypomania. Then I realize after the hypomania that I am a moron.
 

Sinny91

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Everyday I wake up and I wish I was still asleep, so yes. My depression is sometimes interrupted by bouts of hypomania. Then I realize after the hypomania that I am a moron.

Ha! I can relate to this.
 

QuickTwist

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Rixus

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I know how hard that can be to live with - while the sudden drop can feel like the confidence was an illusion and the depression is the realisation, but it doesn't make you a moron. That feeling is the illusion.
You make it sound like the mood shifts often?
 

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JGvYcko.jpg
 

QuickTwist

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I know how hard that can be to live with - while the sudden drop can feel like the confidence was an illusion and the depression is the realisation, but it doesn't make you a moron. That feeling is the illusion.
You make it sound like the mood shifts often?

Everything is the illusion for me, I am really quite dysfunctional. I'm not really a rapid cycler if that is what you are asking since the highs are not really all that high. My mania has more to do with compulsions than anything else. The compulsions make things better - gives me something to focus on so I don't have to focus on how much my life sucks. I feel good when I am obsessing about something. I just feel like shit when I realize the obsession is pointless and i am inadequate at what i am doing.
 

Rixus

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Everything is the illusion for me, I am really quite dysfunctional. I'm not really a rapid cycler if that is what you are asking since the highs are not really all that high. My mania has more to do with compulsions than anything else. The compulsions make things better - gives me something to focus on so I don't have to focus on how much my life sucks. I feel good when I am obsessing about something. I just feel like shit when I realize the obsession is pointless and i am inadequate at what i am doing.
I was just asking how much the mood will shift. Or what causes that, of anything.
What makes you think you're quite dysfunctional? I don't really know much about you, so it's hard to comment. I don't know that I would call short obsessions dysfunctional (mainly because I'm terrible for that, too, and I get on just fine with life). Distractions from those feelings seem like a normal way of coping.
 

QuickTwist

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I was just asking how much the mood will shift. Or what causes that, of anything.
What makes you think you're quite dysfunctional? I don't really know much about you, so it's hard to comment. I don't know that I would call short obsessions dysfunctional (mainly because I'm terrible for that, too, and I get on just fine with life). Distractions from those feelings seem like a normal way of coping.

I think I am dysfunctional based on what I do/don't do throughout the day. I'm a loser with no job on SSI who browses the internet all day. Not much redemption in that, hence the depression.
 

Rixus

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I'm sure most people would feel very down in that situation. I don't have bipolar myself, but I understand it as I knew someone closely who suffered with it; and wasn't able then to overcome it then. I'm told they now have better care now that they changed their doctor, so may in future be and to. I don't believe you're useless; and I think there's always hope.
 

QuickTwist

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I'm sure most people would feel very down in that situation. I don't have bipolar myself, but I understand it as I knew someone closely who suffered with it; and wasn't able then to overcome it then. I'm told they now have better care now that they changed their doctor, so may in future be and to. I don't believe you're useless; and I think there's always hope.

Hope is an illusion for people who don't understand the reality of life or the gravity of a situation. I think hope is more delusional than me simply living with my grief. I actually had suicidal thoughts last night, which I haven't had in a long time. You seem like you are a pretty intelligent person and are not judgemental. I appreciate the sentiment, but I believe it is just kind words to make me feel better. Still, It is a kindness and I cannot take that away from you for my situation.
 

nanook

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seems to me that all grief implies hope. hope from within the fantasy of "i almost got it. if i had only tried a little harder. next time i will jump higher." at the beginning there is demand. you may think you demand fruits from life, but you must reach out for the opportunity and this is what you demand from yourself. you fail and anger occurs. "damn fruits, hanging too high. legs too fucking weak." thus your hope turns to grief and your demand turns to self hate. without demand, no drama.

sleeping can help to survive the boredom of living without ambition and allow for a more creative brain chemistry.

in northern winters, a tropical ape should not expect extraordinary heaps of creativity.

although this time of letting go can clear the head for new ideas.
 

QuickTwist

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seems to me that all grief implies hope. hope from within the fantasy of "i almost got it. if i had only tried a little harder. next time i will jump higher." at the beginning there is demand. you may think you demand fruits from life, but you must reach out for the opportunity and this is what you demand from yourself. you fail and anger occurs. "damn fruits, hanging too high. legs too fucking weak." thus your hope turns to grief and your demand turns to self hate. without demand, no drama.

sleeping can help to survive the boredom of living without ambition and allow for a more creative brain chemistry.

in northern winters, a tropical ape should not expect extraordinary heaps of creativity.

although this time of letting go can clear the head for new ideas.

Smart man, don't understand everything you said explicitly, but its on point.
 

Sinny91

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For what?
 

QuickTwist

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Bad Itch

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If I were to be granted one great wish, I don't know what I would wish for.
...the runner up would deffo be a curry. I would kill for curry-almost-anything right now.
 

Sinny91

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Grr.

I've got to wait a fucking hour for a fucking office to fucking open, cuz contrary to usual fucking practice and their fucking advertised opening times they dont open till 10am on a Wednesday

-_-

Suck ma fucking dick. I want breakfast, and now you have me here just wasting time out on the fucking streets no less.

If I had the means, I'd burn the fucking building down, roast the fucking staff and devour them for muvafuckin breakfast.
 

Rixus

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Cook and eat the staff? :confused: That'll certainly teach them for making you wait for breakfast.
 

Sinny91

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And to top it off, my hair looks ginger today!
 

Rixus

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Were I present, I would buy you a full English and maybe some hair-dye if it really bothered you (though I can't say I'd mind the ginger tint today).

(And I wish I could just say, "it's Wednesday so I don't feel like starting until 10.")
 

Sinny91

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Ahh, this guy's rant/critique has inspired me to half consider returning to legislation and compliance (Civil Service, DWP etc)

james055 wrote:
You cannot get a 100% sanction under UC. Remember, Universal credit is basically One payment with Multiple Elements i.e Jobseekers allowance, Housing benifit, Child tax credits.

I've spent some time looking at this and it does seem that you're correct that the sanction does not apply to any other element of the UC other than the main personal allowance. That doesn't mean they won't change this the further on we get with UC. After all, they are testing it out. You are right that we need concrete evidence from a UC claimant that their housing element was affected when they were sanctioned, but that's going to be tough when someone is having to shuttle between work and the joke centre under a sanction and who might not have the time or inclination to go online to ask for help.

As we are talking about UC sanctions I'd like to raise my concerns about what I see happening in the future in 2 areas (this is going to be a long post). 1. The "groups" they are going to shove people into and 2. Their obession with certain numbers (16 and 35) and how the DWP (and CAB) misleads people about those numbers.

First, the groups:

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukdsi/2013/978011...9780111531938_en.pdf
No work-related requirements: where claimants already have or exceed a specified level of earnings or are unable to meet any work-related requirements because of particular circumstances or capability;
Work-focused interviews only: for claimants who are expected to stay in touch with the labour market and begin thinking about a move into work, more work, or better paid work;
Work preparation: some claimants who have limited capability for work (defined in Section 21 of the Act) will not be expected to look for or be available for work, but will be expected to prepare for a move into work, more work, or better paid work by, for example, participating in the Work Programme, attending training courses or skills assessment; and
All work-related requirements: for claimants expected to move into work, more work or better paid work.

The above groups are confusing and people won't know if they are in the right group or not.
At the launch of Universal Credit, the intention is that the full conditionality regime will apply to groups roughly equivalent to those subject to the current Jobseeker’s Allowance conditionality regime. Therefore, it is not intended that those with earnings above a certain administrative threshold will be subject to an intensive conditionality regime. This administrative threshold is flexible to allow the Department for Work and Pensions to explore and test various options for those with higher levels of earnings (up to the conditionality earnings threshold as described in Regulation 90 of the Universal Credit Regulations 2013).

So, we have an "administrative threshold" and a "conditionality earnings threshold", the latter apparently being earnings that are the equivalent of 35 hrs per week x minimum wage divided by 12, and the former being anything over the current JSA rate but below the "admin threshold". I see this as being deliberately vague and confusing.

The problem I see for UC "clients" is this: what group is a person going to be in from month to month if their wages fluctuate? For instance, one month they earn over the JSA current rate (the administrative threshold) and one month later earn under that amount?

Well, they are clearly going to be bounced between one group and another dependent on their wages from one month to the next. This appears to be deliberate, in order to put pressure on a worker to continue earning over the administrative threshold amount so that they will remain in a group where they are not hassled as much.

The problem with this is that, in the real world, an employee has no choice about what hours their employer is going to give them from month to month, particularly when it comes to zero hours contracts, which this government has encouraged employers to use. There is also the fact that the DWP will be working one month in arrears, which presents another problem for the worker - they may be in the wrong group during a month when their earnings have increased.

I'm not sure if anyone will see what I am saying, so I will use an example:

Ted goes to work in April and at the end of the month he's paid £400. This puts Ted's earnings above the single rate of JSA (the administrative threshold amount) and Ted is treated with a "light touch" in May by the joke centre "wank coach" due to his previous month's earnings. Ted then goes to work during May and at the end of May he's paid £200. The DWP then puts him in the "give Ted some hassle group" in June because he didn't earn enough money and he is subjected to the full on "you are a scumbag" treatment at the joke centre. (They do it to part time JSA workers now who earn below JSA rate and it will be no different under UC). During this treatment Ted's hours have risen and he's working more hours, yet this is ignored because he's in the "give Ted some hassle group" until the end of the month.

Tough luck on poor Ted, but I can see this happening to a worker month after weary month, being bounced between one sort of treatment and another, while having to work at the same time.
A sanction may be reduced from 100% if a claimant’s circumstances change such that they move to the no work-related requirements conditionality group

Taking the example of Ted, when would that be caculated from bearing in mind the "month in arrears" situation I have just outlined?

I see many problems arising in this one area alone. Someone will be in the "give them some hassle" group, working more hours and earning more money but still be subjected to a sanction, all because it's "calculated" one month in arrears and the DWP live in la-la land.

Moving on to the obsession with "how many hours" someone works and how people are going to be misled when in the "hassle" or "no hassle" groups:

Even CAB are putting out the wrong information about "working hours" on their web page about UC.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/unive...mmitment-what-group/
If you would be in the ‘work preparation group’ or ‘work focused interview only group’, you’ll be expected to work 16 hours.

No, absolutely incorrect. There is no "expectation" that someone works for 16 hours, yet this arbitrary number is trotted out time after weary time by DWP employees, WP providers and other misinformed State incompetents. The correct sentence should be "you'll be expected to work the equivalent of 16 hours x the minimum wage, divided by 12, including a £5 or £10 disregard" (i.e the administrative level).
If you would be in the ‘all-work-related activity group’ you’d usually be expected to work 35 hours per week.

Wrong again. Is there anything on that page that CAB has got right? :lol:

The correct sentence should be "you'd usually be expected to work the equivalent of 35 hours x minimum wage, divided by 12, including a £5 or £10 disregard".

What is going to happen is this: UC claimants are going to be told by DWP employees, CAB and WP providers that they have to work for 16 or 35 hours a week, which is not true.

Under JSA part time workers are already sanctioned and subjected to the Work Programme etc, so UC is not new "in work conditionality" (as I point out in the comments on the newest Johnny Void posting) because they've been practicing "in work conditionality" on JSA part time workers for a very long time. It is merely being spread out to include those who are in work and claim benefits and who have escaped having to sign on. They are now going to be subjected to the same sort of swivel-eyed lunacy that my partner and I have found in our local joke centre and on the Work Programme. If the way they treat part time workers now, under JSA, is anything to go by then UC part time workers who are earning only slightly above the "administrative threshold" level (it may be as low as a fiver) are certainlly going to be faced with exactly the same sort of disrespect that I have seen inflicted on my working partner. I think it will be a bit of shock for them to learn (if they have never been subjected to it) just how dreadful the way that "lower earnings" wage slaves are treated by "higher earnings" wage slaves in JCP offices. :angry:

Oh, and it is looking highly likely that a "higher earnings" wage slave who works in our local JCP office is going to get my "lower earnings" wage slave partner sanctioned for not thinking she's Lord God Almighty. Into the breach once more... :silly:

Basically, my moms ill and I need to start making preparations to ensure her house comes to me in a worse case scenario.. which unfortunately means that I need to stop hiding from the government and put my name down on all their books.. And there's no two ways about it.

But i'm not looking forward to it, because they'll be in ALL of my business, and expect me to jump through 3,000 irrelevant hoops.

Such is the reason I don't bother with government.

I've mainly been working cash in hand this year, which equates to nothing but illegal shenanigans in their eyes.

So, now I need to rejoin the tax paying work force .... and deal with the fucking job centre in the bloody mean time - which is most definitely ungodly, incompetent, and largely run by unquestioning SJ satan spawn.

@Rick, I would kill for that breakfast! :)
 

Rixus

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Why half consider? Something that pisses you off can be a great motivator.

Yeah, they're not the best people to deal with. Do they need to know about working off the books? I just said I'd been living at home with no income for almost a year and no one really asked much about it.

Hope your Mum's OK. Know where I am if need to unload.

(And should we decide to follow advice shouted at us on another thread; I promise that afterwards you shall have an amazing breakfast. ;))
 

PmjPmj

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Sounds heavy, QT. I don't have much time (any time, ffs) to spend on a meaningful post, but - and I mean this with all due respect - your perception is quite clearly dramatically skewed because you're in an incredibly tough place right now. There's nothing delusional about hope, but I can see how a person who is hanging out of their arse with depression would arrive at that conclusion. I know all too well...

At the risk of sounding like a condescending prick, set small goals for yourself each day. It doesn't have to be anything major. Just 'something' to get you out of your own head for a while with an end result that will somehow benefit your current circumstances. Even if it's just updating a paragraph of your CV, or doing the dishes, or cleaning your minivan.

The more monotonous and lengthy the task, the better I find. It's sort of counter-intuitive on one hand, but in practice I've found that such tasks can induce flow state. That in and of itself is a healthy shift-up in cognition; it can take your mind off the pain you are experiencing. It can open you up to new thoughts, impressions, etc... or it can straight up be a case of feeling/thinking nothing for the duration, creating much needed mental space.

That's step one, anyway.

Feel free to drop me a line if you need to chat or whatever. I feel for you man - I've been there myself. It's fucking awful and nobody should have to go it alone.
 

PmjPmj

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Oh, and all this shit about finding your type? Throw it right to the back of the back-burner. The same topic drove me damn near demented when I was suffering with the depressionz. Every single thought and action was consciously scrutinised to the point of having a god awful headache for the best part of two weeks. Seriously. I was driving myself into the ground.

I'm not saying you are, but questioning type at times like this certainly can't help matters.

(FWIW, I got myself so wrong I thought I was an ENFJ - LOL).
 

Sinny91

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Haha, quote of the day, although selection was ripe and not yet over :

"You're too excited. No."
 

Rixus

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And why are you too excited?

My contender front yesterday:
Me: "Gotta go. Need to be at the church in half hour."
Work colleague looks at me for a moment. - "OK, either you're being dragged there to have an exorcism performed or it's your kids nativity play."
 

Sinny91

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.. I'm not the one who is excited ******************

I'm amused.. but not excited.

Ahh, as go the hands that we are dealt by the heavens.
 

Rixus

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My ankle is killing today. Perhaps I shouldn't have demonstrated a front flip on Sunday. But I thought as it's been months since the unfortunate time I raced a cheetah and lost the ligaments would be healed. I'm sure the bone in.
 

Rixus

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.. I'm not the one who is excited ******************

I'm amused.. but not excited.

Ahh, as go the hands that we are dealt by the heavens.
Then who is?

I am not amused. They gave me a shot of this gorgeous whiskey in Tesco and I thought it would make some excellent Christmas parents, but it's nowhere to be seen.
 

Bad Itch

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Excel can suck a dick is what. Spreadsheets weren't made for this!!!


Or were they?

Maybe that's the problem....
 

Sinny91

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Why half consider? Something that pisses you off can be a great motivator.

Yeah, they're not the best people to deal with. Do they need to know about working off the books? I just said I'd been living at home with no income for almost a year and no one really asked much about it.

Hope your Mum's OK. Know where I am if need to unload.

(And should we decide to follow advice shouted at us on another thread; I promise that afterwards you shall have an amazing breakfast. ;))

Blehh..

.. Your kindly advances have been noted, and taken under consideration... you are the first person i'll notify, should I find the time and inclination ;)

**

In other news, apparently I'm over weight.

*Cue shock & horror*

Need to add or revisit weightloss goals in my goals thread.
 

Rixus

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Excel can suck a dick is what. Spreadsheets weren't made for this!!!


Or were they?

Maybe that's the problem....
Made for what?
Tell me and receive a gigantic mammoth franken-equation in return.
 

Rixus

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Blehh..

.. Your kindly advances have been noted, and taken under consideration... you are the first person i'll notify, should I find the time and inclination ;)

**

In other news, apparently I'm over weight.

*Cue shock & horror*

Need to add or revisit weightloss goals in my goals thread.
Apparently I'm overweight too. Means little. You look fab.

(And any supportive offers are entirely separate to any offers involving breakfast.)
 

Bad Itch

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Made for what?
Tell me and receive a gigantic mammoth franken-equation in return.

1) Q: How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Wanna ride bikes?!

2) this would have been fine as a single column plain text file edited with vi with no funky decorative whatever the shit is going on in there.

3) There is no helping this, as Itch is 70% of the problem (an attitude problem)

4) year end performance review stuff. Itch does not self promote thus or well. You simply deploy Itch where Itch is perceived to be needed and then you reap or weep. Just don't ask him to remember all the things you had him do, because the shit from all those burning bags is no longer on the soles of his shoes. Itch takes shitty notes.

So thanks, but no thanks. I got this... eventually. :D
 

Rixus

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Lol I see. I always jump at the chance to sort a spreadsheet out.
Excel is my bitch - she does what I tell her to and if a spreadsheet is a complete mess full of broken references and appallingly wrong equations; I take it and the make the gods themselves marvel at its brilliance. (I wouldn't brag, though).
 

Bad Itch

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Lol I see. I always jump at the chance to sort a spreadsheet out.
Excel is my bitch - she does what I tell her to and if a spreadsheet is a complete mess full of broken references and appallingly wrong equations; I take it and the make the gods themselves marvel at its brilliance. (I wouldn't brag, though).
If I can't export to csv and do it in a few lines of unix then it's someone elses problem.

More and more often these days it becomes my problem and stays my problem.
 

Bad Itch

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Also... may I please have June back for a few months? I'm done w/ December and the real winter weather hasn't even started yet.
 

QuickTwist

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Sounds heavy, QT. I don't have much time (any time, ffs) to spend on a meaningful post, but - and I mean this with all due respect - your perception is quite clearly dramatically skewed because you're in an incredibly tough place right now. There's nothing delusional about hope, but I can see how a person who is hanging out of their arse with depression would arrive at that conclusion. I know all too well...

At the risk of sounding like a condescending prick, set small goals for yourself each day. It doesn't have to be anything major. Just 'something' to get you out of your own head for a while with an end result that will somehow benefit your current circumstances. Even if it's just updating a paragraph of your CV, or doing the dishes, or cleaning your minivan.

The more monotonous and lengthy the task, the better I find. It's sort of counter-intuitive on one hand, but in practice I've found that such tasks can induce flow state. That in and of itself is a healthy shift-up in cognition; it can take your mind off the pain you are experiencing. It can open you up to new thoughts, impressions, etc... or it can straight up be a case of feeling/thinking nothing for the duration, creating much needed mental space.

That's step one, anyway.

Feel free to drop me a line if you need to chat or whatever. I feel for you man - I've been there myself. It's fucking awful and nobody should have to go it alone.

Thanks, man. Ever since we had that conversation via PM with me that one time, I've felt you understand me a bit. I consider you a friend.
 

QuickTwist

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So, now I need to rejoin the tax paying work force .... and deal with the fucking job centre in the bloody mean time - which is most definitely ungodly, incompetent, and largely run by unquestioning SJ satan spawn.)

I'd argue EJs are the worst, but I digress.
 

QuickTwist

Spiritual "Woo"
Local time
Today 2:59 PM
Joined
Jan 24, 2013
Messages
7,182
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Location
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Grr.

I've got to wait a fucking hour for a fucking office to fucking open, cuz contrary to usual fucking practice and their fucking advertised opening times they dont open till 10am on a Wednesday

-_-

Suck ma fucking dick. I want breakfast, and now you have me here just wasting time out on the fucking streets no less.

If I had the means, I'd burn the fucking building down, roast the fucking staff and devour them for muvafuckin breakfast.

https://youtu.be/EujZC4SHdDA
 

Bad Itch

Push to Start
Local time
Today 4:59 PM
Joined
Jul 15, 2016
Messages
487
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Like... my last three posts have started out with me clicking into a reply window, picking up my keyboard and typing...

...into the wrong laptop.

I should pretend to pay closer attention when I am pretending to multitask.
:kodama1:
 

Sinny91

Banned
Local time
Today 8:59 PM
Joined
May 16, 2015
Messages
6,299
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Location
Birmingham, UK
Finally in bed, @2.07am.

I should be asleep by 3... then tomorrow begins all over again @7am.

God, I fucking hate mornings.
 

PmjPmj

Full of stars.
Local time
Today 8:59 PM
Joined
Sep 18, 2012
Messages
1,396
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Location
UK
Thanks, man. Ever since we had that conversation via PM with me that one time, I've felt you understand me a bit. I consider you a friend.

Glad to hear it - and likewise.

When it comes down to it, we're all stumbling fecklessly through this bizarre illusion we call 'reality'. It's good to occasionally look around and take note that everyone is struggling in some way or another - and that's ok, because we're just vaguely smart apes, for fuck sake.

<insert lengthy point about how we've out-evolved our biology far too quickly and thus suffer a great many consequences because of it here>
 

Bad Itch

Push to Start
Local time
Today 4:59 PM
Joined
Jul 15, 2016
Messages
487
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For the record, I have procrastinated the everloving shit out of the one thing I set out to do today. Yesterday, rather. Whenever. I AM STILL PROCRASTINATING.

...hey i wonder if there's some laundry I could be processing right now.

WANNA RIDE BIKES?!
 

PmjPmj

Full of stars.
Local time
Today 8:59 PM
Joined
Sep 18, 2012
Messages
1,396
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Location
UK
Most people procrastinate a lot of the time. I myself am an expert at it these days, constantly using the 20/80 rule. This is due to being constantly knackered rather than bone-idleness, though. Kids are the fucking worst.
 

Bad Itch

Push to Start
Local time
Today 4:59 PM
Joined
Jul 15, 2016
Messages
487
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I don't have a good reason like being knackered from herding chi'drens all day, I'm afraid. There's no excuse; it's all me. Wouldn't change a thing though... gives me my edge.

Okay maybe a few things. And then curry!
 

PmjPmj

Full of stars.
Local time
Today 8:59 PM
Joined
Sep 18, 2012
Messages
1,396
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Location
UK
Looking back on your life and noticing that huge amounts of time were wasted is not a good position to be in. Sure as shit, if I could go back to being about 19 again my life would be very different.

'Youth is wasted on the young'. Mostly true.
 
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