moody
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You're fine!
-
OK, it's on.
The Random Thoughts Thread
- Thread starter Seducer of the Homeless
- Start date
You're fine!
peoplesuck
is escaping
._. k
Polaris
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@peoplesuck Without me hopefully sounding like the stereotypical callous scientist in a lab, I actually think the public nature of the conversations here is quite important. The spontaneity of the thread seems to often capture predominant aspects of younger (and probably the unexpressed sentiments of older) generations of men's and women's anxieties regarding social expectations and underpinning mysterious, unwritten rules.
What I'm trying to say is that there may be a number of random and potentially long-term lurkers who would be reading the conversations here, and perhaps even gaining some pretty important insights from it. The members of this forum are unusually thoughtful and intelligent individuals who are capable of providing very alternative and therefore potentially more useful feedback and experience than that of a counsellor following some cookie-cutter recipe for a generalised case. You are also getting a more "organic" experience due to the multiple perspectives that are expressed, which means you are given the opportunity to make decisions based on several sources of input rather than a singular influence. In my opinion, that's a positive, but other people may disagree.
The issue I have always had with counseling is that the counselor is getting paid for their work, which renders the power dynamic somewhat unnatural and also subject to pressure. I think this is why counseling has never worked for me - I'm just too hyper-aware of the fact that end of money means end of support. In that way, counseling to me seems anti-human. I also rarely find myself comfortable with a strange person listening to me talk about things I don't really want to share, unless I somehow 'click' with them. You are also subject to having a random person assigned to you, which not only renders you vulnerable in terms of how you think you are going to be received, but you're also somewhat reduced to a "case", and thus hand-balled around in a web controlled by seemingly invisible forces. People are more or less conscious of this when they see a counselor, which I think just adds further to the artificial undertones of counseling. Additionally, I often end up analysing the counselor back which often leads to the conclusion that they're possibly as fucked in the head as I am - if not worse
I therefore find the counseling fee difficult to justify as it all reveals itself as the biggest joke.
In terms of how fragmented family and community has become, it's increasingly difficult for people to be able to just turn to someone to talk to at any time. You can't just ring up a counselor for a chat, but you can turn to a friend or family at any time without feeling like you owe them something. Nowadays, because of this fragmentation young people seem to be searching for replacement role models so they turn to people or groups that may or may not be healthy for their development.
The fact that you're very open and receptive for suggestions and constructive criticism is also important. You are setting an interesting example in the context of the current Zeitgeist, which seems to be characterised by people's tendecy to shift all responsibility away from themselves.
It's kinda like a very spontaneous and slightly off-the-rails "Hos Peder".
What I'm trying to say is that there may be a number of random and potentially long-term lurkers who would be reading the conversations here, and perhaps even gaining some pretty important insights from it. The members of this forum are unusually thoughtful and intelligent individuals who are capable of providing very alternative and therefore potentially more useful feedback and experience than that of a counsellor following some cookie-cutter recipe for a generalised case. You are also getting a more "organic" experience due to the multiple perspectives that are expressed, which means you are given the opportunity to make decisions based on several sources of input rather than a singular influence. In my opinion, that's a positive, but other people may disagree.
The issue I have always had with counseling is that the counselor is getting paid for their work, which renders the power dynamic somewhat unnatural and also subject to pressure. I think this is why counseling has never worked for me - I'm just too hyper-aware of the fact that end of money means end of support. In that way, counseling to me seems anti-human. I also rarely find myself comfortable with a strange person listening to me talk about things I don't really want to share, unless I somehow 'click' with them. You are also subject to having a random person assigned to you, which not only renders you vulnerable in terms of how you think you are going to be received, but you're also somewhat reduced to a "case", and thus hand-balled around in a web controlled by seemingly invisible forces. People are more or less conscious of this when they see a counselor, which I think just adds further to the artificial undertones of counseling. Additionally, I often end up analysing the counselor back which often leads to the conclusion that they're possibly as fucked in the head as I am - if not worse
I therefore find the counseling fee difficult to justify as it all reveals itself as the biggest joke.In terms of how fragmented family and community has become, it's increasingly difficult for people to be able to just turn to someone to talk to at any time. You can't just ring up a counselor for a chat, but you can turn to a friend or family at any time without feeling like you owe them something. Nowadays, because of this fragmentation young people seem to be searching for replacement role models so they turn to people or groups that may or may not be healthy for their development.
The fact that you're very open and receptive for suggestions and constructive criticism is also important. You are setting an interesting example in the context of the current Zeitgeist, which seems to be characterised by people's tendecy to shift all responsibility away from themselves.
It's kinda like a very spontaneous and slightly off-the-rails "Hos Peder".
peoplesuck
is escaping
Thanks Polaris, I wasnt looking at the big picture, I just felt like I was oversharing and being annoying. when you have low self esteem you naturally feel unwanted.
I hadnt considered anyone really learning from my posts. I agree that there are some very insightful, and considerate people here, It is a unique and valuable way to learn about yourself.
Yeah, nothing makes you feel more cared for than paying someone to help you.
This is true, this day in age most people have nobody to talk to. I know I dont.
I dont think I need to tell you im starving for input, I really dont know where I stand or how people perceive me. I really dont hide anything, I dont see any reason to, nobody knows I use this forum, nobody on this forum knows who I am. If anyone unlocks my pc and finds it, well we're going to have a long talk, or they are going to find out how much I value my privacy. Its easy for me to intimidate people. When all you see is light and joking, a monotone voice and a death stare does it. Thats me converting fear of vulnerability into aggression, I have to stop doing that, I wonder where I learned it. Maybe its more acceptable in my culture to be violent rather than vulnerable. Truly, there is a part of me that wants to be feared, I used to pander to it, I stopped a while ago.
it is perfectly natural to blame others, its beneficial, easy, allows for more confidence even if its unwarranted.
I read an article a while back that was about how to make someone feel cared for. One of the things is to reference things from a previous conversation, it lets them know you listened. It made me smile to read this. It is also very accurate, I always thought I would like to do something like that. Here we are.
Thanks for your input, it really does matter to me.
Recently I stopped caring to debate or learn new things, Ive become quite obsessed with figuring myself out. Like most things I become obsessed over, Im learning quickly.
Ive had more personal development in the past 2 weeks than my entire life. I dont feel like I have any place debating on this forum, Im probably one of the youngest members, its quite apparent that everyone is much more informed about history, and culture. The things that interest me arent popular on here, but atm this is a great place to share my thoughts and get feedback. its my facebook. fite me
peoplesuck
is escaping
I had violent dreams my entire life. They were gruesome, I never woke up feeling shaken, just another night of violence. At one point I had a dream where someone tried to start a fight with me. I decided it wasnt worth hurting them. I remember waking up feeling so proud of myself, surely if I chose peace in a state of nearly no self control, that meant something had changed for the better inside me. I believe that was my last violent dream.
I think my dreams desensitized me to violence, nearly completely. I vividly remember tearing someones eyes out. That sort of thing stays with you, I still remember what it felt like. I used to think joining the military would be therapeutic for me, being filled with what I thought was repressed rage, I can almost turn my empathy off completely for short periods. I sort of felt like that was were a person like me belonged, no fear of death and a desire for violence. I would never want to hurt an innocent person, I know I couldnt live with that, however I know if someone threatened me I could do anything without regard for them. Ive been waiting for someone to give me an excuse to let go and crush them, at this point im sure this has been misguided frustration, and that im not actually like that. Im grateful that I havent allowed that misguided emotion to hurt anyone. Im happy with the person im becoming.
These are my deepest thoughts. Bad enough that I try to forget them, but they were how I felt at one point or another. It makes me sick to think I was like that at one point. I dont feel responsible though, I was raised like a barbarian, I was actually abused for crying at one point. I was almost raised by the neighborhood kids. I think im proud that I have overcome this demented start. I was lying about not holding anything back, but now I can say that honestly. I kind of felt like an open book, but I was hiding the stuff that I havent really come to terms with. I suppose its impossible to know how rare this is due to nobody being willing to share things this dark. You need not worry about me, I know the warning signs that im getting upset, I have learned to leave before I ever get to the point of being destructive. If my teacher couldnt pull destructive behavior out of me, its not going to just slip out. Im not comfortable sharing this but I guess im going to do it and get it off my chest.
I think my dreams desensitized me to violence, nearly completely. I vividly remember tearing someones eyes out. That sort of thing stays with you, I still remember what it felt like. I used to think joining the military would be therapeutic for me, being filled with what I thought was repressed rage, I can almost turn my empathy off completely for short periods. I sort of felt like that was were a person like me belonged, no fear of death and a desire for violence. I would never want to hurt an innocent person, I know I couldnt live with that, however I know if someone threatened me I could do anything without regard for them. Ive been waiting for someone to give me an excuse to let go and crush them, at this point im sure this has been misguided frustration, and that im not actually like that. Im grateful that I havent allowed that misguided emotion to hurt anyone. Im happy with the person im becoming.
These are my deepest thoughts. Bad enough that I try to forget them, but they were how I felt at one point or another. It makes me sick to think I was like that at one point. I dont feel responsible though, I was raised like a barbarian, I was actually abused for crying at one point. I was almost raised by the neighborhood kids. I think im proud that I have overcome this demented start. I was lying about not holding anything back, but now I can say that honestly. I kind of felt like an open book, but I was hiding the stuff that I havent really come to terms with. I suppose its impossible to know how rare this is due to nobody being willing to share things this dark. You need not worry about me, I know the warning signs that im getting upset, I have learned to leave before I ever get to the point of being destructive. If my teacher couldnt pull destructive behavior out of me, its not going to just slip out. Im not comfortable sharing this but I guess im going to do it and get it off my chest.
Black Rose
An unbreakable bond
I taste like candy
Black Rose
An unbreakable bond
Kormak
The IT barbarian - eNTP - 6w7-4-8 so/sx
I have been reading Jung on this.
I think its a kind of atavistic resurgance. I'm connecting to some kind of shared archetype buried deep in my subconscious and the subconsious of other people.. Freedom to seek information without restriction and to share it has always been sacrosanct to me, along with a healthy disregard for honor, rules and so on. The devil's advocate, a fickle trickster who none the less sows the seeds of truth. I think I just found something that reflects my internal workings and this example in the form of the Woden archetype I'm satrting to see as a path towards actions that are congruent with my natural instincts of how and what I want to work towards.
Both my MBTI type and the eanneagram type is a kind of explanation for this archetype, that is working itself forward and manifesting itself consciously in who I am.
Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ’crack-pot’ than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost. THOMAS J. WATSON
https://www.16personalities.com/entp-personality
https://psychologia.co/6w7/
So yeah, a kind of atavistic resurgance of something from deep within the collective subconscious.... as if I'm sort of born again avatar of a way /pattern of seeing the world that is buried within mankind's genetic history.... very odd.
This is kind of like what Philemon was to Jung.
"It took me a long time to admit to something within myself that was not myself. - Carl Gustav Jung
This archetype exists out there, in other people and has a life of it's own independent of me.
e_e is this what theists refer to as a spiritual experience?
Polaris
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No problem - I know looking at the big picture isn't really something that comes naturally when you're like a frog in a well. I think this is an aspect of depression -- not being able to look beyond the immediate field of view.
If you've been conditioned to feel unwanted, feeling unwanted is going to be at the forefront of your mind. I think you have taken some very important first steps in the direction of resetting your own perception in that regard.
Yes. Even those that may seem contrary or different to one's own values are sometimes necessary catalysts for further reflection and re-assessment. It propels discussion and is more reflective of the multiple values and viewpoints that constitute and continue to shape cultural reality.
Heh, yeah. I should add that while I don't personally find much value in counseling it's obviously not representative of how other people may respond.
By no means am I saying counselors should work for free - they have invested time and money into study and provide a service like anyone else. It just a bit tragicomical that we've reached the point of needing to "buy" ourselves parent figures, but put into perspective it's probably just another "first world problem". We should be grateful for the defunct service that works further to lull our self-absorbed egos into oblivion.
Whoops, I did it again...
I have a naturally scientific mindset which means I approach self-analysis in a detached manner. I don't need to be nurtured - I need to understand. Female counselors don't seem to get this and I don't know why because I have tried to explain many times. To my constant frustration it somehow mysteriously always comes back to: "you poor thing, your [insert parent figure] didn't [insert action] so I will pretend to give you sympathy in their absence". Fuck off with your condescending pretense - that's not what I asked for. It's icky. Like people trying to touch you when you clearly asked them not to.
As much as aggression is a natural and sometimes necessary defense mechanism, one could rely too much on aggression as a coping strategy. It's easy because it's almost expected.
At the same time, there seems to be growing tendency for men to become paranoid about their perceived innate tendency for violent behaviour. To become paralysed with guilt when you haven't even done anything. All humans are very capable of doing horrible things if pushed to their limits. But as much as it is necessary to acknowledge it, it is self-defeating to feel guilty by association. First world countries in general are no longer the sort of places where violence is necessary. People aren't pushed to the limits of their own existence. The violence is instead directed inwards at ourselves and therefore also people close to us become affected, directly or indirectly. There is no easy answer to this. However, punishing ourselves is definitely not the answer, even if outside forces try to tell us differently.
And this is difficult when media everywhere is bombarding us with sensationalist garbage, exaggerating the magnitude of events which then serves to fuel the fire even further. We buy into what the media is trying to sell us instead of listening to people around us. The media sell garbage because it's the easiest way to make money, all the while self-righteously claiming that "it's what people want" and thereby shifting responsibility away from themselves. What great examples they are setting for the young and impressionable.
I don't want to pretend I have any solutions. But I think communication is the key. We need to be clear about intent. Listen, watch, ask questions - this goes for all involved parts. There's nothing to lose if nothing's been gained. But yeah, two introverts together could potentially just become the biggest farce. Serac's example is quite typical. Awkward introverts too paranoid to make a move with candles burning down around them and an entire Italian band serenading profusely in the background. Analysis paralysis.
Your dream is just your subconscious at work. I don't believe there's anything random about dreaming so I think you are right to pay attention to them.
I'm glad you appreciate it. It doesn't come natural for me to outwardly engage with people this way. So I'm glad you picked up on this because I struggle with expressing myself appropriately. I am normally perceived as being aloof or even cold because I don't behave in ways that people expect. I'm on the high-functioning end of the spectrum and often feel lost in social settings. Even now after all these years of practice I still have to carefully weigh every word I write because I'm paranoid of making social blunders.
I hope I haven't said anything too out there or inappropriate....this is always very daunting for me. If you knew how many times I have re-written this post you'd be horrified. It takes me a long time to formulate my thoughts around social/interpersonal issues.
What are your interests? I may have an idea, but don't remember you spelling it out.
Have you thought about just making a thread about it?
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
There's definitely a sub-division of entertainment we get on this forum: we talk to each other over the little free time we have about random ideas. Can't wait for christmas break, I think I've unlearned the ability for my thoughts to wander. I should have more time then. My friend asked me if I ever just relax, to which I realised I don't. I'm not sure that's a bad thing, it's not that I think I'm stressed but I don't "entertain" myself much. I do listen to a lot of music but only in the background.
When I feel as focused as I have been recently my language quality drops. This message looks like it was put together by a five year old.
When I feel as focused as I have been recently my language quality drops. This message looks like it was put together by a five year old.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Thank you!
Inexorable Username
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Aww thanks! The pic on my profile is actually my face. Although, it's my face without makeup...and it's not a very good pic. The lighting makes me look like my skin is old/rough, and I'm pretty sure this was taken when I was doing an all-nighter. It's obvious I haven't brushed my hair. I might have had day old mascara on....
Can't remember. Anyways...you can tell that the pic is real, because if you look closely, there is an evil little blonde hair on the lower left-hand corner of my chin, which makes me look like I have a beard or something - and which, now that I'm noticing it, will haunt me until my dying day. At least you'd be able to use it to identify my dead body now. You can be like "Yep, that's her. We talked on a forum for a while and she went on and on about that beard of hers."
I chose this ragged looking picture of myself in a weird attempt to blend with you boys! I didn't want to look too lady-like, lest I contaminate conversations with my feminine profile picture. Oh and...I can't exactly pretend to be a male on forums. It doesn't work. I've tried to not identify my gender, but I get found out in about 2 minutes. Males are uncanny at dissecting text for sex identification!
Also, I've been told my face, and speech, is intimidating. Which is sad ._. cuz I'm genuinely a nice person...I think? I also just barely take photos of my face. I'm not big into social media and I never take selfies. I also barely do anything out of the house...what am I supposed to do, get a selfie of myself strategizing on a whiteboard? How weird would that be. So this pic - it happened to be in my phone. I wish I could remember....why...?
Oh! I did apply a color filter. That's why my eyes look yellowish and the whole picture has a magenta tinge. I like warmer colors. This filter almost makes me look like I'm wearing lipstick. It's prettyish - without being sexy.
I do think I must have very high levels of estrogen, which is really strange to me because I'm also highly solitary, indepdendent, stubborn, and...I'm actually pretty dominant, personality-wise. Not to boyfriends, generally. Unless they are naturally submissive men. I usually date guys I admire, so I act a bit more submissive around them. In the rest of my life, though, I dunno. I don't generally have female friends who are equals, for instance. I have broken people I'm fixing, and I have followers/admirers. I get a lot of interesting information, because people feel feel to spew their deepest darkest secrets to me (even when I don't ask for them), but I don't really get to be in the "inner friend" circle. I never understood that, really. That's just how things are. I can have deep, meaningful, very personal relationships - but women have always acted submissively towards me in weird ways. It's easy to detect submissive behavior.
Maybe this is my shadow function at play? Maybe I come across as a narcissist or something...
The following is a massively long rant about my estrogen-based build, feel free to skip it! The conclusion is that it serious sucks. Very much. It's one of the reasons I was told I might fit in better in Norway or something.
I definitely have a heavily estrogen-based build, but let me tell you...it SUCKS. I can't tell you how many times I've wished from the bottom of my heart that I could be one of those stick-thin coltish looking girls. But no...I have to get the hips and the thighs that come with it - and the weird upper proportions. I can never get smaller than a size 4 in pants - and what sucks about that, is that I can never find pants, because pants that are made for my thighs/hips are not made for my waist. So I just wear leggings and sweats. I can't wear dress shirts, either, because again - dress shirts that are made for my bust are not made for my waist. Can't wear skinny jeans - which is what everyone wears these days. Can't wear chinos or cropped pants because they make me look fat because my legs are thin enough. I can't even wear most dresses. I only fit in vintage dresses (like swing dresses and sun dresses), or real wrap dresses. I've spent hours upon hours searching online for actual, real wrap dresses - but they're not really made anymore. I also can't find bras. When I do, they're usually $80 or more. Every time I go shopping in the mall, I have to fight the urge to cry. Nothing I wear fits me - and everything I try on specifically doesn't fit on my largest parts - particularly my thighs, which I hate with passion. So trying on manufactured clothes is a nightmare for my self-esteem. :/
I definitely think that it's given me some serious body-image issues.
One of the things that also sucks, that I think people never think about, is that by having more curves than other women, I actually feel bigger. It doesn't matter if I'm the same weight, or a bit slimmer, even. She'll be able to fit into a size 2 pants, and I can only manage a size 4. I have to eat like a gazelle to be her weight, and I still look more massive. The media doesn't really portray my body type as feminine. So you end up feeling like you're not very "girly".
The other problem I've encountered is that I seem to generate a lot of stalkers and other undesireable male behavior. Like men who follow you in the supermarket, or follow you when you're walking down the street. I think I also tend to attract men that are just looking for sex much more than other women, because firstly, I've been told that I'm utterly unapproachable, and secondly, I think men that think they have "game" and fancy themselves "players" target women based on their bodies, and have the confidence to try to manipulate them into bed.
Anyways, these days, I just barely ever wear makeup,I dress in sweats and a sweatshirt everywhere I go, and I usually wear a huge pair of headphones, which discourages conversation! Lol. I tried wearing a wedding ring in college, but I got called out on it by a guy that pressured me into saying whether I was married...and since I don't lie I wouldn't do it...and then he said women just wear rings like that to play hard to get
-_- ....
Don't get the wrong idea though. I don't think I'm some incredibly sexy person. Especially now. I'm on diet at the moment, because unfortunately, it's really easy for me to gain weight, and quite difficult to lose it. Another thing I blame on estrogen.
Anyways! Moral of the story - that whole "hourglass figure" idea...it's a CURSE. Absolutely terrible. I know, I know - "the grass is always greener", but in my case, I really do think that women with slender frames have absolutely no idea how much it sucks to have curves. It's much easier to have less of a figure, and these days, it's trendy and socially desirable. Everything is built for women with slender frames. Even what's "in", fashion-wise.
Feels nice to vent though, for once! Especially to a guy. Other ladies feel my pain, but there's something nice about being able to vent to a guy about it! Thanks for the invitation!
Just found them! Can't believe I didn't actually think of looking for an emoji option. I just assumed the emojis were forced upon me when I try to use old-fashion text-base faces (which I much prefer)! I also finally figured out what intpf means! Lol!
peoplesuck
is escaping
This wasnt really constructive criticism, just mean spirited bitching. You seem like a nice person and this was out of line. sorry.
Thats my knee jerk reaction. this is the key difference between being a woman and a man. men live isolated painful existences if they dont get up the courage, build a tolerance for rejection, meanwhile women are complaining about people approaching them. women get confidence through relation ships THEY DO NOT EARN, meanwhile they want to say men need to grow up and stop being pussys. omgggg bleh. I like you and obv you are cute but that pisses me off.
Being a man is fucking terrible, I would glady become a woman at the drop of a hat. Youre scared people will rape you in the parkinglot? learn mma and carry a knife, like omg I truly do not understand how woman think they have it so bad.
Im not trying to be an asshole but you have to understand how upsetting it is to see a person complaining about attention when you have been ignored your entire life. You clearly dont know what that is like. If these are your deepest problems then im sorry that Im not sympathetic about it, but I simply cannot feel bad for you. What I lack you have too much of. I have never felt desired or valuable, or even attractive. Im bitter.
As someone who has been isolated pretty much their entire life, seeing someone complain about being beautiful and approached pisses me off deepy. poor you, you're an 11/10. I would saw my arm off to have your problems. learn to sew and stop complaining.
Thats my knee jerk reaction. this is the key difference between being a woman and a man. men live isolated painful existences if they dont get up the courage, build a tolerance for rejection, meanwhile women are complaining about people approaching them. women get confidence through relation ships THEY DO NOT EARN, meanwhile they want to say men need to grow up and stop being pussys. omgggg bleh. I like you and obv you are cute but that pisses me off.
Being a man is fucking terrible, I would glady become a woman at the drop of a hat. Youre scared people will rape you in the parkinglot? learn mma and carry a knife, like omg I truly do not understand how woman think they have it so bad.
Im not trying to be an asshole but you have to understand how upsetting it is to see a person complaining about attention when you have been ignored your entire life. You clearly dont know what that is like. If these are your deepest problems then im sorry that Im not sympathetic about it, but I simply cannot feel bad for you. What I lack you have too much of. I have never felt desired or valuable, or even attractive. Im bitter.
Inexorable Username
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It’s okay - really. You don’t have to be sorry. Your opinion is shared by most of the populous. To add insult to injury, I also grew up fairly wealthy, even though I didn’t know that when I was growing up.
However, your wrong when you say I don’t know how it feels. I was the fat girl growing up. I feel like that’s sort of okay in some demographics, but in a white wealthy neighborhood, is it probably the worst thing you can be. I also dressed like a slob, and I was a freak and an outcast. For most of mommy grade school years, people just ignored me, but when they did say something, it was pretty horrible.
I wasn’t fat when I was about 4th/5th grade and younger. But I was still a weirdo so I was mercilessly bullied. I had one weirdo female friend who was lanky with glasses, and we spent all recess hiding from the boys. Not all of the boys - just a specific pack of popular ones. They would roam the playground looking for us, and when they found us they would circle us and pick on Amy until she cried. (They picked on me some, but I didn’t cry, so it wasn’t as fun. Amy cried easily.)
I was also told when I was a kid that I wasn’t ladylike, and I wasn’t enough of a woman because I didn’t want to wear pretty girls clothes, and I was told repeatedly by teachers that I would fail, and one teacher called me stupid in front of the entire class.
I was definitely rejected by the boys, but I feel like that’s putting it mildly. In my first couple of years of highschool, boys were afraid to look at me or talk to me because they didn’t want to be associated with me or let me think that they might like me. At one point in my sophomore year, I started staying in an old wooden house that’s been in my family, and I started having parties there. During one such party, I showed a group of about three people my bedroom, but I locked the door because I didn’t want other people in the party barging in. Later I heard one of the boys telling a group of people how I had locked him in my room and he was like “I thought she was going to rape me or something”.
I used to think all popular, pretty girls with bitches, tbh. I was friends with the outcasts - a small group of them anyways - and we used to make fun of popular pretty girls for being stupid.
Then I went to college, lost the weight, and suddenly became “pretty”. (I never completely lost the weight, I’ve always had big thighs and I’ve never had a flat stomach.)
Then I finally realized what pretty girls have to go through. They are, essentially, I think, the most hated demographic. Women hate you because your presence makes them feel insecure...or worse, the guys they’re interested with make moves on you - which literally destroys friendships. Men hate you because they think you would reject them, or they expect you to put out and you don’t. Every day you leave the house, you’re on a stage. Everybody stares at you. Girls talk about you behind your back. Men follow you. It’s really hard to find clothes to wear, because nothing is made for someone that looks like you. I will spend 6 hours shopping, and find a pair of pants and one shirt. Everything is really expensive too. I’m not even that good looking, because, like I said - I never got to have the perfectly flat stomach or the beautiful thighs. Instead I have cellulite on my thighs and stretch marks from where I had growth spurts and weight loss. :/
I think the worst part is that I don’t think a nice guy would ever ask me out. No matter what environment I’ve been in - school, traveling, the only guys that ask me out seem to have serious issues. They’re psychopaths, or narcissists, or they have no respect for women. They’re also really good at hiding it.
So yeah, I do actually get where you’re coming from, and I don’t hold it against you or think you’re petty for it. It’s easy for me to empathize with that perspective.
In fact, you might have a perspective which never fails to piss -me- off...which is that perspective that men have that “Pretty girls have it so easy. Everybody is nice to them!”
People haven’t been nice to me at all >_>
People, frankly, have been awful to me. Lol. Especially the guys...I think a fair few of them want to take a leaf out of “The Game” and throw me a “neg”, so they make mean comments about my body. Other guys just get high expectations, I think, or reflect some kind of ideal on me, and get pissed and disappointed when I don’t meet the standard. Other guys hate me, I think, even though they’ve never spoken to me. (This, I’ve learned from talking to men online and from my own perspectives in highschool.)
Don’t take any of that out of context though! I’m a very happy person these days. Dating is rough for everyone for different reasons, and I’m happy I never had to be a guy. I also think that experiencing the spectrum I experienced was really valuable in better understanding diverse perspectives and the multitude of ways it can hurt to be human. I’ve grown a lot, and I’ve come to love myself. Even my fat thighs...I never broke a bone - thanks to my beefy build. Lol.
Also, being an outcast and feeling uncomfortable in public helped me to accept my introverted nature a lot more quickly I think, and I spent so much more time developing my mind and my talents. I also got really good with animals! I’m good with training dogs, for instance. I have great goals in life, and I’m really happy I didn’t end up getting married by default - so in that way, even my sort of terrible relationships worked out for me.
Things sucked for a while, but being young sucks. The older you get, the better life is.
Nothing you say is ever out of line - okay? You should always feel free to be 100% honest with me about anything you’re thinking/feeling! I actually love that we can talk like this. It’s liberating. So much freedom. Please always feel free to speak your mind, and never think that it’s going to hurt my feelings. I’ve had a lot of crazy experiences...I wouldn’t elaborate on most of them here, but my feelings don’t get easily hurt anymore. Hardships make you strong and sensible.
Just let me know that you’re not feeling insecure...lol. That would make me feel really bad for blabbing thoughtlessly ._.
Edit: It’s worth keeping in mind that I don’t look traditionally beautiful. I look nothing like a supermodel. I kind of look like a female dwarf from WoW, but taller. XD
moody
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@peoplesuck
I always find it good for people to just blurt out what they think, so they can realize whether or not the really think that way. (Instead of always keeping an unfavorable opinion to yourself and letting it fester, unchecked).
I just wanted to illuminate something of your last post--you've commented before that you've been told you could be a model. You've said girls have showed interest in you before (despite you being uncomfortable with it). I think you're feelings were a bit out-of-context...just as a nosy observer.
And to be a wiseacre (because I'm an INTP and its a compulsion), girls are socially held to a much higher standard. You've complained about they having more options for styles and beauty, but the truth is if you don't make yourself up as a women, you're considered unprofessional. Even if you just have curly hair. It's starting to relax a bit, but not wearing makeup is usually unprofessional. To get a job, you have to look good, or you're perceived as someone who doesn't care. It's a double-edged sword.
I always find it good for people to just blurt out what they think, so they can realize whether or not the really think that way. (Instead of always keeping an unfavorable opinion to yourself and letting it fester, unchecked).
I just wanted to illuminate something of your last post--you've commented before that you've been told you could be a model. You've said girls have showed interest in you before (despite you being uncomfortable with it). I think you're feelings were a bit out-of-context...just as a nosy observer.
And to be a wiseacre (because I'm an INTP and its a compulsion), girls are socially held to a much higher standard. You've complained about they having more options for styles and beauty, but the truth is if you don't make yourself up as a women, you're considered unprofessional. Even if you just have curly hair. It's starting to relax a bit, but not wearing makeup is usually unprofessional. To get a job, you have to look good, or you're perceived as someone who doesn't care. It's a double-edged sword.
peoplesuck
is escaping
If you have small tits, take birth control, if you have a flat ass do squats. If you are a man wtf do you do, get 70k plastic surgery, go to school for 8 years to have the wealth women want? And if youre short, well your fucked. It feels like everyone is super shallow and not worth their weight in salt. That being said Im still very disappointed in myself for just being reactive and mean. I understand not all women are terrible, not all men are either.
I strongly encourage you to stop being passive and actually go after the guys you like. Really, be very kind and express that you like them, SEND ALL THE SIGNALS, SOME OF US ARE FLYING BLIND. If you sit around waiting for guys to ask you out, guess fucking what? its the guys who are players and dont care about you. You know high on psychopathic traits. surprise MF
move to norway, women can make moves first and not be considered sluts/desperate.
Basically im bitter and I think women have it EZ and my mind has not been changed, but i like you and I dont know you, you had a tough childhood, but it gets way easier as you age. Being a woman, you have relationships with no effort, bad or not its fucking INPUT. guys like me are isolated so long they become bitter and hateful, Im trying to get the fuck out there before its too late for me.
Also! thicc thighs are my favorite so....yeah <.< the only guys who care about stretch marks are pussies, slap the shit out of them if they get grossed out, and stop dating fairies.
BTW i totally feel you on boobs being terrible, I have decent pecs and I can see how walking up stairs and just being a human would fucking suck.
I wasnt being a sarcastic bitch either, learn to sew. Take it from a dude with awkward ass proportions, sewing saves time and you get what you want. also hem tape is your friend if you have short legs, or your waist only comes in long flamingo lengths. I started wearing womens jeans bc I only shop at thrift stores, my proportions fit size 10 perfect, but the crotches are usually a bit small :C CONSEQUENCES
I strongly encourage you to stop being passive and actually go after the guys you like. Really, be very kind and express that you like them, SEND ALL THE SIGNALS, SOME OF US ARE FLYING BLIND. If you sit around waiting for guys to ask you out, guess fucking what? its the guys who are players and dont care about you. You know high on psychopathic traits. surprise MF
move to norway, women can make moves first and not be considered sluts/desperate.
Basically im bitter and I think women have it EZ and my mind has not been changed, but i like you and I dont know you, you had a tough childhood, but it gets way easier as you age. Being a woman, you have relationships with no effort, bad or not its fucking INPUT. guys like me are isolated so long they become bitter and hateful, Im trying to get the fuck out there before its too late for me.
Also! thicc thighs are my favorite so....yeah <.< the only guys who care about stretch marks are pussies, slap the shit out of them if they get grossed out, and stop dating fairies.
BTW i totally feel you on boobs being terrible, I have decent pecs and I can see how walking up stairs and just being a human would fucking suck.
I wasnt being a sarcastic bitch either, learn to sew. Take it from a dude with awkward ass proportions, sewing saves time and you get what you want. also hem tape is your friend if you have short legs, or your waist only comes in long flamingo lengths. I started wearing womens jeans bc I only shop at thrift stores, my proportions fit size 10 perfect, but the crotches are usually a bit small :C CONSEQUENCES
peoplesuck
is escaping
I could count the times a women have flirted with me on one hand. Im so used to being an outcast that saying make up is required to look profession means nothing. Does it even count if the flirts are from my moms older friends?
@Polaris I will get back to you when I am ready. Im not feeling social, and im quite disappointed in myself. the fact that you took the time to type that, and apparently retype is multiple times, deserves a response that is more thought out. Agian, I appreciate the input, that goes for the others as well.
Im being way too reactive and bitchy today. My bad.
I will get back to everyone when Im ready to have a conversation, disregard the bitching and unthoughtful responses
moody
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Eh, you're fine
Inexorable Username
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Lol!!! I wear men’s clothing! I don’t know why I thought that was so hilarious. But yeah - as long as I go way up in size, I can actually find men’s clothes that fit me. They just look really, really baggy.
I tried sewing :/
Sewing makes me emotionally unstable. I understand a vast number of topics, for the life of me I can’t use rulers. I have absolutely no special relations. Everything I’ve tried to sew looks like a total nightmare.
I’ve asked out guys before and given them all the signals. It didn’t work out. The guys that aren’t psychotic just super insecure around me and my presence just basically shreds their confidence. Then they either hate me, or devolve into a puddle of self-loathing and misery :/
They also refuse to have opinions or be themselves. The way they act is completely falsified based on what hey think they should or shouldn’t do.
Without trying to be racist about it...the only guys that have ever told me my thighs are sexy have been black, and none of them ever asked me out...after a decent amount of qualitative research, I’ve established that it’s probably because I’m a white woman >_> ..
I do, totally get your insecurities - but I think you might be overestimating how much women care about bodies. There’s so many other traits that are more important in a man. Time and time again, it seems to me, scientific studies show that women value a slew of other traits over physical beauty. However, it really does seem like, for men, physical beauty is probably about 70%-80% of the equation.
And while its easy to get into relationships - that’s not exactly a good thing. Having multiple destructive relationships really messes with a person’s head. There’s just so many times you can be used and manipulated before it starts to affect you. I think I’ve done pretty good at curbing the bitterness. Maybe not though.
As far as effort?
I’ve had to put massive amounts of efforts into relationships! It’s insane. I’m expected to dress pretty and wear makeup every time he sees me. Most of the time we talk, it’s me listening to all of his problems and empathizing. If I talk - he doesn’t listen. I seldom get to choose what we do. Once we’re officially together, he doesn’t really bother taking me out anywhere. Doesn’t like to spend the money.
In my last relationship, I had to clean the house every day for about two hours. I had to weed the garden, take out the trash, clean his shoes, rake the leaves, get the mail, dust...everything. He cooked, and made money. But didn’t want to spend it. I also rubbed his back and/or feet for 1-2 hour sessions about three times a week.
In a relationship, men, I feel, just have to basically sit there, listen, cuddle, and kiss. Women...meanwhile...have to manage everything else, and also constantly look nice, and have a positive attitude.
And try asking a man to do things. They usually don’t listen the first time, forget the second time, and if you ask a third time - you’re being a nag.
Men generally see being with a woman as a waste of time unless they’re getting something sexual out of it.
I don’t think you’re like that, but you would never ask me out, and chances are - I would never know you liked me. -_-
Inexorable Username
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NO!!! Don’t! Please don’t be disappointed in yourself!
Why should you be? It’s logical to feel the way you’re feeling. I felt that way too. It’s what everyone feels when they’re struggling with the kind of alienating feelings and experiences you’re struggling with.
Shame is destructive. Don’t feel ashamed.
This is just an opportunity for you to hear other opinions that nobody has ever offered to you before. It’s an opportunity to grow your database of informations on humans.
I don’t feel upset, so why should you feel ashamed?
Inexorable Username
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Come back
I have to leave soon anyways...but I like talking to you. I think you’re really interesting.
Anyways - you immediately backtracked and apologized! Like, wtf? Nobody ever does that. You’re obviously a really, really good person with a high degree of empathy. Everybody has feelings. Here, we’re just free to voice them.
peoplesuck
is escaping
thanks, Im a good person deep down.
Come back
I have to leave soon anyways...but I like talking to you. I think you’re really interesting.
Anyways - you immediately backtracked and apologized! Like, wtf? Nobody ever does that. You’re obviously a really, really good person with a high degree of empathy. Everybody has feelings. Here, we’re just free to voice them.
I just realized im going through my expressive rebellious phase. Me and my 7yo nephew decided to dye my hair
we agreed on silver.
Also it seems like guys are either apha winners or shy insecure guys like me. It is irrational to expect a guy like me to be confident around a beautiful smart woman like yourself, we havent had our confidence built up, we have learned we are unfuckable and not good enough. It takes time. I also would never approach you irl since you are pretty and smart, I would assume instantly you had an SO, or you are insane. too bad, we would have bonded over our lack of sewing ability. (i too was defeated by sewing)I never considered maybe you havent found the right guy, I just imagine women go for psychopaths and dont care to try guys like me. I dunnno but I fucking hate being human. and im cussing like a sailor, I picked this up from the highschool kids, if i dont l talk like this they think im too much of a goodie two shoes, not sure why its coming out right now, I guess its more expressive. im feeling expressive.
peoplesuck
is escaping
The fact that you would put up with that sort of thing is insane, only a person with low self esteem would allow that. It would be wrong to tell you how wrong it is to let someone treat you like that, fucking obviously you didnt want that for yourself. It makes me sad to think someone so nice would be treated so badly, people without boundaries tend to bring out the worst in people, as well as attracting the worst types of people. In my experience the nicest people come from the hardest lives.
My mom is a doormat. I have watched her be mistreated my whole life, and from that I will not allow that for myself. I will not be stepped on, even as lonely and desperate as I am, I wont be used like that.
My empathy is like a light fixture in a shitty motel. It either isnt working or its way too bright. I think Ive been keeping it off consciously, because I can be way too empathetic, the way polaris is with regards to animals. I was like that at one point as well. Weird things pull my heart strings, child abuse and racism are definitely two of them.
I always undersell myself, I realized at one point that I had two options: be proud of myself and become an unchecked narcissist, or have low self esteem. here we are.
one low self esteem boi, now I can have relationships and develop a healthy confidence in myself.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Am I the only one who shaves completely dry? my skin doesnt handle shaving cream or after shave...Am I an alien or?
btw if you arent using a safety razor or a straight razor, you are a part of the problem, and I despise your life choices
btw if you arent using a safety razor or a straight razor, you are a part of the problem, and I despise your life choices
moody
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You sure? That sounds more drunk than when you post when you're actually drunk
Hmmm I think it can be a slippery slope sometimes...wanting to be nice because you care about someone, and it can feel like a slap in the face when you realize they don't respect you back.
@Inexorable Username
You are awesome, I can say pretty confidently that we'd be friends irl. Peoplesuck is right, you're too cool to be some douche-bag's maid. But it seems as though you've discovered that on your own! You go!
Ahh, some of the female member's of my family have no self-respect, and it makes me mad...I'm empathetic, but I also want to slap them. They don't know how to see themselves in control of their own lives. Same with some male family members, but it manifests differently. They go about it differently, but both men and women give themselves the role of "victim" equally as much.
When you try to snap them out of it, something like this happens:
They're not mutually exclusive. You can retain confidence in yourself and your experiences, and compartmentalize that from your environment and how people around you feel.
The way other's act towards you is hardly because of you, yet people are naturally narcissistic and always think another person's behavior is a reflection of them.
The less self-esteem you have, the more you'll assume about other people, and the less you'll be able to see. You'll shut yourself in, because you've fixed the world and everyone else as your antagonists.
Negative behavior and opinions is their problem. It's a reflection of them, no matter how much that voice in your head insists it's something you've done. Other people are rarely think about you (this is the general "you," not you you). They're thinking about what's going on in their own lives. After all, don't you respond the same way?
Marbles
What would Feynman do?
I see your point. Perhaps someone laced my nightcap? Or perhaps my sentimentality is inversely proportional to my blood alcohol levels? Or perhaps I simply wanted to post that song. Again.
@peoplesuck Safety razors are da shit, but I rarely use them dry. Usually I just trim my beard with a machine. How much of a "trap" can you be, if you dry shave with a straight razor? I'm pretty sure I saw crocodile dundee do that, once.
Inexorable Username
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I think my relationship was a combination of misplaced empathy and really bad life advice from the general public.
I’ve since learned that the worst wisdom comes from the general public.
Things like “It takes two to tango”. And “when you love someone you find a way to make it work”. This guy criticized me non-stop, and I had to beg him to hug me or kiss me. That’s the only thing I wanted from him effort-wise. He kept saying he would be affectionate when he was less stressed out. And he could be really sweet...when he was drunk. I always thought that was the real side of him and there was some way to get him to see it.
I was just an asset in his life though. In the end, all he cared about was his money. He even said if we got married, nothing in the house, or the house itself - nothing of his would be in any way mine, too. It would just all be his, and I would be in it, and that I was a fool if I thought any man would ever see if any other way than that - and that my father probably thinks the same way. Also, he wanted me to be a housewife.
I eventually decided that I could choose between being an eternal victim, and living life my own, independent way. So I chose independence and never looked back. Happy about it! It was a real self-victory!
I’ve since learned that the worst wisdom comes from the general public.
Things like “It takes two to tango”. And “when you love someone you find a way to make it work”. This guy criticized me non-stop, and I had to beg him to hug me or kiss me. That’s the only thing I wanted from him effort-wise. He kept saying he would be affectionate when he was less stressed out. And he could be really sweet...when he was drunk. I always thought that was the real side of him and there was some way to get him to see it.
I was just an asset in his life though. In the end, all he cared about was his money. He even said if we got married, nothing in the house, or the house itself - nothing of his would be in any way mine, too. It would just all be his, and I would be in it, and that I was a fool if I thought any man would ever see if any other way than that - and that my father probably thinks the same way. Also, he wanted me to be a housewife.
I eventually decided that I could choose between being an eternal victim, and living life my own, independent way. So I chose independence and never looked back. Happy about it! It was a real self-victory!
Inexorable Username
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I shave my legs dry 
Does that count? I do not use a straight razor on my legs. Maybe I should though...
Does that count? I do not use a straight razor on my legs. Maybe I should though...
Inexorable Username
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Oooo I’m just finding out about traps. Sexy. That’s so...anime! XD
Inexorable Username
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I dream in my little fantasy-ridden mind that somewhere, in Norway, there dwells a community of sweet males who would not think my body shape makes me a unicorn and who would talk to me like I’m a real, equal human. <3
We could geek out over stuff like physiology and drink Norwegian beer in that bar that’s made of ice!
Then I could go home, in my house, because it’s normal being in your house there. I would think.
We could geek out over stuff like physiology and drink Norwegian beer in that bar that’s made of ice!
Then I could go home, in my house, because it’s normal being in your house there. I would think.
Inexorable Username
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thanks, Im a good person deep down.
Come back
I have to leave soon anyways...but I like talking to you. I think you’re really interesting.
Anyways - you immediately backtracked and apologized! Like, wtf? Nobody ever does that. You’re obviously a really, really good person with a high degree of empathy. Everybody has feelings. Here, we’re just free to voice them.
I just realized im going through my expressive rebellious phase. Me and my 7yo nephew decided to dye my hair
we agreed on silver.
Also it seems like guys are either apha winners or shy insecure guys like me. It is irrational to expect a guy like me to be confident around a beautiful smart woman like yourself, we havent had our confidence built up, we have learned we are unfuckable and not good enough. It takes time. I also would never approach you irl since you are pretty and smart, I would assume instantly you had an SO, or you are insane. too bad, we would have bonded over our lack of sewing ability. (i too was defeated by sewing)I never considered maybe you havent found the right guy, I just imagine women go for psychopaths and dont care to try guys like me. I dunnno but I fucking hate being human. and im cussing like a sailor, I picked this up from the highschool kids, if i dont l talk like this they think im too much of a goodie two shoes, not sure why its coming out right now, I guess its more expressive. im feeling expressive.
You would never go for me because I’m too old now XD ...I’m officially a thirty year old. I’m probably one of the oldest people on this forum.
Anyways...alphas suck. Just gonna come right out and say it. Last boyfriend fancied himself an alpha, and the two other “alphas” I dated were the narcissist and the psychopath. Last boyfriend was mental illness free, by the way.
It sucks to date someone who thinks the world belongs at their feet. Especially when you don’t have that much in the self-esteem department. Also, I’m stubborn. So that really doesn’t help. I have to give up a large part of my identity to date these “alpha type” males. It’s never been worth it.
If a nice guy ever had had the self-esteem to be my partner, that could have been cool. It just doesn’t work out that way for some people...especially because I’m introverted, I think, and I’m shy until the conversation really starts rolling.
peoplesuck
is escaping
My first love interest was a 40 y.o woman, I was 16.
I blame her for my taste in older women, gross ik (not grandmas)
Good on you, progress!
Changing yourself for someone probably isnt ever going to work or be worth it.
Its hard to find decent people, you have to make moves or you will let them all get away.(everything I tell you applies to me, so yeah)
good luck, I guess
peoplesuck
is escaping
Absolutely true. Go back in time and tell that to 13yo Peoplesuck, he needs your wisdom.
smart assery aside, one of two real narcissists I have met had low self esteem, but she was still better than everyone, of course. I see what you mean, If I think people are reacting to me, I will have a messed up picture of myself and what is happening.
That went over my head, what did you mean?
peoplesuck
is escaping
I really like telling people im dumb, it sets standards low, easy to impress. im weak.
Inexorable Username
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Hah! Progress. That one made me laugh! See I need you wearing a cute little trap cheerleader outfit with Pom poms and that way every time I go out with someone who isn’t a complete psycho, you can cheer me on and be like “Wooo for you! You’re making progress!”
Older women? Wow. You are such a deep person. It’s so refreshing. Talking to you broadens my horizons and makes them sunny!
Right now I’m fixated on my career and my non-profit, but maybe one day I’ll just be a sugar mamma XD
I’d already like to adopt, so it sort of fits!
peoplesuck
is escaping
I think I have my new favorite thing to say. progress!
Im glad you got a laugh out of it.
Im sorta shy sorta willing to be a total weirdo. I think it would be so funny to beat up a macho man in a cheerleader outfit.
damn Im too old to adopt, SEE if you dont act you miss out!
Inexorable Username
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LOL! I meant adopt - as in adopt a kid! Like...my sugar momma’s mate and I would raise the kid together. Not Adopt as in adopt a man XD
You’re hilarious. I need to see you on weed or something some day.
You should watch The Try Guys if you never have. I think you would find them funny, and their audiobook might be able to help you step out of your shell. I think you would identify with them too - maybe Eugene in particular. He’s so gorgeous....and so gay. What a shame!
Keith is more my type though.
I’ll brb in about 20! Got to do some cleaning!
peoplesuck
is escaping
Yes, my ability to pick up on flirting is quite advanced.
I was pretty funny drunk, I could send you a clip of something I found hilarious. My hair was atrocious though, eek idk.
the try guys...I guess I will check them out.
Marbles
What would Feynman do?
Chatting with Moody the other day, I did some research and learned that there are nearly as many Americans claiming Norwegian heritage as there are Norwegians. After Ireland, Norway has had the most immigration to the US (per capita). So I suppose there might be a community of sweet Norwegian men up in Minnesota, somewhere. I doubt they'd be drinking beer, though? Religious nutters up in the mid west? Which is kind of funny... Back when Norwegians emigrated en masse, Scandinavia was probably among the most religious areas in Europe. Today it is the least religious in the world. So american-Scandinavians are conservative Christians, while modern Scandinavians are liberal atheists. Modern Scandinavians are pro choice, american-Scandinavians are pro-life, to tie it in with you thread on religion and gender.
I think 30 is a pretty average age, here. The most frequent posters are probably a bit younger.
I'd venture some advice on obnoxious men, but I really need to get some more sleep tonight. Insomnia has been a bitch, lately.
I think 30 is a pretty average age, here. The most frequent posters are probably a bit younger.
I'd venture some advice on obnoxious men, but I really need to get some more sleep tonight. Insomnia has been a bitch, lately.
Inexorable Username
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Yeah, I think you might like them! They're definitely marketed towards a younger audience though. Most of my peers wouldn't like them, but I have a very wide taste in media. In everything...actually.
Its like I have split personality disorder, except all my personalities identify as the same identity and there's no memory loss. I think that was too convoluted to make sense. You know how there's artwork that's gloomy and mysterious, like Starry Night? Then there's abstract artwork that looks like a drunk child ran into a bunch of paint buckets? I would be the abstract artwork. Or maybe the Starry Night, that then was subjected to the child with paint buckets. At least I'm rarely bored with myself....
If they're in America, they've been contaminated. I like the Hispanic people a lot, but second and third generation hispanics have generally become Americanized.
Sleep well!
peoplesuck
is escaping
I missed this. do you mean there are parts of yourself that are very complex and parts that are extremely simple? or are you eccentric with an unusual batch of characteristics, or both of those are wrong.
peoplesuck
is escaping
Thats a great way of putting it. when life gets hard people have more trouble seeing long term goals, or even remembering that there is a tomorrow.
Yes its been a theme throughout my life. I feel like I am making a lot of progress. Im proud that Im finally seeing the parts of me that were hidden from me, so hidden I couldnt even work at them, because I couldnt find them.
I agree, it helps you get a more well rounded idea of yourself, consider other things. (idk I just typed what you did in different words, good job public school system, I did your trick)
Thats a new word. And yes, its very strange, its more strange that nobody seems to think its strange.
Im not sure I understand, care to elaborate?
I used to be exactly like that, then I became human. I used to not have a self esteem, I just was, I knew exactly where my place was. Im not sure if I really knew or if I had just convinced myself of that, and in fact I did not even know who I was.
So we have an innate need for violence, and it comes out where it can? If thats what you meant I hadnt really thought of it that way.
Something totally off topic, but I start to feel fake if I dont get hurt after very long periods, like i dont even exist, as if im not real. Quite odd, but it seems to have stopped being the case, not sure why. There where times that I considered cutting myself since that was the thing people did, but I knew it would become destructive habit and chose not to.
Yep, peoplesuck, and for some reason the few that dont, arent really voicing themselves enough. Im to blame too, since I know that shit is wrong but, I sort of give up on humanity, at the same time my life's purpose is to restore humanity. Thats not even a joke, Im aiming big.
I completely agree, thats why I was proud of myself, and indeed something did change for the better.
I guess I get valuable advice and you get some practice. I too struggle to not come off wrong, its a chore, ruins the interactions. I thought I had some idea about how you worked.
I was wrong.
Dont worry too much about offending me, I would rather be hurt than clueless. I appreciate that you took the time to write this, and write this, and write this.
I like science, this is a forum of philosophy, neat but boring. Usually when I make threads nobody cares, but maybe I should put more effort in and they will too.
anything with neuroscience, engineering, lasers, I find AI super interesting but A man can only pursue so many interests with any depth, so I like learning about the things AI does but I dont understand it, I really would love to do AI, because I have ideas. Someone else will figure it out though. I like biomedical engineering, transhumanism is kinda my favorite. I put a magnet in my finger, If you can do it safely, go for it, you cannot compare the sensations you will feel, despite risking death and permanent nervous system damage I think it was well worth it. Im a complete whore for novelty.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
That's crazy, I would never massage someone's feet or back as if it was necessary. I don't know the context but I wouldn't do a periodic massage the same frequency as a shower.Sounds like a man child. I know a lot of guys aren't like that and that is certainly extreme, however I know females that assume that create agendas for both parties to follow even if they are the only ones interested. When it comes to that split the problem is perception for both parties: I may feel i'm contributing effort but I'm likely deciding that based on my perception of myself, rather than the commitment they're looking for.
Generally I don't think I get much from relationships because I harbour everything to myself. I resolve most issues by myself and try and not redirect issues onto the other member. I think that's me though, I don't think I allow myself to be loved or cared for. I hate the idea of a partner caring for me in the sense I rely on them, we must be equal, or I give more than I recieve: A faux dominance because I don't care about dominating anything I just care about not being the weakest link: this applies to most situations, I tend to convey myself as a pillar for people to lean on rather than expecting people to resolve everything for me.
I mean, why else would you get into a relationship other than a clear sexual attraction? If I felt I had something to learn from a female and the reason I got into a relationship with them was personal growth then that would send alarming lights to every witness. It would seem selfish, expecting them to be a "mother". If I got into a relationship with a girl because I was anxious and needed someone who was dominant then that'd strike me (and I assume others) as parasitic and one-dimensional. I think we're too hard on ourselves: Attraction throughout the animal kingdom doesn't involve a complex array of social behaviours or micro-expressions. A relationship 99% of the time involves sexual relationships, so if that's the case then that's the driver for a relationship instead of a friendship. Animals are driven by it, and so are we. We might have added layers to our sexual gratification but it still be there, yo.
I think we need to realize here that the world is clearly image driven: You go on tinder, you match with someone 9 times out of 10 because they looked attractive. You see someone on the street, you think they're cute. This is the same with clubs. Physical attraction seems to be a precursor to most relationships, followed by personality and then other behaviours.
I'm interested in personality too, but the main qualities (in order):
-Confidence
-Attraction
-Personality
peoplesuck
is escaping
Neat, I thought I was alone. No get a safety razor, straight razors are a pain to keep sharp and actually require technique.I shave my legs dry
Does that count? I do not use a straight razor on my legs. Maybe I should though...
stop it stop it stop it. Banish that POS razor or electric shaver to hell. A safety razor will last you for the rest of your life, give you a better shave, because despite what gillete wants you to think, each razor causes irritation, so 8 razors is actually fucking terrible. Its cheaper, and at the end of the day you wont be throwing shitloads of plastic into a landfill. This topic is close to my heart, seriously you know how much plastic is wasted because people are hell bent on getting the worst, most expensive shave????BAHH
Yes, Im a nerd
Høres ut koselig.
fake deep voice Komme med meg fjarlin, jeg skall redde deg. Thats my favorite swedish word I probably just misspelled.
Im a mess right now and you're going for your career, give it a few years.
I joke. You do sort of remind me of my teacher though. Not the bad sides of her, her caring side, and the fact that she had a similar past. It makes it a bit easier to understand her lack of control. so like a more stable version. I seriously have to stop comparing people to her, at this point its weird. oooof
peoplesuck
is escaping
I dont want that talk, forget I said anything.Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Are you a trap? Cool beans so is my friend, y'know I always put you in the same ballpark: I tend to relate people on this forum to their physical counterparts in my life.
@Kormak is this guy called lewis (ENTP ADHD)
@peoplesuck you are my friend dubz (or Nicola now)
@Serac is a russian guy I know called sergey (calculated, piercing glare)
@moody is my friend Joe (vegan and as hippy as you can get)
@Marbles like a supped up version of my old high school friend damien
@Inexorable Username You do not have a real counterpart, you got no match sonnn indulge in uniquity.
Does anyone else do this? It makes sense intuitively: I cannot know for sure you all exist as this is a medium, while if I physically see you face-to-face then I can be sure you're real. It may not be true, but it's intuitive to use people in real life as archetypes for other people's personality.
Marbles
What would Feynman do?
@Rebis Hmm.. In my mind's eye you are Wittgenstein and Oscar Wilde's lovechild. The stoic, bohemian hedonist.
@Kormak is Kormak the barbarian. He's even put that on his profile, now, so I guess he identifies, lol.. The game of thrones inspired tech throne really completes the picture.
@peoplesuck I finally remembered where I had seen his picture, so no need for imagination there. The guy is way too pretty to be having trouble with the ladies. There is also some Elliott Smith in PS. He'll fake it through the day, with some help from Johnny Walker Red.
@Serac I pretty much share your impression. He's shown more playfulness recently, so like so many on this forum he must have many facets. I imagine him entertaining his neighbours below with Django character impressions right now.
@moody Moody likes privacy, so I'm hesitant to do an analysis. I don't even know gender. I imagine hen in an ensemble, hanging out with TwoStepViolin from youtube during breaks.
@Inexorable Username Again a portrait makes imagination redundant. I also think I have read enough of her's that she's simply herself. I don't know anyone like her.
Damien, what a bad ass name. I'll be your Damien, Mr. Wilde.
@Kormak is Kormak the barbarian. He's even put that on his profile, now, so I guess he identifies, lol.. The game of thrones inspired tech throne really completes the picture.
@peoplesuck I finally remembered where I had seen his picture, so no need for imagination there. The guy is way too pretty to be having trouble with the ladies. There is also some Elliott Smith in PS. He'll fake it through the day, with some help from Johnny Walker Red.
@Serac I pretty much share your impression. He's shown more playfulness recently, so like so many on this forum he must have many facets. I imagine him entertaining his neighbours below with Django character impressions right now.
@moody Moody likes privacy, so I'm hesitant to do an analysis. I don't even know gender. I imagine hen in an ensemble, hanging out with TwoStepViolin from youtube during breaks.
@Inexorable Username Again a portrait makes imagination redundant. I also think I have read enough of her's that she's simply herself. I don't know anyone like her.
Damien, what a bad ass name. I'll be your Damien, Mr. Wilde.
Rebis
Blessed are the hearts that can bend
That profile picture is too good, it genuinely makes me think of serac as a super-cool western shooter with witty punchlines. Takes shots of alcohol and dishes out bullet shots.