I think my most relevant experience is being a server admin for a gaming clan called the Old Farts. The clan is for 30 year olds and older and has about 250+ members playing an assortment of games regulated through their main site. I was introduced to them about 3-4 years ago playing Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory, and I've been a referee for that game for about 2 years.
Being a first person shooter we have no shortage of players with bad attitudes joining the server (ours is one of the few popular servers left). People with hacks, teamstackers and ignorant/knowing rule violators. The referee policy is very specific and it had to evolve out of a lot of problems.
Rule #1: For any serious action a referee must collect some evidence or have witnesses
Rule #2: All banned players have the right to question the action in the forum
Rule #3: If the Ref is found to be in the wrong, a different ref must make the apology
Rule #4: If you can't decide who is right, trust the ref
I believe the first and last rule are the most important of the set. To make that happen you first need to create a folder that only moderators and administrators can see. I only assume it doesn't exist because I can't see it
Any actionable material should be moved or copied there and kept as evidence to be discussed.
A second folder should be opened for appeals (postable by accounts in ban status 1, but not ban status 2). By having an appeal folder you allow for more frequent use of the ban option because its not as severe as complete lack of access. It also allows for questionable bans to become more clear cut (if they go onto the appeal folder and start cursing, insulting, etc...), which helps the conscience and improves your confidence.
Never require the moderator who made the mistake to directly apologize to the injured party. Yes, they should admit their guilt in the privacy of the moderator folder, but no further. Do not humiliate the people on the front lines if you want them to be able to do their job. It also helps keep the tempers down of those involved.
Finally, the old stand-by. Mods are chosen because they are trustworthy, so trust them. If you get a bunch of abuse claims, or another moderator points out their improper actions, then deal with it, but never trust the word of someone with an axe to grind over the person in authority. Even if you like the injured party more than the moderator.
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The rules that get someone in trouble are obviously going to be a little different because we are much more forgiving of cursing than the old farts are (their kids play on that server, so they're a little protective). Still, these are some of the rules we have that are transferable to a forum atmosphere.
Things that get your post deleted:
Disrespecting another player (this covers a lot of ground obviously)
Arguing with a moderator
Spam
Things that get you banned:
Repeat offenses (in a short time frame, where ignorance is not an excuse)
High Level Disrespect (i.e. the infamous misogynistic post)
Things that get you demoted from moderator status:
Lack of a diplomacy first attitude
Obvious favoritism
Break the rules intentionally
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I don't know if any of that helps, but if you can draw some inspiration from it, wonderful.
) *sigh* One of these days I'll come up with something interesting to talk about.
) in a situation like this. I won't say what will force you to come and help, but I know you could still do good things here, and I think that you might be irreplacable in that regard 
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